Category: Catholic faith

All You Holy Men and Women

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

It’s a busy weekend and week for honoring the Saints. We all celebrated St. Patrick on Friday, his persistence in faith and bringing the Gospel message and Christianity to Ireland. Today we celebrate St. Joseph’s Day. The Solemnity in the Church is actually tomorrow due to March 19 2023 being the Fourth Sunday of Lent. As a member of Holy Family Church and an Italian, some of us are celebrating his feast day for two days. I look forward to a St. Joseph’s Table meal tonight at neighboring St. Joseph parish, part of the Peru Catholic Parishes. As part of my Lent Retreat, A Different Kind of Fast, we did a reflection of Joseph as sleeping Joseph in art. I posted that I found an increase in devotion to this representation of Joseph, sleeping and as the Dreamer, after Pope Francis shared in 2015, his devotion and a statue that he keeps to remind him that even while sleeping Joseph cares for the Church. As our commentator for that day’s reflection, Amanda Dillon, so wisely said, perhaps this art reflects “a call to put down our tools, rest, to allow God to hover over us and refresh us to new insights about out lives.” Profound!

Some saints, like St. Benedict, have two feast days, we celebrate his actual feast day on July 11 but on Tuesday, March 21, he, like St. Francis, also have a memorial day of their “transitus”, the day he entered Eternal Life. So it was appropriate this weekend to have our monthly Oblate gathering, as Oblates of St. Mary Monastery in Rock Island, as well as a study of St. Benedict as part of the The Mystical Heart Retreat Series with Abbey of the Arts.

Later this week, on Saturday, we celebrate the Annunciation of the Lord, the visit of the Archangel Gabriel to Mary and her “yes”, or fiat, to be Christ-bearer to the world. We celebrate Mary under several titles throughout the year or in our prayer; Christ-Bearer, Mystical Rose, Greenest Branch, Untier of Knots, Star of the Sea, Mother of Sorrows, Mother of Good Counsel, Queen of Heaven, and of course the more popular, Our Lady of Fatima, Lourdes and Guadalupe. There are so many titles for Mary that we can reflect upon to give us guidance in our lives.

I have an endless list of favorite saints, some for specific reasons like St. Nicholas, for charity and generosity, or St. Fiacre, patron of gardeners, and I often turn to St. Anthony, patron of lost items, to help me find something I put in a safe place! St. Hildegard in all things; she is a paragon of all the virtues I treasure and admire, mystic, writer and teacher, artist, musician, herbalist, Benedictine Abbess, and so much more. My mother loved her patron saint, St. Therese of Lisieux, for her “little way” while I love the passion, depth of spirituality and desire for reform of St. Teresa of Avila. Both, along with St. Hildegard, were mystics and are female Doctors of the Church.

I have been turning to both St. Teresa of Avila and St. Catherine of Siena during Lent for assistance with my contemplation of the immense love and mercy of Jesus for us. I recalled during another Lent virtual retreat of the contemplation of Jesus’ love for us and desire for our love, as consolation to Jesus, as St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta reflected on a Lenten letter written by St. Pope John Paul II. She wrote, “the closer you come to Jesus, the better you will know His thirst…Whenever we come close to Him – we become partners of Our Lady, St John, Magdalen. Hear Him. Hear your own name.” (excerpt from 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Michael Gaitley). The interesting thing is that reviewing that excerpt, and another book by Fr. Gaitley, Consoling the Heart of Jesus, I was reminded of the role of Ignatian spirituality and the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius that began for me in the 1990’s, and again with these books in 2016, and now that I am a part-time team member of Ignatian Ministries. St. Ignatius and others have guided my vocation through the years.

In today’s second reading for the Fourth Sunday of Lent, St. Paul, writing to the Ephesians, reminds us that we now live in the light of Christ. He appeals to us “Live as children of light, now light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth. Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.” One of my favorite tasks as administrator of the Facebook page for our parish is to share stories of saints on their feast days. We can learn so much from how they lived their lives. We can turn to them for their intercession and assistance in our own lives. We look to them as models and guides. They offer a treasury of examples of ways to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Spend some time reflecting on your own favorite saints and spend some time with their writings or prayers as part of your Lenten journey.

Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints. (final line of the Divine Praises)

All you Holy Men and Women, Saints of God, pray for us. (Included in The Litany of Saints)

Peace, Deena

Image: Two Saints by 20th century Russian artist, Mikhail Nesterov, on The Sacred Art Page on Facebook

Dealing with change

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

I suspect I am in the same boat as many of you this morning trying to adjust to our Spring Forward time change. The cats are confused, we are trying to figure out our routine this morning. Sometimes change is as mundane as moving the hands of a clock forward. Sometimes it is more monumental like loss and heartbreak.

This morning I got a text from a friend who is struggling with the realization that her sweet dog might be in her final days. I have suffered through that specific change three times in my life. It is so hard! My heart breaks for her today. I have another friend preparing to go out of state for a funeral for the death of her friend’s son, who died in an accident while out of country on a vacation. Two other friends face different struggles each day with their mothers in nursing homes. Another dealing with family addiction issues. Last night when I got home from a fun evening with friends I learned that the Chicago firefighter lost the last two children after his family was trapped in their home in a fire. While working, he arrived on the scene and had to try to resuscitate one of his own children. His entire family, wife and children, gone. All of those situations are tragic, how do we make sense of it? Can we make sense of it?

I just turned toward the window to contemplate the answer to that question – the snow is lightly falling again and a squirrel is happily bouncing around looking for things he buried, probably confiscated from my garden. A saying, part of a famous Zen koan, came to mind, “Chop wood, carry water”. We live life each and every day, the best we can, with as much love as we can give to each other. I can’t offer answers but I can and do offer my prayers.

I don’t mean that as a casual response of acceptance and resignation to the ups and downs of life. We don’t just shrug our shoulders and go on. I think we passionately embrace those moments of sorrow and grief, just as we do the wondrous occasions. As friends, we offer care and love to the other who is experiencing those tumultuous feelings. We understand that we will all go through those trying times and we must love the other as they travel through theirs. This week I read a blog post by Diane Butler Bass, an author and speaker, sharing the Lenten joy of her new puppy and a link to the blog post during the final Advent days of her previous beloved dog. I am sure at the writing of her Advent post she could not imagine the joy that her new puppy would bring. We can’t see it in the moment, we can only experience where we are.

I would recommend listening to Bishop Robert Barron’s homily for the Third Sunday of Lent this week. As Bishop Barron reflects on the Exodus scripture of the Israelites grumbling at Moses on their journey through the desert and the poetic gospel of John recounting the Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus at the well, he reminds us that a central paradox of the spiritual life is that grace is a gift, we can’t grasp at it. He summarizes that we grasp at so many things in life to try to be happy and satisfy our longings. A true way to find happiness is to share the graces we have received with one another.

As I again, try to contemplate meaning to each of those situations I shared at the start, I conclude that we can’t grasp at freedom from the difficult moments. Well, we can but it will be futile. They will be part of each of our journeys through life. But, just like our Lenten journey, aware that even the desert blooms in bright flowers after the rain, we look forward to Easter joy.

Peace, Deena

Image by Zack Dowdy on Unsplash

Embracing the Unexpected

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

On Friday my brother texted to see if I would be free on Saturday night for a visit. He and my sister-in-law would drive from the Quad Cities (4 cities that border the Mississippi River between Illinois and Iowa) for Mass and dinner. It was a lovely and unexpected surprise.

We had a delightful conversation with our parish priest after Mass. Then my other brother joined us and we celebrated family time together with bottles of wine at a local winery tasting room and then dinner. By the time we got home I reminded myself that I usually write this blog on Saturday evenings. Instead of shifting gears and putting pressure on myself to sit down and write, I embraced the theme of my Abbey of the Arts retreat, A Different Kind of Fasting. Our theme was fasting from multi-tasking and in-attention and embracing full presence to the moment. I opted to write this in the morning, this Sunday morning. When you are used to making sure every deadline and commitment is met, that no one is disappointed, or that I don’t disappoint myself by not following through on a plan, that my friends, was a big step for me!

In another mini-retreat I participated in this week, 5 days of reflection on Life as a Sacred Pilgrimage with Grateful Living, we were introduced to a poem by Maya Stein “in praise of I don’t know“. All week this verse has danced and repeated in my mind and soul “What if we could let ourselves rest for a little while in this halo of I don’t know, feel its soft touch against our urgent skin.” Perhaps that was the invitation I needed to allow change and flexibility in my routine. To be present to the unexpected adventure in my journey through the weekend. We begin journeys with a map but the memorable ones are those when we veer from the path to explore something new.

I woke up early this a.m. to very heavy fog. Everything was still and quiet. I read a morning prayer from the book of Kings, where after walking forty days and forty nights, Elijah encounters God not in the strong wind, earthquake or fire but the “light silent sound”. I let gratefulness for my family, for a lovely evening, for my faith and our parish overflow into a blessing of the day. Then I thought about today’s Gospel reading of The Transfiguration. I am so much like Peter! Jesus, knowing what lies ahead and the despair the apostles are going to experience during his arrest, crucifixion and death, gives three of the apostles a glimpse of heaven and his Divine Presence. Peter immediately wants to organize and put up tents. God’s voice interrupts the planning and reminds them, be here right now, listen.

What would happen in our daily lives if we just paused and listened more? Maybe it’s a poem that you read or a foggy morning that provides some insight for a situation in your life or decision you have to make. Perhaps it will be an unexpected invitation to break from the endless list of “have to’s” and accept the proposition to embrace something more life-giving. It is in those moments that we have to opportunity to listen to Spirit, to embrace activities that will nourish and sustain us.

I think John O’Donohue’s “For The Traveler” conveys this perfectly:

When you travel,
A new silence 
Goes with you
And if you listen,
You will hear
What your heart would
Love to say.

Listen a bit more closely this week.

Peace, Deena

Image: A pillar on the Camino heading towards Santiago de Compostela.

I have had a longing to walk the Camino before and after my visit to Spain and seeing pilgrims end their journeys at the Cathedral. So, last year I walked a virtual Camino and this was one of the lovely images shared on the app as we walked towards Santiago de Compostela.

The slow drip of Lent

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

Here we are, the First Sunday of Lent. I hope it has been a fruitful time for you so far. Between all the Lenten studies, books, devotionals and the retreat I am taking, I have enough content to reflect on for the entire season, without reading anything new. I have been so inspired by all the things I have been reading and reflecting on. My hope is that my sharing my experience of some of them will be helpful to you as well.

This past week I saw a print by a favorite artist, Kreg Yingst (WorkingArts on Etsy) of Abba Poemen, 4th Century Desert Father. The desert fathers and mothers (Abbas and Ammas) were Christians who walked away from their lives in order to intentionally listen to the call of God in a more radical way. Many people went to the desert to seek out these wise teachers for guidance in their own spiritual lives. The print is based on a quote by Abba Poemen where he states that water is soft and stones are hard but allowing water to drip on a stone, slowly it will wear it away. So it is with the word on God on our hearts. Kreg Yingst’s print says “dripping water pierces rock, God’s repeated word penetrates the heart.” This is my theme for this week, perhaps all of Lent, to let the slow drip of my Lenten fasting and prayer practices to wear away the many layers of resistance and avoidance within.

On Wednesday one of the meditations, part of my Abbey of the Arts Retreat, A Different Type of Fast, was with Abba Arsenius, another of the Desert Fathers. We sat in a cave and called upon Abba Arsenius to share his wisdom with us for our Lenten journey. He told me to sit, don’t act (or reach) so quickly. Slowly the desire I am trying to fill will leave and peace will fill the space. As I sat with Abba Arsenius and the wisdom he shared with me an image quickly came to me. It was a boat with holes in the bottom and water rushing in the holes. I saw all the habits I seek to be free of this Lent as my frantic attempts to prevent the water from rushing in, to prevent the feelings from rushing in. Rather than filling the holes it occurred to me to create an open space, with no resistance, and see what happens.

Another source of inspiration for Lent has been Ignatian Solidarity Network’s daily reflection of the theme Finding God in the Chaos. On Ash Wednesday, Sr. Norma Pimentel asked us to reflect on how we might be more attentive to God’s presence in the chaos of our world. The series is focused on finding hope and God’s presence in the chaos of our global landscape. As we do we are challenged to find ways to be part of a solution. That can feel difficult most days, but can I resist the temptation to say that the problems in our world are too big and that I can’t even make a dent in solving the problems? It might be as simple as using fewer paper towels or disposable items in the kitchen or saving money that would be spent on a drive-through coffee and over the course of Lent save those dollars to make a donation to a favorite cause. I believe that as we find more internal peace, calm, compassion and understanding we are more capable of bringing those qualities into the world. That alone can make a huge difference in our families, our work environments and our communities.

During Lent the Hallow app is doing a study of the classic The Imitation of Christ, believed to be written by Thomas a Kempis. If any of the things you are reading or hearing from others feel overwhelming or too hard, I offer the words from The Imitation of Christ, “do not be deterred, nor quickly cast down when you hear about the way of the perfect. Rather be inspired to reach great heights or at least aspire to attain them.” All of our internal efforts will, like water dripping on a stone, result in greater charity and concern for others. We can be assured that there will be outward signs of our inward journey of renewal.

Peace, Deena

Photo from PicMonkey

Is 40 days long enough for change?

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Spiritual Journey7 Comments

Friday morning I had to drag myself out of bed. It wasn’t one of those mornings that I was just tired and moving slow. It was a feeling of dread, sadness, and lack of purpose. I felt I had no reason to want to get up. Finally the persistence of the cats, who were perturbed that I wasn’t following my normal routine, roused me and forced me to move. I need to be honest and admit that I have been fighting this feeling for quite some time. Some days aren’t so bad and I blame it on the weather or nothing special on my schedule to look forward to. Other days I wonder if I should seek some assistance. I have reflected on a thousand reasons for the feeling. A description for the malaise that I find fitting is spiritual desolation.

Later in the morning I saw a post by a former colleague and friend who was recently remarried. She moved away from the Chicago suburbs to be close to family and after moving connected with a past love. She looked so beautiful and radiated such joy, I was thrilled for her! After that I returned to the task of looking for a daily post for Instagram. I found one that seemed to reflect what I felt seeing her joyful pictures and a message I needed for myself – “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” The quote is by Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist.

If I am honest about my life, it has been one of constant and endless searching. At one point, many years ago, a spiritual director told me that I might just be someone who will always be restless, searching for more, and trying to find meaning. He suggested I might just have to face the discontent and embrace it. As you can imagine, that didn’t feel very hopeful. So I continued searching in spiritual books and poetry, retreats, and study programs to either provide an answer or new insight regarding my purpose in doing God’s will in my life.

I don’t know if it was the pictures or the quote, but suddenly I decided I wanted to cease the search to find an answer. I just wanted “to be” as I heard Brother Paul Quenon of Gethsemani Abbey comment in a short PBS documentary and interview conducted by my friend, author, Judith Valente (link below). Brother Paul said that we don’t need a purpose, that the “purpose of life is life”, “you are to be, just to be.”

I decided I wanted to live more fully in the present moment – to plan for things like my trip to Italy in October versus worrying about my purpose in life. I want to clean and organize the garage this Spring and Summer (along with countless other places in the house) versus organizing an endless list of things to do that will help me feel like I am accomplishing something meaningful. Just being should hold enough meaning. I want to get my hands in the dirt and work with my plants in the garden and then appreciate the slow growth and unfolding.

Lent starts this week. I savor the deep reflection and extra times of prayer during this liturgical season in the Church. I don’t look forward to but choose a food fast of some sort. It is a practice each year that helps me explore and conquer some of the lack of self discipline I feel in my life. It’s a time to turn away from the instant gratification of some desired item and clear a space to look within.

So on Friday I also signed up for a retreat with one of my favorite teachers and her team, Christine Valters Paintner at Abbey of the Arts. The theme of the retreat is to explore a different type of Lenten fast. Fasts in the way we think and approach life. For me, the thing I desire to fast from is that constant search I mentioned, from needing and wanting more in an attempt to satisfy the need to fill the empty space of who I am and what I have. I want to fast from activities that don’t serve me and fill up my schedule, and attention, and instead embrace more pausing and resting, as I have talked about the past couple of weeks. I want to fast from acting like I have it all figured out. I want to fast from knowing and certainty and embrace “mystery and waiting”.

As I think about Lent, I ask myself if 40 days is enough time for me to let go of the burdens I have placed on myself and have been carrying. As Vinita Hampton Wright says in the video that I have pasted below (and played with rearranging some of her words for my blog post title), yes, 40 days is enough. I hope, and believe, that it is enough time to begin and then continue each day afterwards, so that after Lent there will be a renewal of hope and joy, a resurrection within me.

As you read this, does anything stir within? What would you like to fast from this Lent? Some of you said that the posts on pausing resonated with you. If so, where can you add more moments of pause during these next 40 days, to choose to fast from unnecessary activity to stay busy? What thoughts and activities can you take a conscious fast from? I would love to hear from you, either by commenting or sending me a message.

Let’s take this journey together.

Peace, Deena

More Resources:

Vinita Hampton Wright’s YouTube Video, Lent is the Season for Truth-Telling. This was one of, if not the first video I listened to Vinita. It’s a favorite!

Judith Valente’s PBS interview with Brother Paul in 2011: https://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2011/05/06/may-6-2011-brother-paul/8764/ The interview and the correspondence that followed led to a deep friendship and also a partnership on a book released in 2021, How to Be: A Monk and a Journalist Reflect on Living & Dying, Purpose & Prayer, Forgiveness & Friendship.

Abbey of the Arts is a virtual monastery and global community that offers programs and resources that nourish the contemplative practice and creative expression. I discovered Abbey of the Arts at the beginning of the pandemic, taking many of the online retreats and programs offered in the course of the 2 years and have continued since. These programs and the virtual community nourished my spirit and filled my heart and mind during the desert time of being at home. Christine became an Amma, or desert mother, who helped me transform the seclusion of being at home into a time of growing awareness of the cave of the heart. It’s time to return there.

Image is a paper craft design I created.

When we can’t see but we know.

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spiritualityLeave a comment

I had something else started and almost complete for my blog post today but then I encountered the most incredible sunset Saturday evening. It was very similar to the sunset picture I added to this blog but I was driving so I didn’t stop to capture it and to be honest, I didn’t want to spoil the moment. I wanted to keep watching it glow and change in all the regal colors of pink, purple and blue. I felt immense gratitude for a beautiful day, warmer temps (after frigid cold on Friday), morning coffee with a friend and a lovely Saturday Vigil Mass.

As I drove I looked to the left where the evening before I saw 20 or so deer grazing in a field. They weren’t there, I wondered where they had ventured for their evening meal. I turned at an intersection on the edge of town to head toward my house and looked up at the sky to see the beginning of the almost full moon (full today on February 5) shrouded in secrecy due to the clouds.

All of these images reminded me of a drive home many years ago at a time that the corporation I worked for had an office building about 20 miles from my home. I would take a scenic route along the backwaters of the Illinois River, drive through what we, in the Illinois Valley area, affectionately call “The Curves” that wind through Starved Rock State Park and then along fields until I arrived home. Fall, Winter, and Spring, during dusk and night times, you have to be especially watchful for deer on the side of the road, hoping they won’t dart out in front of the car.

One very dark evening, with no moonlight, on my drive home I was being careful to watch each side of the road. I said to myself “just because you can’t see the deer, doesn’t mean they aren’t there, so be careful!” Instantly I pondered that as a reflection on God as well. There are moments that God feels right next to me, nudging and pointing the way, and other times that I have to stop and look hard, wondering where God might be. But my faith tells me, God is in fact there regardless of the circumstances of the moment.

This past week we celebrated the memorial of Irish Saint, St Brigid of Kildare. Her feast also marks the cross-quarter day of the Celtic celebration of Imbolc, which means in the belly of the Mother. It is the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox, a time when all within begins to rumble and stir to life. The Celts believe that these special days are threshold days or days when the veil between the sacred, spiritual world and the physical world is thinner and the spiritual realm more accessible. Like lighting a votive candle in a church, lighting a candle and placing a scarf out for St. Brigid to touch as she passes by, symbolize a belief in the great communion of saints standing by to intercede on our behalf. Most of us don’t see or hear them with actual vision or sound. But not seeing doesn’t diminish my belief in their heavenly aid.

Last year I purchased Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. It’s a fantastic book that presents numerous ideas for cultivating moments of grace with God by embracing Celtic Christian wisdom. In one of my favorite sections of the book, Julianne reminds us that silence can speak volumes. She writes that children are especially good at seeing beyond what is spoken given their growing vocabularies, being able to imagine and hold on to a sense of wonder, and to celebrate simple moments like walking barefoot in the grass or dirt.

I recall going to my father’s gravesite with my nephew just after his burial. The plot was still dirt covered. My nephew, six years old, stuck his finger deep down in the dirt and said he wanted to touch grandpa one more time. He believed it and in that moment, so did I. For that brief moment, we were in a threshold space, a thin space of touching the sacred world beyond the physical.

I hope this week brings you moments of sensing the sacred in daily moments, moments that you feel the presence of the Divine even when you can’t see it.

Peace, Deena

Resource Info:

Matthew Klein has a great drone video of “The Curves” on his Facebook page. Visit his website for more information about his photography and films, as well as links to his Facebook and Instagram pages.

Starved Rock State Park is a lovely park to visit if you are in the Illinois Valley area. For more info visit their website.

All our choices matter

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spirituality1 Comment

This past week I listened to a seminar by Tony Robbins. Two steps of a 5-step plan for successful living that he outlined were to choose good role models, and create clear goals, for the type of life you want to live. He also said that proximity is power, the more you spend time with those people, the more likely you are to take on those characteristics and begin to live a similar life. We can’t always be in physical proximity with the people we want to learn from and emulate but there are certainly virtual ways to listen to or even study them. You’ve probably heard the saying that you become like the five people that you spend the most amount of your time with. I think it is true. So, we have to choose those five people carefully!

Saturday, January 28, was the feast day of St. Thomas Aquinas. One of the quotes attributed to St. Thomas is “the things that we love tell us what we are“. I invite us to take a moment this weekend and think about those things. To ask the question where we might be focusing our time and attention. Also, to consider who we are allowing to have such a dramatic impact on the outcome of our lives. I understand that we can’t eliminate some people from our life because of jobs or family situations. But we can control how we let those people impact us. We can also make sure that we are finding ways to be with the people that lift us up, to balance out the situations that we can’t walk away from. We have to live the right story. It can be painful to change our existing story if it isn’t creating the life we want. Here is the interesting part, we will hang on to that pain until we value something else more. Of course it is easier to stay the same, but is that the life we want?

The Gospel for this Fourth Week in Ordinary Time is Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes. Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, those mourning, and those who are persecuted, etc. What in this world makes me want those qualities over the opposite of each of those “blessings”? Nothing. That’s right, nothing in this world. It isn’t easy to choose these qualities over the ones that the world constantly presents to us as desirable. We each have to search our hearts to see if we make choices that will enhance the opportunity of eternal life over temporal satisfaction now.

In saying that, I don’t think that the choice means that we can’t or won’t enjoy the blessings of this life while we are living it, graces like joy, happiness, peace or security. It just means that we don’t cling to those things. We don’t seek them as an answer to the question of finding meaning in life. It means keeping a watch on the importance we attach to them.

Let’s circle back to role models and the 5 people we spend most of our time with. Perhaps the choice is to spend time with people that have a proper balance and attitude about the things that matter. We watch them, and we choose, to make choices that feed our mind, body and spirit over things that feel good for a moment. This week let’s take a loving and non-judgmental glance at the people and choices we spend our time with. Let’s reflect on them in light of St. Thomas Aquinas’ quote – the things we love tell us what we are.

Peace, Deena

Image by Chang Duong on Unsplash

Have you ever had a God moment?

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spiritualityLeave a comment

Have you ever had a “God moment”? One of those moments that you felt that the Divine reached down and said “I just want you to know I see you, I hear you, I am with you?”

As part of a weekly prayer group, after attending a Light of the World Retreat (a kerygmatic parish renewal retreat), four friends and I have met each week for the past four years (it will be five this Lent!) to pray, study and grow together in our faith lives. We have followed the same format each week, which begins with a prayer of thanksgiving. We then share a “God moment”, move to our reading or study for the week and then conclude with prayers of petition. Some weeks the God moments are bigger and more obvious, other weeks it might be something less dramatic but that touched us in a personal way and reminded us of God’s presence in our lives. It is a gift to hear those moments in each other’s lives each week. It reminds us that God is with us, in big and small ways every day.

This week my God moments caught my attention immediately. They were reminders that I am not on this journey alone, trying to figure it out without some guidance and inspiration. I seem to forget that, a lot! I am grateful that God will use daily moments to remind me to take it easy, pause and ask when I need the help.

Monday, after talking about the value of Rest in my last blog, promising myself I would take time to be still and listen, I was frazzled again. I was worrying about something and was also not giving myself enough time to do what I wanted to get done in the house, get gas in the car and get to my cousin’s veterinary clinic for Butters check up (one of my two cats was recently diagnosed as diabetic and needs insulin twice a day). I got to the gas station and a new clerk was learning the cash register. She made an error which meant my purchase had to be cancelled and re-entered to correct it. I felt myself trying to be patient but looking at the clock I knew I had not given myself enough time. The two attendants had to call the manager for assistance, something wasn’t working right for them on the cancel process. The manager said she had to go outside and pump gas to fix it. Another delay. Finally, “come on guys” just blurted out of my mouth and I knew I failed the patience test. The issue was corrected, I got gas in the car, got on the highway and I called to indicate I would be late. Of course it was fine but I was upset with myself for not getting it all done perfectly and on time.

The appointment for Butters was fine and I had a delightful visit with my cousins. On the drive home I saw my phone light up. I glanced down thinking it was a response to a text I sent after the appointment and noticed it was the Hallow app playing.

I don’t usually play music in my car or listen to the radio. I did a couple of days prior, listening to classical music on the car radio to relax on a drive, but I did not have the Hallow app on. I also did not have the particular “course” that started playing on. I had been listening to Night Prayer at home the day before.

What lit up on my phone? This is the God moment – the phone started playing Stress Management by Reform Wellness, a short 8-session program on Hallow.

I laughed out loud, put it on the car audio to play and said “Thanks God, I appreciate it and am glad you have a sense of humor!” The recording was actually very good, just what I needed to hear. I plan to listen to it again, especially when I feel myself getting upset about something insignificant!

So was it a coincidence? Does God reach down and select the app to play on my phone? Seriously, I don’t know or care. What I do know is that in that moment I needed to take a deep breath, hand it over to God, and trust that everything is ok. In that moment, and through the stress management hints the program shared with me, I felt the Divine saying “relax, breathe, let me handle it”. That is a “God moment”.

On Tuesday I was checking Facebook after work and noticed a post by the Franciscan Sisters of Joliet.

The post was: “Come away by yourself and rest awhile…” Mark 6:31

I loved seeing this on Facebook that afternoon after sharing my blog post on Rest last weekend. It was an affirmation of what I wrote about and a reminder to listen myself. The Joliet Franciscan Sisters are a special community to me. My aunt was a Franciscan sister and my cousin who is still living in Joliet, founder of The Upper Room Crisis Line, has been a faithful member of the Congregation for 72+ years! It was another God moment; a reminder to rest, listen to my own wisdom, trust God a little bit more and through the post, was also a special family connection.

As you move through your week, look for those moments. When you look you will find them. Some days they are big blatant reminders, like lightening strikes, to pay attention and know that we are not alone in the world. Other days they are like a soft breeze, gentle whispers, as if to say “I just wanted to catch your attention”.

The Spirit is always with us, some days we are sleeping and miss it. Other days we are alert and notice. It certainly is more comforting and reassuring to be aware and feel Divine Presence throughout each day. Be on the lookout this week. I’d love to hear what you notice.

Peace, Deena

Photo posted on Joliet Franciscan Sisters Facebook page on January 14, 2023 (@ Sisters of St Francis)

When you are weary – rest

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spiritualityLeave a comment

Saturday morning I attended a workshop by my friend and essential oil teacher/mentor, Kate Brown, and several of her colleagues from the aromatherapy school that she teaches for. It was a wonderful event, “Regroup – Reboot – Re-Emerge”, during which Kate and the other presenters shared techniques, and essential oils, for centering, grounding, setting intention, etc. But after it was over I realized I needed more one R – Rest!

I don’t mean sit with a book, the “chill and relax” sort of rest, or sit and mindlessly watch YouTube videos or scroll social media. I can decompress and relax by doing those things if I don’t want to focus on anything specific. I can unwind by looking out the window at the birds or going for a drive. I have apps and a variety of podcasts or programs to listen to that help clear a racing mind, especially if I am intensely focusing and giving energy to something I would prefer not to.

I tend to get involved in a lot of activities or sign up for programs and workshops so that I can learn more. I usually love all of that activity. But I realized I was just exhausted and overwhelmed by a multitude of daily events and responsibilities. I thought about watching my favorite YouTube artists and crafters or getting my daily “Catechism in a Year” video and notes with Fr Mike Schmitz done. But I knew that wasn’t the answer. It was Rest that I needed.

I laid down on the bed. Butters, my ginger cat, jumped up alongside me and we just rested. Not napped, just rested. It was the kind of rest that was like the Contemplatio step in prayer practice, Lectio Divina, the final phase of just resting in the presence of God.

After awhile I asked why I overextend? Why I don’t put more rest time in my day, or even my week? I am not sure who I was asking – myself, God? I don’t really think I needed an answer beyond knowing that I need to take more time to sit quietly, to listen and not talk, to just be.

In Sacred Scripture we hear that Jesus, when the apostles returned after being sent out on their own to teach and heal, told them to “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest awhile.” (Mark 6: 30-32)

Why would I even assume that with a busy week of ministry work, parish involvement, caring for my pets, keeping up with friends and family, studying and learning more about my faith and other interests, that I wouldn’t need time to rest and listen for guidance? To pause on the doing of more activities and just rest in the presence of God.

Every night, as part of Night Prayer/Liturgy of the Hours, I recite (or listen to, if using an app) this verse:

Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake, watch over us as we sleep, that awake, we may keep watch with Christ, and asleep, rest in his peace.

I think that prayer will have a different meaning for me each night from now on. Instead of just to rest in God’s peace while sleeping, I want more hours in each day where I feel I am just resting in the gentle embrace of God. I want to feel the peace of knowing if I stop talking and start listening during prayer, maybe a bit more of that peace will wash over each day.

If you feel busy all the time, or overwhelmed, I wish the same for you!

Peace, Deena

Resources:

To learn more about Kate Brown, her essential oil programs and practice, visit Kate Brown Healing Essentials.

Catechism in a Year – study the Catechism of the Catholic Church with Fr Mike and Ascension Press on YouTube or download the study guide and read on your own. It’s still early in the year and the sections reviewed each day have been short, you could easily join in and catch up.

Image: My cat, Butters, resting in the sun earlier in the week. They are masters of rest.

An Epiphany – Thoughts for the new year

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spirituality1 Comment

Today January 8 the Church celebrates the Feast of the Epiphany, the visit of the Magi to the Christ Child. The traditional date in the Church is January 6, but like so many other Feast Days it has been moved to Sunday. It’s a beautiful text in scripture; the Magi or Wise Men, are called by King Herod to find the child that has been prophesied as a new king, a ruler of the nations. They follow a star, using their scientific knowledge to navigate their course to Jesus in Bethlehem. They bring the gifts of homage; gold, frankincense and myrrh.

We all know the story, the wise noble men, seeking someone wiser than themselves. We have heard various reflections on the meanings of the gifts they bring. We have been asked to consider the symbolism of offering our own gifts to God as we come to learn what they are and grow in our capacity and confidence to offer them in the world.

As I was thinking about what I might write for today’s blog, a multitude of things came to mind. I wondered about the trust that the wise men had to have, in themselves, to follow their knowledge and insights in seeking this unknown place and child king they were searching for. I wondered whether I would have turned around and headed back home when the star didn’t shine as bright or as clear, when the journey was difficult.

I also thought about each day we wake up and try to offer our best in the world. As I sat at my desk I glanced at a journal I didn’t mention last week. I frankly forgot about it when I was writing and sharing some of the journals I use or how I use them. It’s a 5 year Memory Book by Natural Life. Each day there is a space to jot down activities or thoughts for the day. Now that I have started my second year, it’s interesting to reflect on that date, in 2022, and what happened. The title, or thought, on the cover is “Each Day is a Gift”.

On Monday, I listened to a YouTube video by Monique Jacobs, a spiritual director/vlogger I subscribe to. In her video Monique talks about the value of an annual Examen, a practice of looking at our day, or year in Monique’s example, in review. Monique offers the idea of looking at each month of the past year, identifying a peek experience, and remembering myself in each of those experiences, what happened and how I responded. Then she asked that I look at myself as God sees me, to see myself with the loving gaze of God.

As I saw the title of my memory book and reflected on Monique’s video in light of the feast of Epiphany, I wondered, what it would be like if I looked at each day in this year of 2023 as a gift that I then turn and offer back to God?

There is a common prayer practice called the Morning Offering. It’s a prayer said at the beginning of each day in which I offer my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of the day to God. It’s a lovely prayer. I try to say it each day and have even tweaked it a bit to include prayers for peace between Ukraine and Russia, and to include the intentions of my family and friends. I also like to do an evening Examen, to look for the graces of the day and to be thankful. It’s also a chance to view the day for those moments of opportunity to improve and grow closer to God. But what would it feel like, at the end of each day, as I review or conduct an Examen of the day, to offer it back to God as a gift?

As I kneel before Jesus, as King and Lord of my life, I can’t imagine feeling content with the gifts I offer, with the tattered gifts of impatience, anger, self-centeredness or self-indulgence. I can’t imagine…unless I see the loving gaze of God looking upon me, as Monique suggested in her video. Nothing that I can do or present is worthy, when viewed in my eyes. But God’s gaze of unconditional love and compassion is different than my gaze.

All of these stories in scripture remain stories or narratives of a time 2000+ years ago, unless we hear them with the desire that God has for us to be in relationship. The Saints of the Church knew this, the desire to offer what they were to God was stronger than the urge to withdraw because their gifts felt inadequate. Catherine of Siena, 14th century Dominican mystic and woman Doctor of the Church, said in her Dialogue (60) “Love transforms one into what one loves.“

May our prayer and desire each day, as we offer the gift of the day back to God, be that we are transformed by that gaze of Love.

Peace, Deena

Image from a visit to Our Lady of Angels Chapel