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Crowding out the chaos

My brother and I own the duplex that I live in. We have a tenant renting the other side. I have several plants in the flower beds on that side of the building but I have not planted as many as I have on my side and I don’t take the time to care for it as well as mine. For the past couple of years the weeds have been atrocious. I have tried rock, heavy mulch (lots and lots of heavy mulch!), landscape paper, but the soil is just lousy. The weeds seem to thrive in it. I have been putting off getting over on that side to clear the weeds again. Friday I decided I needed to get out there again, but I had a new idea. I purchased some ground cover, as I have in many areas of my flower beds, and planted to see if it will eventually grow and crowd out the weeds. I only completed a small section and I really wanted different ground cover than the ones I found, but it’s a start!

Planting the new ground cover is fresh on my mind this morning as I reflected on the Gospel reading for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Matthew’s second accounting of the storm at sea has the apostles in the boat, alone without Jesus, as a storm brews and overwhelms them. In this version, they see Jesus in the distance as he walks toward them on the water. We are all familiar with Peter calling out to Jesus, Peter walking out to him on the water, but then begins to sink as he takes his eyes off Jesus. Our pastor, Fr. Paul Carlson, shared an insightful homily of the two storm versions in Matthew’s gospel and the need to keep our focus on Jesus as we navigate the storms and turbulent waters of this world. He reminded us that as followers of Jesus, “we need to be able to walk on the difficult seas [in life], but not be swallowed up by them.”

It’s not easy some days. The noise and turbulence of the world can overwhelm us just as the sea did to the apostles in the gospel. The weeds can take over and crowd out the good plants, in our spirit and soul, unless we replace the weeds with better plants. We need to blanket the soil of our minds and hearts with quiet time of prayer, reflection, and soul time with God. We are able to keep our eyes on Jesus, and less on the world, by who and what we devote our attention to.

I’m not sure if it’s age, or wisdom, but I find myself cherishing the quiet, alone time at home, or at church, more than I ever have in past years. Whether reading, listening to podcasts, gardening, stitching and reflecting, or simply in quiet prayer, it’s easier to be at peace. Perhaps it isn’t what I am turning toward but what I am turning away from. Likely, it’s a combination of both. Regardless, life is more serene and tranquil when I do so.

At this point in my writing journey of publishing this blog every Sunday for over three years, I have to check titles to make sure I haven’t used it before. This by itself is a task in creativity. I searched and found a previous post titled, “Clearing the Weeds”. I reread it and was reminded of a somatic technique called SNAP that author, and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, developed. In the blog I share the meaning of the acronym, and briefly how to use the technique, to manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. I had forgotten about it, and in addition to prayer and contemplation, this simple technique is a great way to recenter in moments of stress. You can click here to read that post:https://deenapavinato.com/2025/06/22/clearing-the-weeds/.

This week I encourage you to find ways, that are helpful to you, when you need to clear the weeds in your own inner landscape. Find ways to be still. Then check in and see if it makes a difference in your day and your outlook.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s image: One of the small areas of pachysandra, a ground cover (Japanese Spurge), in my flower beds, that my friend Kathy and I fell in love with at Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and have been adding to our flower beds this year. It’s growing nicely and next year I will be sure to add more to both sides of the duplex.

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On the lookout for peace

During the Covid pandemic years I took several online classes, retreats and programs. One of those was a Women’s Mystics School offered by Spiritual Wanderlust, an online community supporting aspects of the interior life and exploring wisdom teachers in the contemplative tradition, modern psychology, philosophy and spirituality. It was always my favorite Saturday of the month to listen to and learn from the speakers invited to present to us. In 2022, we looked at the life and writings of modern mystic, Etty Hillesum.

Etty was a Dutch Jewish woman killed in the concentration camps in 1943. Etty was a well-educated woman who suffered from severe depression and sought help from her analyst, Julius Spier, who became her mentor, friend and lover. Spier encouraged her to keep a journal or diary. Those writings were published after her death in “An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork.” Etty wrote reflections on things she read by Carl Jung and Rainer Maria Rilke. She wrote about her relationship with Spier. She wrote of her inner world. During the German occupation, Etty refused to go into hiding. She was forced to go to Westerbork, one of the transition camps, for Dutch Jews. From June to September 1943 she writes from Westerbork before being transferred herself to Auschwitz before being killed in November at the age of 29 years old.

What I found striking during our study of Etty’s writing was how she attempted to look at the situation she was facing, the trains and the faces of those being boarded on them, the German guards, and her own perspective and relationship to a God who dwelled deep within her. She tried to find and give love, build community, in the little ways she could while helping others in the transition camp. She focused on living fully, holding suffering and beauty simultaneously, despite the conditions she was facing. She didn’t focus on a God, external, in the midst of the turmoil in her country and the world. Rather, she experienced God in the deepest, richest parts of her being, and found rest and shelter there.

I was reminded of this study a couple of weeks ago, reading an article on Hillesum by Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation. Rohr shared several of Etty’s writing in his reflection. They seem relevant for me today.

Etty reflects on the war she is seeing around her and writes, “Why is there war?… Because I and my neighbor and everyone else do not have enough love. Yet we could fight war and all the excrescences by releasing, each day, the love that is shackled inside of us, and giving it a chance to live.” We don’t have to look to war torn countries. All we need do is look to our current government and how our legislative representatives interact with each other and those they disagree with.

In today’s Gospel for the Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, (Matthew 14: 14-21) Jesus is “moved with pity” seeing the crowds following him, seeking guidance and his teaching. In the famous scene, the apostles are concerned for the thousands gathering around them, needing food, and asks Jesus to spend them away. Jesus initially responds to their request by saying that the apostles don’t need to send them away, but to feed them. They, of course, resist and say what they have is not enough. Jesus then feeds the crowds and abundant leftovers are gathered.

How often do we resist and say that we are just one person, we don’t have enough (time, resources, confidence) to make a difference in the world?

Even on a smaller, more personal level, Hillesum writes that we fight so many small battles, within, each day, that sap our energy. She offers instead that we must “not allow ourselves to become infested with thousands of petty fears and worries, so many motions of no confidence in God…. Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Silencing those small voices that insist on promoting unrest within can be challenging. Add social media to the mix and the voices seeking to drown out peace get louder and louder. So, I might be missing out on an update from a friend, or local area news, but reducing the amount of time I spend on social media, or on the news, saves the little bit of peace I can control.

Hillesum writes, speaking to God, “One thing is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well… You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend your dwelling place inside us to the last.”

This week I choose to be more on the lookout for peace than unrest and for small ways that I can make a difference with my humble fish and loaves.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: St. Francis statue, a garden in Assisi.

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Calming the mind

Last weekend was the most delicious pause to stitch and learn from designers, and those with a presence, in the stitching world. It was filled with lots of laughs and mutual support, which I am finding to be the hallmark of the stitching community. Last September I saw a Halloween chart and decided I was going to learn to cross stitch. I had never purchased a piece of fabric or floss for stitching. I have become obsessed with my new hobby. I love learning tips and tricks, of course. But more than anything else I love hearing the journeys of stitchers and creators that I follow. The husband and wife team of Artsy Housewife, Gigi the designer, delight me with their stitching and stories. Stephanie, a competent designer and owner of Lindy Stitches (an online store for all things stitching), shared a self-deprecating video of her 10 biggest design flops this week, not to solicit support or sales, but to share her thoughts for those who might be trying their hand at designing charts. As usual, she had me laughing! I am constantly amazed at the wisdom of Jacob de Graaf, a designer from the Netherlands, who is an expert on antique samplers. His own designs are influenced by Quaker samplers and designs from the Netherlands and Scandinavia. I have selected two (what am I thinking?!) designs for my August birthday stitch and as part of a stitch along he will be leading. The list of designers, makers, and regular stitchers like me, who share their insights, journeys and projects, that I watch and learn from is endless.

But, the best part of stitching is the quiet, steady, peaceful flow state I enter each and every night as I work on projects. Other concerns, or mindless chatter, fall into the background. Each stitch becomes a tiny win for the day. They are little victories that release feel good hormones like dopamine. Knitting and crocheting do the same for those engaging in those crafts, also said to support emotional regulation and good brain chemistry. As our brains lock into the single task at hand, the brain gets focused and feels safe. I am changing and growing with each project I stitch, not only in confidence but also a sense of who I am as a person. I began learning about the neurological reactions of crafting, journaling and drawing, and the impact on our overall well-being, when I began experimenting with and studying neurographic art last year. By focusing on the process of drawing simple lines and curves, we calm down and relieve stress. This alone can help us find solutions to issues we might be dealing with.

My prayer and contemplative practice has slowed down and become more centered as well. It has become easier to quiet the mind when it is racing. I can pray as I stitch – each stitch, each breath, clear a space to listen more attentively.

Another practice I was introduced to this summer was helpful as well. As I have shared, and written, I am a Benedictine Oblate. Generally each day, besides praying the psalms, I try to read The Rule of St. Benedict, which guides our daily living in the principles of stability, mindful work, and hospitality to others (welcoming the Christ in all persons). The Rule is broken down into small nuggets, or chapters, for each day of the year. There are many excellent commentaries on The Rule, which studying as an Oblate, help us find relevance for living in the modern world.

I was gifted a version of The Rule, “Suscipe me, Domine” compiled by a men’s monastic community in Norcia, Italy. I read one of the reflections on “Unceasing Prayer in the Rule of St. Benedict” that has significantly transformed my prayer life. Many of us are familiar with the “Jesus Prayer” prayed by the Desert Fathers and early Christian monks as a way to practice continuous prayer. It is certainly a version that I could have chosen. The reflection stated that St. John Cassian, who had a significant impact on St. Benedict’s writing of The Rule, advocates one prayer, “an all-purpose invocation” that can and should be prayed by monastics at all times, as transition from personal prayer to communal prayer, for those in an abbey or monastery. Cassian’s recommended verse was “O God, come to my assistance. Lord, make haste to help me.” This is a typical verse recited, or chanted, as the opening line for specific “hours” of prayer, such as Morning and Evening Prayer, in the Liturgy of the Hours. I began using this verse at various times of the day – when I sat down to pray but didn’t want to pray standard prayers or intercessory prayers, when my mind was racing with a concern that I wanted to quiet, during weekly Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and at 3 or 4 a.m. when I wake and sense that my mind wants to begin to spin out of control. Breathing slowly and repeating this simple prayer has been powerful! I would encourage anyone with “monkey mind” to give it a try. I’d love to hear your experience after practicing it awhile.

Lastly, finding ways to slow down and tune into our breath can be an amazingly simple practice to bring calm into your day. Whether stitching, praying a simple mantra, or sitting quietly in a chair paying attention to the breath, I am confident you will introduce more moments of peace into your day.

If you would like to learn more about breath practice, my friend Kate Brown, and her teacher, Valerie Sorrentino, will be offering a free live Zoom experience this week, Room To Breath, on Thursday, July 30th at 6 p.m. CT. You do not have to have previous breath work experience to participate. You will learn more about intentional breathing and two simple practices from Valerie’s program. I hope you will join me there! I will provide the link below (for those on social media, you may have to click the link to my website to access it).

I wish you a week that is steady, calm and full of peaceful moments, Deena

Click here for link to Room To Breathe

Today’s image: One of my 9-month patriotic stitch alongs, Remember the Ladies as part of America the Beautiful, by designer, Teresa Kogut.

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Cultivating growth

I planted a new shrub this Spring. I was looking for a full sun plant, for the flower bed in the south of my duplex, that gets direct sun morning until late afternoon. The Potentilla fruticosa ‘Jefman’, or Mandarin Tango Potentilla, was a vibrant green when I planted it and I anxiously awaited the vibrant orange-yellow flowers promised during the summer. I know there is some adjustment time but began to be concerned as I noticed signs that it was not thriving as well as the Japanese Pieris I planted at the same time on the West side of the duplex, protected from the sun by neighboring building. As the weather warmed I decided to move it to the West side, to a section shaded even more than the Pieris. I hoped that the new environment would be the right place to flourish and grow. You can see in today’s image that it seems much happier in this new location.

Some of the flowering plants I have in pots love the hot days and direct sun. My favorite summer plant, Ruellia brittoniana (also called Desert Petunia, Mexican Petunia or Purple Showers), recommended by Tad, owner of Seatonville Greenhouse a few years ago, will produce and drop gorgeous purple flowers every day. While it loves the heat and sun, it requires daily watering, sometimes twice. Gardening experts will advise to water deep but not daily, but I have learned that it depends on the plant. Each variety requires different care.

Today’s Gospel, for the Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, is the familiar gospel of the sower and the seeds. Jesus shares the parable of the farmer that scatters seed, seeds falling on the path with no soil to sprout, rocky soil not deep enough to establish roots and encourage growth, thorny soil that choked out the tender seed growth, and rich soil that allowed for growth and abundant crops. Of course, it’s a lovely analogy for our spiritual lives and the soil we tend to allow a vibrant relationship with Christ.

We are the gardeners of our lives. We choose, consciously or not, the environment that will allow for growth or choke it off. The things we think, the content we consume (online or written word), the people we choose to spend our time with, and the time and energy we allow for learning new things become the garden of our future. Some days might feel like nothing is progressing, circumstances might look and feel like failure, but perhaps we just need to tend to the “soil” to encourage growth, like my Potentilla needed a new area to allow for growth.

We need the right soil, sunlight, mindset and circle of friends to support us on our journey of becoming who we want to be and what we hope our lives will become. I have always been an introvert (at the heart of who I really am, regardless of activities and involvements) and I know people perceive that I am becoming even more so. But as I reflect on it, I believe it is just being more selective about the things and people I spend time with. I want to do things and be with people that add value on my journey, and allow me to do the same for them.

I am carefully watching some weeds creeping up on some flowers in a flower bed. I hurt my wrist, after a fall in the flower beds earlier this week, so I have to tend to healing but I know that if I don’t get those weeds removed soon they will choke off the other plants. What are you spending your time on? Are they activities that inspire you and lift your spirits? Take stock of the people you are surrounding yourself with, are they supporting and encouraging you?

Seeing the results you want in your life takes attention, time and daily care. Check in on your “garden”, how’s it doing?

Wishing you abundant peace and growth this week, Deena

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Embracing the questions

A couple of years ago while pondering the persistent question, “what am I going to do with my life”, I finally realized I should stop asking and start living. I laughed and told myself, approaching 70 years of age (not nearly as close to it as I am today), it was time to stop trying to figure that out! Maybe there isn’t an “it” to actually discern in life. Over time, and considerable contemplation, the question morphed into “what am I being called to do, right now – this year or this day?” It’s a minor shift in wording but a huge shift in perspective.

It has felt like a shift to embracing the questions, rather than struggling with them. A fiber artist that I follow shared some thoughts on her own questions and reminded me of a quote by poet, Rainer Marie Rilke, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”

Deanne concluded her own pondering by saying that she thinks we are all “wonderers”, and that she had yet to meet someone who doesn’t ask questions of life. She said, “And we are all a wonder. And that is what life itself is. It is a wonder too. And so now nearly each day I remind myself to ‘Let the mystery be’ and to ‘Love the questions'”.

I couldn’t agree more!

In a movie, “The Gardener”, that I watched this week, the protagonist facing illness and her mortality, begins to open to beauty around her and to seeing life with new eyes. She is mesmerized by a snake that has shed its skin. She gazes on an agave type plant that only blooms once then dies. She mentions to a mysterious teacher that shows up on her journey, that she feels that death looms around her, she questions when the mortal fear stops. He responds, when you are ready for it to.

It’s easy to get caught up in the struggle and miss the mystery unfolding around us each day. If we are ready to release the grip and tight hold on the questions, then perhaps we are able to see things with curiosity instead. We can find wonder and awe in life unfolding around and for us. As I shared some thoughts on the book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, last week, it seems more fitting to be present to what we are called to in each moment. That is what brings peace and contentment in life.

The image I selected for today’s post is a tile of the shell marker pilgrims see on the various Camino paths on “the way” toward Santiago de Compostela. The shell serves as a directional guide letting pilgrims know they are on the right path. For medieval pilgrims, a shell would be a purposeful tool, to drink or eat from. For those of us who follow a Christian path, a shell vessel is often used during the sacrament of baptism, to pour water on the infant or individual being baptized. It is a sign of rebirth and divine protection. I purchased this tile, as well as a sterling shell to wear on a necklace while visiting Santiago de Compostela. They both serve as good reminders to watch for “markers” and continue on “the way” each day.

Wishing you abundant peace, wonder, and awe this week. Deena

Note re the movie The Gardener: before you search for the movie directed by Dabney Day, it was a special online release this week. It was a little bit Devil Wears Prada in the beginning, Hallmark throughout but a few lovely spiritual reflections throughout.

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The practice of peace

Have you found yourself irritated with others, or with life/the world, because events weren’t turning out as you had hoped they would? Maybe it’s more than a hope, but an expectation, that circumstances should be different. We (me!) can stress and worry about situations in life, but frequently find we have little control over it. As a reaction I often retreat, inwardly, or even physically, to my inner being, and home, preferring silence and solitude. My desire is to keep a constant connection with Spirit, throughout the day, focused on the things that really matter instead of the mundane and passing concerns that can consume so much time and energy. Some days are easier than others.

I have to catch myself when the repeated tape of a conversation, or of the behavior of someone else toward me, begins to rewind over and over again. I laughed out loud this morning reading a post by personal development author, life coach, and speaker, Cheryl Richardson, as she described the thoughts going through her mind as she took a shower. She stopped herself and said “Cheryl, come back, there are too many people in this shower with you!” I replied, “Girl, I hear you!” I laughed thinking of the countless times I have been in the same situation.

I have been encouraged in my practice of being in the presence of God, more mindful of Spirit and connection, as an alternative to mindless worry over past or future events, as I have been rereading a book by Brother Lawrence from the 17th century, Practice of the Presence of God. I was encouraged to read this small book in the 1990’s, along with Abandonment to Divine Providence, written in the 18th century, by one of my parish priests. Both have been helpful books on my spiritual journey. Lately, I have been using an updated translation by Ascension Press, which has been much easier than reading the original book I have. The book has gained much popularity after Pope Leo XIV wrote an introduction to a Vatican edition of the book, indicating that this book was one of the books that has shaped his spirituality and awareness of knowing and loving God. Pope Leo has advised that the journey of practicing the presence of God, is an arduous one because we have to renounce all of the other things that seek our attention, so that we can keep our focus centered on God.

And isn’t this the goal of Christian mindfulness, and a practice of centering prayer and contemplation? We desire to turn away from the clamor and noise of the world seeking inner peace and union with the Divine.

Brother Lawrence advises that we turn away from everything that distracts from that union, so that we can be in constant conversation with God. We pause, we turn to and rest in the Divine Presence. Simple but challenging. We seek to empty ourselves of the things of the world, from anything that does not lead to God. Brother Lawrence approached all his duties and responsibilities within the Carmelite monastery in this way, as an opportunity to practice the presence of God.

Just as Brother Lawrence had his tasks to complete, so do we. Practicing the presence of God does not mean we quit work, give up enjoyable hobbies and activities, or retreat to a monastery. I do find it is easier having fewer responsibilities outside of the home, but even those activities become opportunities to serve and be aware of God’s presence as we undergo them and encounter others in the process of doing them. It brings a different perspective to our engagement in them.

While the “practice” Brother Lawrence speaks of reminds me of Ignatian spirituality, finding God in all things and seeking only those things that bring us closer to God, he did not seem to be concerned with guidance from others, except in sacramental confession, or considering consolations and desolations in spirit. He simply returned his gaze to God and to the things that would be pleasing to God, despite any suffering or distraction.

With a similar message, Pope Leo XIV, in his video message to the 50th Summer Youth Conference in Steubenville, Ohio this weekend, encouraged youth to look for peace, for “true and perfect joy”, in the love of God instead of from others, or from social media and other electronics. He pointed to the life of St. Francis, and the peace Francis found, and shared with others, that looked different, and less appealing, to others, until they encountered him. They experienced the peace that he found within, in his relationship with God and a focus on lasting joy and happiness.

I hope that as I continue to practice the presence of God, less concerned with the opinions and actions of others, I will find that same level of peace and joy experienced by Brother Lawrence, Francis, other saints and mystics, and those who have followed them. I pray that this peace is experienced by others who I encounter. It’s a lofty goal to be sure, but one worth remaining committed to.

As always, I wish you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image: a small wall hanging I purchased in Assisi, Italy. Pace e Bene means “peace and all good” or “good peace”.

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Becoming who I am

Earlier this week I listened to a vlog “The Elegant Haiku” and read the accompanying blog by Michael Kroth. In his video he said something that immediately caught my attention. I stopped the video, backed it up and played it again. I wrote it down in my journal and it’s been on my mind ever since.

Michael said: “What we practice becomes who we are.”

His feature article this week was regarding his journey, learning about and writing haiku, as a daily practice. He began in 2019 as a result of attending a workshop by poet, author, and friend of ours Judith Valente (you have seen her name here in this blog many times). It may have been about the same time that I attended a retreat given by Judith at the Monastery and was also introduced to haiku. Michael decided to make it a practice. I have tried multiple times but give up. I judge, criticize, and analyze. (Frankly it surprises me that I continue to write this blog each week.) Michael’s haiku poetry is very good. He and friends even published a book, Framing the Moment; Haiku Conversations, together after sharing their haiku with each other.

Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry, consisting of three lines, in a format of 5-7-5 syllables. I have seen multiple variations or adaptations but most use this format. It sounds simple but I would invite you to look outside, or at an image, and capture the essence of it, or how it makes you feel, using that format. It challenges us to find just the right words to express a feeling or insight. It calls us to slow down, choose carefully and purposefully. It is way to be present and mindful.

In one of Judith’s latest books, How to be a Contemplative (also mentioned by Michael in his blog), she shares her wisdom about slowing down in our hectic, often distracted, lives. If you are challenged to wind down at all, much less write a three-line haiku, I invite you to explore Judith’s book.

In addition to incorporating a practice, or desire to learn something, in our lives so that it becomes more closely aligned with who we are, I believe it also creates some sort of magnetic attraction to bring more of the same to us. Since reading Michael’s post I have seen and read so many compatible posts, poems, and book titles that encourage me to pursue and stay focused on the things that point me in the direction of who I am becoming and what I desire to have more of in my life.

I have a long list of things that I would love to be better at, that feel like they express who I am or who I want to be. So, I must ask myself why I am not pursuing them more enthusiastically – fear of failure, fear that I can’t ever be those things as proficiently as I want to be, that I will be judged…? If there is one gift of rapidly approaching 70 years of age, I have noticed that I am more easily gravitating toward not caring what other people think. But, there are moments. When I sense that feeling of doing something for approval, versus authentic desire, I think I have to grab myself by the shoulders and say “move on, let it go.”

Michael might be surprised to know that I have saved a little stack of his delightful pieces of mail, that he calls Haiku Drops (today’s image of the envelopes, not his poetry), since “meeting him” at a workshop with Judith. I pull them out from time to time if I need to take a peaceful pause during the day. Other times they just make me smile when I open the drawer I have them in, and see them. My point of sharing that is that our desire to learn and share something with others might be just what they need on any given day. So, if it makes you happy, continue to pursue and practice it, and share it with others!

Wishing you endless moments of being really happy with who you are, and who you are becoming, this week! Deena

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A seed is just a seed

This is my favorite time of year in the Illinois Valley. We had late cold and rain this Spring, so it may appear to be a bit behind the last couple of years, but the baby corn, like the field in today’s blog image, are starting to sprout. I just love these little green leaves emerging from the ground. They make my heart happy!

Inside each tiny seed, the embryo of the plant has everything it needs to grow and transform into a mature plant. But each seed remains dormant until it has the right conditions of sun, oxygen, the right temperature and warmth, and moisture to activate and cause the seed to germinate. The seeds have a life force within them, that is dormant, until the right conditions appear to cause growth. (Farmers and scientists, please forgive my overly simplistic explanation.)

Seeing these plants beginning to grow this past week, I reflected again on the spirit, or life force, within all things. This life force is “viriditas”, or “greening power”, coined by St. Hildegard of Bingen, that I mentioned in last week’s blog. My reflection and study led me to review several articles again, especially one by Nameeta Renu, theology scholar and author of numerous articles on consecrated life, “Why St. Hildegards’s spirituality of ‘viriditas’ is so extraordinary”, on a site I follow, Global Sisters Report (see note below on GSR).

Hildegard, Benedictine abbess, mystic, healer, artist and scholar, saw the living power of light, from God, in all of creation. Her art and writings reflected this “greenness” in all things. But Hildegard’s concept of greening power wasn’t a study of ecology. She wrote that the soul within each person is the green life-force of the flesh. If we, as human beings, neglect our “inner greening”, if we lose the “sap of life”, carelessness about the things that are important in life, or if we experience the “drought of our indolence,” our soul power begins to “fade and dry up”.

Today is Holy Trinity Sunday. We reflect on the dynamic Love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We attempt to grasp how that Love is then shared with us. Hildegard would talk about the Holy Spirit as this green “sap” within us. Like trees, the Holy Spirit is the juicy green, moist, creative life within us. Is it alive or dried up?

So a seed is just a seed, or is it? It is pure potential. It is potential waiting for the right conditions to nurture it so that it can develop in a way that it becomes what it was made to be, in the image and likeness of the plant that created the seed in the first place. Or as Hildegard wrote, “Every creature is a glittering, glistening mirror of Divinity”. We were created in the Divine image of God. We are beloved sons and daughters.

So I pause to ask myself this week if I am nurturing and watering that seed within? Am I living to my potential, daring to declare who I am (also a thought from Hildegard)? What else does my spirit need to become fully alive, lush and green? I hope my thoughts prompt you to consider the same.

Wishing you a week, and a new month, that is thriving, vibrant and full of growth! Deena

Note: Global Sisters Report is an independent, nonprofit source of news and information about Catholic sisters and the critical issues facing the people they serve. They send daily email updates or you can visit their site, Global Sisters Report. You can also find a direct link on National Catholic Reporter.

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Spiritus Sanctus

Most of us have an image of God the Father that we grew up with, for some, a kindly grandfather, and for others, a stern judge. Jesus is even easier to imagine because of countless gospel stories, movies or even series, like The Chosen. But as soon as we think we understand either one of them, we are wrong. Our mental depictions are limited and cannot possibly grasp the entirety of who God is and the Love poured out for us. So we cling to ideas that are helpful or move us in some way. Describing the Holy Spirit is even more difficult. I once heard a priest admit that preaching on Holy Trinity Sunday is one of the more challenging theological concepts to preach on.

The Church teaches us that we only come to know and believe in Jesus because of the Holy Spirit. The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that the Holy Spirit is the soul of the Mystical Body of Christ (i.e., the Church, each of us as believers). The Catechism says that the Holy Spirit is “the principle of every vital and truly saving action in each part of the Body” (CCC 798)

But if you are like me, that is too lofty. I need images, analogies, music and poetry to help me grasp more difficult constructs. Each year on Pentecost Sunday, which we celebrate today, I find myself in a familiar place, with a deep desire to know and understand the Holy Spirit better, asking the Spirit to help me grow in knowledge and wisdom.

I would like to share some of the thoughts, shared in prayer or written word, that I have found helpful for this Solemnity in the Church. I can’t promise that they will guide you to a better understanding of the Holy Spirit. I believe we have to ask and pray for the gifts of wisdom, understanding, knowledge and counsel. But maybe, just as Jesus entered the locked upper room in which the apostles, and the women close to him waited and prayed, the door will be unlocked and we will emerge with a bit more peace, faith and courage to see where and how we are being guided in life.

St Augustine’s Holy Spirit Prayer: Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy. Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy…

Pentecost Prayer from Days of the Lord for the Easter Season: “Open your hearts to the breath of God, his life is grafted to the souls that he touches; May a new people rise from the waters over which hovers the Spirit of your baptism! Let us open our hearts to the breath of God, for he breathes in our mouths, more than we do ourselves!

St. Hildegard’s writing on the Holy Spirit and viriditas, or “greening power.” For Hildegard, the Holy Spirit is the divine life-force that breathes into the universe. It is the ultimate source of energy which brings spiritual and physical health, creativity, and helps us as spiritual beings grow and flourish. Looking at her art, or listening to her chants, help me as I try to connect with this life-force. You can listen to her beautiful Spiritus Sanctus chant as sung by the Benedictine Nuns of the Abbey of St. Hildegard by clicking here.

St. Teresa of Avila (another of my favorite women wisdom guides) said that the Holy Spirit is the “living water” that helps satisfy our thirst and longing for God, the “interior master” that teaches us, guiding our prayer and helping to transform our will to align with God’s.

Litany of the Holy Spirit: “ray of heavenly light, author of all good, source of heavenly water, consuming fire…Holy Spirit, inflame us with the flame of your love…teach us to pray well.”

Pope Leo XIV, Angelus Address today, May 24, said that the Holy Spirit acts like a “mighty wind” to open doors that send us out into the world. He described three doors that the Spirit helps us open. First, faith in God himself, who grants faith and understanding in holy Scripture, which allows us to have a personal encounter with Jesus. I reflect on my experience with Lectio Divina and Imaginative Prayer, which help me hear and respond to Jesus. Second, Pope Leo said that the Church helps us with our fears and anxieties in the face of today’s challenges in the world. It invites us to be open, hospitable and loving to others in the world. Finally, the third door that the Holy Spirit open is the “the door of our heart, helping us to overcome resistance, selfishness, mistrust and prejudice, while enabling us to live as children of God and brothers and sisters to one another. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, fraternity is born among individuals, groups and peoples of the Earth, and all speak the same language of love, which unites and brings harmony despite our differences.”

This week I pray that the Spirit descend upon all of us, like dew in the early morning, refreshing our spirits and souls, helping us to grow in wisdom and understanding. I pray that the doors of fear and worry to be thrown open and replaced with a spirit of trust in God’s abundant love for each of us. I pray that the Spirit, in each of us, help us to be a people of love and care, each with a spirit that cares for the common good and well-being of our neighbors and our planet.

Come Holy Spirit, Come!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s Image: a photo taken in the Vatican of a dove with an olive branch.

The sacred now

This week has been a week of memories yet poignant reminders to appreciate the gift of each present moment.

I visited the cemetery on Saturday to place my annual geraniums on the gravesites of my parents and grandparents. As I trimmed away the taller grasses close to the tombstones, where the caretaker had not mowed, I thought of past Mother’s Days. I wished that this weekend’s could be different. I had my silent conversations regarding all the recent family activities and updates, especially Genevieve’s (my niece Maureen’s daughter) First Communion on Sunday. My mother would be delighted to witness this special event.

Last Sunday, returning from the aromatherapy conference I attended, I learned that a woman, very dear to me, one of our daily “morning Mass ladies” and a neighborhood mom while I was growing up, suffered a massive stroke and remains in hospice care while her family waits for her to let go of her physical body (at the time of this writing, but our dear friend passed peacefully late Saturday evening). The week prior, she advised me that our routine Wednesday morning breakfast was back in place, paused during Lent and a few other activities, and asked me if I wanted to join them. I replied that I was busy getting ready for the conference and was trying to get things done before the four days of driving back and forth to the venue. She smiled and said, “Ok, next week then!”

There was no “next week” outing this week. I have asked myself over and over if that hour would have impacted my ability to be ready to go to the conference. The answer is always no, I would have gotten things done regardless.

Thursday I was shocked to hear of the death of a high school friend, losing her long battle with cancer. At one of our past reunions, in remission and positive as she always was, she honestly remarked that each day is a gift and that she doesn’t take any day for granted. I am confident she lived that way. I always enjoyed her family updates on social media, especially the joy she experienced in her grandchildren.

I am so sad for the families of each of those women, facing a Mother’s Day different than last year. I am absolutely confident that both of them will be welcomed into a life free of pain and discomfort, experiencing the Love and Light that the rest of us hope one day to dwell in. Yet in the joy of contemplating their eternal homecoming, there is sadness and loss for those left behind. For those of us who have lost our moms, we know the melancholy that dwells within as we see others celebrating. It changes with time, but it doesn’t go away.

For those of you who still have your mothers, treasure the time you have, even with the minor disagreements. You are probably more like them than you might care to think about. Be independent and be your own person, but be kind.

For those of you who are mothers, grandmothers, or stepmothers, enjoy your time with your families. Be grateful that you have another day to watch your loved ones step out into lives of their own. Whether you agree or disagree, you likely helped them gain the confidence to try new things. Be proud of that!

It seems so cliche to say that each moment is sacred and that we have to treasure the “here and now”. Some weeks it feels more true than others. I hope that we honor the memories of yesterday that we enjoyed, or learned from. I also hope we inhabit each moment of today as if it might be our last, turning our current moments into living memories.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that are mothers, stepmothers, and grandmothers!

Until next week, wishing you abundant love and peace. Deena

Image: A canvas wall banner in the unique shop that I did social media work for last Fall and early Winter. It’s a lovely reminder to be, know and remember the strong women in our lives.