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The gift of water

I have been on many amazing vacations and business trips that have taken me to beautiful locations and scenery. It would be difficult to select one from them. But if I had to pin down a reason that some rank higher than others, it might be because of water. Coronado Island, CA and the Pacific Ocean. Towns along Lake Michigan on the Michigan side. Florida’s Gulf Coast. Lakeside homes. The sea at Nettuno, Italy.

Traveling the Inside Passage from Vancouver, British Columbia up to ports such as Ketchikan, Alaska is definitely on the top 5 list. I was reminded of this trip this week seeing posts of a similar cruise being taken by a former colleague and his wife, especially Friday as they also journeyed the Inside Passage. Suddenly I was transported to the top of my cruise ship.

Mom and I were settling in our cabin, as were our traveling companions, Pat and Laurie, in the cabin next door. We had a balcony but as I looked outside and saw the trees and water, I needed to see more. I told her I was going to run up to the top deck to explore. The trees felt close enough to touch and I wanted to experience more of it. Many others were coming up to the top deck as well. But no one was talking out loud, everyone was whispering. Reverent of the landscape. It was as if we would break the scene if we spoke aloud. I suddenly had tears in my eyes and was captivated by the magnificent beauty and the silence. The large cruise ship moved slowly. You could hear the water beneath us. I saw trees sway and a small waterfall here and there. It was breathtaking! The phrase “God’s country” came to mind.

The slow, relaxed pace of a vacation, or the good sense to be mindful of a stunning location, help us experience the beauty of our world. A glimpse of a deer in a backyard. Geese or ducks slowly navigating on the water. An eagle overhead. The hummingbirds at my purple flowers this week. All moments that say “slow down, take it in, it may be gone in a moment.” When we allow ourselves to slow down and be conscious, we experience that moment with a heightened sense of presence, focus and intentionality.

We are currently in the “Season of Creation”, an annual global celebration to care for the Earth, which runs from September 1 through October 4, ending on the Feast of St. Francis. First proposed by the Eastern Orthodox Church, it was welcomed into the Catholic Church by Pope Francis and has been promoted by the Laudato Si Movement. The Season of Creation is “a time to renew our relationship with our Creator and all creation through celebration, conversion, and commitment together. During the Season of Creation, we join our sisters and brothers in the ecumenical family in prayer and action for our common home.” The theme for this year is Living Water. The vision drawn from the scripture passage of Ezekiel 47: 1-12, encourages us to look at the ways we use water and to consider our human responsibility to care for it and ensure fair and equitable access to clean water to all the citizens of our world.

When you visit the ocean or a large lake it seems impossible to imagine that 2.1 billion people in the world lack access to clean, safely managed drinking water. Pope Leo XIV’s September prayer invites us to pray for the resource of water, to care for it, and for equal access to water for all. I have added a YouTube link to the prayer below.

We are invited to show our concern for water, by fixing pipe leaks, taking shorter showers, not running water when not in use (comment from me, for me, not keeping the water running while the toothbrush is in my mouth and not under the water!) and avoiding the pollution of drains and rivers. I can reflect on the inconvenience of not having water when a city pipe bursts or hydrants are being cleaned. I have to wait a bit, but I certainly don’t have to walk to fill a bucket to bring home for use for the day.

Fr. Cristóbal Fones, International Director of the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network, reminds us, in a press release, that water is one of the great essentials of life. The Pope’s September prayer intention “invites us to think deeply about creation, to safeguard it, and to look with God’s eyes on those who today have to walk for miles to obtain a bit of clean water, and to convert what we see into concrete actions that demonstrate moderation, care, and solidarity.” “No one should live without water, and no one should die because they lack water.”

Watch the short 4-minute video as Pope Leo asks us to pray for “The Care of Water” here.

This week, or perhaps continuing through the remainder of September until the Feast of St. Francis, I invite you to be mindful of your use of water, appreciating the gift of choosing hot or cold running water, or savoring a refreshing glass after coming in from the heat.

Wishing you a week of gratitude and abundance, Deena

Images: A side view from top deck of cruise ship moving through the Inside Passage.

Another below, with passengers whose faces could be seen removed, looking straight ahead through the Passage.

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It’s a delicate balance

Turning 70 can definitely have an impact on your perspective in life.

It has given me the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for the friendships I have and the ability to spend more time with and appreciating them. I have, for the most part, everything I need and have decided I want to simplify in many areas of life. I can also relax the longing to figure out “what I want to do with my life”.

It makes each day seem even more precious.

I have been impacted, as so many of you have, by the images from Nepal. People who were sitting on a bus at the border crossing, or walking in the streets of their village, swept away by the flash flooding. Fortunately, there are stories of survival but for so many the loss is inconceivable. Friday night we also learned, in our Illinois Valley area, of the tragic loss of a young boy in a car accident, with the mother and brother surviving. Again, lives changed in an instant.

Regardless of our age or situation, each day is a gift.

This morning I read an article by a needlework artist who shared some thoughts after attending a Vince Gill concert. She’s a big fan so is aware of the goals he has, such as 50 years into his career, taking on a project to create 12 extended play releases. One might ask Gill, why not relax and begin to take it easy? She wrote that when Gill was questioned about it, he replied that “he doesn’t have as many years left to be creative — so it matters to him more than ever.  And then he said he’s having the time of his life, just having a ball with it.” She used his story as an analogy, encouraging us to “learn a new stitch” or “start a new canvas” or “become the artist you’ve always wanted to be”.

I have always had the tendency to put off things – I can’t do this until … one more class, one more book, one more technique, etc “before I am ready”. My friend Kate taught a class this week, The One More Thing Trap, that encouraged us to look at all the “one more things” we tell ourselves that have to happen before we can be the person we want to be. When we do that we lose the ability to feel present and connected to where we are right now. Note: you can still access the replay to this free class by registering for Kate’s class here.

My cross stitch, and other art projects, have become a beautiful metaphor for living life. They have become a living reflection of my journey. Taking life more slowly and deliberately. Living and acting with intention. Trying bold new projects. Simply having fun. Each day is like a project, taking it one stitch at a time.

Regardless of your age, 30 or 80, my wish is that this week you enjoy the moments as they come along. Be present. Be adventuresome. Savor them.

Wishing you abundant joy, Deena

Today’s image: I noticed a dragonfly on my “purple showers” the other day. He was simply sitting on to the edge of the leaf. Moving with the wind as it swayed. I wondered if he was stuck. After several minutes, he flew away. He reminded me to land lightly, settle softly, and enjoy the moment.

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Grateful anyway

I received Kate Bowler’s newsletter on August 12 titled “Why I’m Anti-Gratitude” and I have been on a gratitude practice recovery journey since. Now, first of all, if you have visited this blog before you know I am a fan of Kate Bowler. She’s a wonderful author, podcaster, speaker and professor at Duke University. I have her books and listen to her podcasts. So, this likely won’t change my overall opinion of Kate’s work. She began her newsletter sharing that she began a gratitude practice when she was recovering from a serious illness (Kate is a cancer survivor), and that it helped. But, she went on to say that the wellness industry has turned gratitude into a guaranteed cure for suffering and a “strategy for controlling life and our emotions. Another optimization project we can fail (or succeed!) at.” Simple, she suggests, write 3 blessings a day and you’ll never be sad again, concluding that it’s simply not true. She states that it has become a way to refuse that life is BOTH beautiful and hard.

Ok, I get that.

I paused. I questioned whether my daily practice was making a difference. I judged my current ongoing list of gratitude bullets (on that particular day my list was up to #1440) that I began after reading another author, Mary deTurris Poust’s practice of numbering and keeping the gratitude list going as a way to acknowledge the countless blessings in our lives. I wanted to go to Kate’s Substack account and comment that I don’t think most of us see gratitude simplistically, as a magic bullet for happiness. Instead I considered the study she quoted, that there wasn’t a positive benefit in those participants who journaled gratitude over those who did not. She teaches at Duke after all!

But it just didn’t settle with me. I couldn’t let it go. I believe being grateful does make a difference in our outlook and perspective in life.

Fortunately at the same time, one of the Facebook groups I am part of, facilitated by my Young Living Essential Oils manager organization and Brenda Schuler, our “Diamond” leader, began a 10-day Gratitude Reset Experience. Each day she has posted the benefits of practicing gratitude and rewiring our brains to focus on positive events and circumstances in our lives.

Our energy matches what we focus on. I believe this.

On July 12 Br. David Steindl-Rast turned 100 years old. He has long been a voice, known as the “Grandfather of Gratitude, for the transformative power of gratitude. His TED talk in 2013 tells us that it isn’t that happy people are grateful but rather grateful people that are happier. His 2017 YouTube video, A Grateful Day, has been one of my favorite reminders of the gift of each day. As founder of Grateful Living, Br. David and his organization, are committed to sharing the benefits, and practice, of gratefulness and the impact it can have on our lives and our world.

Dr. Arthur Brooks, a well-known author and podcaster, recently shared his 5 step process toward living a more grateful life. Also a professor (Vanderbilt University), Dr. Brooks says we are living in a “happiness crisis”. He writes and speaks extensively about finding happiness and meaning in today’s world by incorporating simple practices and attitudes into our daily way of thinking and being.

There are countless others. As I reminded myself of these respected teachers and scholars, I reflected that they aren’t suggesting we ignore the hardships in life. They aren’t saying do “this…” and your life will turn around and all difficulties will disappear. But I do believe they are suggesting that we are able to cope with and move through those times much easier when we have a foundation of gratitude for the blessings in our lives.

My faith does this as well. God doesn’t promise a life that is free from any worry or concern. However, I believe that I will be sustained during them. I was reassured as we prayed today’s Collect for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time: “O God, who have prepared for those who love you good things which no eye can see, fill our hearts, we pray, with the warmth of your love, so that, loving you in all things and above all things, we may attain your promises, which surpass every human desire.”

Today’s image is a picture of little Bela on the day he found me. While the pain of losing him this past February remains intense, I am grateful for the years we had together and all the joy and laughter he brought into my life.

Difficult and challenging moments will show up, that’s a given.

Be grateful anyway. Peace, Deena

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Crowding out the chaos

My brother and I own the duplex that I live in. We have a tenant renting the other side. I have several plants in the flower beds on that side of the building but I have not planted as many as I have on my side and I don’t take the time to care for it as well as mine. For the past couple of years the weeds have been atrocious. I have tried rock, heavy mulch (lots and lots of heavy mulch!), landscape paper, but the soil is just lousy. The weeds seem to thrive in it. I have been putting off getting over on that side to clear the weeds again. Friday I decided I needed to get out there again, but I had a new idea. I purchased some ground cover, as I have in many areas of my flower beds, and planted to see if it will eventually grow and crowd out the weeds. I only completed a small section and I really wanted different ground cover than the ones I found, but it’s a start!

Planting the new ground cover is fresh on my mind this morning as I reflected on the Gospel reading for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Matthew’s second accounting of the storm at sea has the apostles in the boat, alone without Jesus, as a storm brews and overwhelms them. In this version, they see Jesus in the distance as he walks toward them on the water. We are all familiar with Peter calling out to Jesus, Peter walking out to him on the water, but then begins to sink as he takes his eyes off Jesus. Our pastor, Fr. Paul Carlson, shared an insightful homily of the two storm versions in Matthew’s gospel and the need to keep our focus on Jesus as we navigate the storms and turbulent waters of this world. He reminded us that as followers of Jesus, “we need to be able to walk on the difficult seas [in life], but not be swallowed up by them.”

It’s not easy some days. The noise and turbulence of the world can overwhelm us just as the sea did to the apostles in the gospel. The weeds can take over and crowd out the good plants, in our spirit and soul, unless we replace the weeds with better plants. We need to blanket the soil of our minds and hearts with quiet time of prayer, reflection, and soul time with God. We are able to keep our eyes on Jesus, and less on the world, by who and what we devote our attention to.

I’m not sure if it’s age, or wisdom, but I find myself cherishing the quiet, alone time at home, or at church, more than I ever have in past years. Whether reading, listening to podcasts, gardening, stitching and reflecting, or simply in quiet prayer, it’s easier to be at peace. Perhaps it isn’t what I am turning toward but what I am turning away from. Likely, it’s a combination of both. Regardless, life is more serene and tranquil when I do so.

At this point in my writing journey of publishing this blog every Sunday for over three years, I have to check titles to make sure I haven’t used it before. This by itself is a task in creativity. I searched and found a previous post titled, “Clearing the Weeds”. I reread it and was reminded of a somatic technique called SNAP that author, and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, developed. In the blog I share the meaning of the acronym, and briefly how to use the technique, to manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. I had forgotten about it, and in addition to prayer and contemplation, this simple technique is a great way to recenter in moments of stress. You can click here to read that post:https://deenapavinato.com/2025/06/22/clearing-the-weeds/.

This week I encourage you to find ways, that are helpful to you, when you need to clear the weeds in your own inner landscape. Find ways to be still. Then check in and see if it makes a difference in your day and your outlook.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s image: One of the small areas of pachysandra, a ground cover (Japanese Spurge), in my flower beds, that my friend Kathy and I fell in love with at Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and have been adding to our flower beds this year. It’s growing nicely and next year I will be sure to add more to both sides of the duplex.

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Calming the mind

Last weekend was the most delicious pause to stitch and learn from designers, and those with a presence, in the stitching world. It was filled with lots of laughs and mutual support, which I am finding to be the hallmark of the stitching community. Last September I saw a Halloween chart and decided I was going to learn to cross stitch. I had never purchased a piece of fabric or floss for stitching. I have become obsessed with my new hobby. I love learning tips and tricks, of course. But more than anything else I love hearing the journeys of stitchers and creators that I follow. The husband and wife team of Artsy Housewife, Gigi the designer, delight me with their stitching and stories. Stephanie, a competent designer and owner of Lindy Stitches (an online store for all things stitching), shared a self-deprecating video of her 10 biggest design flops this week, not to solicit support or sales, but to share her thoughts for those who might be trying their hand at designing charts. As usual, she had me laughing! I am constantly amazed at the wisdom of Jacob de Graaf, a designer from the Netherlands, who is an expert on antique samplers. His own designs are influenced by Quaker samplers and designs from the Netherlands and Scandinavia. I have selected two (what am I thinking?!) designs for my August birthday stitch and as part of a stitch along he will be leading. The list of designers, makers, and regular stitchers like me, who share their insights, journeys and projects, that I watch and learn from is endless.

But, the best part of stitching is the quiet, steady, peaceful flow state I enter each and every night as I work on projects. Other concerns, or mindless chatter, fall into the background. Each stitch becomes a tiny win for the day. They are little victories that release feel good hormones like dopamine. Knitting and crocheting do the same for those engaging in those crafts, also said to support emotional regulation and good brain chemistry. As our brains lock into the single task at hand, the brain gets focused and feels safe. I am changing and growing with each project I stitch, not only in confidence but also a sense of who I am as a person. I began learning about the neurological reactions of crafting, journaling and drawing, and the impact on our overall well-being, when I began experimenting with and studying neurographic art last year. By focusing on the process of drawing simple lines and curves, we calm down and relieve stress. This alone can help us find solutions to issues we might be dealing with.

My prayer and contemplative practice has slowed down and become more centered as well. It has become easier to quiet the mind when it is racing. I can pray as I stitch – each stitch, each breath, clear a space to listen more attentively.

Another practice I was introduced to this summer was helpful as well. As I have shared, and written, I am a Benedictine Oblate. Generally each day, besides praying the psalms, I try to read The Rule of St. Benedict, which guides our daily living in the principles of stability, mindful work, and hospitality to others (welcoming the Christ in all persons). The Rule is broken down into small nuggets, or chapters, for each day of the year. There are many excellent commentaries on The Rule, which studying as an Oblate, help us find relevance for living in the modern world.

I was gifted a version of The Rule, “Suscipe me, Domine” compiled by a men’s monastic community in Norcia, Italy. I read one of the reflections on “Unceasing Prayer in the Rule of St. Benedict” that has significantly transformed my prayer life. Many of us are familiar with the “Jesus Prayer” prayed by the Desert Fathers and early Christian monks as a way to practice continuous prayer. It is certainly a version that I could have chosen. The reflection stated that St. John Cassian, who had a significant impact on St. Benedict’s writing of The Rule, advocates one prayer, “an all-purpose invocation” that can and should be prayed by monastics at all times, as transition from personal prayer to communal prayer, for those in an abbey or monastery. Cassian’s recommended verse was “O God, come to my assistance. Lord, make haste to help me.” This is a typical verse recited, or chanted, as the opening line for specific “hours” of prayer, such as Morning and Evening Prayer, in the Liturgy of the Hours. I began using this verse at various times of the day – when I sat down to pray but didn’t want to pray standard prayers or intercessory prayers, when my mind was racing with a concern that I wanted to quiet, during weekly Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and at 3 or 4 a.m. when I wake and sense that my mind wants to begin to spin out of control. Breathing slowly and repeating this simple prayer has been powerful! I would encourage anyone with “monkey mind” to give it a try. I’d love to hear your experience after practicing it awhile.

Lastly, finding ways to slow down and tune into our breath can be an amazingly simple practice to bring calm into your day. Whether stitching, praying a simple mantra, or sitting quietly in a chair paying attention to the breath, I am confident you will introduce more moments of peace into your day.

If you would like to learn more about breath practice, my friend Kate Brown, and her teacher, Valerie Sorrentino, will be offering a free live Zoom experience this week, Room To Breath, on Thursday, July 30th at 6 p.m. CT. You do not have to have previous breath work experience to participate. You will learn more about intentional breathing and two simple practices from Valerie’s program. I hope you will join me there! I will provide the link below (for those on social media, you may have to click the link to my website to access it).

I wish you a week that is steady, calm and full of peaceful moments, Deena

Click here for link to Room To Breathe

Today’s image: One of my 9-month patriotic stitch alongs, Remember the Ladies as part of America the Beautiful, by designer, Teresa Kogut.

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Embracing the questions

A couple of years ago while pondering the persistent question, “what am I going to do with my life”, I finally realized I should stop asking and start living. I laughed and told myself, approaching 70 years of age (not nearly as close to it as I am today), it was time to stop trying to figure that out! Maybe there isn’t an “it” to actually discern in life. Over time, and considerable contemplation, the question morphed into “what am I being called to do, right now – this year or this day?” It’s a minor shift in wording but a huge shift in perspective.

It has felt like a shift to embracing the questions, rather than struggling with them. A fiber artist that I follow shared some thoughts on her own questions and reminded me of a quote by poet, Rainer Marie Rilke, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”

Deanne concluded her own pondering by saying that she thinks we are all “wonderers”, and that she had yet to meet someone who doesn’t ask questions of life. She said, “And we are all a wonder. And that is what life itself is. It is a wonder too. And so now nearly each day I remind myself to ‘Let the mystery be’ and to ‘Love the questions'”.

I couldn’t agree more!

In a movie, “The Gardener”, that I watched this week, the protagonist facing illness and her mortality, begins to open to beauty around her and to seeing life with new eyes. She is mesmerized by a snake that has shed its skin. She gazes on an agave type plant that only blooms once then dies. She mentions to a mysterious teacher that shows up on her journey, that she feels that death looms around her, she questions when the mortal fear stops. He responds, when you are ready for it to.

It’s easy to get caught up in the struggle and miss the mystery unfolding around us each day. If we are ready to release the grip and tight hold on the questions, then perhaps we are able to see things with curiosity instead. We can find wonder and awe in life unfolding around and for us. As I shared some thoughts on the book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, last week, it seems more fitting to be present to what we are called to in each moment. That is what brings peace and contentment in life.

The image I selected for today’s post is a tile of the shell marker pilgrims see on the various Camino paths on “the way” toward Santiago de Compostela. The shell serves as a directional guide letting pilgrims know they are on the right path. For medieval pilgrims, a shell would be a purposeful tool, to drink or eat from. For those of us who follow a Christian path, a shell vessel is often used during the sacrament of baptism, to pour water on the infant or individual being baptized. It is a sign of rebirth and divine protection. I purchased this tile, as well as a sterling shell to wear on a necklace while visiting Santiago de Compostela. They both serve as good reminders to watch for “markers” and continue on “the way” each day.

Wishing you abundant peace, wonder, and awe this week. Deena

Note re the movie The Gardener: before you search for the movie directed by Dabney Day, it was a special online release this week. It was a little bit Devil Wears Prada in the beginning, Hallmark throughout but a few lovely spiritual reflections throughout.

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The practice of peace

Have you found yourself irritated with others, or with life/the world, because events weren’t turning out as you had hoped they would? Maybe it’s more than a hope, but an expectation, that circumstances should be different. We (me!) can stress and worry about situations in life, but frequently find we have little control over it. As a reaction I often retreat, inwardly, or even physically, to my inner being, and home, preferring silence and solitude. My desire is to keep a constant connection with Spirit, throughout the day, focused on the things that really matter instead of the mundane and passing concerns that can consume so much time and energy. Some days are easier than others.

I have to catch myself when the repeated tape of a conversation, or of the behavior of someone else toward me, begins to rewind over and over again. I laughed out loud this morning reading a post by personal development author, life coach, and speaker, Cheryl Richardson, as she described the thoughts going through her mind as she took a shower. She stopped herself and said “Cheryl, come back, there are too many people in this shower with you!” I replied, “Girl, I hear you!” I laughed thinking of the countless times I have been in the same situation.

I have been encouraged in my practice of being in the presence of God, more mindful of Spirit and connection, as an alternative to mindless worry over past or future events, as I have been rereading a book by Brother Lawrence from the 17th century, Practice of the Presence of God. I was encouraged to read this small book in the 1990’s, along with Abandonment to Divine Providence, written in the 18th century, by one of my parish priests. Both have been helpful books on my spiritual journey. Lately, I have been using an updated translation by Ascension Press, which has been much easier than reading the original book I have. The book has gained much popularity after Pope Leo XIV wrote an introduction to a Vatican edition of the book, indicating that this book was one of the books that has shaped his spirituality and awareness of knowing and loving God. Pope Leo has advised that the journey of practicing the presence of God, is an arduous one because we have to renounce all of the other things that seek our attention, so that we can keep our focus centered on God.

And isn’t this the goal of Christian mindfulness, and a practice of centering prayer and contemplation? We desire to turn away from the clamor and noise of the world seeking inner peace and union with the Divine.

Brother Lawrence advises that we turn away from everything that distracts from that union, so that we can be in constant conversation with God. We pause, we turn to and rest in the Divine Presence. Simple but challenging. We seek to empty ourselves of the things of the world, from anything that does not lead to God. Brother Lawrence approached all his duties and responsibilities within the Carmelite monastery in this way, as an opportunity to practice the presence of God.

Just as Brother Lawrence had his tasks to complete, so do we. Practicing the presence of God does not mean we quit work, give up enjoyable hobbies and activities, or retreat to a monastery. I do find it is easier having fewer responsibilities outside of the home, but even those activities become opportunities to serve and be aware of God’s presence as we undergo them and encounter others in the process of doing them. It brings a different perspective to our engagement in them.

While the “practice” Brother Lawrence speaks of reminds me of Ignatian spirituality, finding God in all things and seeking only those things that bring us closer to God, he did not seem to be concerned with guidance from others, except in sacramental confession, or considering consolations and desolations in spirit. He simply returned his gaze to God and to the things that would be pleasing to God, despite any suffering or distraction.

With a similar message, Pope Leo XIV, in his video message to the 50th Summer Youth Conference in Steubenville, Ohio this weekend, encouraged youth to look for peace, for “true and perfect joy”, in the love of God instead of from others, or from social media and other electronics. He pointed to the life of St. Francis, and the peace Francis found, and shared with others, that looked different, and less appealing, to others, until they encountered him. They experienced the peace that he found within, in his relationship with God and a focus on lasting joy and happiness.

I hope that as I continue to practice the presence of God, less concerned with the opinions and actions of others, I will find that same level of peace and joy experienced by Brother Lawrence, Francis, other saints and mystics, and those who have followed them. I pray that this peace is experienced by others who I encounter. It’s a lofty goal to be sure, but one worth remaining committed to.

As always, I wish you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image: a small wall hanging I purchased in Assisi, Italy. Pace e Bene means “peace and all good” or “good peace”.

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Becoming who I am

Earlier this week I listened to a vlog “The Elegant Haiku” and read the accompanying blog by Michael Kroth. In his video he said something that immediately caught my attention. I stopped the video, backed it up and played it again. I wrote it down in my journal and it’s been on my mind ever since.

Michael said: “What we practice becomes who we are.”

His feature article this week was regarding his journey, learning about and writing haiku, as a daily practice. He began in 2019 as a result of attending a workshop by poet, author, and friend of ours Judith Valente (you have seen her name here in this blog many times). It may have been about the same time that I attended a retreat given by Judith at the Monastery and was also introduced to haiku. Michael decided to make it a practice. I have tried multiple times but give up. I judge, criticize, and analyze. (Frankly it surprises me that I continue to write this blog each week.) Michael’s haiku poetry is very good. He and friends even published a book, Framing the Moment; Haiku Conversations, together after sharing their haiku with each other.

Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry, consisting of three lines, in a format of 5-7-5 syllables. I have seen multiple variations or adaptations but most use this format. It sounds simple but I would invite you to look outside, or at an image, and capture the essence of it, or how it makes you feel, using that format. It challenges us to find just the right words to express a feeling or insight. It calls us to slow down, choose carefully and purposefully. It is way to be present and mindful.

In one of Judith’s latest books, How to be a Contemplative (also mentioned by Michael in his blog), she shares her wisdom about slowing down in our hectic, often distracted, lives. If you are challenged to wind down at all, much less write a three-line haiku, I invite you to explore Judith’s book.

In addition to incorporating a practice, or desire to learn something, in our lives so that it becomes more closely aligned with who we are, I believe it also creates some sort of magnetic attraction to bring more of the same to us. Since reading Michael’s post I have seen and read so many compatible posts, poems, and book titles that encourage me to pursue and stay focused on the things that point me in the direction of who I am becoming and what I desire to have more of in my life.

I have a long list of things that I would love to be better at, that feel like they express who I am or who I want to be. So, I must ask myself why I am not pursuing them more enthusiastically – fear of failure, fear that I can’t ever be those things as proficiently as I want to be, that I will be judged…? If there is one gift of rapidly approaching 70 years of age, I have noticed that I am more easily gravitating toward not caring what other people think. But, there are moments. When I sense that feeling of doing something for approval, versus authentic desire, I think I have to grab myself by the shoulders and say “move on, let it go.”

Michael might be surprised to know that I have saved a little stack of his delightful pieces of mail, that he calls Haiku Drops (today’s image of the envelopes, not his poetry), since “meeting him” at a workshop with Judith. I pull them out from time to time if I need to take a peaceful pause during the day. Other times they just make me smile when I open the drawer I have them in, and see them. My point of sharing that is that our desire to learn and share something with others might be just what they need on any given day. So, if it makes you happy, continue to pursue and practice it, and share it with others!

Wishing you endless moments of being really happy with who you are, and who you are becoming, this week! Deena

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Choosing joy

This weekend I am participating in a virtual cross-stitch event. This is my second virtual event, hosted Lindy Stitches, and I am hooked! It includes classes, talks, virtual rooms to join to stitch together and chat, and of course, a shopping area.

I began stitching last Fall, with a free Halloween chart I have never completed. But I fell in love and wanted to learn more, so I began researching, watching YouTube videos (stitching video updates are called Flosstubes), immersed myself in the language (yes, there really is a whole lingo that tells people what you are doing and what stage of the process you are in with a project) and began buying designs, and fabrics, created by more notable names in the stitching world. I have finished some small pillows and I probably have 6 current projects in process (called WIPs) at the moment and a created a whole system of organizing the paper charts that I purchased and will begin stitching one of these days. I have a daily Book of Days that journals my stitching, purchases and wish lists. I won’t begin to tell you how many downloaded PDF, digital, files I have saved! Right now there are lots of patriotic charts available for America’s Semiquincentennial, so many of us are working on those along with other projects. I think I have three started at the moment! Yes, I got passionate about stitching! Every single day includes something related to stitching.

Saturday, listening to a “meet and greet” session with Jacob de Graf, designer and owner of Modern Folk Embroidery, and an expert in a variety of quaker, traditional, period and Frisian samplers, I heard the most insightful advice that I have been reflecting on since hearing it. While Jacob offered the advice to stitchers, I thought it is was wise counsel for us as we journey through life.

Stephanie, of Lindy Stitches, asked Jacob what advice he had for stitchers. He quickly said (and will discuss further in his class on Sunday, which I am very excited about), “don’t feel bad about your stitching, you are doing fine!” His suggestion is not compare our stitching to other stitchers or to work we have seen online. He adamantly told us not to apologize for our work, for errors we make, but to be happy with what we are doing. As a new stitcher, constantly judging the speed at which I am stitching compared to others in Facebook groups that seem to produce finished projects overnight, his perspective was encouraging. He said the important thing to ask is whether we had fun stitching and whether working on our projects is bringing us joy. He concluded by saying that if anyone attempts to make us feel bad about our work, then they really aren’t our friend, so move on and keep stitching!

I can think of countless times this week I judged my efforts, not just in stitching or other creative projects, or endlessly berated myself for making a mistake, saying something I wished I hadn’t, or for not accomplishing a task the way that I think someone else has.

Stitching, drawing or journaling, making cards, or even, gardening are things that I do to relax and that bring me joy. Jacob’s sage advice reminds me to keep my focus there. Research tells us that creative projects can reduce stress (I still have to share some thoughts from my talk on neurographic art!), which is why I continue to make time for these things each day.

Why then would I diminish the benefit of those endeavors by judging my work or comparing it to others?

Society and social media brainwash us to do so, for sure. But those of us who have sought to find our personal worth and value in the things we do, or produce, have a history of that behavior to alter and replace. I think it is time to turn that thinking around. It is time to simply find joy in the creative acts we participate in each day, whether it is drawing, stitching or other needlework, arranging flowers or making a meal. Add a garnish, make it over the top even if no one sees it. Share it with friends, real friends who support you. The image I chose for today is an art journal page I created in a class last year. It has been the cover for my Creative Well-Being page on Facebook, a page to encourage others to express themselves in creative practices.

Wishing you abundant joy in all you do this week. I hope some of it will be creative! Deena

The sacred now

This week has been a week of memories yet poignant reminders to appreciate the gift of each present moment.

I visited the cemetery on Saturday to place my annual geraniums on the gravesites of my parents and grandparents. As I trimmed away the taller grasses close to the tombstones, where the caretaker had not mowed, I thought of past Mother’s Days. I wished that this weekend’s could be different. I had my silent conversations regarding all the recent family activities and updates, especially Genevieve’s (my niece Maureen’s daughter) First Communion on Sunday. My mother would be delighted to witness this special event.

Last Sunday, returning from the aromatherapy conference I attended, I learned that a woman, very dear to me, one of our daily “morning Mass ladies” and a neighborhood mom while I was growing up, suffered a massive stroke and remains in hospice care while her family waits for her to let go of her physical body (at the time of this writing, but our dear friend passed peacefully late Saturday evening). The week prior, she advised me that our routine Wednesday morning breakfast was back in place, paused during Lent and a few other activities, and asked me if I wanted to join them. I replied that I was busy getting ready for the conference and was trying to get things done before the four days of driving back and forth to the venue. She smiled and said, “Ok, next week then!”

There was no “next week” outing this week. I have asked myself over and over if that hour would have impacted my ability to be ready to go to the conference. The answer is always no, I would have gotten things done regardless.

Thursday I was shocked to hear of the death of a high school friend, losing her long battle with cancer. At one of our past reunions, in remission and positive as she always was, she honestly remarked that each day is a gift and that she doesn’t take any day for granted. I am confident she lived that way. I always enjoyed her family updates on social media, especially the joy she experienced in her grandchildren.

I am so sad for the families of each of those women, facing a Mother’s Day different than last year. I am absolutely confident that both of them will be welcomed into a life free of pain and discomfort, experiencing the Love and Light that the rest of us hope one day to dwell in. Yet in the joy of contemplating their eternal homecoming, there is sadness and loss for those left behind. For those of us who have lost our moms, we know the melancholy that dwells within as we see others celebrating. It changes with time, but it doesn’t go away.

For those of you who still have your mothers, treasure the time you have, even with the minor disagreements. You are probably more like them than you might care to think about. Be independent and be your own person, but be kind.

For those of you who are mothers, grandmothers, or stepmothers, enjoy your time with your families. Be grateful that you have another day to watch your loved ones step out into lives of their own. Whether you agree or disagree, you likely helped them gain the confidence to try new things. Be proud of that!

It seems so cliche to say that each moment is sacred and that we have to treasure the “here and now”. Some weeks it feels more true than others. I hope that we honor the memories of yesterday that we enjoyed, or learned from. I also hope we inhabit each moment of today as if it might be our last, turning our current moments into living memories.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you that are mothers, stepmothers, and grandmothers!

Until next week, wishing you abundant love and peace. Deena

Image: A canvas wall banner in the unique shop that I did social media work for last Fall and early Winter. It’s a lovely reminder to be, know and remember the strong women in our lives.