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Take courage

As I began reflecting about this week’s blog earlier this week I was looking forward to our annual Oblate Day at the monastery, St. Mary’s Monastery, in Rock Island IL. This year we are studying Dilexi Ti: On Love for the Poor, written by Pope Leo XIV ( begun by Pope Francis during his pontificate). Our speaker is involved in many activities that serve those in need in the Quad Cities and is well-versed to speak on this topic. I suspected that it would be a wonderful presentation and that there would be content to share. However, that will be for another day. His talk was deeply disquieting and a profoundly altering experience for me. I need more time to process what we heard and what we are called to be, as Christian people, reflecting the love of Christ in the world.

In many ways it was exactly what I needed after a week of deep heaviness and melancholy. Rev. Dr. Ford’s talk jolted me out of the funk I was in.

Last week I shared with a friend that I began exploring ways that people live their lives as urban hermits. I find it so appealing and could easily envision living a life in seclusion. What I was experiencing during the week was a good example of why being alone isn’t always a good thing. Darkness can become even more consuming. Little things begin to look like huge issues. Tears flow even more quickly in response to minor inconveniences. It’s easy to lose perspective.

The enemy wants us to believe we are in it alone.

Evil exists in the world. I mean more than the evil we see in politics and the news. This week was another example of the dismantling of the spiritual core and moral fiber of our country as we see images of individuals that attempt to harm children with guns. There are people with deep hatred and evil in their hearts. That level of evil exists for sure.

I am speaking of evil on a more personal, spiritual, level. There is an evil that attempts to lie to us and deceive us as we attempt to grow in faith and love. For most of us it’s not to the extent that requires professional assistance, or an exorcist, although I am personally aware of two individuals trained to recognize and confront this level of evil. It’s more subtle than that. This enemy tells us things won’t ever get better or change. Situations and thoughts become temptations to ignore prayer or assistance from friends, or spiritual advisors. The experiences become things that attempt to lead us away from God’s will for us.

Last summer I took a virtual retreat with the John Paul II Healing Center and one of the evenings was dedicated to a guided healing session. The evening included prayers of deliverance. Prayers seeking freedom from situations that bind us, whether past events, or current beliefs that need healing and restoration. Remembering those prayers, seeking spiritual deliverance from negative thoughts and feelings, was helpful as I began to climb my way out of the gloom.

Small sacramentals, like creating a small prayer altar with statues and prayer cards, using holy water, or saying the rosary, can be helpful too. This week I also found the novena prayers to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, especially helpful.

The Ignatian Discernment Institute and Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s daily posts on LinkedIn are often a source of great encouragement and support to me. The posts offer reminders such as, “Employed together, prayer of petition, meditation on truths of faith, careful examination, and suitable penance supply a formidable assault on discouragement and lies of the enemy’s desolations.” (Post on LinkedIn but from Setting Captives Free by Fr. Gallagher.)

Tell a friend. One friend reminded me that during times of depression or gloom are exactly the times to reach out, not go within. Another friend said some of the things I shared were what she needed to hear this week too. We don’t know who else might need support, and in the process, we can receive spiritual consolation

Today’s image is of St. Raphael the Archangel. It is a photo of a church window I visited in Arkansas. St. Raphael is often depicted holding a fish. In the book of Tobit, St. Raphael assists young Tobiah. He instructs him to catch a fish that will help in the healing of his father, Tobit. The fish’s liver and heart will drive away a demon (ch 8). Later, he is instructed to smear fish gall on his eyes to peel away cataracts and heal his father’s vision (ch 11).

St. Raphael, help open our eyes and hearts.

Wishing you a week of abundant peace and heavenly support, Deena

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Holding space for hard truths

Being honest about the thoughts we have, and the beliefs they represent within, can be challenging. It’s probably easier to ignore them with other thoughts like – it’s just a bad day or I’m not that different than everybody else. But if we really want to grow spiritually, personally or emotionally, it’s not a good idea to ignore looking at thoughts and reactions as they come up.

This week I’ve had some challenging invitations to go a little deeper.

Earlier this week I took a seminar with Reform Wellness and one of the introductory comments was “If Christ isn’t the center of your life, something else is.” There can be a million “something else’s” for each of us. It can be other people, jobs, opinions, status, fear or anxiety, money… I am sure you can think of some that are, or have been, true in your life. I definitely had to spend some time thinking about all the things I let guide my decisions or reactions that are not my relationship with God. Instead of looking outside for answers, we were invited to take those concerns we have and sit down for an honest conversation with the Lord. Seems simple, right? But am I willing to hear the answer that may come?

There were scripture passages that challenged me this week as well – Simon and his judgement of the woman with the alabaster jar, the parable of the sower and the seed that falls among the thorns and is choked by anxieties, riches and pleasures in life, and finally, today’s Sunday’s gospel parable of the harvest workers being paid, by the landowner, the wage for an hour of work as the workers who toiled all day.

Diana Butler Bass wrote an insightful article, in her Sunday Musings, regarding envy versus jealousy. She wrote “Envy is a murderer — of our own souls, of others, and of the possibility of communion and community. Envy drives us to have more, to take what we think we deserve, to beat others at the game.” I looked at my own reactions to others or events, desiring to be honest about them. But what surprised me even more was what it brought up about my feelings about injustice I see in our country and my constant, daily, plea, “Why are they getting away with this? God, when are you going to do something about it?” Sure, I have my vote (and that’s important), but how else might I be called to look at, and deal with, those feelings of anger and disgust?

There were a long list of items I would have preferred to write about today. I read emails and commentaries that responded and reacted so much better than I could, so I will leave that to more proficient writers than me. As a quick note, if you haven’t read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper post, How We Fight, I would encourage you to do so. I think it might be my favorite article of all her articles that I have read. Maria has great insights on approaching the battles we fight, personally or as a society. I agree and want to try harder to implement this approach.

Besides being open and vulnerable, as Shriver suggests, I think it is also important to look for the wondrous moments that present themselves each day – the rain, the moments in between the rain, the cooler temps… simple, little moments can become moments to pause and be grateful.

Today’s photo image is a “grateful” plate I set out this time of year. I purposely left the dark shadow in the photo as I took it, because I think worry, stress, judgement, etc can be an “opposition voice” that gets in the way of our gratitude if we let it.

This week, if moments to look within and be honest arise, approach them gently and then look for ways to be grateful for the insights they are providing.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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It’s a delicate balance

Turning 70 can definitely have an impact on your perspective in life.

It has given me the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for the friendships I have and the ability to spend more time with and appreciating them. I have, for the most part, everything I need and have decided I want to simplify in many areas of life. I can also relax the longing to figure out “what I want to do with my life”.

It makes each day seem even more precious.

I have been impacted, as so many of you have, by the images from Nepal. People who were sitting on a bus at the border crossing, or walking in the streets of their village, swept away by the flash flooding. Fortunately, there are stories of survival but for so many the loss is inconceivable. Friday night we also learned, in our Illinois Valley area, of the tragic loss of a young boy in a car accident, with the mother and brother surviving. Again, lives changed in an instant.

Regardless of our age or situation, each day is a gift.

This morning I read an article by a needlework artist who shared some thoughts after attending a Vince Gill concert. She’s a big fan so is aware of the goals he has, such as 50 years into his career, taking on a project to create 12 extended play releases. One might ask Gill, why not relax and begin to take it easy? She wrote that when Gill was questioned about it, he replied that “he doesn’t have as many years left to be creative — so it matters to him more than ever.  And then he said he’s having the time of his life, just having a ball with it.” She used his story as an analogy, encouraging us to “learn a new stitch” or “start a new canvas” or “become the artist you’ve always wanted to be”.

I have always had the tendency to put off things – I can’t do this until … one more class, one more book, one more technique, etc “before I am ready”. My friend Kate taught a class this week, The One More Thing Trap, that encouraged us to look at all the “one more things” we tell ourselves that have to happen before we can be the person we want to be. When we do that we lose the ability to feel present and connected to where we are right now. Note: you can still access the replay to this free class by registering for Kate’s class here.

My cross stitch, and other art projects, have become a beautiful metaphor for living life. They have become a living reflection of my journey. Taking life more slowly and deliberately. Living and acting with intention. Trying bold new projects. Simply having fun. Each day is like a project, taking it one stitch at a time.

Regardless of your age, 30 or 80, my wish is that this week you enjoy the moments as they come along. Be present. Be adventuresome. Savor them.

Wishing you abundant joy, Deena

Today’s image: I noticed a dragonfly on my “purple showers” the other day. He was simply sitting on to the edge of the leaf. Moving with the wind as it swayed. I wondered if he was stuck. After several minutes, he flew away. He reminded me to land lightly, settle softly, and enjoy the moment.

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Crowding out the chaos

My brother and I own the duplex that I live in. We have a tenant renting the other side. I have several plants in the flower beds on that side of the building but I have not planted as many as I have on my side and I don’t take the time to care for it as well as mine. For the past couple of years the weeds have been atrocious. I have tried rock, heavy mulch (lots and lots of heavy mulch!), landscape paper, but the soil is just lousy. The weeds seem to thrive in it. I have been putting off getting over on that side to clear the weeds again. Friday I decided I needed to get out there again, but I had a new idea. I purchased some ground cover, as I have in many areas of my flower beds, and planted to see if it will eventually grow and crowd out the weeds. I only completed a small section and I really wanted different ground cover than the ones I found, but it’s a start!

Planting the new ground cover is fresh on my mind this morning as I reflected on the Gospel reading for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Matthew’s second accounting of the storm at sea has the apostles in the boat, alone without Jesus, as a storm brews and overwhelms them. In this version, they see Jesus in the distance as he walks toward them on the water. We are all familiar with Peter calling out to Jesus, Peter walking out to him on the water, but then begins to sink as he takes his eyes off Jesus. Our pastor, Fr. Paul Carlson, shared an insightful homily of the two storm versions in Matthew’s gospel and the need to keep our focus on Jesus as we navigate the storms and turbulent waters of this world. He reminded us that as followers of Jesus, “we need to be able to walk on the difficult seas [in life], but not be swallowed up by them.”

It’s not easy some days. The noise and turbulence of the world can overwhelm us just as the sea did to the apostles in the gospel. The weeds can take over and crowd out the good plants, in our spirit and soul, unless we replace the weeds with better plants. We need to blanket the soil of our minds and hearts with quiet time of prayer, reflection, and soul time with God. We are able to keep our eyes on Jesus, and less on the world, by who and what we devote our attention to.

I’m not sure if it’s age, or wisdom, but I find myself cherishing the quiet, alone time at home, or at church, more than I ever have in past years. Whether reading, listening to podcasts, gardening, stitching and reflecting, or simply in quiet prayer, it’s easier to be at peace. Perhaps it isn’t what I am turning toward but what I am turning away from. Likely, it’s a combination of both. Regardless, life is more serene and tranquil when I do so.

At this point in my writing journey of publishing this blog every Sunday for over three years, I have to check titles to make sure I haven’t used it before. This by itself is a task in creativity. I searched and found a previous post titled, “Clearing the Weeds”. I reread it and was reminded of a somatic technique called SNAP that author, and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, developed. In the blog I share the meaning of the acronym, and briefly how to use the technique, to manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. I had forgotten about it, and in addition to prayer and contemplation, this simple technique is a great way to recenter in moments of stress. You can click here to read that post:https://deenapavinato.com/2025/06/22/clearing-the-weeds/.

This week I encourage you to find ways, that are helpful to you, when you need to clear the weeds in your own inner landscape. Find ways to be still. Then check in and see if it makes a difference in your day and your outlook.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s image: One of the small areas of pachysandra, a ground cover (Japanese Spurge), in my flower beds, that my friend Kathy and I fell in love with at Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and have been adding to our flower beds this year. It’s growing nicely and next year I will be sure to add more to both sides of the duplex.

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A seed is just a seed

This is my favorite time of year in the Illinois Valley. We had late cold and rain this Spring, so it may appear to be a bit behind the last couple of years, but the baby corn, like the field in today’s blog image, are starting to sprout. I just love these little green leaves emerging from the ground. They make my heart happy!

Inside each tiny seed, the embryo of the plant has everything it needs to grow and transform into a mature plant. But each seed remains dormant until it has the right conditions of sun, oxygen, the right temperature and warmth, and moisture to activate and cause the seed to germinate. The seeds have a life force within them, that is dormant, until the right conditions appear to cause growth. (Farmers and scientists, please forgive my overly simplistic explanation.)

Seeing these plants beginning to grow this past week, I reflected again on the spirit, or life force, within all things. This life force is “viriditas”, or “greening power”, coined by St. Hildegard of Bingen, that I mentioned in last week’s blog. My reflection and study led me to review several articles again, especially one by Nameeta Renu, theology scholar and author of numerous articles on consecrated life, “Why St. Hildegards’s spirituality of ‘viriditas’ is so extraordinary”, on a site I follow, Global Sisters Report (see note below on GSR).

Hildegard, Benedictine abbess, mystic, healer, artist and scholar, saw the living power of light, from God, in all of creation. Her art and writings reflected this “greenness” in all things. But Hildegard’s concept of greening power wasn’t a study of ecology. She wrote that the soul within each person is the green life-force of the flesh. If we, as human beings, neglect our “inner greening”, if we lose the “sap of life”, carelessness about the things that are important in life, or if we experience the “drought of our indolence,” our soul power begins to “fade and dry up”.

Today is Holy Trinity Sunday. We reflect on the dynamic Love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We attempt to grasp how that Love is then shared with us. Hildegard would talk about the Holy Spirit as this green “sap” within us. Like trees, the Holy Spirit is the juicy green, moist, creative life within us. Is it alive or dried up?

So a seed is just a seed, or is it? It is pure potential. It is potential waiting for the right conditions to nurture it so that it can develop in a way that it becomes what it was made to be, in the image and likeness of the plant that created the seed in the first place. Or as Hildegard wrote, “Every creature is a glittering, glistening mirror of Divinity”. We were created in the Divine image of God. We are beloved sons and daughters.

So I pause to ask myself this week if I am nurturing and watering that seed within? Am I living to my potential, daring to declare who I am (also a thought from Hildegard)? What else does my spirit need to become fully alive, lush and green? I hope my thoughts prompt you to consider the same.

Wishing you a week, and a new month, that is thriving, vibrant and full of growth! Deena

Note: Global Sisters Report is an independent, nonprofit source of news and information about Catholic sisters and the critical issues facing the people they serve. They send daily email updates or you can visit their site, Global Sisters Report. You can also find a direct link on National Catholic Reporter.

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A listening heart

The problem with getting hundreds of emails from authors and speakers that I follow is keeping up with them all. The amount of compelling content to read can be overwhelming each week, so I read some, scan some for the highlights, and then save for later. I recently stopped to read a blog I had saved, written by Eric Clayton, author and Director of Communications for Jesuit Conference of Canada and the United States. I met and began reading Eric’s book and blogs during my time at Ignatian Ministries. He’s a wonderful writer and I am often inspired by his essays in his weekly “Now Discern This“.

The email that I re-read was regarding a trip to the bookstore and advising his daughters that they could pick out one book, not a toy or game. Eric made a selection of three books, from all of their choices, that he thought they might like. The youngest, unamused with the concept of making a decision declared they should get them all. Eric used this as a lesson in making a choice.

Eric goes on to write, to each of us, the beauty of the tools of discernment given to us by St. Ignatius of Loyola. We must understand our limitations, he explains, and understand that we can’t have it all. We use the tools of discernment to help us align our gifts and talents with God’s will for us.

I am grateful for my time at Ignatian Ministries and our use of the Ignatian Discernment tools in every decision we made. The tools of discernment taught by Ignatian Ministries founder, Becky Eldredge, as well as authors such as Eric Clayton, Fr. Timothy Gallagher, Fr. Kevin O’Brien, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux, Fr. William Barry, and countless others, help us tune in to the thoughts and feelings we are having as we pray and make decisions. These tools, first considered by St. Ignatius of Loyola as he was convalescing from a battle injury, help us to identify “good” and “evil” spirits impacting us in our daily lives, as well as movements of consolation and desolation, we are feeling as we consider decisions or ways of responding to particular situations.

These don’t have to be used in huge life changing decisions, such as what job to take, where to move, or whether we are being called to a vocation. They can be used practically, such as Eric’s example of helping his daughters make a book purchase or in our daily prayer.

This past week I began a novena for a specific intention. It wasn’t an intercessory intention for someone in need or as stately as world peace. It was something more closely related to my life. By the third day I began to feel a sense of desolation about my prayer. I brought it to reflection during Adoration and quickly realized I had the plan all figured out. I had my request and the outcome all set. I began to “feel” God respond to me and say, “that might be the right outcome” but “let go, let me handle it. I can see far wider than you can.” At that point I changed my intention to “whatever is best…” I almost immediately felt the desolation change to consolation, and accompanying feelings of peace, calm and a willingness to hand over my request to God.

Becky Eldredge has frequently shared her insights on “Testing Desires” in her workshops. The first step Becky suggests for us helped me this week: Check the source – did it come from God, from my humanness, or from a false spirit? Next, where did the desire leave me?

I could feel in my spirit that my specific prayer was not leading me closer to God. I knew I had to let the outcome go and trust the process. I may not understand completely what I may be led to, but I feel better praying for what is best and for an outcome that will help me be the person God created me to be, rather than what I think is best for me in this moment.

If you would like a free resource on the Steps of Discernment, you can download it from Ignatian Ministries (IM) website or search the IM blog, Into the Deep, for articles on discernment, consolation or desolation. Another amazing resource, for all things Ignatian, is IgnatianSpirituality.com.

I wish you abundant peace and calm as you go forward into this new week! Deena

Photo: prayer candles at a church in Orvieto Italy.

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Reasons to hope

Yesterday morning my friend Kathy and I visited a couple of our favorite nurseries to look for a few of the plants that we enjoy in our gardens and pots each year. We are a bit early this year (or weather has us a bit behind here in IL) and, at one of the garden centers, there were not as many plants as we had hoped for but it was a lovely trip nonetheless. They have beautiful paths and gardens to wander, there were signs of life everywhere! Little straight shoots of hostas emerging from their winter rest, an awakening canopy of flowering ground covers, and budding branches on trees, and of course, spring blooms of bluebells, hyacinths and tulips! It’s a magical visit there every time but is a reason to hope as all new growth begins to come to life.

Because I was gone most of the day on Saturday I did not attend Prayer Vigil for Peace called for by Pope Leo XIV in the morning US time. I am immensely grateful for the coverage and that I had the ability to listen to, and pray with, the Vigil on YouTube on Saturday evening.

As a Catholic I believe in the inspiration and guidance of the Holy Spirit, enlightening the cardinals, in their selection of a new Pope. I still recall my delight and surprise last year to learn of our first US pope. Each and every day since then I pray in thanksgiving for the selection of Pope Leo. I can’t imagine a better choice for this time in history. He has, especially in recent weeks, been a voice of reason on the world stage, calling for diplomacy over weapons and force. Given his first words to each of us, last May from the balcony of St. Peter’s, were “Peace be with you all” we might have imagined this tone for his papacy.

I found his words yesterday, April 11, to be courageous and needed, given the current state of tensions in the Middle East and other war impacted areas of our world. But I also found them poetic, profound and emotionally stirring as I listened and then read them (you can read the full reflection here, or if reading on social media, click my blog for the link).

“Prayer teaches us how to act. In prayer, our limited human possibilities are joined to the infinite possibilities of God.“

“True strength is shown in serving life.“

“We are an immense multitude that rejects war not only in word, but also in deed. Prayer calls us to leave behind whatever violence remains in our hearts and minds. Let us turn to a Kingdom of peace that is built up day by day — in our homes, schools, neighborhoods, and civil and religious communities. A Kingdom that counters polemics and resignation through friendship and a culture of encounter. Let us believe once again in love, moderation and good politics. We must form ourselves and get personally involved, each following our own calling. Everyone has a place in the mosaic of peace!“

“Brothers and sisters of every language, people and nation: we are one family that weeps, hopes and rises again.“

Pope Leo’s words lifted my heart and gave me hope. His words don’t change the current state of the world but I pray that as our voices and prayers for peace rise and become stronger, we plant those seeds around us. We cannot lose hope that together our prayers and voices make a difference!

On this Divine Mercy Sunday, Jesus entered the upper room and said “Peace be with you.” May our voices and our lives share that same message to those we encounter.

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Image: a cute frog statue in one of the emerging beds at Hornabaker Gardens, Princeton IL.

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Go deeper

At one point this past week I had the thought, a typical one for me toward the end of Lent, I would like to start Lent over, or I could have done more. But, here we are at Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week. It’s the most solemn and holy week of the liturgical year and gives us the opportunity to enter more deeply into the mysteries of our faith.

Whatever we did, or didn’t do as well as we would have liked, our Lenten practices of increased prayer and devotion, fasting and sharing our resources with those in need, aren’t something that have to stop after Easter next weekend. I might not choose to be as rigorous with fasting and some of the extra devotions, like Stations of the Cross, that may no longer be offered in our parishes, but there are opportunities to continue to let these daily practices open my heart to God and consider the attachments in my life that are a hinderance in my relationship with God.

The Lenten practices that we chose have the intention of clearing away the noise and distraction, in hopes of opening my heart more fully to God. It isn’t a race to simply cross a finish line and congratulate ourselves at the end for a job well done. If I was able to create a space to enter more deeply into relationship with God, why would I close the door now?

Over the past few weeks we have listened carefully to ways in both the Old and New Testaments that people heard and responded to the word of God. To really hear it, versus just listen to it, we internalize it and let it begin to shape who we are and how we show up each day in our encounters with others and in the choices we make in life.

This week gives us further opportunity to reflect on Jesus’ message and the immense sacrifice given in complete love for us. No matter how Lent went for us, we can allow this week to be one of a little more silence and reflection. Attend your parish or church services recalling the Lord’s Supper, Passion and Death on the Cross, and then after sitting in the silence of Holy Saturday, wait to celebrate the joy of Easter Resurrection. Slow down, enter into the holiness of this week. Listen to the scripture readings and reflect on the gifts you have in life and how God has showered love on you and those you love. Reflect on how you can share that Love with those you encounter.

If Lent has not changed us, it’s not too late. This week is our chance to go deeper.

Wishing you abundant graces this Holy Week. Deena

Image: A Station of the Cross on the grounds of Subiaco Abbey in Subiaco, Arkansas visited during a Benedictine Conference.

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Pray for peace

I begin by stating that I understand and support the notion that we create internal peace by staying out of negative and political social media posts, staying away from the news except to remain informed, or worrying about a war that we have absolutely no control over.

I get it, I really do. I am trying hard to create peace internally and in my small sphere of influence. I continue to write in my journal, as I have for months, that each day is going to be my peaceful day and I focus on that goal each day.

But when I see a little boy crying in a Lebanese hospital because he was bombed and saw his father in pieces before him, I also know we cannot hide from the reality of what this evil war is doing to innocent people. There are times we must speak out and defy what is happening. It is not making our country safer, richer or better off. I don’t need to share all the information about what is happening each day and how much it is costing our country. You can read that on your own.

I join Pope Leo XIV appealing to “those responsible for this conflict: cease fire!” I join him in asking each of us to look at what is happening with the eyes of Jesus. In today’s gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Lent Jesus cures the blind man. We can open our eyes or keep them shut. Pope Leo also said, “It takes a vigilant, careful and prophetic faith to open eyes to the darkness of the world and bring the light of the Gospel to them through commitment to peace, justice and solidarity.”

Speak up when you can. Support those in need in whatever way you are able. Vote to make a difference.

Most importantly, let us pray for peace in our world.

Deena

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Go sit in your cell

When asked for a word of wisdom, Abba Moses, one of the early desert fathers, told the seeker “Go sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” The journey of Lent is one of going within, engaging in disciplines that help us see, hear and respond more freely to the call of the Christ. This week I was called deeper into the desert.

After picking up the remains of my cat, Bela, on Tuesday, I felt a desire, and an inner call, to greater solitude. I needed space to process grief on many levels, not just losing Bela. I picked up some groceries, advised a couple people who needed to know that I wouldn’t be participating in “normal” activities for the remainder of the week. I turned within. I did have some text or phone conversations as needed, did some required social media posts on sites I post for, but spent the week reading, reflecting and journaling. I created a personal and private retreat in my home. Just like entering a silent retreat and questioning whether I would be able to gracefully encounter the time in silence, Wednesday morning I questioned what I was doing, I “should be…” Fortunately those temptations were met quickly and I easily fell in the rhythm of my self-created retreat.

When we set aside time and space for reflection, it’s amazing what shows up. Or perhaps, the quietude invites greater attention to the world as it always is around us, without a blur of motion, internal and external. For most of us the mind is a turbulent ocean, or sea, waves crashing and distracting us all of the time, but when the waves calm down we can see into the depth of the sea more clearly.

I was invited again this year to imagine receiving an empty clay bowl from Abba Arsenius, another of the early desert fathers, (Retreat: A Different Kind of Lent) as I had been given in the past. In the bowl we can visualize all the activities that fill up the bowl each day, distracting or addictive behavior, and then intentionally empty the bowl to create a spacious place to receive what is more life-giving.

Not everything I read or encountered was spiritual or faith reading. Most was. I also listened to a discussion by an author and life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who I followed more closely several years ago, but have been tuning into more frequently lately. She offered simple self-care wisdom during these challenging times we are experiencing. (These were offered in a quite humorous and sarcastic way, such as eat more sugar, make sure you always have your phone so you don’t miss a social media post, read every comment on them, and of course, stay up late each day!) I felt a longing for activities, or information, like that from my past. Things that were authentically me, things that inspired, shaped and formed me. Somehow they became “less spiritual”, a bogus assessment of where one is capable of experiencing God or Spirit.

I stitched – if you have stitched, crocheted, knitted or maybe even done puzzles or diamond art, you know it can become a method of quieting the mind. A stitch in, and a stitch out, can shape a slow pace for mindful breathing. It can become a way to let go, creating a framework for a quiet pause.

St John of the Cross said, which was often shared and made popular by Trappist monk, Thomas Keating, “Silence is God’s first language. Everything else is a poor translation.” In stillness we can hear what is more essential. Nothing I “heard” or read this week was an earth-shattering revelation, but I was awed, and grateful for, the insights that did form throughout the week. Like the Samaritan woman in today’s Third Sunday of Lent gospel, I have been at the well thirsting for a drink. This week, during my quiet pause, I was given a long, cool, refreshing drink.

It’s not practical for me to be able to retreat completely like that every week but I can certainly create more quiet spaces each day. I also want to continue to assess that my daily activities are done from a place of desire or service, not expectation. If any of this sounds inviting to you, perhaps you can consider some time in your day for a sacred pause to turn within and listen.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: my purple bowl, a visual to remind myself to fill it more consciously and lovingly with things that matter.