Category: discernment

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A listening heart

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender novena, The Spiritual Exercises, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The problem with getting hundreds of emails from authors and speakers that I follow is keeping up with them all. The amount of compelling content to read can be overwhelming each week, so I read some, scan some for the highlights, and then save for later. I recently stopped to read a blog I had saved, written by Eric Clayton, author and Director of Communications for Jesuit Conference of Canada and the United States. I met and began reading Eric’s book and blogs during my time at Ignatian Ministries. He’s a wonderful writer and I am often inspired by his essays in his weekly “Now Discern This“.

The email that I re-read was regarding a trip to the bookstore and advising his daughters that they could pick out one book, not a toy or game. Eric made a selection of three books, from all of their choices, that he thought they might like. The youngest, unamused with the concept of making a decision declared they should get them all. Eric used this as a lesson in making a choice.

Eric goes on to write, to each of us, the beauty of the tools of discernment given to us by St. Ignatius of Loyola. We must understand our limitations, he explains, and understand that we can’t have it all. We use the tools of discernment to help us align our gifts and talents with God’s will for us.

I am grateful for my time at Ignatian Ministries and our use of the Ignatian Discernment tools in every decision we made. The tools of discernment taught by Ignatian Ministries founder, Becky Eldredge, as well as authors such as Eric Clayton, Fr. Timothy Gallagher, Fr. Kevin O’Brien, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux, Fr. William Barry, and countless others, help us tune in to the thoughts and feelings we are having as we pray and make decisions. These tools, first considered by St. Ignatius of Loyola as he was convalescing from a battle injury, help us to identify “good” and “evil” spirits impacting us in our daily lives, as well as movements of consolation and desolation, we are feeling as we consider decisions or ways of responding to particular situations.

These don’t have to be used in huge life changing decisions, such as what job to take, where to move, or whether we are being called to a vocation. They can be used practically, such as Eric’s example of helping his daughters make a book purchase or in our daily prayer.

This past week I began a novena for a specific intention. It wasn’t an intercessory intention for someone in need or as stately as world peace. It was something more closely related to my life. By the third day I began to feel a sense of desolation about my prayer. I brought it to reflection during Adoration and quickly realized I had the plan all figured out. I had my request and the outcome all set. I began to “feel” God respond to me and say, “that might be the right outcome” but “let go, let me handle it. I can see far wider than you can.” At that point I changed my intention to “whatever is best…” I almost immediately felt the desolation change to consolation, and accompanying feelings of peace, calm and a willingness to hand over my request to God.

Becky Eldredge has frequently shared her insights on “Testing Desires” in her workshops. The first step Becky suggests for us helped me this week: Check the source – did it come from God, from my humanness, or from a false spirit? Next, where did the desire leave me?

I could feel in my spirit that my specific prayer was not leading me closer to God. I knew I had to let the outcome go and trust the process. I may not understand completely what I may be led to, but I feel better praying for what is best and for an outcome that will help me be the person God created me to be, rather than what I think is best for me in this moment.

If you would like a free resource on the Steps of Discernment, you can download it from Ignatian Ministries (IM) website or search the IM blog, Into the Deep, for articles on discernment, consolation or desolation. Another amazing resource, for all things Ignatian, is IgnatianSpirituality.com.

I wish you abundant peace and calm as you go forward into this new week! Deena

Photo: prayer candles at a church in Orvieto Italy.

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Reasons to hope

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Divine Mercy, Easter Hope, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Yesterday morning my friend Kathy and I visited a couple of our favorite nurseries to look for a few of the plants that we enjoy in our gardens and pots each year. We are a bit early this year (or weather has us a bit behind here in IL) and, at one of the garden centers, there were not as many plants as we had hoped for but it was a lovely trip nonetheless. They have beautiful paths and gardens to wander, there were signs of life everywhere! Little straight shoots of hostas emerging from their winter rest, an awakening canopy of flowering ground covers, and budding branches on trees, and of course, spring blooms of bluebells, hyacinths and tulips! It’s a magical visit there every time but is a reason to hope as all new growth begins to come to life.

Because I was gone most of the day on Saturday I did not attend Prayer Vigil for Peace called for by Pope Leo XIV in the morning US time. I am immensely grateful for the coverage and that I had the ability to listen to, and pray with, the Vigil on YouTube on Saturday evening.

As a Catholic I believe in the inspiration and guidance of the Holy Spirit, enlightening the cardinals, in their selection of a new Pope. I still recall my delight and surprise last year to learn of our first US pope. Each and every day since then I pray in thanksgiving for the selection of Pope Leo. I can’t imagine a better choice for this time in history. He has, especially in recent weeks, been a voice of reason on the world stage, calling for diplomacy over weapons and force. Given his first words to each of us, last May from the balcony of St. Peter’s, were “Peace be with you all” we might have imagined this tone for his papacy.

I found his words yesterday, April 11, to be courageous and needed, given the current state of tensions in the Middle East and other war impacted areas of our world. But I also found them poetic, profound and emotionally stirring as I listened and then read them (you can read the full reflection here, or if reading on social media, click my blog for the link).

“Prayer teaches us how to act. In prayer, our limited human possibilities are joined to the infinite possibilities of God.“

“True strength is shown in serving life.“

“We are an immense multitude that rejects war not only in word, but also in deed. Prayer calls us to leave behind whatever violence remains in our hearts and minds. Let us turn to a Kingdom of peace that is built up day by day — in our homes, schools, neighborhoods, and civil and religious communities. A Kingdom that counters polemics and resignation through friendship and a culture of encounter. Let us believe once again in love, moderation and good politics. We must form ourselves and get personally involved, each following our own calling. Everyone has a place in the mosaic of peace!“

“Brothers and sisters of every language, people and nation: we are one family that weeps, hopes and rises again.“

Pope Leo’s words lifted my heart and gave me hope. His words don’t change the current state of the world but I pray that as our voices and prayers for peace rise and become stronger, we plant those seeds around us. We cannot lose hope that together our prayers and voices make a difference!

On this Divine Mercy Sunday, Jesus entered the upper room and said “Peace be with you.” May our voices and our lives share that same message to those we encounter.

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Image: a cute frog statue in one of the emerging beds at Hornabaker Gardens, Princeton IL.

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Go deeper

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christ the King, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

At one point this past week I had the thought, a typical one for me toward the end of Lent, I would like to start Lent over, or I could have done more. But, here we are at Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week. It’s the most solemn and holy week of the liturgical year and gives us the opportunity to enter more deeply into the mysteries of our faith.

Whatever we did, or didn’t do as well as we would have liked, our Lenten practices of increased prayer and devotion, fasting and sharing our resources with those in need, aren’t something that have to stop after Easter next weekend. I might not choose to be as rigorous with fasting and some of the extra devotions, like Stations of the Cross, that may no longer be offered in our parishes, but there are opportunities to continue to let these daily practices open my heart to God and consider the attachments in my life that are a hinderance in my relationship with God.

The Lenten practices that we chose have the intention of clearing away the noise and distraction, in hopes of opening my heart more fully to God. It isn’t a race to simply cross a finish line and congratulate ourselves at the end for a job well done. If I was able to create a space to enter more deeply into relationship with God, why would I close the door now?

Over the past few weeks we have listened carefully to ways in both the Old and New Testaments that people heard and responded to the word of God. To really hear it, versus just listen to it, we internalize it and let it begin to shape who we are and how we show up each day in our encounters with others and in the choices we make in life.

This week gives us further opportunity to reflect on Jesus’ message and the immense sacrifice given in complete love for us. No matter how Lent went for us, we can allow this week to be one of a little more silence and reflection. Attend your parish or church services recalling the Lord’s Supper, Passion and Death on the Cross, and then after sitting in the silence of Holy Saturday, wait to celebrate the joy of Easter Resurrection. Slow down, enter into the holiness of this week. Listen to the scripture readings and reflect on the gifts you have in life and how God has showered love on you and those you love. Reflect on how you can share that Love with those you encounter.

If Lent has not changed us, it’s not too late. This week is our chance to go deeper.

Wishing you abundant graces this Holy Week. Deena

Image: A Station of the Cross on the grounds of Subiaco Abbey in Subiaco, Arkansas visited during a Benedictine Conference.

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Pray for peace

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I begin by stating that I understand and support the notion that we create internal peace by staying out of negative and political social media posts, staying away from the news except to remain informed, or worrying about a war that we have absolutely no control over.

I get it, I really do. I am trying hard to create peace internally and in my small sphere of influence. I continue to write in my journal, as I have for months, that each day is going to be my peaceful day and I focus on that goal each day.

But when I see a little boy crying in a Lebanese hospital because he was bombed and saw his father in pieces before him, I also know we cannot hide from the reality of what this evil war is doing to innocent people. There are times we must speak out and defy what is happening. It is not making our country safer, richer or better off. I don’t need to share all the information about what is happening each day and how much it is costing our country. You can read that on your own.

I join Pope Leo XIV appealing to “those responsible for this conflict: cease fire!” I join him in asking each of us to look at what is happening with the eyes of Jesus. In today’s gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Lent Jesus cures the blind man. We can open our eyes or keep them shut. Pope Leo also said, “It takes a vigilant, careful and prophetic faith to open eyes to the darkness of the world and bring the light of the Gospel to them through commitment to peace, justice and solidarity.”

Speak up when you can. Support those in need in whatever way you are able. Vote to make a difference.

Most importantly, let us pray for peace in our world.

Deena

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Go sit in your cell

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Lenten journey, mindfulness, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

When asked for a word of wisdom, Abba Moses, one of the early desert fathers, told the seeker “Go sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” The journey of Lent is one of going within, engaging in disciplines that help us see, hear and respond more freely to the call of the Christ. This week I was called deeper into the desert.

After picking up the remains of my cat, Bela, on Tuesday, I felt a desire, and an inner call, to greater solitude. I needed space to process grief on many levels, not just losing Bela. I picked up some groceries, advised a couple people who needed to know that I wouldn’t be participating in “normal” activities for the remainder of the week. I turned within. I did have some text or phone conversations as needed, did some required social media posts on sites I post for, but spent the week reading, reflecting and journaling. I created a personal and private retreat in my home. Just like entering a silent retreat and questioning whether I would be able to gracefully encounter the time in silence, Wednesday morning I questioned what I was doing, I “should be…” Fortunately those temptations were met quickly and I easily fell in the rhythm of my self-created retreat.

When we set aside time and space for reflection, it’s amazing what shows up. Or perhaps, the quietude invites greater attention to the world as it always is around us, without a blur of motion, internal and external. For most of us the mind is a turbulent ocean, or sea, waves crashing and distracting us all of the time, but when the waves calm down we can see into the depth of the sea more clearly.

I was invited again this year to imagine receiving an empty clay bowl from Abba Arsenius, another of the early desert fathers, (Retreat: A Different Kind of Lent) as I had been given in the past. In the bowl we can visualize all the activities that fill up the bowl each day, distracting or addictive behavior, and then intentionally empty the bowl to create a spacious place to receive what is more life-giving.

Not everything I read or encountered was spiritual or faith reading. Most was. I also listened to a discussion by an author and life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who I followed more closely several years ago, but have been tuning into more frequently lately. She offered simple self-care wisdom during these challenging times we are experiencing. (These were offered in a quite humorous and sarcastic way, such as eat more sugar, make sure you always have your phone so you don’t miss a social media post, read every comment on them, and of course, stay up late each day!) I felt a longing for activities, or information, like that from my past. Things that were authentically me, things that inspired, shaped and formed me. Somehow they became “less spiritual”, a bogus assessment of where one is capable of experiencing God or Spirit.

I stitched – if you have stitched, crocheted, knitted or maybe even done puzzles or diamond art, you know it can become a method of quieting the mind. A stitch in, and a stitch out, can shape a slow pace for mindful breathing. It can become a way to let go, creating a framework for a quiet pause.

St John of the Cross said, which was often shared and made popular by Trappist monk, Thomas Keating, “Silence is God’s first language. Everything else is a poor translation.” In stillness we can hear what is more essential. Nothing I “heard” or read this week was an earth-shattering revelation, but I was awed, and grateful for, the insights that did form throughout the week. Like the Samaritan woman in today’s Third Sunday of Lent gospel, I have been at the well thirsting for a drink. This week, during my quiet pause, I was given a long, cool, refreshing drink.

It’s not practical for me to be able to retreat completely like that every week but I can certainly create more quiet spaces each day. I also want to continue to assess that my daily activities are done from a place of desire or service, not expectation. If any of this sounds inviting to you, perhaps you can consider some time in your day for a sacred pause to turn within and listen.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: my purple bowl, a visual to remind myself to fill it more consciously and lovingly with things that matter.

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Led into the desert

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a thin veil, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, hope and healing, Laudato Si, Lenten journey, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting1 Comment

In life we are led to places we don’t want to go. I have struggled with a thousand questions this week, none of them with life-giving answers that help me in my grief. The desert provides a vast and stark landscape, with few distractions, so we have room for answers to emerge. I am learning that the answers will have to emerge, in their own time, they do not break through as a result of my willing it. Perhaps that is why we are given the symbolic period of 40 days in our own Lenten journeys to mirror the days that Jesus was led into the desert to pray, fast and be tempted. We need time to “rediscover what our hearts truly desire when the distractions fall away” as so beautifully stated in the opening of the Laudato Si’ reflection for the First Sunday of Lent.

What I desired for Lent was to enter a desert time to be free of the distractions that were filling my time with things other than prayer and reflection. Now the distraction of all my questions is consuming my time, impacting the desire for prayer and reflection, even more than going out for coffee would have done.

Given the temptation of changing this situation, just like a rock into a loaf of bread, I would probably say “yes”, change it. I would not be strong enough to resist the temptation. I want Lent to be different than it is.

If you are finding you have a similar mindset as you look at the distractions in your own life – wishing to change circumstances to be a person more centered in prayer and meditation, to be a person of peace and lovingkindness and more compassionate towards others, to want to give more of your time to those in need – you are not alone. I hope for each of us that the desire for these good works is in itself a grace. As also stated in the reflection by Laudato Si’, the distorted desire for the things (my add – of the world, more fleeting in nature) that are pleasing becomes a distraction, they fragment us, not free us.

This weekend in my journaling and reflection I read something written by Rainer Maria Rilke that I am trying to sit with. He invites us to “have patience with everything unresolved” in our hearts and to love the questions. “Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given now, because you would not be able to live them. The point is, to live everything.” I must have hope in that, to live with the questions so that the answers slowly emerge as part of living into them. Just as I have hoped by writing my “peaceful day” statement every day for months is a slow drip of water smoothing the jagged edges of my heart, I have hope in this guidance by Rilke.

Let each day be what it is. Lean into the questions. Hold hope that they are all part of a larger transformation taking place.

Wishing you a week of peace and hope, Deena

Image created in Canva

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Start with a dream and dream big

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Dream big, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom2 Comments

I love the Opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and the Winter 2026 Opening Ceremonies did not disappoint (ok, it’s in Milan and Cortina, so I might be a bit biased). I loved it all – Andrea Bocelli, the dove image and message of peace, the adorable Italian hand gesture lesson, the all female color guard in Armani suits, the colorful flowing paint tubes, dancing composers and, (seriously? How creative and representative of Italy!), giant colorful moka pots, I was thrilled.

Beginning with a sequence of the winter athletes watching their younger selves practicing their sport was an inspiring first segment for the Ceremonies! Having watched young people grow into adulthood, in my own family, with their specific goals and ambitions, and achieve those dreams is equally inspiring. I paused to reflect how some people are so inspired at a young age to pursue a goal, and the relentless practice to accomplish it. It’s a gift to be so confident and determined.

On Friday I was reminded that we are all encouraged to dream big. A reflection by Monk Mindset challenged me to consider that we would never tell a young child to dream mediocre dreams, to aspire to goals that are “less than” what they might desire. We don’t tell a child, or at least I hope we don’t, not to dream big because it is grandiose or presumptuous to want to accomplish something in life. My niece’s 7 year old has mentioned she wants to be a Lego Master. So why not?! She’s immensely talented at it and there are such individuals called Lego Masters in the world. Whether that comes to pass or it morphs into some other creative, and equally talented, skillset of planning, designing and creating, it doesn’t matter. I want to encourage her to believe in that dream! I would not dare to tell her to focus on something less exciting!

Fr. John of Monk Mindset continued to suggest that we might spend some time in prayer and discernment about the deepest desires in our hearts. It reminds me so much of Ignatian Spirituality and the notion that God is discovered when we spend time reflecting on the desires of the heart. In true discernment, we explore those desires that are ordered toward God, that lead to greater faith, hope and love of God. In that discernment we will uncover something that God might intend us to desire and pursue. When we have identified a spiritually noble and ambitious dream, then we have to courage to ask God to aid us as we run confidently toward it.

These dreams would not be petty desires or visions of grandiose and self-promoting accomplishments. Fr. John reminded that we need to be open to and allow room for purification and alteration of those desires toward the will of God in our lives. In prayer and contemplation, we weed out the disordered attachments and desires and seek those that best use our gifts and talents to serve God and others. I always thought, why would God want me to be an accountant when my heart does not move in that direction. So I don’t have to fear asking God what ways I can best serve.

I was also reminded, seeing a recent post from Hay House, that Louise Hay, an author and founder of Hay House Publishing, began her life’s work late in life. After a divorce and cancer diagnosis she began to write and at the age of 62 opened her publishing company, which remains a leader in the world of self-help and personal fulfillment publications. Do I desire to open a publishing house or author several books? No, but perhaps some of the other ideas that I lay in bed and dream of deserve a bit more reflection, prayer and discernment.

We can all make a difference in the world by using our gifts and talents. What are your dreams that lay dormant? Spend some time this week and reflect on ways that your future might be as grand as God imagines for you.

One of the best commercials I have seen so far is by Toyota with young girls repeating positive affirmations from their father in a car. The tag line is “Every destination has a beginning.” What’s your destination?

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

Image: created in Canva

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The journey of peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our Lady of the Way, praying for peace, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

In today’s Gospel from Matthew (Matthew 5: 1-12a), Jesus gathers his apostles, and the growing crowd of disciples and followers, and shares the familiar Beatitudes with them – these words shared are a radical blueprint for the heart for those of us searching for answers. Although I’ve heard these verses many times, they spoke to me with a new weight this year. Ever since the Vigil Mass on Saturday, words like ‘peacemakers,’ ‘persecuted for righteousness,’ and ‘hunger and thirst’ have been nudging me to spend more time with them. What am I being called to do? How might I move beyond hearing the words and make them become a part of my life? What is my role to help embody the words at a time when our world needs more light and peace? I don’t have the answers, so I have gathered a few favorite quotes from many that I respect and turn to for wisdom, with a prayer that they might help me understand the words Jesus is calling us to live. I also share a personal example at the end of how we are invited to reflect on our own journeys.

As a Benedictine Oblate, I begin with St. Benedict and the peace he advocates in our daily living of The Rule, from the Prologue: “Let peace be your quest and aim.”

Pope Leo XIV, yesterday in his address to participants at the “Political Innovation Hackathon: One Humanity, One Planet” Conference, said “there can be no peace while humanity wages war against itself—by discarding the weak, excluding the poor, and remaining indifferent to refugees and the oppressed.” He said “Only those who care for the least among us are capable of accomplishing what is truly great.” He urged the young people to seek peace always.

Dorothy Day: “If peace is to be built, it must start with the individual. It is built brick by brick.”

St. Mother Theresa: “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

Anthony deMello: “Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”

Thomas Merton: “We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.”

Thich Nhat Hahn: “Peace in every step.”

Lastly, I share the personal experience from my reflection during Adoration this past Wednesday on the Buddhist monks walking for peace. I prayed to let their walk continue to plant seeds of peace in my heart. That they might encourage me to spread a message of peace in my own way. I contemplated the number of people they are influencing by their walk and their daily messages. I continue to write in my journal each morning, “Today is going to be my peaceful day.” I paused and thought about others, like the Peace Pilgrim, who have journeyed for peace. Then God reminded me he has a sense of humor and is listening to all these silent prayers and yearnings.

I reached down and picked up my copy of the new book, Encounter Grace: Moments of Hope, Joy and Peace, by mentor and friend, Becky Eldredge. I opened and turned to pages 36 and 37 and read the two reflections “A Call” and “Healing Power”. In “A Call”, Becky wrote that we are invited to pray for the grace of getting to know Jesus more intimately as we journey through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. “It means not only hearing the call to follow Jesus but also to WALK with him and be there working with him.” Then in “Healing Power”, Becky reflected on the ways that Jesus healed others and the impact it had on her. She invites us to consider that it is through our connection with Jesus in our “inner chapel” that “his power moves from him to us.” When we do that, we “encounter Jesus the same way Jesus encountered people tangibly when he was WALKING around the earth.” (Using caps for both quotes here is my emphasis.) I laughed out loud, quietly because I was in Adoration, but I thanked God for reminding me of Jesus’ constant effort to be and share peace. I can turn to scripture just as easily as I can turn to YouTube to see where the monks are walking today.

So today, in whatever way is most helpful for you, consider how you are and might be sharing a message of peace to those around you. We all need it so desperately.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Image: A photo of a banner at Subiaco Abbey in Subiaco, Arkansas taken during an Oblate conference.

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Go by another way

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, epiphany, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I sat down this morning to do social media work I have been hired to do, before starting this blog, and I heard a bird calling. It wasn’t the typical wrens or sparrows of the morning. It was clearly not cardinals or blue jays I hear in adjacent neighborhood trees. It’s too early for robins. It was distinct, different. I immediately got up to find it, in the front yard, or in my backyard tree. I couldn’t find it but I kept looking as it kept calling out. It stopped me from doing anything else, I couldn’t resist the invitation.

I wonder, as I reflect on the wise men in today’s Epiphany story, if these magi had the same urgency to respond to the unique star they were seeing, seeking the important event it was foretelling. It’s easy to ignore those inner promptings, whether as simple as the little bird I heard, or as illuminating as a distant star. We pass them off as impractical ideas or a passing flights of fancy.

Sometimes the way will find you, even if you go another way.

This Fall I listened to a talk, either by Fr. Bonafice Hicks or Sr. Miriam Heidland (my journal notes weren’t clear as I looked back), and a reference to a new book by Bishop Eric Varden on Chastity and how chastity, and Bishop Varden’s description of chastity, speak of a reconciliation of senses and a love of beauty. I had listened to Bishop Varden online in the past, and enjoy his teaching, so I ordered it immediately. Once it arrived, and I attempted reading, I quickly realized I was in over my head. I set it aside. I picked it up again at a later date and came to the same conclusion, I was not going to get the point so easily captured by the review I listened to.

During a recent homily, my pastor spoke of Bishop Varden, so Friday I dropped off the book, thinking he might enjoy reading it and would certainly be a better student of the concepts than I was. I consider myself fairly adept at spiritual literature and theological teaching. Not an intellectual, but also not completely amateur to spiritual reading. After all, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Siena, St. John of the Cross aren’t kindergarten reading and I enjoy spending time with their writings. I handed over the book as well as any hope of being able to understand it.

Friday night I was listening to a daily session of Minute Monk on the Hallow app, led by John Cannon, founder of Monk Mindset (a website but also a paid app released in 2025). The reflection was given by Fr. John on the Feast of Saints Basil and Gregory. He began talking about the Tools of Good Works in the Rule of St. Benedict and the love of chastity. He described chastity, not as an absence of sin, but as a good desire, a virtue, a mark of a human being fully alive. He then referenced Bishop Varden’s book on Chastity. I literally laughed out loud given that I handed over the book earlier in the day.

Ok, God I am listening, I exclaimed. Where are you leading me?

The summary was an excellent one, much like the one that led me to order the book in the Fall. Fr. John continued to describe chastity not as a list of do’s and don’ts but as an re-establishment of wholeness. It restores our senses to see and truly love, is a marker of integrity and allows us to see the world in truth, to have a contemplative spirit. It leads us to be more clearly attuned to our ultimate purpose of loving God and others.

For clarification for those who might be confused about chastity versus celibacy (a vow or state of being to remain unmarried and chaste), chastity is a broader virtue of having fidelity, sexually, to one’s state in life, whether being married or unmarried.

The instance wasn’t for me a reminder of living a chaste life, but instead was a reminder of living a contemplative life, focused on love and compassion for others (Compassion is my chosen “word” for 2026). It was a reminder that being free of other responsibilities, I have desired a life dedicated to prayer, contemplation and monastic virtues. But lately I have questioned how I have been living that commitment. How deep is my love of others when I react harshly, with judgment, to those I encounter? Am I seeing Christ in the other?

This morning, the USCCB social media pages, released a reflection on the Feast of the Epiphany by the Most Rev. Ronald Hicks, Archbishop-designate of New York and Bishop of Joliet. Even though he is Bishop in the nearby Diocese of Joliet, I have learned more about him recently as he has been introduced to the people of New York. He talked about how his experience of living in Central America transformed him, his experience of the people and the culture, changed him. He said that when he encounter Jesus and his word, in scripture, and the sacraments, when we care for others, we go home by another way. We are changed and we are challenged to carry that Light, that we have experienced, out to others.

Let it be so.

Wishing you a week of abundant hope and joy, Deena

Image: a photo of a sunset, a moment of beauty.

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The story of our families

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christmas Peace, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Family Stories, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Francis, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I have been reflecting this morning on the journey of my grandparents from Italy to Ellis Island, then on to Illinois. My grandmother was born, on this day, December 28, in 1898. She met my grandfather during the war. He traveled here first to get a job and then my grandmother came after. They had three children here. My grandmother lived, caring for her young children after my grandfather’s death, by first working in a factory and then in later years sewing for others. My other grandparents lived in the area as well, after migrating from Slovakia. My great-grandfather died in the Cherry Mine Disaster in 1909, when my grandfather was a young boy. The family name was changed for ease of describing who people were and where they came from while they worked, so the last name on one of the few tombstones in the Cherry Cemetery represents the area in Slovakia that he came from and then the name that became our family name here in the United States.

During the holidays I also recalled so many wonderful family occasions with aunts and uncles that are no longer with us. All families with struggles and accomplishments, just like any other family. My mother and father worked hard, in a variety of occupations, to provide for us. We moved from Illinois to upstate New York then back to Illinois again as my father followed his career and then desire to open his own business. My mom, a nurse, ceased her career to work alongside my father for over 25 years.

I am sure you have similar stories and history. Parents trying to provide for and do the best that they can for their children. Perfect? No, not by any means. But the family that we are one with and come from, the families that make us who we are, for better, or motivated to change. If you don’t know, or haven’t shared your family story, make a point to do so. There are so many details that I wish I had now, but they are gone with the memories of those who held them. But I am grateful for countless images captured in photos, like the one I share today, before we stored everything on our phones.

Today we celebrate the Feast of Holy Family, a young family also journeying in life, with Joseph doing his best to care for his little family. December 28 also recalls the death of the Holy Innocents, the young boys massacred because of a cruel and jealous king who couldn’t stand the thought of someone having more authority than him. The message that Joseph received, to flee to Egypt, saved Jesus from this horrible persecution.

Today, Pope Leo XIV reminded us that the world “has its ‘Herods,’ its myths of success at any cost, of unscrupulous power, of empty and superficial well-being, and it often pays the price in the form of loneliness, despair, divisions and conflicts.” He asked us to pray for all families suffering due to war and violent conflicts. We can pause and pray for all those families who, like our own families, are trying to find a better place in the world to live and flourish.

So today, reflect on the family that helped form you into the person you are today. Tell stories and share memories, so that they are passed on. If you are lucky enough to have them, spend time with old photos and recall family celebrations and gatherings.

Then as Pope Francis wished in his 2020 encyclical, Fratelli Tutti, “Let us dream, then, as a single human family, as fellow travelers sharing the same flesh, as children of the same earth which is our common home, each of us bringing the richness of his or her beliefs and convictions, each of us with his or her own voice, brothers and sisters all.” (No. 8).

Wishing you abundant joy and peace with the family memories that you hold, Deena