Category: Coming home to myself

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The practice of peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, lifelong learning, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, visionary faith1 Comment

Have you found yourself irritated with others, or with life/the world, because events weren’t turning out as you had hoped they would? Maybe it’s more than a hope, but an expectation, that circumstances should be different. We (me!) can stress and worry about situations in life, but frequently find we have little control over it. As a reaction I often retreat, inwardly, or even physically, to my inner being, and home, preferring silence and solitude. My desire is to keep a constant connection with Spirit, throughout the day, focused on the things that really matter instead of the mundane and passing concerns that can consume so much time and energy. Some days are easier than others.

I have to catch myself when the repeated tape of a conversation, or of the behavior of someone else toward me, begins to rewind over and over again. I laughed out loud this morning reading a post by personal development author, life coach, and speaker, Cheryl Richardson, as she described the thoughts going through her mind as she took a shower. She stopped herself and said “Cheryl, come back, there are too many people in this shower with you!” I replied, “Girl, I hear you!” I laughed thinking of the countless times I have been in the same situation.

I have been encouraged in my practice of being in the presence of God, more mindful of Spirit and connection, as an alternative to mindless worry over past or future events, as I have been rereading a book by Brother Lawrence from the 17th century, Practice of the Presence of God. I was encouraged to read this small book in the 1990’s, along with Abandonment to Divine Providence, written in the 18th century, by one of my parish priests. Both have been helpful books on my spiritual journey. Lately, I have been using an updated translation by Ascension Press, which has been much easier than reading the original book I have. The book has gained much popularity after Pope Leo XIV wrote an introduction to a Vatican edition of the book, indicating that this book was one of the books that has shaped his spirituality and awareness of knowing and loving God. Pope Leo has advised that the journey of practicing the presence of God, is an arduous one because we have to renounce all of the other things that seek our attention, so that we can keep our focus centered on God.

And isn’t this the goal of Christian mindfulness, and a practice of centering prayer and contemplation? We desire to turn away from the clamor and noise of the world seeking inner peace and union with the Divine.

Brother Lawrence advises that we turn away from everything that distracts from that union, so that we can be in constant conversation with God. We pause, we turn to and rest in the Divine Presence. Simple but challenging. We seek to empty ourselves of the things of the world, from anything that does not lead to God. Brother Lawrence approached all his duties and responsibilities within the Carmelite monastery in this way, as an opportunity to practice the presence of God.

Just as Brother Lawrence had his tasks to complete, so do we. Practicing the presence of God does not mean we quit work, give up enjoyable hobbies and activities, or retreat to a monastery. I do find it is easier having fewer responsibilities outside of the home, but even those activities become opportunities to serve and be aware of God’s presence as we undergo them and encounter others in the process of doing them. It brings a different perspective to our engagement in them.

While the “practice” Brother Lawrence speaks of reminds me of Ignatian spirituality, finding God in all things and seeking only those things that bring us closer to God, he did not seem to be concerned with guidance from others, except in sacramental confession, or considering consolations and desolations in spirit. He simply returned his gaze to God and to the things that would be pleasing to God, despite any suffering or distraction.

With a similar message, Pope Leo XIV, in his video message to the 50th Summer Youth Conference in Steubenville, Ohio this weekend, encouraged youth to look for peace, for “true and perfect joy”, in the love of God instead of from others, or from social media and other electronics. He pointed to the life of St. Francis, and the peace Francis found, and shared with others, that looked different, and less appealing, to others, until they encountered him. They experienced the peace that he found within, in his relationship with God and a focus on lasting joy and happiness.

I hope that as I continue to practice the presence of God, less concerned with the opinions and actions of others, I will find that same level of peace and joy experienced by Brother Lawrence, Francis, other saints and mystics, and those who have followed them. I pray that this peace is experienced by others who I encounter. It’s a lofty goal to be sure, but one worth remaining committed to.

As always, I wish you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image: a small wall hanging I purchased in Assisi, Italy. Pace e Bene means “peace and all good” or “good peace”.

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Wistful summer memories

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Coming home to myself, contemplation, creative well-being, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, mental wellbeing, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey6 Comments

Last night I noticed the first firefly (we called them lightening bugs growing up) of the season. I paused and watched, there was another, and another. I moved to a different window, opened it wide and watched them as they moved around the back yard, around the tree and plants in my flower beds. Soon, my cat, Butters, jumped in the screened window and watched them too. His head darted back and forth as each one lit in the landscape below.

I watched in delight. I inhaled the balmy summer evening air with birds still chirping, but more quietly than earlier in the day. The evening was calm, fewer cars and noise than usual. It was a picture perfect summer night.

I began to reflect on summer evenings of my youth. Nights on the front porch, growing up in a neighborhood where it was common to sit outside and visit. On occasion, after our baths, and dressed in pajamas, we would go for a ride to The Root Beer Stand for an ice cream treat, bugs buzzing under the canopy lights, as a car hop would bring a tray to the car window.

We vacationed in Wisconsin many summers while I was growing up. I can recall only a handful of memories from those summers. I remember the deer we fed by hand. Or the firetruck my father insisted my brothers and I got on so he could take a picture. I exclaimed the leather seat was too hot but he wanted a picture. I still have the photo, legs tucked up near my chin and dress pulled down over my knees. Funny how the picture takes me right back to the feelings I was having.

I attended a local summer camp, Camp Saint Claret (I think we called it Camp Claretknoll). It was a historic summer camp operated by the Claretian Missionaries on the Claretknoll property. The camp was literally a few miles from home but I felt as though we were transported to a different world. I had no idea at the time it was a missionary founded organization. I really can’t recall what we actually did there but thinking of it brings back to memory nights of campfires and scary stories.

I remember my Noni’s garden. Besides her vegetable plants, the garden border was always full of peonies and roses. She loved her garden and I know she planted those seeds in me as well. We would pick dandelion from the yard, so that she could eat the greens in salad, long before the days of chemical treatments on lawns. She taught me about picking and sautéing zucchini flowers.

I love my flowers and adding new varieties to the flower beds each year. But, I gave up gardening vegetables. After my mother died, I lost the joy. I carried on the tradition of planting vegetables, after my father died, which he took on with gusto after my grandmother passed away. Mom and I planted tomatoes, peppers, zucchini and cucumbers. Dad’s garden was always much bigger, priding himself in the lettuce, onions, garlic and sweet corn. Thinking of the garden also evokes lovely memories with my mother, grating zucchini for bread and cooking tomatoes for sauce to use all winter. Perhaps the spark will return one day.

Do you have a favorite summer memory? Or perhaps a summer tradition you grew up with and still share with your family today? I would love to hear it. You can reply in the Facebook or Instagram post, or on my website, so others can enjoy reading it.

Wishing you summer days to savor and that bring you peace. Deena

Image: With my “Noni” in her garden.

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Becoming who I am

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, contemplation, creative well-being, Doing what we love, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey4 Comments

Earlier this week I listened to a vlog “The Elegant Haiku” and read the accompanying blog by Michael Kroth. In his video he said something that immediately caught my attention. I stopped the video, backed it up and played it again. I wrote it down in my journal and it’s been on my mind ever since.

Michael said: “What we practice becomes who we are.”

His feature article this week was regarding his journey, learning about and writing haiku, as a daily practice. He began in 2019 as a result of attending a workshop by poet, author, and friend of ours Judith Valente (you have seen her name here in this blog many times). It may have been about the same time that I attended a retreat given by Judith at the Monastery and was also introduced to haiku. Michael decided to make it a practice. I have tried multiple times but give up. I judge, criticize, and analyze. (Frankly it surprises me that I continue to write this blog each week.) Michael’s haiku poetry is very good. He and friends even published a book, Framing the Moment; Haiku Conversations, together after sharing their haiku with each other.

Haiku is a form of Japanese poetry, consisting of three lines, in a format of 5-7-5 syllables. I have seen multiple variations or adaptations but most use this format. It sounds simple but I would invite you to look outside, or at an image, and capture the essence of it, or how it makes you feel, using that format. It challenges us to find just the right words to express a feeling or insight. It calls us to slow down, choose carefully and purposefully. It is way to be present and mindful.

In one of Judith’s latest books, How to be a Contemplative (also mentioned by Michael in his blog), she shares her wisdom about slowing down in our hectic, often distracted, lives. If you are challenged to wind down at all, much less write a three-line haiku, I invite you to explore Judith’s book.

In addition to incorporating a practice, or desire to learn something, in our lives so that it becomes more closely aligned with who we are, I believe it also creates some sort of magnetic attraction to bring more of the same to us. Since reading Michael’s post I have seen and read so many compatible posts, poems, and book titles that encourage me to pursue and stay focused on the things that point me in the direction of who I am becoming and what I desire to have more of in my life.

I have a long list of things that I would love to be better at, that feel like they express who I am or who I want to be. So, I must ask myself why I am not pursuing them more enthusiastically – fear of failure, fear that I can’t ever be those things as proficiently as I want to be, that I will be judged…? If there is one gift of rapidly approaching 70 years of age, I have noticed that I am more easily gravitating toward not caring what other people think. But, there are moments. When I sense that feeling of doing something for approval, versus authentic desire, I think I have to grab myself by the shoulders and say “move on, let it go.”

Michael might be surprised to know that I have saved a little stack of his delightful pieces of mail, that he calls Haiku Drops (today’s image of the envelopes, not his poetry), since “meeting him” at a workshop with Judith. I pull them out from time to time if I need to take a peaceful pause during the day. Other times they just make me smile when I open the drawer I have them in, and see them. My point of sharing that is that our desire to learn and share something with others might be just what they need on any given day. So, if it makes you happy, continue to pursue and practice it, and share it with others!

Wishing you endless moments of being really happy with who you are, and who you are becoming, this week! Deena

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Choosing joy

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Doing what we love, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

This weekend I am participating in a virtual cross-stitch event. This is my second virtual event, hosted Lindy Stitches, and I am hooked! It includes classes, talks, virtual rooms to join to stitch together and chat, and of course, a shopping area.

I began stitching last Fall, with a free Halloween chart I have never completed. But I fell in love and wanted to learn more, so I began researching, watching YouTube videos (stitching video updates are called Flosstubes), immersed myself in the language (yes, there really is a whole lingo that tells people what you are doing and what stage of the process you are in with a project) and began buying designs, and fabrics, created by more notable names in the stitching world. I have finished some small pillows and I probably have 6 current projects in process (called WIPs) at the moment and a created a whole system of organizing the paper charts that I purchased and will begin stitching one of these days. I have a daily Book of Days that journals my stitching, purchases and wish lists. I won’t begin to tell you how many downloaded PDF, digital, files I have saved! Right now there are lots of patriotic charts available for America’s Semiquincentennial, so many of us are working on those along with other projects. I think I have three started at the moment! Yes, I got passionate about stitching! Every single day includes something related to stitching.

Saturday, listening to a “meet and greet” session with Jacob de Graf, designer and owner of Modern Folk Embroidery, and an expert in a variety of quaker, traditional, period and Frisian samplers, I heard the most insightful advice that I have been reflecting on since hearing it. While Jacob offered the advice to stitchers, I thought it is was wise counsel for us as we journey through life.

Stephanie, of Lindy Stitches, asked Jacob what advice he had for stitchers. He quickly said (and will discuss further in his class on Sunday, which I am very excited about), “don’t feel bad about your stitching, you are doing fine!” His suggestion is not compare our stitching to other stitchers or to work we have seen online. He adamantly told us not to apologize for our work, for errors we make, but to be happy with what we are doing. As a new stitcher, constantly judging the speed at which I am stitching compared to others in Facebook groups that seem to produce finished projects overnight, his perspective was encouraging. He said the important thing to ask is whether we had fun stitching and whether working on our projects is bringing us joy. He concluded by saying that if anyone attempts to make us feel bad about our work, then they really aren’t our friend, so move on and keep stitching!

I can think of countless times this week I judged my efforts, not just in stitching or other creative projects, or endlessly berated myself for making a mistake, saying something I wished I hadn’t, or for not accomplishing a task the way that I think someone else has.

Stitching, drawing or journaling, making cards, or even, gardening are things that I do to relax and that bring me joy. Jacob’s sage advice reminds me to keep my focus there. Research tells us that creative projects can reduce stress (I still have to share some thoughts from my talk on neurographic art!), which is why I continue to make time for these things each day.

Why then would I diminish the benefit of those endeavors by judging my work or comparing it to others?

Society and social media brainwash us to do so, for sure. But those of us who have sought to find our personal worth and value in the things we do, or produce, have a history of that behavior to alter and replace. I think it is time to turn that thinking around. It is time to simply find joy in the creative acts we participate in each day, whether it is drawing, stitching or other needlework, arranging flowers or making a meal. Add a garnish, make it over the top even if no one sees it. Share it with friends, real friends who support you. The image I chose for today is an art journal page I created in a class last year. It has been the cover for my Creative Well-Being page on Facebook, a page to encourage others to express themselves in creative practices.

Wishing you abundant joy in all you do this week. I hope some of it will be creative! Deena

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Offline and in tune

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faith4 Comments

This weekend, as we begin this new month of May, I am on the team and participating in an aromatherapy retreat – Rooted in Wisdom, Rising in Light, hosted by my friend, Kate Brown. The speakers are skilled in their individual areas of expertise and are offering insightful and compelling insights. We are learning and experiencing many interesting new concepts and tools/processes for grounding, balancing, and raising our energy. My talk, Thursday evening, was using an experiential process of drawing neurographic art, which can help create new neural pathways to reduce stress, alter ingrained and rigid thinking, reduce stress, and promote more flexible thinking. It was entitled, Shaping your Future: Using Art and Creativity to Vision the Life You Desire. (Kate and I created a blend of Orange, Peppermint and Geranium essential oils which help with openness, clarity, harmony and heart-centeredness which we used while drawing.)

The retreat participants are staying at a lovely venue in Northern Illinois, a little over an hour north and west of my home. I opted to drive back and forth for a couple of reasons, so the days have been pretty long. As a result, I have only been online long enough to check in, create posts for the parish social media pages, Kate’s business page and read a few that pop up while I am logged in.

In all of our sessions we are talking about honoring our energy and boundaries, respecting our needs (like sleep!) and reclaiming parts of ourselves that we have have set aside while we were attending to other things and people.

As I got home Saturday evening, with a vast array of topics I could write about swirling around in my mind, I decided that taking a break this week was what I really needed.

I invite you to think about times that you keep going when what you really want to do is pause, take a break and attend to your own needs. Once you are of those situations, consider whether you could go offline, take that pause, and just tune in to your own spirit and well-being.

Take a moment, you deserve it!

Wishing you rest this week in whatever ways you need it, Deena

Image: Peace hope and love at Stronghold Retreat Center, Oregon IL

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A listening heart

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender novena, The Spiritual Exercises, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The problem with getting hundreds of emails from authors and speakers that I follow is keeping up with them all. The amount of compelling content to read can be overwhelming each week, so I read some, scan some for the highlights, and then save for later. I recently stopped to read a blog I had saved, written by Eric Clayton, author and Director of Communications for Jesuit Conference of Canada and the United States. I met and began reading Eric’s book and blogs during my time at Ignatian Ministries. He’s a wonderful writer and I am often inspired by his essays in his weekly “Now Discern This“.

The email that I re-read was regarding a trip to the bookstore and advising his daughters that they could pick out one book, not a toy or game. Eric made a selection of three books, from all of their choices, that he thought they might like. The youngest, unamused with the concept of making a decision declared they should get them all. Eric used this as a lesson in making a choice.

Eric goes on to write, to each of us, the beauty of the tools of discernment given to us by St. Ignatius of Loyola. We must understand our limitations, he explains, and understand that we can’t have it all. We use the tools of discernment to help us align our gifts and talents with God’s will for us.

I am grateful for my time at Ignatian Ministries and our use of the Ignatian Discernment tools in every decision we made. The tools of discernment taught by Ignatian Ministries founder, Becky Eldredge, as well as authors such as Eric Clayton, Fr. Timothy Gallagher, Fr. Kevin O’Brien, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux, Fr. William Barry, and countless others, help us tune in to the thoughts and feelings we are having as we pray and make decisions. These tools, first considered by St. Ignatius of Loyola as he was convalescing from a battle injury, help us to identify “good” and “evil” spirits impacting us in our daily lives, as well as movements of consolation and desolation, we are feeling as we consider decisions or ways of responding to particular situations.

These don’t have to be used in huge life changing decisions, such as what job to take, where to move, or whether we are being called to a vocation. They can be used practically, such as Eric’s example of helping his daughters make a book purchase or in our daily prayer.

This past week I began a novena for a specific intention. It wasn’t an intercessory intention for someone in need or as stately as world peace. It was something more closely related to my life. By the third day I began to feel a sense of desolation about my prayer. I brought it to reflection during Adoration and quickly realized I had the plan all figured out. I had my request and the outcome all set. I began to “feel” God respond to me and say, “that might be the right outcome” but “let go, let me handle it. I can see far wider than you can.” At that point I changed my intention to “whatever is best…” I almost immediately felt the desolation change to consolation, and accompanying feelings of peace, calm and a willingness to hand over my request to God.

Becky Eldredge has frequently shared her insights on “Testing Desires” in her workshops. The first step Becky suggests for us helped me this week: Check the source – did it come from God, from my humanness, or from a false spirit? Next, where did the desire leave me?

I could feel in my spirit that my specific prayer was not leading me closer to God. I knew I had to let the outcome go and trust the process. I may not understand completely what I may be led to, but I feel better praying for what is best and for an outcome that will help me be the person God created me to be, rather than what I think is best for me in this moment.

If you would like a free resource on the Steps of Discernment, you can download it from Ignatian Ministries (IM) website or search the IM blog, Into the Deep, for articles on discernment, consolation or desolation. Another amazing resource, for all things Ignatian, is IgnatianSpirituality.com.

I wish you abundant peace and calm as you go forward into this new week! Deena

Photo: prayer candles at a church in Orvieto Italy.

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Guides on the journey

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, contemplation, Easter Hope, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, lifelong learning, ora et labora, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Our Oblate group met this weekend for our monthly prayer and discussion group. One of the questions in our reflection guide was a quote by Esther de Waal (Spiritual writer, Benedictine and Celtic author and scholar) from her book, Living With Contradiction. The quotation referred to respecting our own solitude, revering our identity and recognizing the mystery each of us are, so that we can then recognize that in other people. The reflection question pertained to all the tools (art, music, nature, prayer, meditation, etc) and individuals that have helped us understand who we are and helped us find our direction in life.

One of our Oblates shared a lovely story how being baptized in her childhood, right before receiving her first Communion, gave her greater appreciation for the sacrament, her faith and the journey that she was beginning. It was touching, as we each shared how all of those “tools” helped us in the past and continue to nurture us today.

I left the gathering continuing to bring to mind all those individuals who at different times, and in different ways, have helped shape me as a Catholic, an Oblate, and a devoted follower of Jesus. I pondered how this Lent and Easter Season I have been growing deeper in my understanding of myself as a beloved daughter of God. It’s easy to say the words, listen to them, and read them on paper, but it’s a different story to begin to believe it at a deeper level, at a soul level. To really “know” it.

Eleven years ago today I was beginning a pilgrimage journey to Spain and Portugal. I recall fondly how my friend, and our spiritual director for the trip, shared love and concern for us, desiring that we each grow closer to God spiritually. as we journeyed physically through the beautiful sites we visited. Visiting the sites of favorite saints, such as St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and St. James helped me connect on a deeper level with them because it was felt emotionally as well as physically by being in the places they walked, taught or are buried. Those guides, physical and spiritual, forever changed me.

These journeys we take in life, physical, emotional, and spiritual, shape us, for better or worse. I wonder how I might have altered the experience of different times in my life if I had recognized more fully the love that God has for me. How might life have been different if I had a better understanding of the depth of that love, respected myself in my actions because of who I belong to and was more amazed at the mystery of who God created me to be?

It’s easy to get caught up in, or distracted by, all of the events of the world around us. I spotted this in the disciples on the Road to Emmaus in today’s Gospel reading from Luke. Of course, they were surprised when it seemed that Jesus, who they weren’t recognizing at the moment, didn’t seem to be aware of all “the things that have taken place” in Jerusalem over the past three days. As they walked, he taught, guided and then opened their eyes to who he was and how everything in scripture pointed to the fulfillment of centuries of prophecies.

Isn’t it true that when we encounter a true teacher and guide on our journeys that our hearts burn in the same way as they did for the disciples listening to Jesus? Aren’t we stirred to the core when we hear the truth of who we are being called to be in life? Isn’t there a thrill of recognition when we see and hear more than we believed up until that moment? Hopefully we are moved beyond that current place we are in life and desire more, are changed to act in a different way, and desire to live life more aligned with this new way of thinking.

Spend a moment today and reflect on who one of those teachers might have been for you. How have you been transformed as a result of their guidance and care?

I hope and pray that I recognize those teachers presented to me along the way, that I listen and am transformed into being a better person as they guide and inform me. I pray this for you as well.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Image: A garden and walkway in Santiago de Compostela, Spain.

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Go sit in your cell

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Lenten journey, mindfulness, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

When asked for a word of wisdom, Abba Moses, one of the early desert fathers, told the seeker “Go sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” The journey of Lent is one of going within, engaging in disciplines that help us see, hear and respond more freely to the call of the Christ. This week I was called deeper into the desert.

After picking up the remains of my cat, Bela, on Tuesday, I felt a desire, and an inner call, to greater solitude. I needed space to process grief on many levels, not just losing Bela. I picked up some groceries, advised a couple people who needed to know that I wouldn’t be participating in “normal” activities for the remainder of the week. I turned within. I did have some text or phone conversations as needed, did some required social media posts on sites I post for, but spent the week reading, reflecting and journaling. I created a personal and private retreat in my home. Just like entering a silent retreat and questioning whether I would be able to gracefully encounter the time in silence, Wednesday morning I questioned what I was doing, I “should be…” Fortunately those temptations were met quickly and I easily fell in the rhythm of my self-created retreat.

When we set aside time and space for reflection, it’s amazing what shows up. Or perhaps, the quietude invites greater attention to the world as it always is around us, without a blur of motion, internal and external. For most of us the mind is a turbulent ocean, or sea, waves crashing and distracting us all of the time, but when the waves calm down we can see into the depth of the sea more clearly.

I was invited again this year to imagine receiving an empty clay bowl from Abba Arsenius, another of the early desert fathers, (Retreat: A Different Kind of Lent) as I had been given in the past. In the bowl we can visualize all the activities that fill up the bowl each day, distracting or addictive behavior, and then intentionally empty the bowl to create a spacious place to receive what is more life-giving.

Not everything I read or encountered was spiritual or faith reading. Most was. I also listened to a discussion by an author and life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who I followed more closely several years ago, but have been tuning into more frequently lately. She offered simple self-care wisdom during these challenging times we are experiencing. (These were offered in a quite humorous and sarcastic way, such as eat more sugar, make sure you always have your phone so you don’t miss a social media post, read every comment on them, and of course, stay up late each day!) I felt a longing for activities, or information, like that from my past. Things that were authentically me, things that inspired, shaped and formed me. Somehow they became “less spiritual”, a bogus assessment of where one is capable of experiencing God or Spirit.

I stitched – if you have stitched, crocheted, knitted or maybe even done puzzles or diamond art, you know it can become a method of quieting the mind. A stitch in, and a stitch out, can shape a slow pace for mindful breathing. It can become a way to let go, creating a framework for a quiet pause.

St John of the Cross said, which was often shared and made popular by Trappist monk, Thomas Keating, “Silence is God’s first language. Everything else is a poor translation.” In stillness we can hear what is more essential. Nothing I “heard” or read this week was an earth-shattering revelation, but I was awed, and grateful for, the insights that did form throughout the week. Like the Samaritan woman in today’s Third Sunday of Lent gospel, I have been at the well thirsting for a drink. This week, during my quiet pause, I was given a long, cool, refreshing drink.

It’s not practical for me to be able to retreat completely like that every week but I can certainly create more quiet spaces each day. I also want to continue to assess that my daily activities are done from a place of desire or service, not expectation. If any of this sounds inviting to you, perhaps you can consider some time in your day for a sacred pause to turn within and listen.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: my purple bowl, a visual to remind myself to fill it more consciously and lovingly with things that matter.

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Led into the desert

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a thin veil, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, hope and healing, Laudato Si, Lenten journey, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting1 Comment

In life we are led to places we don’t want to go. I have struggled with a thousand questions this week, none of them with life-giving answers that help me in my grief. The desert provides a vast and stark landscape, with few distractions, so we have room for answers to emerge. I am learning that the answers will have to emerge, in their own time, they do not break through as a result of my willing it. Perhaps that is why we are given the symbolic period of 40 days in our own Lenten journeys to mirror the days that Jesus was led into the desert to pray, fast and be tempted. We need time to “rediscover what our hearts truly desire when the distractions fall away” as so beautifully stated in the opening of the Laudato Si’ reflection for the First Sunday of Lent.

What I desired for Lent was to enter a desert time to be free of the distractions that were filling my time with things other than prayer and reflection. Now the distraction of all my questions is consuming my time, impacting the desire for prayer and reflection, even more than going out for coffee would have done.

Given the temptation of changing this situation, just like a rock into a loaf of bread, I would probably say “yes”, change it. I would not be strong enough to resist the temptation. I want Lent to be different than it is.

If you are finding you have a similar mindset as you look at the distractions in your own life – wishing to change circumstances to be a person more centered in prayer and meditation, to be a person of peace and lovingkindness and more compassionate towards others, to want to give more of your time to those in need – you are not alone. I hope for each of us that the desire for these good works is in itself a grace. As also stated in the reflection by Laudato Si’, the distorted desire for the things (my add – of the world, more fleeting in nature) that are pleasing becomes a distraction, they fragment us, not free us.

This weekend in my journaling and reflection I read something written by Rainer Maria Rilke that I am trying to sit with. He invites us to “have patience with everything unresolved” in our hearts and to love the questions. “Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given now, because you would not be able to live them. The point is, to live everything.” I must have hope in that, to live with the questions so that the answers slowly emerge as part of living into them. Just as I have hoped by writing my “peaceful day” statement every day for months is a slow drip of water smoothing the jagged edges of my heart, I have hope in this guidance by Rilke.

Let each day be what it is. Lean into the questions. Hold hope that they are all part of a larger transformation taking place.

Wishing you a week of peace and hope, Deena

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Start with a dream and dream big

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Dream big, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom2 Comments

I love the Opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and the Winter 2026 Opening Ceremonies did not disappoint (ok, it’s in Milan and Cortina, so I might be a bit biased). I loved it all – Andrea Bocelli, the dove image and message of peace, the adorable Italian hand gesture lesson, the all female color guard in Armani suits, the colorful flowing paint tubes, dancing composers and, (seriously? How creative and representative of Italy!), giant colorful moka pots, I was thrilled.

Beginning with a sequence of the winter athletes watching their younger selves practicing their sport was an inspiring first segment for the Ceremonies! Having watched young people grow into adulthood, in my own family, with their specific goals and ambitions, and achieve those dreams is equally inspiring. I paused to reflect how some people are so inspired at a young age to pursue a goal, and the relentless practice to accomplish it. It’s a gift to be so confident and determined.

On Friday I was reminded that we are all encouraged to dream big. A reflection by Monk Mindset challenged me to consider that we would never tell a young child to dream mediocre dreams, to aspire to goals that are “less than” what they might desire. We don’t tell a child, or at least I hope we don’t, not to dream big because it is grandiose or presumptuous to want to accomplish something in life. My niece’s 7 year old has mentioned she wants to be a Lego Master. So why not?! She’s immensely talented at it and there are such individuals called Lego Masters in the world. Whether that comes to pass or it morphs into some other creative, and equally talented, skillset of planning, designing and creating, it doesn’t matter. I want to encourage her to believe in that dream! I would not dare to tell her to focus on something less exciting!

Fr. John of Monk Mindset continued to suggest that we might spend some time in prayer and discernment about the deepest desires in our hearts. It reminds me so much of Ignatian Spirituality and the notion that God is discovered when we spend time reflecting on the desires of the heart. In true discernment, we explore those desires that are ordered toward God, that lead to greater faith, hope and love of God. In that discernment we will uncover something that God might intend us to desire and pursue. When we have identified a spiritually noble and ambitious dream, then we have to courage to ask God to aid us as we run confidently toward it.

These dreams would not be petty desires or visions of grandiose and self-promoting accomplishments. Fr. John reminded that we need to be open to and allow room for purification and alteration of those desires toward the will of God in our lives. In prayer and contemplation, we weed out the disordered attachments and desires and seek those that best use our gifts and talents to serve God and others. I always thought, why would God want me to be an accountant when my heart does not move in that direction. So I don’t have to fear asking God what ways I can best serve.

I was also reminded, seeing a recent post from Hay House, that Louise Hay, an author and founder of Hay House Publishing, began her life’s work late in life. After a divorce and cancer diagnosis she began to write and at the age of 62 opened her publishing company, which remains a leader in the world of self-help and personal fulfillment publications. Do I desire to open a publishing house or author several books? No, but perhaps some of the other ideas that I lay in bed and dream of deserve a bit more reflection, prayer and discernment.

We can all make a difference in the world by using our gifts and talents. What are your dreams that lay dormant? Spend some time this week and reflect on ways that your future might be as grand as God imagines for you.

One of the best commercials I have seen so far is by Toyota with young girls repeating positive affirmations from their father in a car. The tag line is “Every destination has a beginning.” What’s your destination?

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

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