Category: Coming home to myself

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Big changes start small

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, contemplation, creative well-being, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, monastic prayer, ongoing catechesis, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, visionary faith3 Comments

I was taking a picture of the sunrise this morning and turned to notice that the leaves on the tree in the backyard were beginning to change. The days have been cooler, the morning and nights magnificent, so the changes into Fall are beginning to take place. The purple flowers on my Ruellia Brittoniana (Purple Showers) have been decreasing in number each day. But the mum is beginning to open and show its color. I leave the windows open longer in the morning and open them back up again for most of the evening. Pretty soon our Illinois Valley will be aglow with vibrant oranges, reds and yellow leaves.

I have been tackling a large project in the house, projects I have put off a long time. Earlier this week I couldn’t even breathe as I began to think of the enormity of the task. It would literally take my breath away, paralyzing me instead of motivating me into action. I told myself to begin with one small task. That moved to another. Pretty soon I felt like I was making progress. Cleaning and getting rid of items is a big enough challenge but when there are emotions tied to them, it can become oppressive.

This week we celebrated the Beatification of Blessed Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen in our Peoria Diocese. The pre-Mass talks were excellent and some quite moving for me. The Mass was amazing! Growing up watching Blessed Sheen on TV, and then more recently with talk of his beatification in our Diocese, and path to sainthood, I am very familiar with stories of Sheen’s life. I have visited and prayed at his tomb, since it came to St. Mary’s Cathedral, many times. The events leading up to this week certainly renewed an understanding of the faith life of this holy man. Fulton Sheen has often said that his knowledge and insight can be attributed to his prayer life. He prayed a Holy Hour, in front of the Blessed Sacrament, every day.

To see so many faithful people attending the events in Peoria and St. Louis has been spirit-reviving. But it has also been a bit overwhelming, just like my household project. I desire to live a more faithful, and prayer-filled, life than I already do. It feels like there is such a huge gap between what I desire and the way I live my faith life.

As I have been writing this, Stephanie at Lindy Stitches, the host of the virtual stitching retreat I am attending, read an essay she wrote, during our virtual coffee hour. She affirmed the topic of this blog for me! Talk about synchronicity! Here are a few tidbits. I hope she shares it in a PDF for us. If so, I will share.

“…Good things take time. Really big things like Douglas Firs take decades to grow… Lovely things take time, they don’t happen overnight, you can’t pay for them to hurry up. Slow things made with intention are valuable things… Cross Stitch is being productive in a way that is slow, but man, that way is slow! … I don’t have to be productive all the time, that’s not the way I want to live anyway… What’s the point of all the time saving devices, just to work more? … Real beauty requires a human mind, a human hand and a human’s precious time.”

AMEN to all of that.

Just as the season are changing slowly and we relish it, this post is a reminder to myself, to go slow and have faith that the changes are happening, albeit slower than I prefer. I hope this reminder speaks to you too.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image – my tree in the backyard this morning.

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Holding space for hard truths

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, gratitude practice, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Seeking Peace, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Being honest about the thoughts we have, and the beliefs they represent within, can be challenging. It’s probably easier to ignore them with other thoughts like – it’s just a bad day or I’m not that different than everybody else. But if we really want to grow spiritually, personally or emotionally, it’s not a good idea to ignore looking at thoughts and reactions as they come up.

This week I’ve had some challenging invitations to go a little deeper.

Earlier this week I took a seminar with Reform Wellness and one of the introductory comments was “If Christ isn’t the center of your life, something else is.” There can be a million “something else’s” for each of us. It can be other people, jobs, opinions, status, fear or anxiety, money… I am sure you can think of some that are, or have been, true in your life. I definitely had to spend some time thinking about all the things I let guide my decisions or reactions that are not my relationship with God. Instead of looking outside for answers, we were invited to take those concerns we have and sit down for an honest conversation with the Lord. Seems simple, right? But am I willing to hear the answer that may come?

There were scripture passages that challenged me this week as well – Simon and his judgement of the woman with the alabaster jar, the parable of the sower and the seed that falls among the thorns and is choked by anxieties, riches and pleasures in life, and finally, today’s Sunday’s gospel parable of the harvest workers being paid, by the landowner, the wage for an hour of work as the workers who toiled all day.

Diana Butler Bass wrote an insightful article, in her Sunday Musings, regarding envy versus jealousy. She wrote “Envy is a murderer — of our own souls, of others, and of the possibility of communion and community. Envy drives us to have more, to take what we think we deserve, to beat others at the game.” I looked at my own reactions to others or events, desiring to be honest about them. But what surprised me even more was what it brought up about my feelings about injustice I see in our country and my constant, daily, plea, “Why are they getting away with this? God, when are you going to do something about it?” Sure, I have my vote (and that’s important), but how else might I be called to look at, and deal with, those feelings of anger and disgust?

There were a long list of items I would have preferred to write about today. I read emails and commentaries that responded and reacted so much better than I could, so I will leave that to more proficient writers than me. As a quick note, if you haven’t read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper post, How We Fight, I would encourage you to do so. I think it might be my favorite article of all her articles that I have read. Maria has great insights on approaching the battles we fight, personally or as a society. I agree and want to try harder to implement this approach.

Besides being open and vulnerable, as Shriver suggests, I think it is also important to look for the wondrous moments that present themselves each day – the rain, the moments in between the rain, the cooler temps… simple, little moments can become moments to pause and be grateful.

Today’s photo image is a “grateful” plate I set out this time of year. I purposely left the dark shadow in the photo as I took it, because I think worry, stress, judgement, etc can be an “opposition voice” that gets in the way of our gratitude if we let it.

This week, if moments to look within and be honest arise, approach them gently and then look for ways to be grateful for the insights they are providing.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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Holy labor and holy rest

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Life of purpose, monastic prayer, ora et labora, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore the community should have specified periods for manual labor as well as for prayerful reading. Chapter 48 – Daily Manual Labor, The Rule of St. Benedict

The purpose of work in the monastery is to serve the community and fulfill all the tasks for the daily operations of the monastery. Tasks such as kitchen duty and being porter of the door are outlined by St. Benedict. But in all aspects of The Rule, there is always room for adaptation due to weather, the season of the year, or the age or “fainthearted” nature of the person performing the work. I love this about The Rule. There are guidelines but a wise abbot or prioress knows we all have different capabilities and endurance levels.

There have been times that I have viewed my work as fulfilling a purpose and serving a common good. Perhaps I was helping people by making their work lives easier by offering customer support or solving problems for them. Honestly, there are also times that I questioned what the value of that work was in the larger scheme of things. How I viewed the value of my work was probably closely correlated to how happy I was in the role. I would definitely make different decisions about work I was engaged in given the chance to do it over again.

But it’s also important to remember that I might not see the entire picture or purpose for the work I was doing, or the lives I might have impacted, by my presence there.

I read a newsletter earlier this week by an author I follow, Laura Kelly Fanucci, “Work Without End, Amen”, that reminded me of this important perspective. Fanucci offered a new piece of information, to me, about Bishop Ken Untener that I admired during my years living in Michigan. Laura shared that these lines written by Bishop Untener are often attributed to Bishop Oscar Romero because of a Christmas address given by Pope Francis, and a paper written by Cardinal Basil Hume. The lack of clarity ended up aligning the words with Romero.

Untener wrote: “We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.”

Fanucci concluded, “I can picture both brother bishops shrugging. Who cares? What matters is the work. What matters is the mystery that Jesus called the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven or the life of the world to come. What matters is that we got to be here at all. What matters is that we get to roll up our sleeves again and dig into the dirty dishes of being human. What matters is the work without end. Amen.”

This week I lamented the passing of poet, novelist and environmental activist, Wendell Berry. I am so grateful for his extensive writing and recorded talks, but his voice will be missed. In light of Labor Day, and the subject of my blog this week, I share these words by Berry:

“Teach me work that honors Thy work, the true economies of goods and words, to make my arts compatible with the songs of local birds.

Teach me patience beyond work and, beyond patience, the blest Sabbath of Thy unresting love which lights all things and gives rest.“

Let us seek to find value in our labor each day, whether it is caring for our families (and pets) at home, serving our parish community, assisting as a volunteer at an agency helping others, or still actively engaged in paid employment. Our work becomes an extension of our prayer when we try to serve and praise God in how we view those daily tasks. May we also seek to refresh and nourish our spirits by taking time to rest in the Love that is surpasses all of our human endeavors.

Wishing you deep and soulful rest this Labor Day weekend. Deena

Image: a small chapel on the grounds of Subiaco Abbey, Arkansas

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It’s a delicate balance

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, curious and receptive, discernment, Every day Catholic, lifelong learning, mindfulness, nurturing growth, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Turning 70 can definitely have an impact on your perspective in life.

It has given me the opportunity to reflect and be grateful for the friendships I have and the ability to spend more time with and appreciating them. I have, for the most part, everything I need and have decided I want to simplify in many areas of life. I can also relax the longing to figure out “what I want to do with my life”.

It makes each day seem even more precious.

I have been impacted, as so many of you have, by the images from Nepal. People who were sitting on a bus at the border crossing, or walking in the streets of their village, swept away by the flash flooding. Fortunately, there are stories of survival but for so many the loss is inconceivable. Friday night we also learned, in our Illinois Valley area, of the tragic loss of a young boy in a car accident, with the mother and brother surviving. Again, lives changed in an instant.

Regardless of our age or situation, each day is a gift.

This morning I read an article by a needlework artist who shared some thoughts after attending a Vince Gill concert. She’s a big fan so is aware of the goals he has, such as 50 years into his career, taking on a project to create 12 extended play releases. One might ask Gill, why not relax and begin to take it easy? She wrote that when Gill was questioned about it, he replied that “he doesn’t have as many years left to be creative — so it matters to him more than ever.  And then he said he’s having the time of his life, just having a ball with it.” She used his story as an analogy, encouraging us to “learn a new stitch” or “start a new canvas” or “become the artist you’ve always wanted to be”.

I have always had the tendency to put off things – I can’t do this until … one more class, one more book, one more technique, etc “before I am ready”. My friend Kate taught a class this week, The One More Thing Trap, that encouraged us to look at all the “one more things” we tell ourselves that have to happen before we can be the person we want to be. When we do that we lose the ability to feel present and connected to where we are right now. Note: you can still access the replay to this free class by registering for Kate’s class here.

My cross stitch, and other art projects, have become a beautiful metaphor for living life. They have become a living reflection of my journey. Taking life more slowly and deliberately. Living and acting with intention. Trying bold new projects. Simply having fun. Each day is like a project, taking it one stitch at a time.

Regardless of your age, 30 or 80, my wish is that this week you enjoy the moments as they come along. Be present. Be adventuresome. Savor them.

Wishing you abundant joy, Deena

Today’s image: I noticed a dragonfly on my “purple showers” the other day. He was simply sitting on to the edge of the leaf. Moving with the wind as it swayed. I wondered if he was stuck. After several minutes, he flew away. He reminded me to land lightly, settle softly, and enjoy the moment.

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Be open and keep learning

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Cultivating growth, growing in faith, nurturing growth, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

One of the things I am most enjoying about my new hobby and passion for cross stitch is that there is so much to learn. Groups I am in share tips and tricks for stitching on various fabrics or ideas and ways to mix colors for floss (thread) that you don’t have in your “stash” or to make a pattern your own style. I can’t think of a day in the past 11 months that I haven’t learned something from watching another stitcher.

One of my favorite designers, and floss tube creators, is Jacob de Graaf of Modern Folk Embroidery. He’s a multidisciplinary artist but an expert in traditional style, period reproduction, Quaker and Dutch/Frisian samplers. As we are journeying through a stitch-along for the month of August working on our Fast Frisian sampler, Jacob has been sharing his sampler collection and the research he has done to learn about the young girls that stitched the samplers, the schools or orphanages they attended, and the families and villages that they grew up in.

The past two weeks, in our daily stitching videos, he has taken us on a journey to various cities in the Netherlands to visit art museums, landmarks, and the quaint 600-year-old-city that he grew up in. It has an historic canal, a waterway that was a thoroughfare, that connected Friesland to Germany. Because of that, his town received their “city” status. Jacob took us to lakes, gardens and a lovely working windmill. I will probably never visit the Netherlands so I have been soaking up the sites and information he has shared with us.

In today’s image I have shared my progress on our sampler, as well as the desired end result showing Jacob’s chart and design. I am behind on my Frisian samplers as well as other “stitch-alongs”, due to a lot of birthday celebrating this week, for which I have no regrets and am grateful for the opportunity to celebrate with friends. Hopefully I will catch up this week. But as another floss-tuber said this week regarding her stitch-along, there are no stitching police, do what you can and have fun. Great advice for life as well.

Today, in his Angelus address for the Twenty-First Sunday in Ordinary Time, Pope Leo XIV reminded us to remain open and resist the temptation to think that we have learned all we need to about our faith. Pope Leo reflected on Matthew’s Gospel and Jesus’ question to the disciples, “But who do you say that I am?” Pope Leo suggested that Jesus calls us to give a personal response to this question, to continually rediscover our relationship with Jesus in the Gospels, reviewing and renewing the choices we make each day to be sure they are consistent with the faith we profess to believe.

If we attended Catholic schools, or religious education programs, we might be tempted to believe that we have learned everything we need to live a Christian life. I have found in the many books I read, or retreats I have attended, that my relationship with Christ is ever changing. My most common prayer during weekly Adoration is, “what do you want me to know or see today?” I am often surprised by the answers or insight I receive in prayer.

Pope Leo offered us these questions as suggestions to pray with: “Who is the Lord for me? Do I truly know him? What is his Gospel asking of me today? What steps and what choices am I called to make?”

Maybe there is a book you have seen that would offer some time for quiet reflection each day. Perhaps a retreat or Day of Reflection. Sometimes they are virtual, so you don’t actually have to take time to get away, although I do believe there is great benefit in removing ourselves from the daily distraction of being at home, with tasks to be done attempting to grab our attention. Our parish, as many do, will begin adult education programs for those interested in learning more about the Catholic faith, in preparation for receiving the Sacraments at Easter, but are open to those who want to rediscover and learn more about the practices of our faith. Check with your own parish, even if you have been away for a while, if that sounds interesting to you. Certainly you are welcome at Holy Family Parish if you don’t have a parish you call “home”.

This week think of an area of your life that you have grown complacent. How might you learn something new and gain some knowledge about it? Perhaps you are feeling called to grow deeper in your faith life.

I’d love to hear about it in the comments if you wish to share what that might be or what you learned.

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

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Crowding out the chaos

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Cultivating growth, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, monastic prayer, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

My brother and I own the duplex that I live in. We have a tenant renting the other side. I have several plants in the flower beds on that side of the building but I have not planted as many as I have on my side and I don’t take the time to care for it as well as mine. For the past couple of years the weeds have been atrocious. I have tried rock, heavy mulch (lots and lots of heavy mulch!), landscape paper, but the soil is just lousy. The weeds seem to thrive in it. I have been putting off getting over on that side to clear the weeds again. Friday I decided I needed to get out there again, but I had a new idea. I purchased some ground cover, as I have in many areas of my flower beds, and planted to see if it will eventually grow and crowd out the weeds. I only completed a small section and I really wanted different ground cover than the ones I found, but it’s a start!

Planting the new ground cover is fresh on my mind this morning as I reflected on the Gospel reading for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Matthew’s second accounting of the storm at sea has the apostles in the boat, alone without Jesus, as a storm brews and overwhelms them. In this version, they see Jesus in the distance as he walks toward them on the water. We are all familiar with Peter calling out to Jesus, Peter walking out to him on the water, but then begins to sink as he takes his eyes off Jesus. Our pastor, Fr. Paul Carlson, shared an insightful homily of the two storm versions in Matthew’s gospel and the need to keep our focus on Jesus as we navigate the storms and turbulent waters of this world. He reminded us that as followers of Jesus, “we need to be able to walk on the difficult seas [in life], but not be swallowed up by them.”

It’s not easy some days. The noise and turbulence of the world can overwhelm us just as the sea did to the apostles in the gospel. The weeds can take over and crowd out the good plants, in our spirit and soul, unless we replace the weeds with better plants. We need to blanket the soil of our minds and hearts with quiet time of prayer, reflection, and soul time with God. We are able to keep our eyes on Jesus, and less on the world, by who and what we devote our attention to.

I’m not sure if it’s age, or wisdom, but I find myself cherishing the quiet, alone time at home, or at church, more than I ever have in past years. Whether reading, listening to podcasts, gardening, stitching and reflecting, or simply in quiet prayer, it’s easier to be at peace. Perhaps it isn’t what I am turning toward but what I am turning away from. Likely, it’s a combination of both. Regardless, life is more serene and tranquil when I do so.

At this point in my writing journey of publishing this blog every Sunday for over three years, I have to check titles to make sure I haven’t used it before. This by itself is a task in creativity. I searched and found a previous post titled, “Clearing the Weeds”. I reread it and was reminded of a somatic technique called SNAP that author, and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, developed. In the blog I share the meaning of the acronym, and briefly how to use the technique, to manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. I had forgotten about it, and in addition to prayer and contemplation, this simple technique is a great way to recenter in moments of stress. You can click here to read that post:https://deenapavinato.com/2025/06/22/clearing-the-weeds/.

This week I encourage you to find ways, that are helpful to you, when you need to clear the weeds in your own inner landscape. Find ways to be still. Then check in and see if it makes a difference in your day and your outlook.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s image: One of the small areas of pachysandra, a ground cover (Japanese Spurge), in my flower beds, that my friend Kathy and I fell in love with at Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and have been adding to our flower beds this year. It’s growing nicely and next year I will be sure to add more to both sides of the duplex.

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On the lookout for peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeking Peace, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Women Mystics2 Comments

During the Covid pandemic years I took several online classes, retreats and programs. One of those was a Women’s Mystics School offered by Spiritual Wanderlust, an online community supporting aspects of the interior life and exploring wisdom teachers in the contemplative tradition, modern psychology, philosophy and spirituality. It was always my favorite Saturday of the month to listen to and learn from the speakers invited to present to us. In 2022, we looked at the life and writings of modern mystic, Etty Hillesum.

Etty was a Dutch Jewish woman killed in the concentration camps in 1943. Etty was a well-educated woman who suffered from severe depression and sought help from her analyst, Julius Spier, who became her mentor, friend and lover. Spier encouraged her to keep a journal or diary. Those writings were published after her death in “An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork.” Etty wrote reflections on things she read by Carl Jung and Rainer Maria Rilke. She wrote about her relationship with Spier. She wrote of her inner world. During the German occupation, Etty refused to go into hiding. She was forced to go to Westerbork, one of the transition camps, for Dutch Jews. From June to September 1943 she writes from Westerbork before being transferred herself to Auschwitz before being killed in November at the age of 29 years old.

What I found striking during our study of Etty’s writing was how she attempted to look at the situation she was facing, the trains and the faces of those being boarded on them, the German guards, and her own perspective and relationship to a God who dwelled deep within her. She tried to find and give love, build community, in the little ways she could while helping others in the transition camp. She focused on living fully, holding suffering and beauty simultaneously, despite the conditions she was facing. She didn’t focus on a God, external, in the midst of the turmoil in her country and the world. Rather, she experienced God in the deepest, richest parts of her being, and found rest and shelter there.

I was reminded of this study a couple of weeks ago, reading an article on Hillesum by Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation. Rohr shared several of Etty’s writing in his reflection. They seem relevant for me today.

Etty reflects on the war she is seeing around her and writes, “Why is there war?… Because I and my neighbor and everyone else do not have enough love. Yet we could fight war and all the excrescences by releasing, each day, the love that is shackled inside of us, and giving it a chance to live.” We don’t have to look to war torn countries. All we need do is look to our current government and how our legislative representatives interact with each other and those they disagree with.

In today’s Gospel for the Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, (Matthew 14: 14-21) Jesus is “moved with pity” seeing the crowds following him, seeking guidance and his teaching. In the famous scene, the apostles are concerned for the thousands gathering around them, needing food, and asks Jesus to spend them away. Jesus initially responds to their request by saying that the apostles don’t need to send them away, but to feed them. They, of course, resist and say what they have is not enough. Jesus then feeds the crowds and abundant leftovers are gathered.

How often do we resist and say that we are just one person, we don’t have enough (time, resources, confidence) to make a difference in the world?

Even on a smaller, more personal level, Hillesum writes that we fight so many small battles, within, each day, that sap our energy. She offers instead that we must “not allow ourselves to become infested with thousands of petty fears and worries, so many motions of no confidence in God…. Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Silencing those small voices that insist on promoting unrest within can be challenging. Add social media to the mix and the voices seeking to drown out peace get louder and louder. So, I might be missing out on an update from a friend, or local area news, but reducing the amount of time I spend on social media, or on the news, saves the little bit of peace I can control.

Hillesum writes, speaking to God, “One thing is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well… You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend your dwelling place inside us to the last.”

This week I choose to be more on the lookout for peace than unrest and for small ways that I can make a difference with my humble fish and loaves.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: St. Francis statue, a garden in Assisi.

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Calming the mind

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, contemplation, creative well-being, mental wellbeing, mindful breathing, mindfulness, monastic prayer, ora et labora, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit2 Comments

Last weekend was the most delicious pause to stitch and learn from designers, and those with a presence, in the stitching world. It was filled with lots of laughs and mutual support, which I am finding to be the hallmark of the stitching community. Last September I saw a Halloween chart and decided I was going to learn to cross stitch. I had never purchased a piece of fabric or floss for stitching. I have become obsessed with my new hobby. I love learning tips and tricks, of course. But more than anything else I love hearing the journeys of stitchers and creators that I follow. The husband and wife team of Artsy Housewife, Gigi the designer, delight me with their stitching and stories. Stephanie, a competent designer and owner of Lindy Stitches (an online store for all things stitching), shared a self-deprecating video of her 10 biggest design flops this week, not to solicit support or sales, but to share her thoughts for those who might be trying their hand at designing charts. As usual, she had me laughing! I am constantly amazed at the wisdom of Jacob de Graaf, a designer from the Netherlands, who is an expert on antique samplers. His own designs are influenced by Quaker samplers and designs from the Netherlands and Scandinavia. I have selected two (what am I thinking?!) designs for my August birthday stitch and as part of a stitch along he will be leading. The list of designers, makers, and regular stitchers like me, who share their insights, journeys and projects, that I watch and learn from is endless.

But, the best part of stitching is the quiet, steady, peaceful flow state I enter each and every night as I work on projects. Other concerns, or mindless chatter, fall into the background. Each stitch becomes a tiny win for the day. They are little victories that release feel good hormones like dopamine. Knitting and crocheting do the same for those engaging in those crafts, also said to support emotional regulation and good brain chemistry. As our brains lock into the single task at hand, the brain gets focused and feels safe. I am changing and growing with each project I stitch, not only in confidence but also a sense of who I am as a person. I began learning about the neurological reactions of crafting, journaling and drawing, and the impact on our overall well-being, when I began experimenting with and studying neurographic art last year. By focusing on the process of drawing simple lines and curves, we calm down and relieve stress. This alone can help us find solutions to issues we might be dealing with.

My prayer and contemplative practice has slowed down and become more centered as well. It has become easier to quiet the mind when it is racing. I can pray as I stitch – each stitch, each breath, clear a space to listen more attentively.

Another practice I was introduced to this summer was helpful as well. As I have shared, and written, I am a Benedictine Oblate. Generally each day, besides praying the psalms, I try to read The Rule of St. Benedict, which guides our daily living in the principles of stability, mindful work, and hospitality to others (welcoming the Christ in all persons). The Rule is broken down into small nuggets, or chapters, for each day of the year. There are many excellent commentaries on The Rule, which studying as an Oblate, help us find relevance for living in the modern world.

I was gifted a version of The Rule, “Suscipe me, Domine” compiled by a men’s monastic community in Norcia, Italy. I read one of the reflections on “Unceasing Prayer in the Rule of St. Benedict” that has significantly transformed my prayer life. Many of us are familiar with the “Jesus Prayer” prayed by the Desert Fathers and early Christian monks as a way to practice continuous prayer. It is certainly a version that I could have chosen. The reflection stated that St. John Cassian, who had a significant impact on St. Benedict’s writing of The Rule, advocates one prayer, “an all-purpose invocation” that can and should be prayed by monastics at all times, as transition from personal prayer to communal prayer, for those in an abbey or monastery. Cassian’s recommended verse was “O God, come to my assistance. Lord, make haste to help me.” This is a typical verse recited, or chanted, as the opening line for specific “hours” of prayer, such as Morning and Evening Prayer, in the Liturgy of the Hours. I began using this verse at various times of the day – when I sat down to pray but didn’t want to pray standard prayers or intercessory prayers, when my mind was racing with a concern that I wanted to quiet, during weekly Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and at 3 or 4 a.m. when I wake and sense that my mind wants to begin to spin out of control. Breathing slowly and repeating this simple prayer has been powerful! I would encourage anyone with “monkey mind” to give it a try. I’d love to hear your experience after practicing it awhile.

Lastly, finding ways to slow down and tune into our breath can be an amazingly simple practice to bring calm into your day. Whether stitching, praying a simple mantra, or sitting quietly in a chair paying attention to the breath, I am confident you will introduce more moments of peace into your day.

If you would like to learn more about breath practice, my friend Kate Brown, and her teacher, Valerie Sorrentino, will be offering a free live Zoom experience this week, Room To Breath, on Thursday, July 30th at 6 p.m. CT. You do not have to have previous breath work experience to participate. You will learn more about intentional breathing and two simple practices from Valerie’s program. I hope you will join me there! I will provide the link below (for those on social media, you may have to click the link to my website to access it).

I wish you a week that is steady, calm and full of peaceful moments, Deena

Click here for link to Room To Breathe

Today’s image: One of my 9-month patriotic stitch alongs, Remember the Ladies as part of America the Beautiful, by designer, Teresa Kogut.

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Taking a Sunday pause

On By dpavinatoIn Coming home to myself, creative well-being, taking a pauseLeave a comment

I hope you are having a great weekend. I am attending a virtual stitch event and trying to keep up with watering the plants in all this heat. I have been contemplating different topics for this week. As I was looking through my photos for an image to match, I saw this one and it just said “pause” to me.

Stay safe if you are being impacted by the air quality from the fires in Canada. Please keep all those more directly impacted and fighting the fires in your thoughts and prayers.

Wishing you a peaceful week, Deena

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Cultivating growth

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Cultivating growth, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, nurturing growth, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Tending the garden, Trust the journey2 Comments

I planted a new shrub this Spring. I was looking for a full sun plant, for the flower bed in the south of my duplex, that gets direct sun morning until late afternoon. The Potentilla fruticosa ‘Jefman’, or Mandarin Tango Potentilla, was a vibrant green when I planted it and I anxiously awaited the vibrant orange-yellow flowers promised during the summer. I know there is some adjustment time but began to be concerned as I noticed signs that it was not thriving as well as the Japanese Pieris I planted at the same time on the West side of the duplex, protected from the sun by neighboring building. As the weather warmed I decided to move it to the West side, to a section shaded even more than the Pieris. I hoped that the new environment would be the right place to flourish and grow. You can see in today’s image that it seems much happier in this new location.

Some of the flowering plants I have in pots love the hot days and direct sun. My favorite summer plant, Ruellia brittoniana (also called Desert Petunia, Mexican Petunia or Purple Showers), recommended by Tad, owner of Seatonville Greenhouse a few years ago, will produce and drop gorgeous purple flowers every day. While it loves the heat and sun, it requires daily watering, sometimes twice. Gardening experts will advise to water deep but not daily, but I have learned that it depends on the plant. Each variety requires different care.

Today’s Gospel, for the Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, is the familiar gospel of the sower and the seeds. Jesus shares the parable of the farmer that scatters seed, seeds falling on the path with no soil to sprout, rocky soil not deep enough to establish roots and encourage growth, thorny soil that choked out the tender seed growth, and rich soil that allowed for growth and abundant crops. Of course, it’s a lovely analogy for our spiritual lives and the soil we tend to allow a vibrant relationship with Christ.

We are the gardeners of our lives. We choose, consciously or not, the environment that will allow for growth or choke it off. The things we think, the content we consume (online or written word), the people we choose to spend our time with, and the time and energy we allow for learning new things become the garden of our future. Some days might feel like nothing is progressing, circumstances might look and feel like failure, but perhaps we just need to tend to the “soil” to encourage growth, like my Potentilla needed a new area to allow for growth.

We need the right soil, sunlight, mindset and circle of friends to support us on our journey of becoming who we want to be and what we hope our lives will become. I have always been an introvert (at the heart of who I really am, regardless of activities and involvements) and I know people perceive that I am becoming even more so. But as I reflect on it, I believe it is just being more selective about the things and people I spend time with. I want to do things and be with people that add value on my journey, and allow me to do the same for them.

I am carefully watching some weeds creeping up on some flowers in a flower bed. I hurt my wrist, after a fall in the flower beds earlier this week, so I have to tend to healing but I know that if I don’t get those weeds removed soon they will choke off the other plants. What are you spending your time on? Are they activities that inspire you and lift your spirits? Take stock of the people you are surrounding yourself with, are they supporting and encouraging you?

Seeing the results you want in your life takes attention, time and daily care. Check in on your “garden”, how’s it doing?

Wishing you abundant peace and growth this week, Deena