Category: mental wellbeing

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Choosing joy

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Doing what we love, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

This weekend I am participating in a virtual cross-stitch event. This is my second virtual event, hosted Lindy Stitches, and I am hooked! It includes classes, talks, virtual rooms to join to stitch together and chat, and of course, a shopping area.

I began stitching last Fall, with a free Halloween chart I have never completed. But I fell in love and wanted to learn more, so I began researching, watching YouTube videos (stitching video updates are called Flosstubes), immersed myself in the language (yes, there really is a whole lingo that tells people what you are doing and what stage of the process you are in with a project) and began buying designs, and fabrics, created by more notable names in the stitching world. I have finished some small pillows and I probably have 6 current projects in process (called WIPs) at the moment and a created a whole system of organizing the paper charts that I purchased and will begin stitching one of these days. I have a daily Book of Days that journals my stitching, purchases and wish lists. I won’t begin to tell you how many downloaded PDF, digital, files I have saved! Right now there are lots of patriotic charts available for America’s Semiquincentennial, so many of us are working on those along with other projects. I think I have three started at the moment! Yes, I got passionate about stitching! Every single day includes something related to stitching.

Saturday, listening to a “meet and greet” session with Jacob de Graf, designer and owner of Modern Folk Embroidery, and an expert in a variety of quaker, traditional, period and Frisian samplers, I heard the most insightful advice that I have been reflecting on since hearing it. While Jacob offered the advice to stitchers, I thought it is was wise counsel for us as we journey through life.

Stephanie, of Lindy Stitches, asked Jacob what advice he had for stitchers. He quickly said (and will discuss further in his class on Sunday, which I am very excited about), “don’t feel bad about your stitching, you are doing fine!” His suggestion is not compare our stitching to other stitchers or to work we have seen online. He adamantly told us not to apologize for our work, for errors we make, but to be happy with what we are doing. As a new stitcher, constantly judging the speed at which I am stitching compared to others in Facebook groups that seem to produce finished projects overnight, his perspective was encouraging. He said the important thing to ask is whether we had fun stitching and whether working on our projects is bringing us joy. He concluded by saying that if anyone attempts to make us feel bad about our work, then they really aren’t our friend, so move on and keep stitching!

I can think of countless times this week I judged my efforts, not just in stitching or other creative projects, or endlessly berated myself for making a mistake, saying something I wished I hadn’t, or for not accomplishing a task the way that I think someone else has.

Stitching, drawing or journaling, making cards, or even, gardening are things that I do to relax and that bring me joy. Jacob’s sage advice reminds me to keep my focus there. Research tells us that creative projects can reduce stress (I still have to share some thoughts from my talk on neurographic art!), which is why I continue to make time for these things each day.

Why then would I diminish the benefit of those endeavors by judging my work or comparing it to others?

Society and social media brainwash us to do so, for sure. But those of us who have sought to find our personal worth and value in the things we do, or produce, have a history of that behavior to alter and replace. I think it is time to turn that thinking around. It is time to simply find joy in the creative acts we participate in each day, whether it is drawing, stitching or other needlework, arranging flowers or making a meal. Add a garnish, make it over the top even if no one sees it. Share it with friends, real friends who support you. The image I chose for today is an art journal page I created in a class last year. It has been the cover for my Creative Well-Being page on Facebook, a page to encourage others to express themselves in creative practices.

Wishing you abundant joy in all you do this week. I hope some of it will be creative! Deena

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Offline and in tune

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faith4 Comments

This weekend, as we begin this new month of May, I am on the team and participating in an aromatherapy retreat – Rooted in Wisdom, Rising in Light, hosted by my friend, Kate Brown. The speakers are skilled in their individual areas of expertise and are offering insightful and compelling insights. We are learning and experiencing many interesting new concepts and tools/processes for grounding, balancing, and raising our energy. My talk, Thursday evening, was using an experiential process of drawing neurographic art, which can help create new neural pathways to reduce stress, alter ingrained and rigid thinking, reduce stress, and promote more flexible thinking. It was entitled, Shaping your Future: Using Art and Creativity to Vision the Life You Desire. (Kate and I created a blend of Orange, Peppermint and Geranium essential oils which help with openness, clarity, harmony and heart-centeredness which we used while drawing.)

The retreat participants are staying at a lovely venue in Northern Illinois, a little over an hour north and west of my home. I opted to drive back and forth for a couple of reasons, so the days have been pretty long. As a result, I have only been online long enough to check in, create posts for the parish social media pages, Kate’s business page and read a few that pop up while I am logged in.

In all of our sessions we are talking about honoring our energy and boundaries, respecting our needs (like sleep!) and reclaiming parts of ourselves that we have have set aside while we were attending to other things and people.

As I got home Saturday evening, with a vast array of topics I could write about swirling around in my mind, I decided that taking a break this week was what I really needed.

I invite you to think about times that you keep going when what you really want to do is pause, take a break and attend to your own needs. Once you are of those situations, consider whether you could go offline, take that pause, and just tune in to your own spirit and well-being.

Take a moment, you deserve it!

Wishing you rest this week in whatever ways you need it, Deena

Image: Peace hope and love at Stronghold Retreat Center, Oregon IL

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Savor these days

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

I watched one of my cats, Butters, this morning after he finished eating and was ready to settle down for a morning nap. He walked the house and looked at all of his favorite spots before settling on his blanket on the couch. I will likely join him with a blanket later today and a steaming cafe latte. It’s a good day to stay warm and cozy after the rain and snow last night and, now, the chill and cold in the air this morning.

Friday I was beginning to feel the panic of the season set in – busy days with work, church activities and errands to get done. I cleaned up the cemetery, thinking ahead to Saturday and knowing that I should clean up a variety of pots at home too. I had some bulbs to get in the ground and transplant a plant from a pot to the ground before the cold. I started thinking about the Christmas cards and shopping that I haven’t started yet. I will be helping with a pop up ornament class at the unique shop that I do social media work for, as well as working two mornings a week. November has meetings and holiday events. In December and early January, I will facilitate an Advent book discussion for my parish. I found myself short of breath thinking about it all! I stopped and reminded myself that I didn’t want these next two months to be a blur of activity and stress but rather moments of prayer, worship, family, friendship, and celebration.

Yesterday I simply enjoyed the day. I went to the gym and coffee with my friend, Kelly. Then home to clean out the pots and get the plant and bulbs in the ground, with a heavy coat of mulch. I went to Mass and then dinner with Kelly and her husband, Mark. We laughed and enjoyed our dinner and each other’s company.

It all gets done. Whatever doesn’t, probably wasn’t that important. Or better yet, focusing on being grateful, celebrating Advent and Christmas, spending time with people and making memories is what truly matters. Stress and worry doesn’t help. It also prevents us from savoring the moments as they present themselves.

I am enjoying my Thanksgiving decorations before I move into Christmas. Each night, in the house, I light my candles, lanterns and sparkly pumpkin. When I decorate for Christmas, I leave those decorations up until at least Epiphany. Since it falls on January 4th this year, I will likely enjoy them until mid-January. The merry lights and decorations help with the darkness of winter. The decorations make me happy but also bring lovely family memories with many of them.

I want to move around and make the best decision for my spirit and my well-being, just as Butters did this morning. I want to pause and savor the moment just as I did as I watched this little bird, today’s post image, as it landed in my tree this morning, swaying with the moving branches in the wind.

Maybe you are like me though, and you have to remind yourself to slow down and savor the moments. I don’t want the days to be a blur of getting things done but not enjoying them. As we move into this busier time of year, I invite you to join me in taking intentional pauses to be present, aware of the people you are with and the things you are doing. I know it’s cliche but if today was your last day, would you be happy with how you spent it? Let’s step back from the rush and hectic pace and find ways to enjoy the things we are doing and the people we are with.

As Pope Leo XIV reminded us in today’s Angelus address, we are invited to walk in “the joy of being the holy People that God has chosen” to spread the Gospel message of love and mercy through our daily witness in life. I am pretty sure being stressed out and anxious isn’t the best way to share that message. So, let us be grateful to God for the lives and people we have been blessed with. Even with daily challenges, we can find something to pause and be grateful for. In doing so, we will likely be a bright light of hope to those around us.

I wish you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

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How you start your day

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, nurturing growth, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey2 Comments

Are your morning routines defined and predictable? Do you have things you do each morning that help you get ready for the day ahead? I have been reading lately that how you start your day, sets your day. I have a pretty reliable and set routine each morning but lately I have been questioning the effectiveness of each morning and also why I am not getting some of the reflection time in that I used to. I miss it and want to find a way to incorporate that quiet morning time back in my schedule.

I listened to Dr. Arthur Brooks, “the Happiness professor, best-selling author and Harvard professor, on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. He described his 6-step protocol each morning that he suggests will create a better day. He begins by getting up at 4:30 a.m. (Dr. Brooks cited a study that showed higher levels of productivity and creativity in those who began their day before dawn), after starting with an early bedtime the night before, exercising first thing (he has a gym in his home or when traveling only selects hotels with 24 hour gyms on premise), having time each morning to spend in spiritual reflection (he goes to daily Mass), delaying his morning coffee (saying that it improves focus and energy throughout the day) and has a high protein breakfast. Then he gets on with his day and makes sure his time is productive time by ignoring emails, the newspaper and social media until later, or checking hourly.

I enjoy listening to Dr. Brooks and his thoughts on happiness, reducing stress and anxiety, and spirituality. But I listened to these six points and felt like such an under-achiever! But to his credit, toward the end of the video, he said try it and adapt it to yourself, even inviting viewer response on how we might have changed it for our lifestyle.

Another routine I read was similar; plan the night before, get enough sleep, limit phone and technology use before bed, practice gratitude, hydrate in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, move your body or exercise, and practice mindfulness or journaling.

Last week, in an online class, we talked about morning routines and setting daily intentions. Our discussion was about finding a routine that works for us and being aware, or conscious, as we completed all the tasks each morning that feel like an obligation or perhaps even prevent us from doing these things I have listed above. The main point was changing our attitude about those duties that feel as though they are hinder us from doing things we would prefer to do, in my case, my quiet reflection and journaling time.

I tend to get up at 4 or 4:30, feed the cats but don’t always stay up and begin the day at that time. That might be a good place to start, but that also means I have to do a better job of getting to bed early so that I am ready to stay awake at 4:30 a.m. I love watching the sunrise, so I am usually up by then, especially recently as the mornings are darker longer (well, at least until next week). Before daily Mass I do the social media posts for my parish, then get ready for Mass. When I get home the cats usually want more attention, or food if they ate at 4 a.m., and I want my coffee! I do a terrible time with a healthy protein-rich breakfast. At one point I thought about a protein smoothie first thing, but read one natural health practitioner say not to have anything cold first thing in the morning. I hate eggs and don’t eat meat, or very little, so that rules out lots of morning breakfast options. Maybe the better choice is still selecting the smoothie, even though it’s cold, because I would begin the day with protein and fruit.

I have been, over the past few months, working as a social media assistant for two different entrepreneurs, one an independent training and holistic practitioner and the other a retail establishment. I have noticed I get drawn into social media more than I did in prior months by checking out posts and techniques used, which then leads down a rabbit hole of viewing other posts and updates. I would like to discipline myself enough to come home from Mass, make the smoothie (or find a better alternative), make my coffee and sit down to journal before I begin my online work activities. A half hour or so isn’t going to make or break the day for daily sales at the store or online enrollments! Based on Dr. Brooks video, it might make me even more productive and focused.

If you are a pet parent, you also know that you have to be flexible for changes in routine. The cats love the patio as soon as I get home and I am happy to open the doors and windows to get fresh air in the house. The holistic practitioner I mentioned above, regarding the cold breakfast, suggested getting 10 minutes of sunshine early in the day, so it would be nice to step outside with the cats for a bit. That would add 10 more minutes to a routine before beginning work. But seriously, 10 minutes isn’t going to prevent me from getting things done and might even help, by standing outside, taking some deep breaths and reflecting on the day ahead before I sit down to journal.

The gym usually gets delayed until afternoon, if I get there, because I prefer to go when fewer people are there and I can’t imagine adding one more thing to the morning before doing my online work. But that works for me and I guess that is the point of this discussion. My recommendation is take in all the ideas and suggestions about creating a great day and then do what works for you. By all means be flexible and spontaneous too. This Sunday morning I was asked to “play the organ” (i.e., hit the buttons at the right time) on our amazing organ at church, that Fr. Carlson programmed with the music for Mass. I wasn’t in the mood to begin this blog on Saturday evening, my normal writing time is early Sunday morning, but I also wanted to help and relished the idea of attending Mass again this morning after attending Vigil Mass on Saturday. So I am posting it later than normal today. The world isn’t falling apart as a result. Often, on Wednesday mornings after Mass, the ladies invite me to join them for breakfast or a friend might reach out and suggest meeting for coffee. Being social and spending time with people I enjoy is also important to me and my well-being, even if it means other morning activities are delayed a bit. I think the most important thing is that we feel that we are choosing versus reacting to the activities in our day, having a positive attitude and making the most of the time we have been given.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on starting the day in a way that sets you up for a happier, more joyful, day. What routine has been most impactful for you? Do any of these ideas sound like ones you would like to incorporate?

As always, I wish you a week abundant in hope and peace, Deena

Blog image: Bela deciding that he needed to be a part of my morning routine a few years ago.

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Whisper of the soul

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, nurturing growth, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

A few weeks ago an opportunity to apply for a position that 10, maybe even 5, years ago would have been a dream come true, presented itself to me. At that point in my life I would have considered moving to be sure that I would be as available as the position would require. I applied but as I reflected upon it, and listened to the voice within, I just knew it wasn’t the right time or role for me as I wind down my 60’s this year. I emailed and withdrew my name. Once I made that decision, in God’s timing and providence, I was asked to be a social media coordinator for a second client. It’s with a business that is very appealing to me and my personal interests. They carry products that inspire me and my creativity. Both of my part time clients are in the business of things that I enjoy. I feel that I am contributing, but am also challenged to learn and grow.

Saturday was the Memorial of St. Pope John XXIII, the Pope who convened the Second Vatican Council, to bring a breath of fresh air to the church, which resulted in changes to the liturgy (such as praying in English instead of Latin for those of us in the US, and the altar facing forward) and church structure. He was a humble servant, a humanitarian, and was an advocate for human rights and for peace.

I read a quote on a social media page reflecting on his papacy, which I fell in love with, so I wanted to learn more about it. The quote: “Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.” Pope St. John XXIII

I found the quote in a Papal Artifacts site that documented St. John XXIII and his accomplishments. But Google indicated that the quote is not cited in any specific papal document but seems very much in style of his Daily 10 Point Plan. The Pope’s “Daily Decalogue” was shared in a memorial Mass in 2006 by Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone. It includes daily resolutions such as living with a positive attitude, reading and creating a daily plan, and believing that he was created to be happy, believing in the Providence of God in his life and to do good in life each and every day. So I think the quote is still a good one to share and that that it represents the spirit of how St. John XXIII approached life.

This week grab a notebook or piece of paper and write down your hopes and dreams. Create your own personal “daily decalogue”, ways you would like to approach each day. I have a series of things I do each day, but not always in the morning. I have been reflecting that I would prefer to challenge myself to get up earlier each morning (or if I wake up at 4:30, which happens a lot these days, stay up) and begin my prayer and journaling. It is with focused attention and reflection that we get clear about what is important to us and what we desire in life. I have always believed that the desires we hold in our heart are calling us to use the gifts that God has given us in life, as long as they bring us closer to God and serve others in a life-giving way.

This past week was also the memorial of St. John Henry Cardinal Newman. One of his prayers, which I learned during Lay Ministry training in our Diocese in the 1990’s, has remained a favorite over the years. It also speaks of our soul’s purpose. I’ve shared it before but would like to share here again. I hope as you read, and pray with this, you are reminded that there is something specific you are on this earth to do. Listen and then follow that desire.

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about. (St. John Henry Newman)

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Image: Some plants, and an adorable sign, in my raised bed.

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Live light

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

I don’t really remember what the discussion was the day my spiritual director asked me, during the 9 months of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, what I would take if I had to leave my home immediately but I have never forgotten the question and my answer.

This week I read a daily reflection in Give Us This Day, by Maxwell Johnson in “Travel Lightly to the Kingdom” in which he asked “how easy would it be for any of us to pack up, pick up and go?” He was reflecting on the possibility of having to quickly pack, leave our homes the next day with the possibility of not being able to return, knowing we only had time to pack a few things. He asked us to consider what we would take, leave behind and then the ultimate question, “How much ‘stuff’ do we really need?” As I reflected on these questions I wondered if the things I possess are bringing me joy or are just a source of stress and anxiety. The questions are natural in later years, along with a desire to purge and live more simply, but they are good ones to ponder each day as well.

Certainly in areas impacted by weather threats like fire or hurricanes, the question has been a real one for many individuals in recent years. People being forced from their homes and their countries as a result of war have faced the same concern. I am sure they could tell us the weight of those decisions, whether given a day or an hour to choose. For them, it isn’t just a hypothetical question. It wasn’t a probing inquiry to reflect upon or a spiritual analogy for all the things that weigh us down and distract us on our journey toward eternal life. It was an impactful decision that forced them to consider what they really needed or wanted.

I wonder, what would I take with me?

This weekend, the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time, the always disruptive parable, in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 16: 19-31) of the rich man and Lazarus, asks us to ponder the same soul-searching questions. Am I leading a life that brings me closer to God? Does my life reflect a love and concern for those around me? Or have I been living a self-centered life focused on more mundane and temporal concerns?

I invite you this week to consider the question in your own life. What would you pack today, knowing you have to leave your home tomorrow? Then, reflecting on your answer, what does that say about the other possessions that might consume your time, energy and financial resources?

Whatever the answer, I hope you find abundant peace and hope this week.

Deena

Image: A sketch of monks walking together I saw hanging in a monastery.

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.