Category: mental wellbeing

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Holding space for hard truths

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, gratitude practice, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Seeking Peace, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Being honest about the thoughts we have, and the beliefs they represent within, can be challenging. It’s probably easier to ignore them with other thoughts like – it’s just a bad day or I’m not that different than everybody else. But if we really want to grow spiritually, personally or emotionally, it’s not a good idea to ignore looking at thoughts and reactions as they come up.

This week I’ve had some challenging invitations to go a little deeper.

Earlier this week I took a seminar with Reform Wellness and one of the introductory comments was “If Christ isn’t the center of your life, something else is.” There can be a million “something else’s” for each of us. It can be other people, jobs, opinions, status, fear or anxiety, money… I am sure you can think of some that are, or have been, true in your life. I definitely had to spend some time thinking about all the things I let guide my decisions or reactions that are not my relationship with God. Instead of looking outside for answers, we were invited to take those concerns we have and sit down for an honest conversation with the Lord. Seems simple, right? But am I willing to hear the answer that may come?

There were scripture passages that challenged me this week as well – Simon and his judgement of the woman with the alabaster jar, the parable of the sower and the seed that falls among the thorns and is choked by anxieties, riches and pleasures in life, and finally, today’s Sunday’s gospel parable of the harvest workers being paid, by the landowner, the wage for an hour of work as the workers who toiled all day.

Diana Butler Bass wrote an insightful article, in her Sunday Musings, regarding envy versus jealousy. She wrote “Envy is a murderer — of our own souls, of others, and of the possibility of communion and community. Envy drives us to have more, to take what we think we deserve, to beat others at the game.” I looked at my own reactions to others or events, desiring to be honest about them. But what surprised me even more was what it brought up about my feelings about injustice I see in our country and my constant, daily, plea, “Why are they getting away with this? God, when are you going to do something about it?” Sure, I have my vote (and that’s important), but how else might I be called to look at, and deal with, those feelings of anger and disgust?

There were a long list of items I would have preferred to write about today. I read emails and commentaries that responded and reacted so much better than I could, so I will leave that to more proficient writers than me. As a quick note, if you haven’t read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper post, How We Fight, I would encourage you to do so. I think it might be my favorite article of all her articles that I have read. Maria has great insights on approaching the battles we fight, personally or as a society. I agree and want to try harder to implement this approach.

Besides being open and vulnerable, as Shriver suggests, I think it is also important to look for the wondrous moments that present themselves each day – the rain, the moments in between the rain, the cooler temps… simple, little moments can become moments to pause and be grateful.

Today’s photo image is a “grateful” plate I set out this time of year. I purposely left the dark shadow in the photo as I took it, because I think worry, stress, judgement, etc can be an “opposition voice” that gets in the way of our gratitude if we let it.

This week, if moments to look within and be honest arise, approach them gently and then look for ways to be grateful for the insights they are providing.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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Grateful anyway

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Catholic faith, contemplation, gratitude practice, grounded in faith, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Spiritual Journey, spirituality2 Comments

I received Kate Bowler’s newsletter on August 12 titled “Why I’m Anti-Gratitude” and I have been on a gratitude practice recovery journey since. Now, first of all, if you have visited this blog before you know I am a fan of Kate Bowler. She’s a wonderful author, podcaster, speaker and professor at Duke University. I have her books and listen to her podcasts. So, this likely won’t change my overall opinion of Kate’s work. She began her newsletter sharing that she began a gratitude practice when she was recovering from a serious illness (Kate is a cancer survivor), and that it helped. But, she went on to say that the wellness industry has turned gratitude into a guaranteed cure for suffering and a “strategy for controlling life and our emotions. Another optimization project we can fail (or succeed!) at.” Simple, she suggests, write 3 blessings a day and you’ll never be sad again, concluding that it’s simply not true. She states that it has become a way to refuse that life is BOTH beautiful and hard.

Ok, I get that.

I paused. I questioned whether my daily practice was making a difference. I judged my current ongoing list of gratitude bullets (on that particular day my list was up to #1440) that I began after reading another author, Mary deTurris Poust’s practice of numbering and keeping the gratitude list going as a way to acknowledge the countless blessings in our lives. I wanted to go to Kate’s Substack account and comment that I don’t think most of us see gratitude simplistically, as a magic bullet for happiness. Instead I considered the study she quoted, that there wasn’t a positive benefit in those participants who journaled gratitude over those who did not. She teaches at Duke after all!

But it just didn’t settle with me. I couldn’t let it go. I believe being grateful does make a difference in our outlook and perspective in life.

Fortunately at the same time, one of the Facebook groups I am part of, facilitated by my Young Living Essential Oils manager organization and Brenda Schuler, our “Diamond” leader, began a 10-day Gratitude Reset Experience. Each day she has posted the benefits of practicing gratitude and rewiring our brains to focus on positive events and circumstances in our lives.

Our energy matches what we focus on. I believe this.

On July 12 Br. David Steindl-Rast turned 100 years old. He has long been a voice, known as the “Grandfather of Gratitude, for the transformative power of gratitude. His TED talk in 2013 tells us that it isn’t that happy people are grateful but rather grateful people that are happier. His 2017 YouTube video, A Grateful Day, has been one of my favorite reminders of the gift of each day. As founder of Grateful Living, Br. David and his organization, are committed to sharing the benefits, and practice, of gratefulness and the impact it can have on our lives and our world.

Dr. Arthur Brooks, a well-known author and podcaster, recently shared his 5 step process toward living a more grateful life. Also a professor (Vanderbilt University), Dr. Brooks says we are living in a “happiness crisis”. He writes and speaks extensively about finding happiness and meaning in today’s world by incorporating simple practices and attitudes into our daily way of thinking and being.

There are countless others. As I reminded myself of these respected teachers and scholars, I reflected that they aren’t suggesting we ignore the hardships in life. They aren’t saying do “this…” and your life will turn around and all difficulties will disappear. But I do believe they are suggesting that we are able to cope with and move through those times much easier when we have a foundation of gratitude for the blessings in our lives.

My faith does this as well. God doesn’t promise a life that is free from any worry or concern. However, I believe that I will be sustained during them. I was reassured as we prayed today’s Collect for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time: “O God, who have prepared for those who love you good things which no eye can see, fill our hearts, we pray, with the warmth of your love, so that, loving you in all things and above all things, we may attain your promises, which surpass every human desire.”

Today’s image is a picture of little Bela on the day he found me. While the pain of losing him this past February remains intense, I am grateful for the years we had together and all the joy and laughter he brought into my life.

Difficult and challenging moments will show up, that’s a given.

Be grateful anyway. Peace, Deena

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Crowding out the chaos

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Cultivating growth, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, monastic prayer, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

My brother and I own the duplex that I live in. We have a tenant renting the other side. I have several plants in the flower beds on that side of the building but I have not planted as many as I have on my side and I don’t take the time to care for it as well as mine. For the past couple of years the weeds have been atrocious. I have tried rock, heavy mulch (lots and lots of heavy mulch!), landscape paper, but the soil is just lousy. The weeds seem to thrive in it. I have been putting off getting over on that side to clear the weeds again. Friday I decided I needed to get out there again, but I had a new idea. I purchased some ground cover, as I have in many areas of my flower beds, and planted to see if it will eventually grow and crowd out the weeds. I only completed a small section and I really wanted different ground cover than the ones I found, but it’s a start!

Planting the new ground cover is fresh on my mind this morning as I reflected on the Gospel reading for the Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time. Matthew’s second accounting of the storm at sea has the apostles in the boat, alone without Jesus, as a storm brews and overwhelms them. In this version, they see Jesus in the distance as he walks toward them on the water. We are all familiar with Peter calling out to Jesus, Peter walking out to him on the water, but then begins to sink as he takes his eyes off Jesus. Our pastor, Fr. Paul Carlson, shared an insightful homily of the two storm versions in Matthew’s gospel and the need to keep our focus on Jesus as we navigate the storms and turbulent waters of this world. He reminded us that as followers of Jesus, “we need to be able to walk on the difficult seas [in life], but not be swallowed up by them.”

It’s not easy some days. The noise and turbulence of the world can overwhelm us just as the sea did to the apostles in the gospel. The weeds can take over and crowd out the good plants, in our spirit and soul, unless we replace the weeds with better plants. We need to blanket the soil of our minds and hearts with quiet time of prayer, reflection, and soul time with God. We are able to keep our eyes on Jesus, and less on the world, by who and what we devote our attention to.

I’m not sure if it’s age, or wisdom, but I find myself cherishing the quiet, alone time at home, or at church, more than I ever have in past years. Whether reading, listening to podcasts, gardening, stitching and reflecting, or simply in quiet prayer, it’s easier to be at peace. Perhaps it isn’t what I am turning toward but what I am turning away from. Likely, it’s a combination of both. Regardless, life is more serene and tranquil when I do so.

At this point in my writing journey of publishing this blog every Sunday for over three years, I have to check titles to make sure I haven’t used it before. This by itself is a task in creativity. I searched and found a previous post titled, “Clearing the Weeds”. I reread it and was reminded of a somatic technique called SNAP that author, and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, developed. In the blog I share the meaning of the acronym, and briefly how to use the technique, to manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. I had forgotten about it, and in addition to prayer and contemplation, this simple technique is a great way to recenter in moments of stress. You can click here to read that post:https://deenapavinato.com/2025/06/22/clearing-the-weeds/.

This week I encourage you to find ways, that are helpful to you, when you need to clear the weeds in your own inner landscape. Find ways to be still. Then check in and see if it makes a difference in your day and your outlook.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Today’s image: One of the small areas of pachysandra, a ground cover (Japanese Spurge), in my flower beds, that my friend Kathy and I fell in love with at Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford and have been adding to our flower beds this year. It’s growing nicely and next year I will be sure to add more to both sides of the duplex.

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Calming the mind

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, contemplation, creative well-being, mental wellbeing, mindful breathing, mindfulness, monastic prayer, ora et labora, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit2 Comments

Last weekend was the most delicious pause to stitch and learn from designers, and those with a presence, in the stitching world. It was filled with lots of laughs and mutual support, which I am finding to be the hallmark of the stitching community. Last September I saw a Halloween chart and decided I was going to learn to cross stitch. I had never purchased a piece of fabric or floss for stitching. I have become obsessed with my new hobby. I love learning tips and tricks, of course. But more than anything else I love hearing the journeys of stitchers and creators that I follow. The husband and wife team of Artsy Housewife, Gigi the designer, delight me with their stitching and stories. Stephanie, a competent designer and owner of Lindy Stitches (an online store for all things stitching), shared a self-deprecating video of her 10 biggest design flops this week, not to solicit support or sales, but to share her thoughts for those who might be trying their hand at designing charts. As usual, she had me laughing! I am constantly amazed at the wisdom of Jacob de Graaf, a designer from the Netherlands, who is an expert on antique samplers. His own designs are influenced by Quaker samplers and designs from the Netherlands and Scandinavia. I have selected two (what am I thinking?!) designs for my August birthday stitch and as part of a stitch along he will be leading. The list of designers, makers, and regular stitchers like me, who share their insights, journeys and projects, that I watch and learn from is endless.

But, the best part of stitching is the quiet, steady, peaceful flow state I enter each and every night as I work on projects. Other concerns, or mindless chatter, fall into the background. Each stitch becomes a tiny win for the day. They are little victories that release feel good hormones like dopamine. Knitting and crocheting do the same for those engaging in those crafts, also said to support emotional regulation and good brain chemistry. As our brains lock into the single task at hand, the brain gets focused and feels safe. I am changing and growing with each project I stitch, not only in confidence but also a sense of who I am as a person. I began learning about the neurological reactions of crafting, journaling and drawing, and the impact on our overall well-being, when I began experimenting with and studying neurographic art last year. By focusing on the process of drawing simple lines and curves, we calm down and relieve stress. This alone can help us find solutions to issues we might be dealing with.

My prayer and contemplative practice has slowed down and become more centered as well. It has become easier to quiet the mind when it is racing. I can pray as I stitch – each stitch, each breath, clear a space to listen more attentively.

Another practice I was introduced to this summer was helpful as well. As I have shared, and written, I am a Benedictine Oblate. Generally each day, besides praying the psalms, I try to read The Rule of St. Benedict, which guides our daily living in the principles of stability, mindful work, and hospitality to others (welcoming the Christ in all persons). The Rule is broken down into small nuggets, or chapters, for each day of the year. There are many excellent commentaries on The Rule, which studying as an Oblate, help us find relevance for living in the modern world.

I was gifted a version of The Rule, “Suscipe me, Domine” compiled by a men’s monastic community in Norcia, Italy. I read one of the reflections on “Unceasing Prayer in the Rule of St. Benedict” that has significantly transformed my prayer life. Many of us are familiar with the “Jesus Prayer” prayed by the Desert Fathers and early Christian monks as a way to practice continuous prayer. It is certainly a version that I could have chosen. The reflection stated that St. John Cassian, who had a significant impact on St. Benedict’s writing of The Rule, advocates one prayer, “an all-purpose invocation” that can and should be prayed by monastics at all times, as transition from personal prayer to communal prayer, for those in an abbey or monastery. Cassian’s recommended verse was “O God, come to my assistance. Lord, make haste to help me.” This is a typical verse recited, or chanted, as the opening line for specific “hours” of prayer, such as Morning and Evening Prayer, in the Liturgy of the Hours. I began using this verse at various times of the day – when I sat down to pray but didn’t want to pray standard prayers or intercessory prayers, when my mind was racing with a concern that I wanted to quiet, during weekly Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and at 3 or 4 a.m. when I wake and sense that my mind wants to begin to spin out of control. Breathing slowly and repeating this simple prayer has been powerful! I would encourage anyone with “monkey mind” to give it a try. I’d love to hear your experience after practicing it awhile.

Lastly, finding ways to slow down and tune into our breath can be an amazingly simple practice to bring calm into your day. Whether stitching, praying a simple mantra, or sitting quietly in a chair paying attention to the breath, I am confident you will introduce more moments of peace into your day.

If you would like to learn more about breath practice, my friend Kate Brown, and her teacher, Valerie Sorrentino, will be offering a free live Zoom experience this week, Room To Breath, on Thursday, July 30th at 6 p.m. CT. You do not have to have previous breath work experience to participate. You will learn more about intentional breathing and two simple practices from Valerie’s program. I hope you will join me there! I will provide the link below (for those on social media, you may have to click the link to my website to access it).

I wish you a week that is steady, calm and full of peaceful moments, Deena

Click here for link to Room To Breathe

Today’s image: One of my 9-month patriotic stitch alongs, Remember the Ladies as part of America the Beautiful, by designer, Teresa Kogut.

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Embracing the questions

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, lifelong learning, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

A couple of years ago while pondering the persistent question, “what am I going to do with my life”, I finally realized I should stop asking and start living. I laughed and told myself, approaching 70 years of age (not nearly as close to it as I am today), it was time to stop trying to figure that out! Maybe there isn’t an “it” to actually discern in life. Over time, and considerable contemplation, the question morphed into “what am I being called to do, right now – this year or this day?” It’s a minor shift in wording but a huge shift in perspective.

It has felt like a shift to embracing the questions, rather than struggling with them. A fiber artist that I follow shared some thoughts on her own questions and reminded me of a quote by poet, Rainer Marie Rilke, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”

Deanne concluded her own pondering by saying that she thinks we are all “wonderers”, and that she had yet to meet someone who doesn’t ask questions of life. She said, “And we are all a wonder. And that is what life itself is. It is a wonder too. And so now nearly each day I remind myself to ‘Let the mystery be’ and to ‘Love the questions'”.

I couldn’t agree more!

In a movie, “The Gardener”, that I watched this week, the protagonist facing illness and her mortality, begins to open to beauty around her and to seeing life with new eyes. She is mesmerized by a snake that has shed its skin. She gazes on an agave type plant that only blooms once then dies. She mentions to a mysterious teacher that shows up on her journey, that she feels that death looms around her, she questions when the mortal fear stops. He responds, when you are ready for it to.

It’s easy to get caught up in the struggle and miss the mystery unfolding around us each day. If we are ready to release the grip and tight hold on the questions, then perhaps we are able to see things with curiosity instead. We can find wonder and awe in life unfolding around and for us. As I shared some thoughts on the book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, last week, it seems more fitting to be present to what we are called to in each moment. That is what brings peace and contentment in life.

The image I selected for today’s post is a tile of the shell marker pilgrims see on the various Camino paths on “the way” toward Santiago de Compostela. The shell serves as a directional guide letting pilgrims know they are on the right path. For medieval pilgrims, a shell would be a purposeful tool, to drink or eat from. For those of us who follow a Christian path, a shell vessel is often used during the sacrament of baptism, to pour water on the infant or individual being baptized. It is a sign of rebirth and divine protection. I purchased this tile, as well as a sterling shell to wear on a necklace while visiting Santiago de Compostela. They both serve as good reminders to watch for “markers” and continue on “the way” each day.

Wishing you abundant peace, wonder, and awe this week. Deena

Note re the movie The Gardener: before you search for the movie directed by Dabney Day, it was a special online release this week. It was a little bit Devil Wears Prada in the beginning, Hallmark throughout but a few lovely spiritual reflections throughout.

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Wistful summer memories

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Coming home to myself, contemplation, creative well-being, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, mental wellbeing, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey6 Comments

Last night I noticed the first firefly (we called them lightening bugs growing up) of the season. I paused and watched, there was another, and another. I moved to a different window, opened it wide and watched them as they moved around the back yard, around the tree and plants in my flower beds. Soon, my cat, Butters, jumped in the screened window and watched them too. His head darted back and forth as each one lit in the landscape below.

I watched in delight. I inhaled the balmy summer evening air with birds still chirping, but more quietly than earlier in the day. The evening was calm, fewer cars and noise than usual. It was a picture perfect summer night.

I began to reflect on summer evenings of my youth. Nights on the front porch, growing up in a neighborhood where it was common to sit outside and visit. On occasion, after our baths, and dressed in pajamas, we would go for a ride to The Root Beer Stand for an ice cream treat, bugs buzzing under the canopy lights, as a car hop would bring a tray to the car window.

We vacationed in Wisconsin many summers while I was growing up. I can recall only a handful of memories from those summers. I remember the deer we fed by hand. Or the firetruck my father insisted my brothers and I got on so he could take a picture. I exclaimed the leather seat was too hot but he wanted a picture. I still have the photo, legs tucked up near my chin and dress pulled down over my knees. Funny how the picture takes me right back to the feelings I was having.

I attended a local summer camp, Camp Saint Claret (I think we called it Camp Claretknoll). It was a historic summer camp operated by the Claretian Missionaries on the Claretknoll property. The camp was literally a few miles from home but I felt as though we were transported to a different world. I had no idea at the time it was a missionary founded organization. I really can’t recall what we actually did there but thinking of it brings back to memory nights of campfires and scary stories.

I remember my Noni’s garden. Besides her vegetable plants, the garden border was always full of peonies and roses. She loved her garden and I know she planted those seeds in me as well. We would pick dandelion from the yard, so that she could eat the greens in salad, long before the days of chemical treatments on lawns. She taught me about picking and sautéing zucchini flowers.

I love my flowers and adding new varieties to the flower beds each year. But, I gave up gardening vegetables. After my mother died, I lost the joy. I carried on the tradition of planting vegetables, after my father died, which he took on with gusto after my grandmother passed away. Mom and I planted tomatoes, peppers, zucchini and cucumbers. Dad’s garden was always much bigger, priding himself in the lettuce, onions, garlic and sweet corn. Thinking of the garden also evokes lovely memories with my mother, grating zucchini for bread and cooking tomatoes for sauce to use all winter. Perhaps the spark will return one day.

Do you have a favorite summer memory? Or perhaps a summer tradition you grew up with and still share with your family today? I would love to hear it. You can reply in the Facebook or Instagram post, or on my website, so others can enjoy reading it.

Wishing you summer days to savor and that bring you peace. Deena

Image: With my “Noni” in her garden.

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Choosing joy

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Doing what we love, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

This weekend I am participating in a virtual cross-stitch event. This is my second virtual event, hosted Lindy Stitches, and I am hooked! It includes classes, talks, virtual rooms to join to stitch together and chat, and of course, a shopping area.

I began stitching last Fall, with a free Halloween chart I have never completed. But I fell in love and wanted to learn more, so I began researching, watching YouTube videos (stitching video updates are called Flosstubes), immersed myself in the language (yes, there really is a whole lingo that tells people what you are doing and what stage of the process you are in with a project) and began buying designs, and fabrics, created by more notable names in the stitching world. I have finished some small pillows and I probably have 6 current projects in process (called WIPs) at the moment and a created a whole system of organizing the paper charts that I purchased and will begin stitching one of these days. I have a daily Book of Days that journals my stitching, purchases and wish lists. I won’t begin to tell you how many downloaded PDF, digital, files I have saved! Right now there are lots of patriotic charts available for America’s Semiquincentennial, so many of us are working on those along with other projects. I think I have three started at the moment! Yes, I got passionate about stitching! Every single day includes something related to stitching.

Saturday, listening to a “meet and greet” session with Jacob de Graf, designer and owner of Modern Folk Embroidery, and an expert in a variety of quaker, traditional, period and Frisian samplers, I heard the most insightful advice that I have been reflecting on since hearing it. While Jacob offered the advice to stitchers, I thought it is was wise counsel for us as we journey through life.

Stephanie, of Lindy Stitches, asked Jacob what advice he had for stitchers. He quickly said (and will discuss further in his class on Sunday, which I am very excited about), “don’t feel bad about your stitching, you are doing fine!” His suggestion is not compare our stitching to other stitchers or to work we have seen online. He adamantly told us not to apologize for our work, for errors we make, but to be happy with what we are doing. As a new stitcher, constantly judging the speed at which I am stitching compared to others in Facebook groups that seem to produce finished projects overnight, his perspective was encouraging. He said the important thing to ask is whether we had fun stitching and whether working on our projects is bringing us joy. He concluded by saying that if anyone attempts to make us feel bad about our work, then they really aren’t our friend, so move on and keep stitching!

I can think of countless times this week I judged my efforts, not just in stitching or other creative projects, or endlessly berated myself for making a mistake, saying something I wished I hadn’t, or for not accomplishing a task the way that I think someone else has.

Stitching, drawing or journaling, making cards, or even, gardening are things that I do to relax and that bring me joy. Jacob’s sage advice reminds me to keep my focus there. Research tells us that creative projects can reduce stress (I still have to share some thoughts from my talk on neurographic art!), which is why I continue to make time for these things each day.

Why then would I diminish the benefit of those endeavors by judging my work or comparing it to others?

Society and social media brainwash us to do so, for sure. But those of us who have sought to find our personal worth and value in the things we do, or produce, have a history of that behavior to alter and replace. I think it is time to turn that thinking around. It is time to simply find joy in the creative acts we participate in each day, whether it is drawing, stitching or other needlework, arranging flowers or making a meal. Add a garnish, make it over the top even if no one sees it. Share it with friends, real friends who support you. The image I chose for today is an art journal page I created in a class last year. It has been the cover for my Creative Well-Being page on Facebook, a page to encourage others to express themselves in creative practices.

Wishing you abundant joy in all you do this week. I hope some of it will be creative! Deena

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Offline and in tune

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, visionary faith4 Comments

This weekend, as we begin this new month of May, I am on the team and participating in an aromatherapy retreat – Rooted in Wisdom, Rising in Light, hosted by my friend, Kate Brown. The speakers are skilled in their individual areas of expertise and are offering insightful and compelling insights. We are learning and experiencing many interesting new concepts and tools/processes for grounding, balancing, and raising our energy. My talk, Thursday evening, was using an experiential process of drawing neurographic art, which can help create new neural pathways to reduce stress, alter ingrained and rigid thinking, reduce stress, and promote more flexible thinking. It was entitled, Shaping your Future: Using Art and Creativity to Vision the Life You Desire. (Kate and I created a blend of Orange, Peppermint and Geranium essential oils which help with openness, clarity, harmony and heart-centeredness which we used while drawing.)

The retreat participants are staying at a lovely venue in Northern Illinois, a little over an hour north and west of my home. I opted to drive back and forth for a couple of reasons, so the days have been pretty long. As a result, I have only been online long enough to check in, create posts for the parish social media pages, Kate’s business page and read a few that pop up while I am logged in.

In all of our sessions we are talking about honoring our energy and boundaries, respecting our needs (like sleep!) and reclaiming parts of ourselves that we have have set aside while we were attending to other things and people.

As I got home Saturday evening, with a vast array of topics I could write about swirling around in my mind, I decided that taking a break this week was what I really needed.

I invite you to think about times that you keep going when what you really want to do is pause, take a break and attend to your own needs. Once you are of those situations, consider whether you could go offline, take that pause, and just tune in to your own spirit and well-being.

Take a moment, you deserve it!

Wishing you rest this week in whatever ways you need it, Deena

Image: Peace hope and love at Stronghold Retreat Center, Oregon IL

Savor these days

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

I watched one of my cats, Butters, this morning after he finished eating and was ready to settle down for a morning nap. He walked the house and looked at all of his favorite spots before settling on his blanket on the couch. I will likely join him with a blanket later today and a steaming cafe latte. It’s a good day to stay warm and cozy after the rain and snow last night and, now, the chill and cold in the air this morning.

Friday I was beginning to feel the panic of the season set in – busy days with work, church activities and errands to get done. I cleaned up the cemetery, thinking ahead to Saturday and knowing that I should clean up a variety of pots at home too. I had some bulbs to get in the ground and transplant a plant from a pot to the ground before the cold. I started thinking about the Christmas cards and shopping that I haven’t started yet. I will be helping with a pop up ornament class at the unique shop that I do social media work for, as well as working two mornings a week. November has meetings and holiday events. In December and early January, I will facilitate an Advent book discussion for my parish. I found myself short of breath thinking about it all! I stopped and reminded myself that I didn’t want these next two months to be a blur of activity and stress but rather moments of prayer, worship, family, friendship, and celebration.

Yesterday I simply enjoyed the day. I went to the gym and coffee with my friend, Kelly. Then home to clean out the pots and get the plant and bulbs in the ground, with a heavy coat of mulch. I went to Mass and then dinner with Kelly and her husband, Mark. We laughed and enjoyed our dinner and each other’s company.

It all gets done. Whatever doesn’t, probably wasn’t that important. Or better yet, focusing on being grateful, celebrating Advent and Christmas, spending time with people and making memories is what truly matters. Stress and worry doesn’t help. It also prevents us from savoring the moments as they present themselves.

I am enjoying my Thanksgiving decorations before I move into Christmas. Each night, in the house, I light my candles, lanterns and sparkly pumpkin. When I decorate for Christmas, I leave those decorations up until at least Epiphany. Since it falls on January 4th this year, I will likely enjoy them until mid-January. The merry lights and decorations help with the darkness of winter. The decorations make me happy but also bring lovely family memories with many of them.

I want to move around and make the best decision for my spirit and my well-being, just as Butters did this morning. I want to pause and savor the moment just as I did as I watched this little bird, today’s post image, as it landed in my tree this morning, swaying with the moving branches in the wind.

Maybe you are like me though, and you have to remind yourself to slow down and savor the moments. I don’t want the days to be a blur of getting things done but not enjoying them. As we move into this busier time of year, I invite you to join me in taking intentional pauses to be present, aware of the people you are with and the things you are doing. I know it’s cliche but if today was your last day, would you be happy with how you spent it? Let’s step back from the rush and hectic pace and find ways to enjoy the things we are doing and the people we are with.

As Pope Leo XIV reminded us in today’s Angelus address, we are invited to walk in “the joy of being the holy People that God has chosen” to spread the Gospel message of love and mercy through our daily witness in life. I am pretty sure being stressed out and anxious isn’t the best way to share that message. So, let us be grateful to God for the lives and people we have been blessed with. Even with daily challenges, we can find something to pause and be grateful for. In doing so, we will likely be a bright light of hope to those around us.

I wish you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

How you start your day

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, nurturing growth, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey2 Comments

Are your morning routines defined and predictable? Do you have things you do each morning that help you get ready for the day ahead? I have been reading lately that how you start your day, sets your day. I have a pretty reliable and set routine each morning but lately I have been questioning the effectiveness of each morning and also why I am not getting some of the reflection time in that I used to. I miss it and want to find a way to incorporate that quiet morning time back in my schedule.

I listened to Dr. Arthur Brooks, “the Happiness professor, best-selling author and Harvard professor, on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. He described his 6-step protocol each morning that he suggests will create a better day. He begins by getting up at 4:30 a.m. (Dr. Brooks cited a study that showed higher levels of productivity and creativity in those who began their day before dawn), after starting with an early bedtime the night before, exercising first thing (he has a gym in his home or when traveling only selects hotels with 24 hour gyms on premise), having time each morning to spend in spiritual reflection (he goes to daily Mass), delaying his morning coffee (saying that it improves focus and energy throughout the day) and has a high protein breakfast. Then he gets on with his day and makes sure his time is productive time by ignoring emails, the newspaper and social media until later, or checking hourly.

I enjoy listening to Dr. Brooks and his thoughts on happiness, reducing stress and anxiety, and spirituality. But I listened to these six points and felt like such an under-achiever! But to his credit, toward the end of the video, he said try it and adapt it to yourself, even inviting viewer response on how we might have changed it for our lifestyle.

Another routine I read was similar; plan the night before, get enough sleep, limit phone and technology use before bed, practice gratitude, hydrate in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, move your body or exercise, and practice mindfulness or journaling.

Last week, in an online class, we talked about morning routines and setting daily intentions. Our discussion was about finding a routine that works for us and being aware, or conscious, as we completed all the tasks each morning that feel like an obligation or perhaps even prevent us from doing these things I have listed above. The main point was changing our attitude about those duties that feel as though they are hinder us from doing things we would prefer to do, in my case, my quiet reflection and journaling time.

I tend to get up at 4 or 4:30, feed the cats but don’t always stay up and begin the day at that time. That might be a good place to start, but that also means I have to do a better job of getting to bed early so that I am ready to stay awake at 4:30 a.m. I love watching the sunrise, so I am usually up by then, especially recently as the mornings are darker longer (well, at least until next week). Before daily Mass I do the social media posts for my parish, then get ready for Mass. When I get home the cats usually want more attention, or food if they ate at 4 a.m., and I want my coffee! I do a terrible time with a healthy protein-rich breakfast. At one point I thought about a protein smoothie first thing, but read one natural health practitioner say not to have anything cold first thing in the morning. I hate eggs and don’t eat meat, or very little, so that rules out lots of morning breakfast options. Maybe the better choice is still selecting the smoothie, even though it’s cold, because I would begin the day with protein and fruit.

I have been, over the past few months, working as a social media assistant for two different entrepreneurs, one an independent training and holistic practitioner and the other a retail establishment. I have noticed I get drawn into social media more than I did in prior months by checking out posts and techniques used, which then leads down a rabbit hole of viewing other posts and updates. I would like to discipline myself enough to come home from Mass, make the smoothie (or find a better alternative), make my coffee and sit down to journal before I begin my online work activities. A half hour or so isn’t going to make or break the day for daily sales at the store or online enrollments! Based on Dr. Brooks video, it might make me even more productive and focused.

If you are a pet parent, you also know that you have to be flexible for changes in routine. The cats love the patio as soon as I get home and I am happy to open the doors and windows to get fresh air in the house. The holistic practitioner I mentioned above, regarding the cold breakfast, suggested getting 10 minutes of sunshine early in the day, so it would be nice to step outside with the cats for a bit. That would add 10 more minutes to a routine before beginning work. But seriously, 10 minutes isn’t going to prevent me from getting things done and might even help, by standing outside, taking some deep breaths and reflecting on the day ahead before I sit down to journal.

The gym usually gets delayed until afternoon, if I get there, because I prefer to go when fewer people are there and I can’t imagine adding one more thing to the morning before doing my online work. But that works for me and I guess that is the point of this discussion. My recommendation is take in all the ideas and suggestions about creating a great day and then do what works for you. By all means be flexible and spontaneous too. This Sunday morning I was asked to “play the organ” (i.e., hit the buttons at the right time) on our amazing organ at church, that Fr. Carlson programmed with the music for Mass. I wasn’t in the mood to begin this blog on Saturday evening, my normal writing time is early Sunday morning, but I also wanted to help and relished the idea of attending Mass again this morning after attending Vigil Mass on Saturday. So I am posting it later than normal today. The world isn’t falling apart as a result. Often, on Wednesday mornings after Mass, the ladies invite me to join them for breakfast or a friend might reach out and suggest meeting for coffee. Being social and spending time with people I enjoy is also important to me and my well-being, even if it means other morning activities are delayed a bit. I think the most important thing is that we feel that we are choosing versus reacting to the activities in our day, having a positive attitude and making the most of the time we have been given.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on starting the day in a way that sets you up for a happier, more joyful, day. What routine has been most impactful for you? Do any of these ideas sound like ones you would like to incorporate?

As always, I wish you a week abundant in hope and peace, Deena

Blog image: Bela deciding that he needed to be a part of my morning routine a few years ago.