Category: a school of God’s service

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Take courage

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, The Spiritual ExercisesLeave a comment

As I began reflecting about this week’s blog earlier this week I was looking forward to our annual Oblate Day at the monastery, St. Mary’s Monastery, in Rock Island IL. This year we are studying Dilexi Ti: On Love for the Poor, written by Pope Leo XIV ( begun by Pope Francis during his pontificate). Our speaker is involved in many activities that serve those in need in the Quad Cities and is well-versed to speak on this topic. I suspected that it would be a wonderful presentation and that there would be content to share. However, that will be for another day. His talk was deeply disquieting and a profoundly altering experience for me. I need more time to process what we heard and what we are called to be, as Christian people, reflecting the love of Christ in the world.

In many ways it was exactly what I needed after a week of deep heaviness and melancholy. Rev. Dr. Ford’s talk jolted me out of the funk I was in.

Last week I shared with a friend that I began exploring ways that people live their lives as urban hermits. I find it so appealing and could easily envision living a life in seclusion. What I was experiencing during the week was a good example of why being alone isn’t always a good thing. Darkness can become even more consuming. Little things begin to look like huge issues. Tears flow even more quickly in response to minor inconveniences. It’s easy to lose perspective.

The enemy wants us to believe we are in it alone.

Evil exists in the world. I mean more than the evil we see in politics and the news. This week was another example of the dismantling of the spiritual core and moral fiber of our country as we see images of individuals that attempt to harm children with guns. There are people with deep hatred and evil in their hearts. That level of evil exists for sure.

I am speaking of evil on a more personal, spiritual, level. There is an evil that attempts to lie to us and deceive us as we attempt to grow in faith and love. For most of us it’s not to the extent that requires professional assistance, or an exorcist, although I am personally aware of two individuals trained to recognize and confront this level of evil. It’s more subtle than that. This enemy tells us things won’t ever get better or change. Situations and thoughts become temptations to ignore prayer or assistance from friends, or spiritual advisors. The experiences become things that attempt to lead us away from God’s will for us.

Last summer I took a virtual retreat with the John Paul II Healing Center and one of the evenings was dedicated to a guided healing session. The evening included prayers of deliverance. Prayers seeking freedom from situations that bind us, whether past events, or current beliefs that need healing and restoration. Remembering those prayers, seeking spiritual deliverance from negative thoughts and feelings, was helpful as I began to climb my way out of the gloom.

Small sacramentals, like creating a small prayer altar with statues and prayer cards, using holy water, or saying the rosary, can be helpful too. This week I also found the novena prayers to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, especially helpful.

The Ignatian Discernment Institute and Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s daily posts on LinkedIn are often a source of great encouragement and support to me. The posts offer reminders such as, “Employed together, prayer of petition, meditation on truths of faith, careful examination, and suitable penance supply a formidable assault on discouragement and lies of the enemy’s desolations.” (Post on LinkedIn but from Setting Captives Free by Fr. Gallagher.)

Tell a friend. One friend reminded me that during times of depression or gloom are exactly the times to reach out, not go within. Another friend said some of the things I shared were what she needed to hear this week too. We don’t know who else might need support, and in the process, we can receive spiritual consolation

Today’s image is of St. Raphael the Archangel. It is a photo of a church window I visited in Arkansas. St. Raphael is often depicted holding a fish. In the book of Tobit, St. Raphael assists young Tobiah. He instructs him to catch a fish that will help in the healing of his father, Tobit. The fish’s liver and heart will drive away a demon (ch 8). Later, he is instructed to smear fish gall on his eyes to peel away cataracts and heal his father’s vision (ch 11).

St. Raphael, help open our eyes and hearts.

Wishing you a week of abundant peace and heavenly support, Deena

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Thought for today

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Compassion, Every day Catholic, manifesto for living, Pope Leo XIV, prayers for our country, praying for peaceLeave a comment

Today I am holding many prayers in my heart and mind – for our country, for those trying to serve this country with values we grew up believing in, for Pope Leo XIV and his upcoming surgery, for families dealing with the devastation of storms, floods and other natural disasters and for friends dealing with the loss of loved ones or who are facing serious illness.

We need some common sense and a good dose of decency. We need to walk the talk of being a Christian nation, which means loving those who don’t believe what we believe and don’t follow Christ. We need to care for each other in ways I believe in my heart we are capable of.

I turn to the words of Wendell Berry who died on August 31 of this year.

A section of his poem, Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Wishing you a week of abundant peace, Deena

St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense…

Image: Photo I captured in Rome. St. Michael on top of Castel Sant’Angelo by the Pont Sant’Angelo bridge.

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Grace of inner renewal

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Franciscan Jubilee year, Fraternal love, Fruit of the Spirit, growing in faith, internal renewal, Life in the Spirit, ora et labora, Pope Leo XIV, Poverty of Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Season of Creation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, St Francis, Teachers and Guides on the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

This weekend celebrates 800 years since the transition of St. Francis to eternal life. It is such a momentous event that Pope Leo XIV began a year of celebration on January 10, 2026, concluding on January 10, 2027. During this Jubilee Year, we are encouraged by the Church to visit Franciscan churches, shrines or other places of worship. In his Angelus address today, on the Feast of St. Francis, in Rome, Pope Leo said Francis’s charism continues to bear fruit. He invites us to “perseveringly ask for the gift of peace and sincerely commit ourselves to building harmony among peoples”.

Growing up with a Franciscan sister as my aunt I learned much about the impact of Francis on the world. Once I began considering colleges, I was given a personal tour of the College of St. Francis (now University) by my aunt and fell in love with the smaller size and personality of the campus. I began college making all the mistakes of a young person finally away from home but, over the course of those four years, was transformed by my involvement in Campus Ministry, guided by a Franciscan priest and religious sister, instructors, and the special friends I made, and continue to communicate with, made easier by social media platforms then when we graduated in 1978.

When I began to explore lay religious communities, in the 1990s, of course, Franciscan Lay Associates were examined and prayerfully evaluated. I think if there had been a community closer to my home, or someone I knew that was an Associate, I would likely have pondered it more seriously. The Benedictine sisters that were living on the grounds of St. Bede Academy, operated by Benedictine monks, in a neighboring town, held monthly group sessions that encouraged me and supported my three-year inquiry, candidacy and oblation.

There are many similarities between the Franciscan and Benedictine communities and I am sure if there was an official blend of the two, I would be part of it. Both spiritualities raise up the virtues of simplicity, stability, humility, and stewardship of the earth. They each live and practice prayer, and faith in action, in ways that promote being faithful laborers in the Lord’s vineyard, either building up the Church or damage it, by the way we live and encounter others.

Due to a busy weekend, my brother and sister-in-law were staying here for many activities celebrating his 50th high school reunion at St. Bede, and a wedding we all attended out of town, I attended Mass in a neighboring town this morning instead of my home parish. It was a privilege to finally attend a Mass celebrated by, and hear a sermon given by, a recently ordained priest in our Diocese. His eloquent sermon spoke of the force of renewal that St. Francis was during his life. He shared that St. Francis continues to attract and inspire us because he reveals Christ to us. Francis “preordered creation” by putting Christ first. He introduced a new peace that can be found as we open and bare ourselves to Christ, renewing our own spirit, so that we can demonstrate the same love to others that St. Francis did.

Pope Leo said “Saint Francis repaired the Church by virtue of his faith in the Lord Jesus healing the rifts of discord through the witness of fraternal love.” If there ever is a time to help repair the rifts of division and separation, it seems to be needed now. We begin with inner renewal and then allow it to flow out from us. The spiritual focus of this Franciscan Jubilee year is peace, simplicity of life, care for creation, and love for the poor. These fruits of inner renewal are ones I seek as we celebrate the Feast of St. Francis and continue during these final months of 2026 and the Jubilee year.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: artwork of St. Francis purchased in Assisi, Italy.

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Big changes start small

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, contemplation, creative well-being, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, monastic prayer, ongoing catechesis, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, visionary faith3 Comments

I was taking a picture of the sunrise this morning and turned to notice that the leaves on the tree in the backyard were beginning to change. The days have been cooler, the morning and nights magnificent, so the changes into Fall are beginning to take place. The purple flowers on my Ruellia Brittoniana (Purple Showers) have been decreasing in number each day. But the mum is beginning to open and show its color. I leave the windows open longer in the morning and open them back up again for most of the evening. Pretty soon our Illinois Valley will be aglow with vibrant oranges, reds and yellow leaves.

I have been tackling a large project in the house, projects I have put off a long time. Earlier this week I couldn’t even breathe as I began to think of the enormity of the task. It would literally take my breath away, paralyzing me instead of motivating me into action. I told myself to begin with one small task. That moved to another. Pretty soon I felt like I was making progress. Cleaning and getting rid of items is a big enough challenge but when there are emotions tied to them, it can become oppressive.

This week we celebrated the Beatification of Blessed Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen in our Peoria Diocese. The pre-Mass talks were excellent and some quite moving for me. The Mass was amazing! Growing up watching Blessed Sheen on TV, and then more recently with talk of his beatification in our Diocese, and path to sainthood, I am very familiar with stories of Sheen’s life. I have visited and prayed at his tomb, since it came to St. Mary’s Cathedral, many times. The events leading up to this week certainly renewed an understanding of the faith life of this holy man. Fulton Sheen has often said that his knowledge and insight can be attributed to his prayer life. He prayed a Holy Hour, in front of the Blessed Sacrament, every day.

To see so many faithful people attending the events in Peoria and St. Louis has been spirit-reviving. But it has also been a bit overwhelming, just like my household project. I desire to live a more faithful, and prayer-filled, life than I already do. It feels like there is such a huge gap between what I desire and the way I live my faith life.

As I have been writing this, Stephanie at Lindy Stitches, the host of the virtual stitching retreat I am attending, read an essay she wrote, during our virtual coffee hour. She affirmed the topic of this blog for me! Talk about synchronicity! Here are a few tidbits. I hope she shares it in a PDF for us. If so, I will share.

“…Good things take time. Really big things like Douglas Firs take decades to grow… Lovely things take time, they don’t happen overnight, you can’t pay for them to hurry up. Slow things made with intention are valuable things… Cross Stitch is being productive in a way that is slow, but man, that way is slow! … I don’t have to be productive all the time, that’s not the way I want to live anyway… What’s the point of all the time saving devices, just to work more? … Real beauty requires a human mind, a human hand and a human’s precious time.”

AMEN to all of that.

Just as the season are changing slowly and we relish it, this post is a reminder to myself, to go slow and have faith that the changes are happening, albeit slower than I prefer. I hope this reminder speaks to you too.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image – my tree in the backyard this morning.

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Holding space for hard truths

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, gratitude practice, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Seeking Peace, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Being honest about the thoughts we have, and the beliefs they represent within, can be challenging. It’s probably easier to ignore them with other thoughts like – it’s just a bad day or I’m not that different than everybody else. But if we really want to grow spiritually, personally or emotionally, it’s not a good idea to ignore looking at thoughts and reactions as they come up.

This week I’ve had some challenging invitations to go a little deeper.

Earlier this week I took a seminar with Reform Wellness and one of the introductory comments was “If Christ isn’t the center of your life, something else is.” There can be a million “something else’s” for each of us. It can be other people, jobs, opinions, status, fear or anxiety, money… I am sure you can think of some that are, or have been, true in your life. I definitely had to spend some time thinking about all the things I let guide my decisions or reactions that are not my relationship with God. Instead of looking outside for answers, we were invited to take those concerns we have and sit down for an honest conversation with the Lord. Seems simple, right? But am I willing to hear the answer that may come?

There were scripture passages that challenged me this week as well – Simon and his judgement of the woman with the alabaster jar, the parable of the sower and the seed that falls among the thorns and is choked by anxieties, riches and pleasures in life, and finally, today’s Sunday’s gospel parable of the harvest workers being paid, by the landowner, the wage for an hour of work as the workers who toiled all day.

Diana Butler Bass wrote an insightful article, in her Sunday Musings, regarding envy versus jealousy. She wrote “Envy is a murderer — of our own souls, of others, and of the possibility of communion and community. Envy drives us to have more, to take what we think we deserve, to beat others at the game.” I looked at my own reactions to others or events, desiring to be honest about them. But what surprised me even more was what it brought up about my feelings about injustice I see in our country and my constant, daily, plea, “Why are they getting away with this? God, when are you going to do something about it?” Sure, I have my vote (and that’s important), but how else might I be called to look at, and deal with, those feelings of anger and disgust?

There were a long list of items I would have preferred to write about today. I read emails and commentaries that responded and reacted so much better than I could, so I will leave that to more proficient writers than me. As a quick note, if you haven’t read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper post, How We Fight, I would encourage you to do so. I think it might be my favorite article of all her articles that I have read. Maria has great insights on approaching the battles we fight, personally or as a society. I agree and want to try harder to implement this approach.

Besides being open and vulnerable, as Shriver suggests, I think it is also important to look for the wondrous moments that present themselves each day – the rain, the moments in between the rain, the cooler temps… simple, little moments can become moments to pause and be grateful.

Today’s photo image is a “grateful” plate I set out this time of year. I purposely left the dark shadow in the photo as I took it, because I think worry, stress, judgement, etc can be an “opposition voice” that gets in the way of our gratitude if we let it.

This week, if moments to look within and be honest arise, approach them gently and then look for ways to be grateful for the insights they are providing.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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Holy labor and holy rest

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Life of purpose, monastic prayer, ora et labora, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore the community should have specified periods for manual labor as well as for prayerful reading. Chapter 48 – Daily Manual Labor, The Rule of St. Benedict

The purpose of work in the monastery is to serve the community and fulfill all the tasks for the daily operations of the monastery. Tasks such as kitchen duty and being porter of the door are outlined by St. Benedict. But in all aspects of The Rule, there is always room for adaptation due to weather, the season of the year, or the age or “fainthearted” nature of the person performing the work. I love this about The Rule. There are guidelines but a wise abbot or prioress knows we all have different capabilities and endurance levels.

There have been times that I have viewed my work as fulfilling a purpose and serving a common good. Perhaps I was helping people by making their work lives easier by offering customer support or solving problems for them. Honestly, there are also times that I questioned what the value of that work was in the larger scheme of things. How I viewed the value of my work was probably closely correlated to how happy I was in the role. I would definitely make different decisions about work I was engaged in given the chance to do it over again.

But it’s also important to remember that I might not see the entire picture or purpose for the work I was doing, or the lives I might have impacted, by my presence there.

I read a newsletter earlier this week by an author I follow, Laura Kelly Fanucci, “Work Without End, Amen”, that reminded me of this important perspective. Fanucci offered a new piece of information, to me, about Bishop Ken Untener that I admired during my years living in Michigan. Laura shared that these lines written by Bishop Untener are often attributed to Bishop Oscar Romero because of a Christmas address given by Pope Francis, and a paper written by Cardinal Basil Hume. The lack of clarity ended up aligning the words with Romero.

Untener wrote: “We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.”

Fanucci concluded, “I can picture both brother bishops shrugging. Who cares? What matters is the work. What matters is the mystery that Jesus called the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven or the life of the world to come. What matters is that we got to be here at all. What matters is that we get to roll up our sleeves again and dig into the dirty dishes of being human. What matters is the work without end. Amen.”

This week I lamented the passing of poet, novelist and environmental activist, Wendell Berry. I am so grateful for his extensive writing and recorded talks, but his voice will be missed. In light of Labor Day, and the subject of my blog this week, I share these words by Berry:

“Teach me work that honors Thy work, the true economies of goods and words, to make my arts compatible with the songs of local birds.

Teach me patience beyond work and, beyond patience, the blest Sabbath of Thy unresting love which lights all things and gives rest.“

Let us seek to find value in our labor each day, whether it is caring for our families (and pets) at home, serving our parish community, assisting as a volunteer at an agency helping others, or still actively engaged in paid employment. Our work becomes an extension of our prayer when we try to serve and praise God in how we view those daily tasks. May we also seek to refresh and nourish our spirits by taking time to rest in the Love that is surpasses all of our human endeavors.

Wishing you deep and soulful rest this Labor Day weekend. Deena

Image: a small chapel on the grounds of Subiaco Abbey, Arkansas

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On the lookout for peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeking Peace, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Women Mystics2 Comments

During the Covid pandemic years I took several online classes, retreats and programs. One of those was a Women’s Mystics School offered by Spiritual Wanderlust, an online community supporting aspects of the interior life and exploring wisdom teachers in the contemplative tradition, modern psychology, philosophy and spirituality. It was always my favorite Saturday of the month to listen to and learn from the speakers invited to present to us. In 2022, we looked at the life and writings of modern mystic, Etty Hillesum.

Etty was a Dutch Jewish woman killed in the concentration camps in 1943. Etty was a well-educated woman who suffered from severe depression and sought help from her analyst, Julius Spier, who became her mentor, friend and lover. Spier encouraged her to keep a journal or diary. Those writings were published after her death in “An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork.” Etty wrote reflections on things she read by Carl Jung and Rainer Maria Rilke. She wrote about her relationship with Spier. She wrote of her inner world. During the German occupation, Etty refused to go into hiding. She was forced to go to Westerbork, one of the transition camps, for Dutch Jews. From June to September 1943 she writes from Westerbork before being transferred herself to Auschwitz before being killed in November at the age of 29 years old.

What I found striking during our study of Etty’s writing was how she attempted to look at the situation she was facing, the trains and the faces of those being boarded on them, the German guards, and her own perspective and relationship to a God who dwelled deep within her. She tried to find and give love, build community, in the little ways she could while helping others in the transition camp. She focused on living fully, holding suffering and beauty simultaneously, despite the conditions she was facing. She didn’t focus on a God, external, in the midst of the turmoil in her country and the world. Rather, she experienced God in the deepest, richest parts of her being, and found rest and shelter there.

I was reminded of this study a couple of weeks ago, reading an article on Hillesum by Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation. Rohr shared several of Etty’s writing in his reflection. They seem relevant for me today.

Etty reflects on the war she is seeing around her and writes, “Why is there war?… Because I and my neighbor and everyone else do not have enough love. Yet we could fight war and all the excrescences by releasing, each day, the love that is shackled inside of us, and giving it a chance to live.” We don’t have to look to war torn countries. All we need do is look to our current government and how our legislative representatives interact with each other and those they disagree with.

In today’s Gospel for the Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, (Matthew 14: 14-21) Jesus is “moved with pity” seeing the crowds following him, seeking guidance and his teaching. In the famous scene, the apostles are concerned for the thousands gathering around them, needing food, and asks Jesus to spend them away. Jesus initially responds to their request by saying that the apostles don’t need to send them away, but to feed them. They, of course, resist and say what they have is not enough. Jesus then feeds the crowds and abundant leftovers are gathered.

How often do we resist and say that we are just one person, we don’t have enough (time, resources, confidence) to make a difference in the world?

Even on a smaller, more personal level, Hillesum writes that we fight so many small battles, within, each day, that sap our energy. She offers instead that we must “not allow ourselves to become infested with thousands of petty fears and worries, so many motions of no confidence in God…. Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and reflect it towards others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Silencing those small voices that insist on promoting unrest within can be challenging. Add social media to the mix and the voices seeking to drown out peace get louder and louder. So, I might be missing out on an update from a friend, or local area news, but reducing the amount of time I spend on social media, or on the news, saves the little bit of peace I can control.

Hillesum writes, speaking to God, “One thing is becoming increasingly clear to me: that You cannot help us, that we must help You to help ourselves. And that is all we can manage these days and also all that really matters: that we safeguard that little piece of You, God, in ourselves. And perhaps in others as well… You cannot help us, but we must help You and defend your dwelling place inside us to the last.”

This week I choose to be more on the lookout for peace than unrest and for small ways that I can make a difference with my humble fish and loaves.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: St. Francis statue, a garden in Assisi.

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Embracing the questions

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, creative well-being, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, lifelong learning, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

A couple of years ago while pondering the persistent question, “what am I going to do with my life”, I finally realized I should stop asking and start living. I laughed and told myself, approaching 70 years of age (not nearly as close to it as I am today), it was time to stop trying to figure that out! Maybe there isn’t an “it” to actually discern in life. Over time, and considerable contemplation, the question morphed into “what am I being called to do, right now – this year or this day?” It’s a minor shift in wording but a huge shift in perspective.

It has felt like a shift to embracing the questions, rather than struggling with them. A fiber artist that I follow shared some thoughts on her own questions and reminded me of a quote by poet, Rainer Marie Rilke, “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now.”

Deanne concluded her own pondering by saying that she thinks we are all “wonderers”, and that she had yet to meet someone who doesn’t ask questions of life. She said, “And we are all a wonder. And that is what life itself is. It is a wonder too. And so now nearly each day I remind myself to ‘Let the mystery be’ and to ‘Love the questions'”.

I couldn’t agree more!

In a movie, “The Gardener”, that I watched this week, the protagonist facing illness and her mortality, begins to open to beauty around her and to seeing life with new eyes. She is mesmerized by a snake that has shed its skin. She gazes on an agave type plant that only blooms once then dies. She mentions to a mysterious teacher that shows up on her journey, that she feels that death looms around her, she questions when the mortal fear stops. He responds, when you are ready for it to.

It’s easy to get caught up in the struggle and miss the mystery unfolding around us each day. If we are ready to release the grip and tight hold on the questions, then perhaps we are able to see things with curiosity instead. We can find wonder and awe in life unfolding around and for us. As I shared some thoughts on the book, The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence, last week, it seems more fitting to be present to what we are called to in each moment. That is what brings peace and contentment in life.

The image I selected for today’s post is a tile of the shell marker pilgrims see on the various Camino paths on “the way” toward Santiago de Compostela. The shell serves as a directional guide letting pilgrims know they are on the right path. For medieval pilgrims, a shell would be a purposeful tool, to drink or eat from. For those of us who follow a Christian path, a shell vessel is often used during the sacrament of baptism, to pour water on the infant or individual being baptized. It is a sign of rebirth and divine protection. I purchased this tile, as well as a sterling shell to wear on a necklace while visiting Santiago de Compostela. They both serve as good reminders to watch for “markers” and continue on “the way” each day.

Wishing you abundant peace, wonder, and awe this week. Deena

Note re the movie The Gardener: before you search for the movie directed by Dabney Day, it was a special online release this week. It was a little bit Devil Wears Prada in the beginning, Hallmark throughout but a few lovely spiritual reflections throughout.

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The practice of peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, lifelong learning, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, visionary faith1 Comment

Have you found yourself irritated with others, or with life/the world, because events weren’t turning out as you had hoped they would? Maybe it’s more than a hope, but an expectation, that circumstances should be different. We (me!) can stress and worry about situations in life, but frequently find we have little control over it. As a reaction I often retreat, inwardly, or even physically, to my inner being, and home, preferring silence and solitude. My desire is to keep a constant connection with Spirit, throughout the day, focused on the things that really matter instead of the mundane and passing concerns that can consume so much time and energy. Some days are easier than others.

I have to catch myself when the repeated tape of a conversation, or of the behavior of someone else toward me, begins to rewind over and over again. I laughed out loud this morning reading a post by personal development author, life coach, and speaker, Cheryl Richardson, as she described the thoughts going through her mind as she took a shower. She stopped herself and said “Cheryl, come back, there are too many people in this shower with you!” I replied, “Girl, I hear you!” I laughed thinking of the countless times I have been in the same situation.

I have been encouraged in my practice of being in the presence of God, more mindful of Spirit and connection, as an alternative to mindless worry over past or future events, as I have been rereading a book by Brother Lawrence from the 17th century, Practice of the Presence of God. I was encouraged to read this small book in the 1990’s, along with Abandonment to Divine Providence, written in the 18th century, by one of my parish priests. Both have been helpful books on my spiritual journey. Lately, I have been using an updated translation by Ascension Press, which has been much easier than reading the original book I have. The book has gained much popularity after Pope Leo XIV wrote an introduction to a Vatican edition of the book, indicating that this book was one of the books that has shaped his spirituality and awareness of knowing and loving God. Pope Leo has advised that the journey of practicing the presence of God, is an arduous one because we have to renounce all of the other things that seek our attention, so that we can keep our focus centered on God.

And isn’t this the goal of Christian mindfulness, and a practice of centering prayer and contemplation? We desire to turn away from the clamor and noise of the world seeking inner peace and union with the Divine.

Brother Lawrence advises that we turn away from everything that distracts from that union, so that we can be in constant conversation with God. We pause, we turn to and rest in the Divine Presence. Simple but challenging. We seek to empty ourselves of the things of the world, from anything that does not lead to God. Brother Lawrence approached all his duties and responsibilities within the Carmelite monastery in this way, as an opportunity to practice the presence of God.

Just as Brother Lawrence had his tasks to complete, so do we. Practicing the presence of God does not mean we quit work, give up enjoyable hobbies and activities, or retreat to a monastery. I do find it is easier having fewer responsibilities outside of the home, but even those activities become opportunities to serve and be aware of God’s presence as we undergo them and encounter others in the process of doing them. It brings a different perspective to our engagement in them.

While the “practice” Brother Lawrence speaks of reminds me of Ignatian spirituality, finding God in all things and seeking only those things that bring us closer to God, he did not seem to be concerned with guidance from others, except in sacramental confession, or considering consolations and desolations in spirit. He simply returned his gaze to God and to the things that would be pleasing to God, despite any suffering or distraction.

With a similar message, Pope Leo XIV, in his video message to the 50th Summer Youth Conference in Steubenville, Ohio this weekend, encouraged youth to look for peace, for “true and perfect joy”, in the love of God instead of from others, or from social media and other electronics. He pointed to the life of St. Francis, and the peace Francis found, and shared with others, that looked different, and less appealing, to others, until they encountered him. They experienced the peace that he found within, in his relationship with God and a focus on lasting joy and happiness.

I hope that as I continue to practice the presence of God, less concerned with the opinions and actions of others, I will find that same level of peace and joy experienced by Brother Lawrence, Francis, other saints and mystics, and those who have followed them. I pray that this peace is experienced by others who I encounter. It’s a lofty goal to be sure, but one worth remaining committed to.

As always, I wish you abundant peace this week, Deena

Today’s image: a small wall hanging I purchased in Assisi, Italy. Pace e Bene means “peace and all good” or “good peace”.

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On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender novena, The Spiritual Exercises, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The problem with getting hundreds of emails from authors and speakers that I follow is keeping up with them all. The amount of compelling content to read can be overwhelming each week, so I read some, scan some for the highlights, and then save for later. I recently stopped to read a blog I had saved, written by Eric Clayton, author and Director of Communications for Jesuit Conference of Canada and the United States. I met and began reading Eric’s book and blogs during my time at Ignatian Ministries. He’s a wonderful writer and I am often inspired by his essays in his weekly “Now Discern This“.

The email that I re-read was regarding a trip to the bookstore and advising his daughters that they could pick out one book, not a toy or game. Eric made a selection of three books, from all of their choices, that he thought they might like. The youngest, unamused with the concept of making a decision declared they should get them all. Eric used this as a lesson in making a choice.

Eric goes on to write, to each of us, the beauty of the tools of discernment given to us by St. Ignatius of Loyola. We must understand our limitations, he explains, and understand that we can’t have it all. We use the tools of discernment to help us align our gifts and talents with God’s will for us.

I am grateful for my time at Ignatian Ministries and our use of the Ignatian Discernment tools in every decision we made. The tools of discernment taught by Ignatian Ministries founder, Becky Eldredge, as well as authors such as Eric Clayton, Fr. Timothy Gallagher, Fr. Kevin O’Brien, Fr. Mark Thibodeaux, Fr. William Barry, and countless others, help us tune in to the thoughts and feelings we are having as we pray and make decisions. These tools, first considered by St. Ignatius of Loyola as he was convalescing from a battle injury, help us to identify “good” and “evil” spirits impacting us in our daily lives, as well as movements of consolation and desolation, we are feeling as we consider decisions or ways of responding to particular situations.

These don’t have to be used in huge life changing decisions, such as what job to take, where to move, or whether we are being called to a vocation. They can be used practically, such as Eric’s example of helping his daughters make a book purchase or in our daily prayer.

This past week I began a novena for a specific intention. It wasn’t an intercessory intention for someone in need or as stately as world peace. It was something more closely related to my life. By the third day I began to feel a sense of desolation about my prayer. I brought it to reflection during Adoration and quickly realized I had the plan all figured out. I had my request and the outcome all set. I began to “feel” God respond to me and say, “that might be the right outcome” but “let go, let me handle it. I can see far wider than you can.” At that point I changed my intention to “whatever is best…” I almost immediately felt the desolation change to consolation, and accompanying feelings of peace, calm and a willingness to hand over my request to God.

Becky Eldredge has frequently shared her insights on “Testing Desires” in her workshops. The first step Becky suggests for us helped me this week: Check the source – did it come from God, from my humanness, or from a false spirit? Next, where did the desire leave me?

I could feel in my spirit that my specific prayer was not leading me closer to God. I knew I had to let the outcome go and trust the process. I may not understand completely what I may be led to, but I feel better praying for what is best and for an outcome that will help me be the person God created me to be, rather than what I think is best for me in this moment.

If you would like a free resource on the Steps of Discernment, you can download it from Ignatian Ministries (IM) website or search the IM blog, Into the Deep, for articles on discernment, consolation or desolation. Another amazing resource, for all things Ignatian, is IgnatianSpirituality.com.

I wish you abundant peace and calm as you go forward into this new week! Deena

Photo: prayer candles at a church in Orvieto Italy.