Category: a school of God’s service

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We wait in hope – First Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, advent, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Today is the First Sunday in Advent, the beginning of the Church’s liturgical new year. We begin the year with reminders of the promises of God and with cautions to put aside works of darkness and to stay awake and be ready. We begin the year waiting, not celebrating.

There are certainly different kinds of waiting, some easier to bear than others. We can be excited waiting, as we would waiting for the birth of a child being born to loved ones or excited waiting to leave on a vacation we have been planning. We might feel anxious waiting if we are waiting to hear from the doctor after having tests done or when we sense a change coming to a job due to corporate restructuring. We can wait with nervous anticipation to hear about a job that we really want, sensing that we did well during the interview. I suppose there are as many ways that we wait as there are the personalities of each of us. Waiting isn’t always easy. We all handle waiting differently and as I heard Dr. Arthur Brooks, one of my favorite leadership speakers and authors, say recently, we don’t wait well. We run from waiting, distracting ourselves with our phones, TV or other preoccupations.

Advent waiting is different. Sadly, it is a waiting that often gets muffled and diminished by the preparations for more secular aspects of Christmas such as shopping, decorating and parties. As Advent begins we are invited to look within and prepare our hearts. I haven’t gotten to most of my Advent reflections yet today but one posed a question that stopped me from moving through the morning with a careless disregard for the season that begins today. If this Advent was the last one for the world, or for me personally, would I be ready?

As Christians we do wait with hope in a world that is better than the one we live in. We hope for endless bliss, anticipating the joy in the presence of the God we profess to believe in. But if I wait in hope, I must stop and ask whether I am living a life that reflects hope in God’s eternal promise? Do I live with joy and peace even during the trials that appear in my life? Am I spending my time, money and relationships that reflect my belief that all is gift and that I possess those things as a steward, treating them as the fleeting possessions they are? Do I live with generosity for those less fortunate? Do I make choices that reflect my beliefs and share those beliefs with others?

Advent doesn’t have the same penitential aspects that Lent has but we are invited to spend time each day to look within and assess how we’ve been doing. In whatever little ways we are able, let us wait in hope as we listen to God’s promises, we reflect on the narrative of the coming of Jesus in the world over 2000 years ago, and we review our lives in relation to the beliefs we hold and profess.

If you need suggestions for this Advent, please see my blog from last week with a list of resources, online or book format, that you can use for your daily reflection.

Wishing you a abundant hope in the promises of the Christ this Advent, Deena

A special note of thanks to each of you who have been reading and following me as I begin the fourth year of this blog, whether you began in 2022 or recently. I appreciate your support and that you have read and commented, whether personally or publicly, about my musings each week. It has meant the world to me. May peace be with each of you, and our collective community, as we begin this new year.

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Embrace joy

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, visual creative journalingLeave a comment

Joy and happiness are emotional states that are often used interchangeably but actually joy is very different. Happiness might be found in response to life circumstances such as setting and completing a goal. Joy, science is telling us, may be experienced even amidst life hardships or uncertain times. I might not be happy all of the time, but I can experience joy regardless of what is going on in my life by being intentional about certain things in life. For me, my faith and prayer life, are huge contributors to my experience of joy.

An article published by the National Institute of Health in May of this year said that lots of attention is given, in popular psychology, to positive emotions and finding happiness while joy is still an area that would benefit from further study. A study cited, of adults ages 28-59 from the United Kingdom, reported “fostering positive relationships, engaging with nature, and cultivating self-awareness were identified as key strategies for sustaining joy.”

A study of 7000 individuals, reported by National Public Radio in 2023 as part of the BIG JOY Project, reported that “people who commit daily “micro-acts” of joy experience about a 25% increase in emotional well-being over the course of a week.” Emotional well-being was described as attributes such as better coping, less stress, quality relationships, and feelings of hope, optimism and even fun. Examples of the micro-acts of joy included gratitude journaling, doing a random act of kindness, visiting a sick neighbor, celebrating a friend’s joy, or engaging in self-reflection. The researchers asked whether doing these small acts of joy can make a difference and referred to “the ideas of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who both spoke about how it’s possible to feel joy even in the midst of suffering, and to use that feeling to help do good.” Our joy, it seems, help us not only enhance our own well-being but contribute to the lives of others when we use our joy as a motivation to share with and help others in the world. I am sure we can think of others in our personal circle, or the wider circle of our communities, that could use a bit more joy these days.

Randy Taran, founder of Project Happiness, wrote in her daily email update that “joy isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you choose, amidst the struggle and in life’s tender moments, that make life worth living. Embrace the people and the things that bring your heart healthy doses of joy.” Things like buying yourself flowers, watching the sunset (or I would add, stepping out to experience the Northern Lights this past week), dancing in the kitchen or taking a long route home are some of the suggestions she offered.

Exploring the world of creativity, the impact of expressing myself in creative acts, is also a way to increase joy and mindfulness, while decreasing stress and anxiety. Creativity becomes a means to tap into my own wisdom, gain clarity in difficult situations and decrease stress, either personal situations or response to societal events. Perhaps painting, knitting or crocheting, making handmade cards, or frames like the one I posted as the featured photo, are ways that you might express yourself. A friend, Joan, on Facebook shares her creativity by posting her table settings. They are always expressions of beauty, care and love by the way she has displayed her table. I love creating little vignettes with decorations, like a Thanksgiving display, photo included on blog site, or setting out favorite seasonal items. Some of those items may evoke an emotional response, to a family member or celebrations in the past. It may just be the way the colors you choose make you feel when you look at them. All of these are ways of expressing your inner artist and creative soul.

As we move into preparing for the holidays, days that can be stressful or frantic, how might you engage in a daily micro-act of joy. What can you do each day to reconnect with inner joy or creativity, so that regardless of how holiday planning is going, you find more peace and tranquility? As we find and experience more joy, it will likely spread to those around us!

Wishing you a week of abundant joy and hope, Deena

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A whispering threshold

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a thin veil, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, remembering our beloved dead, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, Uncategorized, visionary faithLeave a comment

I visited the cemetery before Vigil Mass for All Souls Day yesterday (Saturday) afternoon to put small votive candles (as seen in today’s blog photo, I gave up on trying to keep real candles lit in the wind) on our family tombstones, a tradition on the evening of All Saints Day to light the path for souls and a symbol of love and remembrance. A few years ago there used to be groups praying as they visited each gravesite and many more candles. I only see a few now.

I love the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, altars with the many marigolds, pictures, food items and symbols decorating the ofrendas, altars, set up between October 27th and taken down shortly after All Souls Day. You can find many beautiful and elaborate pictures online if it is not celebrated in your area. At my parish, we have a lovely tradition of remembering our beloved dead with candles, many of us provide pictures to be placed by the candles, which will burn all month surrounding the altar. I love to reflect on the candles as all the souls that worship at the altar each Mass with us, Saints and saints, that join in our praise. I will add a photo of the candles this year, below, to the online version of this blog post.

There have been times during the year, or after the passing of someone dear, that I have experienced the thin veil between heaven and earth, the mist of time, more easily. Perhaps that is why I relish these days of All Hallows Eve, All Saints and All Souls so much. We can pause and reflect that it is literally a breath that binds us in our bodies and a more tangible realm. We take so many breaths each day for granted. If you have been with someone as they have breathed their last breath, you know how fragile and temporary life is.

This week, during my Wednesday Adoration time, Fr. Carlson played an organ piece, from the many he has downloaded and saved, that I hadn’t heard before. It was lovely, then dissonant like someone that might have hit the wrong note but it continued. It was jarring and unpleasant at times but then also hauntingly beautiful. I asked him about it afterwards but missed the name except that it was a Babylon meditation (if I get the full title this week, I will footnote it below). We reflected that it seemed a fitting reflection on the exile of Jews from Jerusalem to Babylonia. I later reflected on this symbolically for life. We are exiled, temporarily, from our true home, in Heaven. Life is full of those discordant moments, unsettling and disagreeable, in the middle of beautiful, soothing and joyful times. The next night I had a dream, full of symbolism about my life’s journey. I paused in the morning, journaled about it, not wanting to forget the details that I can reflect on and how they might be inspiration for areas of my life that need transformation. I viewed it as a thin, whispering insight between my conscious and subconscious being.

One of my favorite books, it is likely that I have written about it in the past, is Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. Early in the book she asks us to pause and take a deep breath, reminding us that “Our spirit did not generate itself; neither did we create it. It comes from a Divine Being who has breathed life into you and me, into all of us.” Stanz writes about her Irish heritage, Celtic wisdom and the beauty and symbolism of the “thin spaces and places” in Ireland. “Out of sight…does not mean out of soul.” The souls of those we love walk with us each day and remain close to us.

The Church asks us to pray for all those who have died, especially those who have no one to pray for them, this month of November. A lovely practice is to visit a cemetery and just pray the “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord…” Often as I am driving between the tombstones of my grandparents and my parents I recite that prayer over all the tombstones at the cemetery. In the older section there may no longer be family members to pray for them. Whether you are close to the burial places of your loved ones or not, or others you have known in life, take some time during this month of November to remember them and pray in a special way for their souls. They have gone before us with the sign of faith, and have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection (Eucharistic Prayer in the Roman Canon). We shall join them some day.

“…do not let our brothers and sisters be parted from you, but by your glorious power give them light, joy and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever…Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen” (Give Us This Day post for All Souls Day)

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, in the company of all the Saints, this month. Deena

Candles for our beloved dead at Holy Family Parish, Oglesby.

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Real life, real faith

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Some days faith is hard. Life challenges us with the state of the world or the events of our own lives and families. We have constant updates from so many sources, so our minds are infiltrated with the news, close to home and beyond. The apostles following Jesus didn’t have iPhones or social media updates and still they said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17: 5-10, Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time). I pray the same request on many days!

Earlier this week we celebrated the Memorial of our Guardian Angels. I recalled a night, many years ago, walking the dog late in the evening. It was very late, no one out and about, so I chose to walk him in the middle of the street so he would have plenty of room and could survey the neighborhood. We were halfway down the block, but in the still of the night I heard a car turning the corner, speeding with screeching tires, on the street perpendicular to the one I was walking on. My heart raced as I had a feeling the car would turn onto the street I was walking. But I was frozen. In a split second the car did turn and we faced it head on. Suddenly I felt a push on my left side and looking ahead at the dog saw him move in the same way, looking straight ahead but his body being pushed entirely to the right in the same way that I was being moved. The car sped by. I knew in an instant that I didn’t move us and that we had been spared from being hit. I can’t say I thought of my guardian angel much before that night, after giving up the youthful evening prayer of “Angel of God, my guardian dear…” My faith in the presence of my guardian angel grew on that evening and in the many instances I have been protected since.

I read a reflection by Br. Michael Marcotte, OSB, of Conception Abbey on the Gospel for today. He pondered how we continue to find, and grow in, faith when we can’t see the Lord as the apostles did. He quoted Fr. Jacque Philippe and St. Augustine with thoughts to help us grow in faith. He wrote: “Fr. Jacques Philippe maintains that it is through prayer—especially praying with the scriptures—that our faith increases. He wrote “Faith is the capacity of believers to act not according to impressions, preconceived ideas, or notions borrowed from other people, but according to what they are told by the Word of God, who cannot lie.” (Time for God, p. 9). As St. Augustine put it, “Believe in order to understand.” Faith is not a matter of acquiring the right kind of knowledge. It is about entering into a relationship of trust and love.”

Scripture shows us that God is faithful. If we look at our lives over a broader spectrum of time, I believe that we can see that as well. It can be challenging in the moment so I think that Br. Marcotte’s suggestion offers us a roadmap for the journey. He asked, at the end of his article, that we consider how we can deepen our relationship with Jesus and grow in faith.

I need to spend time on that question this week. Maybe you do too? Then perhaps it will begin with the faith of the mustard seed, and over time, grow into a strong and sturdy conviction and confidence.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: One of the memorials in Portugal where the Angel of Fatima, or the Angel of Peace, visited the shepherd children preparing them for their spiritual mission and teaching them prayers.

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

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Ora et labora

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, ora et labora, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

I have been blessed to work a variety of interesting jobs in my life. I have learned new things in each, which were always helpful for the next adventure in my career. I rarely until more recently in life, viewed the work I did as holy.

The Rule of St. Benedict advises the monks of the abbey (or Oblates like me who choose to follow The Rule in life) that “Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore, the monastics should have specified periods for manual labor as well as for prayerful reading.” (Chapter 48 of the RB) During the time of St. Benedict the monastery did not have slaves to do the work of the monastery as was true during this time in history. Work was part of the basic life of the monastery. Benedict believed that the monastics should not benefit or taken advantage of the labor of others or to be a burden on others. It was a privilege to contribute to the life of the monastery, it was purposeful and valuable to the lives of those living there.

We often hear Ora et Labora, pray and work, as I used in my title for today’s blog, associated with The Rule of St. Benedict. While not actually words written in The Rule, it is a motto that represents the orderliness of prayer and work that St. Benedict believed led to a balanced spiritual life. I also like Esther de Waal’s statement in her book, A Life-Giving Way, that “ora, labora, lege (prayer, work, read) would be preferable” to describe life in the monastery. Monks had assigned tasks, non too burdensome for the person doing the work, their designated times of community prayer during the day, but also the times of prayerful reading (lectio divina) and study so that the mind and heart were engaged in growing too.

For St. Benedict, all work done by monastics was valuable. It was a necessary part of life in the monastery but it was also a way of serving others and serving Christ. In the book, A Little Rule for Beginners, Sr. Joan Chittister reflects on the “American Mind”, suggesting that God “leaves the co-creation of the world to us” and says “Our work is not a “job,” it is a contribution to the good of humankind and each of us must find our own.”

On this Labor Day weekend, let us reflect on the work we do, whether paid, volunteer or within our households, as part of the ongoing work of creation. What are we contributing to the world and to those around us? Are we glorifying being busy? Do we have a balanced approach to the time we spend working and the time we spend in prayer and reflection? Perhaps we can take this day of rest from our labors and reflect on how we view our work, or even ourselves in relation to our work.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope. Deena

Image: A photo of St. Benedict from one of my monastery visits in Arkansas (can’t recall which one) with the words Opus Labor (work, labor) on his Rule.

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Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.

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Pulling out all the stops

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Last week I mentioned that I enjoy watching YouTube videos for entertainment, instruction and reflection. I shared that I enjoy watching Paul Fey and his playing the great organs around the world. If you use technology you know that the algorithms see what you watch and then show more of that type of content to your feed in the way of posts or ads. Sometimes it’s helpful and sometimes it is just plain annoying.

The other night I opened YouTube to watch a video and saw an organ short titled “Pulling out all the stops”. I laughed out loud, not realizing the source of that idiom. I watched as the organist pulled out all the knobs on the side of the organ and how the sound of the organ changed and amplified.

My post photo today is our organ at Holy Family Church. You will see the stops on the side, we have about 30 or so stop knobs on our beautiful organ. On the large organ at Holy Name Cathedral in Chicago, built by Flentrop Orgelbouw, (image from my recent visit to Holy Name pasted at the bottom of this blog) there are 71 stops and 5,558 pipes. The stops are the primary way that an organist controls and shapes the sound that is produced by the organ. They produce the pitch and tone of the sound and allows the air to flow through the pipes on the organ.

The use of the phrase, “pulling out all the stops”, suggests that we are going to do everything in our power to make something happen or to succeed. I paused to think about this with regard to our faith life. What if we pulled out all the stops in our daily prayer and living of the Gospel message? What if I lived “full out” in my belief that I am a beloved daughter of the Father and a disciple and friend of Christ? Am I living my life in a world of “just okay” when God has something greater in store for me and my life? To use the organ analogy, by pulling out all the stops, can I get the loudest, fullest, deepest expression of what I am meant to be in life?

The Gospel message this weekend for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary time encourages us in persistent prayer. Jesus, in Luke’s version, assures us to be confident in our prayer, to be bold and persistent. In our Old Testament reading, Abraham is bold in convincing God to spare Sodom if there are at least 10 faithful individuals who remain in the city destined for destruction. Jesus guides us to approach God, as our loving Father, confident and trusting.

That’s what I want in my faith life! Deep, rich, vibrant spirituality lived with passion and confident trust that God knows all I need and desire to live my best life giving glory to him! Are you living in a world of “just okay” or are you willing to place your trust in God and pull out all the stops in living that faith?

Wishing you abundant peace, trust, and hope this week, Deena

The organ at Holy Name Cathedral from the nave, or main seating area, of the Cathedral.

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Playing your hand

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, curious and receptive, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I love YouTube videos! I can find something to satisfy every mood – videos to learn a crafting technique, Paul Fey visiting and playing organs in various churches and countries around the world, news reports (especially when I stopped streaming TV and wanted to catch up on events) and listening to and reflecting on various spiritual talks and discussions.

Last night, Saturday evening, was one of those nights when I wanted to listen to something inspirational. I had a strong desire to further reflect on my week and some of the things that came up in prayer and journaling, trying to make sense of what action might be next for me. A video by Fr. Gregory Pine, a very popular Dominican priest and conference speaker, popped up in my YouTube feed so I followed the serendipity of the moment and watched his talk at SEEK25. I’ve watched many of his talks in the past so I knew it would be worth the time to listen.

During the conference talk, Fr. Gregory, said that in life we need to play the hand we have been dealt. He said that the journey is to honestly reflect on the cards we have. We can look at others and say yes, there are others who are more talented or more gifted, but how are we going to play our hand? The goal is to “play the game beautifully even if you don’t have the best cards.” As we look at our lives we might not love what we find or where we are, but that’s ok because it is a starting point, the “Lord made you good, and he loves you, and he loves your destiny more than you do, and he is excited about the prospect of conducting you hence, strongly and sweetly.”

If you have been reading this blog over the past (almost) three years, you know well that I am always looking for ways to grow spiritually and improve my life. It has become more clear in the past year that I also want to discern the ways that I can help others do that. The past week or so has been a time of intense questioning of that desire and how that might come to life. I have to be honest and admit that in assessing thoughts about the “how” I have gotten dragged down and was melancholy about when it was going to become clear to me.

A couple of things happened this week that reminded me, as Fr. Gregory did, to slow down and trust the process and divine timing. Wednesday during my weekly two hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, during our parish Adoration time, I read a reflection by Christina Leano (on the staff of the Laudato Si Movement) in my Give Us This Day prayer guide that invited me to lean into curiosity and just show up in prayer, to simply ask “God, how do you want me to be with you right now?” and “rest knowing that the answer is secondary”. It was powerful and while letting go of the answer I might have been looking for, I was gifted with an insightful time of conversation with Christ. I was loved and beheld as simply who I am.

The next day I happened upon a seminar that might be helpful to me as I seek to use my gifts to help others. Then later in the week I listened to podcast that introduced me to some new concepts that are used in spiritual counseling. I was so excited about learning new ways that are being used to combine faith and spirituality in the realm of counseling, psychology, and brain science. I look forward to reading more about it, and my guess is, that in some way, it’s also a preparation and foundation for the healing work that will be experienced during my week long retreat the first week of August.

So Saturday evening, after listening to Fr. Gregory, I smiled in awe and gratitude in the ways that God might be aligning things in my path to pay attention to. I am also reminded today, in Luke’s Gospel for the Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, in the familiar story of Martha and Mary, that it is important to take the time to listen in prayer. Being busy, always doing, distracts from seeing those hints from God as they show up. It’s essential to be still and to be watchful for the guidance as it appears. But before all of that happens, it’s also important to know what it is I am seeking, to ask for the grace to be guided.

What grace do you seek this week? How might you just “show up” and sit in curiosity, watchful for the signs of God’s grace as they appear? Can you find time in your day to just sit and be held in the loving gaze and presence of God? You don’t need an agenda, or things to discuss, just show up and simply BE.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: Flowers and a bench on my patio