Category: Teachers and Guides on the journey

Alert and listening

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

I have to admit there have been times that I was listening to someone and not hearing what they said. Have you ever listened to a speech, a lecture, a homily, or even a conversation with a friend, and realized you missed what was being communicated? We may be tired, distracted or preoccupied but we can’t really hear what the other person is saying unless we are awake, attentive and active in our listening. I would add that we have to be open to what is being said as well. If I have already decided that there is nothing to be gained from the person speaking, I certainly won’t hear anything.

Yesterday I attended the first session, for me and for the year, of a monthly creative expression workshop offered by visual artist, Lisa Sonora. I have been feeling that I haven’t been expressing my creativity enough lately, so I was instantly attracted to an email Lisa sent earlier this month. Yes, I write this blog and create written content for work, but visual art expression with photos, stamps, ink, paint and my journals has been on a sabbatical for months. I love the tag line on Lisa’s site for her workshops – “Make Art. Feel Better.” I know when I am creating with color and different medium, something comes alive in me. Of course I have to put judgement and comparison aside, that isn’t the point of creative expression. It is letting that inner voice that desires to speak do so. I saw a post this week that I shared to my crafting page on Facebook and loved the sentiment by a crafts and yarn supplier, Mary Maxim, “Crafting may not solve all my problems, but it solves enough of them.” I could not agree more!

In the workshop session we didn’t actually create anything, we listened and then journaled. Lisa asked us questions and we began the “dreaming and scheming” of those voices and desires we keep quiet. I can’t say I was shocked or surprised by my answers to the questions Lisa asked. But I definitely heard from the creative voice within that is longing to express herself. So, I am going to make a point this year to listen to that voice and provide the nurturing and support to let that voice have a place in my life.

The first reading for the Second Sunday of Ordinary Time is one of my favorites, from the first Book of Samuel (1 Samuel 3:3b-10,19). The young Samuel is sleeping in the temple and hears a voice call him. He assumes it is his mentor and teacher, Eli and goes to him and asks what he needs. This happens a couple of times before Eli realizes that Samuel is not attentive to the voice of the Lord and guides him to respond to the Lord the next time he hears the voice. Eli tells Samuel to respond “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” There are a couple of key points in the scripture that relate to what I am trying to say in this blog this week. Samuel is not alert or aware of the Voice speaking to him. His teacher, Eli, helps him understand. Then Samuel has to respond to the call he is hearing.

We need to be awake and alert to hear those inner desires of our heart. St. Ignatius of Loyola would say that those desires help us to hear the call to live the unique purpose for which we were created. Often times we, like Samuel, need a guide, a spiritual director, a mentor or teacher to help us discern the call. Lastly we need to respond, take a step in the direction of that purpose. If we remain sleeping and unaware, then we will continue to run to the wrong places and potentially miss an opportunity to respond and live out that call.

Pick up a journal and some colorful markers and draw this weekend. If you don’t feel you can draw freehand just yet, or wouldn’t know where to start, pick up coloring book and crayons. If you don’t have a coloring book, there are plenty of free coloring pages online such as mondaymandala.com to download, print and color. While coloring, ask yourself, “What part of my life, work or relationships feels stagnant or asleep? What would I be willing to invite in to change that?” Then listen, really listen to the inner part of you that knows the answer and is longing to tell you. Listen with the ear of your heart (Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict). Take some notes, journal, write it down. You don’t even have to do anything with that information yet. Just listen and watch to see what shows up in your life. I’ll check back again during the year on this. Feel free to send me a message if you want to share some of thoughts before then.

Create joy, Deena

Images: Blog cover; a page in one of my art journals from 2020, created as part of a class but then also written about in my photo journal soon below.

Remember to stop and breathe

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

As I sat in quiet reflection before Mass on Saturday evening I was reading from Evening Prayer (Give Us This Day monthly prayer book) and was cut to the heart by the scripture from 1 Peter 4:8-11. “…let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining.” FAIL.

I have to admit one of the worst weeks I have ever had dealing with anger, rage, irritation, reaction to others… The circumstances may have warranted frustration, or not being satisfied with the way an event unfolded, but anger and rage? A wise person once told me anger was simply frustrated will. This week I would have to agree with that!

There I was feeling fully convicted, right before having to approach the ambo to proclaim the Word of God as lector for the Mass. The words of the Responsorial Psalm 138, literally stuck in my throat “I will give thanks to you, O Lord, with all my heart, for you have heard the words of my mouth;” I had to take a nanosecond to regroup. Give thanks that God heard all the hateful words I spewed out this week? Give thanks for the times that I said “this isn’t worth it!” (life, faith, times of intense humility after needing to ask for help).

The gospel for this week, Sunday August 27, is Matthew 16: 13-20 in which Jesus tells Peter that he will build the church upon him. Peter who messes up countless times and Peter, who Jesus knows will deny Him during His time of need. I felt some hope. “Your kindness O Lord endures forever” (Psalm 138).

Earlier in the day on Saturday I was part of a retreat on the 14th century book (letters written by an anonymous monk to a student or disciple) The Cloud of Unknowing, hosted by Abbey of the Arts, presented by award winning translator Carmen Acevedo Butcher. The book has long been considered as the source for the practice of Centering Prayer, a form of Christian contemplation. When we take the time to sit, or walk as Carmen prefers at times, to go within, to listen in silence, we will encounter “God’s unabsent being” and the “soul is helped by grace”. It was a lovely reminder to return to the practice of my breath work and silent prayerful meditation at the end of a week that was so completely in need of grace.

This morning as I was finalizing some of these thoughts to post in the blog, I also read Judith Valente’s blog for this week, Practicing the “Psychological Hygiene” of Compassion. I was delighted for the additional reminders of a way to practice letting go of anger and welcome a stance of compassion in its’ place. I would encourage you to read her blog.

“Close the doors and windows of your spirit against the onslaught of pests and foes and prayerfully seek his strength; for if you do so, he will keep you safe from them.” Anonymous/The Cloud of Unknowing

Create Joy, Deena

Our other gods

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

On Friday of this week, Give Us This Day, shared a poem written by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (d. April 2020) from her book, Seasons of Your Heart, as the daily reflection. Macrina is one of my favorite Benedictine poets and authors. It brought back found memories of an Oblate Conference in Arkansas in 2015. We listened to many speakers share their thoughts on the conference theme of “Nurturing Benedictine Spirituality: From Theory to Practice”.

We visited several local attractions such as, Mount Magazine, this highest point in Arkansas and a winery. We traveled to Fort Smith, Arkansas, to attend prayer and have dinner with the sisters of St. Scholastica. I had the great pleasure of being at the dinner table with delightful and joyful women. One of those women said her name quickly and then bantered throughout the dinner with Sr. Karen from the monastery in Ferdinand, Indiana. She was silly and frivolous, almost flighty. The conversation was full of laughter and joy.

It wasn’t until the next day, when a woman came on stage to offer a keynote presentation that I realized it was the same woman I heartily laughed through dinner with. Macrina spoke about Benedictine spirituality and elements that are an essential part of integrating this spirituality into our lives; living awake, living more simply and the daily practice of Lectio Divina (sacred reading of scripture). She talked about being mindful in every moment of our lives, a theme you will find in her books. Her talk moved me, not only because of the key points that she invited and challenged us to consider, but because I saw that she embodied what she spoke about. She was joyful, spontaneous, astute and wise. She was completely genuine and had no desire to make herself the center of attention. She personified the aspects of Benedictine spirituality to which I aspire, especially humility.

I am sure the wisdom she radiated was gained from a lifetime of integrating the elements of which she spoke and that this poem voice. I will share a few lines of the poem below that I have been sitting with since Friday.

The God I was trying to love was too demanding

And so I looked for other gods who would ask less of me…

Possession, recognition, power!

I bowed before them but my hunger only deepened…

But my true God never lost sight of me and in that lies my salvation

for in one desperate moment

smothered by gods who couldn’t save me

I prayed for a God would fill my lies with truth…

God heard that prayer and loved me

I was given back to myself,

and taught how to answer my own prayer

so that with other believers I might again proclaim:

Jesus Christ is Lord!

Peace, Deena

Photo: from my photos taken during the Oblate Conference in Subciaco, Arkansas. This photo is the Coat of Arms/Logo of St. Scholastica Monastery in Arkansas. Macrina made her home there with the Sisters of St. Scholastica.

A Canticle of Living

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Most high, all powerful, all good Lord! All praise is Yours, all glory, all honor, and all blessing.

Yesterday I attended the 75th jubilee of my cousin, Sr. Mary Frances Seeley, at the “Motherhouse Chapel” as it is still fondly called although the building has been sold to the University of St. Francis for administrative offices and classrooms. Sr. Mary Frances, along with several other members of her Franciscan Community, the Sisters of St. Francis of Mary Immaculate, including sisters from their community in Brazil, celebrated their jubilees. Combined there was a celebration of 480 years of religious life and another 100+ of Associate commitment (Associates are lay members of the Franciscan community just as I am an Oblate of a Benedictine Community.). I was so happy I attended but it was a day flooded with memories too.

When I was a college student at St. Francis we did not attend Masses or religious services in the “Motherhouse Chapel”, we had a separate chapel in the Tower Building of USF. But I have been in the Motherhouse chapel many times. My aunt, Sr. Evarista, was also a member of this community. Of course we visited the Motherhouse when I was growing up, during those years we weren’t allowed to go in the living areas. Sr. Evarista was the one that invited me to consider the possibility of attending college at St. Francis. She was also the person that ignited my high school interest in psychology and sociology. As I sat in the chapel and reflected on the years of service and faithfulness being honored I reflected on the many hours that Sr. Evarista would have prayed in that chapel or walked those halls. I was overwhelmed with her presence. I visited with Sr. Kathleen, being honored for her 60 year jubilee, who was the campus minister when I attended St. Francis. She counseled and consoled me many times during my years, particularly the early ones when I was trying to figure things out and find my way. She remembered me and looked at me with the same loving, caring eyes that she did over 40 years ago. A college friend, Sr. Jeanne Bessette, is now President of their community. I watched her lead the community on this special day with the same grace, humility and humor that she had as a young college woman.

As I watched, remembered and prayed for these women, I found myself questioning all my life decisions and what would have happened if I responded “yes” to Sr. Carlene’s invitation to join the community. Where would I be now? What work would I have accomplished? Would I feel that my life has had more meaning and purpose?

The reflection, given by Sr. Margaret Hoffman, after the gospel (Amen to that!) shared lovely stories of trusting in God’s providence and handing worries over to God. I am sure the many years of service in various areas have not been without worry and have demanded great confidence that God will provide. They have served in many areas such as teaching, financial and administrative positions, community services, hospital and care for the elderly, and crisis care and suicide prevention (Sr. Mary Frances founded the Upper Room Crisis Center, is working on the publication of a book and has spent many years in leadership training and consulting in crisis management and suicide prevention ).

Sr. Margaret’s message hit me hard. The decisions I have made have led me where I am. There is no point in regret or questioning. “Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?” (Matthew 25-27, 33-34) I must say the same as Sr. Margaret in her closing comment, and the theme for their Jubilee Celebration: For all that has been, Thanks. To all that shall be, Yes. (Dag Hammarskjold).

Laudate et benedicete mi Signore et rengratiate e seruiteli cum grande humilitate.

Translated: Praise and bless my Lord, and give thanks, and serve Him with great humility.

Peace, Deena

Opening and Closing Verses from Canticle of the Creatures, by St. Francis.

Image – art by Guistina de Toni I found hanging on the walls of the Motherhouse. I can’t find anything on this artist except to confirm the name. I am on a mission to find out more!