Category: Spiritual Journey

Endless, inexhaustible mercy

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Life in the Spirit, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

One of the things I am learning, and appreciate, about the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola is that it begins with the premise, in the First Principle and Foundation, that God’s love for each one of us, individually, is endless and unconditional. We have unique gifts and talents, along with our deepest desires, that God wants us to realize and fulfill, to the ultimate purpose of living with God forever. A person making the Exercises is invited to spend time in this First Principle and Foundation, considering this love, before moving on to the other “weeks”. It is only then that we look at how our response to God’s love has been impacted by the sin in our lives, how to follow Jesus more closely, a consideration of Jesus’ passion and death and then the joy of the Resurrection.

Today is Divine Mercy Sunday, the Second Sunday of Easter. I enjoy the gospel of Thomas’ encounter with Jesus, Jesus’ greeting of “Peace” in a room full of his frightened apostles, men that abandoned him, and the prayers of Divine Mercy, but I think I haven’t been approaching the day quite right. I hope it makes sense as you read this.

I found a quote by Thomas Merton to reflect on while trying to look at Mercy a new way. It’s from his book “No Man is an Island”.

“But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet recognizes that he may be the object of God’s love precisely because of his shortcomings, can begin to be sincere. His sincerity is based on confidence, not in his own illusions about himself, but in the endless, unfailing mercy of God.”

Last week, on Holy Thursday, as I traveled to various parishes to visit their Altars of Repose, I found myself contemplating the prayer of Jesus before his arrest and the brutal treatment of sentencing and crucifixion. I prayed, “I am so sorry. Can you forgive us for how we treated you?” I instantly heard, in my mind, an answer to that prayer. “You are forgetting, I already have, that’s what Good Friday was all about.” Wow. It changed my prayers and reflections on Good Friday, Holy Saturday and Easter and I have been contemplating it all week.

Yesterday in the Modern Mystics class I am participating in, Fr. Ron Rolheiser gifted us with his presentation on priest, writer and theologian Henri Nouwen, “The Light of Tenderness”. During the presentation he said, speaking of Nouwen’s writing, that “the heart is stronger than our wounds”. He said that Nouwen believed that we have to live our wounds vs. think about them, we have to take them from our head to our heart and live them so they don’t destroy us. I understood this to mean, for me, that we accept and learn from our wounds instead of rationalizing them, finding people to blame for them or continuing to dwell in them.

We can do this, it occurred to me, only if we believe in that “unfailing mercy of God” that Merton spoke of. I can remain in the posture of constantly trying to understand why I did what I did, keep asking for forgiveness, for the mistakes I have made, over and over again, or I can accept that Mercy and move on. Instead of dwelling on the reason I seek Mercy, I can share the joy of experiencing that Mercy in my life. Otherwise, it seems, I haven’t truly believed in the gift of Jesus’ death and resurrection or the gift of God’s Mercy.

There is immense freedom in knowing that God knows exactly who I am and who I have been. I don’t have to pretend it was anything else. God’s mercy is inexhaustible, precisely because of God’s love and despite my failed attempts to live as a loving human person to others.

I am going to continue to spend some time with this as we celebrate the Feast of Divine Mercy. I invite you to also consider how we might accept that Mercy more fully and move on with the intention of living with more love and compassion, because that great love and mercy has been gifted to us.

Peace, Deena

Photo: Our Resurrection Window at Holy Family Church, Oglesby.

O truly blessed night

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

O truly blessed night

when things of heaven are wed to those of earth

and divine to the human

I am writing this week on Holy Saturday before the Easter Vigil at our parish. The words above are from the Exsultet, or Easter Proclamation, that is sung during the Easter Vigil. It is usually sung by the priest or a deacon, in the dark with candles lit, after lighting the new Easter Candle representing the Light of Christ, before the Liturgy of the Word. If you didn’t listen to it, or read last week’s post, I included a link to a recording of the Exsultet being sung. It is a beautiful part of Easter Vigil.

It’s been a grace-filled Triduum, the holy days of Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday, for me this year. I hope for you as well and that you had a chance to participate in and savor the beauty of these special days. And so our Lent is concluded. We now rejoice!

The difficult days of Holy Thursday and Good Friday, the betrayal of Jesus and the sorrow of Jesus’ arrest, torture and crucifixion are behind us. As in life, we go through challenging times but eventually, I hope, we see things in a new light. It doesn’t always make it easier when we are in those situations, but we trust that we will get through it, that the “Good Fridays” end and the joy of Easter will come.

I read a post, for Holy Saturday, from Conception Abbey, written by Etienne Huard, OSB: “As we reflect on Jesus in the tomb, let us embrace this period of waiting with patience and faith. Let us trust in God’s promise of new life and resurrection, knowing that even in the darkest moments, His light shines through, bringing hope and renewal to all who believe. May this Holy Saturday deepen our appreciation for the Paschal mystery and prepare our hearts to rejoice in the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

This week I included a photo of one of my favorite frescos from the Museum di San Marco in Florence, Italy painted by Fra Angelico in the rooms of the Dominican convent in the 1400’s. Mary Magdalene encounters Jesus in the garden. In her sorrow, finding the empty tomb, she pleads to know where Jesus’ body has been taken. But then he speaks to her and she sees him, she understands. She knows that the words he spoke, that he would die and rise again, have come to pass.

So on this glorious Easter Day, let us rejoice in the Light of hope that shines for each of us and keep our eyes upon that Light. Let us trust, that regardless of any situations that occur, we can hold on to the hope and peace that we have been promised. The family of poet, author and modern mystic John O’Donohue author a Facebook page of John’s writings. This week they shared a post of Easter Blessings from his book: Walking in Wonder. I was moved by this line, “We were sent to search for the light of Easter in our hearts and when we find it, we are meant to give it away generously.”

I wish you much joy on this Easter Day, as we begin our Easter journey with the Octave of Easter! Easter is 8 days long, lasting until Divine Mercy Sunday next week but the Easter season is 50 days, lasting until Pentecost. We have plenty of time to search for, and rejoice in, the light of Easter!

Peace, hope and joy during this holy Easter season, Deena

Seeking peace

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

On Saturday we met for our monthly Benedictine Oblate gathering to continue our study theme for this year, Peace and Justice, using The Beatitudes of Peace: Meditations on the Beatitudes, Peacemaking, and the Spiritual Life by Fr. John Dear. It’s a fantastic book, but challenging. I think of myself as someone who stands up for peace and justice, but according to Dear’s definition and barometer of being a peacemaker, to stand up, speak out and take public action, I fall terribly short.

One aspect of being a peacemaker is to cultivate and maintain an interior peace. Peacemakers are nonviolent to ourselves, to all those we encounter, all creatures and creation. It’s a tall order! Our study guide posed this question for us to reflect on, “How can you build a more peaceful heart, a more peaceful community?” We discussed that spending time in silence was essential to building a more peaceful heart. It’s important to spend time in the quiet reflecting the love that God has for each of us and to just sit in that loving presence. If I did that every day, I am sure some of the more harsh and judgmental thoughts I have toward myself would begin to slip away and would be replaced with more peaceful and loving thoughts.

The Church begins Passiontide this weekend, with the Fifth Sunday of Lent. Crucifixes and images of saints or Jesus in our churches are veiled. We enter the final two weeks of Lent, preparing to enter into the mysteries of Jesus’ Passion and death. We remove the distractions, quiet our senses and focus interiorly on how we have done with our acts of prayer, penance and almsgiving.

What would it be like to take on an attitude of acceptance and peace as we assess the first four weeks of Lent and prepare for these more intense weeks. It will not help to look back at them and chastise ourselves if we didn’t do all the things we hoped we would. Enter these final two weeks with a peaceful heart and a desire to do what we can for these remaining days of Lent. The goal is contemplate the great love displayed for us in Jesus’ suffering and death. The darkness of these days are overcome by radiant light we celebrate on Easter Vigil and the joy of the Resurrection.

Wishing you much peace, Deena

Image: A photograph of a blooming tree outside the St. Bede Worship Assembly Center where we gathered for our IL Valley Oblate gathering. As Spring begins next week, it might be enjoyable to spend some of that quiet time outside, looking at all the signs of new life around us, in the trees and flowers or listening to the birds. Just “be”, no worry or stress about what tomorrow will bring. Contemplate the love of God expressed in the world around you.

Walking behind great women

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Some of these blogs start with an idea and a plan and things fall nicely into place. Today my plan was disrupted by the jubilant article written by Maria Shriver in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, “A Woman’s Moonshot”. Maria shares the experience of joining the First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden, for the State of the Union this past Thursday. She shares the story of taking her idea to bring equity to women’s health research for Alzheimer’s, rheumatoid arthritis, menopause, autoimmune diseases and much more to the First Lady last year. Women’s health research has always been underfunded. She acknowledges the First Lady for taking her request seriously and acting quickly. But the best part of her article, for me, was when Maria stated that as the First Lady raised her arm in acknowledgement of the President’s introduction of the health research initiative, she quickly reached out for Maria’s hand to raise it with hers. As Maria says, “She didn’t have to do that, but she did…”

Great women working together for a common goal, that started with an idea or dream! That’s a vision we need for Women’s History Month. If you have a dream, follow it! Don’t give up, even when the road seems bumpy and unsure. Earlier this week I sat with an idea with my journaling cards, from my Visual Journal monthly class project, and thought of all the reasons why it’s too late, will take too long, or that I am not creative enough. Maria Shriver is seeing this dream come to life at 68, granted she has a family history and life experience to walk in bigger circles and perhaps dream bigger dreams, but she follows her dream of living a “life above the noise” and empowering change-makers – “big thinkers, visionaries and visionaries” to move humanity forward. We can each do this, regardless of the size of our circle of influence.

My original plan for this blog, in honor of Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day this week, was to write a litany to the great women, Saints and saints, in my life. Sr. Joan Chittiser’s powerful Litany of Women for the Church has always been a favorite. This link is 2021, but I think this is revised. I had a much older version, perhaps published by Pax Christi, on a well loved prayer card, that I can’t seem to locate now. It calls on great women, channels of the Word, to intercede for us and model what we might become. I wanted my version to include the women in my life that have lifted me up and encourage me along with way.

Besides saying “pray for us” or “intercede for us” you might also use “model for us”, “show us the way”, “teach us”, etc. Don’t we need to pray for and be that for each other?

Who would you include in your litany?

Wishing you the support and encouragement to dream your big dreams! Deena

Image: a photo our Our Lady of Good Counsel window in the Votive Candle Chapel at the Shrine of our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse, WI.

Unceasing prayer

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Wednesday was “one of those days”. It feels like there have been a few of those lately. So after physical therapy and before returning to work, I stopped by the Queen of the Holy Rosary Shrine because I thought they had all day Adoration. I arrived at the Shrine and entered at the end of the Mass for the school children of Trinity Catholic. After Mass and for a brief period of Adoration for the children, they sang songs. Their angelic voices, and the incense being used, lifted my spirit. I watched them leave the church, from my place in the last pew. During that special time of prayer, Fr. Tom asked them to tell Jesus about the people they would like to pray for, to mention their concerns to him. I thought how lucky they are to have that special time each week and that they were reminded that their prayers are heard, that it is important to share them with Jesus. I took it to heart myself.

I also reflected on the fact that they were likely in church at this same time each week, their beautiful songs and prayers being lifted up while the rest of us are busy at work or home. Then I thought, this is true for more than the school children, there are monasteries or churches offering prayers at every moment throughout the world. Just as I was lifted by my chance encounter with the school Mass, I can be lifted by the prayers being said everywhere. I just have to stop, center and connect to those prayers rising like incense.

Constant prayer for the world is one of the main reasons that I discerned a life of a Benedictine Oblate when I was comparing all the various charisms of religious communities and whether I was being called to religious life in the 1990’s. I love so many aspects of each of the various spiritualities, Franciscan, Dominican, Carmelite, etc. and different parts of my personality and spiritual life could align with each. It was frankly hard to choose. Ultimately seeing the call of a monastic to perpetual prayer, by praying the seven hours of prayer, was the call that tugged at my heart and spirit the hardest. That does not mean that every monastery, or Oblate (lay associate) prays those seven hours! I knew I couldn’t live up to that ideal. In fact, most monasteries that I am aware of pray Morning (Lauds), Noon (Sext) and Night Prayer (Vespers and/or perhaps Compline), not all seven hours. But the idea that at some point in the day, my prayers, or desire to pray, would be joined with the continuous and unceasing prayers for the world, solidified my decision. Praying for the world is a lofty goal, especially when most days I get mad at the driver going too fast or too slow around me. But the goal of a monk, an Oblate and frankly all Christians, is to pray without ceasing, keep the love of God alive in our hearts and mind.

In our retreat, A Different Kind of Fast, Christine Valters Painter, reminds us to go to our interior cell, our “cave of the heart” to rest with the Beloved. In our weekly prayer with the desert elders, this week Amma Syncletica reminded us, in a quote offered by Christine, that we can be “solitary in one’s mind while living in crowd”. We don’t have to go away to a monastery or church to pray or be in the presence of the Divine. But we are invited to make the effort and be intentional about the encounter. Wednesday I needed the physical presence of the Eucharist in Adoration, today I rest in the warmth and embrace of Love in the sunshine.

As we continue on our Lenten journey, I invite you to consider the places that you feel most connected to the love of God and how you might join your prayers with all the prayers being lifted up in the world for those in need. If your prayer “list” is typically a personal list for family and friends, perhaps this week part of your Lenten observance could be to lift up all the places and people in the world that are in need of our prayers. As we heard on Ash Wednesday from the Gospel of Matthew; “when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door and pray”.

As I offer my prayers with all the prayers being said throughout the day, you will all be remembered.

Wishing you peace in and through your prayers, Deena

Image: Evening prayer during a visit to Mount St. Scholastica in Atchison, Kansas.

Trusting in new life

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

We have been teased the past week or so with a taste of Spring. Then all of a sudden it was winter again. Today the sun is shining with a forecast of high 60 degrees tomorrow and possibly 70’s on Tuesday, before it drops to 30’s again Weds. January was brutal and February, well, was just February in Illinois. It can be exhausting. I watch my bulbs, and early Spring plants, like my Lenten Rose, starting to grow. I am ready for Spring! Later this week we will cross the threshold into March. I hope it will be a month filled with warm days of sunshine and continued growth.

We are also only entering the Second Week of Lent. Perhaps like me, you began Lent full of enthusiasm and a desire to be renewed in the desert and leave it a transformed person. The early days are easy when desire is strong. Yet, they can be challenging too because the new practices have not yet been firmly established.

Last week, for three nights, I attended a Lenten Rosary Mission at a neighboring parish, hosted by Fr. Gary Blake, with the retreat given by Fr. Lawrence Lew, from England and the Promoter General of the Rosary for the Dominicans. It was wonderful to hear the Fr. Lawrence’s message of Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, how we can learn from and model that love in our desire to serve him and to see our prayers, especially in the Rosary, contributing to all the prayers being prayed for each other and the world, as we trust in God’s providence. To pray in community was uplifting but it also took me out of my newly established Lenten routine of special daily prayers and participating in my online retreat. This weekend I reflected that I didn’t completely return to it after the retreat ended. As a matter of fact, I felt a bit disheartened about doing so.

Mark’s gospel of the Transfiguration reminds us that Jesus wanted to give Peter, James and John a glimpse of heaven, and hope to hold on to in the days ahead, days of his arrest, trial, torture and eventual death on the cross. He had just told them he was going to die, so this was his invitation to see beyond the cross. We know that aside from John and the women of the cross, they all ran and hid in fear, the vision of the Transfiguration a distant memory.

Last Spring, and the Springs before that, likely seem a distant memory to us too. But Spring will come, we are seeing signs of it in nature. So, let’s not be discouraged or tempted to give up our desired fasts or initiatives to enter more deeply in prayer. If one day isn’t so great, do not despair. Start again in the morning with an intention to do better. Today I plan to catch up on the days of my retreat I missed this week and do some journaling.

Let us hold on to that vision of new life that we will encounter at Easter. Lent isn’t about winning a trophy in an Ironman competition of accomplished feats. It’s about growing closer to God, creating more time and space to look closely at our relationship with God. It’s a time to look at the things we spend time on and value in life, considering them from a perspective of our spiritual lives. The Transfiguration gives us hope to hold on during difficult days, with the glimpse of what lies ahead. May we move through these remaining days of Lent with a steadfast spirit of faith!

Wishing you continued strength for your Lenten pilgrimage, Deena

Image: tulips in my flower bed last year

Into the desert

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Here we are in the first week of Lent. We hear in Mark’s brief gospel account of the time that Jesus went into the desert for forty days. It’s an account that sets us up for our forty day pilgrimage and journey into the desert of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

“The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and he remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan. He was among the wild beasts, and the angels ministered to him.”

During his Angelus address today, Pope Francis asked us if we retreat into the desert or try to spend some time reflecting on the disordered passions, the “wild beasts” that stir in our hearts. He said that “the angels bring us good thoughts and feelings, suggested by the Holy Spirit, while the temptations tear us apart. “

We must enter into this season of silence and prayer, during Lent, to ask these important questions. The “Ash Wednesday” days, the short week before the First Week of Lent, of my retreat with Abbey of the Arts, A Different Kind of Fast, has been a thought-provoking entry into the desert. This retreat is also the title of the latest book by Christine Valters Painter, our online abbess and retreat facilitator. We have looked at the things we consume, not just food, that don’t really nourish or satisfy us. We look, during this entire journey, at those “disordered passions”, as Pope Francis labeled them today, in order to make space to grow closer to the Beloved. We look at those activities and habits that keep us from being present and aware, keep us from experiencing greater freedom, as I discussed in last week’s blog.

During the retreat we will journey into the desert, in guided meditations, to learn from the Desert Fathers and Mothers. This week we “spent time” with Abba Arsenius, to glean wisdom on true hunger and what is enough in life. At the end of the meditation Abba Arsenius presents us with a bowl, a bowl that we can fill up with things that no longer serve us and “empty the contents into the hands of the divine.”

I have added a picture of my bowl at the bottom of this post. I actually used it two years ago, the first time I took this retreat. When Lent was over, I put the bowl, wrapped, and safely back in a box in the basement. As soon as Abba Arsenius handed me a bowl, this purple bowl came to my mind. After discussing the contents that I could fill the bowl with each week, I thanked Abba and went downstairs to retrieve it. I thought, while unwrapping it, how many items do I have wrapped or stored in cabinets to be used for a special occasion instead of enjoying them? Then thinking of my other consumption, how many craft supplies do I buy and never use? Do I feel more creative just by having them? Or am I afraid to put myself out there? How many books do I have that have not been read? Do I feel more wise as a result of them sitting on my bookshelves throughout the house (and basement!)? Or is the purchase itself filling some kind of void? Why do I allow time to be filled with less nourishing activities instead of those that bring me peace? Similarly, what foods do I eat in order to stuff down a feeling I prefer not to deal with? What is the food in life that will truly nourish?

Yesterday we took part in a creative ritual to create an altar space, a space with symbols to remind us of this season of pondering the deep questions and to help us enter into our prayer practice. Mine came together easily with items that will remind me of my quest this Lent. I have a stone cross surrounded by stones, that built a cairn during my first Abbey of the Arts retreat, Earth; Our Original Monastery. I have a purple cloth bag to represent the things I have been carrying but desire to be free of. I have beautiful prayer cards that symbolize the journey: St Catherine of Siena, a lovely card I bought in Siena this past Fall, known for her rigorous fasting on vegetables, water and the Holy Eucharist; a card with St Teresa of Avila’s prayer, Let nothing disturb you; a prayer card I picked up in Rome, of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, “Sir, give me this water so that I might not be thirsty…”; and a prayer cards of angels. My hope is that these cards will remind me of those holy saints and angels that accompany me on this journey through Lent.

The questions of Lent are hard ones to ask and replacing them with more life-giving practices takes time. It’s a journey of a lifetime, but a good one to begin during this holy season of Lent. We can ponder the questions of Pope Francis today. What disordered passions or wild beasts consume my life and keep me from more life-giving practices? What might I be invited to let go of? Am I spending time in silence and prayer?

Are there some symbols or objects that you can place in your prayer space to invite you to this time of deeper union with God? I would love to hear what items will assist you during this Lenten pilgrimage.

I wish you great peace, freedom, and inner calm this week, Deena

Images:

The purple bowl that I was invited to bring out during my meditation with Abba Arsenius.

Desert image, as a featured image for this blog, from my PicMonkey account

A desire for freedom

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

When I began the year I decided my “word of the year” was Fortitude. One of the practices I have incorporated in each new year, inspired by many authors and retreat leaders, has been to spend time asking questions and reflecting on the predominant quality or theme I want to grow in during the new year. I feel I lack discipline in many ways, so Fortitude came to mind. However, February has been a month of transitions and new learning, so it doesn’t feel right any longer. So, what word will it be? This week Freedom keeps coming to mind.

Last week I wrote about reflecting on the grace we seek before times of prayer, reflection or meditation. I am excited to begin Lent this week. I see Lent as a time of prayer, fasting and almsgiving that allows us to search our hearts. I have several practices that I hope to incorporate and new teachings to reflect upon. I have found that each of them touch on freedom (physical, emotional and spiritual) in some way, shape or form.

Yesterday was my monthly Creative, Visual Journaling class. Lisa invited us, as she gave us prompts to journal about, to be free of what we think is possible, from what has been part of our past experience and imagine the life we wish to live. We have to start with our mindset, Lisa challenged us. We have to change our minds to think about what is possible. Lisa believes that journaling helps us navigate change and transition, it “gives our subconscious mind the problem to solve”. So I embraced the freedom to imagine the life I want – the who, what, how of a life of using my authentic gifts, boldly and with joy.

Another teaching that has been weaving its way into my daily life and practice has been the desire to live more mindfully. The practice of mindfulness helps us be in the present moment, aware of what we are feeling, setting aside the scattered and distracting thoughts of “later”, “what if”, “how will I be able to?”, “why can’t I”, “should I?”, “how could they”… I am sure you have had similar lists. These thoughts do not serve us. A better way is to be in the moment, aware of the only thing we can be sure of, the present moment. I have read and studied many authors and teachers of mindfulness, Christian and Zen, but a review of mindfulness impacted me in a new way this month.

I shared in a Facebook post this month, that some of you may have seen, that I just began the third year of a Wisdom/Mystics program. The first year was Women Mystics and last year, Celtic Wisdom and Mystics. This year we are studying Modern Mystics. On the first Saturday of February we were blessed with the teaching of Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master and Buddhist teacher, by his student Kaira Jewel Lingo. Kaira Jewel is a teacher in her own right, given authorization to teach by Thich Nhat Hanh, after spending 15 years at Plum Village living and studying with him. Kaira Jewel is an author and teaches many programs, which you can find online or on apps, like Insight Timer.

A simple practice, one of many Kaira Jewel shared with us during our class, is to set the intention (i.e. in the language of my blog last month, name the grace) to be present for yourself. During our slow breath work as part of meditation, or you could do as part of Christian Centering Prayer, is to inhale “I have arrived” and exhale “I am home”. Kaira Jewel shared that we have to first come home to ourselves, to get to the root of our own suffering and to find unity and inter-being with all other persons and species. If “suffering” seems foreign to you, simply think of it as areas we have opportunities to be more aware of, to grow and let go of.

There have been a multitude of ways that the simple practice of returning to the breath, to the home of my body and spirit, has helped me this month. Has it been perfect? No! But I am learning. I tried to be more present listening to others. Instead of thinking of something outside the moment like a “to do” list, I tried to be attentive to what a person was saying to me. I have tried to be present to my physical pain, instead of reacting in anger or fear of it. Physical therapy seemed to go better this week! I have tried to think about why I am eating what I am eating, especially when it is an attempt to stuff down some other feeling or issue I would prefer to avoid. In a moment when I found myself reacting to someone, I came home to my anger and judgement and wondered why I was reacting to their words, then tried to have compassion and understanding for the person speaking, why they might be saying what they were saying.

Again, was it perfect? No, but perfection isn’t the goal, freedom is. Freedom from worry, anxiety, anger, judgment, etc is. All of those feelings do not change the situation so why do I view them as helpful? It was as if I learned that I had left my home unattended for years, just kept the heat on but the dust accumulated.

The leper in today’s Gospel for the Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time desired to be made clean, had the faith that Jesus could do it by his act of will. At that time the man’s leprosy was viewed as an outcome of his sin. So Jesus’ act of healing brought him back into his community, it freed him. Doesn’t our sin, judgment and separation from others do the same for us? We are saying, what I want is more important than what God wants for me or how I might be here for others. Our own need and desire trumps everyone else, including God. Desiring to be made whole, desiring freedom from sin and the accumulation of dust, moves us back into community, with God and others.

Author and dear friend, Judith Valente’s Sunday blog (found on Medium and on Facebook), reflecting on Lent and looking at it in a new way, asks us to examine similar questions, “can I take a hard look at the habits I’ve acquired over the past year that don’t serve me or others well? Can I make a conscious effort to let go of them, to make a fresh start?” Again, freedom, freedom to move beyond the habits of my past with a desire to live with more awareness of and for love for self and others. These questions will be part of my daily examen during Lent!

In her weekly email, and in preparation for our Lenten Retreat, “A Different Kind of Fast”, author Christine Valters Painter discusses the Three Renunciations of theologian of the early Christian Church, John Cassian. Christine says the third renunciation was one she found most powerful, and I would agree, as I read her description of them. The third calls us to “renounce even our images of God so that we can meet God in the fullness of that divine reality beyond the boxes and limitations we create.”

This renunciation challenges me to be free to sit with, be gazed upon by the God who desires to be with me. I can be home with God exactly as I am, knowing that I am loved. I can look at the areas that I hope to grow in greater love and compassion for others. I can desire a purging of old ways with the desire to make more room for God and love of others.

So this Lent, where do you desire greater freedom? What grace do you seek for these 40 days of “retreat”, a time to free yourself of habits that prevent you from listening to and responding to God’s call in your life? May it be a time of growth and greater freedom to love and serve with our lives.

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

Photo: One of the unfinished marble pieces, never freed from the stone, of Michelangelo in Florence.

The grace I seek

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

A way of praying that has become ingrained in me the past couple of years, learning and growing in Ignatian spirituality, has been to begin prayer time reflecting on and naming a grace I seek for that time of prayer, retreat or gathering. It’s very different than praying prayers of petition or praying for intentions, which is also an important part of raising those people and concerns that we have to God. I’ll share a couple of articles, at the end of this post, that will introduce you to naming a grace, if that is not a practice you are aware of. The articles are by two authors that I regard highly, Becky Eldredge and Vinita Hampton Wright. Asking for a grace is “not for God, but for us”, Vinita writes. It is something we are seeking or wish to grow more deeply aware of in our lives. It might be peace, clarity, freedom from anger in a situation, or greater joy.

Yesterday afternoon I read the daily reflection in Give Us This Day by Sr. Colleen Gibson, a Sister of Saint Joseph of Philadelphia. She has a podcast, Beyond The Habit, which I haven’t listened to yet but looks very interesting and frankly, like a lot of fun too! Sr. Colleen speaks of yesterday’s daily Gospel and Solomon’s request for wisdom and an understanding heart. She reminds us that having a discerning heart, to seek wisdom in our daily lives, is a “gift and a muscle”. We have to exercise and use it. She also comments that asking for a grace is a “first of many steps on the spiritual journey.” The gifts or grace that we ask for may not come to us the way that we expect but they are graces we then have to use.

To slow down and reflect on that which we are seeking in prayer helps us, I have found, center and ground ourselves before the prayer. It makes the prayer more intentional, our eyes and hearts become open to see and hear what God might want to say to us or invite us to consider.

Lent begins this month on February 14th. Those of us that grew up Catholic typically prepare for Lent thinking about what we want to “give up”. Yes, this is still important. Giving up a favorite food or behavior helps us learn about sacrifice, perhaps offering that sacrifice for the needs of others. It also helps us clear our thoughts and minds of things that are habitual or distract us from God’s presence. It isn’t about a diet or another chance to revive a forgotten New Year’s resolution but rather make space for God.

This Lent I invite you to spend some time thinking about a grace that you seek this Lent. This will then open the way to consider what you would like to “fast” from this Lent. You might also consider a program or book that will help you on this journey toward the grace you are seeking. I once read that The Missionaries of Charity, the order founded by St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, read the book Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen during the 40 days of Lent. It’s a large book, so not one that you could fall behind on daily reading but rather develop the daily habit of reflecting on the life of Jesus. Many other publishers, such as Loyola Press, Ascension Press or Word on Fire Catholic Ministries (there are many others!) have books or daily reflection programs if that is something you would find helpful. (See below for information regarding the daily Individual Path of Prayer for Lent that we offer from Ignatian Ministries.)

I will be participating in a second offering of A Different Kind of Fast by Abbey of the Arts. We walked through the sections of Christine Valters Painter’s book two years ago and now that the book has been edited and published we will be walking through it again this Lent. As Christine wrote in her weekly newsletter today, “Ultimately, the practice of fasting is about making more space within us to encounter our deepest, most radiant selves. How do we listen to the whispers of the Holy One when we constantly distract ourselves with social media and doomscrolling. How do we discover the radical abundance available to us, not of food or entertainment, but of nourishing gifts like joy, peace, love, and gratitude? How do we make room for the grief inside us which is a witness to how much we have loved if we are fighting to be strong and keep control in an unpredictable world?”

You have some time but begin to think about Lent before we arrive there on Ash Wednesday. This time will allow you to really reflect on the grace you seek. What would you like Lent to look like this year? What do you hope for your spiritual life as you move through the forty days of Lent? What practice might you add that will enrich your daily practice of prayer and reflection? What Lenten sacrifice or fast would clear the way in your heart and mind for a closer relationship to Jesus?

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

The articles I mentioned above:

Gathering the Graces by Becky Eldredge, August 2020

Asking for the Grace to Want the Grace by Vinita Hampton Wright, June 2019

Jesus: Companion in our Suffering, An Ignatian Prayer Path for Lent, Ignatian Ministries, 2024

Image from my photos, the prayer and adoration chapel at St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island.

Delighting in the simple things

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

We’re beginning the Third Week in Ordinary Time this week. Merriam-Webster defines ordinary as a common quality, rank or ability; of a kind to be expected in the normal order of events. So, ordinary is not anything that we get excited about. Ordinary implies nothing monumental or note-worthy. But I began to view “ordinary” differently this weekend. I reflected that we can miss out on the wonder of the ordinary moments and I contemplated delighting in the simple things of life, simple moments that transform a day.

We’re studying the topic of Peace and Justice this year as our study for the Oblate program of St. Mary Monastery. We are reading several articles and the book, The Beatitudes of Peace by John Dear.

This week was a hectic week at Ignatian Ministries. I’m not sure it was entirely due to the Martin Luther King holiday on Monday, but rather the amount of work we wanted to accomplish in the week, regardless of the number of days. There were the normal daily tasks of email communication and preparations for a new class that Becky Eldredge, our founder, begins on Wednesday. Becky had preparations for other meetings and a retreat this weekend. I prepared the weekly blog post that emails tomorrow morning. Our team worked to provide data for a quarterly review, that I prepared the PowerPoint for and presented on Friday, as well as launching our Lent Path of Prayer Series for individuals and small group leaders by end of day on Friday. The quarterly review and Lent series were essentially my tasks as part of my role as Director of Programming, a part-time position, while still coordinating some of Operations reporting, so I was feeling the weight of getting those tasks accomplished by the end of the week. On Thursday and Friday, I found myself sitting at my desk, shoulders hunched, not giving myself the periodic breaks that a body needs, stretching or exercising, or drinking the water I committed to drink as part of the 14 Day Reset program I am doing. I know better, I told myself, but choose to ignore the thought.

So by 7 p.m. on Friday I was ready to settle in and read my assignment for Saturday’s Oblate Meeting. The author, in the chapter, Blessed are the meek, wrote of simple ways that we can become more nonviolent individuals, and in doing so, protect the earth and her creatures. First, we need to examine and adopt more gentle, kind and steadfast nonviolent behavior as part of our daily practice, to become more conscious in our daily living. He also, as a second point, invited us to spend more time in daily meditation with God so that we can become aware of the times our thoughts are not so gentle, peaceful or meek. We can “disarm” our hearts and begin to live more at peace with ourselves and each other. There were certainly moments during the week I could have benefited from that quiet meditation!

Then his third point was the one that brought me to the greatest self-awareness and desire to resume a more quiet and gentle perspective to my daily routine. John Dear stated that “in this ever-deepening spirit of gentleness and nonviolence, we delight in the simple things of life – the morning sunrise, the gentle breeze, the ocean waves, the night stars, the moon, the meow of a cat, the beauty of a caterpillar, the flight of a hummingbird, the howl of the coyote, the rain, the snow, and everyone we meet – the whole web of life.” Inside I cried “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I paused as I read and thought of the brief moment I pause each morning to look at the brightening pink and purple sky of winter, the birds that perch on the back fence waiting for the seed I have been giving them in the backyard instead of trudging through the deep snow on the side of the house to the bird feeders, the stretch of Butters and Bela, my cats, when I peek in at them and gently disturb their napping. Lately, the beauty of the falling snow. Those noticings take but a brief pause in the day. I certainly can afford a brief pause every hour of the day and wonder how they might, as John suggests, disarm the less peaceful thoughts that swirl around when I become restless and agitated over activities I allow to take priority over a calm spirit.

Just as I was writing this, Butters waited patiently by the sliding door for me to open it so that he could stick his nose outside or even take a few brave steps onto the patio. He doesn’t last long with the below zero temps we have had but he loves to venture out for a few minutes. I leave the door open so he can come right back in and then enjoy the air from the warmth of the little rug in the sunshine, when it is shining. As I let him out, preparing him for the chilly air, I paused to enjoy the long icicles hanging from the building next door and the patches of bright blue sky behind the cloud-covered sky. Yes, I thought, do more of this!

As you go through this new week, I invite you to pause a second longer when something of beauty grabs your attention, savor it, breathe it in. Rest a moment there. Be more attentive to the wonders of nature, even if it’s only in your backyard. Become aware of those creatures that play a “necessary role in God’s great design” and as we slow down, we will become more peaceful individuals, and in doing so, we will also be individuals more aware of our planet and our role protecting it.

Peace, Deena

Picture: from my photo album of an amaryllis that was blooming in December.