Category: Life in the Spirit

Into the desert

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Here we are in the first week of Lent. We hear in Mark’s brief gospel account of the time that Jesus went into the desert for forty days. It’s an account that sets us up for our forty day pilgrimage and journey into the desert of prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

“The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and he remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan. He was among the wild beasts, and the angels ministered to him.”

During his Angelus address today, Pope Francis asked us if we retreat into the desert or try to spend some time reflecting on the disordered passions, the “wild beasts” that stir in our hearts. He said that “the angels bring us good thoughts and feelings, suggested by the Holy Spirit, while the temptations tear us apart. “

We must enter into this season of silence and prayer, during Lent, to ask these important questions. The “Ash Wednesday” days, the short week before the First Week of Lent, of my retreat with Abbey of the Arts, A Different Kind of Fast, has been a thought-provoking entry into the desert. This retreat is also the title of the latest book by Christine Valters Painter, our online abbess and retreat facilitator. We have looked at the things we consume, not just food, that don’t really nourish or satisfy us. We look, during this entire journey, at those “disordered passions”, as Pope Francis labeled them today, in order to make space to grow closer to the Beloved. We look at those activities and habits that keep us from being present and aware, keep us from experiencing greater freedom, as I discussed in last week’s blog.

During the retreat we will journey into the desert, in guided meditations, to learn from the Desert Fathers and Mothers. This week we “spent time” with Abba Arsenius, to glean wisdom on true hunger and what is enough in life. At the end of the meditation Abba Arsenius presents us with a bowl, a bowl that we can fill up with things that no longer serve us and “empty the contents into the hands of the divine.”

I have added a picture of my bowl at the bottom of this post. I actually used it two years ago, the first time I took this retreat. When Lent was over, I put the bowl, wrapped, and safely back in a box in the basement. As soon as Abba Arsenius handed me a bowl, this purple bowl came to my mind. After discussing the contents that I could fill the bowl with each week, I thanked Abba and went downstairs to retrieve it. I thought, while unwrapping it, how many items do I have wrapped or stored in cabinets to be used for a special occasion instead of enjoying them? Then thinking of my other consumption, how many craft supplies do I buy and never use? Do I feel more creative just by having them? Or am I afraid to put myself out there? How many books do I have that have not been read? Do I feel more wise as a result of them sitting on my bookshelves throughout the house (and basement!)? Or is the purchase itself filling some kind of void? Why do I allow time to be filled with less nourishing activities instead of those that bring me peace? Similarly, what foods do I eat in order to stuff down a feeling I prefer not to deal with? What is the food in life that will truly nourish?

Yesterday we took part in a creative ritual to create an altar space, a space with symbols to remind us of this season of pondering the deep questions and to help us enter into our prayer practice. Mine came together easily with items that will remind me of my quest this Lent. I have a stone cross surrounded by stones, that built a cairn during my first Abbey of the Arts retreat, Earth; Our Original Monastery. I have a purple cloth bag to represent the things I have been carrying but desire to be free of. I have beautiful prayer cards that symbolize the journey: St Catherine of Siena, a lovely card I bought in Siena this past Fall, known for her rigorous fasting on vegetables, water and the Holy Eucharist; a card with St Teresa of Avila’s prayer, Let nothing disturb you; a prayer card I picked up in Rome, of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, “Sir, give me this water so that I might not be thirsty…”; and a prayer cards of angels. My hope is that these cards will remind me of those holy saints and angels that accompany me on this journey through Lent.

The questions of Lent are hard ones to ask and replacing them with more life-giving practices takes time. It’s a journey of a lifetime, but a good one to begin during this holy season of Lent. We can ponder the questions of Pope Francis today. What disordered passions or wild beasts consume my life and keep me from more life-giving practices? What might I be invited to let go of? Am I spending time in silence and prayer?

Are there some symbols or objects that you can place in your prayer space to invite you to this time of deeper union with God? I would love to hear what items will assist you during this Lenten pilgrimage.

I wish you great peace, freedom, and inner calm this week, Deena

Images:

The purple bowl that I was invited to bring out during my meditation with Abba Arsenius.

Desert image, as a featured image for this blog, from my PicMonkey account

A desire for freedom

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

When I began the year I decided my “word of the year” was Fortitude. One of the practices I have incorporated in each new year, inspired by many authors and retreat leaders, has been to spend time asking questions and reflecting on the predominant quality or theme I want to grow in during the new year. I feel I lack discipline in many ways, so Fortitude came to mind. However, February has been a month of transitions and new learning, so it doesn’t feel right any longer. So, what word will it be? This week Freedom keeps coming to mind.

Last week I wrote about reflecting on the grace we seek before times of prayer, reflection or meditation. I am excited to begin Lent this week. I see Lent as a time of prayer, fasting and almsgiving that allows us to search our hearts. I have several practices that I hope to incorporate and new teachings to reflect upon. I have found that each of them touch on freedom (physical, emotional and spiritual) in some way, shape or form.

Yesterday was my monthly Creative, Visual Journaling class. Lisa invited us, as she gave us prompts to journal about, to be free of what we think is possible, from what has been part of our past experience and imagine the life we wish to live. We have to start with our mindset, Lisa challenged us. We have to change our minds to think about what is possible. Lisa believes that journaling helps us navigate change and transition, it “gives our subconscious mind the problem to solve”. So I embraced the freedom to imagine the life I want – the who, what, how of a life of using my authentic gifts, boldly and with joy.

Another teaching that has been weaving its way into my daily life and practice has been the desire to live more mindfully. The practice of mindfulness helps us be in the present moment, aware of what we are feeling, setting aside the scattered and distracting thoughts of “later”, “what if”, “how will I be able to?”, “why can’t I”, “should I?”, “how could they”… I am sure you have had similar lists. These thoughts do not serve us. A better way is to be in the moment, aware of the only thing we can be sure of, the present moment. I have read and studied many authors and teachers of mindfulness, Christian and Zen, but a review of mindfulness impacted me in a new way this month.

I shared in a Facebook post this month, that some of you may have seen, that I just began the third year of a Wisdom/Mystics program. The first year was Women Mystics and last year, Celtic Wisdom and Mystics. This year we are studying Modern Mystics. On the first Saturday of February we were blessed with the teaching of Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master and Buddhist teacher, by his student Kaira Jewel Lingo. Kaira Jewel is a teacher in her own right, given authorization to teach by Thich Nhat Hanh, after spending 15 years at Plum Village living and studying with him. Kaira Jewel is an author and teaches many programs, which you can find online or on apps, like Insight Timer.

A simple practice, one of many Kaira Jewel shared with us during our class, is to set the intention (i.e. in the language of my blog last month, name the grace) to be present for yourself. During our slow breath work as part of meditation, or you could do as part of Christian Centering Prayer, is to inhale “I have arrived” and exhale “I am home”. Kaira Jewel shared that we have to first come home to ourselves, to get to the root of our own suffering and to find unity and inter-being with all other persons and species. If “suffering” seems foreign to you, simply think of it as areas we have opportunities to be more aware of, to grow and let go of.

There have been a multitude of ways that the simple practice of returning to the breath, to the home of my body and spirit, has helped me this month. Has it been perfect? No! But I am learning. I tried to be more present listening to others. Instead of thinking of something outside the moment like a “to do” list, I tried to be attentive to what a person was saying to me. I have tried to be present to my physical pain, instead of reacting in anger or fear of it. Physical therapy seemed to go better this week! I have tried to think about why I am eating what I am eating, especially when it is an attempt to stuff down some other feeling or issue I would prefer to avoid. In a moment when I found myself reacting to someone, I came home to my anger and judgement and wondered why I was reacting to their words, then tried to have compassion and understanding for the person speaking, why they might be saying what they were saying.

Again, was it perfect? No, but perfection isn’t the goal, freedom is. Freedom from worry, anxiety, anger, judgment, etc is. All of those feelings do not change the situation so why do I view them as helpful? It was as if I learned that I had left my home unattended for years, just kept the heat on but the dust accumulated.

The leper in today’s Gospel for the Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time desired to be made clean, had the faith that Jesus could do it by his act of will. At that time the man’s leprosy was viewed as an outcome of his sin. So Jesus’ act of healing brought him back into his community, it freed him. Doesn’t our sin, judgment and separation from others do the same for us? We are saying, what I want is more important than what God wants for me or how I might be here for others. Our own need and desire trumps everyone else, including God. Desiring to be made whole, desiring freedom from sin and the accumulation of dust, moves us back into community, with God and others.

Author and dear friend, Judith Valente’s Sunday blog (found on Medium and on Facebook), reflecting on Lent and looking at it in a new way, asks us to examine similar questions, “can I take a hard look at the habits I’ve acquired over the past year that don’t serve me or others well? Can I make a conscious effort to let go of them, to make a fresh start?” Again, freedom, freedom to move beyond the habits of my past with a desire to live with more awareness of and for love for self and others. These questions will be part of my daily examen during Lent!

In her weekly email, and in preparation for our Lenten Retreat, “A Different Kind of Fast”, author Christine Valters Painter discusses the Three Renunciations of theologian of the early Christian Church, John Cassian. Christine says the third renunciation was one she found most powerful, and I would agree, as I read her description of them. The third calls us to “renounce even our images of God so that we can meet God in the fullness of that divine reality beyond the boxes and limitations we create.”

This renunciation challenges me to be free to sit with, be gazed upon by the God who desires to be with me. I can be home with God exactly as I am, knowing that I am loved. I can look at the areas that I hope to grow in greater love and compassion for others. I can desire a purging of old ways with the desire to make more room for God and love of others.

So this Lent, where do you desire greater freedom? What grace do you seek for these 40 days of “retreat”, a time to free yourself of habits that prevent you from listening to and responding to God’s call in your life? May it be a time of growth and greater freedom to love and serve with our lives.

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

Photo: One of the unfinished marble pieces, never freed from the stone, of Michelangelo in Florence.

The grace I seek

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

A way of praying that has become ingrained in me the past couple of years, learning and growing in Ignatian spirituality, has been to begin prayer time reflecting on and naming a grace I seek for that time of prayer, retreat or gathering. It’s very different than praying prayers of petition or praying for intentions, which is also an important part of raising those people and concerns that we have to God. I’ll share a couple of articles, at the end of this post, that will introduce you to naming a grace, if that is not a practice you are aware of. The articles are by two authors that I regard highly, Becky Eldredge and Vinita Hampton Wright. Asking for a grace is “not for God, but for us”, Vinita writes. It is something we are seeking or wish to grow more deeply aware of in our lives. It might be peace, clarity, freedom from anger in a situation, or greater joy.

Yesterday afternoon I read the daily reflection in Give Us This Day by Sr. Colleen Gibson, a Sister of Saint Joseph of Philadelphia. She has a podcast, Beyond The Habit, which I haven’t listened to yet but looks very interesting and frankly, like a lot of fun too! Sr. Colleen speaks of yesterday’s daily Gospel and Solomon’s request for wisdom and an understanding heart. She reminds us that having a discerning heart, to seek wisdom in our daily lives, is a “gift and a muscle”. We have to exercise and use it. She also comments that asking for a grace is a “first of many steps on the spiritual journey.” The gifts or grace that we ask for may not come to us the way that we expect but they are graces we then have to use.

To slow down and reflect on that which we are seeking in prayer helps us, I have found, center and ground ourselves before the prayer. It makes the prayer more intentional, our eyes and hearts become open to see and hear what God might want to say to us or invite us to consider.

Lent begins this month on February 14th. Those of us that grew up Catholic typically prepare for Lent thinking about what we want to “give up”. Yes, this is still important. Giving up a favorite food or behavior helps us learn about sacrifice, perhaps offering that sacrifice for the needs of others. It also helps us clear our thoughts and minds of things that are habitual or distract us from God’s presence. It isn’t about a diet or another chance to revive a forgotten New Year’s resolution but rather make space for God.

This Lent I invite you to spend some time thinking about a grace that you seek this Lent. This will then open the way to consider what you would like to “fast” from this Lent. You might also consider a program or book that will help you on this journey toward the grace you are seeking. I once read that The Missionaries of Charity, the order founded by St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, read the book Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen during the 40 days of Lent. It’s a large book, so not one that you could fall behind on daily reading but rather develop the daily habit of reflecting on the life of Jesus. Many other publishers, such as Loyola Press, Ascension Press or Word on Fire Catholic Ministries (there are many others!) have books or daily reflection programs if that is something you would find helpful. (See below for information regarding the daily Individual Path of Prayer for Lent that we offer from Ignatian Ministries.)

I will be participating in a second offering of A Different Kind of Fast by Abbey of the Arts. We walked through the sections of Christine Valters Painter’s book two years ago and now that the book has been edited and published we will be walking through it again this Lent. As Christine wrote in her weekly newsletter today, “Ultimately, the practice of fasting is about making more space within us to encounter our deepest, most radiant selves. How do we listen to the whispers of the Holy One when we constantly distract ourselves with social media and doomscrolling. How do we discover the radical abundance available to us, not of food or entertainment, but of nourishing gifts like joy, peace, love, and gratitude? How do we make room for the grief inside us which is a witness to how much we have loved if we are fighting to be strong and keep control in an unpredictable world?”

You have some time but begin to think about Lent before we arrive there on Ash Wednesday. This time will allow you to really reflect on the grace you seek. What would you like Lent to look like this year? What do you hope for your spiritual life as you move through the forty days of Lent? What practice might you add that will enrich your daily practice of prayer and reflection? What Lenten sacrifice or fast would clear the way in your heart and mind for a closer relationship to Jesus?

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

The articles I mentioned above:

Gathering the Graces by Becky Eldredge, August 2020

Asking for the Grace to Want the Grace by Vinita Hampton Wright, June 2019

Jesus: Companion in our Suffering, An Ignatian Prayer Path for Lent, Ignatian Ministries, 2024

Image from my photos, the prayer and adoration chapel at St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island.

Seeds that will sprout

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Uncategorized2 Comments

I’ve been thinking about the spiritual practice a lot this week. When I think of my own practice, I notice the places that need some change and some nurturing. It’s normal to adjust and change as individuals as our spiritual lives deepen and grow. It’s healthy to notice where we need to tend to them a bit more.

The spiritual practice and what it leads to, a richer inner life and ever growing closeness to God, isn’t just a certain set of actions or habits. It is how it changes and transforms us interiorly. I think it is easy to focus on the external behaviors like going to church, saying a rosary or other prayers given to us by others, to sit in prayerful meditation, kneel in reverence or take a walk in nature. But if a quiet and receptive mind and heart aren’t there, then I would guess that the interior life is stagnant or perhaps even chaotic. We might not think that it is “getting us anywhere”.

Perhaps we can imagine the spiritual practice like planting seeds. We get the seeds or tiny plant, find the right environment for it to grow with the proper sunlight and we water it. We care for it. But the growth of the plant is outside of our control, we have to wait, continue to care for it and protect it. Ultimately it is a gift. Or even better, a grace that comes from the result of all the actions we have taken.

When we bake, we gather all of our ingredients, we mix them in the appropriate proportions and place those ingredients in the proper environment, an oven at the right temperature, and hope the result is the cake, muffins or cookies we desire. For those of us that bake, we know that sometimes outside factors can influence the end result, too much humidity, old flour, etc. But, the more we use that recipe, and make sure the ingredients are the best we have to use, the more often we are successful.

It isn’t just the ingredients of the cake, or the seeds and soil, that produce the desired outcome. Oh sure, sometimes you can toss a seed and get lucky. But gardening and baking both take practice, a repetition of the right process, over and over again, of doing the work and patient waiting.

The more I use Ignatian Contemplation, or imaginative prayer, the more I see the positive impact it has on my spiritual practice. Ignatian Contemplation, very simply, is placing ourselves in the scripture or story, listening and watching what is unfolding and then imagining our role in the story, what the scripture is saying to us personally. But just like baking and planting, it takes a bit of practice, as well as an open and receptive heart, to allow the scripture to speak to us personally. We listen to what Jesus might be saying to us, in our life, right now, in response to the needs, or graces, we have presented in prayer. Sometimes it is watching and learning from what we are seeing.

This week I imagined myself in the boat with Jesus and the apostles (Mark 4: 35-41) as the storm came upon the boat suddenly, I heard Jesus say “Quiet, Be Still!” to the storm, which caused the wind to cease and the waves to calm down. I knew instantly that my practice was lacking some calm, Jesus was inviting me to quiet my mind more, less talking, more being, in silence, present to the calming presence of Jesus.

If your inner life is feeling a dull or stagnant, maybe a bit unsettled, or in need of a little shift, a simple answer is to spend more time in prayer and reflection. This week sit with the scripture from Mark’s gospel of the blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10: 46-52). Jesus responds to his calls for help, those around Bartimaeus say “Take courage, get up, he is calling you.” He goes to Jesus and Jesus says to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus replies, “Master, I want to see.”

As you quiet yourself and hear Jesus say, “What do you want me to do for you?”, listen to the words that well up within you regarding your spiritual practice and relationship to Jesus. What do you say to Jesus? What does Jesus say in reply? That just might be the beginning of your next steps, the guidance you are seeking to a more fulfilling spiritual life, which will result in an inner peace that comes from growing closer to God.

Two thoughts that might help come from a great teacher of the interior life, St. Frances de Sales:

One rarely does well what one rarely does.

There is no soil so barren wherein diligent tenderness cannot produce fruit.

I wish you great peace and inner calm this week.

Deena

Image from my PicMonkey account

Delighting in the simple things

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

We’re beginning the Third Week in Ordinary Time this week. Merriam-Webster defines ordinary as a common quality, rank or ability; of a kind to be expected in the normal order of events. So, ordinary is not anything that we get excited about. Ordinary implies nothing monumental or note-worthy. But I began to view “ordinary” differently this weekend. I reflected that we can miss out on the wonder of the ordinary moments and I contemplated delighting in the simple things of life, simple moments that transform a day.

We’re studying the topic of Peace and Justice this year as our study for the Oblate program of St. Mary Monastery. We are reading several articles and the book, The Beatitudes of Peace by John Dear.

This week was a hectic week at Ignatian Ministries. I’m not sure it was entirely due to the Martin Luther King holiday on Monday, but rather the amount of work we wanted to accomplish in the week, regardless of the number of days. There were the normal daily tasks of email communication and preparations for a new class that Becky Eldredge, our founder, begins on Wednesday. Becky had preparations for other meetings and a retreat this weekend. I prepared the weekly blog post that emails tomorrow morning. Our team worked to provide data for a quarterly review, that I prepared the PowerPoint for and presented on Friday, as well as launching our Lent Path of Prayer Series for individuals and small group leaders by end of day on Friday. The quarterly review and Lent series were essentially my tasks as part of my role as Director of Programming, a part-time position, while still coordinating some of Operations reporting, so I was feeling the weight of getting those tasks accomplished by the end of the week. On Thursday and Friday, I found myself sitting at my desk, shoulders hunched, not giving myself the periodic breaks that a body needs, stretching or exercising, or drinking the water I committed to drink as part of the 14 Day Reset program I am doing. I know better, I told myself, but choose to ignore the thought.

So by 7 p.m. on Friday I was ready to settle in and read my assignment for Saturday’s Oblate Meeting. The author, in the chapter, Blessed are the meek, wrote of simple ways that we can become more nonviolent individuals, and in doing so, protect the earth and her creatures. First, we need to examine and adopt more gentle, kind and steadfast nonviolent behavior as part of our daily practice, to become more conscious in our daily living. He also, as a second point, invited us to spend more time in daily meditation with God so that we can become aware of the times our thoughts are not so gentle, peaceful or meek. We can “disarm” our hearts and begin to live more at peace with ourselves and each other. There were certainly moments during the week I could have benefited from that quiet meditation!

Then his third point was the one that brought me to the greatest self-awareness and desire to resume a more quiet and gentle perspective to my daily routine. John Dear stated that “in this ever-deepening spirit of gentleness and nonviolence, we delight in the simple things of life – the morning sunrise, the gentle breeze, the ocean waves, the night stars, the moon, the meow of a cat, the beauty of a caterpillar, the flight of a hummingbird, the howl of the coyote, the rain, the snow, and everyone we meet – the whole web of life.” Inside I cried “Yes! Yes! Yes!” I paused as I read and thought of the brief moment I pause each morning to look at the brightening pink and purple sky of winter, the birds that perch on the back fence waiting for the seed I have been giving them in the backyard instead of trudging through the deep snow on the side of the house to the bird feeders, the stretch of Butters and Bela, my cats, when I peek in at them and gently disturb their napping. Lately, the beauty of the falling snow. Those noticings take but a brief pause in the day. I certainly can afford a brief pause every hour of the day and wonder how they might, as John suggests, disarm the less peaceful thoughts that swirl around when I become restless and agitated over activities I allow to take priority over a calm spirit.

Just as I was writing this, Butters waited patiently by the sliding door for me to open it so that he could stick his nose outside or even take a few brave steps onto the patio. He doesn’t last long with the below zero temps we have had but he loves to venture out for a few minutes. I leave the door open so he can come right back in and then enjoy the air from the warmth of the little rug in the sunshine, when it is shining. As I let him out, preparing him for the chilly air, I paused to enjoy the long icicles hanging from the building next door and the patches of bright blue sky behind the cloud-covered sky. Yes, I thought, do more of this!

As you go through this new week, I invite you to pause a second longer when something of beauty grabs your attention, savor it, breathe it in. Rest a moment there. Be more attentive to the wonders of nature, even if it’s only in your backyard. Become aware of those creatures that play a “necessary role in God’s great design” and as we slow down, we will become more peaceful individuals, and in doing so, we will also be individuals more aware of our planet and our role protecting it.

Peace, Deena

Picture: from my photo album of an amaryllis that was blooming in December.

Alert and listening

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

I have to admit there have been times that I was listening to someone and not hearing what they said. Have you ever listened to a speech, a lecture, a homily, or even a conversation with a friend, and realized you missed what was being communicated? We may be tired, distracted or preoccupied but we can’t really hear what the other person is saying unless we are awake, attentive and active in our listening. I would add that we have to be open to what is being said as well. If I have already decided that there is nothing to be gained from the person speaking, I certainly won’t hear anything.

Yesterday I attended the first session, for me and for the year, of a monthly creative expression workshop offered by visual artist, Lisa Sonora. I have been feeling that I haven’t been expressing my creativity enough lately, so I was instantly attracted to an email Lisa sent earlier this month. Yes, I write this blog and create written content for work, but visual art expression with photos, stamps, ink, paint and my journals has been on a sabbatical for months. I love the tag line on Lisa’s site for her workshops – “Make Art. Feel Better.” I know when I am creating with color and different medium, something comes alive in me. Of course I have to put judgement and comparison aside, that isn’t the point of creative expression. It is letting that inner voice that desires to speak do so. I saw a post this week that I shared to my crafting page on Facebook and loved the sentiment by a crafts and yarn supplier, Mary Maxim, “Crafting may not solve all my problems, but it solves enough of them.” I could not agree more!

In the workshop session we didn’t actually create anything, we listened and then journaled. Lisa asked us questions and we began the “dreaming and scheming” of those voices and desires we keep quiet. I can’t say I was shocked or surprised by my answers to the questions Lisa asked. But I definitely heard from the creative voice within that is longing to express herself. So, I am going to make a point this year to listen to that voice and provide the nurturing and support to let that voice have a place in my life.

The first reading for the Second Sunday of Ordinary Time is one of my favorites, from the first Book of Samuel (1 Samuel 3:3b-10,19). The young Samuel is sleeping in the temple and hears a voice call him. He assumes it is his mentor and teacher, Eli and goes to him and asks what he needs. This happens a couple of times before Eli realizes that Samuel is not attentive to the voice of the Lord and guides him to respond to the Lord the next time he hears the voice. Eli tells Samuel to respond “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” There are a couple of key points in the scripture that relate to what I am trying to say in this blog this week. Samuel is not alert or aware of the Voice speaking to him. His teacher, Eli, helps him understand. Then Samuel has to respond to the call he is hearing.

We need to be awake and alert to hear those inner desires of our heart. St. Ignatius of Loyola would say that those desires help us to hear the call to live the unique purpose for which we were created. Often times we, like Samuel, need a guide, a spiritual director, a mentor or teacher to help us discern the call. Lastly we need to respond, take a step in the direction of that purpose. If we remain sleeping and unaware, then we will continue to run to the wrong places and potentially miss an opportunity to respond and live out that call.

Pick up a journal and some colorful markers and draw this weekend. If you don’t feel you can draw freehand just yet, or wouldn’t know where to start, pick up coloring book and crayons. If you don’t have a coloring book, there are plenty of free coloring pages online such as mondaymandala.com to download, print and color. While coloring, ask yourself, “What part of my life, work or relationships feels stagnant or asleep? What would I be willing to invite in to change that?” Then listen, really listen to the inner part of you that knows the answer and is longing to tell you. Listen with the ear of your heart (Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict). Take some notes, journal, write it down. You don’t even have to do anything with that information yet. Just listen and watch to see what shows up in your life. I’ll check back again during the year on this. Feel free to send me a message if you want to share some of thoughts before then.

Create joy, Deena

Images: Blog cover; a page in one of my art journals from 2020, created as part of a class but then also written about in my photo journal soon below.

Quietly contemplating the new year

On By dpavinatoIn Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This week has been a perfect week to reflect on the past year of 2023 and look ahead to 2024. I had the week off from my part-time ministry position. The bookends of Christmas and New Year’s Day (tomorrow) have provided an opportunity to rest and relax, visit with family and friends, clean and organize (not as much as I hoped, but a feeble attempt), take some classes and start getting ready for some new programs in 2024. The clouds and softly falling snow this afternoon provide the perfect backdrop for a day of reflection, my favorite way to spend New Year’s Eve.

I pause today thinking about friends or people I am aware of that have lost loved ones in 2023. This morning I woke at 4 and happened upon the recording of the funeral Mass yesterday for the newborn son of one of our Diocesan Directors. My heart broke as I watched him carry the casket of his son down the Cathedral aisle. I have sent condolences to friends and acquaintances that lost parents, children, or good friends. There have been many impacted by changes in jobs or what a job has required. We have watched the horrors of political wars on innocent children and civilians. We cry for our environment and those impacted by flooding and fires. We begin a year hopeful and yet, there are times that we cannot control the unforeseen circumstances of life. It can be paralyzing. Should we just throw our hands up in the air, should we even plan or focus on desires for the new year?

Yes, we should, and not only should, but we must! I reread my post from last year regarding planning for the new year of 2023, the planners I ordered and the desire to focus on Being more than Doing. It can seem insignificant in a world with so much tragedy but we must hold on to the hopes and dreams of the daily life. Today on the Feast of the Holy Family, I contemplated the journeys they took to avoid the wrath of a political king who thought his power would be usurped by an infant king. Even without social media, I am sure they heard of the horror of innocent male children killed by the fearful Herod. They followed their hearts and the guidance of God, they returned to their home town of Nazareth and went on with life.

One of my undertakings for 2024 is a 90-day daily program of contemplative prayer. I began early because I want to finish by Holy Week, the last week of March. This week, one of the reflections was scripture by the prophet Jeremiah, chapter 29, verses 11-14. I was feeling sad, alone, worried and then listened to the words of the prophet: “For I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope. When you look for me, you will find me…I will let you find me, says the Lord, I will change your lot…and bring you back to the place from which I have exiled you.” The prophet was speaking to the those exiled in Babylon, but I believe that he speaks to me, to us, today too.

So I have asked myself, and invite you to consider, where have I felt exiled and without hope?

Our plans and our goals for the new year are a way to claim those places, listen to the desires of our heart, and begin to find hope in a future that can be different. I believe with all my heart that God desires us to be happy, to find joy in life. Will the intentions I write in my journals or my 14-day health reset program, that begins in mid January, change the world or solve climate change? Of course not, but the healthier and happier I am, the easier it is to be available for others.

When we are focusing on what we desire in life, most importantly for me, to grow spiritually and closer in my relationship to God, and then find ways to live more authentically, honoring the wisdom of my years and experience, I will naturally want to share that joy with others. When I read the verses from Jeremiah, I felt God asking me to trust, to believe that there is more to unfold in the plan for my life, desires that I may have set aside that I can revisit. Those hopes and dreams are placed in our hearts for a reason. It is not only ok to listen to and acknowledge them, it may be part of our response to God given the talents that we have been gifted with.

All week I have tried to get clarity and journal my plans and intentions for 2024. As I do my Examen of this past year, I am grateful for the ways that God has showed up for me, providing the graces of insight, encouragement and support. I don’t know what surprises 2024 has in store for us, but I hope that I live each day to my fullest potential and to encourage others to do the same. Spend a few minutes today or tomorrow looking back and acknowledging moments that you are grateful for. Name and give thanks for them. Then look ahead and identify the places that hold opportunities for growth. What are the things that you want to learn and accomplish? Those desires are there for a reason. Don’t be afraid to name them and hear God say “I know well the plans I have for you…a future of hope.”

Wishing you a happy and healthy 2024! Deena

Image: This picture is from my trip to Italy of a restored clock in the Senate Chamber in the Doge Palace in Venice. The zodiac signs represent the Republic. The clock hand rests on the scales. The sign of Pisces represents the shape of the city of Venice.

Anniversary of thankfulness

On By dpavinatoIn Life in the Spirit, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

We were looking forward to something special, this Thanksgiving, as a family. Life had other plans and as a result we experienced a roller coaster of emotions dealing with the change in plans. It is easy to get disappointed after realizing something we desired so much can’t take place. This morning I found myself thinking of many wonderful Thanksgivings in the past. It helped me to take a fresh look at this Thanksgiving and look forward, God willing, to the many Thanksgivings in our future.

My Mom and Dad were married on Thanksgiving Day. It was November 24th, which this year is Friday, but my Dad always recalled their anniversary and celebrated on Thanksgiving Day. Well, I actually think it gave him a reason to celebrate twice, if the 24th didn’t fall on Thanksgiving Day!

My uncle Tony and aunt Marilyn were married on November 24th as well, but not on Thanksgiving Day. Gene and Stacie, my brother and sister-in-law, were married on November 28th and my niece, Maureen, and her husband, Ben, were married on November 30th. My nephew, Eugene, and his wife, Jennifer, celebrate their anniversary in December so still within the special bookends of Thanksgiving and Christmas, seasons of thanksgiving, joy and love. The holidays have always been a time to come together to celebrate as a family but then also a time to give thanks for the gift of family that continues to love and grow as a result of the commitment that is made in marriage.

So whether Thanksgiving will be a raucous family celebration or a quiet day at home, take some time to appreciate special memories and family members of Thanksgivings past. Say a prayer of blessing over those you are gathered with and especially over those you cannot gather with. Be at peace with the day, no matter how it turns out.

Wishing you abundant love and peace this Thanksgiving! Deena

When it is revealed

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized2 Comments

On three different occasions this week I was involved in a conversation with someone who said “I could never…” or basically, “I don’t see myself having the talent to”…. I have to admit that in one of those conversations, I was the one saying it.

I picked up my copy of The Word Among Us this morning and saw the November title and theme of “Already and Not Yet.” The editor and president quoted the letter of St. John saying “We are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2). I understand that Jeff Smith is talking about the heavenly kingdom, the promises of Baptism and our citizenship in heaven, but it made me pause a moment and think about those conversations this week.

In meetings this week, for Ignatian Ministries, and our continued discernment about the ways we accompany others in their lives of faith, we reflected on where we were at this time last year and how things have been unfolding in a very exciting way. There are days that we are surprised and in awe. There are days we question what lies ahead. The discernment process we engaged in, and our openness to the promptings of the Spirit, allowed us to move forward in faith and trust in what God was revealing to us. I believe we can do that as individuals as well. But we have to be willing to state the grace we are seeking, listen in prayer for the voice of God to respond to us, or fill us with a sense of joy and consolation so that we know we are on the right track, then begin to take action as the opportunities unfold before us.

I think back to last year, as I prepared to begin this blog in Advent, for the beginning of the liturgical year in the Church. I would never have imagined being at the point of publishing 50 posts! I am quite confident I said something to the effect – “what could I possibly have to write about?” Yet each week, an idea or nudging from the Spirit has guided me to a topic to reflect on.

Where might you be limiting yourself by saying words like “I could never…” “I don’t have the talent to…” or “I would love to but…”?

The first step might be as simple as exploring what it might be that you would love to do. I find journaling a helpful way to explore those thoughts and ideas. But I have to make myself actually sit down, consistently, so that the ideas get to the paper! One of the journals I use is a 5 year memory book. I have noticed lately it is filled with statements, for the previous year, regarding the weather that day, appointments I had or friends I visited with. Those are great memories to look back on, but I am going to challenge myself to make more soul statements – what’s on my mind, what would I like more of in my life, what are the important decisions I am faced with? Then as I reflect back next year I will be able to look back at the things that were “already and not yet” moments to see if they have become more tangible in my life experiences.

Join me, in whatever way feels comfortable for you, and let’s see how the year unfolds!

Prayerful and abundant blessings, Deena

Image: A picture from my Italy trip of a mosaic at the Vatican of Jesus calling Peter and Andrew to follow Him.

Time slips away

On By dpavinatoIn Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, UncategorizedLeave a comment

This week the gospel is Matthew’s writing of the landowner and the workers (Mt 20:1-16a). You have probably heard, like I have this weekend or in years past, about God’s mercy freely given and open to all or on envy and how it holds us back from viewing heaven as we should. Today I find myself thinking about a different aspect of the gospel. What were the workers doing until they showed up at the location to be hired? If they were there earlier in the day, surely they would have been hired. Were they at other locations trying to find work? Or were they busy with other things and delaying getting there? Were they putting off the work to be done?

I can put off things for a later date or time like nobody’s business! I get things done on time if there is a deadline or it’s a goal for the day, so I don’t mean procrastination. I mean putting off things I want or need to do because maybe later will be a ‘better time’. I’ll be in a better space to pray or meditate later, only to get too busy and spend less time even though I would feel greater peace. I need more time to sit and journal (draw or write) all the thoughts in my head and then later it’s too late, I’m not in the mood anymore, something else demands my attention. I want to move more or change my diet to healthier options but work, errands and household tasks haven taken the time and expendable energy I have. Now planning for my trip to Italy, I find myself worrying about everything – what to take, the flight, the cats while I am gone…. I try to remind myself it will all fall in place. Worrying doesn’t change the amount of time left or get the things I want to get done accomplished any faster.

I was having a hard time focusing on writing this today. Time has been cut short, time in this life for her family and friends, for a colleague and friend. She died on Friday due to an illness and I have been shocked and heartbroken. I learned so much working for Terri, she was top notch! Terri and I did a virtual painting session one day while she was still in the Chicago area. Each working on our own painting, we just chatted about life and our love for attempting to express our creativity. We had said to each other that we should do it again. Last year I mentioned Terri in a post, regarding her new marriage and how happy she looked in each photo. She was simply radiant with joy! I also shared a quote by Paulo Coelho, “One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.” (Is 40 days long enough...)

In that post I talked about embracing the present moment more. I find myself thinking about that again. I need the reminder, maybe you do too. How many times do we say there will be time, later, to meet with friends, visit with family or spend time growing closer to God? We don’t know the day or the hour, let’s embrace the life and connections that we have. Let’s spend time doing the things that make us better people, in relation to God and to each other.

Create joy! Deena

Image from my PicMonkey account