Category: spirituality

Landscapes of our lives

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey1 Comment

Besides living in upstate New York for a few years in the 60’s, I have lived in the Midwest all of my life. Even when I left Illinois to work for Electronic Data Systems on the General Motors account in Michigan, the move was only to a small suburb of Detroit. The seasons were almost exactly the same as Illinois.

The changing seasons have always been part of my life. As much as I am ready for Fall now, because of the excessive heat and humidity of this summer, I wouldn’t trade the seasons for anything. Each change of season becomes a threshold place, marking the “next thing” whether it was returning to school, beginning college, preparing for holidays or making goals for a new year.

For me the changing seasons – Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter remind me of the birth, growth, decline and rest or death in life, relationships, stages of becoming who we are over and over again, like a huge spiral continuing ever deeper.

Saturday morning as I drove past tall fields of corn on the way to the veterinary clinic for medicine and food for the cats, I enjoyed seeing the height of the corn stalks and reflected on how much they have grown since the little sprouts that are my favorite sign of Spring and seasons of planting. The bright blue expansive sky invited me to breathe deep after a busy week and relish the day.

While I was driving I was listening to the latest podcast, Fire and Light, with Tessa Bielecki and David Denny, two “urban hermits” in Tucson, Arizona. This month’s episode is “The Seed and the Space that Changed You.” Tessa and David describe their separate journeys to Sedona, their instant love of the red rock and open skies of the desert, and their eventual work together at the Spiritual Life Institute. Since then they have co-created Sand and Sky, the Desert Foundation exploring the wisdom of the desert in various spiritual traditions. I am more familiar with Tessa from her teaching and writing of St. Teresa of Avila but I love each new blog post and podcast and the conversations between Tessa and David. They have become two spiritual teachers of desert wisdom for me.

As they talked they posed questions about the landscapes that have been a part of our lives. They asked us to consider how the landscape formed us, what impact it had on us and how it might have influenced our relationship with the earth and with God. They also asked us to consider books or teachers that were pivotal in shaping who we are today.

As I listened I thought also of significant places on my journey and how they have formed me – living in Saugerties/Woodstock New York in the late 60’s, the Campus Ministry office at the private Catholic college I attended and the friends made while in college, the Newman Center during graduate school, my first job at a college as a counselor, the natural food shops and bookstores in Royal Oak, Mi., then moving back to Illinois and opening my own business and all my encounters with those who shopped there. Landscapes can be places and people, as much as the topography.

I invite you to spend some time thinking about the landscapes that have formed you, the people that inspired you and the places that have been important in becoming the person you are today.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Sunsets in the Midwest are amazing! This photo was taken outside my home.

Tending the soil

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Eucharistic Revival, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

By March or April I am ready for the spring flowers and sprouts of plants that begin to emerge in my flower beds. The early crocus, grape hyacinth, and jonquils bring bright color as the drab palette of winter begins to disappear for another year. I start checking out plants at the garden centers, dusting off the ceramic pots and deciding where I will use them and colors of plants that I will pair together. I buy good organic potting mix to help support the growth of the plants I will purchase. I start out so enthusiastic! I promise the plants I will do a better job of feeding them throughout the season.

Then June, July and August arrive. Frankly I do my best just to keep my plants watered daily. There just isn’t enough time for the care I want to provide. I let life get in the way of caring for my plants, which is also a way I renew my spirit.

This year I lost a couple of flowers in pots, in the back of the house, where they receive full sun every day. They were full sun plants but I guess the heat was too much for them. Yesterday I picked up replacement annuals for those pots and a new perennial for a spot I decided to pull out a plant that isn’t thriving. For some reason I found myself thinking about the daily gospel readings of this week, from the Gospel of Matthew, in which Jesus teaches with the parables of seed that falls on good, rich soil and the seed that is withered by the sun or doesn’t grow because of shallow or rocky soil.

Last week I mentioned the National Eucharistic Congress in my blog. My friend Kelly and I were supposed to attend as parish representatives. We were registered, had hotel reservations and were looking forward to a renewal, a revival in devotion to the Blessed Sacrament not only in our personal spiritual lives but for our parish. Then life happened. We each had different issues that arose so we had to be honest about our ability to attend the Congress. We knew we had to cancel. We knew it was the right decision but as it grew closer, we were also disheartened by our decision and not being with others in Indianapolis for this momentous event, the first Eucharistic Congress in 83 years.

I planned to watch the Revival sessions each evening, and as many other talks as I could, grateful for the gift of live-streaming and those covering the Congress making it accessible to those of us at home. But I was sad about not being there in person. Then the grace of the Holy Spirit surprised me with the extent of the impact of participating in the event remotely. Because of the tears and raw emotions I was feeling, I was probably better off watching from home. I could sing, cry, laugh and pray with only the cats wondering what the heck was going on. I felt a renewed spirit. I was challenged and convicted in areas that I need to take a deep look at. I continue to ponder the way I am using my gifts and how I might be called to use them differently or in new ways.

In closing his talk, Fr. Mike Schmitz, asked us to look at the areas of our lives where we put out the flame of love of God, the “fire extinguishers” or areas we let the world get in the way of a desire to love God more intimately. He also reminded us that we can’t take all the lessons and desires from Congress and jam them back into daily life without making some changes. I assessed that in my life. I committed to some daily changes and expanded prayer time in order to listen to God more closely.

Then almost a week later, stress and inner turmoil, set in just like the heat of summer, scorching my desires, just like it scorched the plants on my back patio. I chastised myself for only being able to keep my new promises for more than 4 days. Thursday and Friday were rough as I berated myself for not being dedicated enough. Then, reflecting on the scripture from this week, I found myself thinking that we have to nurture and tend the soil of our spiritual lives daily so that the birds don’t come and pluck the seeds of change away. The seeds in good, rich soil are not completely protected from the heat and the birds but they have a better chance of surviving. So I asked myself what I needed to do to make sure the seeds of my desire to spend more time in quiet contemplation were planted in deep and fertile soil.

The world will try to grab our attention and tell us that our desires are not possible or perhaps even worth working at. It will tell us that superficial pleasures are more valuable than inner peace and tranquility. It will tell us that our deepest desires are not possible. I think I would rather fertilize the soil and keeping working at it, even when it’s hard! If you find yourself in a similar place, don’t give up! I’m here for you, be assured of my prayers for each of you.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: flowers growing in a wooded area in Oregon, Illinois

A discerning spirit

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, discernment, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

On Friday I was chatting with Becky, the founder of Ignatian Ministries, the non-profit Ignatian virtual ministry that I work for. I shared with her a decision that I am holding and how I have been wavering as I decide the right thing to do. She reminded me to use the four steps of discernment, as we do with everything we do in our ministry. Ignatian discernment is not decision making from a strictly rational or practical perspective. It is noticing the movements of our heart and soul. All of who we are, our thoughts, feelings and emotions, are part of what we notice and bring to awareness as we use those insights to decide where God is leading us. Sometimes it is quick but often it will take time to really listen and notice how we feel as we consider the options we have in front of us.

As I continue to consider Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? in my personal life and in this blog for the past four weeks, discernment must play an important part in answering those questions. I thought about that as I read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper this morning. She asked poignant questions after reading the final words of someone who had died, preparing those words before her passing, and after a trip to Asia to see one of her children working in Thailand. Maria asked: “What does it take to love the life we’ve been given? What does it take to be joyful, to feel we have enough, or even to feel like we won the lottery?” My personal answers to those questions have been becoming more clear lately but I acknowledge it is a process and I know that there is something that I need to do, in the near future, that will continue to bring clarity to my answers. What I do know, at this point, is that those answers lie in knowing our purpose in life.

I also believe that finding the answers, at least long term and deeply fulfilling answers, come from where we turn for them. Oh sure, people can find answers in living day to day and acquiring all the relationships and things in the world that they want but all you have to do is look at the current state of things in our world to know those don’t bring deep satisfaction.

Doing some research for a workshop I am helping to teach tomorrow night, John Hopkins reported, in their Mental Health Statistics (2024), that 18% of people ages 18-54 will have an anxiety disorder, 9.5% of American Adults ages 18 or over will suffer an illness labeled as depression (not just having a bad day, another study indicated that it means feeling depressed each day for two weeks or more) and 26% percent of Americans will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder every year. Those numbers are staggering to me! I think it gives us some indication that as Americans something is missing in our lives.

As I listened to two different reflections this weekend on today’s Gospel reading of Jesus calming the storm at sea (Fr. Carlson, my pastor at Holy Family Parish, and you know my other favorite, Bishop Barron!) both indicated each in their own way, Jesus is waiting for us to rouse him to help as we navigate the decisions and storms in life. If we continue to let Jesus sleep in the boat, if we attempt to go it alone, then we cannot expect the tranquility that the Christ can bring to our lives. In prayer and with prayer, I can invite Christ into the inner cave of the heart where I know and can find the answers and peace that I desire in life.

Are there storms you are navigating? Are there questions you are holding and just can’t seem to decide what to do? Do you have peace with your purpose and place in life? If not, maybe finding a new way to approach the answers, turning to prayer and discernment, just might be an option to try.

To learn more about Ignatian Spirituality, discernment and prayer follow our blog, Into the Deep, which I post weekly and also write for, as well as our upcoming retreats and courses. You can also read more about using discernment in your life by accessing the free prayer resource, The Four Steps of Discernment written by Becky Eldredge.

Photo: seaside port of Cascais, Portugal taken during my 2015 pilgrimage to Spain and Portugal

Springing to life

On By dpavinatoIn Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

It’s been a glorious week in Illinois, even with the times of rain, wind and storm. It is feeling like Spring, maybe even late Spring with the warm 70-80 temperatures during the day this week. Everything is growing and lush around my home. The lilacs are close to full bloom, I actually prefer the deep purple they are now. My hostas and perennials are gorgeous. It’s time to start thinking and planning the annuals I will put in pots by the doors and on the patio. I purchased my favorite plant of each year, Ruellia brittoniana (Purple showers or Mexican petunias) which I hope to get in pots today. The fresh air and beautiful blossoming that is springing to life around me reminded me of special days and women that I reflected on this past week.

Last Monday was the Feast of St. Catherine of Siena, Italian mystic, lay Dominican and Doctor of the Church (one of four women Doctors of the Catholic Church). The image I included for this week is a sculpture in Siena that I saw while on pilgrimage. I love it and another statue of St. Catherine we saw because they show her passion and fierce spirit. Most paintings depict Catherine as pale and sickly. It is true she practiced excessive “holy fasting” with a diet that consisted of only water and vegetables and was considered anorexic (anorexic mirabilis or holy anorexic). But Catherine had a strong and bold spirit, bringing about unity of the papacy and convincing the pope to return to Rome after almost a century in France. My favorite quote of St. Catherine, that reflects her passion for following what she believed in is “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” Catherine did this and lived her life with her eyes on God and with Heaven as the goal of her life.

Wednesday was May 1st, May Day or Beltane, one of the cross-quarter days of the Celtic Year. May Day symbolizes Spring to me, regardless of the weather. The sweet images of children bringing May Day baskets of flowers to neighbors symbolizes, to me, our coming outdoors from winter and sharing that joy with our neighbors and friends. May Day also reminds me of St. Hildegard of Bingen. Hildegard, another Doctor of the Church, was a medieval mystic, visionary, writer, herbalist, composer and artist. Hildegard was well-aware of the images of Beltane, the Green Man and used similar language when speaking of God and Earth images as a source of wisdom and power. Hildegard criticized the church, emphasizing that the criticism came from Spirit and not from her own perceptions. But after reviewing her writings and visions, Hildegard was encouraged to write her visions down by church leaders such as the Pope and St. Bernard of Clairvaux. She spoke of the goodness of the earth and God’s “greening power” or Viriditas, verdant “greenness”, and the creative power of life. Hildegard was another woman with deep faith, listening to God’s voice but, not afraid to move outside the constraints of her time on women. She was willing to speak boldly of her belief in the truth God was revealing to her. Similar to St. Catherine, Hildegard challenges us to “Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech…you must be prepared to leap.”

In both of these women I also see their desire and commitment to, as Jesus speaks in the gospel for this Sixth Sunday of Easter, “remain in my love”. Both women, in their own way, remained true to the teachings of the Church but in sharing their wisdom, helped us see the truth of our relationship with God in an expanded way.

So I wondered what “remain in my love” means and how do I live that more fully in my life. Certainly it includes time of prayer and contemplation, listening and surrendering to the Word in the way God is calling me to live it and share my life in God with others. But it isn’t a passive love, it involves going forth, bearing fruit, and loving others. Those become the signs of remaining in God’s love.

I found a new website this morning, CatholicWomenPreach.org with a reflection on the gospel message. Meghan Larsen-Reidy shared that “love stems from a commitment.” She speaks of the commandment to form relationships and challenges us to look at whether we prioritize “the Divine and people over material possessions and appearances.” This commitment, she suggests, changes our actions, how we spend our time, money, how we care for others and for the planet.

Saints Catherine and Hildegard embody that commitment to God, to love, and to changing the world around us by the way we live the gospel invitation to remain in the love of the Divine.

My wish for all of us this week as we relish these days of Spring and new life around us are expressed in St. Hildegard’s poem, Viriditas.. I found this modern translation (fccucc.org) of Hildegard’s words, that keep to the meaning of her words but in a way easier for us to relate to.

Good people, Most royal greening verdancy,

Rooted in the sun,

You shine with radiant light, in this circle of earthly existence.

You shine so finely, it surpasses understanding.

God hugs you. You are encircled by the arms of the mystery of God.

With a grateful heart, Deena

Standing at the threshold

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, sacred waiting, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Here we are, at the threshold of Holy Week, Palm Sunday. This week, the holiest of all weeks in the church year is our final week of Lent, leading us to Easter. Just as Jesus entered the gates of Jerusalem, we stand at the gate of this special week, prepared to journey with Jesus. Regardless of how our Lent was, how well we did on our Lenten promises, we can embrace this week with intention to enter into the mysteries of Christ’s suffering and death, leading to the Resurrection, the ultimate victory over death for each of us. It is a week of beautiful and moving Church liturgies, I would encourage you to attend as many services this week as you can.

Regardless of your church affiliation, most Christian denominations have Holy Week Services. If yours does not or has not been one in the past that motivates you to want to return, find a parish or church that has an active community. Last week I visited Christ the King Parish in Moline, IL (after Mass we witnessed the baptism of Wilder, the son of my niece Maureen and her husband Ben) and the priest asked the catechumens to come forward after the homily. They had more than 20! It’s a vibrant parish community as indicated by the number of people seeking to join the Church and that parish family! It was amazing and gives me hope.

This week I began reading William Barry’s Experiencing God in the Ordinary Barry invites us to consider that we don’t have to look for God in special places, we don’t have to go somewhere (“away”, to a retreat or monastery) to experience God, God is present to us in ordinary ways and experiences. In his introduction Barry wrote that it is true that some places make it easier for us to have that experience, that some places are “thin places” (as the Irish Celts would say) for us where God is able to break through to us more easily. I would suggest that Holy Week is one of those thin places or times. As we move through each of these holy days this week, we can more tangibly experience the presence of Jesus in our lives, as we walk with him during his final hours.

I have found that many are not aware of the various services of Holy Week and what they represent. If you are, I hope there is some tidbit of information for you in this explanation.

Holy Week begins with Palm Sunday and then concludes with the Triduum, the final holy days of Lent, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday, we walk through and with Jesus during the final days of his triumphant entry on Palm Sunday into Jerusalem, his final supper with his apostles, his arrest, torture and crucifixion, death and burial. Then on Easter, we rejoice in the Resurrection.

On “Spy Wednesday” we recall Judas betrayal of Jesus for the thirty pieces of silver. We might reflect on the many ways we have betrayed Jesus in the way we live and treat others.

Triduum begins on Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday) as we commemorate Jesus’ washing of the apostles feet (an act representing our need to be of service to all) and his final Passover meal, the Last Supper, with them. As Catholics, we celebrate the institution of the Holy Eucharist. The altar is then stripped bare, leaving us with the starkness of the cross for Good Friday. Many parishes create an Altar of Repose, a beautiful space created with flowers and palm trees, with the Blessed Sacrament in a tabernacle. We are encouraged to visit different Altars in the community, to spend quiet time in prayer with Jesus in the garden.

For Catholics, Good Friday Service, is not a Mass but a time that we pray with the Passion of our Lord, have a Communion Service, and then venerate the cross. It is a solemn remembrance of all that Jesus suffered and endured for each of us. Because it is not a Mass and the Eucharist has been removed, we don’t kneel before the tabernacle, the Blessed Sacrament is no longer there. Holy Water is also removed until Easter Vigil, when the water is blessed again for Baptism. In the past local parishes have also had Tenebrae Services, a moving service of the psalms of lament and a slow extinguishing of candles throughout the readings. It then usually ends with a loud noise, in almost total darkness, representing the closing of the tomb that held the body of Jesus.

Holy Saturday morning is a time of silent waiting, concluding with the most beautiful service of the church year, the Mass of Easter Vigil. We light the Easter fire, burning old palms, as the new Easter candle for the year is prepared and from that new candle, representing the Light of Christ, we each light our candles to begin the Vigil Mass. In the midst of that beautiful candlelight, a deacon, cantor or priest sings the Exsultet, the Easter Proclamation, an ancient (7th or 8th century) hymn of praise. It is the most beautiful part of Easter Vigil. You may enjoy listening to this version by Glenstal Abbey in Ireland. It is during this Mass that any new members of the Church are welcomed, receive their first sacraments and join fully in the participation of the Holy Mass.

Each Holy Week, and through the Triduum services, I recall my spiritual teacher and mentor saying to me, the first time we met, to “enter the deep, dark incense filled corners of the church” and really experience the ritual and liturgy of the Church. That wise advice helped me find meaning in each of these beautiful liturgies, regardless of any feelings that I have for the church at any particular time or in reaction to any particular teaching that a more conservative priest or bishop might pronounce. We are all human and capable of sin and error, but Holy Week reminds us that Christ died for each of us. My goal is to keep paying attention, to look for God in the places that God seeks to communicate with me, to do my best to get to know this God of tender love and compassion and then make a return of love, in response to that generous love, with my life.

I hope that this Holy Week is one of deep connection with God and that you find many blessings as you are able, and choose, to participate in the beautiful liturgies of the Church. Deena

Photo: Taken during my pilgrimage to Italy in 20923, the Sancta Sanctorum is a Roman Catholic chapel entered via the Scala Sancta (Holy Stairs) of the Lateran Palace in Rome. The photo is the chapel at the top of the stairs. It is believed that the white marble stairs were brought to Rome by St. Helena and were stairs used by Jesus as he walked toward his crucifixion.

Trusting in new life

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

We have been teased the past week or so with a taste of Spring. Then all of a sudden it was winter again. Today the sun is shining with a forecast of high 60 degrees tomorrow and possibly 70’s on Tuesday, before it drops to 30’s again Weds. January was brutal and February, well, was just February in Illinois. It can be exhausting. I watch my bulbs, and early Spring plants, like my Lenten Rose, starting to grow. I am ready for Spring! Later this week we will cross the threshold into March. I hope it will be a month filled with warm days of sunshine and continued growth.

We are also only entering the Second Week of Lent. Perhaps like me, you began Lent full of enthusiasm and a desire to be renewed in the desert and leave it a transformed person. The early days are easy when desire is strong. Yet, they can be challenging too because the new practices have not yet been firmly established.

Last week, for three nights, I attended a Lenten Rosary Mission at a neighboring parish, hosted by Fr. Gary Blake, with the retreat given by Fr. Lawrence Lew, from England and the Promoter General of the Rosary for the Dominicans. It was wonderful to hear the Fr. Lawrence’s message of Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, how we can learn from and model that love in our desire to serve him and to see our prayers, especially in the Rosary, contributing to all the prayers being prayed for each other and the world, as we trust in God’s providence. To pray in community was uplifting but it also took me out of my newly established Lenten routine of special daily prayers and participating in my online retreat. This weekend I reflected that I didn’t completely return to it after the retreat ended. As a matter of fact, I felt a bit disheartened about doing so.

Mark’s gospel of the Transfiguration reminds us that Jesus wanted to give Peter, James and John a glimpse of heaven, and hope to hold on to in the days ahead, days of his arrest, trial, torture and eventual death on the cross. He had just told them he was going to die, so this was his invitation to see beyond the cross. We know that aside from John and the women of the cross, they all ran and hid in fear, the vision of the Transfiguration a distant memory.

Last Spring, and the Springs before that, likely seem a distant memory to us too. But Spring will come, we are seeing signs of it in nature. So, let’s not be discouraged or tempted to give up our desired fasts or initiatives to enter more deeply in prayer. If one day isn’t so great, do not despair. Start again in the morning with an intention to do better. Today I plan to catch up on the days of my retreat I missed this week and do some journaling.

Let us hold on to that vision of new life that we will encounter at Easter. Lent isn’t about winning a trophy in an Ironman competition of accomplished feats. It’s about growing closer to God, creating more time and space to look closely at our relationship with God. It’s a time to look at the things we spend time on and value in life, considering them from a perspective of our spiritual lives. The Transfiguration gives us hope to hold on during difficult days, with the glimpse of what lies ahead. May we move through these remaining days of Lent with a steadfast spirit of faith!

Wishing you continued strength for your Lenten pilgrimage, Deena

Image: tulips in my flower bed last year

Anniversary of thankfulness

On By dpavinatoIn Life in the Spirit, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

We were looking forward to something special, this Thanksgiving, as a family. Life had other plans and as a result we experienced a roller coaster of emotions dealing with the change in plans. It is easy to get disappointed after realizing something we desired so much can’t take place. This morning I found myself thinking of many wonderful Thanksgivings in the past. It helped me to take a fresh look at this Thanksgiving and look forward, God willing, to the many Thanksgivings in our future.

My Mom and Dad were married on Thanksgiving Day. It was November 24th, which this year is Friday, but my Dad always recalled their anniversary and celebrated on Thanksgiving Day. Well, I actually think it gave him a reason to celebrate twice, if the 24th didn’t fall on Thanksgiving Day!

My uncle Tony and aunt Marilyn were married on November 24th as well, but not on Thanksgiving Day. Gene and Stacie, my brother and sister-in-law, were married on November 28th and my niece, Maureen, and her husband, Ben, were married on November 30th. My nephew, Eugene, and his wife, Jennifer, celebrate their anniversary in December so still within the special bookends of Thanksgiving and Christmas, seasons of thanksgiving, joy and love. The holidays have always been a time to come together to celebrate as a family but then also a time to give thanks for the gift of family that continues to love and grow as a result of the commitment that is made in marriage.

So whether Thanksgiving will be a raucous family celebration or a quiet day at home, take some time to appreciate special memories and family members of Thanksgivings past. Say a prayer of blessing over those you are gathered with and especially over those you cannot gather with. Be at peace with the day, no matter how it turns out.

Wishing you abundant love and peace this Thanksgiving! Deena

When a message is repeated – listen

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, spiritualityLeave a comment

When a message is repeated over and over – listen! What do I mean by a message? You read about a topic, it comes up in conversations, you see a social media post that resonates with how you are feeling, etc. I am sure this has happened to each of you and you know what I mean.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about rest, taking time when prompted, to listen to the voice within that begs us to just sit down a minute and be still. I started writing about the topic again last week, but then the blog went another direction because of the amazing sunset I saw and the desire to reflect on the sacredness of threshold places, in which we might experience a different level of awareness and closeness to God. To experience those moments, you have to slow down and pause.

Last Saturday’s daily gospel was the scripture from Mark 6:30-34 that I quoted in my initial blog regarding rest. “The apostles gathered together with Jesus and reported all they had done and taught. He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” The Twelve had been watching and learning from Jesus as he cast out demons, healed and restored life. He sent them out with a similar message to teach and heal. As they returned, they were probably excited, overwhelmed, tired, surprised and anxious to share with Jesus what they had accomplished in his name. Jesus acknowledged what they had done and then encouraged them to rest.

This week the daily gospel readings in Mark continued with Jesus performing miracle after miracle. The crowds grew and people continued to seek Jesus, to learn from him and to bring people to him for healing. Saturday’s gospel, this weekend, was one of the gospel accounts of Jesus feeding thousands by the multiplication of fish and loaves. His heart was “moved with pity” for them. He fed them and then sent them home. Jesus then, along with the apostles got in a boat and left.

This year our Oblate group is studying the Benedictine virtue of hospitality. St. Benedict clearly directs us in The Rule that all should be welcomed as Christ (Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 53). This month’s study surprised (and delighted) me, we looked at Hospitality to Self. We studied the chapters of The Rule, and commentaries, on The Reception of Guests (chapter 53), The Reception of Visiting Monastics (chapter 61) and The Porter of the Monastery (chapter 66. Yes, St. Benedict even provided guidelines for the type of person who should answer the door and how it should be answered.) We also read from chapter or “Week 2 – Welcoming Ourselves” from Boundless Compassion by Joyce Rupp and “The Humility of Self-Compassion”, an article by oblate Becky Van Ness published in Oblate News, Saint Benedict’s Monastery (Fall 2015).

Joyce Rupp points out that there are numerous accounts in the Gospels that show that Jesus took time to step away from his teaching and healing to pray or rest. He also leaves places that reject him or seek to harm him. By his example we learn that self compassion is not self absorption, and focus on the self, despite the needs of others. Jesus attended to their needs. But, he also knew when it was time to step back. It requires, Joyce suggests, more than just stopping the inner critical voices that keep telling us we need to give more, be more, care more. We “ask for the grace to change our relationship with that inner critic” states Becky Van Ness. Both authors offer for our consideration, each in their own way, that as we take time to love and care for ourselves, we will have more love to offer out to the world.

This week let’s take a look at moments that we might benefit from a bit of self compassion. Instead of blaming ourselves for the hundreds of times we don’t get it right (according to our inner critic), can we pause a moment, as we might with a friend, to offer a word of encouragement? Perhaps we can greet ourselves as needed during the day, borrowing from The Rule and the guidelines for the porter of the monastery, and offer a warm and welcoming verbal embrace saying “Thanks be to God” or “your blessing please”.

Wishing you peace this week, Deena

Resource Info:

What is a Benedictine Oblate? I’ve attached a link to the Sisters of St. Benedict, St. Mary Monastery, in Rock Island, IL. This is the monastery that I am an Oblate of. You can visit most Benedictine monastery websites and learn about their Oblate affiliate programs.

Oblates of St. Benedict Monastery, St. Joseph, Minnesota

You might be interested to learn that the multiplication of fish and loaves is found six times in the four synoptic gospels, that is, the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. It is the only miracle that is consistently reported in all four of the gospels. Hospitality – Welcoming the Stranger by Catherine Upchurch

When we can’t see but we know.

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spiritualityLeave a comment

I had something else started and almost complete for my blog post today but then I encountered the most incredible sunset Saturday evening. It was very similar to the sunset picture I added to this blog but I was driving so I didn’t stop to capture it and to be honest, I didn’t want to spoil the moment. I wanted to keep watching it glow and change in all the regal colors of pink, purple and blue. I felt immense gratitude for a beautiful day, warmer temps (after frigid cold on Friday), morning coffee with a friend and a lovely Saturday Vigil Mass.

As I drove I looked to the left where the evening before I saw 20 or so deer grazing in a field. They weren’t there, I wondered where they had ventured for their evening meal. I turned at an intersection on the edge of town to head toward my house and looked up at the sky to see the beginning of the almost full moon (full today on February 5) shrouded in secrecy due to the clouds.

All of these images reminded me of a drive home many years ago at a time that the corporation I worked for had an office building about 20 miles from my home. I would take a scenic route along the backwaters of the Illinois River, drive through what we, in the Illinois Valley area, affectionately call “The Curves” that wind through Starved Rock State Park and then along fields until I arrived home. Fall, Winter, and Spring, during dusk and night times, you have to be especially watchful for deer on the side of the road, hoping they won’t dart out in front of the car.

One very dark evening, with no moonlight, on my drive home I was being careful to watch each side of the road. I said to myself “just because you can’t see the deer, doesn’t mean they aren’t there, so be careful!” Instantly I pondered that as a reflection on God as well. There are moments that God feels right next to me, nudging and pointing the way, and other times that I have to stop and look hard, wondering where God might be. But my faith tells me, God is in fact there regardless of the circumstances of the moment.

This past week we celebrated the memorial of Irish Saint, St Brigid of Kildare. Her feast also marks the cross-quarter day of the Celtic celebration of Imbolc, which means in the belly of the Mother. It is the halfway point between winter solstice and spring equinox, a time when all within begins to rumble and stir to life. The Celts believe that these special days are threshold days or days when the veil between the sacred, spiritual world and the physical world is thinner and the spiritual realm more accessible. Like lighting a votive candle in a church, lighting a candle and placing a scarf out for St. Brigid to touch as she passes by, symbolize a belief in the great communion of saints standing by to intercede on our behalf. Most of us don’t see or hear them with actual vision or sound. But not seeing doesn’t diminish my belief in their heavenly aid.

Last year I purchased Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. It’s a fantastic book that presents numerous ideas for cultivating moments of grace with God by embracing Celtic Christian wisdom. In one of my favorite sections of the book, Julianne reminds us that silence can speak volumes. She writes that children are especially good at seeing beyond what is spoken given their growing vocabularies, being able to imagine and hold on to a sense of wonder, and to celebrate simple moments like walking barefoot in the grass or dirt.

I recall going to my father’s gravesite with my nephew just after his burial. The plot was still dirt covered. My nephew, six years old, stuck his finger deep down in the dirt and said he wanted to touch grandpa one more time. He believed it and in that moment, so did I. For that brief moment, we were in a threshold space, a thin space of touching the sacred world beyond the physical.

I hope this week brings you moments of sensing the sacred in daily moments, moments that you feel the presence of the Divine even when you can’t see it.

Peace, Deena

Resource Info:

Matthew Klein has a great drone video of “The Curves” on his Facebook page. Visit his website for more information about his photography and films, as well as links to his Facebook and Instagram pages.

Starved Rock State Park is a lovely park to visit if you are in the Illinois Valley area. For more info visit their website.

All our choices matter

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, spirituality1 Comment

This past week I listened to a seminar by Tony Robbins. Two steps of a 5-step plan for successful living that he outlined were to choose good role models, and create clear goals, for the type of life you want to live. He also said that proximity is power, the more you spend time with those people, the more likely you are to take on those characteristics and begin to live a similar life. We can’t always be in physical proximity with the people we want to learn from and emulate but there are certainly virtual ways to listen to or even study them. You’ve probably heard the saying that you become like the five people that you spend the most amount of your time with. I think it is true. So, we have to choose those five people carefully!

Saturday, January 28, was the feast day of St. Thomas Aquinas. One of the quotes attributed to St. Thomas is “the things that we love tell us what we are“. I invite us to take a moment this weekend and think about those things. To ask the question where we might be focusing our time and attention. Also, to consider who we are allowing to have such a dramatic impact on the outcome of our lives. I understand that we can’t eliminate some people from our life because of jobs or family situations. But we can control how we let those people impact us. We can also make sure that we are finding ways to be with the people that lift us up, to balance out the situations that we can’t walk away from. We have to live the right story. It can be painful to change our existing story if it isn’t creating the life we want. Here is the interesting part, we will hang on to that pain until we value something else more. Of course it is easier to stay the same, but is that the life we want?

The Gospel for this Fourth Week in Ordinary Time is Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes. Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, those mourning, and those who are persecuted, etc. What in this world makes me want those qualities over the opposite of each of those “blessings”? Nothing. That’s right, nothing in this world. It isn’t easy to choose these qualities over the ones that the world constantly presents to us as desirable. We each have to search our hearts to see if we make choices that will enhance the opportunity of eternal life over temporal satisfaction now.

In saying that, I don’t think that the choice means that we can’t or won’t enjoy the blessings of this life while we are living it, graces like joy, happiness, peace or security. It just means that we don’t cling to those things. We don’t seek them as an answer to the question of finding meaning in life. It means keeping a watch on the importance we attach to them.

Let’s circle back to role models and the 5 people we spend most of our time with. Perhaps the choice is to spend time with people that have a proper balance and attitude about the things that matter. We watch them, and we choose, to make choices that feed our mind, body and spirit over things that feel good for a moment. This week let’s take a loving and non-judgmental glance at the people and choices we spend our time with. Let’s reflect on them in light of St. Thomas Aquinas’ quote – the things we love tell us what we are.

Peace, Deena

Image by Chang Duong on Unsplash