Category: Daily Prayer

A weekend to relax

On By dpavinatoIn contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spirituality1 Comment

This week someone asked me what I did to relax, to find more joy, to play. I thought about that a long time, even after we discussed it. I was tempted to pass up a girls get together this weekend because it has been a long and super busy week at Ignatian Ministries. But my conversation reminded me that all the things will be there! All the household tasks that didn’t get done Saturday morning before leaving will be there for me next week. It’s time to pause…

So, this weekend I am taking time off from writing this blog. I hope this update finds you well and spending the day doing something that you love with family and friends.

Take a break, take a deep breath, look at the sky.

All the things will be there when you are ready to pick it up again.

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today! Deena

Photo: One of my favorite quiet places to look up at the skies and trees.

Tending the soil

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Eucharistic Revival, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

By March or April I am ready for the spring flowers and sprouts of plants that begin to emerge in my flower beds. The early crocus, grape hyacinth, and jonquils bring bright color as the drab palette of winter begins to disappear for another year. I start checking out plants at the garden centers, dusting off the ceramic pots and deciding where I will use them and colors of plants that I will pair together. I buy good organic potting mix to help support the growth of the plants I will purchase. I start out so enthusiastic! I promise the plants I will do a better job of feeding them throughout the season.

Then June, July and August arrive. Frankly I do my best just to keep my plants watered daily. There just isn’t enough time for the care I want to provide. I let life get in the way of caring for my plants, which is also a way I renew my spirit.

This year I lost a couple of flowers in pots, in the back of the house, where they receive full sun every day. They were full sun plants but I guess the heat was too much for them. Yesterday I picked up replacement annuals for those pots and a new perennial for a spot I decided to pull out a plant that isn’t thriving. For some reason I found myself thinking about the daily gospel readings of this week, from the Gospel of Matthew, in which Jesus teaches with the parables of seed that falls on good, rich soil and the seed that is withered by the sun or doesn’t grow because of shallow or rocky soil.

Last week I mentioned the National Eucharistic Congress in my blog. My friend Kelly and I were supposed to attend as parish representatives. We were registered, had hotel reservations and were looking forward to a renewal, a revival in devotion to the Blessed Sacrament not only in our personal spiritual lives but for our parish. Then life happened. We each had different issues that arose so we had to be honest about our ability to attend the Congress. We knew we had to cancel. We knew it was the right decision but as it grew closer, we were also disheartened by our decision and not being with others in Indianapolis for this momentous event, the first Eucharistic Congress in 83 years.

I planned to watch the Revival sessions each evening, and as many other talks as I could, grateful for the gift of live-streaming and those covering the Congress making it accessible to those of us at home. But I was sad about not being there in person. Then the grace of the Holy Spirit surprised me with the extent of the impact of participating in the event remotely. Because of the tears and raw emotions I was feeling, I was probably better off watching from home. I could sing, cry, laugh and pray with only the cats wondering what the heck was going on. I felt a renewed spirit. I was challenged and convicted in areas that I need to take a deep look at. I continue to ponder the way I am using my gifts and how I might be called to use them differently or in new ways.

In closing his talk, Fr. Mike Schmitz, asked us to look at the areas of our lives where we put out the flame of love of God, the “fire extinguishers” or areas we let the world get in the way of a desire to love God more intimately. He also reminded us that we can’t take all the lessons and desires from Congress and jam them back into daily life without making some changes. I assessed that in my life. I committed to some daily changes and expanded prayer time in order to listen to God more closely.

Then almost a week later, stress and inner turmoil, set in just like the heat of summer, scorching my desires, just like it scorched the plants on my back patio. I chastised myself for only being able to keep my new promises for more than 4 days. Thursday and Friday were rough as I berated myself for not being dedicated enough. Then, reflecting on the scripture from this week, I found myself thinking that we have to nurture and tend the soil of our spiritual lives daily so that the birds don’t come and pluck the seeds of change away. The seeds in good, rich soil are not completely protected from the heat and the birds but they have a better chance of surviving. So I asked myself what I needed to do to make sure the seeds of my desire to spend more time in quiet contemplation were planted in deep and fertile soil.

The world will try to grab our attention and tell us that our desires are not possible or perhaps even worth working at. It will tell us that superficial pleasures are more valuable than inner peace and tranquility. It will tell us that our deepest desires are not possible. I think I would rather fertilize the soil and keeping working at it, even when it’s hard! If you find yourself in a similar place, don’t give up! I’m here for you, be assured of my prayers for each of you.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: flowers growing in a wooded area in Oregon, Illinois

Ever growing desire

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

My niece’s daughter, Genevieve, is going to be 6 this week. She loves to play, craft and create. She really loves her Legos! Last year she worked on a Cinderella castle for ages 12+. It took her a little while longer than her normal creations but I believe she was done in less than a week. The kits for children her age are done in no time. She began with the smaller combinations of regular pieces, then advanced to the small kits with specific designs and now loves the more challenging ones. She gained one level of skill and then advanced to the next, desiring to learn and do more.

As we bring June to a close today, I would like to talk once more about the topic of Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Then I will pause it, at least for a while. A few people commented to me, after reading the past few blogs, that they really hoped I found what I was searching for, that it seemed I was really searching for something in my life. I guess on some level I always have been and will likely continue to be searching for deeper meaning and greater depths of understanding in my life. But it is more like peeling back layers of an onion or going deeper into the middle of a spiral. At Ignatian Ministries, we refer to that as “called deeper together”, to go beyond the shallow waters and into the deep waters of faith.

We don’t get a Catholic education in grade school, or as CCD students, and then stay at that level of understanding all of our lives. At least I hope we don’t. Genevieve would quickly be bored with working on Lego kits at a level for 5 year olds. Go to church or not, I believe it’s an important aspect of faith and community, you will be bored with your faith if you stay at a grade school understanding of it. Growth happens as we look for new ways to understand the Mystery of God and its meaning in our lives.

The practice of Lectio Divina, sacred and prayerful reading of scripture, is part of my Benedictine Oblate practice. Listening to and reflecting on the Living Word of God in scripture each day, and our additional study, whether in books, retreats or more structured study programs, should take us deeper and deeper in our understanding of who God is calling us to be in life. We go deeper into that spiral, finding new meaning, based on the desires of our heart and the circumstances in our lives.

I love the First Principle and Foundation of Ignatian Spirituality, to live with God forever, but the depth of the spirituality comes in daily prayer, daily examen and discernment. It is an ongoing process. God loves each of us, uniquely and passionately, where we are in our state in life. It doesn’t matter if someone else is further along or has a greater depth of understanding. We are where we are, with all of our desires and situations, and God wants to meet us there.

Go ahead, touch the tassel of Jesus’ garment today, (today’s Gospel reading is Mark 5: 21-43) let him turn to you and talk to you. Have a conversation regarding who you are and what you are called to be and to see, right now, today. Keep having those conversations, they will change over time, as you do!

Wishing you overflowing peace today, Deena

Image: Sen on Unsplash

A call to pause

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

As I prepared to write this, reviewing my notes and ideas, the bells rang calling those attending 10 a.m. Mass to hurry along and, then again, to mark the top of the hour. I hear the bells every day, from my parish church at the end of the block that I live on, but especially now with more windows open and time spent outside attending to my plants. They remind me of the bells at the monastery. They remind me of a call to pause and say a prayer. They remind me of some words of Sr. Joan Chittister in her book, The Monastic Heart, that were also used as part of a reflection a couple of weeks ago in our weekly email update from Sr. Joan.

Joan said, “The purpose of Benedictine bells is not to spell out the hour of the day at all; that task is left to horologists. Our bells, on the other hand, are there to wrench our attention back to what is really important in life: the memory of God in our midst. The memory of the purpose of life. The memory that time is moving on and so must we. The recognition that life today is different than yesterday, and we must not try to hold life back. The bells jog the memory that there are actually more important, more meaningful, more demanding dimensions of life than anything ordinary we can possibly be doing as they ring. The bells stop us in midflight to prod us to ask ourselves again if what we are doing is what we are really meant to be doing.”

It’s true that the bells also call us to remember the great concerns of life, such as caring for the poor and people in need, or comforting the sick or grieving. We must ask whether we aware of the concerns of our brothers and sisters in areas of the world ravaged by war, weather or persecution? But they also cause me to pause and look at what I am doing in the moment, is it important? Does it matter? Am I living my vocation in life?

This week I had several opportunities to pause and slow down, to look at my self-care, nurturing or self-compassion. My friend Kate Brown taught a workshop, “Nurture and Grow: Cultivating Self-Compassion in a Turbulent World.” We considered ways to be more compassionate to ourselves and that in doing so we build a reservoir to compassion to give to others. We discussed being more mindful vs mind full and the importance of finding a community of like-minded individuals that will support and encourage us and then we in turn for each other. We also discussed embracing our imperfections and the importance of accepting ourselves, where and who we are at this moment.

Speaking of imperfections, yesterday was my monthly creative journaling workshop and our topic was “Resistance, Joy and Self-Compassion.” Resistance and judgement in our creative endeavors is definitely the thief of joy! We experimented with drawing ovals, faces and a drawing ourselves from a selfie taken during class. Lisa encouraged us to break resistance by doing a little bit of creative art or journaling every day, to make little promises to ourselves to commit to our creativity. But it can be so hard to find and set aside the time for our own self-nurturing. Am I willing to commit to doing so?

Church, convent and monastery bells have provided this reminder to pause to countless men and women throughout the centuries. For some reason, the bells were a soothing reminder this morning of all of the women who have guided me throughout my life. When I remember my mother on this Mother’s Day, I remember a woman who worked harder than anyone I have ever met. I don’t know what she thought about self-nurturing or self-compassion, we never talked about it, at least not in those words. But I do know while she always gave of herself to others, she also knew how to relax and enjoy herself when the work was done, whether it was Saturday night dinners out with my father, their annual fishing trips to Minnesota or backyard gatherings with friends. I remember my “Noni” (Italian grandmother) and times spent with her, usually in the kitchen or the garden. I recall my aunt, a Franciscan sister, who encouraged me in ways that I didn’t realize fully at the time. The Benedictine sisters who invited me to learn more about the monastic life and community remain important witnesses to me of a life of purpose.

Pause for a few minutes today and consider the women who have influenced you in your life, whether mothers, grandmothers or nurturing women and role-models. Did they offer (or perhaps they are still alive and continue to offer) examples of self-care and compassion? Who does offer that reminder to you? Would you be willing, if you don’t regularly, to take a few minutes each day to find ways to embrace who you are and what you feel you need to live a life that supports your purpose and vision in life? Why not start now!

Wishing you abundant peace and compassion, Deena

Picture: of the bell tower at St. Mary Monastery in Rock Island, Illinois. I am an Oblate of this monastery.

Pruning the vine

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This weekend I am attending an aromatherapy workshop/retreat in Northern Illinois. I stepped away from the evening social to write this so that it can post in the morning when we are in our first session. I was talking to my friend Kathy and said, “I don’t think I want to write about the retreat yet, there has been too much to process and I’m not sure what I want to say yet.’ The introvert in me was tired after a full day of being with others and ready to retire, so I stepped away to the quiet of my room. I opened the gospel reading for the Fifth Sunday of Easter, and saw that it is the discourse on the Vine and the branches. I quickly changed my mind about mentioning the retreat.

Jesus tells us, as he uses the analogy of the Vine and branches, that some pruning is required in order to bear fruit. Pruning will separate away the lifeless and dead parts of the vine plant so that the healthy branches can bear fruit. The rest is gathered together and thrown into the fire. If you have ever had a garden, especially if you have grown zucchini or cucumbers, you know that the vines that grow off the main plant can easily get entangled with weeds or with other plants if not cared for. It’s important to watch as the vines or branches begin to grow and produce fruit. If those branches mingle and get wrapped up in another plant or weed, it is possible that the vines will be choked and that the plant won’t produce the fruit that we desire. Jesus tells us a branch, connected to the Vine, will bear more fruit by pruning away the things we don’t want and by caring for the plant we want to grow and produce abundant fruit. The fruit of sharing the life-giving message of Christ with the world, or at least the world that we interact with, will grow with the same attention and proper care as we need to tend our gardens. If we ignore and hope for the best, we probably won’t accomplish the desired outcome.

Meditation and reflection on the Word of God is an important part of making sure we remain connected to that Truth. As a Benedictine Oblate, that daily reflection with the Word is called Lectio Divina, which I have talked about in previous posts. It is by reading, listening and reflecting on the Word that we open our hearts and minds to hear what God has to say to us, what gifts we should use and sometimes, where we should be using those gifts.

As I returned to my room and reflected on a day full of suggestions about self-compassion, rest and mindfulness, care and releasing the negative burdens of the past to make room for a life of joy and bringing that joy and light to others, I thought yes, this too is part of the pruning. Jesus often stepped away from his disciples and others to pray and connect with God, before or after doing his work in the world. That stepping away was life-giving to him as it can be to us.

During Lent I was more intentional in talking about, and integrating in my life, time for prayer, creating a sacred space for prayer, setting aside activities that are not life-giving and making time for the things that are, entering the cave of the heart to be able to listen and discern. I have wondered all weekend why those were activities I was more intentional about during Lent have faded into the background, and have seemed to be overtaken and strangled by weeds of busyness and disordered passions.

Why is it so hard to step away, to spend a few minutes in silence and self care, in order to connect more deeply with the Source of all things? Why will we say yes to endless requests from others but say no to ourselves when we need to nourish and fill our spirit with just a few minutes that might help us listen and respond to that which is most important? When will we realize just how life-giving that time is, and that replenished and nourished, we are able to be a better vehicle of love and light in the world?

Another retreat participant and I took a few minutes after lunch to walk to Stronghold Castle here on the grounds of the Stronghold Camp and Retreat Center. We found bluebells layering the ground on both sides of the path, we listened to the waters of the Rock River just beyond the castle, and our conversation was interrupted by the loud and persistent jabbing of a woodpecker hidden in the tall trees. We allowed ourselves to be renewed by the healing energy of nature and it only took us about 15 minutes!

Take a few minutes today and try to do the same, be nourished by a walk, ponder looking out the window, take a short nap, read the gospel reading cited above regarding the Vine and the branches, and in those activities, connect to God, the source of all goodness. Find time to step away from the routine activities of your day, even if it’s just for 15 minutes.

Be still and listen with hearts and ears open to hear and receive.

May you find abundant peace in your day! Deena

Image: a photo I took at Stronghold Camp and Retreat Center

Walking behind great women

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Life in the Spirit, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Some of these blogs start with an idea and a plan and things fall nicely into place. Today my plan was disrupted by the jubilant article written by Maria Shriver in Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, “A Woman’s Moonshot”. Maria shares the experience of joining the First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden, for the State of the Union this past Thursday. She shares the story of taking her idea to bring equity to women’s health research for Alzheimer’s, rheumatoid arthritis, menopause, autoimmune diseases and much more to the First Lady last year. Women’s health research has always been underfunded. She acknowledges the First Lady for taking her request seriously and acting quickly. But the best part of her article, for me, was when Maria stated that as the First Lady raised her arm in acknowledgement of the President’s introduction of the health research initiative, she quickly reached out for Maria’s hand to raise it with hers. As Maria says, “She didn’t have to do that, but she did…”

Great women working together for a common goal, that started with an idea or dream! That’s a vision we need for Women’s History Month. If you have a dream, follow it! Don’t give up, even when the road seems bumpy and unsure. Earlier this week I sat with an idea with my journaling cards, from my Visual Journal monthly class project, and thought of all the reasons why it’s too late, will take too long, or that I am not creative enough. Maria Shriver is seeing this dream come to life at 68, granted she has a family history and life experience to walk in bigger circles and perhaps dream bigger dreams, but she follows her dream of living a “life above the noise” and empowering change-makers – “big thinkers, visionaries and visionaries” to move humanity forward. We can each do this, regardless of the size of our circle of influence.

My original plan for this blog, in honor of Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day this week, was to write a litany to the great women, Saints and saints, in my life. Sr. Joan Chittiser’s powerful Litany of Women for the Church has always been a favorite. This link is 2021, but I think this is revised. I had a much older version, perhaps published by Pax Christi, on a well loved prayer card, that I can’t seem to locate now. It calls on great women, channels of the Word, to intercede for us and model what we might become. I wanted my version to include the women in my life that have lifted me up and encourage me along with way.

Besides saying “pray for us” or “intercede for us” you might also use “model for us”, “show us the way”, “teach us”, etc. Don’t we need to pray for and be that for each other?

Who would you include in your litany?

Wishing you the support and encouragement to dream your big dreams! Deena

Image: a photo our Our Lady of Good Counsel window in the Votive Candle Chapel at the Shrine of our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse, WI.

Unceasing prayer

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Wednesday was “one of those days”. It feels like there have been a few of those lately. So after physical therapy and before returning to work, I stopped by the Queen of the Holy Rosary Shrine because I thought they had all day Adoration. I arrived at the Shrine and entered at the end of the Mass for the school children of Trinity Catholic. After Mass and for a brief period of Adoration for the children, they sang songs. Their angelic voices, and the incense being used, lifted my spirit. I watched them leave the church, from my place in the last pew. During that special time of prayer, Fr. Tom asked them to tell Jesus about the people they would like to pray for, to mention their concerns to him. I thought how lucky they are to have that special time each week and that they were reminded that their prayers are heard, that it is important to share them with Jesus. I took it to heart myself.

I also reflected on the fact that they were likely in church at this same time each week, their beautiful songs and prayers being lifted up while the rest of us are busy at work or home. Then I thought, this is true for more than the school children, there are monasteries or churches offering prayers at every moment throughout the world. Just as I was lifted by my chance encounter with the school Mass, I can be lifted by the prayers being said everywhere. I just have to stop, center and connect to those prayers rising like incense.

Constant prayer for the world is one of the main reasons that I discerned a life of a Benedictine Oblate when I was comparing all the various charisms of religious communities and whether I was being called to religious life in the 1990’s. I love so many aspects of each of the various spiritualities, Franciscan, Dominican, Carmelite, etc. and different parts of my personality and spiritual life could align with each. It was frankly hard to choose. Ultimately seeing the call of a monastic to perpetual prayer, by praying the seven hours of prayer, was the call that tugged at my heart and spirit the hardest. That does not mean that every monastery, or Oblate (lay associate) prays those seven hours! I knew I couldn’t live up to that ideal. In fact, most monasteries that I am aware of pray Morning (Lauds), Noon (Sext) and Night Prayer (Vespers and/or perhaps Compline), not all seven hours. But the idea that at some point in the day, my prayers, or desire to pray, would be joined with the continuous and unceasing prayers for the world, solidified my decision. Praying for the world is a lofty goal, especially when most days I get mad at the driver going too fast or too slow around me. But the goal of a monk, an Oblate and frankly all Christians, is to pray without ceasing, keep the love of God alive in our hearts and mind.

In our retreat, A Different Kind of Fast, Christine Valters Painter, reminds us to go to our interior cell, our “cave of the heart” to rest with the Beloved. In our weekly prayer with the desert elders, this week Amma Syncletica reminded us, in a quote offered by Christine, that we can be “solitary in one’s mind while living in crowd”. We don’t have to go away to a monastery or church to pray or be in the presence of the Divine. But we are invited to make the effort and be intentional about the encounter. Wednesday I needed the physical presence of the Eucharist in Adoration, today I rest in the warmth and embrace of Love in the sunshine.

As we continue on our Lenten journey, I invite you to consider the places that you feel most connected to the love of God and how you might join your prayers with all the prayers being lifted up in the world for those in need. If your prayer “list” is typically a personal list for family and friends, perhaps this week part of your Lenten observance could be to lift up all the places and people in the world that are in need of our prayers. As we heard on Ash Wednesday from the Gospel of Matthew; “when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door and pray”.

As I offer my prayers with all the prayers being said throughout the day, you will all be remembered.

Wishing you peace in and through your prayers, Deena

Image: Evening prayer during a visit to Mount St. Scholastica in Atchison, Kansas.

Trusting in new life

On By dpavinatoIn Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

We have been teased the past week or so with a taste of Spring. Then all of a sudden it was winter again. Today the sun is shining with a forecast of high 60 degrees tomorrow and possibly 70’s on Tuesday, before it drops to 30’s again Weds. January was brutal and February, well, was just February in Illinois. It can be exhausting. I watch my bulbs, and early Spring plants, like my Lenten Rose, starting to grow. I am ready for Spring! Later this week we will cross the threshold into March. I hope it will be a month filled with warm days of sunshine and continued growth.

We are also only entering the Second Week of Lent. Perhaps like me, you began Lent full of enthusiasm and a desire to be renewed in the desert and leave it a transformed person. The early days are easy when desire is strong. Yet, they can be challenging too because the new practices have not yet been firmly established.

Last week, for three nights, I attended a Lenten Rosary Mission at a neighboring parish, hosted by Fr. Gary Blake, with the retreat given by Fr. Lawrence Lew, from England and the Promoter General of the Rosary for the Dominicans. It was wonderful to hear the Fr. Lawrence’s message of Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, how we can learn from and model that love in our desire to serve him and to see our prayers, especially in the Rosary, contributing to all the prayers being prayed for each other and the world, as we trust in God’s providence. To pray in community was uplifting but it also took me out of my newly established Lenten routine of special daily prayers and participating in my online retreat. This weekend I reflected that I didn’t completely return to it after the retreat ended. As a matter of fact, I felt a bit disheartened about doing so.

Mark’s gospel of the Transfiguration reminds us that Jesus wanted to give Peter, James and John a glimpse of heaven, and hope to hold on to in the days ahead, days of his arrest, trial, torture and eventual death on the cross. He had just told them he was going to die, so this was his invitation to see beyond the cross. We know that aside from John and the women of the cross, they all ran and hid in fear, the vision of the Transfiguration a distant memory.

Last Spring, and the Springs before that, likely seem a distant memory to us too. But Spring will come, we are seeing signs of it in nature. So, let’s not be discouraged or tempted to give up our desired fasts or initiatives to enter more deeply in prayer. If one day isn’t so great, do not despair. Start again in the morning with an intention to do better. Today I plan to catch up on the days of my retreat I missed this week and do some journaling.

Let us hold on to that vision of new life that we will encounter at Easter. Lent isn’t about winning a trophy in an Ironman competition of accomplished feats. It’s about growing closer to God, creating more time and space to look closely at our relationship with God. It’s a time to look at the things we spend time on and value in life, considering them from a perspective of our spiritual lives. The Transfiguration gives us hope to hold on during difficult days, with the glimpse of what lies ahead. May we move through these remaining days of Lent with a steadfast spirit of faith!

Wishing you continued strength for your Lenten pilgrimage, Deena

Image: tulips in my flower bed last year

A desire for freedom

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

When I began the year I decided my “word of the year” was Fortitude. One of the practices I have incorporated in each new year, inspired by many authors and retreat leaders, has been to spend time asking questions and reflecting on the predominant quality or theme I want to grow in during the new year. I feel I lack discipline in many ways, so Fortitude came to mind. However, February has been a month of transitions and new learning, so it doesn’t feel right any longer. So, what word will it be? This week Freedom keeps coming to mind.

Last week I wrote about reflecting on the grace we seek before times of prayer, reflection or meditation. I am excited to begin Lent this week. I see Lent as a time of prayer, fasting and almsgiving that allows us to search our hearts. I have several practices that I hope to incorporate and new teachings to reflect upon. I have found that each of them touch on freedom (physical, emotional and spiritual) in some way, shape or form.

Yesterday was my monthly Creative, Visual Journaling class. Lisa invited us, as she gave us prompts to journal about, to be free of what we think is possible, from what has been part of our past experience and imagine the life we wish to live. We have to start with our mindset, Lisa challenged us. We have to change our minds to think about what is possible. Lisa believes that journaling helps us navigate change and transition, it “gives our subconscious mind the problem to solve”. So I embraced the freedom to imagine the life I want – the who, what, how of a life of using my authentic gifts, boldly and with joy.

Another teaching that has been weaving its way into my daily life and practice has been the desire to live more mindfully. The practice of mindfulness helps us be in the present moment, aware of what we are feeling, setting aside the scattered and distracting thoughts of “later”, “what if”, “how will I be able to?”, “why can’t I”, “should I?”, “how could they”… I am sure you have had similar lists. These thoughts do not serve us. A better way is to be in the moment, aware of the only thing we can be sure of, the present moment. I have read and studied many authors and teachers of mindfulness, Christian and Zen, but a review of mindfulness impacted me in a new way this month.

I shared in a Facebook post this month, that some of you may have seen, that I just began the third year of a Wisdom/Mystics program. The first year was Women Mystics and last year, Celtic Wisdom and Mystics. This year we are studying Modern Mystics. On the first Saturday of February we were blessed with the teaching of Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master and Buddhist teacher, by his student Kaira Jewel Lingo. Kaira Jewel is a teacher in her own right, given authorization to teach by Thich Nhat Hanh, after spending 15 years at Plum Village living and studying with him. Kaira Jewel is an author and teaches many programs, which you can find online or on apps, like Insight Timer.

A simple practice, one of many Kaira Jewel shared with us during our class, is to set the intention (i.e. in the language of my blog last month, name the grace) to be present for yourself. During our slow breath work as part of meditation, or you could do as part of Christian Centering Prayer, is to inhale “I have arrived” and exhale “I am home”. Kaira Jewel shared that we have to first come home to ourselves, to get to the root of our own suffering and to find unity and inter-being with all other persons and species. If “suffering” seems foreign to you, simply think of it as areas we have opportunities to be more aware of, to grow and let go of.

There have been a multitude of ways that the simple practice of returning to the breath, to the home of my body and spirit, has helped me this month. Has it been perfect? No! But I am learning. I tried to be more present listening to others. Instead of thinking of something outside the moment like a “to do” list, I tried to be attentive to what a person was saying to me. I have tried to be present to my physical pain, instead of reacting in anger or fear of it. Physical therapy seemed to go better this week! I have tried to think about why I am eating what I am eating, especially when it is an attempt to stuff down some other feeling or issue I would prefer to avoid. In a moment when I found myself reacting to someone, I came home to my anger and judgement and wondered why I was reacting to their words, then tried to have compassion and understanding for the person speaking, why they might be saying what they were saying.

Again, was it perfect? No, but perfection isn’t the goal, freedom is. Freedom from worry, anxiety, anger, judgment, etc is. All of those feelings do not change the situation so why do I view them as helpful? It was as if I learned that I had left my home unattended for years, just kept the heat on but the dust accumulated.

The leper in today’s Gospel for the Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time desired to be made clean, had the faith that Jesus could do it by his act of will. At that time the man’s leprosy was viewed as an outcome of his sin. So Jesus’ act of healing brought him back into his community, it freed him. Doesn’t our sin, judgment and separation from others do the same for us? We are saying, what I want is more important than what God wants for me or how I might be here for others. Our own need and desire trumps everyone else, including God. Desiring to be made whole, desiring freedom from sin and the accumulation of dust, moves us back into community, with God and others.

Author and dear friend, Judith Valente’s Sunday blog (found on Medium and on Facebook), reflecting on Lent and looking at it in a new way, asks us to examine similar questions, “can I take a hard look at the habits I’ve acquired over the past year that don’t serve me or others well? Can I make a conscious effort to let go of them, to make a fresh start?” Again, freedom, freedom to move beyond the habits of my past with a desire to live with more awareness of and for love for self and others. These questions will be part of my daily examen during Lent!

In her weekly email, and in preparation for our Lenten Retreat, “A Different Kind of Fast”, author Christine Valters Painter discusses the Three Renunciations of theologian of the early Christian Church, John Cassian. Christine says the third renunciation was one she found most powerful, and I would agree, as I read her description of them. The third calls us to “renounce even our images of God so that we can meet God in the fullness of that divine reality beyond the boxes and limitations we create.”

This renunciation challenges me to be free to sit with, be gazed upon by the God who desires to be with me. I can be home with God exactly as I am, knowing that I am loved. I can look at the areas that I hope to grow in greater love and compassion for others. I can desire a purging of old ways with the desire to make more room for God and love of others.

So this Lent, where do you desire greater freedom? What grace do you seek for these 40 days of “retreat”, a time to free yourself of habits that prevent you from listening to and responding to God’s call in your life? May it be a time of growth and greater freedom to love and serve with our lives.

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

Photo: One of the unfinished marble pieces, never freed from the stone, of Michelangelo in Florence.

The grace I seek

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

A way of praying that has become ingrained in me the past couple of years, learning and growing in Ignatian spirituality, has been to begin prayer time reflecting on and naming a grace I seek for that time of prayer, retreat or gathering. It’s very different than praying prayers of petition or praying for intentions, which is also an important part of raising those people and concerns that we have to God. I’ll share a couple of articles, at the end of this post, that will introduce you to naming a grace, if that is not a practice you are aware of. The articles are by two authors that I regard highly, Becky Eldredge and Vinita Hampton Wright. Asking for a grace is “not for God, but for us”, Vinita writes. It is something we are seeking or wish to grow more deeply aware of in our lives. It might be peace, clarity, freedom from anger in a situation, or greater joy.

Yesterday afternoon I read the daily reflection in Give Us This Day by Sr. Colleen Gibson, a Sister of Saint Joseph of Philadelphia. She has a podcast, Beyond The Habit, which I haven’t listened to yet but looks very interesting and frankly, like a lot of fun too! Sr. Colleen speaks of yesterday’s daily Gospel and Solomon’s request for wisdom and an understanding heart. She reminds us that having a discerning heart, to seek wisdom in our daily lives, is a “gift and a muscle”. We have to exercise and use it. She also comments that asking for a grace is a “first of many steps on the spiritual journey.” The gifts or grace that we ask for may not come to us the way that we expect but they are graces we then have to use.

To slow down and reflect on that which we are seeking in prayer helps us, I have found, center and ground ourselves before the prayer. It makes the prayer more intentional, our eyes and hearts become open to see and hear what God might want to say to us or invite us to consider.

Lent begins this month on February 14th. Those of us that grew up Catholic typically prepare for Lent thinking about what we want to “give up”. Yes, this is still important. Giving up a favorite food or behavior helps us learn about sacrifice, perhaps offering that sacrifice for the needs of others. It also helps us clear our thoughts and minds of things that are habitual or distract us from God’s presence. It isn’t about a diet or another chance to revive a forgotten New Year’s resolution but rather make space for God.

This Lent I invite you to spend some time thinking about a grace that you seek this Lent. This will then open the way to consider what you would like to “fast” from this Lent. You might also consider a program or book that will help you on this journey toward the grace you are seeking. I once read that The Missionaries of Charity, the order founded by St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, read the book Life of Christ by Fulton J. Sheen during the 40 days of Lent. It’s a large book, so not one that you could fall behind on daily reading but rather develop the daily habit of reflecting on the life of Jesus. Many other publishers, such as Loyola Press, Ascension Press or Word on Fire Catholic Ministries (there are many others!) have books or daily reflection programs if that is something you would find helpful. (See below for information regarding the daily Individual Path of Prayer for Lent that we offer from Ignatian Ministries.)

I will be participating in a second offering of A Different Kind of Fast by Abbey of the Arts. We walked through the sections of Christine Valters Painter’s book two years ago and now that the book has been edited and published we will be walking through it again this Lent. As Christine wrote in her weekly newsletter today, “Ultimately, the practice of fasting is about making more space within us to encounter our deepest, most radiant selves. How do we listen to the whispers of the Holy One when we constantly distract ourselves with social media and doomscrolling. How do we discover the radical abundance available to us, not of food or entertainment, but of nourishing gifts like joy, peace, love, and gratitude? How do we make room for the grief inside us which is a witness to how much we have loved if we are fighting to be strong and keep control in an unpredictable world?”

You have some time but begin to think about Lent before we arrive there on Ash Wednesday. This time will allow you to really reflect on the grace you seek. What would you like Lent to look like this year? What do you hope for your spiritual life as you move through the forty days of Lent? What practice might you add that will enrich your daily practice of prayer and reflection? What Lenten sacrifice or fast would clear the way in your heart and mind for a closer relationship to Jesus?

May it bring you greater peace, Deena

The articles I mentioned above:

Gathering the Graces by Becky Eldredge, August 2020

Asking for the Grace to Want the Grace by Vinita Hampton Wright, June 2019

Jesus: Companion in our Suffering, An Ignatian Prayer Path for Lent, Ignatian Ministries, 2024

Image from my photos, the prayer and adoration chapel at St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island.