Category: Spiritual Journey

A day to be

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This is the third blog in the series that began unfolding a couple of weeks ago, Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Today in that quest to discover and learn more about the topic I have been reminded to pause, rest and listen.

I don’t work, clean or shop on Sundays, it’s a day to pray, write, read, reflect and rest. But there are times that I even get a bit ambitious about these more laid back goals!

The heat index is going to be at a new high today for this year so far. These temps feel early for June, but then again weather hasn’t felt typical the last 2 or 3 years. It was in the 70’s already at 6:30 a.m. I felt the warmth of the breeze coming in the patio door, and the humidity starting to increase, so I thought I better water all the plants and do some trimming before the heat became excessive. But before that, I reminded myself to run downstairs to gather up some clothes drying after yesterday’s laundry. Moving too fast, I felt my knee give and a shooting pain. I hobbled down and then back up the steps, rested a bit, and then watered outdoors, frustrated that my day was going to be impacted by the pain in my knee and leg. Muscle spasms in my leg and knee pain have been a struggle since January, some days better than others. It frustrates me to be slowed down but as I have heard multiple times, if we don’t slow down and listen to our bodies, our bodies will do that for us.

So, today will be my day to slow down and rest. I am not being a willing participant in this plan, because I had a different topic in mind to write about today, another art journal reflection that I want to spend time on, and slides for a class later this month on essential oils and productivity to prepare today (Yes, the irony is not lost on me today)! The muscle relaxer that is calling my name will likely impact some of that, at least for a couple of hours, they really impact my ability to focus.

Yesterday I started a new nine day reflection series on “revival”. After the prayer and reflection, the challenge was to sit and listen, to pause for 15 minutes asking the Holy Spirit to help us see where we need and desire revival. I wasn’t in “pause” mode at that time of the day that I read it but it was the best time to respond to the challenge. Several times my mind wandered and I had to pull it back in and just “listen”. Perhaps today is my repeat lesson for not giving it the proper attention yesterday!

In talking about the midmorning pause, “the blessing hour”, Macrina Wiederkehr, in her book Seven Sacred Pauses, says that in the midst of the possibilities of a new day, we need to try to be aware of the Spirit’s abiding presence. To pause as the day is just getting started and we begin to feel productive, Macrina says, takes great trust. “When you spirit mingles with Spirit, you are transformed into a temple of God. The house of God that you are…need frequent renewal. It needs affirmation and blessing. Go deep into your temple. This is your real work place. Dwell there in silence….”

So on this holy day, Sunday, I pause to rest, my spirit and my knee, giving them both the time and attention they need.

Are you in need of a sacred pause today?

Wishing you love and peace, Deena

Photo: On a lighter note, I was reminded of my visit to Florence this Fall. It was hot and everyone took the noon break to shop or visit other spots not on the tour guide’s schedule, I opted to enjoy a refreshing aperitif in the piazza watching all the people, sights and sounds.

When the waters are muddy

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

This week I am going to continue the topic I introduced last week; Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Once we start asking the questions and searching for the answers we are bound to encounter the shadow side of who we are.

I am very impatient. That impatience causes frustration, fear and even anger. I want the answers now versus being content with the process of the answers unfolding. I am very sensitive and expect too much of others. Pride sneaks up on me before I can catch it and I am easily let down and disappointed when an idea is taken, I am not acknowledged for what I do, am ignored, or hurtful comments are made. As I do a daily Examen, these same vices keep coming up over and over again. Hopefully none of these are familiar to you!

But God understands says Sr. Joan Chittister. In her book, Illuminated Life, Joan says, “Contemplation is the mirror through which we come to touch the greatness of God, yes, but contemplation is also the filter through which we discern the scope of our smallness and the potential of our greatness at the same time. The contemplative looks for perfection nowhere but in God. The contemplative understands brokenness. And, most of all, the contemplative realizes that it is precisely at the point of personal need that God comes to fill up the emptiness that is us.” As we contemplate our lives and our lives in and with God, we see what and where we are lacking. She continues, “Not to know what we lack is to become our own gods”.

I often share saint quotes or images on my social media pages, or in this blog, because I draw inspiration from them. Certainly because of a desire to be more like the people they were. But also to learn where they came from and the challenges they had to overcome. It is often in acknowledging their shadow and dark sides that they made the choice to change, to learn more about who God was calling them to be.

I participated in another amazing retreat, Stretching of the Heart: A Celtic Mini-Retreat on St. Columba, this weekend with Abbey of the Arts, led by our online abbess and poet/author Christine Valter Painter, musician/songwriter and interspiritual minister Simon de Voil, and poet Kenneth Steven. The prayers, meditations, and poetry were wonderful as always and as expected. What I learned, that I had not been aware of, was that St. Columba, Columcille (his Irish name, Columba is the Latin), was the cause of a war and the death of many in Ireland. Columba kept one of the manuscripts he was illuminating for the Church, refusing to return it. Doing some additional research I have learned that there are various versions of who died, how many died and whether Columba left Ireland for the island of Iona or was banished there. Regardless, a desire to possess the manuscript and unwillingness to obey was a dark side of Columba’s story. But he went on, desiring to be a pilgrim for Christ, to found more monasteries, write over 300 books and is said to have had a main role in the conversion of Scotland to Christianity.

In social media posts in May, Bishop Robert Barron painted a description of this discovery of who we are in God that I have reflected on often since reading it. He compared the “ego-drama” to the “theo-drama”. The ego-drama is “the play that I’m writing, I’m producing, I’m directing, and I’m starring in. We see this absolutely everywhere in our culture. Freedom of choice reigns supreme: I become the person that I choose to be.” The theo-drama is the play God is writing, as we discover who we are in God and what God is calling me to be, we learn our part in the great story. Yes, we still have freedom, freedom to choose who we want to be and who we are in God.

As I continue this exploration of Who am I in God and What is God calling me to see, be and do in my life, don’t be afraid of the resistance to change you might feel, the human imperfections you find and the endless challenge to overcome them. Let’s just continue to shed light on them and keep contemplating the questions.

Out of the mud, a lotus flower emerges without dirt or blemish on the lovely petals it produces. Lotus flowers return to the murky water every evening but open their blossoms each morning with the light of the new day. Just like the lotus flower I am using for my image this week, out of a muddy waters of our lives, the murky waters of those habits and characteristics we are still working to free ourselves of, we can emerge in the light of who we are in God.

Image: A lotus flower print I purchased at a conference almost 30 years ago. It is framed and is one of the first images I see each morning.

Answering the great question

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Every day Catholic, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

For as long as I can remember I have been interested in self growth, self knowledge, the interior life and helping others consider the same things. In high school I was interested in retail and art design, but psychology was my favorite class. One of our parish priests at the time asked me if I felt I would be helping the world if I pursued my interest in design. Maybe he saw more in me than I did or maybe that question led me to reflect on my interest in psychology. Maybe I allowed myself to be influenced by his opinion. Certainly at the time I did not have the awareness that we can help others and live our life purpose in any job or role we pursue. Regardless I began to consider social work as a field of study and my Aunt, a sister in the congregation of the Franciscans in Joliet, introduced me to the professor of social work at University of St. Francis (College at the time) and so it began.

I ended up with a double major in Psychology and Sociology, began a study of Developmental Psychology and then ultimately got a Masters in Counselor Education from Northern Illinois University. My focus was adult psychology and education and I studied the techniques of Rational Emotive Therapy. My favorite professor challenged me to look at every worry or concern, where the source of my frustration was rooted, which ultimately is our thinking, irrational thoughts, about situations. Lately his voice and teaching have been echoing in my mind again. I worked for a couple of years at a community college close to the University but helping students figure out what English or Math class to register for was galaxies away from my interest in finding purpose and meaning in life. Oh sure, there were the occasional mini classes and conversations but generally it was not fulfilling work and I was eventually enticed by the world of technology, business, travel and making more money.

During travels and especially during my time in Michigan, working for Electronic Data Systems on the General Motors account, I encountered people, teachers, thought systems and new spiritual ideologies that awakened my passion for the interior life. After five years, and a suggestion that if I wanted to move up the corporate ladder with EDS a move to Texas would be something to consider, I moved “home” to Illinois from Michigan. I opened a small business, with a storefront as a means of encountering others. Soon I was invited to teach personal development workshops at the local community college. At the same time I went through a lay ministry program, got more involved with my parish and began the three year formation process to become a Benedictine Oblate, making a promise of fidelity to the monastic life and commitment to be a “monk in the world”.

The interior questions, who am I and what is my place in the world, have been the fundamental and important questions that have been the foundation of each of those changes and decisions in life. I can’t say that I have ever felt that I have truly answered the question or been content with wherever I was in each phase of life. Recently I have noticed that there have been slight changes to the question about purpose that continue to consume my prayer and meditation.

Several quotes or classes have crossed my path this week that have given me reason to pause and ask why they are catching my attention. What am I hearing or what are they asking that tugs at my heart? I will share and explore these more in the coming weeks.

We have all seen the quotes that we are ultimately responsible for our happiness and that we have to control the things we give our time and attention to in our search for happiness. We hear that if we don’t spend time getting to know ourselves and honor what is important to us, then we will only end up listening to the opinions of others and allowing ourselves to be influenced by them. All of that is true but it feels like the focus or the goal is self-centered.

Yesterday, in my Modern Mystics monthly class, we listened to Robert Ellsberg, author and feature writer of Blessed Among Us in the monthly prayer guide, Give Us This Day, as he spoke of his friendship and written correspondence with Sr. Wendy Beckett. Sr. Wendy, fondly named the “art nun”, became well known for her books and her BBC series which was her insightful reflections on art and art history. Sr Wendy was a consecrated hermit and her preference was for her life of solitude at a Carmelite monastery in England. Some of Sr. Wendy’s thoughts that Robert shared deeply moved me. Sr. Wendy believed that we can’t plot every point in our lives, we just need to allow Jesus to come alive in our lives. We need to keep looking at God, be held by the love of God and be carried by that love. She said that we flow from God’s being, a breath he breathes.

Today I read a quote, on Facebook, from John O’Donohue, one of my favorite spiritual writers and poets, that read:

“There are no manuals for the construction of the individual you would like to become. You are the only one who can decide this and take up the lifetime of work that it demands. This is a wonderful privilege and such an exciting adventure. To grow into the person that your deepest longing desires is a great blessing. If you can find a creative harmony between your soul and your life, you will have found something infinitely precious. You may not be able to do much about the great problems of the world or to change the situation you are in, but if you can awaken the eternal beauty and light of your soul, you will bring light wherever you go. The gift of life is given to us for ourselves and also to bring peace, courage, and compassion to others.” Excerpt from Eternal Echoes.

So yes, we are the only ones who decide what life we will lead, but the difference I feel, in a life with true meaning, is that we listen to the connection to soul, we become aware of that breath that breathes us, we ask “who am I in relation to God”, what unique work have I been created to do, and we see that God uses all the situations and relationships in our lives to invite us, to trust and grow closer to God, to deeper union.

I would like to spend the next couple of blogs, or perhaps continue with this topic, exploring the great question, Who am I in God and What is God calling me to be, to see, to love in my life? This is the ultimate question in our search for meaning and happiness. This is the journey we all take.

For today I will end with one of my favorite quotes, which I have shared before, by St. Catherine of Siena, Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.

With deep love and gratitude, Deena

Photo: A status of St. Catherine of Siena, Siena Italy

A journey with wild geese

On By dpavinatoIn Doing what we love, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, visual creative journaling2 Comments

Two of my favorite signs of Spring and a new season of growth are the little baby corn sprouts as they begin to emerge in the fields and the two geese and their goslings that appear every year by the retention pond and grass near a local grocery store. Both just make my heart sing; winter is over and Spring is on the way!

In April, our assignment for the monthly visual journal class I am taking, was to determine an animal we wished to draw and research symbolism for the animal. Geese quickly came to mind because I had been checking the pond with each trip to the grocery store, anxiously awaiting the arrival of this year’s family. I researched symbolism for geese and found it quite interesting. Geese represent family, teamwork, loyalty. They are resilient, adaptable, and are determined to weather life’s changes with grace. As a totem they might represent that it may be time to take flight and begin a new journey. Birds in general represent messengers, in Native American and many spiritualities, or that there is a message to pay attention to or watch for. In Christian spirituality they represent Spirit. I learned this week, in a blog I will mention in a bit, that in Celtic Spirituality the goose, rather than a dove, represents the Holy Spirit. In this form, the goose is loud and demands our attention.

Part of my decision was also influenced by one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver, Wild Geese. especially with the lines as the poem ends, “the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” (Written and published in 1986 in her book Dream Work). So with the decision made I found an image to model and prepared for our workshop. The intention for the class was to practice drawing images and then in the “journal” page let our hearts, and creative tools like pens or watercolors, express what the animal is saying to us. I have included, below in this post, the image I selected on Facebook, from a Mary Oliver poetry group, to model and my initial pencil drawings. The journal page is a work in progress.

In May some additional things happened that remind me that the wild geese are still calling for my attention. Last week, on Pentecost Sunday, I attended a virtual retreat by my friend Judith Valente titled “The Spirituality of the Poetry of Mary Oliver”. It was my second time attending this presentation by Judy but there were new insights and treasures as I expected. It was a delight to listen to Mary Oliver read her poem, Wild Geese, in one of the video clips Judy shared. In Oliver’s poetry, Judith reminded us there is a similarity to monastic practice and a consistent theme to be reverently being aware, to pay attention and to be astonished. In all her work, Judith said, there is a wake up call to reflect on who or what is calling us to live joyfully.

Then this week I received the monthly email from Mary DeTurris Poust, with the blog title “Welcoming the Wild Goose”. Mary shared a recent experience giving a retreat in Maryland in which she felt like she was living inside the Mary Oliver poem I mentioned above, “in which the ‘world calls to you like the wild geese — harsh and exciting.'” The honking and distraction of the geese during the entire retreat offered, to Mary, an analogy of Spirit in our lives. She said we often wait for the quiet whisper of Spirit and don’t want the incessant, unrelenting and loud voice of the Holy Spirit calling us to something new. Reflecting on Pentecost, Mary DeTurris Poust asked: “How often do we do just that, push away the loud and insistent call of the Holy Spirit because we don’t like the message or the delivery?” Can we be open to Spirit no matter how we are called? Can we listen and respond even if the message might be asking us to consider something new in our lives? Both Judith’s retreat and Mary’s blog provide additional considerations for my journal page. I begin this journey of bringing May to a close with great questions to ponder regarding how the Spirit might be calling me this summer and beyond.

How do you hear Spirit calling out to you and inviting you to something more?

It doesn’t take long for the corn in the fields around me to establish itself and emerge as long lanky stalks or the goslings to lose their baby cuteness and look more like their “mom and dad”. My spirit loses a bit joy of watching the transition of both as Spring dwindles and Summer begins. While I found the symbolism of the wild geese interesting, I also found it quite telling for this phase I seem to be going through with an intense calling to be seeking something more and find my place in the world. Rather than lose the internal fire for new growth, when life seems to be stagnant or difficult, I can try to be more aware and look for reminders to live life more joyfully.

So, this Memorial Day weekend, the unofficial start of summer, I am grateful to Judith Valente, Mary DeTurris Poust, Mary Oliver and the Wild Geese reminders in my life, to let myself “love what it loves” and continue to look for my place in the “family of things”.

Blog Photo: The geese and their gosling family a couple of years ago

Additional photos below from my Visual Journal pages:

A spirit of love

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Love is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. On this Pentecost Day my prayer is that I open my heart to hold more love, joy, patience… all of the beautiful gifts of the Spirit (Read Galatians 5:16-25 one of the optional readings for Pentecost Sunday). It’s been a week that has challenged those fruits in me. I have thought about what I wanted to write all week but I wanted it to be written in a spirit of love, real love, which is “willing the good of the other”.

I read the reflection in Give Us This Day for today’s Solemnity written by Carolyn Woo, CEO/Catholic Relief Services and dean of the Mendoza College of Business at the University of Notre Dame and was especially moved by these three sentences regarding the apostles experience of Pentecost: “Their proclamation enveloped all in a spirit of love, belonging and oneness. What the people heard and understood was not just some breaking news of the day, a good chat, or rules for success. What they heard was the ‘mighty acts of God’-magnificent creation that included themselves, covenant love that is never broken, forgiveness, redemption, and ultimately reunion with God.”

So why have I been wrestling with my thoughts for today? I am having a difficult time because I want to respond to a limited view of Catholicism shared this week in a commencement address by Harrison Butker at Benedictine College and then debated widely in the news and in social media. I have seen more dissension and vitriol in social media than I can tolerate (and we still have an election coming up this November, I might have to fast from social media!). Initially I found myself responding with disdain rather than wanting to understand all that was included in the address. Once I stepped back, read the address, taking in all the reactions, positive and negative, I pondered when and how it got this bad, that every statement someone makes requires a personal rebuttal, nasty comment, sarcastic meme or hateful statement. Then gospel readings of vocal outbursts between the righteous Pharisees and Saducees came to mind. So maybe the reactions have always been there but are just more noticeable in the constant news and social media frenzy we live with.

I do not object to any person’s freedom of speech and opinion. I did wonder if the college that invited the speaker didn’t have a hidden agenda and expect the attention and backlash that it would cause. I was shocked, however, when the Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, in their response, as the founding institution and a sponsor of the College, received so many argumentative comments to their letter. I find it interesting that people who say they are open to discussion and debate hurl condescending responses when the opinion is different than their own. Is it no longer possible to disagree and turn away?

I am thankful for the many articles written in support of the Benedictine and Christian values that I believe in. I stand in complete solidarity with the Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica and their statement that they are “faithful members of the Catholic Church who embrace and promote the values of the Gospel, St. Benedict, and Vatican II and the teachings of Pope Francis.”

I also listened to Bishop Barron’s Sunday Sermon on YouTube this morning regarding this solemn Feast we celebrate today. Bishop Barron contemplated each of the fruits of the Holy Spirit outlined in the Galatians reading. I would highly recommend listening to it. But one comment stands out, “Love stands at the center of the Church’s life, because that’s what the Holy Spirit is.” In speaking of the fruits of the Spirit, Bishop Barron suggests to pay attention to those things in life, vocations and activities, that give rise to the fruits, and stay close to those. If they don’t, if they bring up the opposite of those, stay away.

In no way am I saying that I take Bishop’s sermon as a validation of my feelings or the “truth” regarding my reaction to the commencement address or the response by the Benedictine Sisters. That answer is for people wiser than me. What I do hear, for me, in a spirit of discernment, is to stay away from the dissension, draw close to things that bring about more love, more joy, more patience. Going back to Carolyn Woo’s quote, look for opinions that are expressed in a “spirit of love, belonging, and oneness.” That, my friends, feels like the truth of the Gospel message that we should seek and ask the Holy Spirit to bless us with.

Lastly I offer most of the Blessing for Pentecost written and shared by poet and author Jan Richardson yesterday on her Facebook page. I highly recommend you read the blessing in its entirety.

Here’s one thing

you must understand

about this blessing:

it is not

for you alone.

It is stubborn

about this.

Do not even try

to lay hold of it

if you are by yourself,

thinking you can carry it

on your own.

To bear this blessing,

you must first take yourself

to a place where everyone

does not look like you

or think like you,

a place where they do not

believe precisely as you believe,

where their thoughts

and ideas and gestures

are not exact echoes

of your own.

Bring your sorrow.

Bring your grief.

Bring your fear.

Bring your weariness,

your pain,

your disgust at how broken

the world is,

how fractured,

how fragmented

by its fighting,

its wars,

its hungers,

its penchant for power,

its ceaseless repetition

of the history it refuses

to rise above.

I will not tell you

this blessing will fix all that.

But in the place

where you have gathered,

wait.

Watch.

Listen.

Lay aside your inability

to be surprised,

your resistance to what you

do not understand…

–

Again from Galatians; “If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.”

I wish you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: A photo from my pilgrimage to Italy. Bernini’s stained glass window “The Dove of the Holy Spirit”.

A call to pause

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

As I prepared to write this, reviewing my notes and ideas, the bells rang calling those attending 10 a.m. Mass to hurry along and, then again, to mark the top of the hour. I hear the bells every day, from my parish church at the end of the block that I live on, but especially now with more windows open and time spent outside attending to my plants. They remind me of the bells at the monastery. They remind me of a call to pause and say a prayer. They remind me of some words of Sr. Joan Chittister in her book, The Monastic Heart, that were also used as part of a reflection a couple of weeks ago in our weekly email update from Sr. Joan.

Joan said, “The purpose of Benedictine bells is not to spell out the hour of the day at all; that task is left to horologists. Our bells, on the other hand, are there to wrench our attention back to what is really important in life: the memory of God in our midst. The memory of the purpose of life. The memory that time is moving on and so must we. The recognition that life today is different than yesterday, and we must not try to hold life back. The bells jog the memory that there are actually more important, more meaningful, more demanding dimensions of life than anything ordinary we can possibly be doing as they ring. The bells stop us in midflight to prod us to ask ourselves again if what we are doing is what we are really meant to be doing.”

It’s true that the bells also call us to remember the great concerns of life, such as caring for the poor and people in need, or comforting the sick or grieving. We must ask whether we aware of the concerns of our brothers and sisters in areas of the world ravaged by war, weather or persecution? But they also cause me to pause and look at what I am doing in the moment, is it important? Does it matter? Am I living my vocation in life?

This week I had several opportunities to pause and slow down, to look at my self-care, nurturing or self-compassion. My friend Kate Brown taught a workshop, “Nurture and Grow: Cultivating Self-Compassion in a Turbulent World.” We considered ways to be more compassionate to ourselves and that in doing so we build a reservoir to compassion to give to others. We discussed being more mindful vs mind full and the importance of finding a community of like-minded individuals that will support and encourage us and then we in turn for each other. We also discussed embracing our imperfections and the importance of accepting ourselves, where and who we are at this moment.

Speaking of imperfections, yesterday was my monthly creative journaling workshop and our topic was “Resistance, Joy and Self-Compassion.” Resistance and judgement in our creative endeavors is definitely the thief of joy! We experimented with drawing ovals, faces and a drawing ourselves from a selfie taken during class. Lisa encouraged us to break resistance by doing a little bit of creative art or journaling every day, to make little promises to ourselves to commit to our creativity. But it can be so hard to find and set aside the time for our own self-nurturing. Am I willing to commit to doing so?

Church, convent and monastery bells have provided this reminder to pause to countless men and women throughout the centuries. For some reason, the bells were a soothing reminder this morning of all of the women who have guided me throughout my life. When I remember my mother on this Mother’s Day, I remember a woman who worked harder than anyone I have ever met. I don’t know what she thought about self-nurturing or self-compassion, we never talked about it, at least not in those words. But I do know while she always gave of herself to others, she also knew how to relax and enjoy herself when the work was done, whether it was Saturday night dinners out with my father, their annual fishing trips to Minnesota or backyard gatherings with friends. I remember my “Noni” (Italian grandmother) and times spent with her, usually in the kitchen or the garden. I recall my aunt, a Franciscan sister, who encouraged me in ways that I didn’t realize fully at the time. The Benedictine sisters who invited me to learn more about the monastic life and community remain important witnesses to me of a life of purpose.

Pause for a few minutes today and consider the women who have influenced you in your life, whether mothers, grandmothers or nurturing women and role-models. Did they offer (or perhaps they are still alive and continue to offer) examples of self-care and compassion? Who does offer that reminder to you? Would you be willing, if you don’t regularly, to take a few minutes each day to find ways to embrace who you are and what you feel you need to live a life that supports your purpose and vision in life? Why not start now!

Wishing you abundant peace and compassion, Deena

Picture: of the bell tower at St. Mary Monastery in Rock Island, Illinois. I am an Oblate of this monastery.

Springing to life

On By dpavinatoIn Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

It’s been a glorious week in Illinois, even with the times of rain, wind and storm. It is feeling like Spring, maybe even late Spring with the warm 70-80 temperatures during the day this week. Everything is growing and lush around my home. The lilacs are close to full bloom, I actually prefer the deep purple they are now. My hostas and perennials are gorgeous. It’s time to start thinking and planning the annuals I will put in pots by the doors and on the patio. I purchased my favorite plant of each year, Ruellia brittoniana (Purple showers or Mexican petunias) which I hope to get in pots today. The fresh air and beautiful blossoming that is springing to life around me reminded me of special days and women that I reflected on this past week.

Last Monday was the Feast of St. Catherine of Siena, Italian mystic, lay Dominican and Doctor of the Church (one of four women Doctors of the Catholic Church). The image I included for this week is a sculpture in Siena that I saw while on pilgrimage. I love it and another statue of St. Catherine we saw because they show her passion and fierce spirit. Most paintings depict Catherine as pale and sickly. It is true she practiced excessive “holy fasting” with a diet that consisted of only water and vegetables and was considered anorexic (anorexic mirabilis or holy anorexic). But Catherine had a strong and bold spirit, bringing about unity of the papacy and convincing the pope to return to Rome after almost a century in France. My favorite quote of St. Catherine, that reflects her passion for following what she believed in is “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” Catherine did this and lived her life with her eyes on God and with Heaven as the goal of her life.

Wednesday was May 1st, May Day or Beltane, one of the cross-quarter days of the Celtic Year. May Day symbolizes Spring to me, regardless of the weather. The sweet images of children bringing May Day baskets of flowers to neighbors symbolizes, to me, our coming outdoors from winter and sharing that joy with our neighbors and friends. May Day also reminds me of St. Hildegard of Bingen. Hildegard, another Doctor of the Church, was a medieval mystic, visionary, writer, herbalist, composer and artist. Hildegard was well-aware of the images of Beltane, the Green Man and used similar language when speaking of God and Earth images as a source of wisdom and power. Hildegard criticized the church, emphasizing that the criticism came from Spirit and not from her own perceptions. But after reviewing her writings and visions, Hildegard was encouraged to write her visions down by church leaders such as the Pope and St. Bernard of Clairvaux. She spoke of the goodness of the earth and God’s “greening power” or Viriditas, verdant “greenness”, and the creative power of life. Hildegard was another woman with deep faith, listening to God’s voice but, not afraid to move outside the constraints of her time on women. She was willing to speak boldly of her belief in the truth God was revealing to her. Similar to St. Catherine, Hildegard challenges us to “Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech…you must be prepared to leap.”

In both of these women I also see their desire and commitment to, as Jesus speaks in the gospel for this Sixth Sunday of Easter, “remain in my love”. Both women, in their own way, remained true to the teachings of the Church but in sharing their wisdom, helped us see the truth of our relationship with God in an expanded way.

So I wondered what “remain in my love” means and how do I live that more fully in my life. Certainly it includes time of prayer and contemplation, listening and surrendering to the Word in the way God is calling me to live it and share my life in God with others. But it isn’t a passive love, it involves going forth, bearing fruit, and loving others. Those become the signs of remaining in God’s love.

I found a new website this morning, CatholicWomenPreach.org with a reflection on the gospel message. Meghan Larsen-Reidy shared that “love stems from a commitment.” She speaks of the commandment to form relationships and challenges us to look at whether we prioritize “the Divine and people over material possessions and appearances.” This commitment, she suggests, changes our actions, how we spend our time, money, how we care for others and for the planet.

Saints Catherine and Hildegard embody that commitment to God, to love, and to changing the world around us by the way we live the gospel invitation to remain in the love of the Divine.

My wish for all of us this week as we relish these days of Spring and new life around us are expressed in St. Hildegard’s poem, Viriditas.. I found this modern translation (fccucc.org) of Hildegard’s words, that keep to the meaning of her words but in a way easier for us to relate to.

Good people, Most royal greening verdancy,

Rooted in the sun,

You shine with radiant light, in this circle of earthly existence.

You shine so finely, it surpasses understanding.

God hugs you. You are encircled by the arms of the mystery of God.

With a grateful heart, Deena

Pruning the vine

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This weekend I am attending an aromatherapy workshop/retreat in Northern Illinois. I stepped away from the evening social to write this so that it can post in the morning when we are in our first session. I was talking to my friend Kathy and said, “I don’t think I want to write about the retreat yet, there has been too much to process and I’m not sure what I want to say yet.’ The introvert in me was tired after a full day of being with others and ready to retire, so I stepped away to the quiet of my room. I opened the gospel reading for the Fifth Sunday of Easter, and saw that it is the discourse on the Vine and the branches. I quickly changed my mind about mentioning the retreat.

Jesus tells us, as he uses the analogy of the Vine and branches, that some pruning is required in order to bear fruit. Pruning will separate away the lifeless and dead parts of the vine plant so that the healthy branches can bear fruit. The rest is gathered together and thrown into the fire. If you have ever had a garden, especially if you have grown zucchini or cucumbers, you know that the vines that grow off the main plant can easily get entangled with weeds or with other plants if not cared for. It’s important to watch as the vines or branches begin to grow and produce fruit. If those branches mingle and get wrapped up in another plant or weed, it is possible that the vines will be choked and that the plant won’t produce the fruit that we desire. Jesus tells us a branch, connected to the Vine, will bear more fruit by pruning away the things we don’t want and by caring for the plant we want to grow and produce abundant fruit. The fruit of sharing the life-giving message of Christ with the world, or at least the world that we interact with, will grow with the same attention and proper care as we need to tend our gardens. If we ignore and hope for the best, we probably won’t accomplish the desired outcome.

Meditation and reflection on the Word of God is an important part of making sure we remain connected to that Truth. As a Benedictine Oblate, that daily reflection with the Word is called Lectio Divina, which I have talked about in previous posts. It is by reading, listening and reflecting on the Word that we open our hearts and minds to hear what God has to say to us, what gifts we should use and sometimes, where we should be using those gifts.

As I returned to my room and reflected on a day full of suggestions about self-compassion, rest and mindfulness, care and releasing the negative burdens of the past to make room for a life of joy and bringing that joy and light to others, I thought yes, this too is part of the pruning. Jesus often stepped away from his disciples and others to pray and connect with God, before or after doing his work in the world. That stepping away was life-giving to him as it can be to us.

During Lent I was more intentional in talking about, and integrating in my life, time for prayer, creating a sacred space for prayer, setting aside activities that are not life-giving and making time for the things that are, entering the cave of the heart to be able to listen and discern. I have wondered all weekend why those were activities I was more intentional about during Lent have faded into the background, and have seemed to be overtaken and strangled by weeds of busyness and disordered passions.

Why is it so hard to step away, to spend a few minutes in silence and self care, in order to connect more deeply with the Source of all things? Why will we say yes to endless requests from others but say no to ourselves when we need to nourish and fill our spirit with just a few minutes that might help us listen and respond to that which is most important? When will we realize just how life-giving that time is, and that replenished and nourished, we are able to be a better vehicle of love and light in the world?

Another retreat participant and I took a few minutes after lunch to walk to Stronghold Castle here on the grounds of the Stronghold Camp and Retreat Center. We found bluebells layering the ground on both sides of the path, we listened to the waters of the Rock River just beyond the castle, and our conversation was interrupted by the loud and persistent jabbing of a woodpecker hidden in the tall trees. We allowed ourselves to be renewed by the healing energy of nature and it only took us about 15 minutes!

Take a few minutes today and try to do the same, be nourished by a walk, ponder looking out the window, take a short nap, read the gospel reading cited above regarding the Vine and the branches, and in those activities, connect to God, the source of all goodness. Find time to step away from the routine activities of your day, even if it’s just for 15 minutes.

Be still and listen with hearts and ears open to hear and receive.

May you find abundant peace in your day! Deena

Image: a photo I took at Stronghold Camp and Retreat Center

The light of hope

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Life in the Spirit, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. Desmond Tutu

I have been thinking about hope this week.

Easter is a season of hope. Hope at a deep level, a spiritual level. Hope is the second theological virtue, as opposed to a fruit or gift of the Holy Spirit. It allows us to trust and protects us from despair. But as with all gifts, we must accept it and make it a deliberate part of our lives.

It isn’t hope that a project turns out well or that my plants weren’t impacted by the frost last night. It isn’t hope that the weather will be nice next weekend, and that everything works out, for my friends Kate and Kathy as they host an aromatherapy retreat that I will be attending next weekend. It isn’t hope that the Chicago Cubs win again today. Although those are all great things to hope for! Perhaps they are hope at the level of a wish or a desire for a positive outcome.

Instead I think true hope is faith-filled. It is a trust in the promise of the Resurrection, that my Aunt Gina, who passed away this week, is now at peace and will be reunited with my Uncle Bill. I have hope that peace and justice ultimately triumph over violence and war. I hope that we will wake up and see what we are doing to the planet and begin to treat the earth with respect and love for the gift we have been given. I have hope in God’s love and mercy for all.

Christian author and speaker, Kate Bowler, has a new series, Words to Live By, on the Ritual – Wellbeing Practices app. I listened to her reflection on Hope a couple of times this week. I enjoy her books, her podcast and now these reflections because she looks at life as it really is, the “beautiful and terrible” of it all (Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day! Daily Meditations for the Ups, Downs and In-Between). I was captivated by a quote, by Martin Luther, that she referred to. “Hope changes the one who hopes into what is hoped for.” If we allow hope to change us, we then “lean into a possible future we can’t see yet.”

If I hope for peace, I become more peaceful in my own interactions with others. If I hope for and care for creation, then I make an attempt, in my own small way, to be more conscious of how I use resources, I recycle and buy less plastic. If I trust in God’s love and mercy for me, then I attempt to offer that love and forgiveness to others. I know I won’t do it perfectly but if I hope to see those things in the world, then I must be an active participant in bringing them about.

So I ask, as Kate did ending her reflection, ‘How well do we actively try to find hope in the world? Do we attempt to listen to its whisper and turn down the dial on fear?’

“Blessed are we when we make room for all of it.” (I also recommend Kate’s book of blessings, The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Peace to you and days filled with hope, Deena

Image: Picture of a stone mosaic I took during a visit to a monastery.

PS. Before I started writing today’s blog, I looked back at a post last year, in the season of Easter, “Hold on to hope”. If you would like to read it and reflect further on hope, click the image below.

Hold on to hope

Human dignity and the rights of all

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

The gospel reading for Saturday in the Second Week of Easter is from the Acts of the Apostles and describes the needs of the growing church and the selection of individuals to assist in the cause of the distribution of goods to those in need, in the case of this scripture reading, widows.

Earlier this week, the Vatican released a final version of the Declaration of the Doctrine of Faith “Dignitas Infinita” on Human Dignity. I read it through a couple of times but need to spend more time with it in prayer and study. It occurred to me, upon reading Saturday morning’s scripture, that from the earliest days of the small community following the teachings of Jesus there has been concern and a need to respond to the needs of others.

Pope Francis requested the additional drafts of Dignitas Infinita because additional attention was needed to address the violation of human rights, in light of his Encyclical Fratelli Tutti in which he stressed the dignity of all persons “beyond all circumstances” and summoned all of us to defend human dignity “regardless of physical, psychological, social, or even moral deficiencies.”

The Declaration provides a biblical foundation for, theological perspective and the position of the Church on human dignity. We see countless examples in the gospel writings where Jesus responds to and elevates the dignity of each person he encounters. We should all follow this example with the same respect for the dignity and needs of each person we encounter in life.

The Declaration is a rich study of the Church’s recognition of the dignity of every person. It also acknowledges grave violations in various forms (not claiming to be a comprehensive list) such as poverty, war, the migrant issue, human trafficking, sexual abuse, violence against women, abortion, surrogacy, euthanasia and assisted suicide, marginalization of people with disabilities, gender theory and sex change, and digital violence. It is a helpful explanation of the Church’s position and I would encourage the document be read in totality versus bits and pieces that the media may choose for any specific agenda.

As mentioned, I need to spend more time studying it, but regardless of my opinions, it is an beneficial attempt by Pope Francis and the Roman Curia to continue to bring the needs of all peoples and situations impacting the dignity of each person to our attention, inviting us all to fight for the protection of that dignity and remember our own, a dignity no one can take from us.

I encourage you to read the Declaration, and whether you agree or not, be well-informed when speaking about the Church’s position for each of these concerns. Let’s also be sure that in any discussion, we support and maintain the dignity of each person whose opinion might be different than our own. We certainly are in need of a lot more of that these days!

In love and mutual respect, Deena

Image: From my trip to Italy, art at the Vatican, Jesus gives the keys to Peter.