Category: Benedictine Oblate

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!

Duc in altum

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, sacred listening, sacred waiting, season of change, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

A little over three years ago I was discerning whether a part-time role on a virtual ministry team was the right opportunity for me. Since the ministry was founded by an author that I had read, I picked up Becky Eldredge’s book, The Inner Chapel, to read it again and get familiar with the person I was considering working for. Early in her book (Chapter 2 “Spiritual Growth is like Stepping into the Ocean”), Becky shared an image of her children at the ocean’s edge with varying degrees of confidence to enter the water to swim and play. Her eldest child was brave and ready to run headlong into the water. Her middle child was curious, ready to explore but more tentative about how deep she wanted the water around her to be. The youngest child was reluctant, initially, but then willing to play in the water but safely at the water’s edge.

As St. Ignatius, in the Spiritual Exercises, encourages us to do in prayer, I closed my eyes and entered a prayerful contemplation of standing at the ocean’s edge, considering my own desire after years of corporate work to go deeper in my journey of faith and to discover whether it was time to consider a role that would combine my skills at work and my desire to help others on their faith journeys. I saw myself walking confidently in the water but stopping with the water around my neck and my feet firmly planted on the sand beneath me. I felt safe but surrounded by the water with an occasional splash of a wave in my face. As I opened my eyes in the contemplation I saw Jesus ahead of me, deeper in the waters. With a curled index finger, he looked at me lovingly and said, “come deeper”. I paused, reluctant to move past the security of the footing I had beneath me. I looked at his eyes again, that inviting finger urging me forward, and I began to go deeper, keeping myself afloat with the support of the spiritual waters of grace. That imaginative prayer became my sign that it was time to move forward in faith. I was offered the position and accepted it, beginning a three year journey of ministry work.

A couple of weeks ago I prayed an Ignatian contemplation with Luke’s version (Luke 5: 1-11) of Jesus’ calling of the apostles. The apostles had been out fishing all night but Jesus sees them, coming back empty-handed, and invites them to cast their nets out again, on the other side of their boat. They are reluctant at first, even challenging Jesus, but cast their nets and bring in a huge haul of fish. They marvel at the miracle, express their faith, and begin their ministry life of following Jesus. As I prayed with this scripture, I heard Jesus invite me to cast my net, to “put out into the deep” (the meaning of the Latin words Duc in Altum), and not to be afraid.

Decision making and listening to the will of God in our lives isn’t always easy. We have our individual will and freedom, God will never ask that of us. But if we want to go deeper in our faith lives and relationship with God, we have to be willing to risk the unknown. Sometimes it might be an invitation just to enter the water a bit more, moving from ankle deep to knee deep waters. Sometimes it is casting a net in faith, unaware of the catch we will bring in. But always, always, Jesus is there to encourage us and let us know that we do not walk, or swim, alone.

Is there an invitation from God you have been hearing? Is it still a whisper or has God’s voice been beckoning louder? I offer these images of standing at the water’s edge, or hearing Jesus ask you to cast your net, for your prayer and consideration. Be willing to hear the invitation. You don’t have to rush, but if you listen, your life might never be the same!

Duc in altum, do not be afraid!

Wishing you abundance peace, Deena

Photo: one of the families on our Italy pilgrimage exploring the ocean edge in Nettuno.

Coming home to myself

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

I traveled as part of my job as a sales operations manager for a corporation before retiring. Most of my customers were on the west coast so it was almost always air travel from O’Hare Airport versus a car trip. As I returned from each business trip, traveling on interstates 294 and 55 then on to I80 which crosses Illinois from east to west, I would literally feel the tension in my body diminishing once I got past the distribution centers on 80 heading west toward the “Illinois Valley”. As I left the crowded industrial areas and began to see the corn and bean fields, even in the winter with no plants growing, I could breathe again. I knew I was headed home.

Lately I have felt a congestion in my spirit, much like traveling in those suburban areas near the airport. I let worrying about personal responsibilities and working too many hours fan a flame within. It was certainly my choice to work more due to some circumstances and tasks that needed to be completed for the ministry work I do. Regarding personal concerns, I know that worrying about life doesn’t change the circumstance but somehow I keep revisiting the concerns as if the more I think about it the more likely it will change. But like the taper that I use to put out the candles after Saturday Vigil Masses at my parish, I was slowly putting out a light within.

This week a friend and I returned to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, Il to see the colors of Fall in the lush gardens. The minute we set foot on the path leaving the Welcome Center, I took a deep breath of the cool Fall air, the smell of wood and leaves, and felt my body relax again. I relaxed to a place within that I hadn’t felt in months. We crossed the Giboshi Bridge, also called the “devotion bridge”, the Alaskan yellow cedar bridge with giboshi black finials on the posts, recently renovated, with the intention of leaving the dust of the world behind, as recommended by our docent during our visit in June. The trees, colors of the leaves, occasional mum in pots, the ducks and geese in the ponds, and the flowing waters helped bring about a sense of inner peace and contentment.

Later in the week I attended a discussion meeting, with other Benedictine Oblates, at the monastery of the Sisters of St. Benedict at St. Mary Monastery. We were discussing the process of invitation and formation of oblates to our Benedictine Oblate community. There are 25,000 Benedictine Oblates worldwide, each of us associated with specific monasteries or communities. Our monastery oblate groups are located within 7 locations in Central Illinois and Indiana. As the number of sisters at the monastery decreases, and the sisters age, we discussed how important it was to begin to take on the responsibilities of inviting new people to consider the oblate life of prayer and study. We acknowledged statistics that reflect a growing desire in men and women to find spiritual support and meaning beyond parish life. As we discussed our Benedictine values, and the oblate life we are committed to, again I felt a serenity within.

On the evening of the full “supermoon” this week, I shared an article on my personal Facebook page written by Brother Guy Consolmagno SJ, Director of the Vatican Observatory. Brother Guy recommended a daily practice of looking at the heavens each evening, even if just for a few minutes. He stated that by doing so we become attuned to the natural rhythms of our world and cosmos and are reminded of something greater than ourselves. But I would add that we also begin to sense our place in a greater purpose and reason for being. As I stepped outside after reading the article I gazed up at the gorgeous moon shining brightly in the evening sky and once again, I felt at home within. I felt peace and contentment. I felt alive.

This week I invite you to consider the times and places that you feel that you come home to yourself, places that you know you are being and in touch with your true authentic self and your relationship with God. If you haven’t been visiting those places, or doing things that make you feel alive in your spirit, what might you do so that you experience it again? It just might be as simple as looking at gorgeous Fall colors and breathing deeply!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: The Giboshi Bridge at Anderson Japanese Gardens in October. I shared a photo of the bridge earlier this year in a post. The Fall colors beyond the bridge were stunning.

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL

Transformed hearts

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Have you ever shared with someone a health condition or that you weren’t feeling well, only to hear in response – yes I have had that too, only their illness was worse, longer, required more treatment, etc. Perhaps you were talking with a friend about a busy time in life and then they replied with their situation which is busier, more intense and requires more than your situation. You may have actually been the person that responded in that way, we all do it. When I reflect on times that I was the person listening and responding, I believe it was, in most cases, an attempt to show empathy and compassion for what the person is going through but afterwards reflected that I could have acknowledged their feelings without adding my own example.

Today’s first reading and gospel for the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time reminded me of those times of oneupmanship in life. In the first reading, the elders complain to Moses that two men who weren’t at a gathering where God bestowed the spirit upon them to prophesy were prophesying in the camp anyway. They were among the seventy elders but they didn’t follow the protocol of attending the gathering. The spirit was upon them regardless and Moses corrected the others by saying that he wished all the people were prophets and questioned their jealousy for the two men. Then in the gospel reading the apostles complained to Jesus that there were people driving out demons in Jesus’ name but weren’t part of the in group of followers. Jesus then uses it as a teaching lesson for his apostles and followers. Jesus broadened their sense of who is included and who belongs to him as a follower.

I also reflected on meetings that I attended, or comments made by someone, showed the need for a person to be in charge or make sure others know of their involvement was a critical part of making something happen. The reality is very little of what we do is on our own. First of all, it is the grace of Spirit of God that inspires us. Also, others are involved in helping us and ideas we read along the way contributed to the concept we are sharing or the work we are doing. I think of the number of things I listened to or read last night and this morning that helped with my reflection on these weekly readings. Everything I think and share is a synthesis, albeit through my personal experience, of the thoughts of those wiser than me. The Rule of St. Benedict, in Chapter 7 on Humility, reminds me that every exaltation is a kind of pride. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be proud of our accomplishments, or acknowledge them in appropriate situations, but that we check our intentions before we do so.

I immediately thought of my photo for today’s blog as I reflected on the readings this morning and what I might share with all of you. The flowers in the garden don’t compete and say I worked harder to be this color, or I grew taller than you, and they do not try to stand out above the others. They just express the beauty of their being.

I would love to be more like these flowers!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Listening to hear

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I love crafting; making cards, playing with mixed media projects and dabbling with painting supplies. Sometimes an idea comes to me and I create it with ease but often I need inspiration from others. I will turn to crafting videos on YouTube by “makers” like Jennifer McGuire, Tim Holtz, Nichol Spoor, Nina Marie Traponi, Mindy Eggen and so many others to watch them as they express their immense creativity. A technique they share or a card idea created in the video helps me take a product I have and create something in my style or with my vision. Seeing what others, and listening to how and why they are using a technique, help me learn the craft and put my hands to work trying different techniques.

Early Saturday morning for my prayer time, I turned to a new podcast Wonder with the Word produced by God In All Things. The podcast was an Ignatian Contemplation (reading a scripture and then placing yourself in the scene) for children and young adults or “the childlike”, “exploring the gospels through the power of imagination and curiosity”. The podcast was recorded earlier this week so it didn’t occur to me, I hadn’t done my preparation before Vigil Mass, that it was the gospel for this weekend. The gospel of Mark 7: 31-37 is the scene with Jesus, the apostles, and the people following Jesus, bringing the deaf man to him for healing. With simple prompts, we were invited to enter the scene and watch the interactions that unfolded. I observed the people begging Jesus to lay his hands upon the deaf man, then Jesus pulling the man away from the crowd and healing him.

I considered two things in my reflection after praying with the scripture. First, Jesus pulled the man aside. I don’t think it was to hide what he was going to do from others, Jesus knew they would be watching. Rather I felt that Jesus had compassion on the man. He knew that once the man heard, if still among the people gathered, there might be the sudden shock of many voices and cheers once he revealed that he could now hear. Jesus wanted him to gently enter the world of sound again. Second, I reflected that to hear the Word of God we need to step away, to the quiet, each day to clearly hear God speaking to us. Whether we are simply reading scripture, practicing Lectio Divina, prayerfully repeating scripture and sharing our prayer with God, or Ignatian Contemplation, placing ourselves in the scene to see and hear what God has to reveal to us during the time of prayer, we need the quiet time to reflect on the Word. I heard the invitation from God to be sure to continue to set aside my daily prayer to listen and hear God speak to me.

I attended Saturday Vigil Mass and hearing the Gospel proclaimed, I entered deeper and listened more attentively as Fr. Carlson shared a similar reflection that words help us express spiritual realities and to communicate ourselves to others. We need language to share ourselves, on a real level, with the words we share. God also communicates to us in the Word. That is the reason that we listen to the Liturgy of the Word each Sunday as part of Mass, or as other congregations do each weekend. He reminded us to be open and attentive to the Word of God, to spend some time in silent prayer and meditation, shutting out useless noise. We need to go to be alone with the Lord so that he can open our ears.

As a Benedictine Oblate, in the Prologue of The Rule, we are invited to listen with the ear of the heart. Daily Lectio, or prayerfully reflecting on a scripture passage, is an important part of daily life. We are reminded to be receptive and open before we are active in the tasks of each day.

Then early this morning, listening to Bishop Barron’s sermon on the Gospel, he shared the rich background and insight typical in his Sunday Sermons on YouTube. The word “Ephphatha” means “be open”. Jesus was opening the man’s ears to hear but also reminds us to be open to hearing the Word of God, not to shut it out or off. It’s as if Jesus by placing his fingers in the man’s ears unplugs them, opens them to hearing again.

Jesus, Word made flesh, words we hear spoken from God, reminds us to do the same, in our busy lives and secular society. In most cases it won’t remind us to stop and listen to what God is calling us to. It won’t tell us listening to God is more important that listening to what the world says is important. In some cases it might even try to embarrass or chastise us for trying to hear a deeper calling. Don’t stop, don’t let it. Take time to listen each day. Spend a few minutes reading a scripture. There are plenty of great devotional books with daily scripture, but don’t just read the words. Read the scripture, pause, and listen to what God might have to say to you, what God might be inviting you to do. It might just surprise you!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Bronze angels in the Garden of Reflection at Anderson Gardens in Rockford, IL.

Turning of time

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

The school children in our area are back to school. There are holiday movies on TV and halloween decorations have been emerging in the marketplace. I have to admit I have picked up a couple of Fall items already and I look forward to unpacking some of the seasonal items that I bring out each year. I am ready to switch colors in the house and bring out my favorite orange/pumpkin, yellows, tans and browns. Sunflowers, mums and chrysanthemums will soon be replacing the brighter pinks and purples in the flower pots. I can’t wait to see the leaves change on the trees. I usually want to linger there longer than the season lasts though. If I had my wish it would start earlier, replacing those excessive heat days that always seem to come when the children are attending full days during September, and last until early December when I am ready to switch gears, slowly reflect on the season of Advent and prepare for Christmas.

But nature doesn’t wait to hear our desires for the year. It simply moves on.

Sunday, August 18 marks another moving on of time for me, another year around the sun. One of my favorite traditions, borrowed from Dr. Troy Amdahl, of OolaLife.com is to move a marble from one jar to another to mark the passing of another year. I added a step of placing the new marble for the year, representing all the opportunities and experiences the year will hold, in a small glass holder in the middle. The full jar represents each of the years I have lived so far. I have to admit when I decided on the number of marbles to put in the future jar many years ago it seemed as though I had plenty. The jar is looking pretty empty right now! I’ve got time, hopefully lots of it, to decide when to replenish the jar on the right and how many marbles to add.

My marble is a visual reminder each morning when I wake that I have been gifted with another day and that this day is the only day that matters, the only day to focus on (or at least give it our best shot!). It’s good to set goals and think about the future. If you know me, you know I love to do that! However, what we do with the day we have been given is what matters!

I am blessed with a wonderful family, good friends, a supportive parish, the Monastery and my Oblate community, and an abundant number of spiritual guides and mentors. I am grateful for my job at Ignatian Ministries and the work we do accompanying others on their spiritual journeys. Even though I have items on my wish life and places I hope to visit, I have everything that I need in life. I am extremely grateful for all of it!

This week I used a blessing from Macrina Weideker from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day for our team meeting. I had the opportunity to meet Macrina and spend a joyous dinner with her, during an Oblate conference. She was a person who was present to and enjoyed the hours of her day. Some of my favorite lines from the section on the Hour of Illumination and the short prayer, O Warmth and Energy of the Sun are “Renew my commitment to the tasks of this day. Lead me to my courage…Enliven my growing moments.” So if there is anything I ask for this year it is enliven the growing moments in my life and be led to my courage, to stand in my wisdom and to be more of the person that God calls me to be.

Join me in celebrating this once in a lifetime, brand new day, that each of us have been given today, whether it is your birthday or not. Live it to the best of your ability. Appreciate the gifts you have been given. Deena

Note: I edit and schedule the blog posts for our Into the Deep blog for Ignatian Ministries. This week I was also a writer, which I have done a couple of times a year. Visit our blog Sunday night after 6 p.m. to read my post or go to the website and subscribe to receive our blogs in an email each week on Monday morning. We have amazing writers and each of the articles in our various series will share insights and will “accompany you into deeper waters of faith.”

Photo: My marble jars

Listening with the heart

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, praying for peace, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This week Benedictine communities, and Oblates like me, celebrated the Feast of St. Benedict, Father of Western Monasticism. Probably one of the most famous quotes, from the Prologue of The Rule of St. Benedict, is “Listen carefully, to my instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart.” The Rule, written in 530, is a small guide for monastic living. It not only provided guidelines and instructions for the early monks following St. Benedict but continues to be read daily in monasteries and by those choosing to follow a monastic way of living. It is a guide to life as much as it is a guide of the daily activities of monastic communities. In his instruction to “listen with the ear of the heart”, Benedict wisely instructs us to pray and to listen to the Holy Word in daily Lectio Divina. It’s an inward listening as much as it is listening to words said aloud to one another.

In a reflection for this week’s Sunday Gospel in Give Us This Day, an excerpt from E. Jane Rutter’ Seasons of the Spirit: Reflections on Finding God in Daily Life, reminds us that the message of Christianity is to ‘Love others and pass along the message of joy’. She states that we “teach the message in many ways, not all of us through words.” As we listened to Mark’s Gospel as Jesus sends out the twelve apostles (Mark 6: 7-13) it’s clear that Jesus is sending them on the first evangelization mission of healing and sharing the Good News they have been learning. It’s also clear that Jesus knows they won’t be accepted every place they go. If they aren’t, he advised them to “leave” and “shake the dust off your feet”.

I am not going to say a lot about yesterday’s tragic events in Pennsylvania, there are plenty of excellent commentaries about the need for peace at this volatile time in our country and world. Surely there is plenty on the news but I find I need check in for updates and then walk away. It doesn’t serve me to listen to the endless negativity and blame that didn’t take long to surface. One of the best articles that I have read so far is Maria Shriver’s The Sunday Paper. Maria speaks from a voice of experience of violence against political leaders, witnessing the assassination of two uncles, but also from a voice of reason and wisdom. There are so many attempts to create chaos and division. We need to pause, we need to calm down, we need to listen.

I do not care what your political views are, you are entitled to them, as I am to mine. Frankly neither political party is serving our country at the moment. There is too much anger and divisive language. I am grateful he is safe and am praying for Former President Trump and his family but even more so for the innocent people who were exercising their right to attend a rally. No one, I don’t care how much we agree or disagree with a person, should be shot for their beliefs. However, raising a fist and yelling “fight” isn’t going to help the situation.

This week I listened to a webinar by Fr. Timothy Radcliffe, OP on The Spirituality of Listening. His latest book, Listening Together: Meditations on Synodality, was released this Spring. Fr. Radcliffe has messages that ring true in life, as well as the Church. One statement that he made has been on my mind all week, and certainly today. He said “We’re not very good at disagreeing but the flourishing of society depends on it.” He talked about the pleasure of disagreement and the opportunity to see things in new ways. He suggested that our first response should be, “I wonder if you’re right or how you might be right?” As we ask questions of the other we are dialoguing with, we seek different answers, we learn and go deeper. Wouldn’t that be an excellent model for discussion and decision making in our country?

My favorite section of The Rule, mentioned at the beginning of this blog post, is Chapter 4, The Tools for Good Works. There is sound guidance on the way we treat each other, to monitor foolish chatter or ill speech toward another, for holy listening and reading, and for temperance in responding to the urges of self-will. In a few short paragraphs I have a summary for living that is probably very much like the message the apostles heard as Jesus sent them forth, simple but profound, neither of which speak of anger or violence towards another. Let that be our model.

Praying for peace, Deena

Image from a side chapel at St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island IL.

Ever growing desire

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

My niece’s daughter, Genevieve, is going to be 6 this week. She loves to play, craft and create. She really loves her Legos! Last year she worked on a Cinderella castle for ages 12+. It took her a little while longer than her normal creations but I believe she was done in less than a week. The kits for children her age are done in no time. She began with the smaller combinations of regular pieces, then advanced to the small kits with specific designs and now loves the more challenging ones. She gained one level of skill and then advanced to the next, desiring to learn and do more.

As we bring June to a close today, I would like to talk once more about the topic of Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Then I will pause it, at least for a while. A few people commented to me, after reading the past few blogs, that they really hoped I found what I was searching for, that it seemed I was really searching for something in my life. I guess on some level I always have been and will likely continue to be searching for deeper meaning and greater depths of understanding in my life. But it is more like peeling back layers of an onion or going deeper into the middle of a spiral. At Ignatian Ministries, we refer to that as “called deeper together”, to go beyond the shallow waters and into the deep waters of faith.

We don’t get a Catholic education in grade school, or as CCD students, and then stay at that level of understanding all of our lives. At least I hope we don’t. Genevieve would quickly be bored with working on Lego kits at a level for 5 year olds. Go to church or not, I believe it’s an important aspect of faith and community, you will be bored with your faith if you stay at a grade school understanding of it. Growth happens as we look for new ways to understand the Mystery of God and its meaning in our lives.

The practice of Lectio Divina, sacred and prayerful reading of scripture, is part of my Benedictine Oblate practice. Listening to and reflecting on the Living Word of God in scripture each day, and our additional study, whether in books, retreats or more structured study programs, should take us deeper and deeper in our understanding of who God is calling us to be in life. We go deeper into that spiral, finding new meaning, based on the desires of our heart and the circumstances in our lives.

I love the First Principle and Foundation of Ignatian Spirituality, to live with God forever, but the depth of the spirituality comes in daily prayer, daily examen and discernment. It is an ongoing process. God loves each of us, uniquely and passionately, where we are in our state in life. It doesn’t matter if someone else is further along or has a greater depth of understanding. We are where we are, with all of our desires and situations, and God wants to meet us there.

Go ahead, touch the tassel of Jesus’ garment today, (today’s Gospel reading is Mark 5: 21-43) let him turn to you and talk to you. Have a conversation regarding who you are and what you are called to be and to see, right now, today. Keep having those conversations, they will change over time, as you do!

Wishing you overflowing peace today, Deena

Image: Sen on Unsplash

A discerning spirit

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, discernment, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

On Friday I was chatting with Becky, the founder of Ignatian Ministries, the non-profit Ignatian virtual ministry that I work for. I shared with her a decision that I am holding and how I have been wavering as I decide the right thing to do. She reminded me to use the four steps of discernment, as we do with everything we do in our ministry. Ignatian discernment is not decision making from a strictly rational or practical perspective. It is noticing the movements of our heart and soul. All of who we are, our thoughts, feelings and emotions, are part of what we notice and bring to awareness as we use those insights to decide where God is leading us. Sometimes it is quick but often it will take time to really listen and notice how we feel as we consider the options we have in front of us.

As I continue to consider Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? in my personal life and in this blog for the past four weeks, discernment must play an important part in answering those questions. I thought about that as I read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper this morning. She asked poignant questions after reading the final words of someone who had died, preparing those words before her passing, and after a trip to Asia to see one of her children working in Thailand. Maria asked: “What does it take to love the life we’ve been given? What does it take to be joyful, to feel we have enough, or even to feel like we won the lottery?” My personal answers to those questions have been becoming more clear lately but I acknowledge it is a process and I know that there is something that I need to do, in the near future, that will continue to bring clarity to my answers. What I do know, at this point, is that those answers lie in knowing our purpose in life.

I also believe that finding the answers, at least long term and deeply fulfilling answers, come from where we turn for them. Oh sure, people can find answers in living day to day and acquiring all the relationships and things in the world that they want but all you have to do is look at the current state of things in our world to know those don’t bring deep satisfaction.

Doing some research for a workshop I am helping to teach tomorrow night, John Hopkins reported, in their Mental Health Statistics (2024), that 18% of people ages 18-54 will have an anxiety disorder, 9.5% of American Adults ages 18 or over will suffer an illness labeled as depression (not just having a bad day, another study indicated that it means feeling depressed each day for two weeks or more) and 26% percent of Americans will be diagnosed with a mental health disorder every year. Those numbers are staggering to me! I think it gives us some indication that as Americans something is missing in our lives.

As I listened to two different reflections this weekend on today’s Gospel reading of Jesus calming the storm at sea (Fr. Carlson, my pastor at Holy Family Parish, and you know my other favorite, Bishop Barron!) both indicated each in their own way, Jesus is waiting for us to rouse him to help as we navigate the decisions and storms in life. If we continue to let Jesus sleep in the boat, if we attempt to go it alone, then we cannot expect the tranquility that the Christ can bring to our lives. In prayer and with prayer, I can invite Christ into the inner cave of the heart where I know and can find the answers and peace that I desire in life.

Are there storms you are navigating? Are there questions you are holding and just can’t seem to decide what to do? Do you have peace with your purpose and place in life? If not, maybe finding a new way to approach the answers, turning to prayer and discernment, just might be an option to try.

To learn more about Ignatian Spirituality, discernment and prayer follow our blog, Into the Deep, which I post weekly and also write for, as well as our upcoming retreats and courses. You can also read more about using discernment in your life by accessing the free prayer resource, The Four Steps of Discernment written by Becky Eldredge.

Photo: seaside port of Cascais, Portugal taken during my 2015 pilgrimage to Spain and Portugal