Category: Daily Prayer

A family to turn to in all things

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, sacred listening, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

After a busy week of finishing baking and gifts, family gatherings and Christmas, I watched the BBC version on The Nativity on Saturday evening. This version took a lot of poetic license with the scriptures and I can’t say that I was pleased with their depiction of Joseph and his rejection of Mary but still, I was moved by all the various dynamics of family life, the travel of Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem and the journey of the Magi. I am currently praying with a 10-day Ignatian Christmastide Retreat and scenes like those depicted in the series certainly help with my imaginative prayer of the Holy Family and their experiences. It’s easy to romanticize all that unfolded for Joseph and Mary, like a storybook we’ve read a hundred times, everything easy and coordinated. This year I have found it helpful to see Jesus as a child, in need of the care of others, born to a couple who were faced with difficult decisions and less than perfect circumstances. Jesus comes in his littleness and models for us “how we are live in a relationship with him. We are invited to come to him in our poverty, weakness and littleness.” (Encountering Emmanuel, Heather Khym)

I hear a plane overhead as I write this, easily heard in the thick cloud cover of the day, and say a silent prayer for all those traveling today from family gatherings and heading back home to their own family lives and work. It was a joy to spend time with my extended family and to see the many pictures friends posted of their own Christmas celebrations. Having chosen a single contemplative life though, the holidays are different. There are certain events and experiences, invited and included or not, that aren’t the same without your own family and children. There is a distance and separation that can’t be filled, try as you might. Having lost both of my parents, it is a little like being orphaned, alone in the world. Most days I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. But holidays always bring a certain bit of melancholy for times past and sadness, missing loved ones.

On Christmas Eve, when Pope Francis opened the Holy Doors in Rome, we began a Jubilee Year of Hope. Pope Francis reminded us that hope is there for us (Spes non confundit – Bull of Indiction for the Jubilee Year of Hope). Yes, we will still worry and have times that hope feels hard to hold on to, but within each of us there lives hope. Hope that inspires each of us to look up and believe that there is more and can be more, more than this broken world and the challenges it presents. It is a hope that we carry with us, every day, despite the things that are happening in our lives and the world. It is a hope that isn’t about “happy endings” but a hope that calls us to be pilgrims of light even in the darkness, pilgrims willing to share the reason for our hope, especially to those who are feeling they have little hope to cling to. A hope that is shared with others reaches out to them as people of worthy of dignity and honor, a family sharing the Love of Christ.

Today’s Feast of the Holy Family celebrates the families that we belong to biological and spiritual. This spiritual family models for us love, respect, dignity and contemplation. My desire for this Jubilee Year is to have hope and share hope. When it is difficult I know I can look to the “supreme witness” (Spes non confundit) of hope, Mary, as Mother of God and our mother for guidance. Under her various titles, Undoer of Knots, Mother of Good Counsel, Morning Star, and so on, Mary’s mantle is large enough to encircle and protect us, to point us to the reason for her hope.

Whether your tribe is big or small, local or distant, close-knit and affectionate or detached, there is a Holy Family to which you will always be a member of. On this Feast and on the Solemnity of Mary, New Year’s Day, I invite you to reflect and spend time with this Family. You are loved here. As Sr. Miriam James says as each week with her podcast, Abiding Together, “welcome home”.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: Our Holy Family window at Holy Family Church

Advent 4th Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Uncategorized, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Advent is the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth (Luke 1: 39-45). It may be my favorite passage in the New Testament, if not, definitely in the top 5. Once we get to Easter, then the encounter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene feels like my favorite. Here is what I know for sure, each of the New Testament scriptures that touch me most deeply are gospels of encounter.

The image I selected today was a postcard given to me by my pastor, Fr. Tony, in the early years of my adult faith formation. I was beginning to seriously consider what I was being called to do and be in life, what following Jesus means and reflecting on my Catholic faith honestly, all the aspects, worthy and true and sadly, not so admirable. I was considering different ministries and religious communities at the time and we talked about the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth and the opportunities of ministering to other women. This postcard depicts an icon titled “Mary visits Elizabeth” (1984) painted by Sr. Joan Tuberty. I love that their skin tones are darker, as women of the Middle East. I love the soulful gaze of each woman, eye to eye, peering deep, seeing a truth, deeper than the eye can see. In a community newsletter, Sr Joan, an accomplished iconographer, said “Icons are scripture visualized and companions for our spiritual journey.” This icon has been a companion on my journey the past 30 years.

As we end our Advent journey, today and tomorrow, rather than write a reflection for you, I invite you to sit with this icon, or another image that speaks to you, of the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth realizes who she is encountering in Mary. We wait with peace, hope, joy and love in the only One who can transform our lives and give meaning. Yes, the gathering and celebrations are wonderful. I anticipate the excitement of my niece’s children as they open their gifts. But cliche as it is, there is only one ‘reason for the season’. How will you encounter the Christ Child on Christmas Day? Are you aware of and open to the encounter of Jesus in others and in your daily life? As Fr. Mike Schmitz, Ascension Press, has said in his YouTube videos this Advent, what if this Christmas you didn’t wake up, would you be ready to encounter God?

The Advent season has been a time of preparing – to remember the infant Jesus born to Mary and Joseph over 2000 years ago, the coming of the Christ at the end of time, and the encounter with God we each will experience when our lives have ended. As we have turned the corner on the shortest day of the year and begin to experience increasing light each day, my hope is that your days will be filled with the Light and the incomprehensible Love of Christ for each of us.

Wishing you abundant peace, joy and love, Deena

Note: For those of you who may not be Christian and read this, I apologize for not being familiar with the tradition and rituals you are keeping at this time of year. I wish you the joy of being uplifted by your celebrations as well.

Photo Credit: A Postcard of the icon by Sr. Joan Tuberty, Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, MN., mentioned in this blog.

Advent 1st Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

Advent is a quiet time of preparing for Christmas. We begin the liturgical season with the dim light of one candle and reflect on the Second Coming of Christ. As we move closer to Christmas we remember the stories from our salvation history and the Incarnation, Jesus’ coming to us in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago. The gospel readings are somber. They warn us to be vigilant. We don’t watch the skies and wring our hands waiting for everything to collapse but we seek to make our hearts more open and prepared. We look within, making sure we aren’t drowsy and distracted by the concerns and desires of this world. We seek to put our focus on God, the peace that comes from living a life of faith, versus the anxieties of each day.

This morning, for the First Sunday of Advent, the prelude to the opening music was a haunting organ version of Veni veni Emmanuel. It was discordant, almost as if someone was playing off key (but we have a digital system, so I knew better). Before it moved to a more harmonious version of that music, O Come O Come Emmanuel, I was reflecting that it was perfect for the beginning of Advent. Our lives, the world for that matter, lack harmony and true fulfillment without the Light that comes from faith. We believe that our lives are changed for the better by living in alignment with the principles that Jesus shared with us, that we encounter daily in the Holy Word.

As we begin our new liturgical year 2025 with the season of Advent, we pause to reflect on our lives and the coming of the Christ Child, remembered at Christmas as the fulfillment of all the promises and covenants of old. But we do so, aware that Christ comes to us each day, if we are open and willing to have the encounter, and that each day we prepare for the time that our days on this earth will end, as well as the Second Coming, at the end of time.

How might we increase our focus on Christ during this holy time of preparation, even in the midst of our busy Christmas decorating, shopping and baking? How might we remind ourselves each day of the real reason we are doing all of these activities? How might we prepare our hearts so that each day they are filled with the Light of Christ, that brings us hope, peace, joy and love.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A past Advent wreath at my parish, Holy Family Church.

Confusing times

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, surrender, surrender novenaLeave a comment

Christmas in July for sales and TV Hallmark movies, Halloween in September and then Christmas sales bulldoze over Thanksgiving. I haven’t decorated for Christmas yet. Actually Thanksgiving decor, now that Halloween has been taken down, to mix in with other Fall items, are still in the tub on the floor. That’s a task for Monday. But I opened an email this weekend from a crafting company I follow to find a sale on Valentine’s Day stamps and paper. I understand that companies want us to have what we need when we are ready to mentally prepare for, shop or decorate, and begin planning for a holiday. When I was more active with my stamping business I knew you had to order new items early so that you could share them with others, so they had time to order and use them. I get it!

Yesterday my friend, Kathy, and I took a drive to check out a bakery I have wanted to visit (the seasonal task of finding the perfect Potica has begun!) and then visited a nursery and another local shop to browse Christmas decorations. I am not ready to put decorations up until after Thanksgiving but I love getting ideas and smelling the smells of greens, candles and coffee. I can get excited just like, maybe even more, than the next person!

But Valentine’s Day before we even reach December 1. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous!

We are also in a confusing time of transition with the government. Half of our country voted for change, a few dollars in the wallet, but at what cost? I am concerned that we have lost a deep respect for the dignity and rights of all people and for our constitution. Will we really see a protection of the lives of the unborn as promised but only to exclude the protection of those seeking safety, a better future for themselves and their families? I don’t know the answers. I do know I can’t watch the news to find out, it’s too disturbing to my inner peace. Instead I pray and hope. As a Benedictine Oblate, I keep the words of St. Benedict close to my heart and strive to welcome Christ in all others, regardless of our differences and opinions.

Personally I am in a season of change and transition too, leaving a ministry team I was part of for the past three years. What lies ahead? I’m not sure. I’m excited but if I get too far ahead of myself, like Valentine’s Day in November, I get stressed out. To prepare myself, I began praying a Surrender Novena last week, so that I could end it on the transition day, November 19, from this life to the next, of Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, the author of the novena. It reminds me daily that we worry about things we can’t control, we allow ourselves to get agitated and fret, focused on the transitory aspects of life. Of course we do what we can do with what we have, we live our lives as best we can. But, the way to peace is to surrender and trust in God.

This weekend, the week before the Solemnity of Christ the King, and two weeks from the First Sunday of Advent, beginning a new liturgical year, we are reminded that none of this lasts. Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13: 24-32) So we live in the world but are not of it. We enjoy the blessings we have been given and the beauty of this earth, realizing that none of it really belongs of us. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, all that I have will not change that. None of it goes with me. We use our gifts and talents so that we have more joy, discover and fulfill the purpose we have been given, but we use those gifts knowing we are meant to serve with them, to serve God and to serve others. These final Sundays of the liturgical year remind us to be watchful and alert, and to put our attention on the things that last.

As we move through the rest of November I invite us all to be aware of the gifts we have been given, the blessings of good friends and family. Celebrate those at Thanksgiving! Then enter into the Advent season, quietly preparing your heart to recall the gift of the Incarnation, God becoming one with us. Try to find moments to pause and reflect on scripture or Advent chants and carols. It truly makes the celebration of Christmas and the New Year, the Solemnity of Mary, more meaningful and joyful.

Take it slow, one day at a time, breathe and pause to give thanks, or ask for the grace to remain calm, despite all the preparations and crazy pace of the season. The simple act of giving thanks each evening, whether in a journal or as part of your evening prayer, heightens your awareness of the gift that life is and the people who walk with you through it. Let us be intentional as we move through these remaining day of 2024 about being at peace, enjoying each day we have been given and celebrating all we have. Things will never be perfect in our lives or in the world, so let us turn back to God, like the healed leper that returned to Jesus to give praise and thanks, knowing that it is all gift anyway.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Enjoy a moment of calm with a natural fountain at the Nicholas Conservatory and Gardens. Let it be a reminder to “go with the flow”.

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL

Fall into change

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, season of change, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Last weekend I celebrated a 50 year high school reunion with friends and classmates. We had an amazing turnout, it was heartwarming to see so many return to the area for the event. The committee did an outstanding job coordinating both evenings and everyone had a good time! We laughed as we remembered past times and caught up on what was going on in our lives now. It felt like there was an easiness about who and where we are in life. It seems the adage is true, wisdom comes with age. We could relax and just be ourselves as we interacted with each other.

The reunion was the reason that I didn’t write a blog post last weekend. My routine was completely upended. I realize, the older I get, the more I enjoy my routines and familiar daily practices. However, the world didn’t fall apart because I didn’t follow my normal routine and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy a different pace for the weekend.

This morning as I sat and delighted in all of the First Day of Fall posts on social media, I reflected on change, how Fall represents a season of change for me. The Autumn Equinox, this first day of Fall, represents that half way point, astronomically, of light and darkness. I have written before about threshold times and today is one of them. We stand at a threshold of the busy seasons of spring and summer planting and harvesting and the slowing down and hibernating of late fall and winter. As things get darker we generally tend to stay in, we want to be at home and cozy. My evening activities are less frequent and by 5 p.m., especially after November’s time change, I am usually not going anywhere!

There is truth to the other popular quote shared on social media today – “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.” Perhaps this season of Fall can be a time to consider letting go of some habits, routines or behaviors that aren’t serving us. We can assess our desire to people please or receive honor and recognition (not unlike the apostles in today’s Gospel debating who was the greatest among them, Mark 9: 30-37). We can try to let go of worrying and fear of the future. It doesn’t change the outcome anyway, perhaps we can focus on more productive ways to plan and prepare for the days ahead.

I have a desire to create more balance between ministry work and play, allowing time to craft with all the new inks, stamps and paper I ordered for Halloween and Fall. I want to go for a ride and enjoy the changing colors of the leaves. I want to read some of the books I have purchased and haven’t opened yet.

I invite you to embrace this first day of Fall as an opportunity to allow change. What would you like to let go of? What would you like to embrace or have more time for in your life? Are there some self-imposed “have to’s” than can be replaced by “want to’s”?

Another post that I saw this morning represents my feelings about Fall – There are two seasons; Fall and Waiting for Fall. I am going to treasure Fall this year, creating more pauses to enjoy it. I hope you do too!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A leaf from my tree that fell, last year, near the hydrangeas that were still blooming.

Listening to hear

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I love crafting; making cards, playing with mixed media projects and dabbling with painting supplies. Sometimes an idea comes to me and I create it with ease but often I need inspiration from others. I will turn to crafting videos on YouTube by “makers” like Jennifer McGuire, Tim Holtz, Nichol Spoor, Nina Marie Traponi, Mindy Eggen and so many others to watch them as they express their immense creativity. A technique they share or a card idea created in the video helps me take a product I have and create something in my style or with my vision. Seeing what others, and listening to how and why they are using a technique, help me learn the craft and put my hands to work trying different techniques.

Early Saturday morning for my prayer time, I turned to a new podcast Wonder with the Word produced by God In All Things. The podcast was an Ignatian Contemplation (reading a scripture and then placing yourself in the scene) for children and young adults or “the childlike”, “exploring the gospels through the power of imagination and curiosity”. The podcast was recorded earlier this week so it didn’t occur to me, I hadn’t done my preparation before Vigil Mass, that it was the gospel for this weekend. The gospel of Mark 7: 31-37 is the scene with Jesus, the apostles, and the people following Jesus, bringing the deaf man to him for healing. With simple prompts, we were invited to enter the scene and watch the interactions that unfolded. I observed the people begging Jesus to lay his hands upon the deaf man, then Jesus pulling the man away from the crowd and healing him.

I considered two things in my reflection after praying with the scripture. First, Jesus pulled the man aside. I don’t think it was to hide what he was going to do from others, Jesus knew they would be watching. Rather I felt that Jesus had compassion on the man. He knew that once the man heard, if still among the people gathered, there might be the sudden shock of many voices and cheers once he revealed that he could now hear. Jesus wanted him to gently enter the world of sound again. Second, I reflected that to hear the Word of God we need to step away, to the quiet, each day to clearly hear God speaking to us. Whether we are simply reading scripture, practicing Lectio Divina, prayerfully repeating scripture and sharing our prayer with God, or Ignatian Contemplation, placing ourselves in the scene to see and hear what God has to reveal to us during the time of prayer, we need the quiet time to reflect on the Word. I heard the invitation from God to be sure to continue to set aside my daily prayer to listen and hear God speak to me.

I attended Saturday Vigil Mass and hearing the Gospel proclaimed, I entered deeper and listened more attentively as Fr. Carlson shared a similar reflection that words help us express spiritual realities and to communicate ourselves to others. We need language to share ourselves, on a real level, with the words we share. God also communicates to us in the Word. That is the reason that we listen to the Liturgy of the Word each Sunday as part of Mass, or as other congregations do each weekend. He reminded us to be open and attentive to the Word of God, to spend some time in silent prayer and meditation, shutting out useless noise. We need to go to be alone with the Lord so that he can open our ears.

As a Benedictine Oblate, in the Prologue of The Rule, we are invited to listen with the ear of the heart. Daily Lectio, or prayerfully reflecting on a scripture passage, is an important part of daily life. We are reminded to be receptive and open before we are active in the tasks of each day.

Then early this morning, listening to Bishop Barron’s sermon on the Gospel, he shared the rich background and insight typical in his Sunday Sermons on YouTube. The word “Ephphatha” means “be open”. Jesus was opening the man’s ears to hear but also reminds us to be open to hearing the Word of God, not to shut it out or off. It’s as if Jesus by placing his fingers in the man’s ears unplugs them, opens them to hearing again.

Jesus, Word made flesh, words we hear spoken from God, reminds us to do the same, in our busy lives and secular society. In most cases it won’t remind us to stop and listen to what God is calling us to. It won’t tell us listening to God is more important that listening to what the world says is important. In some cases it might even try to embarrass or chastise us for trying to hear a deeper calling. Don’t stop, don’t let it. Take time to listen each day. Spend a few minutes reading a scripture. There are plenty of great devotional books with daily scripture, but don’t just read the words. Read the scripture, pause, and listen to what God might have to say to you, what God might be inviting you to do. It might just surprise you!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Bronze angels in the Garden of Reflection at Anderson Gardens in Rockford, IL.

A weekend to relax

On By dpavinatoIn contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spirituality1 Comment

This week someone asked me what I did to relax, to find more joy, to play. I thought about that a long time, even after we discussed it. I was tempted to pass up a girls get together this weekend because it has been a long and super busy week at Ignatian Ministries. But my conversation reminded me that all the things will be there! All the household tasks that didn’t get done Saturday morning before leaving will be there for me next week. It’s time to pause…

So, this weekend I am taking time off from writing this blog. I hope this update finds you well and spending the day doing something that you love with family and friends.

Take a break, take a deep breath, look at the sky.

All the things will be there when you are ready to pick it up again.

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today! Deena

Photo: One of my favorite quiet places to look up at the skies and trees.

Tending the soil

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Eucharistic Revival, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

By March or April I am ready for the spring flowers and sprouts of plants that begin to emerge in my flower beds. The early crocus, grape hyacinth, and jonquils bring bright color as the drab palette of winter begins to disappear for another year. I start checking out plants at the garden centers, dusting off the ceramic pots and deciding where I will use them and colors of plants that I will pair together. I buy good organic potting mix to help support the growth of the plants I will purchase. I start out so enthusiastic! I promise the plants I will do a better job of feeding them throughout the season.

Then June, July and August arrive. Frankly I do my best just to keep my plants watered daily. There just isn’t enough time for the care I want to provide. I let life get in the way of caring for my plants, which is also a way I renew my spirit.

This year I lost a couple of flowers in pots, in the back of the house, where they receive full sun every day. They were full sun plants but I guess the heat was too much for them. Yesterday I picked up replacement annuals for those pots and a new perennial for a spot I decided to pull out a plant that isn’t thriving. For some reason I found myself thinking about the daily gospel readings of this week, from the Gospel of Matthew, in which Jesus teaches with the parables of seed that falls on good, rich soil and the seed that is withered by the sun or doesn’t grow because of shallow or rocky soil.

Last week I mentioned the National Eucharistic Congress in my blog. My friend Kelly and I were supposed to attend as parish representatives. We were registered, had hotel reservations and were looking forward to a renewal, a revival in devotion to the Blessed Sacrament not only in our personal spiritual lives but for our parish. Then life happened. We each had different issues that arose so we had to be honest about our ability to attend the Congress. We knew we had to cancel. We knew it was the right decision but as it grew closer, we were also disheartened by our decision and not being with others in Indianapolis for this momentous event, the first Eucharistic Congress in 83 years.

I planned to watch the Revival sessions each evening, and as many other talks as I could, grateful for the gift of live-streaming and those covering the Congress making it accessible to those of us at home. But I was sad about not being there in person. Then the grace of the Holy Spirit surprised me with the extent of the impact of participating in the event remotely. Because of the tears and raw emotions I was feeling, I was probably better off watching from home. I could sing, cry, laugh and pray with only the cats wondering what the heck was going on. I felt a renewed spirit. I was challenged and convicted in areas that I need to take a deep look at. I continue to ponder the way I am using my gifts and how I might be called to use them differently or in new ways.

In closing his talk, Fr. Mike Schmitz, asked us to look at the areas of our lives where we put out the flame of love of God, the “fire extinguishers” or areas we let the world get in the way of a desire to love God more intimately. He also reminded us that we can’t take all the lessons and desires from Congress and jam them back into daily life without making some changes. I assessed that in my life. I committed to some daily changes and expanded prayer time in order to listen to God more closely.

Then almost a week later, stress and inner turmoil, set in just like the heat of summer, scorching my desires, just like it scorched the plants on my back patio. I chastised myself for only being able to keep my new promises for more than 4 days. Thursday and Friday were rough as I berated myself for not being dedicated enough. Then, reflecting on the scripture from this week, I found myself thinking that we have to nurture and tend the soil of our spiritual lives daily so that the birds don’t come and pluck the seeds of change away. The seeds in good, rich soil are not completely protected from the heat and the birds but they have a better chance of surviving. So I asked myself what I needed to do to make sure the seeds of my desire to spend more time in quiet contemplation were planted in deep and fertile soil.

The world will try to grab our attention and tell us that our desires are not possible or perhaps even worth working at. It will tell us that superficial pleasures are more valuable than inner peace and tranquility. It will tell us that our deepest desires are not possible. I think I would rather fertilize the soil and keeping working at it, even when it’s hard! If you find yourself in a similar place, don’t give up! I’m here for you, be assured of my prayers for each of you.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: flowers growing in a wooded area in Oregon, Illinois

Ever growing desire

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

My niece’s daughter, Genevieve, is going to be 6 this week. She loves to play, craft and create. She really loves her Legos! Last year she worked on a Cinderella castle for ages 12+. It took her a little while longer than her normal creations but I believe she was done in less than a week. The kits for children her age are done in no time. She began with the smaller combinations of regular pieces, then advanced to the small kits with specific designs and now loves the more challenging ones. She gained one level of skill and then advanced to the next, desiring to learn and do more.

As we bring June to a close today, I would like to talk once more about the topic of Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Then I will pause it, at least for a while. A few people commented to me, after reading the past few blogs, that they really hoped I found what I was searching for, that it seemed I was really searching for something in my life. I guess on some level I always have been and will likely continue to be searching for deeper meaning and greater depths of understanding in my life. But it is more like peeling back layers of an onion or going deeper into the middle of a spiral. At Ignatian Ministries, we refer to that as “called deeper together”, to go beyond the shallow waters and into the deep waters of faith.

We don’t get a Catholic education in grade school, or as CCD students, and then stay at that level of understanding all of our lives. At least I hope we don’t. Genevieve would quickly be bored with working on Lego kits at a level for 5 year olds. Go to church or not, I believe it’s an important aspect of faith and community, you will be bored with your faith if you stay at a grade school understanding of it. Growth happens as we look for new ways to understand the Mystery of God and its meaning in our lives.

The practice of Lectio Divina, sacred and prayerful reading of scripture, is part of my Benedictine Oblate practice. Listening to and reflecting on the Living Word of God in scripture each day, and our additional study, whether in books, retreats or more structured study programs, should take us deeper and deeper in our understanding of who God is calling us to be in life. We go deeper into that spiral, finding new meaning, based on the desires of our heart and the circumstances in our lives.

I love the First Principle and Foundation of Ignatian Spirituality, to live with God forever, but the depth of the spirituality comes in daily prayer, daily examen and discernment. It is an ongoing process. God loves each of us, uniquely and passionately, where we are in our state in life. It doesn’t matter if someone else is further along or has a greater depth of understanding. We are where we are, with all of our desires and situations, and God wants to meet us there.

Go ahead, touch the tassel of Jesus’ garment today, (today’s Gospel reading is Mark 5: 21-43) let him turn to you and talk to you. Have a conversation regarding who you are and what you are called to be and to see, right now, today. Keep having those conversations, they will change over time, as you do!

Wishing you overflowing peace today, Deena

Image: Sen on Unsplash