Category: Life in the Spirit

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!

Coming home to myself

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

I traveled as part of my job as a sales operations manager for a corporation before retiring. Most of my customers were on the west coast so it was almost always air travel from O’Hare Airport versus a car trip. As I returned from each business trip, traveling on interstates 294 and 55 then on to I80 which crosses Illinois from east to west, I would literally feel the tension in my body diminishing once I got past the distribution centers on 80 heading west toward the “Illinois Valley”. As I left the crowded industrial areas and began to see the corn and bean fields, even in the winter with no plants growing, I could breathe again. I knew I was headed home.

Lately I have felt a congestion in my spirit, much like traveling in those suburban areas near the airport. I let worrying about personal responsibilities and working too many hours fan a flame within. It was certainly my choice to work more due to some circumstances and tasks that needed to be completed for the ministry work I do. Regarding personal concerns, I know that worrying about life doesn’t change the circumstance but somehow I keep revisiting the concerns as if the more I think about it the more likely it will change. But like the taper that I use to put out the candles after Saturday Vigil Masses at my parish, I was slowly putting out a light within.

This week a friend and I returned to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, Il to see the colors of Fall in the lush gardens. The minute we set foot on the path leaving the Welcome Center, I took a deep breath of the cool Fall air, the smell of wood and leaves, and felt my body relax again. I relaxed to a place within that I hadn’t felt in months. We crossed the Giboshi Bridge, also called the “devotion bridge”, the Alaskan yellow cedar bridge with giboshi black finials on the posts, recently renovated, with the intention of leaving the dust of the world behind, as recommended by our docent during our visit in June. The trees, colors of the leaves, occasional mum in pots, the ducks and geese in the ponds, and the flowing waters helped bring about a sense of inner peace and contentment.

Later in the week I attended a discussion meeting, with other Benedictine Oblates, at the monastery of the Sisters of St. Benedict at St. Mary Monastery. We were discussing the process of invitation and formation of oblates to our Benedictine Oblate community. There are 25,000 Benedictine Oblates worldwide, each of us associated with specific monasteries or communities. Our monastery oblate groups are located within 7 locations in Central Illinois and Indiana. As the number of sisters at the monastery decreases, and the sisters age, we discussed how important it was to begin to take on the responsibilities of inviting new people to consider the oblate life of prayer and study. We acknowledged statistics that reflect a growing desire in men and women to find spiritual support and meaning beyond parish life. As we discussed our Benedictine values, and the oblate life we are committed to, again I felt a serenity within.

On the evening of the full “supermoon” this week, I shared an article on my personal Facebook page written by Brother Guy Consolmagno SJ, Director of the Vatican Observatory. Brother Guy recommended a daily practice of looking at the heavens each evening, even if just for a few minutes. He stated that by doing so we become attuned to the natural rhythms of our world and cosmos and are reminded of something greater than ourselves. But I would add that we also begin to sense our place in a greater purpose and reason for being. As I stepped outside after reading the article I gazed up at the gorgeous moon shining brightly in the evening sky and once again, I felt at home within. I felt peace and contentment. I felt alive.

This week I invite you to consider the times and places that you feel that you come home to yourself, places that you know you are being and in touch with your true authentic self and your relationship with God. If you haven’t been visiting those places, or doing things that make you feel alive in your spirit, what might you do so that you experience it again? It just might be as simple as looking at gorgeous Fall colors and breathing deeply!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: The Giboshi Bridge at Anderson Japanese Gardens in October. I shared a photo of the bridge earlier this year in a post. The Fall colors beyond the bridge were stunning.

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL

Transformed hearts

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Have you ever shared with someone a health condition or that you weren’t feeling well, only to hear in response – yes I have had that too, only their illness was worse, longer, required more treatment, etc. Perhaps you were talking with a friend about a busy time in life and then they replied with their situation which is busier, more intense and requires more than your situation. You may have actually been the person that responded in that way, we all do it. When I reflect on times that I was the person listening and responding, I believe it was, in most cases, an attempt to show empathy and compassion for what the person is going through but afterwards reflected that I could have acknowledged their feelings without adding my own example.

Today’s first reading and gospel for the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time reminded me of those times of oneupmanship in life. In the first reading, the elders complain to Moses that two men who weren’t at a gathering where God bestowed the spirit upon them to prophesy were prophesying in the camp anyway. They were among the seventy elders but they didn’t follow the protocol of attending the gathering. The spirit was upon them regardless and Moses corrected the others by saying that he wished all the people were prophets and questioned their jealousy for the two men. Then in the gospel reading the apostles complained to Jesus that there were people driving out demons in Jesus’ name but weren’t part of the in group of followers. Jesus then uses it as a teaching lesson for his apostles and followers. Jesus broadened their sense of who is included and who belongs to him as a follower.

I also reflected on meetings that I attended, or comments made by someone, showed the need for a person to be in charge or make sure others know of their involvement was a critical part of making something happen. The reality is very little of what we do is on our own. First of all, it is the grace of Spirit of God that inspires us. Also, others are involved in helping us and ideas we read along the way contributed to the concept we are sharing or the work we are doing. I think of the number of things I listened to or read last night and this morning that helped with my reflection on these weekly readings. Everything I think and share is a synthesis, albeit through my personal experience, of the thoughts of those wiser than me. The Rule of St. Benedict, in Chapter 7 on Humility, reminds me that every exaltation is a kind of pride. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be proud of our accomplishments, or acknowledge them in appropriate situations, but that we check our intentions before we do so.

I immediately thought of my photo for today’s blog as I reflected on the readings this morning and what I might share with all of you. The flowers in the garden don’t compete and say I worked harder to be this color, or I grew taller than you, and they do not try to stand out above the others. They just express the beauty of their being.

I would love to be more like these flowers!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Fall into change

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, season of change, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Last weekend I celebrated a 50 year high school reunion with friends and classmates. We had an amazing turnout, it was heartwarming to see so many return to the area for the event. The committee did an outstanding job coordinating both evenings and everyone had a good time! We laughed as we remembered past times and caught up on what was going on in our lives now. It felt like there was an easiness about who and where we are in life. It seems the adage is true, wisdom comes with age. We could relax and just be ourselves as we interacted with each other.

The reunion was the reason that I didn’t write a blog post last weekend. My routine was completely upended. I realize, the older I get, the more I enjoy my routines and familiar daily practices. However, the world didn’t fall apart because I didn’t follow my normal routine and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy a different pace for the weekend.

This morning as I sat and delighted in all of the First Day of Fall posts on social media, I reflected on change, how Fall represents a season of change for me. The Autumn Equinox, this first day of Fall, represents that half way point, astronomically, of light and darkness. I have written before about threshold times and today is one of them. We stand at a threshold of the busy seasons of spring and summer planting and harvesting and the slowing down and hibernating of late fall and winter. As things get darker we generally tend to stay in, we want to be at home and cozy. My evening activities are less frequent and by 5 p.m., especially after November’s time change, I am usually not going anywhere!

There is truth to the other popular quote shared on social media today – “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.” Perhaps this season of Fall can be a time to consider letting go of some habits, routines or behaviors that aren’t serving us. We can assess our desire to people please or receive honor and recognition (not unlike the apostles in today’s Gospel debating who was the greatest among them, Mark 9: 30-37). We can try to let go of worrying and fear of the future. It doesn’t change the outcome anyway, perhaps we can focus on more productive ways to plan and prepare for the days ahead.

I have a desire to create more balance between ministry work and play, allowing time to craft with all the new inks, stamps and paper I ordered for Halloween and Fall. I want to go for a ride and enjoy the changing colors of the leaves. I want to read some of the books I have purchased and haven’t opened yet.

I invite you to embrace this first day of Fall as an opportunity to allow change. What would you like to let go of? What would you like to embrace or have more time for in your life? Are there some self-imposed “have to’s” than can be replaced by “want to’s”?

Another post that I saw this morning represents my feelings about Fall – There are two seasons; Fall and Waiting for Fall. I am going to treasure Fall this year, creating more pauses to enjoy it. I hope you do too!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A leaf from my tree that fell, last year, near the hydrangeas that were still blooming.

Listening to hear

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I love crafting; making cards, playing with mixed media projects and dabbling with painting supplies. Sometimes an idea comes to me and I create it with ease but often I need inspiration from others. I will turn to crafting videos on YouTube by “makers” like Jennifer McGuire, Tim Holtz, Nichol Spoor, Nina Marie Traponi, Mindy Eggen and so many others to watch them as they express their immense creativity. A technique they share or a card idea created in the video helps me take a product I have and create something in my style or with my vision. Seeing what others, and listening to how and why they are using a technique, help me learn the craft and put my hands to work trying different techniques.

Early Saturday morning for my prayer time, I turned to a new podcast Wonder with the Word produced by God In All Things. The podcast was an Ignatian Contemplation (reading a scripture and then placing yourself in the scene) for children and young adults or “the childlike”, “exploring the gospels through the power of imagination and curiosity”. The podcast was recorded earlier this week so it didn’t occur to me, I hadn’t done my preparation before Vigil Mass, that it was the gospel for this weekend. The gospel of Mark 7: 31-37 is the scene with Jesus, the apostles, and the people following Jesus, bringing the deaf man to him for healing. With simple prompts, we were invited to enter the scene and watch the interactions that unfolded. I observed the people begging Jesus to lay his hands upon the deaf man, then Jesus pulling the man away from the crowd and healing him.

I considered two things in my reflection after praying with the scripture. First, Jesus pulled the man aside. I don’t think it was to hide what he was going to do from others, Jesus knew they would be watching. Rather I felt that Jesus had compassion on the man. He knew that once the man heard, if still among the people gathered, there might be the sudden shock of many voices and cheers once he revealed that he could now hear. Jesus wanted him to gently enter the world of sound again. Second, I reflected that to hear the Word of God we need to step away, to the quiet, each day to clearly hear God speaking to us. Whether we are simply reading scripture, practicing Lectio Divina, prayerfully repeating scripture and sharing our prayer with God, or Ignatian Contemplation, placing ourselves in the scene to see and hear what God has to reveal to us during the time of prayer, we need the quiet time to reflect on the Word. I heard the invitation from God to be sure to continue to set aside my daily prayer to listen and hear God speak to me.

I attended Saturday Vigil Mass and hearing the Gospel proclaimed, I entered deeper and listened more attentively as Fr. Carlson shared a similar reflection that words help us express spiritual realities and to communicate ourselves to others. We need language to share ourselves, on a real level, with the words we share. God also communicates to us in the Word. That is the reason that we listen to the Liturgy of the Word each Sunday as part of Mass, or as other congregations do each weekend. He reminded us to be open and attentive to the Word of God, to spend some time in silent prayer and meditation, shutting out useless noise. We need to go to be alone with the Lord so that he can open our ears.

As a Benedictine Oblate, in the Prologue of The Rule, we are invited to listen with the ear of the heart. Daily Lectio, or prayerfully reflecting on a scripture passage, is an important part of daily life. We are reminded to be receptive and open before we are active in the tasks of each day.

Then early this morning, listening to Bishop Barron’s sermon on the Gospel, he shared the rich background and insight typical in his Sunday Sermons on YouTube. The word “Ephphatha” means “be open”. Jesus was opening the man’s ears to hear but also reminds us to be open to hearing the Word of God, not to shut it out or off. It’s as if Jesus by placing his fingers in the man’s ears unplugs them, opens them to hearing again.

Jesus, Word made flesh, words we hear spoken from God, reminds us to do the same, in our busy lives and secular society. In most cases it won’t remind us to stop and listen to what God is calling us to. It won’t tell us listening to God is more important that listening to what the world says is important. In some cases it might even try to embarrass or chastise us for trying to hear a deeper calling. Don’t stop, don’t let it. Take time to listen each day. Spend a few minutes reading a scripture. There are plenty of great devotional books with daily scripture, but don’t just read the words. Read the scripture, pause, and listen to what God might have to say to you, what God might be inviting you to do. It might just surprise you!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Bronze angels in the Garden of Reflection at Anderson Gardens in Rockford, IL.

Ever flowing source of grace

On By dpavinatoIn care for creation, Catholic faith, contemplation, Laudato Si, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I’ve always wanted one of those fountains that is constantly flowing, the water recycling back to the top so that there is the continual movement and sound of water. Earlier this week I watched my favorite gardening channel on YouTube, Garden Answer, as they installed a new fountain in the middle of flower beds on their property. Seeing it installed rekindled a desire to have one. I know there are smaller versions that would be better suited for my small yard and patio, but of all the things I want for my yard, that probably isn’t on the top of the list. However, this weekend the image of the fountain of ever flowing water came to mind for a couple of reasons.

On Friday, for Ignatian Ministries, we hosted a virtual gathering of spiritual directors for a quarterly “collective”. The presenter led us through a discussion of images of God and how helping a directee reflect on and gain better insight of their image of God is beneficial in spiritual direction. The person who led prayer offered a litany of words to invoke possible images. Two that glimmered for me were “wisdom” and “Sophia”, words that have been on my mind this week in morning prayer reading scriptures from Sirach and Wisdom. “Send her forth from your holy heavens and from your glorious throne dispatch her that she may work with me, that I may know what is pleasing to you. For she knows and understands all things, and will guide me prudently in my affairs and safeguard me by her glory.” Wisdom 9: 10-11

On Saturday, I listened to a presentation by Sr. Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, for a women’s faith conference earlier this summer, reflecting on the gift of God’s love as the source “from whom all good things come” (Collect, Tenth Week in Ordinary Time). In our littleness and narrow perception, we limit the abundant love and goodness that God has for us and can either “resist, reject or refuse” that love. When we do, we close ourselves off from seeing and responding to the call and the generous gifts we have been given. But even if we do, the love never ceases.

Today I reflect on Pope Francis’ call, the 9th anniversary, for a World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation. This year’s theme is “Hope and Act with Creation”. The earth is a continual act of creation and new birth. But we must protect it. Pope Francis says “To hope and act with creation, then, means above all to join forces and to walk together with all men and women of good will. In this way, we can help to rethink, ‘among other things, the question of human power, its meaning and its limits.'” The beauty of creation in forests and wild flowers, beautiful clouds and sunsets, the soothing sounds of ocean waves or the bees busy this morning flying in and out of my purple petunias all reflect limitless creativity and generous love. How I treat and care for creation limits my response to God’s love, it does not limit the lavish love God pours into creation each day.

My point in each of my examples is that God’s wisdom, love for us, and constant gift of creation is endless and abundant. Each day is a gift if we slow down enough to embrace it. No matter what we have done or been in life, we cannot turn off the unceasing graces that are there for us, if only we will receive them. We have to open our hearts, that are often frightened and hardened by the world, to allow that love to flow freely from God to us.

This Labor Day weekend, let us pause from our labor and busy lives, and reflect on this bountiful love, a love that never stops flowing out to and upon us.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A fountain in a piazza in Assisi, Italy

Turning of time

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

The school children in our area are back to school. There are holiday movies on TV and halloween decorations have been emerging in the marketplace. I have to admit I have picked up a couple of Fall items already and I look forward to unpacking some of the seasonal items that I bring out each year. I am ready to switch colors in the house and bring out my favorite orange/pumpkin, yellows, tans and browns. Sunflowers, mums and chrysanthemums will soon be replacing the brighter pinks and purples in the flower pots. I can’t wait to see the leaves change on the trees. I usually want to linger there longer than the season lasts though. If I had my wish it would start earlier, replacing those excessive heat days that always seem to come when the children are attending full days during September, and last until early December when I am ready to switch gears, slowly reflect on the season of Advent and prepare for Christmas.

But nature doesn’t wait to hear our desires for the year. It simply moves on.

Sunday, August 18 marks another moving on of time for me, another year around the sun. One of my favorite traditions, borrowed from Dr. Troy Amdahl, of OolaLife.com is to move a marble from one jar to another to mark the passing of another year. I added a step of placing the new marble for the year, representing all the opportunities and experiences the year will hold, in a small glass holder in the middle. The full jar represents each of the years I have lived so far. I have to admit when I decided on the number of marbles to put in the future jar many years ago it seemed as though I had plenty. The jar is looking pretty empty right now! I’ve got time, hopefully lots of it, to decide when to replenish the jar on the right and how many marbles to add.

My marble is a visual reminder each morning when I wake that I have been gifted with another day and that this day is the only day that matters, the only day to focus on (or at least give it our best shot!). It’s good to set goals and think about the future. If you know me, you know I love to do that! However, what we do with the day we have been given is what matters!

I am blessed with a wonderful family, good friends, a supportive parish, the Monastery and my Oblate community, and an abundant number of spiritual guides and mentors. I am grateful for my job at Ignatian Ministries and the work we do accompanying others on their spiritual journeys. Even though I have items on my wish life and places I hope to visit, I have everything that I need in life. I am extremely grateful for all of it!

This week I used a blessing from Macrina Weideker from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day for our team meeting. I had the opportunity to meet Macrina and spend a joyous dinner with her, during an Oblate conference. She was a person who was present to and enjoyed the hours of her day. Some of my favorite lines from the section on the Hour of Illumination and the short prayer, O Warmth and Energy of the Sun are “Renew my commitment to the tasks of this day. Lead me to my courage…Enliven my growing moments.” So if there is anything I ask for this year it is enliven the growing moments in my life and be led to my courage, to stand in my wisdom and to be more of the person that God calls me to be.

Join me in celebrating this once in a lifetime, brand new day, that each of us have been given today, whether it is your birthday or not. Live it to the best of your ability. Appreciate the gifts you have been given. Deena

Note: I edit and schedule the blog posts for our Into the Deep blog for Ignatian Ministries. This week I was also a writer, which I have done a couple of times a year. Visit our blog Sunday night after 6 p.m. to read my post or go to the website and subscribe to receive our blogs in an email each week on Monday morning. We have amazing writers and each of the articles in our various series will share insights and will “accompany you into deeper waters of faith.”

Photo: My marble jars

Landscapes of our lives

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey1 Comment

Besides living in upstate New York for a few years in the 60’s, I have lived in the Midwest all of my life. Even when I left Illinois to work for Electronic Data Systems on the General Motors account in Michigan, the move was only to a small suburb of Detroit. The seasons were almost exactly the same as Illinois.

The changing seasons have always been part of my life. As much as I am ready for Fall now, because of the excessive heat and humidity of this summer, I wouldn’t trade the seasons for anything. Each change of season becomes a threshold place, marking the “next thing” whether it was returning to school, beginning college, preparing for holidays or making goals for a new year.

For me the changing seasons – Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter remind me of the birth, growth, decline and rest or death in life, relationships, stages of becoming who we are over and over again, like a huge spiral continuing ever deeper.

Saturday morning as I drove past tall fields of corn on the way to the veterinary clinic for medicine and food for the cats, I enjoyed seeing the height of the corn stalks and reflected on how much they have grown since the little sprouts that are my favorite sign of Spring and seasons of planting. The bright blue expansive sky invited me to breathe deep after a busy week and relish the day.

While I was driving I was listening to the latest podcast, Fire and Light, with Tessa Bielecki and David Denny, two “urban hermits” in Tucson, Arizona. This month’s episode is “The Seed and the Space that Changed You.” Tessa and David describe their separate journeys to Sedona, their instant love of the red rock and open skies of the desert, and their eventual work together at the Spiritual Life Institute. Since then they have co-created Sand and Sky, the Desert Foundation exploring the wisdom of the desert in various spiritual traditions. I am more familiar with Tessa from her teaching and writing of St. Teresa of Avila but I love each new blog post and podcast and the conversations between Tessa and David. They have become two spiritual teachers of desert wisdom for me.

As they talked they posed questions about the landscapes that have been a part of our lives. They asked us to consider how the landscape formed us, what impact it had on us and how it might have influenced our relationship with the earth and with God. They also asked us to consider books or teachers that were pivotal in shaping who we are today.

As I listened I thought also of significant places on my journey and how they have formed me – living in Saugerties/Woodstock New York in the late 60’s, the Campus Ministry office at the private Catholic college I attended and the friends made while in college, the Newman Center during graduate school, my first job at a college as a counselor, the natural food shops and bookstores in Royal Oak, Mi., then moving back to Illinois and opening my own business and all my encounters with those who shopped there. Landscapes can be places and people, as much as the topography.

I invite you to spend some time thinking about the landscapes that have formed you, the people that inspired you and the places that have been important in becoming the person you are today.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Sunsets in the Midwest are amazing! This photo was taken outside my home.

Tending the soil

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Eucharistic Revival, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

By March or April I am ready for the spring flowers and sprouts of plants that begin to emerge in my flower beds. The early crocus, grape hyacinth, and jonquils bring bright color as the drab palette of winter begins to disappear for another year. I start checking out plants at the garden centers, dusting off the ceramic pots and deciding where I will use them and colors of plants that I will pair together. I buy good organic potting mix to help support the growth of the plants I will purchase. I start out so enthusiastic! I promise the plants I will do a better job of feeding them throughout the season.

Then June, July and August arrive. Frankly I do my best just to keep my plants watered daily. There just isn’t enough time for the care I want to provide. I let life get in the way of caring for my plants, which is also a way I renew my spirit.

This year I lost a couple of flowers in pots, in the back of the house, where they receive full sun every day. They were full sun plants but I guess the heat was too much for them. Yesterday I picked up replacement annuals for those pots and a new perennial for a spot I decided to pull out a plant that isn’t thriving. For some reason I found myself thinking about the daily gospel readings of this week, from the Gospel of Matthew, in which Jesus teaches with the parables of seed that falls on good, rich soil and the seed that is withered by the sun or doesn’t grow because of shallow or rocky soil.

Last week I mentioned the National Eucharistic Congress in my blog. My friend Kelly and I were supposed to attend as parish representatives. We were registered, had hotel reservations and were looking forward to a renewal, a revival in devotion to the Blessed Sacrament not only in our personal spiritual lives but for our parish. Then life happened. We each had different issues that arose so we had to be honest about our ability to attend the Congress. We knew we had to cancel. We knew it was the right decision but as it grew closer, we were also disheartened by our decision and not being with others in Indianapolis for this momentous event, the first Eucharistic Congress in 83 years.

I planned to watch the Revival sessions each evening, and as many other talks as I could, grateful for the gift of live-streaming and those covering the Congress making it accessible to those of us at home. But I was sad about not being there in person. Then the grace of the Holy Spirit surprised me with the extent of the impact of participating in the event remotely. Because of the tears and raw emotions I was feeling, I was probably better off watching from home. I could sing, cry, laugh and pray with only the cats wondering what the heck was going on. I felt a renewed spirit. I was challenged and convicted in areas that I need to take a deep look at. I continue to ponder the way I am using my gifts and how I might be called to use them differently or in new ways.

In closing his talk, Fr. Mike Schmitz, asked us to look at the areas of our lives where we put out the flame of love of God, the “fire extinguishers” or areas we let the world get in the way of a desire to love God more intimately. He also reminded us that we can’t take all the lessons and desires from Congress and jam them back into daily life without making some changes. I assessed that in my life. I committed to some daily changes and expanded prayer time in order to listen to God more closely.

Then almost a week later, stress and inner turmoil, set in just like the heat of summer, scorching my desires, just like it scorched the plants on my back patio. I chastised myself for only being able to keep my new promises for more than 4 days. Thursday and Friday were rough as I berated myself for not being dedicated enough. Then, reflecting on the scripture from this week, I found myself thinking that we have to nurture and tend the soil of our spiritual lives daily so that the birds don’t come and pluck the seeds of change away. The seeds in good, rich soil are not completely protected from the heat and the birds but they have a better chance of surviving. So I asked myself what I needed to do to make sure the seeds of my desire to spend more time in quiet contemplation were planted in deep and fertile soil.

The world will try to grab our attention and tell us that our desires are not possible or perhaps even worth working at. It will tell us that superficial pleasures are more valuable than inner peace and tranquility. It will tell us that our deepest desires are not possible. I think I would rather fertilize the soil and keeping working at it, even when it’s hard! If you find yourself in a similar place, don’t give up! I’m here for you, be assured of my prayers for each of you.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: flowers growing in a wooded area in Oregon, Illinois