Category: hope and healing

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Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena

Trust the journey

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Madonna della Strada, Our Lady of the Way, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I recall the words of one of my wellness teachers in Michigan as I prepared to leave corporate life in the late 1980’s and move back to Illinois to open a business. He said, paraphrasing a bit, teach what you want keep practicing or what you want to learn. Many of us that write or teach do just that. It’s often a thought we want to explore more, go deeper with, or remember about our journeys. That is very true with today’s post!

The past couple of days have been challenging ones. I was doubting and wondering what lies ahead for me. It’s part of the reason that the past couple of blogs have been about listening to an inner call and watching for guidance from Spirit. But more specifically this week, I have been contemplating a way to present a concept about personal call and vocation in life, a Christ-centered approach to looking at the different aspects of our lives and making sense of how we decide what to focus on, the activities we pursue and how they fit in our mission in life. As soon as I put thoughts together, my inner critic would chime in and say “who cares”, “why bother”, “no one needs to know this” or worse, “no one wants to know this”. I got discouraged and depressed.

So Friday, I bought some plants! Dirt therapy is revitalizing! I have hope when I plant and watch my flowers grow and blossom. As I was finishing up outside Saturday morning, I was surprised by a visit from a good friend, Cheryl, who lives out of town, but was in the area to visit the cemetery and another friend. She dropped off an adorable cat, coffee mug, knowing coffee and cats are two of my favorite things. I was touched by the gift and the surprise visit! A few minutes later, another friend, Kelly, texted that she wanted to stop by and drop off a treat. It was an amazing chocolate expresso cupcake from a local bakery, Millstone, which I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday evening! Those brief encounters reminded me that no matter what else is going on, I have loving and cherished friends and have that to be grateful for.

Saturday evening I sat down to catch up on social media and saw a post by the Jesuits of Canada and the United States on Facebook honoring the Feast of Our Lady of the Way, Madonna della Strada, on May 24. I paused and gave thanks for the reminder to trust Divine Timing.

The fresco of Our Lady of the Way is displayed at the Church of the Gesu in Rome, Italy. There is also a replica of the painting in the Madonna della Strada Chapel on the campus of Loyola University in Chicago. St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, had a deep love for our Lady. Our Lady of Arantzazu and Our Lady of Montserrat Shrines were significant in his personal journey, and the formation of what we now call the Spiritual Exercises and Ignatian Spirituality. St. Ignatius, and later his companions, the early Jesuits, formed and made solemn vows on Marian feast days.

Our Lady of the Way is special to me because she led me to my spiritual director and praying the Spiritual Exercises this past year. Last Spring, when I worked for Ignatian Ministries, I had been talking to Becky Eldredge about the Spiritual Exercises. I knew I didn’t want to walk through the Exercises with anyone that was on our referral list or directors that Becky knew. I wanted it to be with someone that didn’t know me or my work at the ministry. I browsed many Ignatian and Jesuit retreat sites and the minute I found Our Lady of the Way (see info and link below), I knew it was the right retreat center for me. I waited a couple of months, but once I felt that the calling was intensifying within, I browsed the spiritual directors and emailed one of the founders. Besides being trained to walk with people through the Spiritual Exercises, she was trained in Mind-Body, Integrative Healing and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I just knew she was the right fit! We talked and it was! It’s been a grace-filled year.

This morning, Sunday, May 25, Pope Leo XIV reminded us in his Regina Caeli address that “in all that the Lord calls us to—whether in our life journey or in our journey of faith, sometimes we feel inadequate.” He said that Jesus sends us the Spirit so that we don’t have to worry or be anxious in life in our individual calling or regarding personal responsibilities. Pope Leo, who also has a deep love of Our Lady, said that we too, like Mary, can welcome the Spirit, so that we can be “signs and instruments of his love” to those we encounter. Those words give me hope. I pray that they are an encouragement to you too. Let us watch for the signs that God is with us and that we have the Spirit to guide and encourage us as we attempt to respond to that personal call in each of our lives.

I wish you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Our Lady of the Way, stay with us when we grow weary of the journey…Lead us when we cannot see the path…Because for all we lay down, we pick up something greater, we pick up freedom. Our Lady of the Way, show us the way. (Full prayer on Jesuits.org)

My spiritual director, and her colleagues, have a lovely description of the history and dedication of Madonna della Strada, as well as their retreats and information regarding spiritual direction, on their website, Our Lady of the Way. The Blog section has an abundance of articles on prayer and Ignatian Spirituality, I encourage you to visit it!

Image for today’s blog: the icon of Madonna della Stada at the Church of the Gesu, Rome.

Clinging to hope

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, care for creation, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Laudato Si, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality2 Comments

“Thanks for inviting me!”, one of our Oblates said sarcastically during our monthly meeting and discussion on Saturday morning. We had been discussing our chapters on water and the oceans from On Care for our Common Home, Laudato Si: The Encyclical of Pope Francis on the Environment with Commentary by Pope Francis and Sean McDonagh.

In the book, the author cited a United Nations report in 2008 that an estimated 8-9 hundred million people in the world experienced water shortages. I wondered what the current situation was so I Googled it to learn that between 2-3 billion people experienced water shortages for at least one month per year. The United Nations site, UN-Water.org in preparation for World Water Day in March of this year, shares that 2.2 billion people live without access to safe drinking water. This is not water shortage but on a daily basis do not have clean water to drink or use! We talked about the impact of pesticides, the current situation in California due to the life-impacting fires and the consequences of putting out those fires or houses and cars burning to drinking and ocean water, and we honestly discussed our overuse of water and other impacts to the environment. I shared that the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is now considered to be TWICE the size of Texas, the whole state of Texas, not Dallas or Houston, 1.6 square kilometers. While it is true that it contains marine debris, it is also rapidly accumulating plastics and other garbage. This post is not about water or the environment. But it is one of the many things that can completely overwhelm a person if you seriously think about it for any length of time.

We spent considerable time discussing, and praying (a beautiful prayer led by fellow Oblate, Karen), for those impacted by the fires in California. Needless to say it wasn’t one of our more uplifting gatherings! But in a way, it was. Our prayer and discussion led to the hope that we can and do make a difference.

This morning I read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, What Angels Do, and read about the impact of the fires on her life, her community and her state. It is hard to wrap your head around the devastation to the communities, families and homes in California. Even though it’s hard, we can’t turn our minds away from it when the news reports change. The lives of those people will continue to need our prayers and assistance. Maria ended her newsletter with words of hope, “Dare to dream, to grieve, to let go, and rise again”.

Tomorrow we face a time of change in our country. It’s hard for me to fathom that for the first time in our country’s history we have elected a convicted felon to lead our government. You may be too young (I hate that I am now old enough to start saying things like that) but I remember a time that disgraces by leaders would lead to a resignation from the highest offices in our land and states, or would at least result in a period of public apology for tarnishing the esteem of the position. I understand that people voted on a single issue or that they have hopes that the cost of groceries are suddenly going to decrease on Tuesday. But I cannot understand the means to the end.

But just as this isn’t about water, this post is also not about politics. It is about finding and having hope regardless of what is going on around us.

Pope Francis intended to have his autobiography, Hope, released after his death. But to coincide with this Jubilee Year of Hope in the Catholic Church, he has released the book early (I hope way too early!). The message of Pope Francis to various audiences and on different topics is to “face the future with hope”. I have ordered and look forward to reading about his youth and family life, his vocation and his thoughts on leading the world-wide Church. I look forward to words of hope and encouragement. I wrestle with the state of things but then look to this man who never ceases to care for those in need and for peace in our world. He is a man filled with hope that the world can be a better place and sets a personal example doing so.

Lastly I end with words by Kate Bowler, author and podcaster, shared on social media this morning.

This world. Impossible. Unthinkable…

Help us to know what to feel – rage, grief, sorrow.

And what to do – advocate, protest, lament…

God, give us hope that seems hard to find.

Visit Kate on Facebook or Instagram to read the entire “blessing”/prayer.

Whatever we can do, whoever we encounter each day, let us find a way to offer hope and encouragement. One person, one small act can have a huge impact. Whatever is going on around us, let us not forget that!

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

As a note, I intended to write about the power of mindset, acknowledging our gifts and talents, the blessings we have in life and then choosing to use our gifts as a way of responding to all we have received but I could not set aside the desire to write about hope. Using our gifts and talents to make a difference is a way to express hope. Stay tuned later this week, I may write another mid-week reflection.

Photo: noticing a beautiful sunset appearing later in the day, a sure sign of hope that Spring is on the way.

A family to turn to in all things

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, sacred listening, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

After a busy week of finishing baking and gifts, family gatherings and Christmas, I watched the BBC version on The Nativity on Saturday evening. This version took a lot of poetic license with the scriptures and I can’t say that I was pleased with their depiction of Joseph and his rejection of Mary but still, I was moved by all the various dynamics of family life, the travel of Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem and the journey of the Magi. I am currently praying with a 10-day Ignatian Christmastide Retreat and scenes like those depicted in the series certainly help with my imaginative prayer of the Holy Family and their experiences. It’s easy to romanticize all that unfolded for Joseph and Mary, like a storybook we’ve read a hundred times, everything easy and coordinated. This year I have found it helpful to see Jesus as a child, in need of the care of others, born to a couple who were faced with difficult decisions and less than perfect circumstances. Jesus comes in his littleness and models for us “how we are live in a relationship with him. We are invited to come to him in our poverty, weakness and littleness.” (Encountering Emmanuel, Heather Khym)

I hear a plane overhead as I write this, easily heard in the thick cloud cover of the day, and say a silent prayer for all those traveling today from family gatherings and heading back home to their own family lives and work. It was a joy to spend time with my extended family and to see the many pictures friends posted of their own Christmas celebrations. Having chosen a single contemplative life though, the holidays are different. There are certain events and experiences, invited and included or not, that aren’t the same without your own family and children. There is a distance and separation that can’t be filled, try as you might. Having lost both of my parents, it is a little like being orphaned, alone in the world. Most days I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. But holidays always bring a certain bit of melancholy for times past and sadness, missing loved ones.

On Christmas Eve, when Pope Francis opened the Holy Doors in Rome, we began a Jubilee Year of Hope. Pope Francis reminded us that hope is there for us (Spes non confundit – Bull of Indiction for the Jubilee Year of Hope). Yes, we will still worry and have times that hope feels hard to hold on to, but within each of us there lives hope. Hope that inspires each of us to look up and believe that there is more and can be more, more than this broken world and the challenges it presents. It is a hope that we carry with us, every day, despite the things that are happening in our lives and the world. It is a hope that isn’t about “happy endings” but a hope that calls us to be pilgrims of light even in the darkness, pilgrims willing to share the reason for our hope, especially to those who are feeling they have little hope to cling to. A hope that is shared with others reaches out to them as people of worthy of dignity and honor, a family sharing the Love of Christ.

Today’s Feast of the Holy Family celebrates the families that we belong to biological and spiritual. This spiritual family models for us love, respect, dignity and contemplation. My desire for this Jubilee Year is to have hope and share hope. When it is difficult I know I can look to the “supreme witness” (Spes non confundit) of hope, Mary, as Mother of God and our mother for guidance. Under her various titles, Undoer of Knots, Mother of Good Counsel, Morning Star, and so on, Mary’s mantle is large enough to encircle and protect us, to point us to the reason for her hope.

Whether your tribe is big or small, local or distant, close-knit and affectionate or detached, there is a Holy Family to which you will always be a member of. On this Feast and on the Solemnity of Mary, New Year’s Day, I invite you to reflect and spend time with this Family. You are loved here. As Sr. Miriam James says as each week with her podcast, Abiding Together, “welcome home”.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: Our Holy Family window at Holy Family Church

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!