Category: Spiritual Journey

Set the world on fire

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Catholic faith, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

Last week I talked about a couple of sports superstars so bear with me this week, I want to share another example. I was really moved by an interview with Dave Roberts, manager of the LA Dodgers, Friday night after their win over the San Diego Padres. I have NEVER heard such enthusiasm by a manager after a game as I did during that interview. Roberts was jubilant talking about his team and what they accomplished as he was interviewed by the Fox Sports Team. He talked about their fighting attitude and determination, their mindset, their belief in each other and how bonded they are, as a team, to meet the challenge of postseason baseball. Derek Jeter commented that Roberts’ job as a manager is to set up his team to succeed, congratulating Roberts for how he does that, but then asked him how long he was going to enjoy the win before turning his focus to the next game against the New York Mets (Sunday, October 13 at 7 p.m.). Roberts replied that he was going to finish his cigar, drink some good red wine and “enjoy the heck out of tonight” because he said, if he doesn’t enjoy the wins, “what the heck are we doing it for?” He then restated how proud he was of his team. He exuded enjoyment in what he does and the pride of managing his team. Roberts stands out to me because he has a vocation, a calling, to manage his sports team.

Exceptional people in other arenas are likely living out their career as a vocation. It is who they are and what they are meant to be doing in life. Life may not always have the level of excitement of winning a postseason baseball game in hopes of winning a World Series, but my guess is there is an inner joy and satisfaction that comes from dedicating life to the fulfillment of a dream.

One of my favorite quotes by a saint is attributed to St. Catherine of Siena, mystic and Doctor of the Church. St. Catherine said, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” When we have joy in our state in life, the tasks we do in a job, in our daily activities, support of the church or by helping other people, we set the world on fire because of the love of doing what we have been called to do.

I think some of us have a fear that if we surrender and submit to the will of God, God will ask us to do something we don’t want to do. We ponder that we might have to give up the things we love in order to serve God with our gifts and talents. There may be people called to that, to work in ministries or communities that require a total giving of self, property and serve obediently under the authority of someone else. But for most of us, I doubt that is what God is calling us to.

God has tremendous love for us and wants us to be happy. The surrender, giving up of attachments, comes when we desire pleasing God more than we desire those things we have been attached to. It is a matter of where our focus is. The things in life that we love are an expression of who we are and they are gifts from God. We just have to check the importance they have in our lives and whether they are burden, moving us away from our relationship with God.

So my question for us this week, I include myself in this pondering, is whether we are responding to a call to live our lives using the gifts and talents we have been given? Do we experience an inner joy in the work we are doing? If not, why are we holding back? What are we afraid of? How might we begin to take steps in that direction of being who God meant us to be? Set some time aside this week to ask these questions. The answers may not be obvious and might require some quiet thought, reflection and prayer. Be sure to ask God how you might live more authentically as the person God has called you to be, and listen for the response.

Wishing you abundant peace this week!

Deena

Photo: A status of St. Catherine of Siena that I took during my Italy pilgrimage which included a visit to Siena.

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL

Transformed hearts

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Have you ever shared with someone a health condition or that you weren’t feeling well, only to hear in response – yes I have had that too, only their illness was worse, longer, required more treatment, etc. Perhaps you were talking with a friend about a busy time in life and then they replied with their situation which is busier, more intense and requires more than your situation. You may have actually been the person that responded in that way, we all do it. When I reflect on times that I was the person listening and responding, I believe it was, in most cases, an attempt to show empathy and compassion for what the person is going through but afterwards reflected that I could have acknowledged their feelings without adding my own example.

Today’s first reading and gospel for the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time reminded me of those times of oneupmanship in life. In the first reading, the elders complain to Moses that two men who weren’t at a gathering where God bestowed the spirit upon them to prophesy were prophesying in the camp anyway. They were among the seventy elders but they didn’t follow the protocol of attending the gathering. The spirit was upon them regardless and Moses corrected the others by saying that he wished all the people were prophets and questioned their jealousy for the two men. Then in the gospel reading the apostles complained to Jesus that there were people driving out demons in Jesus’ name but weren’t part of the in group of followers. Jesus then uses it as a teaching lesson for his apostles and followers. Jesus broadened their sense of who is included and who belongs to him as a follower.

I also reflected on meetings that I attended, or comments made by someone, showed the need for a person to be in charge or make sure others know of their involvement was a critical part of making something happen. The reality is very little of what we do is on our own. First of all, it is the grace of Spirit of God that inspires us. Also, others are involved in helping us and ideas we read along the way contributed to the concept we are sharing or the work we are doing. I think of the number of things I listened to or read last night and this morning that helped with my reflection on these weekly readings. Everything I think and share is a synthesis, albeit through my personal experience, of the thoughts of those wiser than me. The Rule of St. Benedict, in Chapter 7 on Humility, reminds me that every exaltation is a kind of pride. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be proud of our accomplishments, or acknowledge them in appropriate situations, but that we check our intentions before we do so.

I immediately thought of my photo for today’s blog as I reflected on the readings this morning and what I might share with all of you. The flowers in the garden don’t compete and say I worked harder to be this color, or I grew taller than you, and they do not try to stand out above the others. They just express the beauty of their being.

I would love to be more like these flowers!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Fall into change

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, season of change, spiritual freedom, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

Last weekend I celebrated a 50 year high school reunion with friends and classmates. We had an amazing turnout, it was heartwarming to see so many return to the area for the event. The committee did an outstanding job coordinating both evenings and everyone had a good time! We laughed as we remembered past times and caught up on what was going on in our lives now. It felt like there was an easiness about who and where we are in life. It seems the adage is true, wisdom comes with age. We could relax and just be ourselves as we interacted with each other.

The reunion was the reason that I didn’t write a blog post last weekend. My routine was completely upended. I realize, the older I get, the more I enjoy my routines and familiar daily practices. However, the world didn’t fall apart because I didn’t follow my normal routine and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy a different pace for the weekend.

This morning as I sat and delighted in all of the First Day of Fall posts on social media, I reflected on change, how Fall represents a season of change for me. The Autumn Equinox, this first day of Fall, represents that half way point, astronomically, of light and darkness. I have written before about threshold times and today is one of them. We stand at a threshold of the busy seasons of spring and summer planting and harvesting and the slowing down and hibernating of late fall and winter. As things get darker we generally tend to stay in, we want to be at home and cozy. My evening activities are less frequent and by 5 p.m., especially after November’s time change, I am usually not going anywhere!

There is truth to the other popular quote shared on social media today – “The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let things go.” Perhaps this season of Fall can be a time to consider letting go of some habits, routines or behaviors that aren’t serving us. We can assess our desire to people please or receive honor and recognition (not unlike the apostles in today’s Gospel debating who was the greatest among them, Mark 9: 30-37). We can try to let go of worrying and fear of the future. It doesn’t change the outcome anyway, perhaps we can focus on more productive ways to plan and prepare for the days ahead.

I have a desire to create more balance between ministry work and play, allowing time to craft with all the new inks, stamps and paper I ordered for Halloween and Fall. I want to go for a ride and enjoy the changing colors of the leaves. I want to read some of the books I have purchased and haven’t opened yet.

I invite you to embrace this first day of Fall as an opportunity to allow change. What would you like to let go of? What would you like to embrace or have more time for in your life? Are there some self-imposed “have to’s” than can be replaced by “want to’s”?

Another post that I saw this morning represents my feelings about Fall – There are two seasons; Fall and Waiting for Fall. I am going to treasure Fall this year, creating more pauses to enjoy it. I hope you do too!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A leaf from my tree that fell, last year, near the hydrangeas that were still blooming.

Listening to hear

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I love crafting; making cards, playing with mixed media projects and dabbling with painting supplies. Sometimes an idea comes to me and I create it with ease but often I need inspiration from others. I will turn to crafting videos on YouTube by “makers” like Jennifer McGuire, Tim Holtz, Nichol Spoor, Nina Marie Traponi, Mindy Eggen and so many others to watch them as they express their immense creativity. A technique they share or a card idea created in the video helps me take a product I have and create something in my style or with my vision. Seeing what others, and listening to how and why they are using a technique, help me learn the craft and put my hands to work trying different techniques.

Early Saturday morning for my prayer time, I turned to a new podcast Wonder with the Word produced by God In All Things. The podcast was an Ignatian Contemplation (reading a scripture and then placing yourself in the scene) for children and young adults or “the childlike”, “exploring the gospels through the power of imagination and curiosity”. The podcast was recorded earlier this week so it didn’t occur to me, I hadn’t done my preparation before Vigil Mass, that it was the gospel for this weekend. The gospel of Mark 7: 31-37 is the scene with Jesus, the apostles, and the people following Jesus, bringing the deaf man to him for healing. With simple prompts, we were invited to enter the scene and watch the interactions that unfolded. I observed the people begging Jesus to lay his hands upon the deaf man, then Jesus pulling the man away from the crowd and healing him.

I considered two things in my reflection after praying with the scripture. First, Jesus pulled the man aside. I don’t think it was to hide what he was going to do from others, Jesus knew they would be watching. Rather I felt that Jesus had compassion on the man. He knew that once the man heard, if still among the people gathered, there might be the sudden shock of many voices and cheers once he revealed that he could now hear. Jesus wanted him to gently enter the world of sound again. Second, I reflected that to hear the Word of God we need to step away, to the quiet, each day to clearly hear God speaking to us. Whether we are simply reading scripture, practicing Lectio Divina, prayerfully repeating scripture and sharing our prayer with God, or Ignatian Contemplation, placing ourselves in the scene to see and hear what God has to reveal to us during the time of prayer, we need the quiet time to reflect on the Word. I heard the invitation from God to be sure to continue to set aside my daily prayer to listen and hear God speak to me.

I attended Saturday Vigil Mass and hearing the Gospel proclaimed, I entered deeper and listened more attentively as Fr. Carlson shared a similar reflection that words help us express spiritual realities and to communicate ourselves to others. We need language to share ourselves, on a real level, with the words we share. God also communicates to us in the Word. That is the reason that we listen to the Liturgy of the Word each Sunday as part of Mass, or as other congregations do each weekend. He reminded us to be open and attentive to the Word of God, to spend some time in silent prayer and meditation, shutting out useless noise. We need to go to be alone with the Lord so that he can open our ears.

As a Benedictine Oblate, in the Prologue of The Rule, we are invited to listen with the ear of the heart. Daily Lectio, or prayerfully reflecting on a scripture passage, is an important part of daily life. We are reminded to be receptive and open before we are active in the tasks of each day.

Then early this morning, listening to Bishop Barron’s sermon on the Gospel, he shared the rich background and insight typical in his Sunday Sermons on YouTube. The word “Ephphatha” means “be open”. Jesus was opening the man’s ears to hear but also reminds us to be open to hearing the Word of God, not to shut it out or off. It’s as if Jesus by placing his fingers in the man’s ears unplugs them, opens them to hearing again.

Jesus, Word made flesh, words we hear spoken from God, reminds us to do the same, in our busy lives and secular society. In most cases it won’t remind us to stop and listen to what God is calling us to. It won’t tell us listening to God is more important that listening to what the world says is important. In some cases it might even try to embarrass or chastise us for trying to hear a deeper calling. Don’t stop, don’t let it. Take time to listen each day. Spend a few minutes reading a scripture. There are plenty of great devotional books with daily scripture, but don’t just read the words. Read the scripture, pause, and listen to what God might have to say to you, what God might be inviting you to do. It might just surprise you!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Bronze angels in the Garden of Reflection at Anderson Gardens in Rockford, IL.

Ever flowing source of grace

On By dpavinatoIn care for creation, Catholic faith, contemplation, Laudato Si, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I’ve always wanted one of those fountains that is constantly flowing, the water recycling back to the top so that there is the continual movement and sound of water. Earlier this week I watched my favorite gardening channel on YouTube, Garden Answer, as they installed a new fountain in the middle of flower beds on their property. Seeing it installed rekindled a desire to have one. I know there are smaller versions that would be better suited for my small yard and patio, but of all the things I want for my yard, that probably isn’t on the top of the list. However, this weekend the image of the fountain of ever flowing water came to mind for a couple of reasons.

On Friday, for Ignatian Ministries, we hosted a virtual gathering of spiritual directors for a quarterly “collective”. The presenter led us through a discussion of images of God and how helping a directee reflect on and gain better insight of their image of God is beneficial in spiritual direction. The person who led prayer offered a litany of words to invoke possible images. Two that glimmered for me were “wisdom” and “Sophia”, words that have been on my mind this week in morning prayer reading scriptures from Sirach and Wisdom. “Send her forth from your holy heavens and from your glorious throne dispatch her that she may work with me, that I may know what is pleasing to you. For she knows and understands all things, and will guide me prudently in my affairs and safeguard me by her glory.” Wisdom 9: 10-11

On Saturday, I listened to a presentation by Sr. Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, for a women’s faith conference earlier this summer, reflecting on the gift of God’s love as the source “from whom all good things come” (Collect, Tenth Week in Ordinary Time). In our littleness and narrow perception, we limit the abundant love and goodness that God has for us and can either “resist, reject or refuse” that love. When we do, we close ourselves off from seeing and responding to the call and the generous gifts we have been given. But even if we do, the love never ceases.

Today I reflect on Pope Francis’ call, the 9th anniversary, for a World Day of Prayer for the Care of Creation. This year’s theme is “Hope and Act with Creation”. The earth is a continual act of creation and new birth. But we must protect it. Pope Francis says “To hope and act with creation, then, means above all to join forces and to walk together with all men and women of good will. In this way, we can help to rethink, ‘among other things, the question of human power, its meaning and its limits.'” The beauty of creation in forests and wild flowers, beautiful clouds and sunsets, the soothing sounds of ocean waves or the bees busy this morning flying in and out of my purple petunias all reflect limitless creativity and generous love. How I treat and care for creation limits my response to God’s love, it does not limit the lavish love God pours into creation each day.

My point in each of my examples is that God’s wisdom, love for us, and constant gift of creation is endless and abundant. Each day is a gift if we slow down enough to embrace it. No matter what we have done or been in life, we cannot turn off the unceasing graces that are there for us, if only we will receive them. We have to open our hearts, that are often frightened and hardened by the world, to allow that love to flow freely from God to us.

This Labor Day weekend, let us pause from our labor and busy lives, and reflect on this bountiful love, a love that never stops flowing out to and upon us.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A fountain in a piazza in Assisi, Italy

A tapestry of connections

On By dpavinatoIn Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

This week I made plans to take a day off and have lunch with a friend. As we were planning, she said that she mentioned to her parish priest, a former paster at my hometown parish, that we were going to meet. He asked how I was and what I was doing. As I sat down to journal in the morning, I decided to write him a quick letter and send a belated birthday greeting. I summarized all that has gone on the past few months. As I drove Friday to visit with my friend, the letter fresh in my mind, I reflected on his time at my parish. He invited me to be on our parish council and be part of a diocesan committee. I was a lector then as I am now. He held adult religious education classes which I attended. So we got to know each other over his time at our parish. More importantly, I remember that he came to the hospital the Sunday afternoon my mother fell and we were waiting to move her to a larger medical facility due to a spinal injury. I also remember the conversations we would have as I gave him updates after her surgery and my daily drives back and forth, an hour each way, to the hospital each day. He encouraged me to take care of myself too. Of all the homilies he gave and lessons he taught us in class, his compassion is the thing that I remember most about him!

This week I read a poem by Becky Hemsley, titled Patchwork, from her book Talking to the Wild: The bedtime stories we never knew we needed.

Your life is like a quilt

And everybody weaves their share

Some weave huge great tapestries

And some weave tiny squares…

It can feel like all of the moments that we are living in life are ones that we decide upon and take action on. But they are influenced by so many people and events in our lives. Things as simple as a song, a smell, a voice can take us back to a time and place that had an influence on who we are today. Someone’s compassion, or lack of attention, can influence how we respond to new situations as they arise.

But every little thread

That weaves its joy and pain and fun

Has stitched a quilt together

Of the person you’ve become…

As you reflect on your life (I like the practice of doing this each day, using a process called the Examen), give thanks for the people who influenced you in a positive way. If you have the chance, thank them or simply reach out and say hello. As you assess your reactions that are less desirable, consider how and where you might have learned this reaction. Reflect on how you would prefer to respond. Ask for the grace to do better. Consider it all gift!

So I know there are squares that comfort you

And some that you dislike

But without them all you wouldn’t have

This patchwork of your life

To read Becky’s entire poem, visit her Facebook page, Becky Hemsley Poetry. It’s a beautiful poem!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A quilt that my sister-in-law Stacie made for the grandchildren to play on when visiting. It’s a beautiful symbol of the fabric of their lives together.

Turning of time

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

The school children in our area are back to school. There are holiday movies on TV and halloween decorations have been emerging in the marketplace. I have to admit I have picked up a couple of Fall items already and I look forward to unpacking some of the seasonal items that I bring out each year. I am ready to switch colors in the house and bring out my favorite orange/pumpkin, yellows, tans and browns. Sunflowers, mums and chrysanthemums will soon be replacing the brighter pinks and purples in the flower pots. I can’t wait to see the leaves change on the trees. I usually want to linger there longer than the season lasts though. If I had my wish it would start earlier, replacing those excessive heat days that always seem to come when the children are attending full days during September, and last until early December when I am ready to switch gears, slowly reflect on the season of Advent and prepare for Christmas.

But nature doesn’t wait to hear our desires for the year. It simply moves on.

Sunday, August 18 marks another moving on of time for me, another year around the sun. One of my favorite traditions, borrowed from Dr. Troy Amdahl, of OolaLife.com is to move a marble from one jar to another to mark the passing of another year. I added a step of placing the new marble for the year, representing all the opportunities and experiences the year will hold, in a small glass holder in the middle. The full jar represents each of the years I have lived so far. I have to admit when I decided on the number of marbles to put in the future jar many years ago it seemed as though I had plenty. The jar is looking pretty empty right now! I’ve got time, hopefully lots of it, to decide when to replenish the jar on the right and how many marbles to add.

My marble is a visual reminder each morning when I wake that I have been gifted with another day and that this day is the only day that matters, the only day to focus on (or at least give it our best shot!). It’s good to set goals and think about the future. If you know me, you know I love to do that! However, what we do with the day we have been given is what matters!

I am blessed with a wonderful family, good friends, a supportive parish, the Monastery and my Oblate community, and an abundant number of spiritual guides and mentors. I am grateful for my job at Ignatian Ministries and the work we do accompanying others on their spiritual journeys. Even though I have items on my wish life and places I hope to visit, I have everything that I need in life. I am extremely grateful for all of it!

This week I used a blessing from Macrina Weideker from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day for our team meeting. I had the opportunity to meet Macrina and spend a joyous dinner with her, during an Oblate conference. She was a person who was present to and enjoyed the hours of her day. Some of my favorite lines from the section on the Hour of Illumination and the short prayer, O Warmth and Energy of the Sun are “Renew my commitment to the tasks of this day. Lead me to my courage…Enliven my growing moments.” So if there is anything I ask for this year it is enliven the growing moments in my life and be led to my courage, to stand in my wisdom and to be more of the person that God calls me to be.

Join me in celebrating this once in a lifetime, brand new day, that each of us have been given today, whether it is your birthday or not. Live it to the best of your ability. Appreciate the gifts you have been given. Deena

Note: I edit and schedule the blog posts for our Into the Deep blog for Ignatian Ministries. This week I was also a writer, which I have done a couple of times a year. Visit our blog Sunday night after 6 p.m. to read my post or go to the website and subscribe to receive our blogs in an email each week on Monday morning. We have amazing writers and each of the articles in our various series will share insights and will “accompany you into deeper waters of faith.”

Photo: My marble jars

Landscapes of our lives

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred seeing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey1 Comment

Besides living in upstate New York for a few years in the 60’s, I have lived in the Midwest all of my life. Even when I left Illinois to work for Electronic Data Systems on the General Motors account in Michigan, the move was only to a small suburb of Detroit. The seasons were almost exactly the same as Illinois.

The changing seasons have always been part of my life. As much as I am ready for Fall now, because of the excessive heat and humidity of this summer, I wouldn’t trade the seasons for anything. Each change of season becomes a threshold place, marking the “next thing” whether it was returning to school, beginning college, preparing for holidays or making goals for a new year.

For me the changing seasons – Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter remind me of the birth, growth, decline and rest or death in life, relationships, stages of becoming who we are over and over again, like a huge spiral continuing ever deeper.

Saturday morning as I drove past tall fields of corn on the way to the veterinary clinic for medicine and food for the cats, I enjoyed seeing the height of the corn stalks and reflected on how much they have grown since the little sprouts that are my favorite sign of Spring and seasons of planting. The bright blue expansive sky invited me to breathe deep after a busy week and relish the day.

While I was driving I was listening to the latest podcast, Fire and Light, with Tessa Bielecki and David Denny, two “urban hermits” in Tucson, Arizona. This month’s episode is “The Seed and the Space that Changed You.” Tessa and David describe their separate journeys to Sedona, their instant love of the red rock and open skies of the desert, and their eventual work together at the Spiritual Life Institute. Since then they have co-created Sand and Sky, the Desert Foundation exploring the wisdom of the desert in various spiritual traditions. I am more familiar with Tessa from her teaching and writing of St. Teresa of Avila but I love each new blog post and podcast and the conversations between Tessa and David. They have become two spiritual teachers of desert wisdom for me.

As they talked they posed questions about the landscapes that have been a part of our lives. They asked us to consider how the landscape formed us, what impact it had on us and how it might have influenced our relationship with the earth and with God. They also asked us to consider books or teachers that were pivotal in shaping who we are today.

As I listened I thought also of significant places on my journey and how they have formed me – living in Saugerties/Woodstock New York in the late 60’s, the Campus Ministry office at the private Catholic college I attended and the friends made while in college, the Newman Center during graduate school, my first job at a college as a counselor, the natural food shops and bookstores in Royal Oak, Mi., then moving back to Illinois and opening my own business and all my encounters with those who shopped there. Landscapes can be places and people, as much as the topography.

I invite you to spend some time thinking about the landscapes that have formed you, the people that inspired you and the places that have been important in becoming the person you are today.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Sunsets in the Midwest are amazing! This photo was taken outside my home.

Tending the soil

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Eucharistic Revival, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

By March or April I am ready for the spring flowers and sprouts of plants that begin to emerge in my flower beds. The early crocus, grape hyacinth, and jonquils bring bright color as the drab palette of winter begins to disappear for another year. I start checking out plants at the garden centers, dusting off the ceramic pots and deciding where I will use them and colors of plants that I will pair together. I buy good organic potting mix to help support the growth of the plants I will purchase. I start out so enthusiastic! I promise the plants I will do a better job of feeding them throughout the season.

Then June, July and August arrive. Frankly I do my best just to keep my plants watered daily. There just isn’t enough time for the care I want to provide. I let life get in the way of caring for my plants, which is also a way I renew my spirit.

This year I lost a couple of flowers in pots, in the back of the house, where they receive full sun every day. They were full sun plants but I guess the heat was too much for them. Yesterday I picked up replacement annuals for those pots and a new perennial for a spot I decided to pull out a plant that isn’t thriving. For some reason I found myself thinking about the daily gospel readings of this week, from the Gospel of Matthew, in which Jesus teaches with the parables of seed that falls on good, rich soil and the seed that is withered by the sun or doesn’t grow because of shallow or rocky soil.

Last week I mentioned the National Eucharistic Congress in my blog. My friend Kelly and I were supposed to attend as parish representatives. We were registered, had hotel reservations and were looking forward to a renewal, a revival in devotion to the Blessed Sacrament not only in our personal spiritual lives but for our parish. Then life happened. We each had different issues that arose so we had to be honest about our ability to attend the Congress. We knew we had to cancel. We knew it was the right decision but as it grew closer, we were also disheartened by our decision and not being with others in Indianapolis for this momentous event, the first Eucharistic Congress in 83 years.

I planned to watch the Revival sessions each evening, and as many other talks as I could, grateful for the gift of live-streaming and those covering the Congress making it accessible to those of us at home. But I was sad about not being there in person. Then the grace of the Holy Spirit surprised me with the extent of the impact of participating in the event remotely. Because of the tears and raw emotions I was feeling, I was probably better off watching from home. I could sing, cry, laugh and pray with only the cats wondering what the heck was going on. I felt a renewed spirit. I was challenged and convicted in areas that I need to take a deep look at. I continue to ponder the way I am using my gifts and how I might be called to use them differently or in new ways.

In closing his talk, Fr. Mike Schmitz, asked us to look at the areas of our lives where we put out the flame of love of God, the “fire extinguishers” or areas we let the world get in the way of a desire to love God more intimately. He also reminded us that we can’t take all the lessons and desires from Congress and jam them back into daily life without making some changes. I assessed that in my life. I committed to some daily changes and expanded prayer time in order to listen to God more closely.

Then almost a week later, stress and inner turmoil, set in just like the heat of summer, scorching my desires, just like it scorched the plants on my back patio. I chastised myself for only being able to keep my new promises for more than 4 days. Thursday and Friday were rough as I berated myself for not being dedicated enough. Then, reflecting on the scripture from this week, I found myself thinking that we have to nurture and tend the soil of our spiritual lives daily so that the birds don’t come and pluck the seeds of change away. The seeds in good, rich soil are not completely protected from the heat and the birds but they have a better chance of surviving. So I asked myself what I needed to do to make sure the seeds of my desire to spend more time in quiet contemplation were planted in deep and fertile soil.

The world will try to grab our attention and tell us that our desires are not possible or perhaps even worth working at. It will tell us that superficial pleasures are more valuable than inner peace and tranquility. It will tell us that our deepest desires are not possible. I think I would rather fertilize the soil and keeping working at it, even when it’s hard! If you find yourself in a similar place, don’t give up! I’m here for you, be assured of my prayers for each of you.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: flowers growing in a wooded area in Oregon, Illinois