Category: spiritual freedom

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Listen and hear

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

On Friday of this week I read the daily reflection by Fr. Michael Casey, “Christ in our ear” in Give Us This Day. We studied Fr. Casey’s books in our Benedictine Oblate study so, when I see his name in the daily reflections, I am always ready to listen to what he has to say. Early in his post he says “The world is full of surprises and it is only by responding creatively to the unexpected that we allow the full power of our latent potential to emerge. Mere routine can’t do this.” As I have been trying to contemplate a more creative perspective of my retirement years, I was moved by that statement.

I also reflected on the previous day. I sat glued to my computer screen on Thursday morning, believing for some reason that the vote for our new Pope would come early. All of the announcers were saying if the vote came Thursday, it would more likely be the vote later in the day. I kept watching, I had an inkling to stay put. But I still gasped as I saw the white smoke swirl from the chimney around the pair of doves and their little one on the roof of the Sistine Chapel. “We have a Pope” I quickly texted friends!

To learn that an American, Illinois-born, dual citizen of Peru and missionary, was selected to be our Pope was a complete surprise. I saw Cardinal Prevost’s name on lists but never in a million years would I have imagined an American pope! Seeing his experience, it’s easy to understand how his brother Cardinals placed their confidence in his ability but it still seems unbelievable, in the most wonderful way! Every video I watch and Vatican News update on his speeches and homilies excite me even more. He is a man of deep faith. A man of service, asking “God to help us all live “in service to one another…capable of helping one another to walk in love and truth.” He is a voice of peace and building bridges. A voice that we so desperately need!

I watched all the reports and commentaries about his vocation story. It was fascinating to learn that even as a young boy he knew he wanted to be a priest, then discerned the life of an Augustinian friar and missionary priest vs Diocesan life. I was touched by his visit to a Shrine outside of Rome, dedicated to the Mother of Good Counsel in Genazzano which has been run by Augustinians since the 1200’s. He made his profession to the Order of Saint Augustine in the Province of Our Lady of Good Counsel of Chicago in 1978 then solemn vows in 1981. Our Lady of Good Counsel is a special Marian title to me, so I love his devotion to her under that name. (And the image I selected, from a chapel I visited on the grounds of the Shrine of our Lady of Guadalupe in LaCrosse, WI for today’s blog).

On Saturday evening I watched the debut of a rookie pitcher in a Chicago Cubs game against the New York Mets. Cade Horton’s mother shared the joy of seeing her son’s dream come true. She shared that he wanted to be a baseball player since he was little and the broadcasters shared an adorable t-ball picture in a Cubs jersey.

I only know one other person, personally, who has been laser focused on what they wanted to be from a very young age. Seeing that dream come to life for him has been an inspiring journey. He also is someone I see as destined for greatness in his career. I wonder about hearing a call and having the courage to remain steadfast to it throughout life. Do some of us know early? Do some have a special ability to hear and respond to a call?

A few years ago someone wrote me and stated that, throughout my life, I have been ignoring a call to religious life. That may or may not be true, but I responded that there are many ways to respond to God’s call and that I felt living a single life, outside of a community, was my journey. But somehow I am still on a path of discernment. Would that be the case if I had said “yes” to the invitation in the 1990’s?

In a small book on discernment of personal vocation through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, Fr. Herbert Alphonso, S.J. says that the unique, true and deepest part of the self is our personal vocation. He suggests that the deepest transformation in any of our lives takes place when we live out that vocation. It doesn’t have to be to religious life (but my continued prayers for all those who choose this as their path in life), or have to be discerned early or late in chronological years. But he shares from his years of experience walking with and leading individuals through the Exercises and retreats, that confirmation of a personal vocation is “written into one’s concrete history and into the inner dynamism (that is, movement of the inner forces) of one’s life.” He goes on to say that the manifestation of that vocation may change with life circumstances but the unique way that the Spirit calls us never changes. (Discovering Your Personal Vocation, Herbert Alphonso, SJ)

Perhaps some of us listen more carefully. Maybe some of us are more stubborn. But I turn to the Saints and great teachers of my faith to know that sometimes the response to the call happens at various stages in life. I have hope in that knowledge.

Fr. Casey in his reflection, mentioned above, states that we would be wise to consider that God may be speaking to us even when our lives are turning out a little different than expected. That perhaps we are being asked to change course. The key is listening and remaining open.

He concluded his reflection by suggesting that we respond, not expecting to understand what we are called to completely, it remains a mystery for us but that “Saying ‘Yes’ gives us entrance to a world beyond our reasoning”.

This week let us be open to hearing that small voice that calls us to more in life. Let us pray for the grace to be receptive to an invitation to change course if needed or simply a more discerning ear to listen. In doing so, let it bring forth more surprises and peace as we live out our individual and unique call in life.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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A story to tell

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Lenten journey, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality4 Comments

You’ve probably heard or used the phrase, “what’s their story”, when someone is inquiring about another person. It suggests that the person in question has a backstory or anthropology that will help us understand them more deeply. This week was a wonderful lesson in being open to learning more about others and being open to what might be going on behind the scenes of the exterior I am seeing. I have two examples that touched me and a captivating discussion I would like to share. They have radically changed my outlook and I hope you find them helpful as well.

This week in spiritual direction I was sharing my need to grow in compassion and patience with others, especially when out driving and doing errands. I try to be courteous and mindful of others but darn, there are days I feel like I am the only one. I am working on stopping a negative or condemnatory response before it explodes in my mind. My director shared a video, made by Cleveland Clinic, that she has used when working with others. It is helpful when trying to be more compassionate and understanding about what might be going on in another person’s life. Wow! Tears flowed. The video, Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care, was made in a hospital setting sharing thoughts of various individuals working at or experiencing treatment at a hospital. It’s only slightly over 4 minutes. I highly recommend it!

After watching that video, I am trying to look at others differently, with more openness. As I walked around a grocery store yesterday, I felt the desire to be more tenderhearted. Later in the day I found an interesting new page to follow on Instagram (but also on Facebook), a_mug_of_life. A young filmmaker in England began posting his encounters with others by offering them a cup of tea and asking them to share their story and letting them know he was going to film their discussion. He only has 8 posts so far this year and every single person captivated me. Ordinary looking people with amazing stories of courage, perseverance, love and tenderness. Stories that I wouldn’t know if Will hadn’t offered them a cup to tea and asked them a few simple questions about their life. I look forward to new videos! I was grateful for the timely reminder, after watching the Cleveland Clinic video, of the stories that people are walking around with.

Earlier in the week I watched an interview of Padraig O Tuama, a poet, theologian and conflict mediator that I read and follow. The interview was done by, author and podcaster, Kate Bowler. If Kate sounds familiar, I’ve shared her writing in the past, but last week shared parts of her interview with retired Duke basketball coach, “Coach K”, regarding leadership. I like Kate but I was very curious because this wasn’t an interview pairing I would ever have imagined. Padraig was brilliant as usual, especially talking about his experience with conflicts in Ireland and his perspective on ways to see political conflict differently. He shared some precious examples of leading retreats with children and allowing them space to encounter Jesus in their imaginations, highlighting in a different way, what can happen when we nurture openness and creative thinking. Finally he shared how he approaches groups when doing conflict mediation, using the Johari Window concept of the fourth quadrant, what is unknown to the self and unknown to others. He explained that it is useful to begin by saying, I don’t know why any of those gathered are there and that, initially, what holds the group together is just the physical space of being there. He said it is fruitful to begin with an openness and willingness to nurture that space without expectations. It might allow for the imagination and curiosity to occur. Kate acknowledged that this might be helpful when we are afraid that division will “take us all apart”. Padraig replied, “Division is everywhere, the question is what we do with it.” His perspective was refreshing.

I might not be able to impact a lot of people by implementing these simple things I was reminded of this week. But I certainly can try to be more open and curious when listening to others and a little more compassionate about what others might have going on in their lives when I encounter them. I dare to say that this perspective would do us all a bit of good.

I’d love to hear from you if you have the opportunity to watch the videos or visit Will’s social media page.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Photo: A piazza in Assisi where I enjoyed an expresso during my 2023 pilgrimage.

Clearing the distractions

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, Life in the Spirit, Poverty of Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, UncategorizedLeave a comment

A couple of weeks ago I read the blog by Catherine Smith, in her Hem of the Light email entitled “Sometimes to tell is to transfigure”, in which she said, “Peter came to the mountain with an old story.  It wasn’t a bad story.  It just didn’t quite fit.  It constricted his sight.  He looked at it without being able to look through it.” The Gospel of Luke, that we read this weekend, for the Transfiguration, says that Peter seeing Jesus’ glory wants to build three tents for Jesus, Moses and Elijah. It then says “But he did not know what he was saying”. Jesus wanted Peter, James and John to get a glimpse of his glory so that they were readied for the difficult times ahead, witnessing his arrest and crucifixion. Peter wanted to move into action versus simply being present to the unity of Jesus and his Father, a glimpse of heaven.

Our old stories can get in the way of what God wants to reveal as possible to us. We say “it’s too late”, “I’m too old”, “I’m not smart enough”, or maybe as we move further in Lent “it’s too hard, what difference does this make anyway (i.e., “this” being the thing I am trying to do more of or have “given up”)? All of these can be temptations by the false spirit to move you further away from experiencing Jesus and growing closer to him in silence and prayer and discovering more about the fullness of life with him. We are tempted to think that the restoration and wholeness we seek during Lent isn’t possible. We might be seduced into believing that we can’t come out the other side of Lent as a different person.

In February, during his reflection on the Transfiguration mystery, on the Rosary in a Year podcast, Fr. Mark Mary used an analogy that captured my attention. He said that if you stand in Times Square in New York at night, you only see the lights, you can’t see the dark sky. The lights blind us to the reality of night above all the lights. With this analogy in mind, the lights of the world make it hard to see the beauty and brilliance of Jesus’ glory, unless we step away, reduce the distractions, so that we can see what’s really beautiful and get a glimpse of that which we have been created for. The other morning, as I went outside to watch the lunar eclipse, I was grateful for the clear skies and darkness of the night sky so that I could experience this wonder in the celestial dome. I couldn’t see the eclipse from inside my house, I had to step out and away, I had to look up to experience it.

Jesus wants us to experience wholeness and healing in our hearts and in our lives. If you haven’t started yet, or have been tempted to give up already, what might you let go of during these remaining weeks of Lent to make more room for an encounter with Christ? Are there some distractions that you can clear away to make space to listen more carefully?

This time of Lent has been revealing to me the impact of distractions and noise on my prayer life and, honestly, my stress level. I pray for the grace to continue with the same level of discipline so that I continue to be transformed during these forty days.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: Starved Rock State Park on a March day, several years ago, similar to today with fresh snowfall.

Note: It’s not too late to register for my Lent Evening of Reflection, Make My Heart Like Your Heart, this Thursday, March 20 at 6:30 p.m. The suggested donation is $19 and all proceeds will be sent to Catholic Relief Services and the Rice Bowl project. I am not a non-profit so please be sure to mark donation to Catholic Relief Services on your check so that you have a record of your donation for your taxes. You can contact me in the comments, or on social media, if you would like to attend and receive a Zoom link for the event, as well as the address to mail the check. It will be a time of prayer and reflection, as well as sharing, on three scripture passages reflecting on ways that we might have a heart more like that of Christ.

A revolutionary vision

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, a season of hope, Art and new vision, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Sacred Heart of Jesus, Sacred Heart of Jesus, spiritual healing, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Lately the range of emotions I experience each day feel as though I am riding a roller coaster. I might note, I am not a fan of roller coasters! I try to ignore the news and take deep breaths but it can be overwhelming. I stopped watching the news (preferring to read updates by well versed political historians and fact-finders) but still come across posts with quotes by our leaders, elected or not, that are filled with such hate, delusion and self supremacy that I feel like giving up completely. But I know it is not the time to give in or to be silent. I also know that the people and things of this world are not the things that really matter, they are not my ultimate purpose or goal. My stability and sanity come from trying to balance each day with things that bring some relief, some joy, some hope. Thankfully there are an abundance of uplifting and life-giving posts, essays, articles and events that help me counter the negativity and vitriol.

As my thoughts for writing this post jumbled around all week, I thought of sharing an experience I had a couple of weekends ago, attending a fireside poetry reading by Scottish poet Kenneth Steven, hosted by friend Pat Leyko Connelly, also a published poet. He read from his book, Atoms of Delight: Ten Pilgrimages in Nature. I won’t share more details of the event as my friend Judith Valente, does so eloquently this morning, in her blog, along with other thoughtful reflections on finding wonder during these turbulent times. But, a significant moment during the event came for me as Kenneth Steven read a story of one of the significant “atoms of delight” in his life, being the first to gather the freshly fallen chestnuts from a tree in the early dawn. I recalled one of my own “atoms”. I spent some of my grade school years living in a small town in the area of the Catskill Mountains in New York. In a wooded area behind our home there was a huge rock (likely only 5 feet but in my memory it was massive) and giant pine trees. We would venture in the freshly fallen snow, shake the tree branches on each other and play on and around the rock. It was my own personal energy portal. Nature was alive and filled me with joy and wonder, an “atom of delight”.

In a personal post on social media this weekend I shared an article entitled “A Spell Against Stagnation”, a reflection on the writings of John O’Donohue, another poet that lifts my heart and spirit, on a site called The Marginalian (link to website but you can find on Facebook). Founder Maria Popova shares articles with endless links and spirals of creativity and nourishment. Statements from Maria, like “Kneeling to look at a lichen is a devotional act”, remind me to stop and look for those moments of wonder. I appreciate the beauty and sensitivity of her artwork, bird divinations, from An Almanac of Birds: Divinations for Uncertain Days which you can find on her website or Facebook page (and soon available in a card deck as a pre-order on Amazon).

Another simple practice that I implement each day as part of morning and/or evening prayer is a gratitude or wonder list. In a blog or article by writer and retreat facilitator, Mary DeTurris Poust, I was intrigued by a different approach to my daily list. Mary shared that she numbers her three daily posts in an ongoing list, which was now in the thousands. I began mine at the time of the reading and as of this morning have reached 215. This list is part of my daily Examen (a practice of reflecting on the graces, consolations and desolations of each day) journal. It helps me look for those moments of wonder, those small “atoms of delight” in each day.

Today a homily written by Pope Francis, read by Cardinal Jose Tolentino de Mendoza, challenged artists [poets, writers, visual artists…] to be “witnesses of the revolutionary vision of the Beatitudes”. The Pope said that living the Beatitudes and expressing them in art [and I would add the expression of our lives] was a way to reveal “ truth and goodness …hidden within the folds of history”, and “giving voice to the voiceless”. “‘Artists have the task, the Pope said, of “helping humanity not to lose its way’”. (Vatican News, February 16, 2025)

If you seek solace these days I encourage you to read poetry, listen to music or reflect on art. Visit some of the writers or poets I mention today or find others that inspire you to look at life differently. If you write, continue to do so. If you draw, paint or create mixed media journals, keep going. If you have longed to pick up and learn to play a musical instrument, it’s not too late. Do it for you, not to change the world at large, but to change yours. Find joy and express it. It just might make each day a bit more lovely!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Another note: I mentioned offering a Lent Night of Reflection a couple of weeks ago. I am still working on a webpage and more sophisticated registration process, but that all takes time. I decided to move forward anyway. The mini retreat will be “Make My Heart Like Your Heart: Encounter and Change of Heart” on Thursday, March 20 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Central Time. The suggested donation for the event is $19. I will keep working on a registration process but it might be as simple as a PayPal or Venmo payment for my first event. During the event we will reflect on the things in the world that consume our heart and attention, our need and desire to give and receive forgiveness, and ways that we can pour out our love to God in a personal and sincere way. I am excited to offer this and I hope you will be able to join me. For now, you can email me, private message me or add a comment to this post on my website adding “Retreat” to the beginning of your comment and I won’t approve (or will hide) that comment to be shown on the website.

Photo: A print of Bernini’s “The Ecstacy of St. Teresa of Avila” that hangs in my office.

The light we carry

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

By the great and small lights we mark our days and seasons, we brighten the night and bring warmth to our winter, and in these lights we see light…” (Catholic Household Blessings & Prayers)

Today is Candlemas. In many churches and parishes the faithful are invited to bring candles to have blessed for use during the year. The candles represent the Light of Christ in the world. Today is also known as the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord (February 2nd). It is unusual that a Feast Day has priority over a Sunday but has been elevated because it falls on a Sunday in Ordinary Time. Today’s feast is also the official end of the Christmas season marking 40 days after Jesus’ birth and the presentation of the child Jesus in the temple, according to the law. We see and ponder on this holy day the fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy that the glory of the Lord would return to the temple (Ezekiel 10:8, the glory of the Lord left the temple but will return Ezekiel 43). Simeon, and the prophetess Anna, rejoice as they recognize what is happening. They have been waiting for this day, but they needed eyes to see. They were alert in their waiting and hoping for the coming of the Messiah.

As a Benedictine Oblate, I pray each day to hear the words of Scripture with the “ear of the heart” (Prologue of St. Benedict) but this week I also prayed to see with the “eyes of the heart”. I was seeking to see things in a new way and to have the grace to see where the Lord is leading me (and the Lord did not disappoint!).

As Mary listened to the words of Simeon, rejoicing that he has seen the Messiah but also proclaiming the sorrow Mary will encounter (“and you yourself a sword will pierce”) as she continues her unique journey in and with Jesus, she pondered or reflected on each day with Jesus and what was being revealed to her. We need to have similar eyes of faith as we make our pilgrim journey in life.

As part of night prayer each evening, we pray the beautiful words of Simeon “Lord, now let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled: my own eyes have seen the salvation which you prepared in the sight of every people: a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of the people Israel.”

May our eyes be open to the Light. May we remember that we carry that Light with us and bring it to others. May we look for the ways we encounter the Christ each day and then rejoice as we close our eyes, as we prepare to rest, each night.

“In the beauty of these candles, keep us in quiet and in peace, keep us safe and turn our hearts to you that we may ourselves be light for our world.” (Catholic Household Blessings & Prayers)

Note: As a follow up to my mention of a new undertaking, True to Self Living, that I will be introducing this Spring or Summer, I would like to share something that I have been praying about this week. I am working on a Lent night of reflection and prayer, later in March. “Make my heart like your heart” will be an evening of listening to prayer, reflecting on the words of scripture as we make our Lenten journey, time for discussion and even a little personal creative reflection for our prayer. More details to follow and I hope you will be drawn to consider this as part of your Lenten prayer.

Freely choose what seems good

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

Have you ever spent so much time weighing options, an action to take or a decision to make, that you never really take a step or make a move? “What is the better of these two choices? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I don’t have enough information to decide?” We can paralyze ourselves with indecision.

This past week was the feast day of St. Francis de Sales, a saint known for his kind and gentle spiritual direction. St. Francis de Sales is a Doctor of the Catholic Church, The Doctor of Divine Love. The title of Doctor is given to saints who are recognized for having a significant impact on theology or doctrine as a result of their work and writing/teaching. He was the spiritual director to St. Jane de Chantal, another saint I regard highly because of her courage and patience in the face of the challenges she encountered and her desire to help others, especially the poor. St. Francis de Sales reminded St. Jane, when she desired to enter a religious community after the death of her husband, that there was holiness in her daily tasks as a mother and that being faithful to the real life in front of her each day was a way to become holy. Eventually he counseled her to begin a new order of women, The Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary or The Visitation Sisters. St. Francis also had a temper and struggled with resentment, but he believed that the spiritual life is made up of mistakes we learn and grow from. For this reason, I also have a special fondness for him and his teaching.

He wrote of making decisions, especially when faced with two good options, “as S. Basil says, freely choose what seems to us good, so as not to weary our spirit, lose time, and put ourselves in danger of disquiet, scruples, and superstition. But I mean always where there is no great disproportion between the two works, and where there is no considerable circumstance on one side more than on the other.” He said that we should pray and ask for clarity from the Holy Spirit, seek the guidance of a spiritual director or one or two spiritual friends and then “devoutly, peacefully, and firmly keep and pursue it.”

We can hold ourselves back by saying that we don’t have this skill or aptitude or that someone else is better equipped with a particular gift. We can focus on the abilities of others and neglect to see the good that we can do with the talents we have been given.

Today and last Sunday, Second and Third Sunday in Ordinary Time, the second reading has been from the Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. In this letter, St. Paul is advising the church of Corinth that the Spirit of God gives different gifts and forms of service, different parts of the body that all make up the Body of Christ. We are all given our own unique talent to serve those around us. Each of these is necessary for a healthy and thriving community. All of these gifts are valuable to the whole.

In another profound weekly article by Maria Shriver, she considers how to find peace in the world, peace after the devastation of the LA Fires and peace as we navigate change in our country. She states that the way to build something new is to build from within, “to get quiet, to truly bring our peaceful selves to the table.” “Listening, trying to understand, caring for another, loving another, bestowing grace, forgiveness, kindness, and mercy on another—that’s something each of us can do.” Simple but dramatic ways to have an impact.

I have been considering this for myself, in this new year of 2025. Beginning this Spring, I will be adding a new page to this site (or perhaps a new site), mini-courses and ways to connect with each other as I launch a new venture into the world. True To Self Living will be a journey of being our most authentic self in the world. We will use practices from various disciplines such as faith and spirituality, mindfulness, creativity and wellness to live a life that allows the full expression of who we are, a way to come home to ourselves. I believe, like Maria, that when we do this we also have a positive impact on the world.

What gifts do you have and offer to those around you? In what ways do you, or can you, serve your family and friends, making a positive impact on their day? What ways might you get quiet and bring peace and concern, a gentleness like St. Francis de Sales, to those you encounter? Let’s work together to bring peace to the world in a way that only we can.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: a sign I saw on the wall at Tea Room at the Depot in Mackinaw, IL.

Poverty of spirit

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Life in the Spirit, Poverty of Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality2 Comments

I participated in Judith Valente’s “Writing the Prologue to Your New Year”, a retreat I look forward to each January. Part of the retreat is to reflect on our “word of the year”. This tradition of considering a word for the new year goes back to the 2nd or 3rd century when individuals seeking spiritual insight and wisdom would go to one of the Desert Fathers or Mothers and “ask for a word”. Most of us don’t have a desert monastery of wise elders to seek out. Most of us don’t even have a spiritual father or mother who knows us well enough to provide that “word” based on their insight to the spiritual journey we are on. We are left to our own discovery, discernment or discrimination of the word that can carry us through the new year.

This past week, words emerged like kernels popping up in a popcorn popper or one of those bingo cages that you spin to pull out the next important letter in the game. Words were tossed and spinning all week and I had a long list to sit with on Friday before sharing my word on Saturday morning. It isn’t my word for 2025 or phrase, (sets of words are ok to choose, there aren’t any rules!) but “poverty of spirit” kept capturing my attention all week. It kept coming up as part of reflections I was reading or podcasts I have been listening to in the new year. So I kept pondering what it might mean, for me, as the phrase kept presenting itself over and over.

One example of trust and humility that was shared in a podcast was that as young children we turn to our parents when asked a question like “what would you like to order to eat” or “to drink”. We, as children, aren’t aware of all the options or what is acceptable, so we turn to a trusting adult to help us decide. Poverty of spirit is the same type of humility or dependence on God as God’s children, turning to the One who can help us see more clearly.

I reflected earlier this week (my first mid-week reflection) on President Jimmy Carter’s funeral services. He certainly seemed to be a man with a poverty of spirit, a will to serve God and others, before self, always looking for ways to be attentive to what God desired for him to do and where he was needed to help others.

As I reflected on these two examples I determined that I can’t be open to hear or listen when my “hands” and mind are grasping tightly to what I think I need to do or be. My tendency is to anxiously hurry up and figure out the next step. This can create confusion or perhaps beginning to go down a path that isn’t the “right” one. I realize that I need an open spirit, willing to ask, “God, I don’t know what I want, or even what the options are (because I surely can’t see them all) or what is best for me, so will you help me decide?”

Jesus’ Baptism, that we remember as we end the Christmas season today, was not a baptism that Jesus needed. It was a baptism for the rest of us. As Fr. Paul Carlson, my parish pastor, shared in his homily, St. Gregory of Nazianzus said that “when Jesus rises from the waters, the whole world rises with him. As Jesus rises from the waters, our recreation has begun”. To be recreated though, requires a poverty of spirit to be called and led, to change and to be transformed.

This week retired minister, speaker and writer, Catherine E. Smith shared her blog on Baptism in an email (links below). She shared a beautiful story of Jesus’ Baptism and a Blessing for each of us. I share the closing stanza of her story.

Baptism is concrete and holy and full of mystery.

Out of the cloud-split heavens the words of belovedness are spoken. 

These words fall upon Christ and in Christ they fall upon us. 
We are the beloved. 

In those days, in these days, in days to come
We are the beloved,
And we are beautiful to behold. 

To listen for my call, for words of “belovedness” being spoken to me, or even to hear my word for 2025, takes a poverty of spirit. Am I willing to say “I don’t know what to choose, will you guide me?” Am I willing to emerge from the waters open to hearing what I am being called to? Am I willing to be transformed? I invite you this week to consider these questions also.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Link to Catherine’s website, Hem of the Light, click here.

Link to Catherine’s post on Baptism (not on the website yet), click here.

Photo: Statue of the Baptism of Jesus, Epiphany Parish, Normal IL.

Advent 4th Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Uncategorized, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Advent is the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth (Luke 1: 39-45). It may be my favorite passage in the New Testament, if not, definitely in the top 5. Once we get to Easter, then the encounter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene feels like my favorite. Here is what I know for sure, each of the New Testament scriptures that touch me most deeply are gospels of encounter.

The image I selected today was a postcard given to me by my pastor, Fr. Tony, in the early years of my adult faith formation. I was beginning to seriously consider what I was being called to do and be in life, what following Jesus means and reflecting on my Catholic faith honestly, all the aspects, worthy and true and sadly, not so admirable. I was considering different ministries and religious communities at the time and we talked about the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth and the opportunities of ministering to other women. This postcard depicts an icon titled “Mary visits Elizabeth” (1984) painted by Sr. Joan Tuberty. I love that their skin tones are darker, as women of the Middle East. I love the soulful gaze of each woman, eye to eye, peering deep, seeing a truth, deeper than the eye can see. In a community newsletter, Sr Joan, an accomplished iconographer, said “Icons are scripture visualized and companions for our spiritual journey.” This icon has been a companion on my journey the past 30 years.

As we end our Advent journey, today and tomorrow, rather than write a reflection for you, I invite you to sit with this icon, or another image that speaks to you, of the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth realizes who she is encountering in Mary. We wait with peace, hope, joy and love in the only One who can transform our lives and give meaning. Yes, the gathering and celebrations are wonderful. I anticipate the excitement of my niece’s children as they open their gifts. But cliche as it is, there is only one ‘reason for the season’. How will you encounter the Christ Child on Christmas Day? Are you aware of and open to the encounter of Jesus in others and in your daily life? As Fr. Mike Schmitz, Ascension Press, has said in his YouTube videos this Advent, what if this Christmas you didn’t wake up, would you be ready to encounter God?

The Advent season has been a time of preparing – to remember the infant Jesus born to Mary and Joseph over 2000 years ago, the coming of the Christ at the end of time, and the encounter with God we each will experience when our lives have ended. As we have turned the corner on the shortest day of the year and begin to experience increasing light each day, my hope is that your days will be filled with the Light and the incomprehensible Love of Christ for each of us.

Wishing you abundant peace, joy and love, Deena

Note: For those of you who may not be Christian and read this, I apologize for not being familiar with the tradition and rituals you are keeping at this time of year. I wish you the joy of being uplifted by your celebrations as well.

Photo Credit: A Postcard of the icon by Sr. Joan Tuberty, Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, MN., mentioned in this blog.

Confusing times

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, surrender, surrender novenaLeave a comment

Christmas in July for sales and TV Hallmark movies, Halloween in September and then Christmas sales bulldoze over Thanksgiving. I haven’t decorated for Christmas yet. Actually Thanksgiving decor, now that Halloween has been taken down, to mix in with other Fall items, are still in the tub on the floor. That’s a task for Monday. But I opened an email this weekend from a crafting company I follow to find a sale on Valentine’s Day stamps and paper. I understand that companies want us to have what we need when we are ready to mentally prepare for, shop or decorate, and begin planning for a holiday. When I was more active with my stamping business I knew you had to order new items early so that you could share them with others, so they had time to order and use them. I get it!

Yesterday my friend, Kathy, and I took a drive to check out a bakery I have wanted to visit (the seasonal task of finding the perfect Potica has begun!) and then visited a nursery and another local shop to browse Christmas decorations. I am not ready to put decorations up until after Thanksgiving but I love getting ideas and smelling the smells of greens, candles and coffee. I can get excited just like, maybe even more, than the next person!

But Valentine’s Day before we even reach December 1. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous!

We are also in a confusing time of transition with the government. Half of our country voted for change, a few dollars in the wallet, but at what cost? I am concerned that we have lost a deep respect for the dignity and rights of all people and for our constitution. Will we really see a protection of the lives of the unborn as promised but only to exclude the protection of those seeking safety, a better future for themselves and their families? I don’t know the answers. I do know I can’t watch the news to find out, it’s too disturbing to my inner peace. Instead I pray and hope. As a Benedictine Oblate, I keep the words of St. Benedict close to my heart and strive to welcome Christ in all others, regardless of our differences and opinions.

Personally I am in a season of change and transition too, leaving a ministry team I was part of for the past three years. What lies ahead? I’m not sure. I’m excited but if I get too far ahead of myself, like Valentine’s Day in November, I get stressed out. To prepare myself, I began praying a Surrender Novena last week, so that I could end it on the transition day, November 19, from this life to the next, of Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, the author of the novena. It reminds me daily that we worry about things we can’t control, we allow ourselves to get agitated and fret, focused on the transitory aspects of life. Of course we do what we can do with what we have, we live our lives as best we can. But, the way to peace is to surrender and trust in God.

This weekend, the week before the Solemnity of Christ the King, and two weeks from the First Sunday of Advent, beginning a new liturgical year, we are reminded that none of this lasts. Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13: 24-32) So we live in the world but are not of it. We enjoy the blessings we have been given and the beauty of this earth, realizing that none of it really belongs of us. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, all that I have will not change that. None of it goes with me. We use our gifts and talents so that we have more joy, discover and fulfill the purpose we have been given, but we use those gifts knowing we are meant to serve with them, to serve God and to serve others. These final Sundays of the liturgical year remind us to be watchful and alert, and to put our attention on the things that last.

As we move through the rest of November I invite us all to be aware of the gifts we have been given, the blessings of good friends and family. Celebrate those at Thanksgiving! Then enter into the Advent season, quietly preparing your heart to recall the gift of the Incarnation, God becoming one with us. Try to find moments to pause and reflect on scripture or Advent chants and carols. It truly makes the celebration of Christmas and the New Year, the Solemnity of Mary, more meaningful and joyful.

Take it slow, one day at a time, breathe and pause to give thanks, or ask for the grace to remain calm, despite all the preparations and crazy pace of the season. The simple act of giving thanks each evening, whether in a journal or as part of your evening prayer, heightens your awareness of the gift that life is and the people who walk with you through it. Let us be intentional as we move through these remaining day of 2024 about being at peace, enjoying each day we have been given and celebrating all we have. Things will never be perfect in our lives or in the world, so let us turn back to God, like the healed leper that returned to Jesus to give praise and thanks, knowing that it is all gift anyway.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Enjoy a moment of calm with a natural fountain at the Nicholas Conservatory and Gardens. Let it be a reminder to “go with the flow”.

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!