Category: contemplation

A revolutionary vision

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, a season of hope, Art and new vision, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Sacred Heart of Jesus, Sacred Heart of Jesus, spiritual healing, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Lately the range of emotions I experience each day feel as though I am riding a roller coaster. I might note, I am not a fan of roller coasters! I try to ignore the news and take deep breaths but it can be overwhelming. I stopped watching the news (preferring to read updates by well versed political historians and fact-finders) but still come across posts with quotes by our leaders, elected or not, that are filled with such hate, delusion and self supremacy that I feel like giving up completely. But I know it is not the time to give in or to be silent. I also know that the people and things of this world are not the things that really matter, they are not my ultimate purpose or goal. My stability and sanity come from trying to balance each day with things that bring some relief, some joy, some hope. Thankfully there are an abundance of uplifting and life-giving posts, essays, articles and events that help me counter the negativity and vitriol.

As my thoughts for writing this post jumbled around all week, I thought of sharing an experience I had a couple of weekends ago, attending a fireside poetry reading by Scottish poet Kenneth Steven, hosted by friend Pat Leyko Connelly, also a published poet. He read from his book, Atoms of Delight: Ten Pilgrimages in Nature. I won’t share more details of the event as my friend Judith Valente, does so eloquently this morning, in her blog, along with other thoughtful reflections on finding wonder during these turbulent times. But, a significant moment during the event came for me as Kenneth Steven read a story of one of the significant “atoms of delight” in his life, being the first to gather the freshly fallen chestnuts from a tree in the early dawn. I recalled one of my own “atoms”. I spent some of my grade school years living in a small town in the area of the Catskill Mountains in New York. In a wooded area behind our home there was a huge rock (likely only 5 feet but in my memory it was massive) and giant pine trees. We would venture in the freshly fallen snow, shake the tree branches on each other and play on and around the rock. It was my own personal energy portal. Nature was alive and filled me with joy and wonder, an “atom of delight”.

In a personal post on social media this weekend I shared an article entitled “A Spell Against Stagnation”, a reflection on the writings of John O’Donohue, another poet that lifts my heart and spirit, on a site called The Marginalian (link to website but you can find on Facebook). Founder Maria Popova shares articles with endless links and spirals of creativity and nourishment. Statements from Maria, like “Kneeling to look at a lichen is a devotional act”, remind me to stop and look for those moments of wonder. I appreciate the beauty and sensitivity of her artwork, bird divinations, from An Almanac of Birds: Divinations for Uncertain Days which you can find on her website or Facebook page (and soon available in a card deck as a pre-order on Amazon).

Another simple practice that I implement each day as part of morning and/or evening prayer is a gratitude or wonder list. In a blog or article by writer and retreat facilitator, Mary DeTurris Poust, I was intrigued by a different approach to my daily list. Mary shared that she numbers her three daily posts in an ongoing list, which was now in the thousands. I began mine at the time of the reading and as of this morning have reached 215. This list is part of my daily Examen (a practice of reflecting on the graces, consolations and desolations of each day) journal. It helps me look for those moments of wonder, those small “atoms of delight” in each day.

Today a homily written by Pope Francis, read by Cardinal Jose Tolentino de Mendoza, challenged artists [poets, writers, visual artists…] to be “witnesses of the revolutionary vision of the Beatitudes”. The Pope said that living the Beatitudes and expressing them in art [and I would add the expression of our lives] was a way to reveal “ truth and goodness …hidden within the folds of history”, and “giving voice to the voiceless”. “‘Artists have the task, the Pope said, of “helping humanity not to lose its way’”. (Vatican News, February 16, 2025)

If you seek solace these days I encourage you to read poetry, listen to music or reflect on art. Visit some of the writers or poets I mention today or find others that inspire you to look at life differently. If you write, continue to do so. If you draw, paint or create mixed media journals, keep going. If you have longed to pick up and learn to play a musical instrument, it’s not too late. Do it for you, not to change the world at large, but to change yours. Find joy and express it. It just might make each day a bit more lovely!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Another note: I mentioned offering a Lent Night of Reflection a couple of weeks ago. I am still working on a webpage and more sophisticated registration process, but that all takes time. I decided to move forward anyway. The mini retreat will be “Make My Heart Like Your Heart: Encounter and Change of Heart” on Thursday, March 20 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Central Time. The suggested donation for the event is $19. I will keep working on a registration process but it might be as simple as a PayPal or Venmo payment for my first event. During the event we will reflect on the things in the world that consume our heart and attention, our need and desire to give and receive forgiveness, and ways that we can pour out our love to God in a personal and sincere way. I am excited to offer this and I hope you will be able to join me. For now, you can email me, private message me or add a comment to this post on my website adding “Retreat” to the beginning of your comment and I won’t approve (or will hide) that comment to be shown on the website.

Photo: A print of Bernini’s “The Ecstacy of St. Teresa of Avila” that hangs in my office.

The light we carry

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

By the great and small lights we mark our days and seasons, we brighten the night and bring warmth to our winter, and in these lights we see light…” (Catholic Household Blessings & Prayers)

Today is Candlemas. In many churches and parishes the faithful are invited to bring candles to have blessed for use during the year. The candles represent the Light of Christ in the world. Today is also known as the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord (February 2nd). It is unusual that a Feast Day has priority over a Sunday but has been elevated because it falls on a Sunday in Ordinary Time. Today’s feast is also the official end of the Christmas season marking 40 days after Jesus’ birth and the presentation of the child Jesus in the temple, according to the law. We see and ponder on this holy day the fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy that the glory of the Lord would return to the temple (Ezekiel 10:8, the glory of the Lord left the temple but will return Ezekiel 43). Simeon, and the prophetess Anna, rejoice as they recognize what is happening. They have been waiting for this day, but they needed eyes to see. They were alert in their waiting and hoping for the coming of the Messiah.

As a Benedictine Oblate, I pray each day to hear the words of Scripture with the “ear of the heart” (Prologue of St. Benedict) but this week I also prayed to see with the “eyes of the heart”. I was seeking to see things in a new way and to have the grace to see where the Lord is leading me (and the Lord did not disappoint!).

As Mary listened to the words of Simeon, rejoicing that he has seen the Messiah but also proclaiming the sorrow Mary will encounter (“and you yourself a sword will pierce”) as she continues her unique journey in and with Jesus, she pondered or reflected on each day with Jesus and what was being revealed to her. We need to have similar eyes of faith as we make our pilgrim journey in life.

As part of night prayer each evening, we pray the beautiful words of Simeon “Lord, now let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled: my own eyes have seen the salvation which you prepared in the sight of every people: a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of the people Israel.”

May our eyes be open to the Light. May we remember that we carry that Light with us and bring it to others. May we look for the ways we encounter the Christ each day and then rejoice as we close our eyes, as we prepare to rest, each night.

“In the beauty of these candles, keep us in quiet and in peace, keep us safe and turn our hearts to you that we may ourselves be light for our world.” (Catholic Household Blessings & Prayers)

Note: As a follow up to my mention of a new undertaking, True to Self Living, that I will be introducing this Spring or Summer, I would like to share something that I have been praying about this week. I am working on a Lent night of reflection and prayer, later in March. “Make my heart like your heart” will be an evening of listening to prayer, reflecting on the words of scripture as we make our Lenten journey, time for discussion and even a little personal creative reflection for our prayer. More details to follow and I hope you will be drawn to consider this as part of your Lenten prayer.

Freely choose what seems good

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey2 Comments

Have you ever spent so much time weighing options, an action to take or a decision to make, that you never really take a step or make a move? “What is the better of these two choices? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I don’t have enough information to decide?” We can paralyze ourselves with indecision.

This past week was the feast day of St. Francis de Sales, a saint known for his kind and gentle spiritual direction. St. Francis de Sales is a Doctor of the Catholic Church, The Doctor of Divine Love. The title of Doctor is given to saints who are recognized for having a significant impact on theology or doctrine as a result of their work and writing/teaching. He was the spiritual director to St. Jane de Chantal, another saint I regard highly because of her courage and patience in the face of the challenges she encountered and her desire to help others, especially the poor. St. Francis de Sales reminded St. Jane, when she desired to enter a religious community after the death of her husband, that there was holiness in her daily tasks as a mother and that being faithful to the real life in front of her each day was a way to become holy. Eventually he counseled her to begin a new order of women, The Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary or The Visitation Sisters. St. Francis also had a temper and struggled with resentment, but he believed that the spiritual life is made up of mistakes we learn and grow from. For this reason, I also have a special fondness for him and his teaching.

He wrote of making decisions, especially when faced with two good options, “as S. Basil says, freely choose what seems to us good, so as not to weary our spirit, lose time, and put ourselves in danger of disquiet, scruples, and superstition. But I mean always where there is no great disproportion between the two works, and where there is no considerable circumstance on one side more than on the other.” He said that we should pray and ask for clarity from the Holy Spirit, seek the guidance of a spiritual director or one or two spiritual friends and then “devoutly, peacefully, and firmly keep and pursue it.”

We can hold ourselves back by saying that we don’t have this skill or aptitude or that someone else is better equipped with a particular gift. We can focus on the abilities of others and neglect to see the good that we can do with the talents we have been given.

Today and last Sunday, Second and Third Sunday in Ordinary Time, the second reading has been from the Letter of St. Paul to the Corinthians. In this letter, St. Paul is advising the church of Corinth that the Spirit of God gives different gifts and forms of service, different parts of the body that all make up the Body of Christ. We are all given our own unique talent to serve those around us. Each of these is necessary for a healthy and thriving community. All of these gifts are valuable to the whole.

In another profound weekly article by Maria Shriver, she considers how to find peace in the world, peace after the devastation of the LA Fires and peace as we navigate change in our country. She states that the way to build something new is to build from within, “to get quiet, to truly bring our peaceful selves to the table.” “Listening, trying to understand, caring for another, loving another, bestowing grace, forgiveness, kindness, and mercy on another—that’s something each of us can do.” Simple but dramatic ways to have an impact.

I have been considering this for myself, in this new year of 2025. Beginning this Spring, I will be adding a new page to this site (or perhaps a new site), mini-courses and ways to connect with each other as I launch a new venture into the world. True To Self Living will be a journey of being our most authentic self in the world. We will use practices from various disciplines such as faith and spirituality, mindfulness, creativity and wellness to live a life that allows the full expression of who we are, a way to come home to ourselves. I believe, like Maria, that when we do this we also have a positive impact on the world.

What gifts do you have and offer to those around you? In what ways do you, or can you, serve your family and friends, making a positive impact on their day? What ways might you get quiet and bring peace and concern, a gentleness like St. Francis de Sales, to those you encounter? Let’s work together to bring peace to the world in a way that only we can.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: a sign I saw on the wall at Tea Room at the Depot in Mackinaw, IL.

Poverty of spirit

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Life in the Spirit, Poverty of Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality2 Comments

I participated in Judith Valente’s “Writing the Prologue to Your New Year”, a retreat I look forward to each January. Part of the retreat is to reflect on our “word of the year”. This tradition of considering a word for the new year goes back to the 2nd or 3rd century when individuals seeking spiritual insight and wisdom would go to one of the Desert Fathers or Mothers and “ask for a word”. Most of us don’t have a desert monastery of wise elders to seek out. Most of us don’t even have a spiritual father or mother who knows us well enough to provide that “word” based on their insight to the spiritual journey we are on. We are left to our own discovery, discernment or discrimination of the word that can carry us through the new year.

This past week, words emerged like kernels popping up in a popcorn popper or one of those bingo cages that you spin to pull out the next important letter in the game. Words were tossed and spinning all week and I had a long list to sit with on Friday before sharing my word on Saturday morning. It isn’t my word for 2025 or phrase, (sets of words are ok to choose, there aren’t any rules!) but “poverty of spirit” kept capturing my attention all week. It kept coming up as part of reflections I was reading or podcasts I have been listening to in the new year. So I kept pondering what it might mean, for me, as the phrase kept presenting itself over and over.

One example of trust and humility that was shared in a podcast was that as young children we turn to our parents when asked a question like “what would you like to order to eat” or “to drink”. We, as children, aren’t aware of all the options or what is acceptable, so we turn to a trusting adult to help us decide. Poverty of spirit is the same type of humility or dependence on God as God’s children, turning to the One who can help us see more clearly.

I reflected earlier this week (my first mid-week reflection) on President Jimmy Carter’s funeral services. He certainly seemed to be a man with a poverty of spirit, a will to serve God and others, before self, always looking for ways to be attentive to what God desired for him to do and where he was needed to help others.

As I reflected on these two examples I determined that I can’t be open to hear or listen when my “hands” and mind are grasping tightly to what I think I need to do or be. My tendency is to anxiously hurry up and figure out the next step. This can create confusion or perhaps beginning to go down a path that isn’t the “right” one. I realize that I need an open spirit, willing to ask, “God, I don’t know what I want, or even what the options are (because I surely can’t see them all) or what is best for me, so will you help me decide?”

Jesus’ Baptism, that we remember as we end the Christmas season today, was not a baptism that Jesus needed. It was a baptism for the rest of us. As Fr. Paul Carlson, my parish pastor, shared in his homily, St. Gregory of Nazianzus said that “when Jesus rises from the waters, the whole world rises with him. As Jesus rises from the waters, our recreation has begun”. To be recreated though, requires a poverty of spirit to be called and led, to change and to be transformed.

This week retired minister, speaker and writer, Catherine E. Smith shared her blog on Baptism in an email (links below). She shared a beautiful story of Jesus’ Baptism and a Blessing for each of us. I share the closing stanza of her story.

Baptism is concrete and holy and full of mystery.

Out of the cloud-split heavens the words of belovedness are spoken. 

These words fall upon Christ and in Christ they fall upon us. 
We are the beloved. 

In those days, in these days, in days to come
We are the beloved,
And we are beautiful to behold. 

To listen for my call, for words of “belovedness” being spoken to me, or even to hear my word for 2025, takes a poverty of spirit. Am I willing to say “I don’t know what to choose, will you guide me?” Am I willing to emerge from the waters open to hearing what I am being called to? Am I willing to be transformed? I invite you this week to consider these questions also.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Link to Catherine’s website, Hem of the Light, click here.

Link to Catherine’s post on Baptism (not on the website yet), click here.

Photo: Statue of the Baptism of Jesus, Epiphany Parish, Normal IL.

Advent 4th Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Uncategorized, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Advent is the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth (Luke 1: 39-45). It may be my favorite passage in the New Testament, if not, definitely in the top 5. Once we get to Easter, then the encounter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene feels like my favorite. Here is what I know for sure, each of the New Testament scriptures that touch me most deeply are gospels of encounter.

The image I selected today was a postcard given to me by my pastor, Fr. Tony, in the early years of my adult faith formation. I was beginning to seriously consider what I was being called to do and be in life, what following Jesus means and reflecting on my Catholic faith honestly, all the aspects, worthy and true and sadly, not so admirable. I was considering different ministries and religious communities at the time and we talked about the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth and the opportunities of ministering to other women. This postcard depicts an icon titled “Mary visits Elizabeth” (1984) painted by Sr. Joan Tuberty. I love that their skin tones are darker, as women of the Middle East. I love the soulful gaze of each woman, eye to eye, peering deep, seeing a truth, deeper than the eye can see. In a community newsletter, Sr Joan, an accomplished iconographer, said “Icons are scripture visualized and companions for our spiritual journey.” This icon has been a companion on my journey the past 30 years.

As we end our Advent journey, today and tomorrow, rather than write a reflection for you, I invite you to sit with this icon, or another image that speaks to you, of the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth realizes who she is encountering in Mary. We wait with peace, hope, joy and love in the only One who can transform our lives and give meaning. Yes, the gathering and celebrations are wonderful. I anticipate the excitement of my niece’s children as they open their gifts. But cliche as it is, there is only one ‘reason for the season’. How will you encounter the Christ Child on Christmas Day? Are you aware of and open to the encounter of Jesus in others and in your daily life? As Fr. Mike Schmitz, Ascension Press, has said in his YouTube videos this Advent, what if this Christmas you didn’t wake up, would you be ready to encounter God?

The Advent season has been a time of preparing – to remember the infant Jesus born to Mary and Joseph over 2000 years ago, the coming of the Christ at the end of time, and the encounter with God we each will experience when our lives have ended. As we have turned the corner on the shortest day of the year and begin to experience increasing light each day, my hope is that your days will be filled with the Light and the incomprehensible Love of Christ for each of us.

Wishing you abundant peace, joy and love, Deena

Note: For those of you who may not be Christian and read this, I apologize for not being familiar with the tradition and rituals you are keeping at this time of year. I wish you the joy of being uplifted by your celebrations as well.

Photo Credit: A Postcard of the icon by Sr. Joan Tuberty, Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, MN., mentioned in this blog.

Advent 3rd Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, advent, Catholic faith, contemplation, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

This Sunday is Gaudete Sunday, the Third Sunday of Advent. We light the rose candle, the joy candle on our Advent wreaths. Gaudete means Rejoice! Even if you have not been familiar with this particular Sunday in the beginning of our liturgical year in the Church, you have undoubtedly heard the Latin word in Enya’s version of O Come O Come Emmanuel or other versions of the traditional Advent song.

As I prepare for Christmas this year, I seek that joy. Not giddy happiness or pleasure but a divine, deeply rooted in the heart and spirit, joy. A joy that doesn’t get squashed out by the stress of not having my baking or shopping done (or started!) or the feeling that the slow-paced prayerful days of Advent are passing me by despite my best efforts to savor it this year.

The world feels dark, easily experienced when turning on the news. I am relieved that the Syrian rebels have sent Assad fleeing from the country after toppling his regime, but now the news of his enormous stockpiling of wealth and the cruel and brutal treatment of prisoners is made known. It is overwhelming. I am not surprised reading a news update that Russia offers him asylum. I even tire of Facebook because of all the ads to shop, none of the ideas that appeal to me for those I want to shop for. There are countless stories of countries, and the people who live there, in need due to weather events. Then there are all the random posts of pets found alone and hungry because people just left them alone when moving. It’s all too much. How, where do we find joy?

Pope Francis has often reminded us to live with real joy. Even as he ages, joy is almost always visible in his encounters with others. In his final event in Corsica today, his 47th apostolic journey, in his homily at a Mass, “the Pope encouraged the faithful to embrace a joyful expectation of the Lord’s coming. Christian joy, he explained, “is neither shallow nor ephemeral”. On the contrary, it is a joy rooted in the heart and built on a solid foundation. He recalled the words of the prophet Zephaniah, who called his people to rejoice because the Lord was in their midst, bringing victory and salvation. “The Lord’s coming brings us salvation: that is the reason for our joy”, he said. This joy, the Pope explained, is not about forgetting life’s hardships but rather finding strength and peace in the presence of God.”” He says that the more we focus on ourselves and the concerns of the world, we lose sight of God’s providence and guidance. The answer lies in prayer and our focus on the promises of Christ. (Source: Vatican News)

In his apostolic exhortation, The Joy of the Gospel, it was determined that he used the word joy 110 times. In his exhortation, Pope Francis writes about a joy, living a life with Christ and the Gospel, that cannot be taken away by the things of this world. For him joy is “something beautiful, capable of filling life with new splendor and profound joy, even in the midst of difficulties.” Who doesn’t yearn for that? I certainly do.

I picked up a beautiful book this week, after listening to the first two weeks of their Advent podcast, Encountering Emmanuel, on the station Abiding Together. Sr. Miriam James Heidland, a woman religious who has deeply impacted my faith life with her story of healing and relationship with Jesus, along with Heather Khym and Michelle Benzinger, discuss a book written by Heather, Encountering Emmanuel: A Guided Advent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. On Monday of the First Week of Advent, Heather, talking about the Gospel of John and the Light of the World discourse, says Jesus “comes crashing through the darkness of night into a world darkened with sin. A star illuminates the way – a star that he breathed into existence and that echoed the truth of who he is, the Light in whom there is no darkness.”

That sentence, and a proclamation that Jesus “wants our whole being to be in the light”, reached the deep core of my being. It was one of those moments where billions of years collapsed into a single second, that stars created by God, illuminating the way for shepherds and wise men thousands of years ago, continues to be a symbol of hope each night as I gaze at stars, that there is a world and truth that no country, politics, or person can wipe away. Even if we destroy the planet with our careless concern for the gift of creation, the stars will shine and remind us that Jesus can and will light the dark places of our lives and the world if we are open to the encounter.

Despite the hardship, despite the turmoil, we look to God who promises us peace, hope, joy and love amidst the darkness of the world. We turn to the Light, to the tender compassion of our God, to “guide our feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1: 78-79, Zechariah’s Canticle, the Benedictus). In that we find true joy.

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

Photo: The Third Week of Advent on our Advent wreath a previous year at my parish.

Advent 1st Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

Advent is a quiet time of preparing for Christmas. We begin the liturgical season with the dim light of one candle and reflect on the Second Coming of Christ. As we move closer to Christmas we remember the stories from our salvation history and the Incarnation, Jesus’ coming to us in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago. The gospel readings are somber. They warn us to be vigilant. We don’t watch the skies and wring our hands waiting for everything to collapse but we seek to make our hearts more open and prepared. We look within, making sure we aren’t drowsy and distracted by the concerns and desires of this world. We seek to put our focus on God, the peace that comes from living a life of faith, versus the anxieties of each day.

This morning, for the First Sunday of Advent, the prelude to the opening music was a haunting organ version of Veni veni Emmanuel. It was discordant, almost as if someone was playing off key (but we have a digital system, so I knew better). Before it moved to a more harmonious version of that music, O Come O Come Emmanuel, I was reflecting that it was perfect for the beginning of Advent. Our lives, the world for that matter, lack harmony and true fulfillment without the Light that comes from faith. We believe that our lives are changed for the better by living in alignment with the principles that Jesus shared with us, that we encounter daily in the Holy Word.

As we begin our new liturgical year 2025 with the season of Advent, we pause to reflect on our lives and the coming of the Christ Child, remembered at Christmas as the fulfillment of all the promises and covenants of old. But we do so, aware that Christ comes to us each day, if we are open and willing to have the encounter, and that each day we prepare for the time that our days on this earth will end, as well as the Second Coming, at the end of time.

How might we increase our focus on Christ during this holy time of preparation, even in the midst of our busy Christmas decorating, shopping and baking? How might we remind ourselves each day of the real reason we are doing all of these activities? How might we prepare our hearts so that each day they are filled with the Light of Christ, that brings us hope, peace, joy and love.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A past Advent wreath at my parish, Holy Family Church.

Confusing times

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, surrender, surrender novenaLeave a comment

Christmas in July for sales and TV Hallmark movies, Halloween in September and then Christmas sales bulldoze over Thanksgiving. I haven’t decorated for Christmas yet. Actually Thanksgiving decor, now that Halloween has been taken down, to mix in with other Fall items, are still in the tub on the floor. That’s a task for Monday. But I opened an email this weekend from a crafting company I follow to find a sale on Valentine’s Day stamps and paper. I understand that companies want us to have what we need when we are ready to mentally prepare for, shop or decorate, and begin planning for a holiday. When I was more active with my stamping business I knew you had to order new items early so that you could share them with others, so they had time to order and use them. I get it!

Yesterday my friend, Kathy, and I took a drive to check out a bakery I have wanted to visit (the seasonal task of finding the perfect Potica has begun!) and then visited a nursery and another local shop to browse Christmas decorations. I am not ready to put decorations up until after Thanksgiving but I love getting ideas and smelling the smells of greens, candles and coffee. I can get excited just like, maybe even more, than the next person!

But Valentine’s Day before we even reach December 1. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous!

We are also in a confusing time of transition with the government. Half of our country voted for change, a few dollars in the wallet, but at what cost? I am concerned that we have lost a deep respect for the dignity and rights of all people and for our constitution. Will we really see a protection of the lives of the unborn as promised but only to exclude the protection of those seeking safety, a better future for themselves and their families? I don’t know the answers. I do know I can’t watch the news to find out, it’s too disturbing to my inner peace. Instead I pray and hope. As a Benedictine Oblate, I keep the words of St. Benedict close to my heart and strive to welcome Christ in all others, regardless of our differences and opinions.

Personally I am in a season of change and transition too, leaving a ministry team I was part of for the past three years. What lies ahead? I’m not sure. I’m excited but if I get too far ahead of myself, like Valentine’s Day in November, I get stressed out. To prepare myself, I began praying a Surrender Novena last week, so that I could end it on the transition day, November 19, from this life to the next, of Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, the author of the novena. It reminds me daily that we worry about things we can’t control, we allow ourselves to get agitated and fret, focused on the transitory aspects of life. Of course we do what we can do with what we have, we live our lives as best we can. But, the way to peace is to surrender and trust in God.

This weekend, the week before the Solemnity of Christ the King, and two weeks from the First Sunday of Advent, beginning a new liturgical year, we are reminded that none of this lasts. Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13: 24-32) So we live in the world but are not of it. We enjoy the blessings we have been given and the beauty of this earth, realizing that none of it really belongs of us. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, all that I have will not change that. None of it goes with me. We use our gifts and talents so that we have more joy, discover and fulfill the purpose we have been given, but we use those gifts knowing we are meant to serve with them, to serve God and to serve others. These final Sundays of the liturgical year remind us to be watchful and alert, and to put our attention on the things that last.

As we move through the rest of November I invite us all to be aware of the gifts we have been given, the blessings of good friends and family. Celebrate those at Thanksgiving! Then enter into the Advent season, quietly preparing your heart to recall the gift of the Incarnation, God becoming one with us. Try to find moments to pause and reflect on scripture or Advent chants and carols. It truly makes the celebration of Christmas and the New Year, the Solemnity of Mary, more meaningful and joyful.

Take it slow, one day at a time, breathe and pause to give thanks, or ask for the grace to remain calm, despite all the preparations and crazy pace of the season. The simple act of giving thanks each evening, whether in a journal or as part of your evening prayer, heightens your awareness of the gift that life is and the people who walk with you through it. Let us be intentional as we move through these remaining day of 2024 about being at peace, enjoying each day we have been given and celebrating all we have. Things will never be perfect in our lives or in the world, so let us turn back to God, like the healed leper that returned to Jesus to give praise and thanks, knowing that it is all gift anyway.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Enjoy a moment of calm with a natural fountain at the Nicholas Conservatory and Gardens. Let it be a reminder to “go with the flow”.

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL