Category: Spiritual Journey

Advent 4th Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Uncategorized, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Advent is the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth (Luke 1: 39-45). It may be my favorite passage in the New Testament, if not, definitely in the top 5. Once we get to Easter, then the encounter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene feels like my favorite. Here is what I know for sure, each of the New Testament scriptures that touch me most deeply are gospels of encounter.

The image I selected today was a postcard given to me by my pastor, Fr. Tony, in the early years of my adult faith formation. I was beginning to seriously consider what I was being called to do and be in life, what following Jesus means and reflecting on my Catholic faith honestly, all the aspects, worthy and true and sadly, not so admirable. I was considering different ministries and religious communities at the time and we talked about the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth and the opportunities of ministering to other women. This postcard depicts an icon titled “Mary visits Elizabeth” (1984) painted by Sr. Joan Tuberty. I love that their skin tones are darker, as women of the Middle East. I love the soulful gaze of each woman, eye to eye, peering deep, seeing a truth, deeper than the eye can see. In a community newsletter, Sr Joan, an accomplished iconographer, said “Icons are scripture visualized and companions for our spiritual journey.” This icon has been a companion on my journey the past 30 years.

As we end our Advent journey, today and tomorrow, rather than write a reflection for you, I invite you to sit with this icon, or another image that speaks to you, of the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth realizes who she is encountering in Mary. We wait with peace, hope, joy and love in the only One who can transform our lives and give meaning. Yes, the gathering and celebrations are wonderful. I anticipate the excitement of my niece’s children as they open their gifts. But cliche as it is, there is only one ‘reason for the season’. How will you encounter the Christ Child on Christmas Day? Are you aware of and open to the encounter of Jesus in others and in your daily life? As Fr. Mike Schmitz, Ascension Press, has said in his YouTube videos this Advent, what if this Christmas you didn’t wake up, would you be ready to encounter God?

The Advent season has been a time of preparing – to remember the infant Jesus born to Mary and Joseph over 2000 years ago, the coming of the Christ at the end of time, and the encounter with God we each will experience when our lives have ended. As we have turned the corner on the shortest day of the year and begin to experience increasing light each day, my hope is that your days will be filled with the Light and the incomprehensible Love of Christ for each of us.

Wishing you abundant peace, joy and love, Deena

Note: For those of you who may not be Christian and read this, I apologize for not being familiar with the tradition and rituals you are keeping at this time of year. I wish you the joy of being uplifted by your celebrations as well.

Photo Credit: A Postcard of the icon by Sr. Joan Tuberty, Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, MN., mentioned in this blog.

Advent 3rd Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, advent, Catholic faith, contemplation, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred waiting, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

This Sunday is Gaudete Sunday, the Third Sunday of Advent. We light the rose candle, the joy candle on our Advent wreaths. Gaudete means Rejoice! Even if you have not been familiar with this particular Sunday in the beginning of our liturgical year in the Church, you have undoubtedly heard the Latin word in Enya’s version of O Come O Come Emmanuel or other versions of the traditional Advent song.

As I prepare for Christmas this year, I seek that joy. Not giddy happiness or pleasure but a divine, deeply rooted in the heart and spirit, joy. A joy that doesn’t get squashed out by the stress of not having my baking or shopping done (or started!) or the feeling that the slow-paced prayerful days of Advent are passing me by despite my best efforts to savor it this year.

The world feels dark, easily experienced when turning on the news. I am relieved that the Syrian rebels have sent Assad fleeing from the country after toppling his regime, but now the news of his enormous stockpiling of wealth and the cruel and brutal treatment of prisoners is made known. It is overwhelming. I am not surprised reading a news update that Russia offers him asylum. I even tire of Facebook because of all the ads to shop, none of the ideas that appeal to me for those I want to shop for. There are countless stories of countries, and the people who live there, in need due to weather events. Then there are all the random posts of pets found alone and hungry because people just left them alone when moving. It’s all too much. How, where do we find joy?

Pope Francis has often reminded us to live with real joy. Even as he ages, joy is almost always visible in his encounters with others. In his final event in Corsica today, his 47th apostolic journey, in his homily at a Mass, “the Pope encouraged the faithful to embrace a joyful expectation of the Lord’s coming. Christian joy, he explained, “is neither shallow nor ephemeral”. On the contrary, it is a joy rooted in the heart and built on a solid foundation. He recalled the words of the prophet Zephaniah, who called his people to rejoice because the Lord was in their midst, bringing victory and salvation. “The Lord’s coming brings us salvation: that is the reason for our joy”, he said. This joy, the Pope explained, is not about forgetting life’s hardships but rather finding strength and peace in the presence of God.”” He says that the more we focus on ourselves and the concerns of the world, we lose sight of God’s providence and guidance. The answer lies in prayer and our focus on the promises of Christ. (Source: Vatican News)

In his apostolic exhortation, The Joy of the Gospel, it was determined that he used the word joy 110 times. In his exhortation, Pope Francis writes about a joy, living a life with Christ and the Gospel, that cannot be taken away by the things of this world. For him joy is “something beautiful, capable of filling life with new splendor and profound joy, even in the midst of difficulties.” Who doesn’t yearn for that? I certainly do.

I picked up a beautiful book this week, after listening to the first two weeks of their Advent podcast, Encountering Emmanuel, on the station Abiding Together. Sr. Miriam James Heidland, a woman religious who has deeply impacted my faith life with her story of healing and relationship with Jesus, along with Heather Khym and Michelle Benzinger, discuss a book written by Heather, Encountering Emmanuel: A Guided Advent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. On Monday of the First Week of Advent, Heather, talking about the Gospel of John and the Light of the World discourse, says Jesus “comes crashing through the darkness of night into a world darkened with sin. A star illuminates the way – a star that he breathed into existence and that echoed the truth of who he is, the Light in whom there is no darkness.”

That sentence, and a proclamation that Jesus “wants our whole being to be in the light”, reached the deep core of my being. It was one of those moments where billions of years collapsed into a single second, that stars created by God, illuminating the way for shepherds and wise men thousands of years ago, continues to be a symbol of hope each night as I gaze at stars, that there is a world and truth that no country, politics, or person can wipe away. Even if we destroy the planet with our careless concern for the gift of creation, the stars will shine and remind us that Jesus can and will light the dark places of our lives and the world if we are open to the encounter.

Despite the hardship, despite the turmoil, we look to God who promises us peace, hope, joy and love amidst the darkness of the world. We turn to the Light, to the tender compassion of our God, to “guide our feet into the way of peace” (Luke 1: 78-79, Zechariah’s Canticle, the Benedictus). In that we find true joy.

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

Photo: The Third Week of Advent on our Advent wreath a previous year at my parish.

Advent 2nd Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting1 Comment

Last week our Advent Gospel readings advised us to be attentive, to watch for the signs in nature and to be aware as the world around us changes but not get anxious. I know that in darkness my senses are more attuned to what is going on, I am more sensitive to sounds around me. This week, for the Second Sunday of Advent, we light our second candle and the Christmas narrative begins to unfold for us with the story of John the Baptist as he begins to preach to the people of Israel about the coming Messiah, crying out “prepare the way”. So now we open our ears along with our eyes to reflect on the presence of the Christ in our lives.

One of the most helpful ways for me to pray with Scripture is to use the prayer method of Lectio Divina, or sacred reading. As a Benedictine Oblate we commit to making this a part of our daily prayer. Some days my Lectio is brief and lackluster. Other days the daily readings for morning prayer or daily Mass come alive and speak to me as if it was intended for me personally, an invitation to enter into a conversation with the Divine. This past Wednesday was one of those days and has filled me with hope and peace as I prayed the remainder of this week.

Isaiah 25 says “On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples, The web that is woven over all nations…This is the Lord for whom we looked; let us rejoice and be glad that he has saved us!” Isaiah was speaking of the time that the veil will be lifted once and for all and we will see and experience God in fullness.

As I prayed with those verses I reflected that is this is how we encounter the Christ each day, our experience of heaven on earth. Our meditations and our insights, as we read scripture, become our encounter with the Christ and in that the Lord briefly removes the veil for us, we see clearly. Our relationship with the Christ is unburdened and without barriers or restrictions. But we have to open our eyes, ears and hearts to the encounter. Times like this remind me that we don’t need miraculous visions or visits from angels. We just need to create the space, sit in silence and be open to the encounter. I know when I create the time and space for the possibility of encounter like that, I desire it even more.

As we begin the Second Week of Advent, still early in our journey, consider where you might create a space each day to sit and listen to what God might have to say to you. Simply open the daily Mass readings, or a scripture in a daily reflection guide, read the words slowly and listen for the word or phrase that speaks to you. Read it again and let it sink deep into your spirit. Is there a message or insight for you? Does reading it pull at your heart and invite you to simply sit in stillness with God, just resting in God’s presence? Daily encounters with the Divine are not reserved for the Saints or for the mystics and authors that inspire us. They happen in our lives too. I encourage you to use this time of prayer during Advent to open your eyes and ears to the words of Scripture, which are so rich and beautiful during Advent.

Allow this sacred time of encounter to bring Light to the darkness of this world. I am convinced it will not only change your experience of, and relationship with, God but it will change how you relate to the world around you. There are so many things that we cannot change in life and dwelling on that can bring darkness and despair. But we can change how we navigate through them. We can first experience the hope, peace, joy and love of Advent and the Christmas season and then bring these things to those we encounter.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: The Second Week of Advent candle lit on an Advent wreath from a previous year at our parish.

Advent 1st Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

Advent is a quiet time of preparing for Christmas. We begin the liturgical season with the dim light of one candle and reflect on the Second Coming of Christ. As we move closer to Christmas we remember the stories from our salvation history and the Incarnation, Jesus’ coming to us in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago. The gospel readings are somber. They warn us to be vigilant. We don’t watch the skies and wring our hands waiting for everything to collapse but we seek to make our hearts more open and prepared. We look within, making sure we aren’t drowsy and distracted by the concerns and desires of this world. We seek to put our focus on God, the peace that comes from living a life of faith, versus the anxieties of each day.

This morning, for the First Sunday of Advent, the prelude to the opening music was a haunting organ version of Veni veni Emmanuel. It was discordant, almost as if someone was playing off key (but we have a digital system, so I knew better). Before it moved to a more harmonious version of that music, O Come O Come Emmanuel, I was reflecting that it was perfect for the beginning of Advent. Our lives, the world for that matter, lack harmony and true fulfillment without the Light that comes from faith. We believe that our lives are changed for the better by living in alignment with the principles that Jesus shared with us, that we encounter daily in the Holy Word.

As we begin our new liturgical year 2025 with the season of Advent, we pause to reflect on our lives and the coming of the Christ Child, remembered at Christmas as the fulfillment of all the promises and covenants of old. But we do so, aware that Christ comes to us each day, if we are open and willing to have the encounter, and that each day we prepare for the time that our days on this earth will end, as well as the Second Coming, at the end of time.

How might we increase our focus on Christ during this holy time of preparation, even in the midst of our busy Christmas decorating, shopping and baking? How might we remind ourselves each day of the real reason we are doing all of these activities? How might we prepare our hearts so that each day they are filled with the Light of Christ, that brings us hope, peace, joy and love.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A past Advent wreath at my parish, Holy Family Church.

All glory, praise and honor

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

Today is the Solemnity of Jesus Christ, the King of the Universe. We end the liturgical year on this Sunday and will begin the Liturgical Year 2025 next week, with the First Sunday of Advent.

We don’t have any experience in the United States but we have watched more well-known monarchs, such as Queen Elizabeth II and King Charles III of the United Kingdom. Along with royal duties and governing of the countries for which they are responsible, we learn about the causes important to them, such as King Charles’ concern for the environment and sustainability. As we look at current and past history, we see the differences in leaders who care for their country and the people they serve, as opposed to those who seek power and control, regardless of the cost of human lives or property.

How then, do we approach this important day, and final Sunday, in the church calendar? What impact does it, or should it have, on our lives?

“This message of mine is for you, then, if you are ready to give up your own will, once and for all, and armed with the strong and noble weapons of obedience to do battle for Jesus, the Christ.” The Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

I don’t know that I completely understood the meaning of these words from the Rule when I became an Oblate twenty years ago. I had a better understanding of what I was being asked to take on versus what I was being asked to surrender in life. As is true in life, our spiritual insight grows with time too. I desired a life of prayer for the monastery and for the world. I desired community with the Sisters of St. Benedict, St. Mary Monastery and with other oblates in our community or the world-wide Oblate community. I desired to grow in my spiritual life and saw living the life of an Oblate as a way to help me on that path.

While the charism of the Franciscans, Carmelites, Dominicans and Jesuits were (and are) close to my heart, and way of viewing the world spiritually, the Benedictine monastic influence spoke most strongly to my heart and way of living in the world. To use another phrase from an online community that is important to me, I wanted to be a “monk in the world“. I considered entering the Benedictine community as a religious, but the idea of being obedient to a prioress and a specific community wasn’t something I was willing to commit to.

Over time, most especially this past year, I have grown in my understanding of what service to the King really means. I have, and am, evaluating the things that I give my mind and attention, my time, and my resources to. I didn’t want to promise obedience to a prioress in a religious community but was I also avoiding my commitment and fidelity to Christ the King?

If I look at choices over the past 25 years, most weren’t bad choices (sadly there were times!) but they were based on wants vs. desires or needs. I try to live in a way that is representative of calling myself a Catholic Christian, or being a member of my parish community and an Oblate of a Benedictine community. But I was searching. I was looking for ways that those activities, or ways of being in the world, would help me spiritually and would fill me up. My desire lately has shifted to how my participation in life brings me closer in my relationship with God and helps me understand the gifts and talents I have so that they may be used in service of God and others. It’s a subtle difference but a dramatic one.

I was looking to grow spiritually because of how it made me feel versus how it prepares me to live a life with God forever. That doesn’t mean that we have to ignore desires and dreams for this life. I have learned that God desires those for us too. But as we look at all the gifts we have in life, which were given to us freely and as a way to know God better, we consider them and respond to God out of love and thanksgiving for them.

The Thanksgiving holiday this week gives us the perfect opportunity to look at our lives, the many ways we have been blessed, and offer thanks to God. As you reflect on all you have to be grateful for this year, I invite you to consider how you can use those gifts in service of God. How might you bring more light to a dark world? How can you bring hope in a time of despair? How might you offer resources or service to those in need? Are there small changes you can make that reflect a concern for our planet, to be a good steward of the Earth? Take this week, as an extended New Year’s Eve of the liturgical year, and contemplate whether your choices each day reflect your priorities in life. What King do you serve?

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Artwork I purchased from the National Eucharistic Congress. “Christ the King, the Sacred Heart”, created by Ruth A Stricklin of New Jerusalem Studios.

Confusing times

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, surrender, surrender novenaLeave a comment

Christmas in July for sales and TV Hallmark movies, Halloween in September and then Christmas sales bulldoze over Thanksgiving. I haven’t decorated for Christmas yet. Actually Thanksgiving decor, now that Halloween has been taken down, to mix in with other Fall items, are still in the tub on the floor. That’s a task for Monday. But I opened an email this weekend from a crafting company I follow to find a sale on Valentine’s Day stamps and paper. I understand that companies want us to have what we need when we are ready to mentally prepare for, shop or decorate, and begin planning for a holiday. When I was more active with my stamping business I knew you had to order new items early so that you could share them with others, so they had time to order and use them. I get it!

Yesterday my friend, Kathy, and I took a drive to check out a bakery I have wanted to visit (the seasonal task of finding the perfect Potica has begun!) and then visited a nursery and another local shop to browse Christmas decorations. I am not ready to put decorations up until after Thanksgiving but I love getting ideas and smelling the smells of greens, candles and coffee. I can get excited just like, maybe even more, than the next person!

But Valentine’s Day before we even reach December 1. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous!

We are also in a confusing time of transition with the government. Half of our country voted for change, a few dollars in the wallet, but at what cost? I am concerned that we have lost a deep respect for the dignity and rights of all people and for our constitution. Will we really see a protection of the lives of the unborn as promised but only to exclude the protection of those seeking safety, a better future for themselves and their families? I don’t know the answers. I do know I can’t watch the news to find out, it’s too disturbing to my inner peace. Instead I pray and hope. As a Benedictine Oblate, I keep the words of St. Benedict close to my heart and strive to welcome Christ in all others, regardless of our differences and opinions.

Personally I am in a season of change and transition too, leaving a ministry team I was part of for the past three years. What lies ahead? I’m not sure. I’m excited but if I get too far ahead of myself, like Valentine’s Day in November, I get stressed out. To prepare myself, I began praying a Surrender Novena last week, so that I could end it on the transition day, November 19, from this life to the next, of Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, the author of the novena. It reminds me daily that we worry about things we can’t control, we allow ourselves to get agitated and fret, focused on the transitory aspects of life. Of course we do what we can do with what we have, we live our lives as best we can. But, the way to peace is to surrender and trust in God.

This weekend, the week before the Solemnity of Christ the King, and two weeks from the First Sunday of Advent, beginning a new liturgical year, we are reminded that none of this lasts. Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13: 24-32) So we live in the world but are not of it. We enjoy the blessings we have been given and the beauty of this earth, realizing that none of it really belongs of us. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, all that I have will not change that. None of it goes with me. We use our gifts and talents so that we have more joy, discover and fulfill the purpose we have been given, but we use those gifts knowing we are meant to serve with them, to serve God and to serve others. These final Sundays of the liturgical year remind us to be watchful and alert, and to put our attention on the things that last.

As we move through the rest of November I invite us all to be aware of the gifts we have been given, the blessings of good friends and family. Celebrate those at Thanksgiving! Then enter into the Advent season, quietly preparing your heart to recall the gift of the Incarnation, God becoming one with us. Try to find moments to pause and reflect on scripture or Advent chants and carols. It truly makes the celebration of Christmas and the New Year, the Solemnity of Mary, more meaningful and joyful.

Take it slow, one day at a time, breathe and pause to give thanks, or ask for the grace to remain calm, despite all the preparations and crazy pace of the season. The simple act of giving thanks each evening, whether in a journal or as part of your evening prayer, heightens your awareness of the gift that life is and the people who walk with you through it. Let us be intentional as we move through these remaining day of 2024 about being at peace, enjoying each day we have been given and celebrating all we have. Things will never be perfect in our lives or in the world, so let us turn back to God, like the healed leper that returned to Jesus to give praise and thanks, knowing that it is all gift anyway.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Enjoy a moment of calm with a natural fountain at the Nicholas Conservatory and Gardens. Let it be a reminder to “go with the flow”.

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!

Duc in altum

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, sacred listening, sacred waiting, season of change, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

A little over three years ago I was discerning whether a part-time role on a virtual ministry team was the right opportunity for me. Since the ministry was founded by an author that I had read, I picked up Becky Eldredge’s book, The Inner Chapel, to read it again and get familiar with the person I was considering working for. Early in her book (Chapter 2 “Spiritual Growth is like Stepping into the Ocean”), Becky shared an image of her children at the ocean’s edge with varying degrees of confidence to enter the water to swim and play. Her eldest child was brave and ready to run headlong into the water. Her middle child was curious, ready to explore but more tentative about how deep she wanted the water around her to be. The youngest child was reluctant, initially, but then willing to play in the water but safely at the water’s edge.

As St. Ignatius, in the Spiritual Exercises, encourages us to do in prayer, I closed my eyes and entered a prayerful contemplation of standing at the ocean’s edge, considering my own desire after years of corporate work to go deeper in my journey of faith and to discover whether it was time to consider a role that would combine my skills at work and my desire to help others on their faith journeys. I saw myself walking confidently in the water but stopping with the water around my neck and my feet firmly planted on the sand beneath me. I felt safe but surrounded by the water with an occasional splash of a wave in my face. As I opened my eyes in the contemplation I saw Jesus ahead of me, deeper in the waters. With a curled index finger, he looked at me lovingly and said, “come deeper”. I paused, reluctant to move past the security of the footing I had beneath me. I looked at his eyes again, that inviting finger urging me forward, and I began to go deeper, keeping myself afloat with the support of the spiritual waters of grace. That imaginative prayer became my sign that it was time to move forward in faith. I was offered the position and accepted it, beginning a three year journey of ministry work.

A couple of weeks ago I prayed an Ignatian contemplation with Luke’s version (Luke 5: 1-11) of Jesus’ calling of the apostles. The apostles had been out fishing all night but Jesus sees them, coming back empty-handed, and invites them to cast their nets out again, on the other side of their boat. They are reluctant at first, even challenging Jesus, but cast their nets and bring in a huge haul of fish. They marvel at the miracle, express their faith, and begin their ministry life of following Jesus. As I prayed with this scripture, I heard Jesus invite me to cast my net, to “put out into the deep” (the meaning of the Latin words Duc in Altum), and not to be afraid.

Decision making and listening to the will of God in our lives isn’t always easy. We have our individual will and freedom, God will never ask that of us. But if we want to go deeper in our faith lives and relationship with God, we have to be willing to risk the unknown. Sometimes it might be an invitation just to enter the water a bit more, moving from ankle deep to knee deep waters. Sometimes it is casting a net in faith, unaware of the catch we will bring in. But always, always, Jesus is there to encourage us and let us know that we do not walk, or swim, alone.

Is there an invitation from God you have been hearing? Is it still a whisper or has God’s voice been beckoning louder? I offer these images of standing at the water’s edge, or hearing Jesus ask you to cast your net, for your prayer and consideration. Be willing to hear the invitation. You don’t have to rush, but if you listen, your life might never be the same!

Duc in altum, do not be afraid!

Wishing you abundance peace, Deena

Photo: one of the families on our Italy pilgrimage exploring the ocean edge in Nettuno.

Make my heart like your heart

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Sacred Heart of Jesus, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Early this morning there was a beautiful frost on the ground. It wasn’t the first frost of the Fall but the scene stopped me and invited me pause and reflect on its beauty. As I sat to journal and do my Examen from Saturday, I watched the sun begin to grow higher and brighter in the sky, which then resulted in a slow and steady line of frost that was being melted by the sun. The patch of frost remaining, grew smaller and smaller. Eventually it was gone.

I thought about the human heart, the wounds we all hold and carry with us. The times we have been hurt and the times we have hurt others. Healing is a journey. It doesn’t happen overnight and I have learned I can’t do it on my own. In our human frailty, it’s not possible. We need the Love that always loves, always forgives, always desires what is best for us.

This past summer I developed a new interest and fondness to the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. As a Catholic I have grown up aware of the devotion but it’s never been a regular part of my prayer life. But I was praying for answers, for clarity and direction. Entering into prayer each day, using a novena prayer, I began a process of sharing all that was on my heart with Jesus. Then things got hard again and I stopped. (You can insert the game show buzzer at this point, “wrong answer!”)

When I learned that Pope Francis had written a new encyclical on the Sacred Heart of Jesus, I was excited, as if waiting for a gift on Christmas. I set my alarm this past Thursday, woke up early to visit Vatican News, and begin reading the encyclical, Dilexit Nos, a Latin expression that means “He has loved us”. I have had the time and space to spend more time reading it, and reflecting on the deep wisdom, this weekend. I already have my digital version marked up with favorite quotes and insights to ponder. It’s a beautiful treatise on the human and divine love of Jesus expressed through his Sacred Heart.

I have returned to one of the thoughts shared in the encyclical several times since reading it. Pope Francis says “If we devalue the heart, we also devalue what it means to speak from the heart, to act with the heart, to cultivate and heal the heart. If we fail to appreciate the specificity of the heart, we miss the messages that the mind alone cannot communicate; we miss out on the richness of our encounters with others; we miss out on poetry. We also lose track of history and our own past, since our real personal history is built with the heart. At the end of our lives, that alone will matter.” Later in that section, he says, “It could be said, then, that I am my heart, for my heart is what sets me apart, shapes my spiritual identity and puts me in communion with other people.”

My heart is what sets me apart.

Three times in his gospel, Luke writes that “Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” Over the past month or so, the idea of allowing myself to explore the deep desires and wounds in my heart has become stronger. I have begun to see an integral connection between my studies in counseling and the spiritual life. I want to dig in and study more about this relationship. I have heard Sr. Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, speak of this level of healing in many of her talks. She has said that “The past is the past unless it’s being lived out in the present”. We think we can mask the wounds and say “it doesn’t matter” or if we manage it well enough no one will notice, but can we? She speaks eloquently about the reasons for our behavior, that we are doing what we are doing because our hearts have been broken. We allow things to come out, in healing therapy or spiritual direction, so that we can heal them.

The best gift we can give ourselves is to take those wounds or concerns and bring them, open handed, and give them over to the wounded heart of Jesus who knows all the same hurts, betrayals, abandonment that we experience. But the difference is that Jesus is centered in love and his relationship with the Father. He will not judge, he will not condemn, he will only offer love and an invitation to come closer. “The heart of Jesus is ‘the natural sign and symbol of his boundless love.'”

The more we grow in trust of that Love, the more we are able to offer that love to others.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like your own.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: A stained glass window of the Sacred Heart, St Scholastica and St. Gertrude at St. Scholastica Monastery in Fort Smith, Arkansas

Link to Dilexit Nos: https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2024-10/he-loved-us-the-pope-s-encyclical-on-the-sacred-heart.html

Coming home to myself

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

I traveled as part of my job as a sales operations manager for a corporation before retiring. Most of my customers were on the west coast so it was almost always air travel from O’Hare Airport versus a car trip. As I returned from each business trip, traveling on interstates 294 and 55 then on to I80 which crosses Illinois from east to west, I would literally feel the tension in my body diminishing once I got past the distribution centers on 80 heading west toward the “Illinois Valley”. As I left the crowded industrial areas and began to see the corn and bean fields, even in the winter with no plants growing, I could breathe again. I knew I was headed home.

Lately I have felt a congestion in my spirit, much like traveling in those suburban areas near the airport. I let worrying about personal responsibilities and working too many hours fan a flame within. It was certainly my choice to work more due to some circumstances and tasks that needed to be completed for the ministry work I do. Regarding personal concerns, I know that worrying about life doesn’t change the circumstance but somehow I keep revisiting the concerns as if the more I think about it the more likely it will change. But like the taper that I use to put out the candles after Saturday Vigil Masses at my parish, I was slowly putting out a light within.

This week a friend and I returned to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, Il to see the colors of Fall in the lush gardens. The minute we set foot on the path leaving the Welcome Center, I took a deep breath of the cool Fall air, the smell of wood and leaves, and felt my body relax again. I relaxed to a place within that I hadn’t felt in months. We crossed the Giboshi Bridge, also called the “devotion bridge”, the Alaskan yellow cedar bridge with giboshi black finials on the posts, recently renovated, with the intention of leaving the dust of the world behind, as recommended by our docent during our visit in June. The trees, colors of the leaves, occasional mum in pots, the ducks and geese in the ponds, and the flowing waters helped bring about a sense of inner peace and contentment.

Later in the week I attended a discussion meeting, with other Benedictine Oblates, at the monastery of the Sisters of St. Benedict at St. Mary Monastery. We were discussing the process of invitation and formation of oblates to our Benedictine Oblate community. There are 25,000 Benedictine Oblates worldwide, each of us associated with specific monasteries or communities. Our monastery oblate groups are located within 7 locations in Central Illinois and Indiana. As the number of sisters at the monastery decreases, and the sisters age, we discussed how important it was to begin to take on the responsibilities of inviting new people to consider the oblate life of prayer and study. We acknowledged statistics that reflect a growing desire in men and women to find spiritual support and meaning beyond parish life. As we discussed our Benedictine values, and the oblate life we are committed to, again I felt a serenity within.

On the evening of the full “supermoon” this week, I shared an article on my personal Facebook page written by Brother Guy Consolmagno SJ, Director of the Vatican Observatory. Brother Guy recommended a daily practice of looking at the heavens each evening, even if just for a few minutes. He stated that by doing so we become attuned to the natural rhythms of our world and cosmos and are reminded of something greater than ourselves. But I would add that we also begin to sense our place in a greater purpose and reason for being. As I stepped outside after reading the article I gazed up at the gorgeous moon shining brightly in the evening sky and once again, I felt at home within. I felt peace and contentment. I felt alive.

This week I invite you to consider the times and places that you feel that you come home to yourself, places that you know you are being and in touch with your true authentic self and your relationship with God. If you haven’t been visiting those places, or doing things that make you feel alive in your spirit, what might you do so that you experience it again? It just might be as simple as looking at gorgeous Fall colors and breathing deeply!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: The Giboshi Bridge at Anderson Japanese Gardens in October. I shared a photo of the bridge earlier this year in a post. The Fall colors beyond the bridge were stunning.