Category: Our unique call

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Go deeper

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christ the King, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

At one point this past week I had the thought, a typical one for me toward the end of Lent, I would like to start Lent over, or I could have done more. But, here we are at Palm Sunday and the beginning of Holy Week. It’s the most solemn and holy week of the liturgical year and gives us the opportunity to enter more deeply into the mysteries of our faith.

Whatever we did, or didn’t do as well as we would have liked, our Lenten practices of increased prayer and devotion, fasting and sharing our resources with those in need, aren’t something that have to stop after Easter next weekend. I might not choose to be as rigorous with fasting and some of the extra devotions, like Stations of the Cross, that may no longer be offered in our parishes, but there are opportunities to continue to let these daily practices open my heart to God and consider the attachments in my life that are a hinderance in my relationship with God.

The Lenten practices that we chose have the intention of clearing away the noise and distraction, in hopes of opening my heart more fully to God. It isn’t a race to simply cross a finish line and congratulate ourselves at the end for a job well done. If I was able to create a space to enter more deeply into relationship with God, why would I close the door now?

Over the past few weeks we have listened carefully to ways in both the Old and New Testaments that people heard and responded to the word of God. To really hear it, versus just listen to it, we internalize it and let it begin to shape who we are and how we show up each day in our encounters with others and in the choices we make in life.

This week gives us further opportunity to reflect on Jesus’ message and the immense sacrifice given in complete love for us. No matter how Lent went for us, we can allow this week to be one of a little more silence and reflection. Attend your parish or church services recalling the Lord’s Supper, Passion and Death on the Cross, and then after sitting in the silence of Holy Saturday, wait to celebrate the joy of Easter Resurrection. Slow down, enter into the holiness of this week. Listen to the scripture readings and reflect on the gifts you have in life and how God has showered love on you and those you love. Reflect on how you can share that Love with those you encounter.

If Lent has not changed us, it’s not too late. This week is our chance to go deeper.

Wishing you abundant graces this Holy Week. Deena

Image: A Station of the Cross on the grounds of Subiaco Abbey in Subiaco, Arkansas visited during a Benedictine Conference.

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A cry before God

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Compassion, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, ora et labora, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

This week my 4th Week of Lent journey with a Different Kind of Fast by Christine Valters Painter was to fast from holding it all together and embrace tenderness and vulnerability. I don’t know about you but when you are not feeling 100%, that kind of openness and sensitivity comes even easier. It seemed that no matter where I turned there was a story that resulted in an easy flow of tears. Our practice this week was to resist the demand to keep pushing through when your heart (and in my case this week, also my body) is crying out for a pause.

It seemed this openness attracted even more stories that pulled at my heartstrings and resulted in a pause of compassion and benevolence. A concerning personal update, reasons to stop and assess my all too frequent judgements, a friend’s family member hospitalized and on life support after a fluke accident, prayers for the daughter of a social media friend who became ill while studying in Italy, endless stories of children and families impacted by the war, a cat that was returned to a foster home after the traveling pet owners decided they couldn’t properly care for him (who is expressing his displeasure and fear openly), and another one, locally, who was placed in a shelter due to military relocation. If it wasn’t for the recent death of Bela, I might have considered bringing her home, but tears at PetSmart quickly helped me realize I don’t want to open myself to that kind of attachment again.

Christine Valters Painter shares in our Lenten study, a statement by Orthodox Christian theologian John Chryssavgis: “Tears and weeping indicate a significant frontier in the way of the desert. They bespeak a promise. In fact, they are the only way into the heart.” St. Ignatius of Loyola, Christine states, told us that the tears make us more attentive to the longings of our hearts. In other studies I have learned that St. Monica was known to weep daily for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine. Those tears obviously bore much fruit. St. Catherine of Siena, a personal favorite, was known for her gift of tears that were seen as a sign of her sensitivity and compassion.

I found myself pausing on the verse, as I prayed our Lectio with John 11:32-35, crying with Mary, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” It was a fitting passage for this week because today, the Fifth Sunday of Lent, we heard this gospel of the death and raising of Lazarus. Pope Leo XIV reminded us, today during his Angelus message, that this gospel is an invitation to hear the Lord’s call to new life, reminding us we get lost looking to the world in things that will never bring true happiness, that we are longing, in fact, for the infinite.

After this Angelus message and prayer, Pope Leo once again called for an end to violence, reminding us we cannot remain silent. We cannot ignore, he said, that what is harming those who are impacted by war and violence is harming us all. He urged us to persevere in prayer, reminding us that war is “a scandal to the entire human family and a cry before God.”

It might feel safer to pretend it isn’t happening and imagine that life is just fine, ignoring the news and tragedies occurring in the lives of our brothers and sisters. Or we can risk the compassion of Jesus, weeping at the death of his friend, embracing tenderness and vulnerability for those in need. We share our tears with those shed by others and make a cry before God for peace in our lives, personal and global.

I pray for peace in our hearts and in our world. Deena

Image: A photo I took of a stained glass window of our Lady with the body of Jesus being removed from the cross, in the chapel above the Holy Stairs, Scala Santa, in Rome. These stairs are believed to be the stairs leading up to the praetorium of Pontius Pilate in Jerusalem that Jesus had to climb several times before his death.

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Pray for peace

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Lenten journey, Our unique call, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I begin by stating that I understand and support the notion that we create internal peace by staying out of negative and political social media posts, staying away from the news except to remain informed, or worrying about a war that we have absolutely no control over.

I get it, I really do. I am trying hard to create peace internally and in my small sphere of influence. I continue to write in my journal, as I have for months, that each day is going to be my peaceful day and I focus on that goal each day.

But when I see a little boy crying in a Lebanese hospital because he was bombed and saw his father in pieces before him, I also know we cannot hide from the reality of what this evil war is doing to innocent people. There are times we must speak out and defy what is happening. It is not making our country safer, richer or better off. I don’t need to share all the information about what is happening each day and how much it is costing our country. You can read that on your own.

I join Pope Leo XIV appealing to “those responsible for this conflict: cease fire!” I join him in asking each of us to look at what is happening with the eyes of Jesus. In today’s gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Lent Jesus cures the blind man. We can open our eyes or keep them shut. Pope Leo also said, “It takes a vigilant, careful and prophetic faith to open eyes to the darkness of the world and bring the light of the Gospel to them through commitment to peace, justice and solidarity.”

Speak up when you can. Support those in need in whatever way you are able. Vote to make a difference.

Most importantly, let us pray for peace in our world.

Deena

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Go sit in your cell

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, Benedictine Oblate, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Lenten journey, mindfulness, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

When asked for a word of wisdom, Abba Moses, one of the early desert fathers, told the seeker “Go sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” The journey of Lent is one of going within, engaging in disciplines that help us see, hear and respond more freely to the call of the Christ. This week I was called deeper into the desert.

After picking up the remains of my cat, Bela, on Tuesday, I felt a desire, and an inner call, to greater solitude. I needed space to process grief on many levels, not just losing Bela. I picked up some groceries, advised a couple people who needed to know that I wouldn’t be participating in “normal” activities for the remainder of the week. I turned within. I did have some text or phone conversations as needed, did some required social media posts on sites I post for, but spent the week reading, reflecting and journaling. I created a personal and private retreat in my home. Just like entering a silent retreat and questioning whether I would be able to gracefully encounter the time in silence, Wednesday morning I questioned what I was doing, I “should be…” Fortunately those temptations were met quickly and I easily fell in the rhythm of my self-created retreat.

When we set aside time and space for reflection, it’s amazing what shows up. Or perhaps, the quietude invites greater attention to the world as it always is around us, without a blur of motion, internal and external. For most of us the mind is a turbulent ocean, or sea, waves crashing and distracting us all of the time, but when the waves calm down we can see into the depth of the sea more clearly.

I was invited again this year to imagine receiving an empty clay bowl from Abba Arsenius, another of the early desert fathers, (Retreat: A Different Kind of Lent) as I had been given in the past. In the bowl we can visualize all the activities that fill up the bowl each day, distracting or addictive behavior, and then intentionally empty the bowl to create a spacious place to receive what is more life-giving.

Not everything I read or encountered was spiritual or faith reading. Most was. I also listened to a discussion by an author and life coach, Cheryl Richardson, who I followed more closely several years ago, but have been tuning into more frequently lately. She offered simple self-care wisdom during these challenging times we are experiencing. (These were offered in a quite humorous and sarcastic way, such as eat more sugar, make sure you always have your phone so you don’t miss a social media post, read every comment on them, and of course, stay up late each day!) I felt a longing for activities, or information, like that from my past. Things that were authentically me, things that inspired, shaped and formed me. Somehow they became “less spiritual”, a bogus assessment of where one is capable of experiencing God or Spirit.

I stitched – if you have stitched, crocheted, knitted or maybe even done puzzles or diamond art, you know it can become a method of quieting the mind. A stitch in, and a stitch out, can shape a slow pace for mindful breathing. It can become a way to let go, creating a framework for a quiet pause.

St John of the Cross said, which was often shared and made popular by Trappist monk, Thomas Keating, “Silence is God’s first language. Everything else is a poor translation.” In stillness we can hear what is more essential. Nothing I “heard” or read this week was an earth-shattering revelation, but I was awed, and grateful for, the insights that did form throughout the week. Like the Samaritan woman in today’s Third Sunday of Lent gospel, I have been at the well thirsting for a drink. This week, during my quiet pause, I was given a long, cool, refreshing drink.

It’s not practical for me to be able to retreat completely like that every week but I can certainly create more quiet spaces each day. I also want to continue to assess that my daily activities are done from a place of desire or service, not expectation. If any of this sounds inviting to you, perhaps you can consider some time in your day for a sacred pause to turn within and listen.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: my purple bowl, a visual to remind myself to fill it more consciously and lovingly with things that matter.

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Start with a dream and dream big

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Dream big, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, ora et labora, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom2 Comments

I love the Opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and the Winter 2026 Opening Ceremonies did not disappoint (ok, it’s in Milan and Cortina, so I might be a bit biased). I loved it all – Andrea Bocelli, the dove image and message of peace, the adorable Italian hand gesture lesson, the all female color guard in Armani suits, the colorful flowing paint tubes, dancing composers and, (seriously? How creative and representative of Italy!), giant colorful moka pots, I was thrilled.

Beginning with a sequence of the winter athletes watching their younger selves practicing their sport was an inspiring first segment for the Ceremonies! Having watched young people grow into adulthood, in my own family, with their specific goals and ambitions, and achieve those dreams is equally inspiring. I paused to reflect how some people are so inspired at a young age to pursue a goal, and the relentless practice to accomplish it. It’s a gift to be so confident and determined.

On Friday I was reminded that we are all encouraged to dream big. A reflection by Monk Mindset challenged me to consider that we would never tell a young child to dream mediocre dreams, to aspire to goals that are “less than” what they might desire. We don’t tell a child, or at least I hope we don’t, not to dream big because it is grandiose or presumptuous to want to accomplish something in life. My niece’s 7 year old has mentioned she wants to be a Lego Master. So why not?! She’s immensely talented at it and there are such individuals called Lego Masters in the world. Whether that comes to pass or it morphs into some other creative, and equally talented, skillset of planning, designing and creating, it doesn’t matter. I want to encourage her to believe in that dream! I would not dare to tell her to focus on something less exciting!

Fr. John of Monk Mindset continued to suggest that we might spend some time in prayer and discernment about the deepest desires in our hearts. It reminds me so much of Ignatian Spirituality and the notion that God is discovered when we spend time reflecting on the desires of the heart. In true discernment, we explore those desires that are ordered toward God, that lead to greater faith, hope and love of God. In that discernment we will uncover something that God might intend us to desire and pursue. When we have identified a spiritually noble and ambitious dream, then we have to courage to ask God to aid us as we run confidently toward it.

These dreams would not be petty desires or visions of grandiose and self-promoting accomplishments. Fr. John reminded that we need to be open to and allow room for purification and alteration of those desires toward the will of God in our lives. In prayer and contemplation, we weed out the disordered attachments and desires and seek those that best use our gifts and talents to serve God and others. I always thought, why would God want me to be an accountant when my heart does not move in that direction. So I don’t have to fear asking God what ways I can best serve.

I was also reminded, seeing a recent post from Hay House, that Louise Hay, an author and founder of Hay House Publishing, began her life’s work late in life. After a divorce and cancer diagnosis she began to write and at the age of 62 opened her publishing company, which remains a leader in the world of self-help and personal fulfillment publications. Do I desire to open a publishing house or author several books? No, but perhaps some of the other ideas that I lay in bed and dream of deserve a bit more reflection, prayer and discernment.

We can all make a difference in the world by using our gifts and talents. What are your dreams that lay dormant? Spend some time this week and reflect on ways that your future might be as grand as God imagines for you.

One of the best commercials I have seen so far is by Toyota with young girls repeating positive affirmations from their father in a car. The tag line is “Every destination has a beginning.” What’s your destination?

Wishing you abundant peace and joy this week, Deena

Image: created in Canva

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In the beginning

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Compassion, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Life of purpose, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

The Center for Action and Contemplation in New Mexico, published a series this past week on Creation. Each week, Fr. Richard Rohr’s (Franciscan priest and founder of CAC) writings, as well as those of other writers, poets and theologians, are shared in a daily blog. Each day, this week, has challenged me to reflect on creation as an ongoing act of God’s love. Recent events have weighed heavily on some of us. Yet, in the midst of turmoil, there have also been moments of great peace and tranquility, solidarity and hope. Those stories might be harder to find, but they are there.

If you read the Bible, especially the early stories in Genesis, it’s a mess! Lies, deception, betrayal, thousands of Israelites defeated in battle, and exile. We know these stories were passed down to preserve an ancient heritage and the wisdom gleaned through that history. These words carry a truth that despite all of the sin and error committed by our early families in faith, an ultimate truth remains. As Fr. Richard wrote, this story shared through generations “is saying that everything is grace, everything is gift, everything comes from God. God is the one who makes something out of nothing and gives it to us, not only then, but now. God created both the natural universe and our own human nature, and all of it is good. All of it is to be enjoyed, if we can receive it as a gift.”

Brian McLaren’s article in the series invited us to remember that all of creation is good and that in that creation, all matter and each person, are part of the story and are different branches on the tree of life. Later in the week, theologian Elizabeth Johnson shared a more poetic perspective, that existence itself is an ongoing act of God’s love, and that “without the ongoing creative power of God at every moment, all would collapse into … an unimaginable no-thing.” She stated the “Creator gives with great affection; creatures receive. Nothing in the great world would exist but for this constant relationship.”

We are rereading the newer (2010) translation of Sr. Joan Chittister’s commentary on The Rule of St. Benedict in our monthly Oblate gatherings. Sr Joan, in the section on the Prologue of The Rule, which has guided monastics for well over 1,500 years, proposes that in “failing to respond to God everywhere God is around us, we may lose the power of God that is in us.” We have all been failed by the things of this world, the people in our lives, leaders both personal, local and national, security in our work and our homes, things that will not ultimately satisfy us. God is the only “lifeline” when nothing else fulfills and satisfies, and when the world feels to be imploding, it is comforting to remember the source of all goodness continues to create out of love for us.

I do not suggest that a solution is ignorance of current events. I am inspired by those who choose to more actively represent, and speak out for, the just and equitable principles that our country was founded and has been guided by. But when I feel myself reacting with rage and condemnation, I remember the words I reflect on each morning and evening, from the venerable monks walking for peace, unless we have peace in our hearts, we will never have peace in the world. So I pause, mindful of the present moment, and turn inward. I reflect on the warmth of the sun through the window, the tea in my mug, and I send a silent prayer, a prayer for peace in my being and a peaceful solution to what is happening in our country.

I can’t think of a better way to pray for and reflect on the drastic change needed in our country today, than on the eve of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, to share one of his most famous quotes, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.”

May we be light. May we embody peace. May we be a seed in the ongoing act of creation. May we be a source of inspiration to those seeking answers in a world that will never provide them at the deepest level. Amen.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Photo: A recent sunset, a visible sign of the glory of creation.

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Guide our feet into the way of peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christmas Peace, Coming home to myself, Compassion, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey2 Comments

In the very first paragraph of the Introduction of Joan Chittister’s book, The Monastic Heart, she asks “Where do we go now as individuals to find our way out of the shadows and toward a new light?” She says that each of us have within a desire to be more of ourselves, to figure out what is being asked of us when the “pressures of our time seem insoluble and our inherent energy begins to fray.” Her answer to these problems of the world, or the unsettled spaces within our spirit, is monastic living. “Monasticism is the single-hearted search for what matters in life.”

But don’t despair, you don’t have to run off to a monastery to live a life guided by monastic principles. You do it where you are, as you are, but guided by different values.

Granted that isn’t always easy. As a Benedictine Oblate, I have promised to live by monastic values and The Rule of St. Benedict. But, this week has tested my ability to see Christ in the other, to allow solitude to bring calm and clarity when inside my thoughts and feelings are tumbling, and to be thoughtful in speech, knowing what to say and when to say it. Thankfully support comes from many places, most especially during this Christmas season.

Christine Valters Paintner, author and online abbess of Abbey of the Arts, described the “inner monk” in her weekly email this morning. Christine said “The ‘inner monk’ seeks God as the source of all being, searches for a mystical connection to the divine source, longs for what is most essential in life, and cultivates this through a commitment to spiritual practice. The monk is nourished through silence and a commitment to see everything as sacred.” Reminders such as these, to see the world from a contemplative perspective, to find mystery, wonder and awe in daily life, are critical for me, as I attempt to maintain a balance of being informed but not being pulled down in a pit of despondency and hopelessness.

I don’t have blinders on by any means. As a monastic, a Benedictine Oblate, we aren’t called to that. But, I can only watch a limited amount of news (or videos as the case was this week) before I feel it getting too heavy for my spirit. I have chosen updates from sources I trust. I prefer these updates from political historians, like Heather Cox Richardson, or award winning journalist, who worked for 60 Minutes and National Geographic, Jeff Newton. People that have the experience to back their perspective. Although I will also admit to enjoyed the clever, daily updates from Pasture Politics, a farm from Upstate New York. I have no idea of his background, (will admit it’s closer to my political views and not unbiased), but it’s innovative and captivating.

Joan Chittister, in The Monastic Heart, says that “every moment of social tension needs a peacemaker.” But the “truth is that only one thing can really bring peace: the commitment not to destroy other people’s sense of self, of dignity, of value in the name of truth.” That makes keeping up on social media difficult. Every post brings deep and cutting responses, full of malice, contempt and an attempt to demean versus state an opposing opinion. It’s sad. It’s uncalled for. It will not bring peace.

This past two months I found another source of inspiration for compassion and peace, besides my daily prayer and reflection. My friend Maribeth shared with me the journey of the Buddhist monks (@walkforpeaceusa on Facebook) walking a 120 day, 2,300-mile journey from Fort Worth, Texas (the home of their monastery) to Washington D.C. Their only goal is to raise awareness of peace, loving kindness and compassion. It is not to raise money, to convert people to Buddhism, or to mention any specific national event or ideology. I listen to their talks daily and have never once heard an unkind or judgmental statement. This week I had a deeply personal involvement with their journey. Two weeks ago, when Mari and I saw that they would be nearing her home in South Carolina, I asked her if she was going to attend. We began following their daily schedule. I encouraged her to attend, and hoped she would. I said given more time to plan, and care for my cats at home, I would have picked up and flown to make the journey with her. She did attend and after capturing videos and special moments at the Saluda County Courthouse, and accepting a peace bracelet for me from a monk, she admitted to me that the only reason she attended was for me, but was glad that she did have the opportunity to be with them. My heart was overflowing with gratitude for the gift of her friendship and for the ability for both of us to encounter the monks, even if my presence with her was virtual.

It hasn’t altered my Christian beliefs, but it has enriched them. Venerable Bhikkhu Pannakara suggests a practice, in his daily teachings, that I have incorporated into my daily journaling. It is a simple practice. It is to begin the day by writing (with pen and paper, not just thinking or typing it), “Today is going to be my peaceful day.” It is simple, easy but powerful. It helps me desire peace before being exposed to or consuming the thoughts of others or letting thoughts of worry or fear hijack my day.

Imagine if our first thoughts were of peace and if we wished for others what the monks wish for all in each and every post they make on social media; May we be mindful in everything we do throughout the day. May you and all beings be well, happy and at peace.

By the way, a local news channel recorded the Saluda talk. It’s a bit soft and hard to hear at the beginning but well worth sticking with it. It is a wonderful summary of all they are sharing on their journey. You can find it by clicking here. This was the event that Maribeth attended.

As I pray each morning in the Benedictus, I wish and pray “In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Amen.

Wishing you abundant peace and happiness this week, Deena

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Go by another way

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, epiphany, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I sat down this morning to do social media work I have been hired to do, before starting this blog, and I heard a bird calling. It wasn’t the typical wrens or sparrows of the morning. It was clearly not cardinals or blue jays I hear in adjacent neighborhood trees. It’s too early for robins. It was distinct, different. I immediately got up to find it, in the front yard, or in my backyard tree. I couldn’t find it but I kept looking as it kept calling out. It stopped me from doing anything else, I couldn’t resist the invitation.

I wonder, as I reflect on the wise men in today’s Epiphany story, if these magi had the same urgency to respond to the unique star they were seeing, seeking the important event it was foretelling. It’s easy to ignore those inner promptings, whether as simple as the little bird I heard, or as illuminating as a distant star. We pass them off as impractical ideas or a passing flights of fancy.

Sometimes the way will find you, even if you go another way.

This Fall I listened to a talk, either by Fr. Bonafice Hicks or Sr. Miriam Heidland (my journal notes weren’t clear as I looked back), and a reference to a new book by Bishop Eric Varden on Chastity and how chastity, and Bishop Varden’s description of chastity, speak of a reconciliation of senses and a love of beauty. I had listened to Bishop Varden online in the past, and enjoy his teaching, so I ordered it immediately. Once it arrived, and I attempted reading, I quickly realized I was in over my head. I set it aside. I picked it up again at a later date and came to the same conclusion, I was not going to get the point so easily captured by the review I listened to.

During a recent homily, my pastor spoke of Bishop Varden, so Friday I dropped off the book, thinking he might enjoy reading it and would certainly be a better student of the concepts than I was. I consider myself fairly adept at spiritual literature and theological teaching. Not an intellectual, but also not completely amateur to spiritual reading. After all, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Siena, St. John of the Cross aren’t kindergarten reading and I enjoy spending time with their writings. I handed over the book as well as any hope of being able to understand it.

Friday night I was listening to a daily session of Minute Monk on the Hallow app, led by John Cannon, founder of Monk Mindset (a website but also a paid app released in 2025). The reflection was given by Fr. John on the Feast of Saints Basil and Gregory. He began talking about the Tools of Good Works in the Rule of St. Benedict and the love of chastity. He described chastity, not as an absence of sin, but as a good desire, a virtue, a mark of a human being fully alive. He then referenced Bishop Varden’s book on Chastity. I literally laughed out loud given that I handed over the book earlier in the day.

Ok, God I am listening, I exclaimed. Where are you leading me?

The summary was an excellent one, much like the one that led me to order the book in the Fall. Fr. John continued to describe chastity not as a list of do’s and don’ts but as an re-establishment of wholeness. It restores our senses to see and truly love, is a marker of integrity and allows us to see the world in truth, to have a contemplative spirit. It leads us to be more clearly attuned to our ultimate purpose of loving God and others.

For clarification for those who might be confused about chastity versus celibacy (a vow or state of being to remain unmarried and chaste), chastity is a broader virtue of having fidelity, sexually, to one’s state in life, whether being married or unmarried.

The instance wasn’t for me a reminder of living a chaste life, but instead was a reminder of living a contemplative life, focused on love and compassion for others (Compassion is my chosen “word” for 2026). It was a reminder that being free of other responsibilities, I have desired a life dedicated to prayer, contemplation and monastic virtues. But lately I have questioned how I have been living that commitment. How deep is my love of others when I react harshly, with judgment, to those I encounter? Am I seeing Christ in the other?

This morning, the USCCB social media pages, released a reflection on the Feast of the Epiphany by the Most Rev. Ronald Hicks, Archbishop-designate of New York and Bishop of Joliet. Even though he is Bishop in the nearby Diocese of Joliet, I have learned more about him recently as he has been introduced to the people of New York. He talked about how his experience of living in Central America transformed him, his experience of the people and the culture, changed him. He said that when he encounter Jesus and his word, in scripture, and the sacraments, when we care for others, we go home by another way. We are changed and we are challenged to carry that Light, that we have experienced, out to others.

Let it be so.

Wishing you a week of abundant hope and joy, Deena

Image: a photo of a sunset, a moment of beauty.

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The story of our families

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christmas Peace, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Family Stories, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Francis, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I have been reflecting this morning on the journey of my grandparents from Italy to Ellis Island, then on to Illinois. My grandmother was born, on this day, December 28, in 1898. She met my grandfather during the war. He traveled here first to get a job and then my grandmother came after. They had three children here. My grandmother lived, caring for her young children after my grandfather’s death, by first working in a factory and then in later years sewing for others. My other grandparents lived in the area as well, after migrating from Slovakia. My great-grandfather died in the Cherry Mine Disaster in 1909, when my grandfather was a young boy. The family name was changed for ease of describing who people were and where they came from while they worked, so the last name on one of the few tombstones in the Cherry Cemetery represents the area in Slovakia that he came from and then the name that became our family name here in the United States.

During the holidays I also recalled so many wonderful family occasions with aunts and uncles that are no longer with us. All families with struggles and accomplishments, just like any other family. My mother and father worked hard, in a variety of occupations, to provide for us. We moved from Illinois to upstate New York then back to Illinois again as my father followed his career and then desire to open his own business. My mom, a nurse, ceased her career to work alongside my father for over 25 years.

I am sure you have similar stories and history. Parents trying to provide for and do the best that they can for their children. Perfect? No, not by any means. But the family that we are one with and come from, the families that make us who we are, for better, or motivated to change. If you don’t know, or haven’t shared your family story, make a point to do so. There are so many details that I wish I had now, but they are gone with the memories of those who held them. But I am grateful for countless images captured in photos, like the one I share today, before we stored everything on our phones.

Today we celebrate the Feast of Holy Family, a young family also journeying in life, with Joseph doing his best to care for his little family. December 28 also recalls the death of the Holy Innocents, the young boys massacred because of a cruel and jealous king who couldn’t stand the thought of someone having more authority than him. The message that Joseph received, to flee to Egypt, saved Jesus from this horrible persecution.

Today, Pope Leo XIV reminded us that the world “has its ‘Herods,’ its myths of success at any cost, of unscrupulous power, of empty and superficial well-being, and it often pays the price in the form of loneliness, despair, divisions and conflicts.” He asked us to pray for all families suffering due to war and violent conflicts. We can pause and pray for all those families who, like our own families, are trying to find a better place in the world to live and flourish.

So today, reflect on the family that helped form you into the person you are today. Tell stories and share memories, so that they are passed on. If you are lucky enough to have them, spend time with old photos and recall family celebrations and gatherings.

Then as Pope Francis wished in his 2020 encyclical, Fratelli Tutti, “Let us dream, then, as a single human family, as fellow travelers sharing the same flesh, as children of the same earth which is our common home, each of us bringing the richness of his or her beliefs and convictions, each of us with his or her own voice, brothers and sisters all.” (No. 8).

Wishing you abundant joy and peace with the family memories that you hold, Deena

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We wait in love – Fourth Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Pause and rest, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Our theme this Fourth Sunday of Advent is Love. We listen to the story of Joseph’s dream and his response, with love, to take Mary into his home. We reflect on the coming Solemnity of Christmas and the love God demonstrates for all of us by sending his Son into the world. As we prepare to celebrate the coming of Christ into the world, by remembering his birth over 2000 years ago, we are invited to birth that love to others in our words and actions.

We’ve arrived, in just a couple of days, we end our Advent waiting and join the angels singing songs of praise for the birth of Jesus in our world. Do you feel prepared? Not just with all the activities of preparing for Christmas, but in your heart? Have to tried to make room each day to welcome the Christ?

I have certainly tried but each year I ponder whether I have prepared adequately, instead being too focused on all that needs to be done. So, today I will slow down the pace a bit. On this first day of Winter, I will accept the invitation to savor the longer night and reflect on my Advent preparation for the 8-day Christmas Solemnity, reflecting on the Incarnation of Jesus.

I offer these suggestions for you today as you prepare for Christmas this week:

Listen to this soothing musical Taize chant meditating on the coming of the Lord at Christmas, Wait for the Lord.

Contemplate the Incarnation of Jesus using the Ignatian prayer method written about by Becky Eldredge.

Continue our Advent daily prayer of the ancient and poetic O Antiphons (recited each day, from December 17 to December 23, as part of evening prayer in the Catholic Church) by listening to the Benedictine Sisters of Mary, Queen of the Apostles sing O Come O Come Emmanuel. Listen to it as prayer, rather than a familiar Christmas hymn, reflecting the longing in our hearts for a savior. Listen to each title for God as a plea for help, which one would you ask God for the grace of assistance this year? Perhaps O Wisdom – for guidance when confused or have a decision to make, or O Key of David – if you feel stuck or in need of a way where there feels there is none, or today’s verse, O Dayspring – help to clear the clouds of confusion, depression or grief that you might be holding in your heart.

We have a few days left. Let’s use them to prepare for this amazing gift of Love. Spend time pondering the source of every gift in life, consider the Spirit’s prompting us to share the love of Christ, and reflect on the real reason we celebrate Christmas Day, the coming of Christ into our world.

Wishing you abundant Love this week, Deena