Category: Saints as Models & Guides

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A whispering threshold

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a thin veil, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, remembering our beloved dead, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, Uncategorized, visionary faithLeave a comment

I visited the cemetery before Vigil Mass for All Souls Day yesterday (Saturday) afternoon to put small votive candles (as seen in today’s blog photo, I gave up on trying to keep real candles lit in the wind) on our family tombstones, a tradition on the evening of All Saints Day to light the path for souls and a symbol of love and remembrance. A few years ago there used to be groups praying as they visited each gravesite and many more candles. I only see a few now.

I love the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, altars with the many marigolds, pictures, food items and symbols decorating the ofrendas, altars, set up between October 27th and taken down shortly after All Souls Day. You can find many beautiful and elaborate pictures online if it is not celebrated in your area. At my parish, we have a lovely tradition of remembering our beloved dead with candles, many of us provide pictures to be placed by the candles, which will burn all month surrounding the altar. I love to reflect on the candles as all the souls that worship at the altar each Mass with us, Saints and saints, that join in our praise. I will add a photo of the candles this year, below, to the online version of this blog post.

There have been times during the year, or after the passing of someone dear, that I have experienced the thin veil between heaven and earth, the mist of time, more easily. Perhaps that is why I relish these days of All Hallows Eve, All Saints and All Souls so much. We can pause and reflect that it is literally a breath that binds us in our bodies and a more tangible realm. We take so many breaths each day for granted. If you have been with someone as they have breathed their last breath, you know how fragile and temporary life is.

This week, during my Wednesday Adoration time, Fr. Carlson played an organ piece, from the many he has downloaded and saved, that I hadn’t heard before. It was lovely, then dissonant like someone that might have hit the wrong note but it continued. It was jarring and unpleasant at times but then also hauntingly beautiful. I asked him about it afterwards but missed the name except that it was a Babylon meditation (if I get the full title this week, I will footnote it below). We reflected that it seemed a fitting reflection on the exile of Jews from Jerusalem to Babylonia. I later reflected on this symbolically for life. We are exiled, temporarily, from our true home, in Heaven. Life is full of those discordant moments, unsettling and disagreeable, in the middle of beautiful, soothing and joyful times. The next night I had a dream, full of symbolism about my life’s journey. I paused in the morning, journaled about it, not wanting to forget the details that I can reflect on and how they might be inspiration for areas of my life that need transformation. I viewed it as a thin, whispering insight between my conscious and subconscious being.

One of my favorite books, it is likely that I have written about it in the past, is Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. Early in the book she asks us to pause and take a deep breath, reminding us that “Our spirit did not generate itself; neither did we create it. It comes from a Divine Being who has breathed life into you and me, into all of us.” Stanz writes about her Irish heritage, Celtic wisdom and the beauty and symbolism of the “thin spaces and places” in Ireland. “Out of sight…does not mean out of soul.” The souls of those we love walk with us each day and remain close to us.

The Church asks us to pray for all those who have died, especially those who have no one to pray for them, this month of November. A lovely practice is to visit a cemetery and just pray the “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord…” Often as I am driving between the tombstones of my grandparents and my parents I recite that prayer over all the tombstones at the cemetery. In the older section there may no longer be family members to pray for them. Whether you are close to the burial places of your loved ones or not, or others you have known in life, take some time during this month of November to remember them and pray in a special way for their souls. They have gone before us with the sign of faith, and have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection (Eucharistic Prayer in the Roman Canon). We shall join them some day.

“…do not let our brothers and sisters be parted from you, but by your glorious power give them light, joy and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever…Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen” (Give Us This Day post for All Souls Day)

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, in the company of all the Saints, this month. Deena

Candles for our beloved dead at Holy Family Parish, Oglesby.

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Whisper of the soul

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, nurturing growth, ora et labora, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

A few weeks ago an opportunity to apply for a position that 10, maybe even 5, years ago would have been a dream come true, presented itself to me. At that point in my life I would have considered moving to be sure that I would be as available as the position would require. I applied but as I reflected upon it, and listened to the voice within, I just knew it wasn’t the right time or role for me as I wind down my 60’s this year. I emailed and withdrew my name. Once I made that decision, in God’s timing and providence, I was asked to be a social media coordinator for a second client. It’s with a business that is very appealing to me and my personal interests. They carry products that inspire me and my creativity. Both of my part time clients are in the business of things that I enjoy. I feel that I am contributing, but am also challenged to learn and grow.

Saturday was the Memorial of St. Pope John XXIII, the Pope who convened the Second Vatican Council, to bring a breath of fresh air to the church, which resulted in changes to the liturgy (such as praying in English instead of Latin for those of us in the US, and the altar facing forward) and church structure. He was a humble servant, a humanitarian, and was an advocate for human rights and for peace.

I read a quote on a social media page reflecting on his papacy, which I fell in love with, so I wanted to learn more about it. The quote: “Consult not your fears, but your hopes and dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you have tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.” Pope St. John XXIII

I found the quote in a Papal Artifacts site that documented St. John XXIII and his accomplishments. But Google indicated that the quote is not cited in any specific papal document but seems very much in style of his Daily 10 Point Plan. The Pope’s “Daily Decalogue” was shared in a memorial Mass in 2006 by Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone. It includes daily resolutions such as living with a positive attitude, reading and creating a daily plan, and believing that he was created to be happy, believing in the Providence of God in his life and to do good in life each and every day. So I think the quote is still a good one to share and that that it represents the spirit of how St. John XXIII approached life.

This week grab a notebook or piece of paper and write down your hopes and dreams. Create your own personal “daily decalogue”, ways you would like to approach each day. I have a series of things I do each day, but not always in the morning. I have been reflecting that I would prefer to challenge myself to get up earlier each morning (or if I wake up at 4:30, which happens a lot these days, stay up) and begin my prayer and journaling. It is with focused attention and reflection that we get clear about what is important to us and what we desire in life. I have always believed that the desires we hold in our heart are calling us to use the gifts that God has given us in life, as long as they bring us closer to God and serve others in a life-giving way.

This past week was also the memorial of St. John Henry Cardinal Newman. One of his prayers, which I learned during Lay Ministry training in our Diocese in the 1990’s, has remained a favorite over the years. It also speaks of our soul’s purpose. I’ve shared it before but would like to share here again. I hope as you read, and pray with this, you are reminded that there is something specific you are on this earth to do. Listen and then follow that desire.

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about. (St. John Henry Newman)

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

Image: Some plants, and an adorable sign, in my raised bed.

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Trust the journey

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Madonna della Strada, Our Lady of the Way, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I recall the words of one of my wellness teachers in Michigan as I prepared to leave corporate life in the late 1980’s and move back to Illinois to open a business. He said, paraphrasing a bit, teach what you want keep practicing or what you want to learn. Many of us that write or teach do just that. It’s often a thought we want to explore more, go deeper with, or remember about our journeys. That is very true with today’s post!

The past couple of days have been challenging ones. I was doubting and wondering what lies ahead for me. It’s part of the reason that the past couple of blogs have been about listening to an inner call and watching for guidance from Spirit. But more specifically this week, I have been contemplating a way to present a concept about personal call and vocation in life, a Christ-centered approach to looking at the different aspects of our lives and making sense of how we decide what to focus on, the activities we pursue and how they fit in our mission in life. As soon as I put thoughts together, my inner critic would chime in and say “who cares”, “why bother”, “no one needs to know this” or worse, “no one wants to know this”. I got discouraged and depressed.

So Friday, I bought some plants! Dirt therapy is revitalizing! I have hope when I plant and watch my flowers grow and blossom. As I was finishing up outside Saturday morning, I was surprised by a visit from a good friend, Cheryl, who lives out of town, but was in the area to visit the cemetery and another friend. She dropped off an adorable cat, coffee mug, knowing coffee and cats are two of my favorite things. I was touched by the gift and the surprise visit! A few minutes later, another friend, Kelly, texted that she wanted to stop by and drop off a treat. It was an amazing chocolate expresso cupcake from a local bakery, Millstone, which I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday evening! Those brief encounters reminded me that no matter what else is going on, I have loving and cherished friends and have that to be grateful for.

Saturday evening I sat down to catch up on social media and saw a post by the Jesuits of Canada and the United States on Facebook honoring the Feast of Our Lady of the Way, Madonna della Strada, on May 24. I paused and gave thanks for the reminder to trust Divine Timing.

The fresco of Our Lady of the Way is displayed at the Church of the Gesu in Rome, Italy. There is also a replica of the painting in the Madonna della Strada Chapel on the campus of Loyola University in Chicago. St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, had a deep love for our Lady. Our Lady of Arantzazu and Our Lady of Montserrat Shrines were significant in his personal journey, and the formation of what we now call the Spiritual Exercises and Ignatian Spirituality. St. Ignatius, and later his companions, the early Jesuits, formed and made solemn vows on Marian feast days.

Our Lady of the Way is special to me because she led me to my spiritual director and praying the Spiritual Exercises this past year. Last Spring, when I worked for Ignatian Ministries, I had been talking to Becky Eldredge about the Spiritual Exercises. I knew I didn’t want to walk through the Exercises with anyone that was on our referral list or directors that Becky knew. I wanted it to be with someone that didn’t know me or my work at the ministry. I browsed many Ignatian and Jesuit retreat sites and the minute I found Our Lady of the Way (see info and link below), I knew it was the right retreat center for me. I waited a couple of months, but once I felt that the calling was intensifying within, I browsed the spiritual directors and emailed one of the founders. Besides being trained to walk with people through the Spiritual Exercises, she was trained in Mind-Body, Integrative Healing and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I just knew she was the right fit! We talked and it was! It’s been a grace-filled year.

This morning, Sunday, May 25, Pope Leo XIV reminded us in his Regina Caeli address that “in all that the Lord calls us to—whether in our life journey or in our journey of faith, sometimes we feel inadequate.” He said that Jesus sends us the Spirit so that we don’t have to worry or be anxious in life in our individual calling or regarding personal responsibilities. Pope Leo, who also has a deep love of Our Lady, said that we too, like Mary, can welcome the Spirit, so that we can be “signs and instruments of his love” to those we encounter. Those words give me hope. I pray that they are an encouragement to you too. Let us watch for the signs that God is with us and that we have the Spirit to guide and encourage us as we attempt to respond to that personal call in each of our lives.

I wish you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Our Lady of the Way, stay with us when we grow weary of the journey…Lead us when we cannot see the path…Because for all we lay down, we pick up something greater, we pick up freedom. Our Lady of the Way, show us the way. (Full prayer on Jesuits.org)

My spiritual director, and her colleagues, have a lovely description of the history and dedication of Madonna della Strada, as well as their retreats and information regarding spiritual direction, on their website, Our Lady of the Way. The Blog section has an abundance of articles on prayer and Ignatian Spirituality, I encourage you to visit it!

Image for today’s blog: the icon of Madonna della Stada at the Church of the Gesu, Rome.

A family to turn to in all things

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, sacred listening, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

After a busy week of finishing baking and gifts, family gatherings and Christmas, I watched the BBC version on The Nativity on Saturday evening. This version took a lot of poetic license with the scriptures and I can’t say that I was pleased with their depiction of Joseph and his rejection of Mary but still, I was moved by all the various dynamics of family life, the travel of Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem and the journey of the Magi. I am currently praying with a 10-day Ignatian Christmastide Retreat and scenes like those depicted in the series certainly help with my imaginative prayer of the Holy Family and their experiences. It’s easy to romanticize all that unfolded for Joseph and Mary, like a storybook we’ve read a hundred times, everything easy and coordinated. This year I have found it helpful to see Jesus as a child, in need of the care of others, born to a couple who were faced with difficult decisions and less than perfect circumstances. Jesus comes in his littleness and models for us “how we are live in a relationship with him. We are invited to come to him in our poverty, weakness and littleness.” (Encountering Emmanuel, Heather Khym)

I hear a plane overhead as I write this, easily heard in the thick cloud cover of the day, and say a silent prayer for all those traveling today from family gatherings and heading back home to their own family lives and work. It was a joy to spend time with my extended family and to see the many pictures friends posted of their own Christmas celebrations. Having chosen a single contemplative life though, the holidays are different. There are certain events and experiences, invited and included or not, that aren’t the same without your own family and children. There is a distance and separation that can’t be filled, try as you might. Having lost both of my parents, it is a little like being orphaned, alone in the world. Most days I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. But holidays always bring a certain bit of melancholy for times past and sadness, missing loved ones.

On Christmas Eve, when Pope Francis opened the Holy Doors in Rome, we began a Jubilee Year of Hope. Pope Francis reminded us that hope is there for us (Spes non confundit – Bull of Indiction for the Jubilee Year of Hope). Yes, we will still worry and have times that hope feels hard to hold on to, but within each of us there lives hope. Hope that inspires each of us to look up and believe that there is more and can be more, more than this broken world and the challenges it presents. It is a hope that we carry with us, every day, despite the things that are happening in our lives and the world. It is a hope that isn’t about “happy endings” but a hope that calls us to be pilgrims of light even in the darkness, pilgrims willing to share the reason for our hope, especially to those who are feeling they have little hope to cling to. A hope that is shared with others reaches out to them as people of worthy of dignity and honor, a family sharing the Love of Christ.

Today’s Feast of the Holy Family celebrates the families that we belong to biological and spiritual. This spiritual family models for us love, respect, dignity and contemplation. My desire for this Jubilee Year is to have hope and share hope. When it is difficult I know I can look to the “supreme witness” (Spes non confundit) of hope, Mary, as Mother of God and our mother for guidance. Under her various titles, Undoer of Knots, Mother of Good Counsel, Morning Star, and so on, Mary’s mantle is large enough to encircle and protect us, to point us to the reason for her hope.

Whether your tribe is big or small, local or distant, close-knit and affectionate or detached, there is a Holy Family to which you will always be a member of. On this Feast and on the Solemnity of Mary, New Year’s Day, I invite you to reflect and spend time with this Family. You are loved here. As Sr. Miriam James says as each week with her podcast, Abiding Together, “welcome home”.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: Our Holy Family window at Holy Family Church

Advent 4th Sunday – From darkness to light

On By dpavinatoIn advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Uncategorized, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Gospel for the Fourth Sunday of Advent is the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth (Luke 1: 39-45). It may be my favorite passage in the New Testament, if not, definitely in the top 5. Once we get to Easter, then the encounter of Jesus and Mary Magdalene feels like my favorite. Here is what I know for sure, each of the New Testament scriptures that touch me most deeply are gospels of encounter.

The image I selected today was a postcard given to me by my pastor, Fr. Tony, in the early years of my adult faith formation. I was beginning to seriously consider what I was being called to do and be in life, what following Jesus means and reflecting on my Catholic faith honestly, all the aspects, worthy and true and sadly, not so admirable. I was considering different ministries and religious communities at the time and we talked about the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth and the opportunities of ministering to other women. This postcard depicts an icon titled “Mary visits Elizabeth” (1984) painted by Sr. Joan Tuberty. I love that their skin tones are darker, as women of the Middle East. I love the soulful gaze of each woman, eye to eye, peering deep, seeing a truth, deeper than the eye can see. In a community newsletter, Sr Joan, an accomplished iconographer, said “Icons are scripture visualized and companions for our spiritual journey.” This icon has been a companion on my journey the past 30 years.

As we end our Advent journey, today and tomorrow, rather than write a reflection for you, I invite you to sit with this icon, or another image that speaks to you, of the encounter of Mary and Elizabeth. Elizabeth realizes who she is encountering in Mary. We wait with peace, hope, joy and love in the only One who can transform our lives and give meaning. Yes, the gathering and celebrations are wonderful. I anticipate the excitement of my niece’s children as they open their gifts. But cliche as it is, there is only one ‘reason for the season’. How will you encounter the Christ Child on Christmas Day? Are you aware of and open to the encounter of Jesus in others and in your daily life? As Fr. Mike Schmitz, Ascension Press, has said in his YouTube videos this Advent, what if this Christmas you didn’t wake up, would you be ready to encounter God?

The Advent season has been a time of preparing – to remember the infant Jesus born to Mary and Joseph over 2000 years ago, the coming of the Christ at the end of time, and the encounter with God we each will experience when our lives have ended. As we have turned the corner on the shortest day of the year and begin to experience increasing light each day, my hope is that your days will be filled with the Light and the incomprehensible Love of Christ for each of us.

Wishing you abundant peace, joy and love, Deena

Note: For those of you who may not be Christian and read this, I apologize for not being familiar with the tradition and rituals you are keeping at this time of year. I wish you the joy of being uplifted by your celebrations as well.

Photo Credit: A Postcard of the icon by Sr. Joan Tuberty, Franciscan Sisters of Little Falls, MN., mentioned in this blog.

All glory, praise and honor

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey, spirituality1 Comment

Today is the Solemnity of Jesus Christ, the King of the Universe. We end the liturgical year on this Sunday and will begin the Liturgical Year 2025 next week, with the First Sunday of Advent.

We don’t have any experience in the United States but we have watched more well-known monarchs, such as Queen Elizabeth II and King Charles III of the United Kingdom. Along with royal duties and governing of the countries for which they are responsible, we learn about the causes important to them, such as King Charles’ concern for the environment and sustainability. As we look at current and past history, we see the differences in leaders who care for their country and the people they serve, as opposed to those who seek power and control, regardless of the cost of human lives or property.

How then, do we approach this important day, and final Sunday, in the church calendar? What impact does it, or should it have, on our lives?

“This message of mine is for you, then, if you are ready to give up your own will, once and for all, and armed with the strong and noble weapons of obedience to do battle for Jesus, the Christ.” The Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

I don’t know that I completely understood the meaning of these words from the Rule when I became an Oblate twenty years ago. I had a better understanding of what I was being asked to take on versus what I was being asked to surrender in life. As is true in life, our spiritual insight grows with time too. I desired a life of prayer for the monastery and for the world. I desired community with the Sisters of St. Benedict, St. Mary Monastery and with other oblates in our community or the world-wide Oblate community. I desired to grow in my spiritual life and saw living the life of an Oblate as a way to help me on that path.

While the charism of the Franciscans, Carmelites, Dominicans and Jesuits were (and are) close to my heart, and way of viewing the world spiritually, the Benedictine monastic influence spoke most strongly to my heart and way of living in the world. To use another phrase from an online community that is important to me, I wanted to be a “monk in the world“. I considered entering the Benedictine community as a religious, but the idea of being obedient to a prioress and a specific community wasn’t something I was willing to commit to.

Over time, most especially this past year, I have grown in my understanding of what service to the King really means. I have, and am, evaluating the things that I give my mind and attention, my time, and my resources to. I didn’t want to promise obedience to a prioress in a religious community but was I also avoiding my commitment and fidelity to Christ the King?

If I look at choices over the past 25 years, most weren’t bad choices (sadly there were times!) but they were based on wants vs. desires or needs. I try to live in a way that is representative of calling myself a Catholic Christian, or being a member of my parish community and an Oblate of a Benedictine community. But I was searching. I was looking for ways that those activities, or ways of being in the world, would help me spiritually and would fill me up. My desire lately has shifted to how my participation in life brings me closer in my relationship with God and helps me understand the gifts and talents I have so that they may be used in service of God and others. It’s a subtle difference but a dramatic one.

I was looking to grow spiritually because of how it made me feel versus how it prepares me to live a life with God forever. That doesn’t mean that we have to ignore desires and dreams for this life. I have learned that God desires those for us too. But as we look at all the gifts we have in life, which were given to us freely and as a way to know God better, we consider them and respond to God out of love and thanksgiving for them.

The Thanksgiving holiday this week gives us the perfect opportunity to look at our lives, the many ways we have been blessed, and offer thanks to God. As you reflect on all you have to be grateful for this year, I invite you to consider how you can use those gifts in service of God. How might you bring more light to a dark world? How can you bring hope in a time of despair? How might you offer resources or service to those in need? Are there small changes you can make that reflect a concern for our planet, to be a good steward of the Earth? Take this week, as an extended New Year’s Eve of the liturgical year, and contemplate whether your choices each day reflect your priorities in life. What King do you serve?

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Artwork I purchased from the National Eucharistic Congress. “Christ the King, the Sacred Heart”, created by Ruth A Stricklin of New Jerusalem Studios.

When the waters are muddy

On By dpavinatoIn Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

This week I am going to continue the topic I introduced last week; Who am I in God? What is God calling me to see, to be, to love in my life? Once we start asking the questions and searching for the answers we are bound to encounter the shadow side of who we are.

I am very impatient. That impatience causes frustration, fear and even anger. I want the answers now versus being content with the process of the answers unfolding. I am very sensitive and expect too much of others. Pride sneaks up on me before I can catch it and I am easily let down and disappointed when an idea is taken, I am not acknowledged for what I do, am ignored, or hurtful comments are made. As I do a daily Examen, these same vices keep coming up over and over again. Hopefully none of these are familiar to you!

But God understands says Sr. Joan Chittister. In her book, Illuminated Life, Joan says, “Contemplation is the mirror through which we come to touch the greatness of God, yes, but contemplation is also the filter through which we discern the scope of our smallness and the potential of our greatness at the same time. The contemplative looks for perfection nowhere but in God. The contemplative understands brokenness. And, most of all, the contemplative realizes that it is precisely at the point of personal need that God comes to fill up the emptiness that is us.” As we contemplate our lives and our lives in and with God, we see what and where we are lacking. She continues, “Not to know what we lack is to become our own gods”.

I often share saint quotes or images on my social media pages, or in this blog, because I draw inspiration from them. Certainly because of a desire to be more like the people they were. But also to learn where they came from and the challenges they had to overcome. It is often in acknowledging their shadow and dark sides that they made the choice to change, to learn more about who God was calling them to be.

I participated in another amazing retreat, Stretching of the Heart: A Celtic Mini-Retreat on St. Columba, this weekend with Abbey of the Arts, led by our online abbess and poet/author Christine Valter Painter, musician/songwriter and interspiritual minister Simon de Voil, and poet Kenneth Steven. The prayers, meditations, and poetry were wonderful as always and as expected. What I learned, that I had not been aware of, was that St. Columba, Columcille (his Irish name, Columba is the Latin), was the cause of a war and the death of many in Ireland. Columba kept one of the manuscripts he was illuminating for the Church, refusing to return it. Doing some additional research I have learned that there are various versions of who died, how many died and whether Columba left Ireland for the island of Iona or was banished there. Regardless, a desire to possess the manuscript and unwillingness to obey was a dark side of Columba’s story. But he went on, desiring to be a pilgrim for Christ, to found more monasteries, write over 300 books and is said to have had a main role in the conversion of Scotland to Christianity.

In social media posts in May, Bishop Robert Barron painted a description of this discovery of who we are in God that I have reflected on often since reading it. He compared the “ego-drama” to the “theo-drama”. The ego-drama is “the play that I’m writing, I’m producing, I’m directing, and I’m starring in. We see this absolutely everywhere in our culture. Freedom of choice reigns supreme: I become the person that I choose to be.” The theo-drama is the play God is writing, as we discover who we are in God and what God is calling me to be, we learn our part in the great story. Yes, we still have freedom, freedom to choose who we want to be and who we are in God.

As I continue this exploration of Who am I in God and What is God calling me to see, be and do in my life, don’t be afraid of the resistance to change you might feel, the human imperfections you find and the endless challenge to overcome them. Let’s just continue to shed light on them and keep contemplating the questions.

Out of the mud, a lotus flower emerges without dirt or blemish on the lovely petals it produces. Lotus flowers return to the murky water every evening but open their blossoms each morning with the light of the new day. Just like the lotus flower I am using for my image this week, out of a muddy waters of our lives, the murky waters of those habits and characteristics we are still working to free ourselves of, we can emerge in the light of who we are in God.

Image: A lotus flower print I purchased at a conference almost 30 years ago. It is framed and is one of the first images I see each morning.

Guide our feet into the way of peace

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, praying for peace, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace. (Benedictus, Canticle of Zechariah – Morning Prayer)

As I continue to recover after my trip, today is shaping up as another day to stay in and rest. I guess if the results were different I might be tempted to get ambitious and do more than my body is ready for. As my friend, and healing arts practitioner, Kate Brown cautioned me yesterday “You need rest. Active rest. Sleep… be patient and allow yourself to heal.” Patience…I am not very good at it!

This time of waiting, and resting, has allowed me the opportunity to tune in to the services and bulletins from the Vatican by Pope Francis praying for a ceasefire and an end to the violence in the Holy Land, especially in Gaza. At Ignatian Ministries, we joined the world in prayer, on October 27, with a rosary at 11. LaSalle Catholic Parishes held a beautiful rosary, in English and Spanish, for peace on Friday evening (you can still find it on their Facebook page. I think our need for prayer continues so you might enjoy praying with it.). Then Friday night, I watched the Rosary and Prayer Service, with Adoration and Benediction, held earlier in the day in St. Peter’s Basilica on Vatican News. Fr. Carlson coached us, during our pilgrimage, to learn the Hail Mary in Italian, so I tried my best to pray in Italian but soon found responding in English easier. Again, patience….

Having just been to the Basilica the previous week, I felt I was attending along with the other clergy and pilgrims who were participating on Friday. I looked at the sanctuary and the statues that I gazed upon not so long ago. I looked at the marble floor that demarkates the size of other Basilicas in the world and where they would fit inside St. Peter’s. St. Peter’s is the largest Catholic Church in the world. In the floor of the central nave, as you move forward toward the sculpted bronze pillars and canopy that cover the baldachin, or high altar, there are circular markings and the names of the basilicas. I have attached a picture at the bottom of this post of the marking for our National Basilica of Immaculate Conception in Washington D.C. I recall thinking that we have our individual buildings and structures, the circles were symbolic for me, we are one holy and apostolic church.

I also pondered the weight of the concerns that Pope Francis must carry; prayers for peace in the world, prayers for those impacted by the mass shooting in Lewiston, Maine, prayers for all those impacted by the hurricane in Acapulco, Mexico, prayers for answers for climate change and prayers for the Church and the closing of the Synod. Yet, despite all the worries and criticisms he faces, when we saw him in the Papal Audience, you feel the joy in his spirit, the love of God being shared with each of us.

Is it prayer and faith that brings that level of peace and patience? This feels like something for me to reflect on in my life. I reflect on St. Catherine of Siena’s devotion to the Eucharist and think more time in prayer and adoration might be a worthy goal for more peace and faith in my life.

While not related, I can’t close this blog this week without talking about three very special days this week. As we bring October come to a close, I have to mention three of my favorite days; Halloween (All Hallow’s Eve), All Saints and All Souls Days. It’s true I love to share all the pumpkins, black cats and spooky images of Halloween but really for me it is a threshold space, a holy time to think about and ask for the help and guidance of the Saints and the ancestors as we prepare to bring the year to an end (liturgically and then soon after the calendar year). In past years I have participated in retreats or days of reflection, calling upon the wisdom of those gone before. This year I plan on time alone, quiet reflection with a candle and sacred images, reading and prayer. Another Old Country tradition is to place a candle on the tombstone of loved ones on the evening of All Saints Day. I have found myself using electronic candles so the flames don’t go out but my intention is there. The light helps wandering souls or is viewed as an offering to help guide a soul on its way to Heaven. The Day of the Dead, Dia De Los Muertos, celebrated on November 1 and 2, is another beautiful tradition of visiting gravestones with candles, flowers and celebration to honor those who have passed on.

Perhaps you might create a ritual for yourself as we cross from October to November. What saints (big or small S) do you turn to for guidance? Who might have a message that you need right now?

All you holy men and women of God, pray for us!

Deena

The post image is from Assisi with the word Pax (peace) sculpted in shrubs.

Life as a pilgrimage

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

I must admit that I am still a bit tired from my two week pilgrimage to Italy so I have been doing a lot of resting. Butters, one of my cats, seems to enjoy the companionship for little cat naps. He snuggles in close so he can be right next to me, or on an arm or a hand! Perhaps to be sure I don’t leave him again. With that said, I have had a lot of time to think back on our journey and all the sites and cities we visited. It occurred to me at 4 a.m. this morning that our pilgrimage was a perfect analogy for life.

At a time that I was Chair for the Bishop’s Commission on Women for our Diocese we had a similar thought discerning our purpose for the Commission. We wanted to create a resource that would support Catholic women and provide opportunities to journey to places that would inspire and nurture our Catholic faith. We visited shrines in Chicago, Wisconsin, and took an amazing pilgrimage to Spain and Portugal. That theme, of journeying, has never left me, as you have noticed in my selection of the title of this blog series on my website.

Highlights of the Italy trip were always the morning gatherings for coffee before leaving the hotel for the day, our daily Masses in the most beautiful chapels of churches and Basilicas, and our evening dinners together as a group. Stories were shared from adventures that might have been taken apart from the group.

Our trip didn’t lack mishap either; a broken wrist due to a fall in Assisi for one of our pilgrims and another finding a priest, from another tour group from Ireland, that had fallen or died suddenly in a stairwell in Rome.

There were times that we rushed through sites moving on to the next one. Crowds of people, especially in Rome, seemed to arriving, snapping pictures then quickly moving on to the next place. I regret that, at certain sites, we didn’t linger a bit longer to reflect and savor the experience.

My favorite memories were always the quiet pauses for cappuccino, or wine, to savor the aromas and sounds. Last Sunday I sat in a piazza in Assisi listening and watching families gathering after Mass at the Basilica of Santa Chiara (St. Clare). My heart was full observing all that was happening around me.

At the weekly audience we attended on Wednesday, at the Vatican, Pope Francis continued his catechesis on apostolic zeal. Pope Francis spoke of St. Charles de Foucauld as someone that attempted to imitate Christ with his life. He spoke about the importance of lay people in the Church, to be open to the Spirit and to live with compassion, meekness and tenderness. He reminded us that we can evangelize in simple ways, with kindness and a smile for those around us. He speaks with such sincerity and love for the gospel and how we can grow closer to God. I follow Vatican News but read a bit more carefully these two weeks because of the Synod of Bishops, which has been going on in October, and being in Rome. I was captivated seeing so many priests, bishops, and cardinals walking around Vatican City. I pondered the immense weight that the Pope must feel guiding the Church during these turbulent times. I hope you saw the amazing photo I took that day as Pope Francis drove right by us on his way to his chair to speak to us. It was an incredible experience to see him that close and in person. He radiates joy and had an amazing energy and attention for those he drove by.

So it is with life, we rush through too many moments in order to get on to the next one. We have ups and downs, losses and sadness along the way. There are also interludes of pause and rest to savor the moment at hand, family or friends. But I am reminded to build more of them into my day. We have teachers and leaders we can turn to for guidance and inspiration when needed. The saints and mystics are there to show us, by the example of their lives, to keep going despite the hardships and challenges. Even short lives like Blessed Carlos Acutis who died in 2006 at the age of 15, who helped those in need around him around his home and on the way to school and built a website to document Eucharistic miracles, inspire me to use social media to share positive messages.

Lastly a pilgrimage, or life, is only a spiritual experience if I make it so. It can be a collage of moments that I rush through and visit or it can be moments I tune in and listen to the voice of God and what I might need to hear. My prayer is to be transformed by this experience I was so fortunate to have taken, to listen more carefully and move a bit more intentionally, always moving in the direction of greater peace and joy in God.

Photo is a walkway in Assisi. I shared many photos and descriptions of the places we visited but I have hundreds more! I look forward to going through them and sharing them over time. Thank you for commenting that you enjoyed seeing the pictures and reading about them.

Just a few, but significant lines

On By dpavinatoIn Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Saints as Models & Guides, Spiritual Journey1 Comment

First of all, Happy Mother’s Day today to those of you who are mothers, grandmothers and godmothers!

Yesterday after Mass, Barb, a family friend walked up to me to say hello and wanted to acknowledge that she knew Mother’s Day might be hard without my Mom. Their family lost their mom, Anne, not too long after my Mom died. It will be ten years this September, so nine Mother’s Days without her. It is kind of a melancholy day but I will buy a fern for her this week to hang by the porch as I have every year since we moved in the duplex. She had them growing up outside her family home and it was something she enjoyed here. Barb’s comment was thoughtful and I realized later how much I was moved by her kindness.

I spent a few moments looking at the scripture readings for this week and immediately found two passages to reflect on. The first one is one of my favorites in the entire Acts of the Apostles. I actually enjoy Acts, some find it tedious or boring, but it’s the life of the early Church so I find it helpful to reflect on all the apostles and early disciples were doing after Jesus ascended and left them with the Spirit to guide and inspire them. The first one is the first reading for the Mass tomorrow, for Monday of the Sixth Week of Easter. It is Acts 16: 11-15 and is a brief, 4-verse, story of Lydia, a dealer of purple cloth. She is a model and a guide to me as a woman in the church.

I can’t recall when that story first impacted me so deeply but it has been several years. We don’t know much about Lydia, except that she was called the dealer or business woman in the cloth trades, an expensive purple-dyed cloth. Was she a widow? Her husband isn’t mentioned by St. Luke, so she is the head of the household. She was the influential woman in her community and her state in life. After listening to Paul and being baptized, Lydia invited Paul and his missionary group to stay at her home. That’s it, that’s all we know. I can’t recall if the story first touched me, in a new way, when I was in the Lay Ministry Program in our Diocese, or later serving on a Bishop’s Commission for Women, But as a single woman, an Oblate and at the time, a well-paid professional I looked to Lydia as a exemplar of my role in the church, to be bold in my faith and to use my means to support the work of the Church. I also try to be a helpful and encouraging voice to the priests that I have become friends with. They have a daunting task, as do all who are serving the Church as religious. I have shared Lydia’s story with others since she became one of my patron Saints and they have acknowledged that those four verses have not stood out to them as they have heard Acts proclaimed over the years.

My other scripture example is regarding Saint Matthias, whose Feast Day is today, but since it is a Sunday, isn’t acknowledged in Mass prayer. St. Matthias is, like Lydia, only mentioned in a few brief lines in the Acts of the Apostles (Acts 1:15-26). St. Matthias was the choice of the apostles to replace Judas Iscariot, who betrayed Jesus. He is actually only mentioned in verses 23 and 26, the rest of the scripture is about the process and the prayer of the apostles as they choose a replacement. Matthias became one of the Twelve, one of the early bishops of a fledgling Church – two verses and is not mentioned again.

The influence of another on our lives can be long-lasting, regardless of the length of time they are present in our life, in person, story or example. Some of us have our mothers for a shorter amount of time than we would prefer, others are graced with the gift of many years. Either way to the outside world it may just seem like a few short lines in the large book of our life, but to us, the impact is immeasurable. Let us spend a few minutes today being thankful for the gift of our mother, grandmother, or women who acted like a mother to us. I will remember several in prayer today. If you are lucky enough to be able to be with them in person, then enjoy every moment of it!

Peace, Deena

The image for today is a picture of a statue of St. Luke that I have in my garden, along with a rogue Columbine flower that ventured away from the main plant. Besides being one of the synoptic Gospel writers, it is believed that St. Luke wrote Acts of the Apostles. St. Luke also tells more stories about women than the other Gospel writers and depicts women as women of faith, women who have been healed and forgiven, and women who are part of the community of faith, the new Church.

To learn a bit more about St. Lydia, click here.