Author: dpavinato

Featured

Visionary faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I met with a Catholic counselor/coach this past month to explore a prayer technique I was interested in learning more about and discuss experiences I had during a recent retreat. One of the most helpful aspects of the meetings was a recommendation to explore a couple of personal assessments and then meet again if interested to discuss them. One of the assessments explored life experiences, or achievements, and what they reveal about the truest expression of ourselves. The summary stated that we change over time but “What remains constant are the God-given motivations that fuel your decisions and behavior.” This reminded me of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, that I have written about in previous blogs. The Spiritual Exercises help us name desires and motivations and in doing so, discover ways that we can serve God, in our own unique and personal way, and lead us toward God’s deepening life within us.

The assessment summary provides a person’s top 5 motivations and top motivational dimension. My top motivational dimension was Visionary. Each of the motivations and this top motivational dimension make perfect sense and I can see why I am drawn to certain activities and relationships in life and why they fill me up or make me feel purposeful and alive. I think it will be helpful as I continue to discern what’s ahead for me in life.

As I thought about the dimension of Visionary, someone who loves to envision possibilities and ideas and find practical ways to bring them to life or to inspire others to bring things to being in their lives, I thought about life with God and visionary faith. To be a Catholic Christian in today’s world requires visionary faith. While this was not what the assessment was talking about, I reflected that to live and share our faith with others requires a visionary approach. We live with a faith that hopes in the promises of God, that looks beyond what we see in our current reality, and looks to the spiritual realities to direct and guide our choices. When we look to those in scripture that heard and acted on God’s voice and guidance, they hoped in a life beyond current circumstances, they lived and acted, on God’s promises. With visionary faith we are able to move forward in life based on hope not fear.

But we are called to live differently as a result of our faith. Pope Leo XIV challenged us in today’s Angelus message saying that God doesn’t want a church full of those who only offer prayers and sacrifices. He says that our faith should lead us to practicing justice and loving our brothers and sisters in this world. Pope Leo went on to say that it isn’t an easy path, that our choices in life may be unpopular, that we must fight “against our selfishness, giving ourselves for the sake of others, and persevering in doing good even when the logic of evil seems to prevail.” That is visionary faith!

So, let us choose this “narrow path” (today’s Gospel, Luke 13:22-30), believing in the life that Jesus invited us to, discerning God’s will in our lives, and acting with courage and hope in pursuit of a joy that comes from living more deeply in God’s love.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: I selected this image of St. Bartholomew and St. Lawrence from the Museo de San Marco in Florence, Italy, because today, August 24, is the Feast Day of St. Bartholomew. St. Bartholomew was one of the 12 Apostles and was recognized by Jesus for his pure heart and acknowledgement of Jesus as the promised one of God.

Featured

Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.

Featured

Before the bloom

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, nurturing growth, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting3 Comments

This week I happened upon an article about pruning lantana plants. I have a few plants in pots and didn’t realize to get the most proficient blooms that it is best to prune them when the weather is hot and sunny, then as things begin to cool down you stop pruning. So, I will have to see, with warm days still in the forecast, if I can revive them a bit.

As a result I began reflecting on my Savannah Grass blooms. It’s a lovely grass that my friend Kathy introduced me to three or four years ago. I learned after the first year, one plant in front of the house and one on the patio in back, that they prefer a longer day of sunlight. So the past couple of years, and this, I have had two plants on the patio that has a full day of sun exposure. They produce a lovely, delicate, pink plume that gently sways in the breeze like the one we have this Sunday morning. The cats actually love a piece of the grass each morning, they sit and wait for me, not so patiently, to find the perfect blade for them. As you see in the blog photo for today, one of my plants has produced the anticipated blooms but one has not.

I began reflecting on why one plant produced plumes and the other didn’t. I water them at the same time and the same amount. I feed them on the same days. They are only seven feet apart and get the same amount of sunlight. Then I remembered that after buying the plants, both started from seed at the same nursery, that I repotted one in a larger ceramic pot with new potting soil, and the other I left in the large container from the nursery and just dropped it inside a very tall ceramic pot. The first year I bought that particular pot I filled it with soil (a lot of soil!) which made it difficult to move. The next year I emptied it, filled with bricks so that my Savannah grass can sit nicely on top the bricks inside the pot and cascade over the sides. The difference it seems is the soil that I planted, or did not plant, each of the grasses in.

As I reflected on my plant situation I recalled a recent Gospel reading, Matthew 13: 24-30, regarding the Kingdom of heaven being likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While I don’t have any weeds, like the parable, my plant didn’t produce the desired blooms.

If you aren’t seeing the desired “blooms” in your life, or desired fruit, using another Gospel and garden analogy, I invite you to reflect with me on the following questions. I would like to continue with my garden metaphor and ponder whether I have been seeing the fruits of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, gentleness, patience, etc.

Has your “soil” been properly prepared so that you are seeing these fruits? If not, or if in some way someone or something was detrimental to that growth, what can you do to amend the soil? Are you watering your plants each day with prayerful reflection? Are you nourishing the soil with the support of a faith community? Are you watching for “weeds” or other harmful influences, that might choke growth and inspired living? Are you monitoring your growth or just hoping for the best?

As we enjoy these final weeks of summer, I hope you will use the opportunity to look at your flowers or gardens as an inspiration for your life, supporting and sustaining each day just as we would our precious plants.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Featured

Behold a great light

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Earlier this week our skies were filled with haze from the Canadian wildfires. On Thursday the air quality index in Chicago (an hour and a half from my home) was 174, the worst of any major city in the world. Even in our area, Alexa reminded me of the poor air quality, and at times, I could smell the smoke. As I was driving later that afternoon I captured the image for today’s blog (I parked of course!). It reminded me of a time, living in Royal Oak Michigan, that I was contemplating the light within each of us, an ever-present flame that burns and is alive, no matter what is going on in life. I will never forget it, one of those special epiphany moments walking, seeing the clouds part within, and sensing a presence of light and joy.

It’s hard, at times, to see that light if one is even a little aware of the news and the great tragedies in the world of war, hunger and suffering, greed and a focus on power above justice and truth. But I have been uplifted by the scenes from Rome and the Jubilee of Youth. An estimated million youth have been attending the Jubilee at Tor Vergata. Even Pope Leo XIV seems invigorated by the crowds of young people. Circus Maximus, an ancient Roman arena was transformed for the youth to make their confessions at 200 confession stations with priests speaking English, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Polish, German, Hungarian, Slovak, Korean, and Chinese. Thousands of pilgrims were able to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation in this place known for chariot races, gladiator fights and wild animal cruelty.

Pope Leo XIV reminded the youth of a truth we all seek, a burning question in each of our hearts, for truth and justice. He asked the pilgrims, and each of us, to reflect on our way of living in order to build a more humane world. In today’s homily, reflecting on the scriptures from Ecclesiastes and Luke’s Gospel, Pope Leo encouraged the youth to listen to Jesus knocking at the window of our souls and look beyond the world and nature that is fleeting and passes away. “‘This is why,” he said, “we continually aspire to something ‘more’ that no created reality can give us; we feel a deep and burning thirst that no drink in this world can satisfy.'” He challenged us to not let our hearts be deceived by the things of this world but rather “fullness has to do with what we joyfully welcome and share.  “Buying, hoarding and consuming are not enough.  We need to lift our eyes, to look upwards, to the ‘things that are above…'”

I remain hopeful, even this week with disappointing encounters or heavy news to try to grapple with. I begin a new week with a desire to focus on the things that really matter and things that I can control. Just this Sunday morning, artist Kreg Yingst of PsalmPrayers (his amazing work in on Facebook, Instagram and Etsy) responded to a comment I made on a new series he will be sharing with us by saying “it’s a drop in the ocean, but it’s my drop. I come to Christ in ‘my anger and powerlessness.'” Each of our individual drops make a difference, we each have the ability to have a positive impact and cast a ripple that might spread love and hope to those around us. Let that be our goal this week!

Isaiah 9: The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who lived in a land of gloom a light has shone.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: my photo of the hazy skies this week in Illinois.

Featured

Pulling out all the stops

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Last week I mentioned that I enjoy watching YouTube videos for entertainment, instruction and reflection. I shared that I enjoy watching Paul Fey and his playing the great organs around the world. If you use technology you know that the algorithms see what you watch and then show more of that type of content to your feed in the way of posts or ads. Sometimes it’s helpful and sometimes it is just plain annoying.

The other night I opened YouTube to watch a video and saw an organ short titled “Pulling out all the stops”. I laughed out loud, not realizing the source of that idiom. I watched as the organist pulled out all the knobs on the side of the organ and how the sound of the organ changed and amplified.

My post photo today is our organ at Holy Family Church. You will see the stops on the side, we have about 30 or so stop knobs on our beautiful organ. On the large organ at Holy Name Cathedral in Chicago, built by Flentrop Orgelbouw, (image from my recent visit to Holy Name pasted at the bottom of this blog) there are 71 stops and 5,558 pipes. The stops are the primary way that an organist controls and shapes the sound that is produced by the organ. They produce the pitch and tone of the sound and allows the air to flow through the pipes on the organ.

The use of the phrase, “pulling out all the stops”, suggests that we are going to do everything in our power to make something happen or to succeed. I paused to think about this with regard to our faith life. What if we pulled out all the stops in our daily prayer and living of the Gospel message? What if I lived “full out” in my belief that I am a beloved daughter of the Father and a disciple and friend of Christ? Am I living my life in a world of “just okay” when God has something greater in store for me and my life? To use the organ analogy, by pulling out all the stops, can I get the loudest, fullest, deepest expression of what I am meant to be in life?

The Gospel message this weekend for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary time encourages us in persistent prayer. Jesus, in Luke’s version, assures us to be confident in our prayer, to be bold and persistent. In our Old Testament reading, Abraham is bold in convincing God to spare Sodom if there are at least 10 faithful individuals who remain in the city destined for destruction. Jesus guides us to approach God, as our loving Father, confident and trusting.

That’s what I want in my faith life! Deep, rich, vibrant spirituality lived with passion and confident trust that God knows all I need and desire to live my best life giving glory to him! Are you living in a world of “just okay” or are you willing to place your trust in God and pull out all the stops in living that faith?

Wishing you abundant peace, trust, and hope this week, Deena

The organ at Holy Name Cathedral from the nave, or main seating area, of the Cathedral.

Featured

Playing your hand

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, curious and receptive, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I love YouTube videos! I can find something to satisfy every mood – videos to learn a crafting technique, Paul Fey visiting and playing organs in various churches and countries around the world, news reports (especially when I stopped streaming TV and wanted to catch up on events) and listening to and reflecting on various spiritual talks and discussions.

Last night, Saturday evening, was one of those nights when I wanted to listen to something inspirational. I had a strong desire to further reflect on my week and some of the things that came up in prayer and journaling, trying to make sense of what action might be next for me. A video by Fr. Gregory Pine, a very popular Dominican priest and conference speaker, popped up in my YouTube feed so I followed the serendipity of the moment and watched his talk at SEEK25. I’ve watched many of his talks in the past so I knew it would be worth the time to listen.

During the conference talk, Fr. Gregory, said that in life we need to play the hand we have been dealt. He said that the journey is to honestly reflect on the cards we have. We can look at others and say yes, there are others who are more talented or more gifted, but how are we going to play our hand? The goal is to “play the game beautifully even if you don’t have the best cards.” As we look at our lives we might not love what we find or where we are, but that’s ok because it is a starting point, the “Lord made you good, and he loves you, and he loves your destiny more than you do, and he is excited about the prospect of conducting you hence, strongly and sweetly.”

If you have been reading this blog over the past (almost) three years, you know well that I am always looking for ways to grow spiritually and improve my life. It has become more clear in the past year that I also want to discern the ways that I can help others do that. The past week or so has been a time of intense questioning of that desire and how that might come to life. I have to be honest and admit that in assessing thoughts about the “how” I have gotten dragged down and was melancholy about when it was going to become clear to me.

A couple of things happened this week that reminded me, as Fr. Gregory did, to slow down and trust the process and divine timing. Wednesday during my weekly two hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, during our parish Adoration time, I read a reflection by Christina Leano (on the staff of the Laudato Si Movement) in my Give Us This Day prayer guide that invited me to lean into curiosity and just show up in prayer, to simply ask “God, how do you want me to be with you right now?” and “rest knowing that the answer is secondary”. It was powerful and while letting go of the answer I might have been looking for, I was gifted with an insightful time of conversation with Christ. I was loved and beheld as simply who I am.

The next day I happened upon a seminar that might be helpful to me as I seek to use my gifts to help others. Then later in the week I listened to podcast that introduced me to some new concepts that are used in spiritual counseling. I was so excited about learning new ways that are being used to combine faith and spirituality in the realm of counseling, psychology, and brain science. I look forward to reading more about it, and my guess is, that in some way, it’s also a preparation and foundation for the healing work that will be experienced during my week long retreat the first week of August.

So Saturday evening, after listening to Fr. Gregory, I smiled in awe and gratitude in the ways that God might be aligning things in my path to pay attention to. I am also reminded today, in Luke’s Gospel for the Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, in the familiar story of Martha and Mary, that it is important to take the time to listen in prayer. Being busy, always doing, distracts from seeing those hints from God as they show up. It’s essential to be still and to be watchful for the guidance as it appears. But before all of that happens, it’s also important to know what it is I am seeking, to ask for the grace to be guided.

What grace do you seek this week? How might you just “show up” and sit in curiosity, watchful for the signs of God’s grace as they appear? Can you find time in your day to just sit and be held in the loving gaze and presence of God? You don’t need an agenda, or things to discuss, just show up and simply BE.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: Flowers and a bench on my patio

Featured

Still learning

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, lifelong learning, ongoing catechesis, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Did you know that a typical Jewish Torah scroll is 86 feet long? I didn’t! They are handwritten and if a mistake is made during the creation of the scroll it is discarded and process begun again.

This past week I went on a bus trip to three places of worship in Chicago – Holy Name Cathedral, the Chicago Loop Synagogue, and the Baha’i House of Worship in suburban Wilmette. It was a fascinating day and I loved learning new things about other faith traditions, as well as sharing some things about our Catholic faith and tradition at the Cathedral with those on the trip who pulled me aside to ask questions.

While we were at the synagogue I noticed a lamp burning above the Ark, where the Torah scrolls are kept, and asked about it because of the similarity to a sanctuary candle in every Catholic Church by the Tabernacle. The assistant director of the synagogue praised my question and acknowledged that the Ner Tamid, or Eternal Light, always burns above or near the Ark representing God’s eternal presence. In a Catholic Church we have the red sanctuary light burning at all times (except after Holy Thursday Mass until Easter Vigil because Jesus is no longer present in the Tabernacle) by the Tabernacle in the Church indicating the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

I admit to being enthralled with studying and learning new things. When people ask what I am reading they might expect a current bestseller or fiction book but it is almost always a book on spirituality, self-improvement, or a biography of someone I admire. As a matter of fact I could probably stop buying books and still read new books for the next 5 years! I’ll catch up one of these days.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) encourages our study and ongoing learning. In Article 6 regarding Moral Conscience, the CCC tells us that it is the voice that calls us to love, do good and avoid evil. It guides us to behavior that we view as just and right for ourselves and those we encounter. But it goes on to say that our conscience must be informed and enlightened. We can’t expect that we learned everything that we need to act with an informed conscience, or to act in accord with the teachings of the Church, or whatever faith we practice, when we were instructed as young children. Education of our conscience is a lifelong and ongoing task, according to the Catechism.

Many of us, in Catholic and Protestant services, listened to the scripture of the Good Samaritan this weekend. Jesus teaches with this parable to encourage unconditional love and fair treatment to all regardless of our differences. An insightful Benedictine reflection that I read this Sunday morning reminded us that “we aren’t there yet. We need to keep re-tuning our ear and correcting our vision with the lens of charity, humility, and truth.” That is exactly the reason we continue to listen and be transformed by the Living Word of God (and hopefully by homilies and sermons that encourage the kind of behavior that Jesus challenges us to).

This desire for ongoing learning is the reason that I love the Wednesday Papal Audience and Angelus addresses given by our Popes. They are a brief catechesis on current topics of the day, how we should treat each other and live our lives. I want to keep my mind and heart open to seeing things a new way and changing those aspects of my thoughts and behavior that are not aligned with the heart of Christ.

Whether it is your faith life, or an area you desire to grow deeper in understanding and knowledge, keep learning! I offer these reminders for us to consider this week:

“I am still learning.” – Michelangelo (aged 87)

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.” – Albert Einstein

“Therefore we intend to establish a school for God’s service. In drawing up its regulations, we hope to set down nothing harsh, nothing burdensome…But as we progress in this way of life and in faith, we shall run on the path of God’s commandments, our hearts overflowing with the inexpressible delight of love.” – The Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Torah scrolls in the Ark at the Chicago Loop Synagogue

Featured

Pause and rest

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Some days writing is like turning on the kitchen faucet and the ideas, like water, pour forth easily. Other days it is like watching water boil, but I am ready for the tea right now! None of the ideas I had to share today were developing. I decided not to fight it. I am just tired.

I am weary from the news. As if this week’s National news wasn’t enough, today my heart is breaking for the families who sent their children to Camp Mystic in Texas and now will be planning funerals. I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief they are experiencing. They will be on my heart, and in my prayers, along with all the others experiencing the devastation from the flooding river.

I didn’t realize how changes around me, some personal and some broader, were impacting me until I made an effort this week to breathe a little deeper and slow down. I felt the weight of those changes and decided to honor them instead of ignoring them.

This morning I saw a quote by Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author and modern mystic who was murdered at Auschwitz in December of 1943, which said “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

I sighed and thought “Yes, just rest today. You don’t have to write or do anything else.” I was going to simply write and suggest we all rest and pause today.

But, I was also reminded of Pope Leo XIV’s prayer intentions for July on discernment and the prayer he wrote. Part of the prayer says: “I ask you for the grace to learn how to pause, to become aware of the way I act, of the feelings that dwell within me, and of the thoughts that overwhelm me which, so often, I fail to notice.”

Like Pope Leo (as stated further in the prayer), I long for the choices that bring joy and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

So, today I pause and rest. I will make some tea, slowly, not rushing the water as it boils. I will enjoy the flowers that seem to be as relieved as I am from the intense sun and heat and are just radiant under the cloudy skies. Perhaps you will be able to take some time to rest today too.

As I researched the quote shared above by Etty Hillesum, to make sure I was sharing her words accurately, I saw another. I offer it to you today too.

“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today, Deena

Photo: Butters will be my muse for rest today. He is an expert!

Featured

An ever-present call

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I laughed out loud this morning when I read Kate Bowler’s Blessing for today on social media (“A Blessing and a Curse for your best life now”). “I am a project with a thousand open tabs. A walking checklist, forever waiting for the satisfying ding of completion. And this much is true: I am incomplete. But no one ever promised we’d get to feel whole.”

I LOVE THAT!

I often have this sense (and maybe you do too) of some magical finish line to cross. We think we will finally get all the insights, knowledge, tasks complete, big picture finally clear, etc. Then everything will be fine.

Nope! It doesn’t happen that way. It’s an ongoing, ever-evolving journey. (That’s exactly why I titled my weekly blog “Journeys”!)

We have to listen to the calls and invitations in life but then shape it to our own way of being in the world. One of my favorite craft makers and designers constantly reminds us, “You do you!” It doesn’t work to copy someone else or expect our “projects in life” to come out the same as their version. As a matter of fact, that would likely be pretty boring. Yes, I certainly look to others to inspire me but then have to do it my way, go “rogue” and make it my version of being.

Just the other day I was sharing a new project idea with a friend and thought it might be a great idea for her too. My project looked one way and the idea I had for her was something that would be unique to her and what she shares with the world. We both love to teach and help people grow in self-awareness and being their best selves, but we have two unique ways of sharing it. And that is just perfect! Neither of us could, or would want to, present our ideas the way the other one does. We support and encourage each other in our unique ways of being.

I’ve shared in previous blogs that this uniqueness of call is one of the things I love most about Ignatian Spirituality. Discernment, whether to our vocation in life, or the every day decisions we have to make, advise us to look at our desires, our unique gifts and aspirations, the needs of those around us and in the world, and most importantly, our dialogue with God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God wants to use the things we love to do, and that we have been given the ability to do, to do God’s work in the world.

I love the quote by Blaise Pascal, “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of… We know the truth not only by the reason, but by the heart.” We have to listen to the desires of our heart, in union with our intellect and the Spirit, as we respond to the “call” in front of us each day.

June 29 is the Solemnity of the Saints Peter and Paul, a great Feast Day in the church. Peter, despite his lack of education and constant faults, and even betrayal, was entrusted with the initial guidance of the Church. Paul, a persecutor and enemy of the early followers of Jesus, became the most distinguished and esteemed writer of the scriptures that serve as a roadmap for Christian living and offer instruction and guidance to the Church. Both died as martyrs for the faith.

I would venture to say that when Jesus said to Simon, “You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church”, or when St. Paul was knocked off his horse, blinded by light and led to the home of an early Christian that he would have been known for persecuting, that neither of them had a clear vision and goal, the perfect five-year plan, and knew what lied ahead for them. They only knew to respond “yes” to the call. God used who they were, and what they were in life, to call them to something more.

So, this week I propose we give ourselves a little grace to having it all figured out. Most certainly, I want to stop comparing and expecting to have all the answers that I perceive others to have. I hope to have a little bit more trust this week than last in the guidance I receive in prayer. I desire to be a better version of “just being me” this week than I was last. That seems like it would be wonderful progress to make!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Photo for this week: The San Damiano Cross, taken during my pilgrimage to Italy, in the Basilica of St. Clare in Assisi. It is said St. Francis was praying before this cross when the received the commission to the Lord to “go rebuild the Church”.

Featured

Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena