Category: a school of God’s service

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Go by another way

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, epiphany, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I sat down this morning to do social media work I have been hired to do, before starting this blog, and I heard a bird calling. It wasn’t the typical wrens or sparrows of the morning. It was clearly not cardinals or blue jays I hear in adjacent neighborhood trees. It’s too early for robins. It was distinct, different. I immediately got up to find it, in the front yard, or in my backyard tree. I couldn’t find it but I kept looking as it kept calling out. It stopped me from doing anything else, I couldn’t resist the invitation.

I wonder, as I reflect on the wise men in today’s Epiphany story, if these magi had the same urgency to respond to the unique star they were seeing, seeking the important event it was foretelling. It’s easy to ignore those inner promptings, whether as simple as the little bird I heard, or as illuminating as a distant star. We pass them off as impractical ideas or a passing flights of fancy.

Sometimes the way will find you, even if you go another way.

This Fall I listened to a talk, either by Fr. Bonafice Hicks or Sr. Miriam Heidland (my journal notes weren’t clear as I looked back), and a reference to a new book by Bishop Eric Varden on Chastity and how chastity, and Bishop Varden’s description of chastity, speak of a reconciliation of senses and a love of beauty. I had listened to Bishop Varden online in the past, and enjoy his teaching, so I ordered it immediately. Once it arrived, and I attempted reading, I quickly realized I was in over my head. I set it aside. I picked it up again at a later date and came to the same conclusion, I was not going to get the point so easily captured by the review I listened to.

During a recent homily, my pastor spoke of Bishop Varden, so Friday I dropped off the book, thinking he might enjoy reading it and would certainly be a better student of the concepts than I was. I consider myself fairly adept at spiritual literature and theological teaching. Not an intellectual, but also not completely amateur to spiritual reading. After all, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Siena, St. John of the Cross aren’t kindergarten reading and I enjoy spending time with their writings. I handed over the book as well as any hope of being able to understand it.

Friday night I was listening to a daily session of Minute Monk on the Hallow app, led by John Cannon, founder of Monk Mindset (a website but also a paid app released in 2025). The reflection was given by Fr. John on the Feast of Saints Basil and Gregory. He began talking about the Tools of Good Works in the Rule of St. Benedict and the love of chastity. He described chastity, not as an absence of sin, but as a good desire, a virtue, a mark of a human being fully alive. He then referenced Bishop Varden’s book on Chastity. I literally laughed out loud given that I handed over the book earlier in the day.

Ok, God I am listening, I exclaimed. Where are you leading me?

The summary was an excellent one, much like the one that led me to order the book in the Fall. Fr. John continued to describe chastity not as a list of do’s and don’ts but as an re-establishment of wholeness. It restores our senses to see and truly love, is a marker of integrity and allows us to see the world in truth, to have a contemplative spirit. It leads us to be more clearly attuned to our ultimate purpose of loving God and others.

For clarification for those who might be confused about chastity versus celibacy (a vow or state of being to remain unmarried and chaste), chastity is a broader virtue of having fidelity, sexually, to one’s state in life, whether being married or unmarried.

The instance wasn’t for me a reminder of living a chaste life, but instead was a reminder of living a contemplative life, focused on love and compassion for others (Compassion is my chosen “word” for 2026). It was a reminder that being free of other responsibilities, I have desired a life dedicated to prayer, contemplation and monastic virtues. But lately I have questioned how I have been living that commitment. How deep is my love of others when I react harshly, with judgment, to those I encounter? Am I seeing Christ in the other?

This morning, the USCCB social media pages, released a reflection on the Feast of the Epiphany by the Most Rev. Ronald Hicks, Archbishop-designate of New York and Bishop of Joliet. Even though he is Bishop in the nearby Diocese of Joliet, I have learned more about him recently as he has been introduced to the people of New York. He talked about how his experience of living in Central America transformed him, his experience of the people and the culture, changed him. He said that when he encounter Jesus and his word, in scripture, and the sacraments, when we care for others, we go home by another way. We are changed and we are challenged to carry that Light, that we have experienced, out to others.

Let it be so.

Wishing you a week of abundant hope and joy, Deena

Image: a photo of a sunset, a moment of beauty.

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The story of our families

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christmas Peace, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Family Stories, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Francis, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I have been reflecting this morning on the journey of my grandparents from Italy to Ellis Island, then on to Illinois. My grandmother was born, on this day, December 28, in 1898. She met my grandfather during the war. He traveled here first to get a job and then my grandmother came after. They had three children here. My grandmother lived, caring for her young children after my grandfather’s death, by first working in a factory and then in later years sewing for others. My other grandparents lived in the area as well, after migrating from Slovakia. My great-grandfather died in the Cherry Mine Disaster in 1909, when my grandfather was a young boy. The family name was changed for ease of describing who people were and where they came from while they worked, so the last name on one of the few tombstones in the Cherry Cemetery represents the area in Slovakia that he came from and then the name that became our family name here in the United States.

During the holidays I also recalled so many wonderful family occasions with aunts and uncles that are no longer with us. All families with struggles and accomplishments, just like any other family. My mother and father worked hard, in a variety of occupations, to provide for us. We moved from Illinois to upstate New York then back to Illinois again as my father followed his career and then desire to open his own business. My mom, a nurse, ceased her career to work alongside my father for over 25 years.

I am sure you have similar stories and history. Parents trying to provide for and do the best that they can for their children. Perfect? No, not by any means. But the family that we are one with and come from, the families that make us who we are, for better, or motivated to change. If you don’t know, or haven’t shared your family story, make a point to do so. There are so many details that I wish I had now, but they are gone with the memories of those who held them. But I am grateful for countless images captured in photos, like the one I share today, before we stored everything on our phones.

Today we celebrate the Feast of Holy Family, a young family also journeying in life, with Joseph doing his best to care for his little family. December 28 also recalls the death of the Holy Innocents, the young boys massacred because of a cruel and jealous king who couldn’t stand the thought of someone having more authority than him. The message that Joseph received, to flee to Egypt, saved Jesus from this horrible persecution.

Today, Pope Leo XIV reminded us that the world “has its ‘Herods,’ its myths of success at any cost, of unscrupulous power, of empty and superficial well-being, and it often pays the price in the form of loneliness, despair, divisions and conflicts.” He asked us to pray for all families suffering due to war and violent conflicts. We can pause and pray for all those families who, like our own families, are trying to find a better place in the world to live and flourish.

So today, reflect on the family that helped form you into the person you are today. Tell stories and share memories, so that they are passed on. If you are lucky enough to have them, spend time with old photos and recall family celebrations and gatherings.

Then as Pope Francis wished in his 2020 encyclical, Fratelli Tutti, “Let us dream, then, as a single human family, as fellow travelers sharing the same flesh, as children of the same earth which is our common home, each of us bringing the richness of his or her beliefs and convictions, each of us with his or her own voice, brothers and sisters all.” (No. 8).

Wishing you abundant joy and peace with the family memories that you hold, Deena

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We wait in love – Fourth Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Pause and rest, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Our theme this Fourth Sunday of Advent is Love. We listen to the story of Joseph’s dream and his response, with love, to take Mary into his home. We reflect on the coming Solemnity of Christmas and the love God demonstrates for all of us by sending his Son into the world. As we prepare to celebrate the coming of Christ into the world, by remembering his birth over 2000 years ago, we are invited to birth that love to others in our words and actions.

We’ve arrived, in just a couple of days, we end our Advent waiting and join the angels singing songs of praise for the birth of Jesus in our world. Do you feel prepared? Not just with all the activities of preparing for Christmas, but in your heart? Have to tried to make room each day to welcome the Christ?

I have certainly tried but each year I ponder whether I have prepared adequately, instead being too focused on all that needs to be done. So, today I will slow down the pace a bit. On this first day of Winter, I will accept the invitation to savor the longer night and reflect on my Advent preparation for the 8-day Christmas Solemnity, reflecting on the Incarnation of Jesus.

I offer these suggestions for you today as you prepare for Christmas this week:

Listen to this soothing musical Taize chant meditating on the coming of the Lord at Christmas, Wait for the Lord.

Contemplate the Incarnation of Jesus using the Ignatian prayer method written about by Becky Eldredge.

Continue our Advent daily prayer of the ancient and poetic O Antiphons (recited each day, from December 17 to December 23, as part of evening prayer in the Catholic Church) by listening to the Benedictine Sisters of Mary, Queen of the Apostles sing O Come O Come Emmanuel. Listen to it as prayer, rather than a familiar Christmas hymn, reflecting the longing in our hearts for a savior. Listen to each title for God as a plea for help, which one would you ask God for the grace of assistance this year? Perhaps O Wisdom – for guidance when confused or have a decision to make, or O Key of David – if you feel stuck or in need of a way where there feels there is none, or today’s verse, O Dayspring – help to clear the clouds of confusion, depression or grief that you might be holding in your heart.

We have a few days left. Let’s use them to prepare for this amazing gift of Love. Spend time pondering the source of every gift in life, consider the Spirit’s prompting us to share the love of Christ, and reflect on the real reason we celebrate Christmas Day, the coming of Christ into our world.

Wishing you abundant Love this week, Deena

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We wait in hope – First Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, advent, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Today is the First Sunday in Advent, the beginning of the Church’s liturgical new year. We begin the year with reminders of the promises of God and with cautions to put aside works of darkness and to stay awake and be ready. We begin the year waiting, not celebrating.

There are certainly different kinds of waiting, some easier to bear than others. We can be excited waiting, as we would waiting for the birth of a child being born to loved ones or excited waiting to leave on a vacation we have been planning. We might feel anxious waiting if we are waiting to hear from the doctor after having tests done or when we sense a change coming to a job due to corporate restructuring. We can wait with nervous anticipation to hear about a job that we really want, sensing that we did well during the interview. I suppose there are as many ways that we wait as there are the personalities of each of us. Waiting isn’t always easy. We all handle waiting differently and as I heard Dr. Arthur Brooks, one of my favorite leadership speakers and authors, say recently, we don’t wait well. We run from waiting, distracting ourselves with our phones, TV or other preoccupations.

Advent waiting is different. Sadly, it is a waiting that often gets muffled and diminished by the preparations for more secular aspects of Christmas such as shopping, decorating and parties. As Advent begins we are invited to look within and prepare our hearts. I haven’t gotten to most of my Advent reflections yet today but one posed a question that stopped me from moving through the morning with a careless disregard for the season that begins today. If this Advent was the last one for the world, or for me personally, would I be ready?

As Christians we do wait with hope in a world that is better than the one we live in. We hope for endless bliss, anticipating the joy in the presence of the God we profess to believe in. But if I wait in hope, I must stop and ask whether I am living a life that reflects hope in God’s eternal promise? Do I live with joy and peace even during the trials that appear in my life? Am I spending my time, money and relationships that reflect my belief that all is gift and that I possess those things as a steward, treating them as the fleeting possessions they are? Do I live with generosity for those less fortunate? Do I make choices that reflect my beliefs and share those beliefs with others?

Advent doesn’t have the same penitential aspects that Lent has but we are invited to spend time each day to look within and assess how we’ve been doing. In whatever little ways we are able, let us wait in hope as we listen to God’s promises, we reflect on the narrative of the coming of Jesus in the world over 2000 years ago, and we review our lives in relation to the beliefs we hold and profess.

If you need suggestions for this Advent, please see my blog from last week with a list of resources, online or book format, that you can use for your daily reflection.

Wishing you a abundant hope in the promises of the Christ this Advent, Deena

A special note of thanks to each of you who have been reading and following me as I begin the fourth year of this blog, whether you began in 2022 or recently. I appreciate your support and that you have read and commented, whether personally or publicly, about my musings each week. It has meant the world to me. May peace be with each of you, and our collective community, as we begin this new year.

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Embrace joy

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, visual creative journalingLeave a comment

Joy and happiness are emotional states that are often used interchangeably but actually joy is very different. Happiness might be found in response to life circumstances such as setting and completing a goal. Joy, science is telling us, may be experienced even amidst life hardships or uncertain times. I might not be happy all of the time, but I can experience joy regardless of what is going on in my life by being intentional about certain things in life. For me, my faith and prayer life, are huge contributors to my experience of joy.

An article published by the National Institute of Health in May of this year said that lots of attention is given, in popular psychology, to positive emotions and finding happiness while joy is still an area that would benefit from further study. A study cited, of adults ages 28-59 from the United Kingdom, reported “fostering positive relationships, engaging with nature, and cultivating self-awareness were identified as key strategies for sustaining joy.”

A study of 7000 individuals, reported by National Public Radio in 2023 as part of the BIG JOY Project, reported that “people who commit daily “micro-acts” of joy experience about a 25% increase in emotional well-being over the course of a week.” Emotional well-being was described as attributes such as better coping, less stress, quality relationships, and feelings of hope, optimism and even fun. Examples of the micro-acts of joy included gratitude journaling, doing a random act of kindness, visiting a sick neighbor, celebrating a friend’s joy, or engaging in self-reflection. The researchers asked whether doing these small acts of joy can make a difference and referred to “the ideas of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who both spoke about how it’s possible to feel joy even in the midst of suffering, and to use that feeling to help do good.” Our joy, it seems, help us not only enhance our own well-being but contribute to the lives of others when we use our joy as a motivation to share with and help others in the world. I am sure we can think of others in our personal circle, or the wider circle of our communities, that could use a bit more joy these days.

Randy Taran, founder of Project Happiness, wrote in her daily email update that “joy isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you choose, amidst the struggle and in life’s tender moments, that make life worth living. Embrace the people and the things that bring your heart healthy doses of joy.” Things like buying yourself flowers, watching the sunset (or I would add, stepping out to experience the Northern Lights this past week), dancing in the kitchen or taking a long route home are some of the suggestions she offered.

Exploring the world of creativity, the impact of expressing myself in creative acts, is also a way to increase joy and mindfulness, while decreasing stress and anxiety. Creativity becomes a means to tap into my own wisdom, gain clarity in difficult situations and decrease stress, either personal situations or response to societal events. Perhaps painting, knitting or crocheting, making handmade cards, or frames like the one I posted as the featured photo, are ways that you might express yourself. A friend, Joan, on Facebook shares her creativity by posting her table settings. They are always expressions of beauty, care and love by the way she has displayed her table. I love creating little vignettes with decorations, like a Thanksgiving display, photo included on blog site, or setting out favorite seasonal items. Some of those items may evoke an emotional response, to a family member or celebrations in the past. It may just be the way the colors you choose make you feel when you look at them. All of these are ways of expressing your inner artist and creative soul.

As we move into preparing for the holidays, days that can be stressful or frantic, how might you engage in a daily micro-act of joy. What can you do each day to reconnect with inner joy or creativity, so that regardless of how holiday planning is going, you find more peace and tranquility? As we find and experience more joy, it will likely spread to those around us!

Wishing you a week of abundant joy and hope, Deena

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A whispering threshold

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a thin veil, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, remembering our beloved dead, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, Uncategorized, visionary faithLeave a comment

I visited the cemetery before Vigil Mass for All Souls Day yesterday (Saturday) afternoon to put small votive candles (as seen in today’s blog photo, I gave up on trying to keep real candles lit in the wind) on our family tombstones, a tradition on the evening of All Saints Day to light the path for souls and a symbol of love and remembrance. A few years ago there used to be groups praying as they visited each gravesite and many more candles. I only see a few now.

I love the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, altars with the many marigolds, pictures, food items and symbols decorating the ofrendas, altars, set up between October 27th and taken down shortly after All Souls Day. You can find many beautiful and elaborate pictures online if it is not celebrated in your area. At my parish, we have a lovely tradition of remembering our beloved dead with candles, many of us provide pictures to be placed by the candles, which will burn all month surrounding the altar. I love to reflect on the candles as all the souls that worship at the altar each Mass with us, Saints and saints, that join in our praise. I will add a photo of the candles this year, below, to the online version of this blog post.

There have been times during the year, or after the passing of someone dear, that I have experienced the thin veil between heaven and earth, the mist of time, more easily. Perhaps that is why I relish these days of All Hallows Eve, All Saints and All Souls so much. We can pause and reflect that it is literally a breath that binds us in our bodies and a more tangible realm. We take so many breaths each day for granted. If you have been with someone as they have breathed their last breath, you know how fragile and temporary life is.

This week, during my Wednesday Adoration time, Fr. Carlson played an organ piece, from the many he has downloaded and saved, that I hadn’t heard before. It was lovely, then dissonant like someone that might have hit the wrong note but it continued. It was jarring and unpleasant at times but then also hauntingly beautiful. I asked him about it afterwards but missed the name except that it was a Babylon meditation (if I get the full title this week, I will footnote it below). We reflected that it seemed a fitting reflection on the exile of Jews from Jerusalem to Babylonia. I later reflected on this symbolically for life. We are exiled, temporarily, from our true home, in Heaven. Life is full of those discordant moments, unsettling and disagreeable, in the middle of beautiful, soothing and joyful times. The next night I had a dream, full of symbolism about my life’s journey. I paused in the morning, journaled about it, not wanting to forget the details that I can reflect on and how they might be inspiration for areas of my life that need transformation. I viewed it as a thin, whispering insight between my conscious and subconscious being.

One of my favorite books, it is likely that I have written about it in the past, is Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. Early in the book she asks us to pause and take a deep breath, reminding us that “Our spirit did not generate itself; neither did we create it. It comes from a Divine Being who has breathed life into you and me, into all of us.” Stanz writes about her Irish heritage, Celtic wisdom and the beauty and symbolism of the “thin spaces and places” in Ireland. “Out of sight…does not mean out of soul.” The souls of those we love walk with us each day and remain close to us.

The Church asks us to pray for all those who have died, especially those who have no one to pray for them, this month of November. A lovely practice is to visit a cemetery and just pray the “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord…” Often as I am driving between the tombstones of my grandparents and my parents I recite that prayer over all the tombstones at the cemetery. In the older section there may no longer be family members to pray for them. Whether you are close to the burial places of your loved ones or not, or others you have known in life, take some time during this month of November to remember them and pray in a special way for their souls. They have gone before us with the sign of faith, and have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection (Eucharistic Prayer in the Roman Canon). We shall join them some day.

“…do not let our brothers and sisters be parted from you, but by your glorious power give them light, joy and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever…Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen” (Give Us This Day post for All Souls Day)

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, in the company of all the Saints, this month. Deena

Candles for our beloved dead at Holy Family Parish, Oglesby.

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Real life, real faith

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Some days faith is hard. Life challenges us with the state of the world or the events of our own lives and families. We have constant updates from so many sources, so our minds are infiltrated with the news, close to home and beyond. The apostles following Jesus didn’t have iPhones or social media updates and still they said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17: 5-10, Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time). I pray the same request on many days!

Earlier this week we celebrated the Memorial of our Guardian Angels. I recalled a night, many years ago, walking the dog late in the evening. It was very late, no one out and about, so I chose to walk him in the middle of the street so he would have plenty of room and could survey the neighborhood. We were halfway down the block, but in the still of the night I heard a car turning the corner, speeding with screeching tires, on the street perpendicular to the one I was walking on. My heart raced as I had a feeling the car would turn onto the street I was walking. But I was frozen. In a split second the car did turn and we faced it head on. Suddenly I felt a push on my left side and looking ahead at the dog saw him move in the same way, looking straight ahead but his body being pushed entirely to the right in the same way that I was being moved. The car sped by. I knew in an instant that I didn’t move us and that we had been spared from being hit. I can’t say I thought of my guardian angel much before that night, after giving up the youthful evening prayer of “Angel of God, my guardian dear…” My faith in the presence of my guardian angel grew on that evening and in the many instances I have been protected since.

I read a reflection by Br. Michael Marcotte, OSB, of Conception Abbey on the Gospel for today. He pondered how we continue to find, and grow in, faith when we can’t see the Lord as the apostles did. He quoted Fr. Jacque Philippe and St. Augustine with thoughts to help us grow in faith. He wrote: “Fr. Jacques Philippe maintains that it is through prayer—especially praying with the scriptures—that our faith increases. He wrote “Faith is the capacity of believers to act not according to impressions, preconceived ideas, or notions borrowed from other people, but according to what they are told by the Word of God, who cannot lie.” (Time for God, p. 9). As St. Augustine put it, “Believe in order to understand.” Faith is not a matter of acquiring the right kind of knowledge. It is about entering into a relationship of trust and love.”

Scripture shows us that God is faithful. If we look at our lives over a broader spectrum of time, I believe that we can see that as well. It can be challenging in the moment so I think that Br. Marcotte’s suggestion offers us a roadmap for the journey. He asked, at the end of his article, that we consider how we can deepen our relationship with Jesus and grow in faith.

I need to spend time on that question this week. Maybe you do too? Then perhaps it will begin with the faith of the mustard seed, and over time, grow into a strong and sturdy conviction and confidence.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: One of the memorials in Portugal where the Angel of Fatima, or the Angel of Peace, visited the shepherd children preparing them for their spiritual mission and teaching them prayers.

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

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Ora et labora

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, ora et labora, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

I have been blessed to work a variety of interesting jobs in my life. I have learned new things in each, which were always helpful for the next adventure in my career. I rarely until more recently in life, viewed the work I did as holy.

The Rule of St. Benedict advises the monks of the abbey (or Oblates like me who choose to follow The Rule in life) that “Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore, the monastics should have specified periods for manual labor as well as for prayerful reading.” (Chapter 48 of the RB) During the time of St. Benedict the monastery did not have slaves to do the work of the monastery as was true during this time in history. Work was part of the basic life of the monastery. Benedict believed that the monastics should not benefit or taken advantage of the labor of others or to be a burden on others. It was a privilege to contribute to the life of the monastery, it was purposeful and valuable to the lives of those living there.

We often hear Ora et Labora, pray and work, as I used in my title for today’s blog, associated with The Rule of St. Benedict. While not actually words written in The Rule, it is a motto that represents the orderliness of prayer and work that St. Benedict believed led to a balanced spiritual life. I also like Esther de Waal’s statement in her book, A Life-Giving Way, that “ora, labora, lege (prayer, work, read) would be preferable” to describe life in the monastery. Monks had assigned tasks, non too burdensome for the person doing the work, their designated times of community prayer during the day, but also the times of prayerful reading (lectio divina) and study so that the mind and heart were engaged in growing too.

For St. Benedict, all work done by monastics was valuable. It was a necessary part of life in the monastery but it was also a way of serving others and serving Christ. In the book, A Little Rule for Beginners, Sr. Joan Chittister reflects on the “American Mind”, suggesting that God “leaves the co-creation of the world to us” and says “Our work is not a “job,” it is a contribution to the good of humankind and each of us must find our own.”

On this Labor Day weekend, let us reflect on the work we do, whether paid, volunteer or within our households, as part of the ongoing work of creation. What are we contributing to the world and to those around us? Are we glorifying being busy? Do we have a balanced approach to the time we spend working and the time we spend in prayer and reflection? Perhaps we can take this day of rest from our labors and reflect on how we view our work, or even ourselves in relation to our work.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope. Deena

Image: A photo of St. Benedict from one of my monastery visits in Arkansas (can’t recall which one) with the words Opus Labor (work, labor) on his Rule.