Category: Benedictine Oblate

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Still learning

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, lifelong learning, ongoing catechesis, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Did you know that a typical Jewish Torah scroll is 86 feet long? I didn’t! They are handwritten and if a mistake is made during the creation of the scroll it is discarded and process begun again.

This past week I went on a bus trip to three places of worship in Chicago – Holy Name Cathedral, the Chicago Loop Synagogue, and the Baha’i House of Worship in suburban Wilmette. It was a fascinating day and I loved learning new things about other faith traditions, as well as sharing some things about our Catholic faith and tradition at the Cathedral with those on the trip who pulled me aside to ask questions.

While we were at the synagogue I noticed a lamp burning above the Ark, where the Torah scrolls are kept, and asked about it because of the similarity to a sanctuary candle in every Catholic Church by the Tabernacle. The assistant director of the synagogue praised my question and acknowledged that the Ner Tamid, or Eternal Light, always burns above or near the Ark representing God’s eternal presence. In a Catholic Church we have the red sanctuary light burning at all times (except after Holy Thursday Mass until Easter Vigil because Jesus is no longer present in the Tabernacle) by the Tabernacle in the Church indicating the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

I admit to being enthralled with studying and learning new things. When people ask what I am reading they might expect a current bestseller or fiction book but it is almost always a book on spirituality, self-improvement, or a biography of someone I admire. As a matter of fact I could probably stop buying books and still read new books for the next 5 years! I’ll catch up one of these days.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) encourages our study and ongoing learning. In Article 6 regarding Moral Conscience, the CCC tells us that it is the voice that calls us to love, do good and avoid evil. It guides us to behavior that we view as just and right for ourselves and those we encounter. But it goes on to say that our conscience must be informed and enlightened. We can’t expect that we learned everything that we need to act with an informed conscience, or to act in accord with the teachings of the Church, or whatever faith we practice, when we were instructed as young children. Education of our conscience is a lifelong and ongoing task, according to the Catechism.

Many of us, in Catholic and Protestant services, listened to the scripture of the Good Samaritan this weekend. Jesus teaches with this parable to encourage unconditional love and fair treatment to all regardless of our differences. An insightful Benedictine reflection that I read this Sunday morning reminded us that “we aren’t there yet. We need to keep re-tuning our ear and correcting our vision with the lens of charity, humility, and truth.” That is exactly the reason we continue to listen and be transformed by the Living Word of God (and hopefully by homilies and sermons that encourage the kind of behavior that Jesus challenges us to).

This desire for ongoing learning is the reason that I love the Wednesday Papal Audience and Angelus addresses given by our Popes. They are a brief catechesis on current topics of the day, how we should treat each other and live our lives. I want to keep my mind and heart open to seeing things a new way and changing those aspects of my thoughts and behavior that are not aligned with the heart of Christ.

Whether it is your faith life, or an area you desire to grow deeper in understanding and knowledge, keep learning! I offer these reminders for us to consider this week:

“I am still learning.” – Michelangelo (aged 87)

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.” – Albert Einstein

“Therefore we intend to establish a school for God’s service. In drawing up its regulations, we hope to set down nothing harsh, nothing burdensome…But as we progress in this way of life and in faith, we shall run on the path of God’s commandments, our hearts overflowing with the inexpressible delight of love.” – The Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Torah scrolls in the Ark at the Chicago Loop Synagogue

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An ever-present call

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I laughed out loud this morning when I read Kate Bowler’s Blessing for today on social media (“A Blessing and a Curse for your best life now”). “I am a project with a thousand open tabs. A walking checklist, forever waiting for the satisfying ding of completion. And this much is true: I am incomplete. But no one ever promised we’d get to feel whole.”

I LOVE THAT!

I often have this sense (and maybe you do too) of some magical finish line to cross. We think we will finally get all the insights, knowledge, tasks complete, big picture finally clear, etc. Then everything will be fine.

Nope! It doesn’t happen that way. It’s an ongoing, ever-evolving journey. (That’s exactly why I titled my weekly blog “Journeys”!)

We have to listen to the calls and invitations in life but then shape it to our own way of being in the world. One of my favorite craft makers and designers constantly reminds us, “You do you!” It doesn’t work to copy someone else or expect our “projects in life” to come out the same as their version. As a matter of fact, that would likely be pretty boring. Yes, I certainly look to others to inspire me but then have to do it my way, go “rogue” and make it my version of being.

Just the other day I was sharing a new project idea with a friend and thought it might be a great idea for her too. My project looked one way and the idea I had for her was something that would be unique to her and what she shares with the world. We both love to teach and help people grow in self-awareness and being their best selves, but we have two unique ways of sharing it. And that is just perfect! Neither of us could, or would want to, present our ideas the way the other one does. We support and encourage each other in our unique ways of being.

I’ve shared in previous blogs that this uniqueness of call is one of the things I love most about Ignatian Spirituality. Discernment, whether to our vocation in life, or the every day decisions we have to make, advise us to look at our desires, our unique gifts and aspirations, the needs of those around us and in the world, and most importantly, our dialogue with God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God wants to use the things we love to do, and that we have been given the ability to do, to do God’s work in the world.

I love the quote by Blaise Pascal, “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of… We know the truth not only by the reason, but by the heart.” We have to listen to the desires of our heart, in union with our intellect and the Spirit, as we respond to the “call” in front of us each day.

June 29 is the Solemnity of the Saints Peter and Paul, a great Feast Day in the church. Peter, despite his lack of education and constant faults, and even betrayal, was entrusted with the initial guidance of the Church. Paul, a persecutor and enemy of the early followers of Jesus, became the most distinguished and esteemed writer of the scriptures that serve as a roadmap for Christian living and offer instruction and guidance to the Church. Both died as martyrs for the faith.

I would venture to say that when Jesus said to Simon, “You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church”, or when St. Paul was knocked off his horse, blinded by light and led to the home of an early Christian that he would have been known for persecuting, that neither of them had a clear vision and goal, the perfect five-year plan, and knew what lied ahead for them. They only knew to respond “yes” to the call. God used who they were, and what they were in life, to call them to something more.

So, this week I propose we give ourselves a little grace to having it all figured out. Most certainly, I want to stop comparing and expecting to have all the answers that I perceive others to have. I hope to have a little bit more trust this week than last in the guidance I receive in prayer. I desire to be a better version of “just being me” this week than I was last. That seems like it would be wonderful progress to make!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Photo for this week: The San Damiano Cross, taken during my pilgrimage to Italy, in the Basilica of St. Clare in Assisi. It is said St. Francis was praying before this cross when the received the commission to the Lord to “go rebuild the Church”.

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Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena

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Spirit that reveals

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, Holy Trinity, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our Lady of the Way, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

On June 11 of this month, Sojourners Magazine reflected on the life and teachings of American Christian scholar and theologian, Walter Brueggemann. Brueggemann, who passed away on June 5, was a great teacher, and an influential interpreter, of the Bible and especially, the Old Testament and biblical prophets. His most influential work, The Prophetic Imagination, challenged us to see the world as God sees it and overcome the limitations of our present reality. In 1985, he wrote, for Sojourner, “The Spirit works through us, among us, and even against us. The Spirit in these days would indeed work against our hopelessness to let us hope.” A poignant message for us given the state of the world.

This Sunday, June 15, is the Solemnity of the Holy Trinity. We often try to give images and roles to the Trinity in an attempt to understand the inexplicable relationship of God in three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Brueggemann once wrote that the purpose of doxology, an expression of praise or liturgical praise, is to defy reasoning that tries to explain what God in the Trinity is. We can’t, so perhaps it’s better to just sing!

This week I have been praying with an 8-Day Retreat on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, presented by Our Lady of the Way Retreat Ministry. Day 6 focused on the Gift of Understanding. The prelude to the prayer states: “Understanding is one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit that enables believers to comprehend the truths of faith through both reason and divine revelation….With the gift of understanding, we can grasp divine mysteries of faith that surpass human reasoning.” That was a helpful reminder as I approached Trinity Sunday.

I can’t possibly grasp the concept of Trinity with my feeble human intellect. I can read, pray and contemplate the relationship between the “persons” of the Trinity but at some point I have to accept it on faith. I can also, reflecting on Bruegggemann’s statement above, hope to grow in understanding and allow the impact of the Trinity to reveal, guide and be at work in my life.

Give Us This Day published a reflection entitled “Sustained Attentiveness” by Brueggemann on Friday of this week, certainly planned far in advance of his passing. In it he wrote, talking about Jesus’ “radical interpretation” of the Torah, “finally he will say at the end of the chapter, “Be Perfect” – be whole – have integrity – be about one thing in your life. Be in sync with God. But such being in sync requires, as serious Jews have always known, swimming upstream against ordinary social practices.” Brueggemann went on to suggest we see the church as a body of coworkers who walk a different path in the world and that we live together “for the sake of the world that God loves!” He said we cannot “be the church by accident, but only with obedient intentionality.” In that Sojourner article, mentioned above, they quoted Brueggemann saying “the practice of prophetic imagination … requires energy, courage, and freedom, and the sense of being otherwise. And I have no doubt that we are now arriving at a moment when there is no more middle ground.”

As I pray for peace in our fractioned and turbulent world, and integrity within our policies and caring for the good of all those in society, I ask for the gift of understanding. I pray, also, to be transformed by the gifts of knowledge, fortitude, counsel and wisdom so that I may live in sync with God, radical in justice and mercy. Then, as St. Ignatius teaches, I will desire and choose only that which helps me attain the end for which I have been created.

Wishing you abundant gifts of the Spirit this week, Deena

Image: my favorite icon of the Trinity, created in the 15th century by Russian iconographer, Andrei Rublev.

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A spirit of renewal

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Pope Francis, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, synodalityLeave a comment

Later this summer, God willing, I will celebrate another birthday. I was reflecting early this morning on the ways I have changed this year. Yet in all the little, or even big changes, this past year I remain the same person with the same guiding values and principles in life. I dream new dreams, set goals and aspire to new things but remain the same in essence – a woman, daughter, sister, aunt, who is compassionate, values integrity and authenticity, seeks peace, desires to serve God in the best way that I can given the gifts I have. Those fundamental characteristics of who I am do not change regardless of the other evolutionary shifts on my journey through life.

Pentecost, celebrated in the Church today on June 8, fifty days after Easter, is recognized as the birth of the Church. The Spirit descended on Mary, the Apostles and other disciples and ignites them with a desire and passion to carry on the mission of Jesus, witnessing the love of the Christ to all those they encounter and spreading that message of peace. The power of the Spirit descended on them but it continues in the world, throughout time, since that first Pentecost and even today! Yet, even contemplating all of the changes in the Church in the past 2000+ years, the guiding principles of Jesus and the fundamental Christian truths, remain the same, despite culture, age, or specific social or ecclesial situation.

As I reflected upon this past year in my life, I also pondered the changes this past year in the Church. Most recently, of course, for Catholics was the passing of Pope Francis and the election of Pope Leo XIV. There were also numerous meetings of the Synod on Synodality in 2024, with the Second Session ending in October 2024 marking the end of the discernment phase. Beginning in 2021, Pope Francis asked the Church, laity, religious and ordained ministers of the Church, to reflect on themes of communion, participation and mission. The preparatory documents said that the purpose of the Synod was not to “produce documents, but to plant dreams, draw forth prophecies and visions, allow hope to flourish, inspire trust, bind up wounds, weave together relationships, awaken a dawn of hope, learn from one another and create a bright resourcefulness that will enlighten minds, warm hearts, give strength to our hands.”

Earlier this week I listened to a Liturgical Press webinar with Cardinal Timothy Radcliffe, member of the Dominican Community at Blackfriars, Oxford, on “Synodal Hope, The Vision of Pope Francis and the Future with Pope Leo.” He is a strong advocate for the Synod process and has been involved in the Synod by offering spiritual reflections at various meetings and retreats for those involved in the Synod gatherings. He offered hope (a theme discussed in his new book, Surprised by Hope; Further Meditations on Synodality published by Liturgical Press) in the process, regardless of how we feel about our place in the Church, acknowledging that many feel they are on the margins or whose full dignity in role and mission has not been recognized.

Cardinal Radcliffe said the Synod isn’t about subverting authority or hierarchy, that it isn’t about decisions, but rather, quoting Pope Benedict XVI, saying that it is about “encounter”. Being Catholic is about opening our being to everything and everyone, reaching out with stretched open arms. He said that it is about daring to get together to share hopes and dreams, “Being Church, being Christian, being alive in God”, and dropping barriers.

Pope Leo XIV, at the Pentecost Vigil and this Sunday morning, at the Mass of Pentecost, said that the Holy Spirit comes to “breaks down our hardness of heart, our narrowness of mind, our selfishness, the fears that enchain us and the narcissism that makes us think only of ourselves.” The Holy Spirit challenges us to open borders, first within our hearts and then in our relationships with others. Pentecost he said, “renews the Church, renews the world”.

During the Pentecost Vigil, Pope Leo said that synodality is rooted in the Trinity and where the Spirit is, “there is movement, a journey to be made.” He offered encouragement to say that, in this Jubilee Spirit, we walk together in unity, no longer for ourselves but walking alongside each other. Synodality demands that we recognize the poverty and richness in everyone, that we realize we are part of a greater whole.

I was inspired as Pope Leo said that this great mission of the work of God is something we all participate in, we take part in our parishes and our communities, using the charisms we have been given, working as one, the future then becomes less dark, discernment less complicated.

On this great Solemnity of the Church, I have hope. I have hope that we trust the Spirit to guide us on our individual paths and in the ways we can make a difference in the world. I have hope that the Church will seek to draw people together, to listen and encounter versus separate. I have hope, that the Jubilee message of Hope, as it now continues to be shared by Pope Leo, will have a far reaching impact to create peace in the world, to break down barriers and open hearts.

Come Holy Spirit, Come!

Wishing you abundant peace and Hope this week, Deena

Image: Our Pentecost window at Holy Family Church.

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Trust the journey

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Madonna della Strada, Our Lady of the Way, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I recall the words of one of my wellness teachers in Michigan as I prepared to leave corporate life in the late 1980’s and move back to Illinois to open a business. He said, paraphrasing a bit, teach what you want keep practicing or what you want to learn. Many of us that write or teach do just that. It’s often a thought we want to explore more, go deeper with, or remember about our journeys. That is very true with today’s post!

The past couple of days have been challenging ones. I was doubting and wondering what lies ahead for me. It’s part of the reason that the past couple of blogs have been about listening to an inner call and watching for guidance from Spirit. But more specifically this week, I have been contemplating a way to present a concept about personal call and vocation in life, a Christ-centered approach to looking at the different aspects of our lives and making sense of how we decide what to focus on, the activities we pursue and how they fit in our mission in life. As soon as I put thoughts together, my inner critic would chime in and say “who cares”, “why bother”, “no one needs to know this” or worse, “no one wants to know this”. I got discouraged and depressed.

So Friday, I bought some plants! Dirt therapy is revitalizing! I have hope when I plant and watch my flowers grow and blossom. As I was finishing up outside Saturday morning, I was surprised by a visit from a good friend, Cheryl, who lives out of town, but was in the area to visit the cemetery and another friend. She dropped off an adorable cat, coffee mug, knowing coffee and cats are two of my favorite things. I was touched by the gift and the surprise visit! A few minutes later, another friend, Kelly, texted that she wanted to stop by and drop off a treat. It was an amazing chocolate expresso cupcake from a local bakery, Millstone, which I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday evening! Those brief encounters reminded me that no matter what else is going on, I have loving and cherished friends and have that to be grateful for.

Saturday evening I sat down to catch up on social media and saw a post by the Jesuits of Canada and the United States on Facebook honoring the Feast of Our Lady of the Way, Madonna della Strada, on May 24. I paused and gave thanks for the reminder to trust Divine Timing.

The fresco of Our Lady of the Way is displayed at the Church of the Gesu in Rome, Italy. There is also a replica of the painting in the Madonna della Strada Chapel on the campus of Loyola University in Chicago. St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, had a deep love for our Lady. Our Lady of Arantzazu and Our Lady of Montserrat Shrines were significant in his personal journey, and the formation of what we now call the Spiritual Exercises and Ignatian Spirituality. St. Ignatius, and later his companions, the early Jesuits, formed and made solemn vows on Marian feast days.

Our Lady of the Way is special to me because she led me to my spiritual director and praying the Spiritual Exercises this past year. Last Spring, when I worked for Ignatian Ministries, I had been talking to Becky Eldredge about the Spiritual Exercises. I knew I didn’t want to walk through the Exercises with anyone that was on our referral list or directors that Becky knew. I wanted it to be with someone that didn’t know me or my work at the ministry. I browsed many Ignatian and Jesuit retreat sites and the minute I found Our Lady of the Way (see info and link below), I knew it was the right retreat center for me. I waited a couple of months, but once I felt that the calling was intensifying within, I browsed the spiritual directors and emailed one of the founders. Besides being trained to walk with people through the Spiritual Exercises, she was trained in Mind-Body, Integrative Healing and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I just knew she was the right fit! We talked and it was! It’s been a grace-filled year.

This morning, Sunday, May 25, Pope Leo XIV reminded us in his Regina Caeli address that “in all that the Lord calls us to—whether in our life journey or in our journey of faith, sometimes we feel inadequate.” He said that Jesus sends us the Spirit so that we don’t have to worry or be anxious in life in our individual calling or regarding personal responsibilities. Pope Leo, who also has a deep love of Our Lady, said that we too, like Mary, can welcome the Spirit, so that we can be “signs and instruments of his love” to those we encounter. Those words give me hope. I pray that they are an encouragement to you too. Let us watch for the signs that God is with us and that we have the Spirit to guide and encourage us as we attempt to respond to that personal call in each of our lives.

I wish you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Our Lady of the Way, stay with us when we grow weary of the journey…Lead us when we cannot see the path…Because for all we lay down, we pick up something greater, we pick up freedom. Our Lady of the Way, show us the way. (Full prayer on Jesuits.org)

My spiritual director, and her colleagues, have a lovely description of the history and dedication of Madonna della Strada, as well as their retreats and information regarding spiritual direction, on their website, Our Lady of the Way. The Blog section has an abundance of articles on prayer and Ignatian Spirituality, I encourage you to visit it!

Image for today’s blog: the icon of Madonna della Stada at the Church of the Gesu, Rome.

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The paths we choose

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

This past Friday evening, the final 8th grade class of Holy Family School (HFS), our parish Catholic grade school, graduated. I mentioned two weeks ago in my blog that our three local Catholic grade schools are merging and becoming one new school, The Carlo Acutis Academy, beginning in the Fall of 2025. As I looked at pictures shared by the family members of the graduates, as well as friends with grandchildren graduating high school this past week, I find myself a bit sentimental thinking about all of the moments from my first day of kindergarten at Holy Family School and the years that followed. The post image I am sharing this week is our “Oglesby Girls” group (we still gather for lunch and other special events, friends for all these years!), and other classmates who were able to join us, for a final photo with the school name on the building before it changes. We were the first class of HFS that studied Kindergarten through Eighth Grade in the school building.

This week I also participated in a couple of workshops or seminars that helped me to continue to reflect on my topic last week on personal vocation and our call in life. Today, Sunday, May 18, was Pope Leo XIV’s Inaugural Mass of the Petrine Ministry (yes, I woke up at 2:30 a.m. for it!). I listened as commentators muses on his background and priestly and missionary calling that led to his role as Pope and Shepherd of the Catholic Church. He seems perfect, has all of the right qualifications but more importantly the pastoral heart that the world needs right now. Will he make mistakes or do something that will result in questions or criticism? Of course, he is human. But at the moment, I am enjoying the honeymoon period of learning more about him and all the work he has done leading up his selection as Pope just a short 11 days ago. The paths he chose in life gave him the necessary background, along with the working of the Holy Spirit, to bring him to this momentous day.

Before sitting down to write this, I read Maria Shriver’s weekly post, Keep Room In Your Heart for The Unimaginable, regarding her unexpected trip to Rome for the Inaugural Mass and her thoughts on the “yeses” we say in life and making room for the extraordinary. Most of us didn’t, and won’t have the opportunity, to pick up and jet off to Rome for a special event like Maria did this weekend. However, what other choices do we make in life to make room for unpredicted outcomes?

This week my spiritual director asked me if I would be willing to consider a training program she was aware of. My instant response was “No” and all the “blocks”, “restrictions” that came with that response – I’m too old, it’s too late, it’s too expensive, it would take too long… While I need to pray and discern if that program is truly one I might be called to consider, I did realize as the week went on, that there may be other things, other learning opportunities, for me to consider once the “Blocks are blasted” (using the Artist Way terminology regarding facing our inner critics and resistance). These choices we face each day aren’t always big ones, but in each of them we might be invited to make room for Spirit to present new opportunities to us.

Do you still have a dream in your heart whispering for your attention? Is there an invitation that keeps placing itself in front of you, asking you to say “yes”? Are you open and willing to consider something new? I will reflect on those questions this week along with you!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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Listen and hear

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

On Friday of this week I read the daily reflection by Fr. Michael Casey, “Christ in our ear” in Give Us This Day. We studied Fr. Casey’s books in our Benedictine Oblate study so, when I see his name in the daily reflections, I am always ready to listen to what he has to say. Early in his post he says “The world is full of surprises and it is only by responding creatively to the unexpected that we allow the full power of our latent potential to emerge. Mere routine can’t do this.” As I have been trying to contemplate a more creative perspective of my retirement years, I was moved by that statement.

I also reflected on the previous day. I sat glued to my computer screen on Thursday morning, believing for some reason that the vote for our new Pope would come early. All of the announcers were saying if the vote came Thursday, it would more likely be the vote later in the day. I kept watching, I had an inkling to stay put. But I still gasped as I saw the white smoke swirl from the chimney around the pair of doves and their little one on the roof of the Sistine Chapel. “We have a Pope” I quickly texted friends!

To learn that an American, Illinois-born, dual citizen of Peru and missionary, was selected to be our Pope was a complete surprise. I saw Cardinal Prevost’s name on lists but never in a million years would I have imagined an American pope! Seeing his experience, it’s easy to understand how his brother Cardinals placed their confidence in his ability but it still seems unbelievable, in the most wonderful way! Every video I watch and Vatican News update on his speeches and homilies excite me even more. He is a man of deep faith. A man of service, asking “God to help us all live “in service to one another…capable of helping one another to walk in love and truth.” He is a voice of peace and building bridges. A voice that we so desperately need!

I watched all the reports and commentaries about his vocation story. It was fascinating to learn that even as a young boy he knew he wanted to be a priest, then discerned the life of an Augustinian friar and missionary priest vs Diocesan life. I was touched by his visit to a Shrine outside of Rome, dedicated to the Mother of Good Counsel in Genazzano which has been run by Augustinians since the 1200’s. He made his profession to the Order of Saint Augustine in the Province of Our Lady of Good Counsel of Chicago in 1978 then solemn vows in 1981. Our Lady of Good Counsel is a special Marian title to me, so I love his devotion to her under that name. (And the image I selected, from a chapel I visited on the grounds of the Shrine of our Lady of Guadalupe in LaCrosse, WI for today’s blog).

On Saturday evening I watched the debut of a rookie pitcher in a Chicago Cubs game against the New York Mets. Cade Horton’s mother shared the joy of seeing her son’s dream come true. She shared that he wanted to be a baseball player since he was little and the broadcasters shared an adorable t-ball picture in a Cubs jersey.

I only know one other person, personally, who has been laser focused on what they wanted to be from a very young age. Seeing that dream come to life for him has been an inspiring journey. He also is someone I see as destined for greatness in his career. I wonder about hearing a call and having the courage to remain steadfast to it throughout life. Do some of us know early? Do some have a special ability to hear and respond to a call?

A few years ago someone wrote me and stated that, throughout my life, I have been ignoring a call to religious life. That may or may not be true, but I responded that there are many ways to respond to God’s call and that I felt living a single life, outside of a community, was my journey. But somehow I am still on a path of discernment. Would that be the case if I had said “yes” to the invitation in the 1990’s?

In a small book on discernment of personal vocation through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, Fr. Herbert Alphonso, S.J. says that the unique, true and deepest part of the self is our personal vocation. He suggests that the deepest transformation in any of our lives takes place when we live out that vocation. It doesn’t have to be to religious life (but my continued prayers for all those who choose this as their path in life), or have to be discerned early or late in chronological years. But he shares from his years of experience walking with and leading individuals through the Exercises and retreats, that confirmation of a personal vocation is “written into one’s concrete history and into the inner dynamism (that is, movement of the inner forces) of one’s life.” He goes on to say that the manifestation of that vocation may change with life circumstances but the unique way that the Spirit calls us never changes. (Discovering Your Personal Vocation, Herbert Alphonso, SJ)

Perhaps some of us listen more carefully. Maybe some of us are more stubborn. But I turn to the Saints and great teachers of my faith to know that sometimes the response to the call happens at various stages in life. I have hope in that knowledge.

Fr. Casey in his reflection, mentioned above, states that we would be wise to consider that God may be speaking to us even when our lives are turning out a little different than expected. That perhaps we are being asked to change course. The key is listening and remaining open.

He concluded his reflection by suggesting that we respond, not expecting to understand what we are called to completely, it remains a mystery for us but that “Saying ‘Yes’ gives us entrance to a world beyond our reasoning”.

This week let us be open to hearing that small voice that calls us to more in life. Let us pray for the grace to be receptive to an invitation to change course if needed or simply a more discerning ear to listen. In doing so, let it bring forth more surprises and peace as we live out our individual and unique call in life.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

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A lost sheep

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Divine Mercy, Easter Hope, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Laudato Si, Pope Francis, sacred listening, sacred seeing, season of change, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I woke up Friday morning from a dream and felt lost. In my dream the school children did a presentation in our church, before Mass, but moved the ambo, altar and tabernacle. As I was helping to remove their displays, a visiting priest came from the confessional. He didn’t know where everything was and I could’t find the items to help. How were we going to go on?

I woke with the realization of the heavy loss and sadness of this week. The loss of our shepherd, Pope Francis, is weighing heavily on my heart.

The week has been full of beautiful tributes and remembrances of Pope Francis’ writings and impact, so I won’t presume that I can say anything different, or more eloquently, than others have already. I have lived in a church and world guided by 7 different popes. Pope Pius XII was only pope two more years after my birth, but each of the other popes since Pope John XXIII have influenced me and my faith in various ways, but none as much as Pope Francis. He focused on themes such as joy, mercy and hope and lived a life that honored the dignity of all people. He asked us to hear the cry of the earth, our common home, and the cry of the poor and respond with love. He called us to evangelize with our lives and let our joyful way of living be the way we share the Gospel with those we encounter. His smile radiated love and compassion. These teachings, his spirituality and catecheses on other topics, were tenets that I resonated with, more than any other pope, therefore I feel the loss more deeply.

I watched the Requiem Mass live from the Vatican on Saturday morning and thought it was so fitting for the person he was and the way he lived. If things can be simple by the standards of the Vatican, and all the trappings of being Pope to a church of a reported 1.4 billion people, I think it was. I captured images so that I can recall the day, but as I watched the Mass and journey to his final resting place, I was especially moved by two images, that I felt represented the man that he was. There was something very poignant about the unadorned casket in St. Peter’s Square. Later, as the proceedings came to a close, I loved watching the white “Pope mobile” travel the city of Rome from the Vatican to Santa Maria Maggiore, where Pope Francis has been laid to rest. The Pope’s body moved through the streets of Rome among his people, close to the people, just as he preferred his pontificate to be.

I was fortunate enough to visit the Basilica of Santa Maria Maggiore during my 2023 pilgrimage and now that his tomb is open to the public as of today, Divine Mercy Sunday, I have a reason to want to return.

The picture that I used for this blog image was taken during our general audience with Pope Francis in St. Peter’s Square. I posted it on social media this week, and in 2023 during our visit, it’s my favorite picture from the pilgrimage and I am delighted I hadn’t used it in a blog post previously.

So now I turn my prayers to formidable task ahead for the College of Cardinals. I pray for the future of the Church and for the Holy Spirit to guide the cardinals to select someone with a pastoral spirit similar to Pope Francis and with a heart and mind capable of offering wisdom to leaders in the world today.

Wishing you abundant trust in God’s mercy, and a heart full of joy and hope, Deena

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A pilgrim journey

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Easter Hope, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Lenten journey, sacred seeing, Seeing things in a new way, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

Our Lenten journey has brought us to the glorious Feast of Easter, it is the Solemnity of all Solemnities, a joyful conclusion to our Lenten penances and the beginning of the Octave of Easter (Easter is eight days long!). I wish you and your loved ones a grace-filled Easter Season!

If you participated in the Triduum Services of the Lord’s Supper, Good Friday and Easter Vigil, there is so much to reflect on from the solemn liturgies we prayed with and today we celebrate the gift of God’s love in the Resurrection. A few thoughts came to mind as I reflected on my own journey through Lent.

Meditations written by Pope Francis for the Good Friday Way of the Cross in Rome’s Colosseum explained that the world we are faced with can be cold and calculating, that we become prisoners of ourselves when we focus on selfishness and indifference to those in need. Writing about and using the analogy of each of the Stations, Pope Francis explains our human journey and that only when we focus on the way of Christ, are we able to make sense in our lives, to bring about a restoration of joy and we feel as though we have come home.

Pope Francis’ meditation reminds me of the essence of a book I read during Lent, Jesus and the Jubilee; The Biblical Roots of the Year of God’s Favor by Dr. John Bergsma. It’s a deep and profound study of the history of the Jubilee Year in the Church and an invitation to reflect on this current Jubilee Year of Hope 2025, as a way of life, not a single, special event in the Church. He shares practical ways that we can bring the Spirit of Jubilee into our lives. We reflect on how we might make Jubilee a lifestyle and encounter the liberty that Jubilee offers us. If I approach the crosses of daily life with a heart of the Beatitudes and the “divine economy” of God, then we are able to experience the liberating grace of Jubilee.

I spent time on Holy Saturday reflecting on words written by Fr. James Martin, S.J. for America magazine on waiting. Fr. Martin wrote that most of our life is spent waiting. Our days waiting aren’t always “the unbearable pain of a Good Friday. Nor are they suffused with the unbelievable joy of an Easter.” Most days, Fr. Martin proposes, are “in between”. We wait for changes in circumstances, health, job, and relationships. I know I often think, “when this happens” (whatever “this” is), then I’ll be happier or find more peace, that my life will change or be better. But, our waiting becomes bearable when we change our approach to the outcome we desire and when we choose to wait with hope.

As I look back on this Lent, I’m a little sad it has ended. I have benefited from the extra prayers and practices. I have grown and changed in ways I hoped to, but desire so much more. That, I suppose, is our Easter pilgrimage, a journey that continues beyond this Lent and each day of our lives.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Image: A fresco of the women encountering the angel at the tomb of Jesus, painted by Fra Angelico viewed in the Museo di San Marco in Florence, Italy.