Category: contemplation

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Guide our feet into the way of peace

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christmas Peace, Coming home to myself, Compassion, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey2 Comments

In the very first paragraph of the Introduction of Joan Chittister’s book, The Monastic Heart, she asks “Where do we go now as individuals to find our way out of the shadows and toward a new light?” She says that each of us have within a desire to be more of ourselves, to figure out what is being asked of us when the “pressures of our time seem insoluble and our inherent energy begins to fray.” Her answer to these problems of the world, or the unsettled spaces within our spirit, is monastic living. “Monasticism is the single-hearted search for what matters in life.”

But don’t despair, you don’t have to run off to a monastery to live a life guided by monastic principles. You do it where you are, as you are, but guided by different values.

Granted that isn’t always easy. As a Benedictine Oblate, I have promised to live by monastic values and The Rule of St. Benedict. But, this week has tested my ability to see Christ in the other, to allow solitude to bring calm and clarity when inside my thoughts and feelings are tumbling, and to be thoughtful in speech, knowing what to say and when to say it. Thankfully support comes from many places, most especially during this Christmas season.

Christine Valters Paintner, author and online abbess of Abbey of the Arts, described the “inner monk” in her weekly email this morning. Christine said “The ‘inner monk’ seeks God as the source of all being, searches for a mystical connection to the divine source, longs for what is most essential in life, and cultivates this through a commitment to spiritual practice. The monk is nourished through silence and a commitment to see everything as sacred.” Reminders such as these, to see the world from a contemplative perspective, to find mystery, wonder and awe in daily life, are critical for me, as I attempt to maintain a balance of being informed but not being pulled down in a pit of despondency and hopelessness.

I don’t have blinders on by any means. As a monastic, a Benedictine Oblate, we aren’t called to that. But, I can only watch a limited amount of news (or videos as the case was this week) before I feel it getting too heavy for my spirit. I have chosen updates from sources I trust. I prefer these updates from political historians, like Heather Cox Richardson, or award winning journalist, who worked for 60 Minutes and National Geographic, Jeff Newton. People that have the experience to back their perspective. Although I will also admit to enjoyed the clever, daily updates from Pasture Politics, a farm from Upstate New York. I have no idea of his background, (will admit it’s closer to my political views and not unbiased), but it’s innovative and captivating.

Joan Chittister, in The Monastic Heart, says that “every moment of social tension needs a peacemaker.” But the “truth is that only one thing can really bring peace: the commitment not to destroy other people’s sense of self, of dignity, of value in the name of truth.” That makes keeping up on social media difficult. Every post brings deep and cutting responses, full of malice, contempt and an attempt to demean versus state an opposing opinion. It’s sad. It’s uncalled for. It will not bring peace.

This past two months I found another source of inspiration for compassion and peace, besides my daily prayer and reflection. My friend Maribeth shared with me the journey of the Buddhist monks (@walkforpeaceusa on Facebook) walking a 120 day, 2,300-mile journey from Fort Worth, Texas (the home of their monastery) to Washington D.C. Their only goal is to raise awareness of peace, loving kindness and compassion. It is not to raise money, to convert people to Buddhism, or to mention any specific national event or ideology. I listen to their talks daily and have never once heard an unkind or judgmental statement. This week I had a deeply personal involvement with their journey. Two weeks ago, when Mari and I saw that they would be nearing her home in South Carolina, I asked her if she was going to attend. We began following their daily schedule. I encouraged her to attend, and hoped she would. I said given more time to plan, and care for my cats at home, I would have picked up and flown to make the journey with her. She did attend and after capturing videos and special moments at the Saluda County Courthouse, and accepting a peace bracelet for me from a monk, she admitted to me that the only reason she attended was for me, but was glad that she did have the opportunity to be with them. My heart was overflowing with gratitude for the gift of her friendship and for the ability for both of us to encounter the monks, even if my presence with her was virtual.

It hasn’t altered my Christian beliefs, but it has enriched them. Venerable Bhikkhu Pannakara suggests a practice, in his daily teachings, that I have incorporated into my daily journaling. It is a simple practice. It is to begin the day by writing (with pen and paper, not just thinking or typing it), “Today is going to be my peaceful day.” It is simple, easy but powerful. It helps me desire peace before being exposed to or consuming the thoughts of others or letting thoughts of worry or fear hijack my day.

Imagine if our first thoughts were of peace and if we wished for others what the monks wish for all in each and every post they make on social media; May we be mindful in everything we do throughout the day. May you and all beings be well, happy and at peace.

By the way, a local news channel recorded the Saluda talk. It’s a bit soft and hard to hear at the beginning but well worth sticking with it. It is a wonderful summary of all they are sharing on their journey. You can find it by clicking here. This was the event that Maribeth attended.

As I pray each morning in the Benedictus, I wish and pray “In the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Amen.

Wishing you abundant peace and happiness this week, Deena

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Go by another way

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, epiphany, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our Lady of the Way, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I sat down this morning to do social media work I have been hired to do, before starting this blog, and I heard a bird calling. It wasn’t the typical wrens or sparrows of the morning. It was clearly not cardinals or blue jays I hear in adjacent neighborhood trees. It’s too early for robins. It was distinct, different. I immediately got up to find it, in the front yard, or in my backyard tree. I couldn’t find it but I kept looking as it kept calling out. It stopped me from doing anything else, I couldn’t resist the invitation.

I wonder, as I reflect on the wise men in today’s Epiphany story, if these magi had the same urgency to respond to the unique star they were seeing, seeking the important event it was foretelling. It’s easy to ignore those inner promptings, whether as simple as the little bird I heard, or as illuminating as a distant star. We pass them off as impractical ideas or a passing flights of fancy.

Sometimes the way will find you, even if you go another way.

This Fall I listened to a talk, either by Fr. Bonafice Hicks or Sr. Miriam Heidland (my journal notes weren’t clear as I looked back), and a reference to a new book by Bishop Eric Varden on Chastity and how chastity, and Bishop Varden’s description of chastity, speak of a reconciliation of senses and a love of beauty. I had listened to Bishop Varden online in the past, and enjoy his teaching, so I ordered it immediately. Once it arrived, and I attempted reading, I quickly realized I was in over my head. I set it aside. I picked it up again at a later date and came to the same conclusion, I was not going to get the point so easily captured by the review I listened to.

During a recent homily, my pastor spoke of Bishop Varden, so Friday I dropped off the book, thinking he might enjoy reading it and would certainly be a better student of the concepts than I was. I consider myself fairly adept at spiritual literature and theological teaching. Not an intellectual, but also not completely amateur to spiritual reading. After all, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Catherine of Siena, St. John of the Cross aren’t kindergarten reading and I enjoy spending time with their writings. I handed over the book as well as any hope of being able to understand it.

Friday night I was listening to a daily session of Minute Monk on the Hallow app, led by John Cannon, founder of Monk Mindset (a website but also a paid app released in 2025). The reflection was given by Fr. John on the Feast of Saints Basil and Gregory. He began talking about the Tools of Good Works in the Rule of St. Benedict and the love of chastity. He described chastity, not as an absence of sin, but as a good desire, a virtue, a mark of a human being fully alive. He then referenced Bishop Varden’s book on Chastity. I literally laughed out loud given that I handed over the book earlier in the day.

Ok, God I am listening, I exclaimed. Where are you leading me?

The summary was an excellent one, much like the one that led me to order the book in the Fall. Fr. John continued to describe chastity not as a list of do’s and don’ts but as an re-establishment of wholeness. It restores our senses to see and truly love, is a marker of integrity and allows us to see the world in truth, to have a contemplative spirit. It leads us to be more clearly attuned to our ultimate purpose of loving God and others.

For clarification for those who might be confused about chastity versus celibacy (a vow or state of being to remain unmarried and chaste), chastity is a broader virtue of having fidelity, sexually, to one’s state in life, whether being married or unmarried.

The instance wasn’t for me a reminder of living a chaste life, but instead was a reminder of living a contemplative life, focused on love and compassion for others (Compassion is my chosen “word” for 2026). It was a reminder that being free of other responsibilities, I have desired a life dedicated to prayer, contemplation and monastic virtues. But lately I have questioned how I have been living that commitment. How deep is my love of others when I react harshly, with judgment, to those I encounter? Am I seeing Christ in the other?

This morning, the USCCB social media pages, released a reflection on the Feast of the Epiphany by the Most Rev. Ronald Hicks, Archbishop-designate of New York and Bishop of Joliet. Even though he is Bishop in the nearby Diocese of Joliet, I have learned more about him recently as he has been introduced to the people of New York. He talked about how his experience of living in Central America transformed him, his experience of the people and the culture, changed him. He said that when he encounter Jesus and his word, in scripture, and the sacraments, when we care for others, we go home by another way. We are changed and we are challenged to carry that Light, that we have experienced, out to others.

Let it be so.

Wishing you a week of abundant hope and joy, Deena

Image: a photo of a sunset, a moment of beauty.

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We wait in love – Fourth Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Pause and rest, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Our theme this Fourth Sunday of Advent is Love. We listen to the story of Joseph’s dream and his response, with love, to take Mary into his home. We reflect on the coming Solemnity of Christmas and the love God demonstrates for all of us by sending his Son into the world. As we prepare to celebrate the coming of Christ into the world, by remembering his birth over 2000 years ago, we are invited to birth that love to others in our words and actions.

We’ve arrived, in just a couple of days, we end our Advent waiting and join the angels singing songs of praise for the birth of Jesus in our world. Do you feel prepared? Not just with all the activities of preparing for Christmas, but in your heart? Have to tried to make room each day to welcome the Christ?

I have certainly tried but each year I ponder whether I have prepared adequately, instead being too focused on all that needs to be done. So, today I will slow down the pace a bit. On this first day of Winter, I will accept the invitation to savor the longer night and reflect on my Advent preparation for the 8-day Christmas Solemnity, reflecting on the Incarnation of Jesus.

I offer these suggestions for you today as you prepare for Christmas this week:

Listen to this soothing musical Taize chant meditating on the coming of the Lord at Christmas, Wait for the Lord.

Contemplate the Incarnation of Jesus using the Ignatian prayer method written about by Becky Eldredge.

Continue our Advent daily prayer of the ancient and poetic O Antiphons (recited each day, from December 17 to December 23, as part of evening prayer in the Catholic Church) by listening to the Benedictine Sisters of Mary, Queen of the Apostles sing O Come O Come Emmanuel. Listen to it as prayer, rather than a familiar Christmas hymn, reflecting the longing in our hearts for a savior. Listen to each title for God as a plea for help, which one would you ask God for the grace of assistance this year? Perhaps O Wisdom – for guidance when confused or have a decision to make, or O Key of David – if you feel stuck or in need of a way where there feels there is none, or today’s verse, O Dayspring – help to clear the clouds of confusion, depression or grief that you might be holding in your heart.

We have a few days left. Let’s use them to prepare for this amazing gift of Love. Spend time pondering the source of every gift in life, consider the Spirit’s prompting us to share the love of Christ, and reflect on the real reason we celebrate Christmas Day, the coming of Christ into our world.

Wishing you abundant Love this week, Deena

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We wait in peace – Second Sunday of Advent

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Pause and rest, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spirit, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

Today is the Second Sunday of Advent and our candle lit today is the candle of Peace. The candle represents the peace that Christ brings to our world. In our time of Advent preparation we are invited to slow down and reflect on our lives. We contemplate and search for the peace that only Christ can bring.

Are you slowing down? Do you feel peace? I have to admit it is taking a conscious effort for me to slow down and savor the Advent season. I am behind my, probably unimportant and self-established, goals of where I wanted to be at this point in December. Rushing and to do lists can take over and get me frazzled in just a second if I let them. To resist that unrest I stop for little moments, and practices, in my day to remind myself to pause, such as reading and reflecting on many of the resources I shared with you the week prior to Advent (see the post for November 23 if you need some ideas). If I feel the anxiety rise or I find my mind wandering in prayer, or at Mass, I stop and repeat “Jesus, my soul waits for you in stillness” (a phrase repeated this Advent in the Hallow app Pray 25 program). Just a slow focused breath with that simple prayer can help reclaim calm in the moment.

Stepping outside can help too. I had to drive to my cousin’s veterinary clinic this week to pick up meds for Butters, and as much as I fretted over the drive each way, it gave me drive time to listen to one of the Advent programs, to pray, and just look at the fields and the sky. I caught sight of a cloud iridescence, a sun prism, as the sun bounced against ice crystals in the air and clouds. Then a skein of geese flew overhead happily on their way to a field or water. The brightness of the sun against the snow covered fields lifted my spirits from worry and concern. It was an unanticipated hour of calm in my day. You may not feel like you have time to take a drive, or simply a walk, but it might just be what you need!

As we listen, or read, the daily scriptures this month we journey with the Old Testament prophecies of the coming Messiah and on Wednesday of next week (December 17, the beginning of my favorite part of Advent, the “O Antiphons”) we listen to the infancy narratives as we recall the journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. All of these are meant to help us recall the historical event of the birth of Jesus but also an annual, and personal, review in preparation for the Second Coming of the Christ.

I pray that these scriptures over the next two weeks help you enter into a few moments of peace rather than anxiety, calm versus disquietude. Let us slow down and remember what we are preparing for.

Wishing you abundant peace this week, Deena

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Preparing the way

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Christ the King, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

The Feast of Christ the King, the final Sunday in the Church’s liturgical year, gives us a reason to stop and pause and ask how important Christ is in our lives. The Feast acknowledges Jesus’ authority over all of creation, including us. But do we live with that in mind? As we end the liturgical year this week and prepare, during the four weeks of Advent, for the celebration of Jesus’ birth over 2000 years ago, are we giving the same attention to planning for Advent that we give planning our preparations for Christmas celebrations and family gatherings?

This week I’d like to offer some suggestions of a variety of books and virtual programs you might consider for your prayer and reflection time during Advent. With the speedy shipping of Amazon, you have plenty of time to order and receive books. Online programs are even easier. (If you are reading this on social media, please visit my website for the links to all the programs, online resources and books.)

Hallow – the #1 Christian and Catholic app for prayer, meditation, and music has planned an Advent program, Be Still, starring several actors and well-known Catholic teachers, which will journey with Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. It will be “a journey into the Christmas story as it truly was.”

Ascension – The Ascension App will be offering Fr. Mike Schmitz’ Advent program, Waiting Well. You can listen to the program with a 7 day free trial or a 90 day subscription for $4.99 (new subscribers only, otherwise 8.99/mo). To find out more, click here.

Ignatian Ministries – In addition to a virtual retreat (Advent Light: Finding Hope in the Word Made Flesh) on Thursday evening, December 4, I am delighted to see that an individual prayer resource I helped to create during my time at Ignatian Ministries, Living Into Advent, is still on the website and available to purchase and download. It offers daily scripture and reflection questions.

My spiritual director for the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius and her colleague at IgnatianRetreats.com are offering a free 8 day Advent retreat, Follow the Way of Hope, Peace, Joy, Love. You can take on your own if you are familiar with Ignatian Contemplation or arrange to meet with a spiritual director during the retreat.

Mary DeTurris Poust’s Advent and Christmas reflection book, Waiting in Joyful Hope 2025-2026, is a wonderful guide for the season. It includes Mary’s reflections on the weekday and Sunday scriptures and invites us to ponder where we are on our spiritual journey. Mary writes a reflection for a daily scripture passage and then a meditation for our personal consideration. I really love this guide and will be meditating with it each day during Advent and the Christmas.

Fr. Gary Caster’s book, The Little Way of Advent: Meditations in the Spirit of St. Therese of Lisieux, is the book we selected for the Advent Discussion Group I will be leading at my parish. Fr. Caster is a priest in our Diocese of Peoria. I used the book when it was first published. It includes readings for all three cycles of the Advent season, so you will be able to use it over again. It is available on Amazon but it now being published by, and available on, Dynamic Catholic. Dynamic Catholic also has a free online program, Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy, for Advent.

Kate Bowler is a Christian author and podcaster that I have mentioned in this blog previously. Kate and her team have put together a free program in Substack subscriptions (last two years it was a downloadable PDF) but you can also request a daily email directly to your inbox.

Catherine Smith, another author that I have mentioned in my blog, will be reading Watch for the Light: Readings for Advent and Christmas, a collection of poetry, essays, sermons, and stories by classic and contemporary authors. If you just want to listen to Catherine read and use her reflections, you can upgrade to a paid subscription to Wonder & Awe, her platform, for $5 which will only last one month and won’t be billed another month after. Catherine sends her monthly messages out via email.

I know there are probably dozens of programs you can choose from, these are just some that I am aware of and will be using during Advent. Choose one that fits you and your style of prayer and reflection. Choose one or two, whether a book or an online program, and commit to following it through Advent. Spend time each day reflecting on the real reason for the season. Today’s Feast of the Solemnity of Christ the King, and the season of Advent, can help give us clarity and direction if we pause and look inward. If we realize that our focus has been misplaced, Advent is the perfect time to recalibrate and recenter.

I hope you will join me this Advent to create some quiet time for prayer and reflection as the world tries to tell us we are behind, that we have to spend more money and that the season has to be full of activity to be joyful.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this coming week, Deena

Image: a church visited during an Oblate conference

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Savor these days

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

I watched one of my cats, Butters, this morning after he finished eating and was ready to settle down for a morning nap. He walked the house and looked at all of his favorite spots before settling on his blanket on the couch. I will likely join him with a blanket later today and a steaming cafe latte. It’s a good day to stay warm and cozy after the rain and snow last night and, now, the chill and cold in the air this morning.

Friday I was beginning to feel the panic of the season set in – busy days with work, church activities and errands to get done. I cleaned up the cemetery, thinking ahead to Saturday and knowing that I should clean up a variety of pots at home too. I had some bulbs to get in the ground and transplant a plant from a pot to the ground before the cold. I started thinking about the Christmas cards and shopping that I haven’t started yet. I will be helping with a pop up ornament class at the unique shop that I do social media work for, as well as working two mornings a week. November has meetings and holiday events. In December and early January, I will facilitate an Advent book discussion for my parish. I found myself short of breath thinking about it all! I stopped and reminded myself that I didn’t want these next two months to be a blur of activity and stress but rather moments of prayer, worship, family, friendship, and celebration.

Yesterday I simply enjoyed the day. I went to the gym and coffee with my friend, Kelly. Then home to clean out the pots and get the plant and bulbs in the ground, with a heavy coat of mulch. I went to Mass and then dinner with Kelly and her husband, Mark. We laughed and enjoyed our dinner and each other’s company.

It all gets done. Whatever doesn’t, probably wasn’t that important. Or better yet, focusing on being grateful, celebrating Advent and Christmas, spending time with people and making memories is what truly matters. Stress and worry doesn’t help. It also prevents us from savoring the moments as they present themselves.

I am enjoying my Thanksgiving decorations before I move into Christmas. Each night, in the house, I light my candles, lanterns and sparkly pumpkin. When I decorate for Christmas, I leave those decorations up until at least Epiphany. Since it falls on January 4th this year, I will likely enjoy them until mid-January. The merry lights and decorations help with the darkness of winter. The decorations make me happy but also bring lovely family memories with many of them.

I want to move around and make the best decision for my spirit and my well-being, just as Butters did this morning. I want to pause and savor the moment just as I did as I watched this little bird, today’s post image, as it landed in my tree this morning, swaying with the moving branches in the wind.

Maybe you are like me though, and you have to remind yourself to slow down and savor the moments. I don’t want the days to be a blur of getting things done but not enjoying them. As we move into this busier time of year, I invite you to join me in taking intentional pauses to be present, aware of the people you are with and the things you are doing. I know it’s cliche but if today was your last day, would you be happy with how you spent it? Let’s step back from the rush and hectic pace and find ways to enjoy the things we are doing and the people we are with.

As Pope Leo XIV reminded us in today’s Angelus address, we are invited to walk in “the joy of being the holy People that God has chosen” to spread the Gospel message of love and mercy through our daily witness in life. I am pretty sure being stressed out and anxious isn’t the best way to share that message. So, let us be grateful to God for the lives and people we have been blessed with. Even with daily challenges, we can find something to pause and be grateful for. In doing so, we will likely be a bright light of hope to those around us.

I wish you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

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A whispering threshold

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a thin veil, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, remembering our beloved dead, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, Uncategorized, visionary faithLeave a comment

I visited the cemetery before Vigil Mass for All Souls Day yesterday (Saturday) afternoon to put small votive candles (as seen in today’s blog photo, I gave up on trying to keep real candles lit in the wind) on our family tombstones, a tradition on the evening of All Saints Day to light the path for souls and a symbol of love and remembrance. A few years ago there used to be groups praying as they visited each gravesite and many more candles. I only see a few now.

I love the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, altars with the many marigolds, pictures, food items and symbols decorating the ofrendas, altars, set up between October 27th and taken down shortly after All Souls Day. You can find many beautiful and elaborate pictures online if it is not celebrated in your area. At my parish, we have a lovely tradition of remembering our beloved dead with candles, many of us provide pictures to be placed by the candles, which will burn all month surrounding the altar. I love to reflect on the candles as all the souls that worship at the altar each Mass with us, Saints and saints, that join in our praise. I will add a photo of the candles this year, below, to the online version of this blog post.

There have been times during the year, or after the passing of someone dear, that I have experienced the thin veil between heaven and earth, the mist of time, more easily. Perhaps that is why I relish these days of All Hallows Eve, All Saints and All Souls so much. We can pause and reflect that it is literally a breath that binds us in our bodies and a more tangible realm. We take so many breaths each day for granted. If you have been with someone as they have breathed their last breath, you know how fragile and temporary life is.

This week, during my Wednesday Adoration time, Fr. Carlson played an organ piece, from the many he has downloaded and saved, that I hadn’t heard before. It was lovely, then dissonant like someone that might have hit the wrong note but it continued. It was jarring and unpleasant at times but then also hauntingly beautiful. I asked him about it afterwards but missed the name except that it was a Babylon meditation (if I get the full title this week, I will footnote it below). We reflected that it seemed a fitting reflection on the exile of Jews from Jerusalem to Babylonia. I later reflected on this symbolically for life. We are exiled, temporarily, from our true home, in Heaven. Life is full of those discordant moments, unsettling and disagreeable, in the middle of beautiful, soothing and joyful times. The next night I had a dream, full of symbolism about my life’s journey. I paused in the morning, journaled about it, not wanting to forget the details that I can reflect on and how they might be inspiration for areas of my life that need transformation. I viewed it as a thin, whispering insight between my conscious and subconscious being.

One of my favorite books, it is likely that I have written about it in the past, is Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. Early in the book she asks us to pause and take a deep breath, reminding us that “Our spirit did not generate itself; neither did we create it. It comes from a Divine Being who has breathed life into you and me, into all of us.” Stanz writes about her Irish heritage, Celtic wisdom and the beauty and symbolism of the “thin spaces and places” in Ireland. “Out of sight…does not mean out of soul.” The souls of those we love walk with us each day and remain close to us.

The Church asks us to pray for all those who have died, especially those who have no one to pray for them, this month of November. A lovely practice is to visit a cemetery and just pray the “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord…” Often as I am driving between the tombstones of my grandparents and my parents I recite that prayer over all the tombstones at the cemetery. In the older section there may no longer be family members to pray for them. Whether you are close to the burial places of your loved ones or not, or others you have known in life, take some time during this month of November to remember them and pray in a special way for their souls. They have gone before us with the sign of faith, and have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection (Eucharistic Prayer in the Roman Canon). We shall join them some day.

“…do not let our brothers and sisters be parted from you, but by your glorious power give them light, joy and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever…Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen” (Give Us This Day post for All Souls Day)

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, in the company of all the Saints, this month. Deena

Candles for our beloved dead at Holy Family Parish, Oglesby.

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Live light

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

I don’t really remember what the discussion was the day my spiritual director asked me, during the 9 months of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, what I would take if I had to leave my home immediately but I have never forgotten the question and my answer.

This week I read a daily reflection in Give Us This Day, by Maxwell Johnson in “Travel Lightly to the Kingdom” in which he asked “how easy would it be for any of us to pack up, pick up and go?” He was reflecting on the possibility of having to quickly pack, leave our homes the next day with the possibility of not being able to return, knowing we only had time to pack a few things. He asked us to consider what we would take, leave behind and then the ultimate question, “How much ‘stuff’ do we really need?” As I reflected on these questions I wondered if the things I possess are bringing me joy or are just a source of stress and anxiety. The questions are natural in later years, along with a desire to purge and live more simply, but they are good ones to ponder each day as well.

Certainly in areas impacted by weather threats like fire or hurricanes, the question has been a real one for many individuals in recent years. People being forced from their homes and their countries as a result of war have faced the same concern. I am sure they could tell us the weight of those decisions, whether given a day or an hour to choose. For them, it isn’t just a hypothetical question. It wasn’t a probing inquiry to reflect upon or a spiritual analogy for all the things that weigh us down and distract us on our journey toward eternal life. It was an impactful decision that forced them to consider what they really needed or wanted.

I wonder, what would I take with me?

This weekend, the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time, the always disruptive parable, in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 16: 19-31) of the rich man and Lazarus, asks us to ponder the same soul-searching questions. Am I leading a life that brings me closer to God? Does my life reflect a love and concern for those around me? Or have I been living a self-centered life focused on more mundane and temporal concerns?

I invite you this week to consider the question in your own life. What would you pack today, knowing you have to leave your home tomorrow? Then, reflecting on your answer, what does that say about the other possessions that might consume your time, energy and financial resources?

Whatever the answer, I hope you find abundant peace and hope this week.

Deena

Image: A sketch of monks walking together I saw hanging in a monastery.

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.

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Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.