Category: hope and healing

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Grounded in faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mindfulness, nurturing growth, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith3 Comments

I started reading Brene Brown’s new book, Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, The Tenacity of Paradox, and The Wisdom of the Human Spirit, the past few days. I have to admit that it is always her personal reflections and application of her work with the Dare To Lead program that I find most thought provoking in my own life. We’re all leaders in some way; family, church or social organizations, the way we interact and care in relationships, but having stepped away from corporate work I am less interested in leadership qualities at that level. Still, I was intrigued with Brown’s new book and thoughts she might have on the current state of our societal relationships and leadership. I am glad I followed the hunch to purchase her book.

She began with a personal story about recovering from a pickleball injury and how her coach helped her find and work from her core, engage her body and mind in the healing process, and connect to her “strong ground.” She suggests that many of us are struggling to find our ground. She proposes that individually, and collectively in our country and in organizations, “we need to push into the source of our strength and sturdiness so we can navigate the world. We need the ground to steady us and at the same time to propel us into purposeful action.”

Brown writes quite a bit about her study of, and personal journey with, the mindfulness work of Jon Kabat-Zinn in relation to finding our center and being grounded. Citing research she did for another book, Brown says that both anxiety and calm are contagious. She reminds us that staying calm is an intention. When we consider those we encounter each day, “Do we want to infect people with more anxiety or heal ourselves and the people around us with calm?” We need to pay attention; to our breath, to what’s going on within as we speak and make decisions. I NEED to reflect on the attitude I have as I leave the house, am I going to contribute to the day that others are having or am I going to be a tornado of worry, concern and anxious thoughts as I venture out? Some days it just might be better to stay in until the calm returns and I feel grounded in the truth of who I am.

So far, my favorite sections of the book have been on transformation and “grounded confidence”. I tend to read the first couple of chapters of a new book, then browse and read selectively to get an idea of the entire book I am reading, then go back and read more slowly and thoughtfully. In writing about transformation, and summarizing her reflections throughout the book, Brown examines the false notion that learning and change are only about effort one applies. She suggests that real change happens when we focus and build our foundation, and operate from that place of being grounded, instead of reacting to a current situation or perhaps even worse, being so set in our ways that we think that the problem is with everyone else, thinking they are the ones that need to change, not us!

Personally, one place that I build my foundation and center myself is in my daily prayer, reflection and journaling. Daily Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio Divina, or scripture reflection remind me of God’s love and presence, no matter what seems to be going on around, or within, me. The Letter of 2 Timothy caution us that there will be people around us that deceive us and will go “from bad to worse”. But remaining faithful to what we have learned and believed, from Christ, we will remain “competent and equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy: 3)

Remaining faithful to the daily practice of reflecting on the truth of our faith, we will be “strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3: 16-19)

With that as the source of my strength, I am grounded, more capable and willing, to engage with the world with hope and joy.

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Photo: Taken during a visit to Muir Woods, California

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Real life, real faith

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Some days faith is hard. Life challenges us with the state of the world or the events of our own lives and families. We have constant updates from so many sources, so our minds are infiltrated with the news, close to home and beyond. The apostles following Jesus didn’t have iPhones or social media updates and still they said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17: 5-10, Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time). I pray the same request on many days!

Earlier this week we celebrated the Memorial of our Guardian Angels. I recalled a night, many years ago, walking the dog late in the evening. It was very late, no one out and about, so I chose to walk him in the middle of the street so he would have plenty of room and could survey the neighborhood. We were halfway down the block, but in the still of the night I heard a car turning the corner, speeding with screeching tires, on the street perpendicular to the one I was walking on. My heart raced as I had a feeling the car would turn onto the street I was walking. But I was frozen. In a split second the car did turn and we faced it head on. Suddenly I felt a push on my left side and looking ahead at the dog saw him move in the same way, looking straight ahead but his body being pushed entirely to the right in the same way that I was being moved. The car sped by. I knew in an instant that I didn’t move us and that we had been spared from being hit. I can’t say I thought of my guardian angel much before that night, after giving up the youthful evening prayer of “Angel of God, my guardian dear…” My faith in the presence of my guardian angel grew on that evening and in the many instances I have been protected since.

I read a reflection by Br. Michael Marcotte, OSB, of Conception Abbey on the Gospel for today. He pondered how we continue to find, and grow in, faith when we can’t see the Lord as the apostles did. He quoted Fr. Jacque Philippe and St. Augustine with thoughts to help us grow in faith. He wrote: “Fr. Jacques Philippe maintains that it is through prayer—especially praying with the scriptures—that our faith increases. He wrote “Faith is the capacity of believers to act not according to impressions, preconceived ideas, or notions borrowed from other people, but according to what they are told by the Word of God, who cannot lie.” (Time for God, p. 9). As St. Augustine put it, “Believe in order to understand.” Faith is not a matter of acquiring the right kind of knowledge. It is about entering into a relationship of trust and love.”

Scripture shows us that God is faithful. If we look at our lives over a broader spectrum of time, I believe that we can see that as well. It can be challenging in the moment so I think that Br. Marcotte’s suggestion offers us a roadmap for the journey. He asked, at the end of his article, that we consider how we can deepen our relationship with Jesus and grow in faith.

I need to spend time on that question this week. Maybe you do too? Then perhaps it will begin with the faith of the mustard seed, and over time, grow into a strong and sturdy conviction and confidence.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: One of the memorials in Portugal where the Angel of Fatima, or the Angel of Peace, visited the shepherd children preparing them for their spiritual mission and teaching them prayers.

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.

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Visionary faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I met with a Catholic counselor/coach this past month to explore a prayer technique I was interested in learning more about and discuss experiences I had during a recent retreat. One of the most helpful aspects of the meetings was a recommendation to explore a couple of personal assessments and then meet again if interested to discuss them. One of the assessments explored life experiences, or achievements, and what they reveal about the truest expression of ourselves. The summary stated that we change over time but “What remains constant are the God-given motivations that fuel your decisions and behavior.” This reminded me of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, that I have written about in previous blogs. The Spiritual Exercises help us name desires and motivations and in doing so, discover ways that we can serve God, in our own unique and personal way, and lead us toward God’s deepening life within us.

The assessment summary provides a person’s top 5 motivations and top motivational dimension. My top motivational dimension was Visionary. Each of the motivations and this top motivational dimension make perfect sense and I can see why I am drawn to certain activities and relationships in life and why they fill me up or make me feel purposeful and alive. I think it will be helpful as I continue to discern what’s ahead for me in life.

As I thought about the dimension of Visionary, someone who loves to envision possibilities and ideas and find practical ways to bring them to life or to inspire others to bring things to being in their lives, I thought about life with God and visionary faith. To be a Catholic Christian in today’s world requires visionary faith. While this was not what the assessment was talking about, I reflected that to live and share our faith with others requires a visionary approach. We live with a faith that hopes in the promises of God, that looks beyond what we see in our current reality, and looks to the spiritual realities to direct and guide our choices. When we look to those in scripture that heard and acted on God’s voice and guidance, they hoped in a life beyond current circumstances, they lived and acted, on God’s promises. With visionary faith we are able to move forward in life based on hope not fear.

But we are called to live differently as a result of our faith. Pope Leo XIV challenged us in today’s Angelus message saying that God doesn’t want a church full of those who only offer prayers and sacrifices. He says that our faith should lead us to practicing justice and loving our brothers and sisters in this world. Pope Leo went on to say that it isn’t an easy path, that our choices in life may be unpopular, that we must fight “against our selfishness, giving ourselves for the sake of others, and persevering in doing good even when the logic of evil seems to prevail.” That is visionary faith!

So, let us choose this “narrow path” (today’s Gospel, Luke 13:22-30), believing in the life that Jesus invited us to, discerning God’s will in our lives, and acting with courage and hope in pursuit of a joy that comes from living more deeply in God’s love.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: I selected this image of St. Bartholomew and St. Lawrence from the Museo de San Marco in Florence, Italy, because today, August 24, is the Feast Day of St. Bartholomew. St. Bartholomew was one of the 12 Apostles and was recognized by Jesus for his pure heart and acknowledgement of Jesus as the promised one of God.

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Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.

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Before the bloom

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, nurturing growth, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting3 Comments

This week I happened upon an article about pruning lantana plants. I have a few plants in pots and didn’t realize to get the most proficient blooms that it is best to prune them when the weather is hot and sunny, then as things begin to cool down you stop pruning. So, I will have to see, with warm days still in the forecast, if I can revive them a bit.

As a result I began reflecting on my Savannah Grass blooms. It’s a lovely grass that my friend Kathy introduced me to three or four years ago. I learned after the first year, one plant in front of the house and one on the patio in back, that they prefer a longer day of sunlight. So the past couple of years, and this, I have had two plants on the patio that has a full day of sun exposure. They produce a lovely, delicate, pink plume that gently sways in the breeze like the one we have this Sunday morning. The cats actually love a piece of the grass each morning, they sit and wait for me, not so patiently, to find the perfect blade for them. As you see in the blog photo for today, one of my plants has produced the anticipated blooms but one has not.

I began reflecting on why one plant produced plumes and the other didn’t. I water them at the same time and the same amount. I feed them on the same days. They are only seven feet apart and get the same amount of sunlight. Then I remembered that after buying the plants, both started from seed at the same nursery, that I repotted one in a larger ceramic pot with new potting soil, and the other I left in the large container from the nursery and just dropped it inside a very tall ceramic pot. The first year I bought that particular pot I filled it with soil (a lot of soil!) which made it difficult to move. The next year I emptied it, filled with bricks so that my Savannah grass can sit nicely on top the bricks inside the pot and cascade over the sides. The difference it seems is the soil that I planted, or did not plant, each of the grasses in.

As I reflected on my plant situation I recalled a recent Gospel reading, Matthew 13: 24-30, regarding the Kingdom of heaven being likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While I don’t have any weeds, like the parable, my plant didn’t produce the desired blooms.

If you aren’t seeing the desired “blooms” in your life, or desired fruit, using another Gospel and garden analogy, I invite you to reflect with me on the following questions. I would like to continue with my garden metaphor and ponder whether I have been seeing the fruits of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, gentleness, patience, etc.

Has your “soil” been properly prepared so that you are seeing these fruits? If not, or if in some way someone or something was detrimental to that growth, what can you do to amend the soil? Are you watering your plants each day with prayerful reflection? Are you nourishing the soil with the support of a faith community? Are you watching for “weeds” or other harmful influences, that might choke growth and inspired living? Are you monitoring your growth or just hoping for the best?

As we enjoy these final weeks of summer, I hope you will use the opportunity to look at your flowers or gardens as an inspiration for your life, supporting and sustaining each day just as we would our precious plants.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

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Behold a great light

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Pope Leo XIV, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

Earlier this week our skies were filled with haze from the Canadian wildfires. On Thursday the air quality index in Chicago (an hour and a half from my home) was 174, the worst of any major city in the world. Even in our area, Alexa reminded me of the poor air quality, and at times, I could smell the smoke. As I was driving later that afternoon I captured the image for today’s blog (I parked of course!). It reminded me of a time, living in Royal Oak Michigan, that I was contemplating the light within each of us, an ever-present flame that burns and is alive, no matter what is going on in life. I will never forget it, one of those special epiphany moments walking, seeing the clouds part within, and sensing a presence of light and joy.

It’s hard, at times, to see that light if one is even a little aware of the news and the great tragedies in the world of war, hunger and suffering, greed and a focus on power above justice and truth. But I have been uplifted by the scenes from Rome and the Jubilee of Youth. An estimated million youth have been attending the Jubilee at Tor Vergata. Even Pope Leo XIV seems invigorated by the crowds of young people. Circus Maximus, an ancient Roman arena was transformed for the youth to make their confessions at 200 confession stations with priests speaking English, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Polish, German, Hungarian, Slovak, Korean, and Chinese. Thousands of pilgrims were able to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation in this place known for chariot races, gladiator fights and wild animal cruelty.

Pope Leo XIV reminded the youth of a truth we all seek, a burning question in each of our hearts, for truth and justice. He asked the pilgrims, and each of us, to reflect on our way of living in order to build a more humane world. In today’s homily, reflecting on the scriptures from Ecclesiastes and Luke’s Gospel, Pope Leo encouraged the youth to listen to Jesus knocking at the window of our souls and look beyond the world and nature that is fleeting and passes away. “‘This is why,” he said, “we continually aspire to something ‘more’ that no created reality can give us; we feel a deep and burning thirst that no drink in this world can satisfy.'” He challenged us to not let our hearts be deceived by the things of this world but rather “fullness has to do with what we joyfully welcome and share.  “Buying, hoarding and consuming are not enough.  We need to lift our eyes, to look upwards, to the ‘things that are above…'”

I remain hopeful, even this week with disappointing encounters or heavy news to try to grapple with. I begin a new week with a desire to focus on the things that really matter and things that I can control. Just this Sunday morning, artist Kreg Yingst of PsalmPrayers (his amazing work in on Facebook, Instagram and Etsy) responded to a comment I made on a new series he will be sharing with us by saying “it’s a drop in the ocean, but it’s my drop. I come to Christ in ‘my anger and powerlessness.'” Each of our individual drops make a difference, we each have the ability to have a positive impact and cast a ripple that might spread love and hope to those around us. Let that be our goal this week!

Isaiah 9: The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who lived in a land of gloom a light has shone.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: my photo of the hazy skies this week in Illinois.

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Pause and rest

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Some days writing is like turning on the kitchen faucet and the ideas, like water, pour forth easily. Other days it is like watching water boil, but I am ready for the tea right now! None of the ideas I had to share today were developing. I decided not to fight it. I am just tired.

I am weary from the news. As if this week’s National news wasn’t enough, today my heart is breaking for the families who sent their children to Camp Mystic in Texas and now will be planning funerals. I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief they are experiencing. They will be on my heart, and in my prayers, along with all the others experiencing the devastation from the flooding river.

I didn’t realize how changes around me, some personal and some broader, were impacting me until I made an effort this week to breathe a little deeper and slow down. I felt the weight of those changes and decided to honor them instead of ignoring them.

This morning I saw a quote by Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author and modern mystic who was murdered at Auschwitz in December of 1943, which said “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

I sighed and thought “Yes, just rest today. You don’t have to write or do anything else.” I was going to simply write and suggest we all rest and pause today.

But, I was also reminded of Pope Leo XIV’s prayer intentions for July on discernment and the prayer he wrote. Part of the prayer says: “I ask you for the grace to learn how to pause, to become aware of the way I act, of the feelings that dwell within me, and of the thoughts that overwhelm me which, so often, I fail to notice.”

Like Pope Leo (as stated further in the prayer), I long for the choices that bring joy and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

So, today I pause and rest. I will make some tea, slowly, not rushing the water as it boils. I will enjoy the flowers that seem to be as relieved as I am from the intense sun and heat and are just radiant under the cloudy skies. Perhaps you will be able to take some time to rest today too.

As I researched the quote shared above by Etty Hillesum, to make sure I was sharing her words accurately, I saw another. I offer it to you today too.

“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today, Deena

Photo: Butters will be my muse for rest today. He is an expert!