Category: mindfulness

Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

Pause and rest

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Some days writing is like turning on the kitchen faucet and the ideas, like water, pour forth easily. Other days it is like watching water boil, but I am ready for the tea right now! None of the ideas I had to share today were developing. I decided not to fight it. I am just tired.

I am weary from the news. As if this week’s National news wasn’t enough, today my heart is breaking for the families who sent their children to Camp Mystic in Texas and now will be planning funerals. I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief they are experiencing. They will be on my heart, and in my prayers, along with all the others experiencing the devastation from the flooding river.

I didn’t realize how changes around me, some personal and some broader, were impacting me until I made an effort this week to breathe a little deeper and slow down. I felt the weight of those changes and decided to honor them instead of ignoring them.

This morning I saw a quote by Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author and modern mystic who was murdered at Auschwitz in December of 1943, which said “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

I sighed and thought “Yes, just rest today. You don’t have to write or do anything else.” I was going to simply write and suggest we all rest and pause today.

But, I was also reminded of Pope Leo XIV’s prayer intentions for July on discernment and the prayer he wrote. Part of the prayer says: “I ask you for the grace to learn how to pause, to become aware of the way I act, of the feelings that dwell within me, and of the thoughts that overwhelm me which, so often, I fail to notice.”

Like Pope Leo (as stated further in the prayer), I long for the choices that bring joy and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

So, today I pause and rest. I will make some tea, slowly, not rushing the water as it boils. I will enjoy the flowers that seem to be as relieved as I am from the intense sun and heat and are just radiant under the cloudy skies. Perhaps you will be able to take some time to rest today too.

As I researched the quote shared above by Etty Hillesum, to make sure I was sharing her words accurately, I saw another. I offer it to you today too.

“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today, Deena

Photo: Butters will be my muse for rest today. He is an expert!

Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena

Cultivating beauty

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, la dolce vita, Lenten journey, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

On March 24, for the Third Week of Lent, I read the following quote by Joan Chittister, in her Reflection Resource, Cry Justice, Cry Hope, and I began implementing the practice of being, or at least attempting, to be more aware of beauty around me, with a strong desire to cultivate it more within me.

The purpose of life is to cultivate the sacred in ourselves so that we can come to know God before we see God. Goethe puts it this way: “A person should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful that God has implanted in the human soul. ” This week, follow Goethe’s advice. Every day this week, list one way that you tried to “cultivate beauty in the human soul. ” In your own life … in your neighborhood … in the world.

––from Cry Justice, Cry Hope by Joan Chittister

I think that is why I love having a garden, keeping fresh flowers on my kitchen counter each week, like the daisies in my blog photo, or creating little vignettes of objects in my home. Looking at something beautiful uplifts and inspires me. It does as Sr. Joan suggests, help me see God in the world around me. After reading Sr. Joan’s quote, I want to raise my awareness of the beauty I see around me in the world. I want to make a conscious effort of cultivating beauty in my life so that I might create more beauty in the world. It’s going to be a work in progress for sure!

This weekend I was blessed to be a participant, virtually, in a retreat being given by my friend, author Judith Valente for the Associates of the Sisters of Charity of Nazareth in Kentucky. The presentations by Judith and by Brother Paul Quenon, her friend, co-author of books and a Trappist monk at the Abbey of Gethsemani, were wonderful but perhaps my favorite was Judith’s talk on Saturday evening, “What can we learn from Italians this Lent about living more mindfully”. So many of the practices, la dolce vita (living the sweet life), that Judith discussed are practices I grew up with or still make part of my life. Sunday meals at my Italian grandmother’s home while growing up, the art of sitting and engaging in conversation over coffee, as well as visiting our family cemetery plots to clean up and remember our beloved deceased.

My return to Italy in the Fall of 2023 rekindled a passion for living and savoring the good life. My friend Kelly’s visit to Italy this past week, and pictures she shared of a family dinner gathering, reminded me of the graces of sitting down together for aperitivo, good food, wine and conversation. I tend to rush through dinner, if I even make it, instead of savoring the slowing down of the day before the quiet time of evening.

As a note, you will be able to read more of Judith’s reflections on life in Italy in her new book, The Italian Soul: How to Savor the Full Joys of Life, which will be released on May 5. (Click on the link to preorder it.) Judith’s book will help us learn to look more deeply for beauty in life and experience the grace of the present moment, the life we are living. It is not only an Italian way of life, but a spiritual lifestyle. It is the same awareness that Goethe and Sr. Joan Chittister are encouraging us to have.

So this week, I invite you to look for and instill more beauty in your life, just as Sr. Joan and Judith have excited in me a desire to look for more awe-inspiring moments in the everyday. Look for, and pause to savor, these moments when you encounter them. Create them in your daily living and the way you express yourself in the world, with your family and in your home.

In a previous blog post I mentioned a new practice of keeping an ongoing list of my daily gratitude, tracking the sequential numbers versus jotting down three new entries each day. To this practice I have added an area to reflect on beauty that crossed my path each day. Besides my daily spiritual and creative reflections, I write in my daily Examen journal the consolations or graces and desolations each day. Before those movements of the Spirit, I note my reflections of gratitude and beauty. I have included a sample of today’s page, in this blog post, before writing in it later today. Try it and let me know what you think.

Wishing you abundant peace and this week, la dolce vita! Deena

My daily Examen journal image:

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Keep careful watch

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Preparing for Lent, sacred listening, Seeing things in a new way, Spiritual Journey, spirituality2 Comments

A week ago I saw a beautiful painting of Bishop Mariann Budde, shared by Fr. James Martin SJ, painted by Fr. William Hart McNichols. The post shared how Fr. McNichols came to know of Bishop Budde and then his reason for painting the image after the January Prayer Breakfast. It’s entitled “Holy Living Prophet Bishop Mariann” and it is lovely! If you follow Fr. Martin on social media you can see it there or visit Fr. McNichols’ website to view this painting and his other artwork. My reason for mentioning it was the first comment that appeared as I read the post by Fr. Martin. Besides spending much less time on social media since January, I have been staying away from the comment section on any post. But sometimes Facebook decides that I need to see it below the post. Even the most mundane posts seem to give someone an audience to be rude and disrespectful. The comment said “surely Fr. you recognize she is not a valid Bishop” and that she and her congregation are not in communion with the “true church”. Wow. I’ve been trying to give the gentleman the benefit of the doubt regarding his comment, viewing religion from the perspective of his (I assume) Roman Catholic affiliation. But it actually got me thinking about how we view things in life.

If I only knew seasons from a life lived in the Southeast or the West coast, I would never know the ever changing, mostly beautiful and somewhat fickle, seasons of the Midwest. If I grew up in a Latino household, I would have experienced delicious food made with spicy chili peppers, but perhaps would never have experienced the aroma of pasta with herbs, olive oil and freshly grated cheese. My experience wouldn’t be wrong, it would just be shaped by my familiarity with the seasons or food I have been exposed to. It should not diminish the experience someone else has had.

Stick with me on this. I am by no means saying because I am not aware of (or choose not to be aware of) a different opinion that makes my view acceptable. I am also not saying “if it feels right to you” then it’s ok. Choices and decisions are so much more complex than that. But I am saying that just because I see something from my world view, then it does not mean that everything and everybody else is wrong. Making an assumption like that might take research, discernment or guidance from someone who knows and understands the differences better than I do.

This past week, the first reading at daily Mass, or as you read them at home, was from the book of Sirach. This book of Wisdom advises us where to place our faith and hope, what things in life really matter and how we can trust in God, even during times of difficulty. The first reading for this weekend, Eighth Sunday in Ordinary Time, was also from Sirach, and will be on Monday and Tuesday until we enter the season of Lent. The reading from Sirach 27: 4-7 grabbed my attention and has not let go.

“When a sieve is shaken, the husks appear; so do one’s faults when one speaks. As the test of what the potter molds is in the furnace, so in tribulation is the test of the just. The fruit of a tree shows the care it has had; so too does one’s speech disclose the bent of one’s mind. Praise no one before he speaks, for it is then that people are tested.”

Besides feeling the political embarrassment of the behavior in the White House on Friday, I have had a couple of other occasions this week that allowed me to watch others in a personal and broader landscape. Cliches like these seem true; “only time will tell”, “time reveals a persons true colors” or as in the gospel for today, “every tree is known by its own fruit.” (Luke 6: 39-45). There’s no room for judgement, at least by me, but watching and waiting to see an outcome or behavior can be helpful. It takes patience and it takes a decision on how to act or respond as it unfolds.

As I prepare for Lent this week and consider what I will do, or in some cases “give up”, I turn to the Rule of St. Benedict again this year. There is so much wisdom in The Rule for me, as a Benedictine Oblate, as I look at the areas of my life that need refinement, molding and reformation. The chapters on The Tools for Good Works and Humility are my favorite each year. I could try to live each Lent with the goal of practicing “your way of acting should be different from the world’s way” or “keep careful watch over all you do” and be challenged enough during these next 40 days. Then there is always the call to make more time for “holy reading” and prayer, which has been easier now not watching the news or TV. But I can do more! Lastly, Benedict’s guidance on moderation in speech, esteem for silence and listening remind me that I desire to make sure that the speech I use and the conversations I engage in reflect the desires of my heart. Will I fail? Absolutely. But giving more attention to my internal and external dialogue might bring about the more lasting change after Lent that I desire.

I invite you, if you are considering participating in Lenten observances of fasting, prayer and almsgiving, to reflect on the words I shared above from Sirach. Pick up a Bible and read segments of the book to reflect on for Lent and see what the Spirit might be calling you to consider this Lent. You might also consider joining me for my Lenten Night of Reflection on March 20 at 6:30 p.m. CT. I will have more information in the next week but have repeated my previous update below.

Wishing you abundant peace and a grace-filled and holy Lent, Deena

Reminder: A Lent Night of Reflection entitled “Make My Heart Like Your Heart: Encounter and Change of Heart” will be held on Thursday, March 20 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Central Time. The suggested donation for the event is $19. I continue to think about the best registration process for this first offering but it might be as simple as a PayPal or Venmo payment. During the event we will reflect on the things in the world that consume our heart and attention, our need and desire to give and receive forgiveness, and ways that we can pour out our love to God in a personal and sincere way. I am excited to offer this and I hope you will be able to join me. Thank you to those who have let me know you are interested! For now, you can email me, private message me if you are interested.

Blog image: A scenic window view in Santarem, Portugal

Retreat Image:

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Simple Joy

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

On Friday as I was preparing to drive back home after a doctor appointment, I remembered that the Chicago Cubs Spring Training game was about to begin. I opened the sports app on my phone and clicked on the game. I was immediately treated to images of sunshine, short sleeves, people enjoying the day on the outfield grass areas and players warming up on the field. Then I heard the voices of the announcers, it was like hearing the voice of a friend that you haven’t talked to in a long time. As I drove home and listened to the game, I was filled with a lightness and feeling of normalcy that I haven’t felt in a long time. For a few hours, the world disappeared in the background.

Earlier in the week I opened an email from National Geographic with a stunning photo of a young student in India running down a steamy railroad track in the Ghum station of the Darjeeling Himalayan Railway. The writer/photographer (Sara Hylton) was writing of this experience in India. She has been living there, escaping life in the West after the death of her father. In that instant the figure caught her attention and she captured the photo of the young boy. She stated that her journey of grief, and daily activities in India, transformed her. She learned that “it’s that what comes next will bring its own magic. New colors, more light, waiting to be revealed.”

Fortunately, as of 5 a.m. this morning, Pope Francis was reported to have had a “peaceful ninth night” in the Gemelli Hospital in Rome. The news of his illness has been of a great concern to me, my friends and the world. Pope Francis is a pervasive voice of hope, love, peace and care for the world, especially those in need. We need his voice now more than ever. I worry for his health and well-being, but for the world if we lose this great shepherd.

The news with the disturbing images of chainsaws and gloating posts of migrants detained in chains with the comment “this will make you feel good” can send me over the edge. How can this possibly make anyone feel good? As mentioned last week, I have been staying away from the news. But even in an attempt to find and share something positive on social media, the glaring images overwhelm the page, resulting in less time spent there as well. As a result, life has become more quiet and peaceful each evening in my home. I enjoy the silence for reading and reflection. I even began a jigsaw puzzle! Although I can’t say that that has been a stress free experience! My friend, Cindy, assures me I will develop a process and rhythm to putting puzzles together. I will focus on that bit of encouragement.

So, where do we find relief? I suggest in the simple joys of watching the sunrise or sunset, with each sunset getting later and later each day. I dream of my plants that will begin to emerge with warmer days. My heartbeat calms watching the total bliss and carefree spirit of a sleeping cat. I look forward to meeting with a friend to discuss her plans for her trip to Italy (and potentially my own). I began reorganizing kitchen cabinets this week. I may not be able to control the chaos in the world but I can create order in the small details of my life and home. As St. Teresa of Avila is quoted as saying “The Lord walks among the pots and pans”.

In this book, The Joy of Discipleship, Pope Francis, says “Dear friends, be glad! Do not be afraid of being joyful! Don’t be afraid of joy….” Speaking of the joy that comes from closeness to God, from God’s presence in our lives, he encourages us not to be afraid of this joy and share it with others. I believe that joy comes to us in plain and uncomplicated ways if we are open to seeing it.

I invite you to consider the simple ways that you can find joy and peace each day. They may be things that you are doing every day. Linger in them just a moment longer. Notice and be present to them offering a word of gratitude for them. I am convinced that in doing so, we will see and experience moments such as these even more.

Wishing you abundant joy and peace, Deena

Reminder: A Lent Night of Reflection entitled “Make My Heart Like Your Heart: Encounter and Change of Heart” will be held on Thursday, March 20 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. Central Time. The suggested donation for the event is $19. I continue to think about the best registration process for this first offering but it might be as simple as a PayPal or Venmo payment. During the event we will reflect on the things in the world that consume our heart and attention, our need and desire to give and receive forgiveness, and ways that we can pour out our love to God in a personal and sincere way. I am excited to offer this and I hope you will be able to join me. Thank you to those who have let me know you are interested! For now, you can email me, private message me or add a comment to this post on my website adding “Retreat” to the beginning of your comment and I won’t approve (or will hide) that comment to be shown on the website.

Confusing times

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, surrender, surrender novenaLeave a comment

Christmas in July for sales and TV Hallmark movies, Halloween in September and then Christmas sales bulldoze over Thanksgiving. I haven’t decorated for Christmas yet. Actually Thanksgiving decor, now that Halloween has been taken down, to mix in with other Fall items, are still in the tub on the floor. That’s a task for Monday. But I opened an email this weekend from a crafting company I follow to find a sale on Valentine’s Day stamps and paper. I understand that companies want us to have what we need when we are ready to mentally prepare for, shop or decorate, and begin planning for a holiday. When I was more active with my stamping business I knew you had to order new items early so that you could share them with others, so they had time to order and use them. I get it!

Yesterday my friend, Kathy, and I took a drive to check out a bakery I have wanted to visit (the seasonal task of finding the perfect Potica has begun!) and then visited a nursery and another local shop to browse Christmas decorations. I am not ready to put decorations up until after Thanksgiving but I love getting ideas and smelling the smells of greens, candles and coffee. I can get excited just like, maybe even more, than the next person!

But Valentine’s Day before we even reach December 1. I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous!

We are also in a confusing time of transition with the government. Half of our country voted for change, a few dollars in the wallet, but at what cost? I am concerned that we have lost a deep respect for the dignity and rights of all people and for our constitution. Will we really see a protection of the lives of the unborn as promised but only to exclude the protection of those seeking safety, a better future for themselves and their families? I don’t know the answers. I do know I can’t watch the news to find out, it’s too disturbing to my inner peace. Instead I pray and hope. As a Benedictine Oblate, I keep the words of St. Benedict close to my heart and strive to welcome Christ in all others, regardless of our differences and opinions.

Personally I am in a season of change and transition too, leaving a ministry team I was part of for the past three years. What lies ahead? I’m not sure. I’m excited but if I get too far ahead of myself, like Valentine’s Day in November, I get stressed out. To prepare myself, I began praying a Surrender Novena last week, so that I could end it on the transition day, November 19, from this life to the next, of Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo, the author of the novena. It reminds me daily that we worry about things we can’t control, we allow ourselves to get agitated and fret, focused on the transitory aspects of life. Of course we do what we can do with what we have, we live our lives as best we can. But, the way to peace is to surrender and trust in God.

This weekend, the week before the Solemnity of Christ the King, and two weeks from the First Sunday of Advent, beginning a new liturgical year, we are reminded that none of this lasts. Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Mark 13: 24-32) So we live in the world but are not of it. We enjoy the blessings we have been given and the beauty of this earth, realizing that none of it really belongs of us. If I don’t wake up tomorrow, all that I have will not change that. None of it goes with me. We use our gifts and talents so that we have more joy, discover and fulfill the purpose we have been given, but we use those gifts knowing we are meant to serve with them, to serve God and to serve others. These final Sundays of the liturgical year remind us to be watchful and alert, and to put our attention on the things that last.

As we move through the rest of November I invite us all to be aware of the gifts we have been given, the blessings of good friends and family. Celebrate those at Thanksgiving! Then enter into the Advent season, quietly preparing your heart to recall the gift of the Incarnation, God becoming one with us. Try to find moments to pause and reflect on scripture or Advent chants and carols. It truly makes the celebration of Christmas and the New Year, the Solemnity of Mary, more meaningful and joyful.

Take it slow, one day at a time, breathe and pause to give thanks, or ask for the grace to remain calm, despite all the preparations and crazy pace of the season. The simple act of giving thanks each evening, whether in a journal or as part of your evening prayer, heightens your awareness of the gift that life is and the people who walk with you through it. Let us be intentional as we move through these remaining day of 2024 about being at peace, enjoying each day we have been given and celebrating all we have. Things will never be perfect in our lives or in the world, so let us turn back to God, like the healed leper that returned to Jesus to give praise and thanks, knowing that it is all gift anyway.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Enjoy a moment of calm with a natural fountain at the Nicholas Conservatory and Gardens. Let it be a reminder to “go with the flow”.

Despair can turn to hope

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey2 Comments

During my mother’s hospital stay, after falling and needing neck/spinal cord surgery then rehab, she mentioned a lump on her neck which the biopsy indicated was cancer. We left the hospital on Saturday with an appointment to meet with a doctor and discuss cancer treatment the following Monday. I was so fortunate that I worked from home and for two amazing women, Brigid and Trish, who understood that sometimes I would be working from the cancer center and that there might be interruptions during the day to care for my mom. I couldn’t have had a better situation at that time, the flexibility so helpful for her two-year battle and the care it required.

After she died I was in a deep despair. I went through the motions of work and the holidays. My mother lived with me, so everything in this house reminded me of her. I would get up from my desk and look toward her chair or the dining room table, as if still checking on her to see how she was doing.

The following January we had an organizational change at work and I was asked to meet with the new director of our department and discuss a supervisor role for the support team for our department that were working in a local customer service center. I met with him, instantly liked him, and he asked me to consider the job. I said that I enjoyed working from home, being productive in the quiet of my home office versus constant activity of a customer service center and asked whether it would be possible for me to work at 2-3 days from home and visit the center and the team the other days. He said yes and we agreed that I would begin the new role. The Friday before I was to begin he called to say that he thought about it and felt that my presence with the team would be required 5 days a week. I was so disappointed and thought about quitting but convinced myself to give it a try. It was exactly what I needed but it took me a few months to see it. Being somewhere else, outside of my house, forced me into new rhythms and being with others. The job gave me a team to care about and make changes that the organization wanted. I had tasks to focus on. I had to trust that life was going to be ok for me again. I had to turn to hope as the way out of my pain.

I read a beautiful post this week by poet and author, David Whyte, (from his book Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words) who describes despair as a haven, a last protection, “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation in the world take a rest; it is a loss of horizon, it is the place we go when we do not want to be found in the same way anymore.”

He goes on to say that the “antidote to despair is not to be found in the brave attempt to cheer ourselves up with happy abstracts, but in paying a profound and courageous attention to the body and the breath, independent of our imprisoning thoughts and stories, even, in paying attention to despair itself, and the way we hold it, and which we realize, was never ours to own and to hold in the first place.”

If you are feeling despair for any reason this week, please honor that within your spirit. Take the time you need to honor the healing that is required. Don’t run from it. Don’t brush away the feelings as if they don’t exist. Breathe and find ways to honor your body, your spirit and what you need to feel energized again. When you are ready, find activities that nourish your spirit. Be with like-minded people. Ignore negativity as best you can. Realize that true healing only occurs by going through and not around the source of the wound or hurt. Move forward with compassion and curiosity.

Then when you are ready offer the light you are to others. Be a source of hope. We need it now more than ever!

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Butters in his happy place. If you have one, watch your cat or dog, they embody resilience!

Daily fidelity and sincerity

On By dpavinatoIn Benedictine Oblate, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, Spiritual JourneyLeave a comment

I think I have mentioned it before, but I love to watch sports! Baseball, football, basketball, tennis, and, this summer, soccer was added to the list as I watched the women’s USA team compete in the Olympics. I grew up watching sports in our family home. So, I was delighted this week when Caitlin Clark was named Rookie of the Year for the Women’s National Basketball League. Caitlin shattered records when she played for the University of Iowa and it seems her professional career is on the same trajectory. I admired her grace in defeat during college playoffs. In this case it feels like the “good guy” (gal) wins!

I enjoy the stories of endless hours of practice and honing skills in the sport. The players, regardless of the sport, share their determination to improve, in order to be great at the game. I heard a broadcaster say, during last night’s LA Dodger game, that Shohei Ohtani is really seeing the ball, he is zoned in, so to speak, so is batting very well. Ohtani is a pitcher, and the Dodgers designated hitter, in a time that pitchers no longer bat during baseball games, and has second highest number of home runs in Major League Baseball.

I believe that prayer, and our lives of faith, are the same way. We can’t hope to become mystics and great contemplatives overnight, if at all! Any habit that we want to incorporate into our lives takes daily focus and attention. We can’t give up when it’s hard or when it doesn’t feel like it’s working. I told someone this week that the “endgame” for me was to feel that every day was walking on sacred ground, to feel connection and union, to see life as holy. All of it, messy and serene. I have muddied the waters by having big expectations of the outcome or the way it was supposed to feel. Now I simply want union – God talks, I listen as best as I can, I talk and God always listens. The daily fidelity to that practice, just like any relationship, brings about the change. Over time we become more focused on our union with God, we get zoned in.

In her book, Ordinary Mysticism, Mirabai Starr, says that our intention to walk the mystical path is being open and willing to see the sacred in the everything and everyone around us. Contemporary mystic, James Finley, says our only intention, in the spiritual life, is that union. He says that our prayer, our union, is a thread between us and God. The thread will break many times, on our end, as we get pulled away by the distractions of life, but it never breaks on God’s end.

Yesterday morning I stood on the patio with the cats and watched a flock of geese in perfect formation. I’ve seen geese flying hundreds of times but yesterday I was reminded of the perfection in creation, that the geese know how and when to fly, that they trust the divine timing of nature. They aren’t worried about who is in front, or whether there are reservations or food when they get to their destination. Perhaps they don’t even know the destination! The moment was holy, I was standing on sacred ground. I want endless moments of seeing life that way.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Photo: Another holy moment during a trip to Anderson Japanese Gardens in Rockford, IL