Category: Seeing things in a new way

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.

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Visionary faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I met with a Catholic counselor/coach this past month to explore a prayer technique I was interested in learning more about and discuss experiences I had during a recent retreat. One of the most helpful aspects of the meetings was a recommendation to explore a couple of personal assessments and then meet again if interested to discuss them. One of the assessments explored life experiences, or achievements, and what they reveal about the truest expression of ourselves. The summary stated that we change over time but “What remains constant are the God-given motivations that fuel your decisions and behavior.” This reminded me of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, that I have written about in previous blogs. The Spiritual Exercises help us name desires and motivations and in doing so, discover ways that we can serve God, in our own unique and personal way, and lead us toward God’s deepening life within us.

The assessment summary provides a person’s top 5 motivations and top motivational dimension. My top motivational dimension was Visionary. Each of the motivations and this top motivational dimension make perfect sense and I can see why I am drawn to certain activities and relationships in life and why they fill me up or make me feel purposeful and alive. I think it will be helpful as I continue to discern what’s ahead for me in life.

As I thought about the dimension of Visionary, someone who loves to envision possibilities and ideas and find practical ways to bring them to life or to inspire others to bring things to being in their lives, I thought about life with God and visionary faith. To be a Catholic Christian in today’s world requires visionary faith. While this was not what the assessment was talking about, I reflected that to live and share our faith with others requires a visionary approach. We live with a faith that hopes in the promises of God, that looks beyond what we see in our current reality, and looks to the spiritual realities to direct and guide our choices. When we look to those in scripture that heard and acted on God’s voice and guidance, they hoped in a life beyond current circumstances, they lived and acted, on God’s promises. With visionary faith we are able to move forward in life based on hope not fear.

But we are called to live differently as a result of our faith. Pope Leo XIV challenged us in today’s Angelus message saying that God doesn’t want a church full of those who only offer prayers and sacrifices. He says that our faith should lead us to practicing justice and loving our brothers and sisters in this world. Pope Leo went on to say that it isn’t an easy path, that our choices in life may be unpopular, that we must fight “against our selfishness, giving ourselves for the sake of others, and persevering in doing good even when the logic of evil seems to prevail.” That is visionary faith!

So, let us choose this “narrow path” (today’s Gospel, Luke 13:22-30), believing in the life that Jesus invited us to, discerning God’s will in our lives, and acting with courage and hope in pursuit of a joy that comes from living more deeply in God’s love.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: I selected this image of St. Bartholomew and St. Lawrence from the Museo de San Marco in Florence, Italy, because today, August 24, is the Feast Day of St. Bartholomew. St. Bartholomew was one of the 12 Apostles and was recognized by Jesus for his pure heart and acknowledgement of Jesus as the promised one of God.

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Before the bloom

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, nurturing growth, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting3 Comments

This week I happened upon an article about pruning lantana plants. I have a few plants in pots and didn’t realize to get the most proficient blooms that it is best to prune them when the weather is hot and sunny, then as things begin to cool down you stop pruning. So, I will have to see, with warm days still in the forecast, if I can revive them a bit.

As a result I began reflecting on my Savannah Grass blooms. It’s a lovely grass that my friend Kathy introduced me to three or four years ago. I learned after the first year, one plant in front of the house and one on the patio in back, that they prefer a longer day of sunlight. So the past couple of years, and this, I have had two plants on the patio that has a full day of sun exposure. They produce a lovely, delicate, pink plume that gently sways in the breeze like the one we have this Sunday morning. The cats actually love a piece of the grass each morning, they sit and wait for me, not so patiently, to find the perfect blade for them. As you see in the blog photo for today, one of my plants has produced the anticipated blooms but one has not.

I began reflecting on why one plant produced plumes and the other didn’t. I water them at the same time and the same amount. I feed them on the same days. They are only seven feet apart and get the same amount of sunlight. Then I remembered that after buying the plants, both started from seed at the same nursery, that I repotted one in a larger ceramic pot with new potting soil, and the other I left in the large container from the nursery and just dropped it inside a very tall ceramic pot. The first year I bought that particular pot I filled it with soil (a lot of soil!) which made it difficult to move. The next year I emptied it, filled with bricks so that my Savannah grass can sit nicely on top the bricks inside the pot and cascade over the sides. The difference it seems is the soil that I planted, or did not plant, each of the grasses in.

As I reflected on my plant situation I recalled a recent Gospel reading, Matthew 13: 24-30, regarding the Kingdom of heaven being likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While I don’t have any weeds, like the parable, my plant didn’t produce the desired blooms.

If you aren’t seeing the desired “blooms” in your life, or desired fruit, using another Gospel and garden analogy, I invite you to reflect with me on the following questions. I would like to continue with my garden metaphor and ponder whether I have been seeing the fruits of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, gentleness, patience, etc.

Has your “soil” been properly prepared so that you are seeing these fruits? If not, or if in some way someone or something was detrimental to that growth, what can you do to amend the soil? Are you watering your plants each day with prayerful reflection? Are you nourishing the soil with the support of a faith community? Are you watching for “weeds” or other harmful influences, that might choke growth and inspired living? Are you monitoring your growth or just hoping for the best?

As we enjoy these final weeks of summer, I hope you will use the opportunity to look at your flowers or gardens as an inspiration for your life, supporting and sustaining each day just as we would our precious plants.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

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Pulling out all the stops

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Last week I mentioned that I enjoy watching YouTube videos for entertainment, instruction and reflection. I shared that I enjoy watching Paul Fey and his playing the great organs around the world. If you use technology you know that the algorithms see what you watch and then show more of that type of content to your feed in the way of posts or ads. Sometimes it’s helpful and sometimes it is just plain annoying.

The other night I opened YouTube to watch a video and saw an organ short titled “Pulling out all the stops”. I laughed out loud, not realizing the source of that idiom. I watched as the organist pulled out all the knobs on the side of the organ and how the sound of the organ changed and amplified.

My post photo today is our organ at Holy Family Church. You will see the stops on the side, we have about 30 or so stop knobs on our beautiful organ. On the large organ at Holy Name Cathedral in Chicago, built by Flentrop Orgelbouw, (image from my recent visit to Holy Name pasted at the bottom of this blog) there are 71 stops and 5,558 pipes. The stops are the primary way that an organist controls and shapes the sound that is produced by the organ. They produce the pitch and tone of the sound and allows the air to flow through the pipes on the organ.

The use of the phrase, “pulling out all the stops”, suggests that we are going to do everything in our power to make something happen or to succeed. I paused to think about this with regard to our faith life. What if we pulled out all the stops in our daily prayer and living of the Gospel message? What if I lived “full out” in my belief that I am a beloved daughter of the Father and a disciple and friend of Christ? Am I living my life in a world of “just okay” when God has something greater in store for me and my life? To use the organ analogy, by pulling out all the stops, can I get the loudest, fullest, deepest expression of what I am meant to be in life?

The Gospel message this weekend for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary time encourages us in persistent prayer. Jesus, in Luke’s version, assures us to be confident in our prayer, to be bold and persistent. In our Old Testament reading, Abraham is bold in convincing God to spare Sodom if there are at least 10 faithful individuals who remain in the city destined for destruction. Jesus guides us to approach God, as our loving Father, confident and trusting.

That’s what I want in my faith life! Deep, rich, vibrant spirituality lived with passion and confident trust that God knows all I need and desire to live my best life giving glory to him! Are you living in a world of “just okay” or are you willing to place your trust in God and pull out all the stops in living that faith?

Wishing you abundant peace, trust, and hope this week, Deena

The organ at Holy Name Cathedral from the nave, or main seating area, of the Cathedral.

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Still learning

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, lifelong learning, ongoing catechesis, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spiritualityLeave a comment

Did you know that a typical Jewish Torah scroll is 86 feet long? I didn’t! They are handwritten and if a mistake is made during the creation of the scroll it is discarded and process begun again.

This past week I went on a bus trip to three places of worship in Chicago – Holy Name Cathedral, the Chicago Loop Synagogue, and the Baha’i House of Worship in suburban Wilmette. It was a fascinating day and I loved learning new things about other faith traditions, as well as sharing some things about our Catholic faith and tradition at the Cathedral with those on the trip who pulled me aside to ask questions.

While we were at the synagogue I noticed a lamp burning above the Ark, where the Torah scrolls are kept, and asked about it because of the similarity to a sanctuary candle in every Catholic Church by the Tabernacle. The assistant director of the synagogue praised my question and acknowledged that the Ner Tamid, or Eternal Light, always burns above or near the Ark representing God’s eternal presence. In a Catholic Church we have the red sanctuary light burning at all times (except after Holy Thursday Mass until Easter Vigil because Jesus is no longer present in the Tabernacle) by the Tabernacle in the Church indicating the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.

I admit to being enthralled with studying and learning new things. When people ask what I am reading they might expect a current bestseller or fiction book but it is almost always a book on spirituality, self-improvement, or a biography of someone I admire. As a matter of fact I could probably stop buying books and still read new books for the next 5 years! I’ll catch up one of these days.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) encourages our study and ongoing learning. In Article 6 regarding Moral Conscience, the CCC tells us that it is the voice that calls us to love, do good and avoid evil. It guides us to behavior that we view as just and right for ourselves and those we encounter. But it goes on to say that our conscience must be informed and enlightened. We can’t expect that we learned everything that we need to act with an informed conscience, or to act in accord with the teachings of the Church, or whatever faith we practice, when we were instructed as young children. Education of our conscience is a lifelong and ongoing task, according to the Catechism.

Many of us, in Catholic and Protestant services, listened to the scripture of the Good Samaritan this weekend. Jesus teaches with this parable to encourage unconditional love and fair treatment to all regardless of our differences. An insightful Benedictine reflection that I read this Sunday morning reminded us that “we aren’t there yet. We need to keep re-tuning our ear and correcting our vision with the lens of charity, humility, and truth.” That is exactly the reason we continue to listen and be transformed by the Living Word of God (and hopefully by homilies and sermons that encourage the kind of behavior that Jesus challenges us to).

This desire for ongoing learning is the reason that I love the Wednesday Papal Audience and Angelus addresses given by our Popes. They are a brief catechesis on current topics of the day, how we should treat each other and live our lives. I want to keep my mind and heart open to seeing things a new way and changing those aspects of my thoughts and behavior that are not aligned with the heart of Christ.

Whether it is your faith life, or an area you desire to grow deeper in understanding and knowledge, keep learning! I offer these reminders for us to consider this week:

“I am still learning.” – Michelangelo (aged 87)

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.” – Albert Einstein

“Therefore we intend to establish a school for God’s service. In drawing up its regulations, we hope to set down nothing harsh, nothing burdensome…But as we progress in this way of life and in faith, we shall run on the path of God’s commandments, our hearts overflowing with the inexpressible delight of love.” – The Prologue of the Rule of St. Benedict

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Torah scrolls in the Ark at the Chicago Loop Synagogue

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Pause and rest

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Some days writing is like turning on the kitchen faucet and the ideas, like water, pour forth easily. Other days it is like watching water boil, but I am ready for the tea right now! None of the ideas I had to share today were developing. I decided not to fight it. I am just tired.

I am weary from the news. As if this week’s National news wasn’t enough, today my heart is breaking for the families who sent their children to Camp Mystic in Texas and now will be planning funerals. I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief they are experiencing. They will be on my heart, and in my prayers, along with all the others experiencing the devastation from the flooding river.

I didn’t realize how changes around me, some personal and some broader, were impacting me until I made an effort this week to breathe a little deeper and slow down. I felt the weight of those changes and decided to honor them instead of ignoring them.

This morning I saw a quote by Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author and modern mystic who was murdered at Auschwitz in December of 1943, which said “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

I sighed and thought “Yes, just rest today. You don’t have to write or do anything else.” I was going to simply write and suggest we all rest and pause today.

But, I was also reminded of Pope Leo XIV’s prayer intentions for July on discernment and the prayer he wrote. Part of the prayer says: “I ask you for the grace to learn how to pause, to become aware of the way I act, of the feelings that dwell within me, and of the thoughts that overwhelm me which, so often, I fail to notice.”

Like Pope Leo (as stated further in the prayer), I long for the choices that bring joy and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

So, today I pause and rest. I will make some tea, slowly, not rushing the water as it boils. I will enjoy the flowers that seem to be as relieved as I am from the intense sun and heat and are just radiant under the cloudy skies. Perhaps you will be able to take some time to rest today too.

As I researched the quote shared above by Etty Hillesum, to make sure I was sharing her words accurately, I saw another. I offer it to you today too.

“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today, Deena

Photo: Butters will be my muse for rest today. He is an expert!

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Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena

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Spirit that reveals

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, Holy Trinity, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our Lady of the Way, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journeyLeave a comment

On June 11 of this month, Sojourners Magazine reflected on the life and teachings of American Christian scholar and theologian, Walter Brueggemann. Brueggemann, who passed away on June 5, was a great teacher, and an influential interpreter, of the Bible and especially, the Old Testament and biblical prophets. His most influential work, The Prophetic Imagination, challenged us to see the world as God sees it and overcome the limitations of our present reality. In 1985, he wrote, for Sojourner, “The Spirit works through us, among us, and even against us. The Spirit in these days would indeed work against our hopelessness to let us hope.” A poignant message for us given the state of the world.

This Sunday, June 15, is the Solemnity of the Holy Trinity. We often try to give images and roles to the Trinity in an attempt to understand the inexplicable relationship of God in three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Brueggemann once wrote that the purpose of doxology, an expression of praise or liturgical praise, is to defy reasoning that tries to explain what God in the Trinity is. We can’t, so perhaps it’s better to just sing!

This week I have been praying with an 8-Day Retreat on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, presented by Our Lady of the Way Retreat Ministry. Day 6 focused on the Gift of Understanding. The prelude to the prayer states: “Understanding is one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit that enables believers to comprehend the truths of faith through both reason and divine revelation….With the gift of understanding, we can grasp divine mysteries of faith that surpass human reasoning.” That was a helpful reminder as I approached Trinity Sunday.

I can’t possibly grasp the concept of Trinity with my feeble human intellect. I can read, pray and contemplate the relationship between the “persons” of the Trinity but at some point I have to accept it on faith. I can also, reflecting on Bruegggemann’s statement above, hope to grow in understanding and allow the impact of the Trinity to reveal, guide and be at work in my life.

Give Us This Day published a reflection entitled “Sustained Attentiveness” by Brueggemann on Friday of this week, certainly planned far in advance of his passing. In it he wrote, talking about Jesus’ “radical interpretation” of the Torah, “finally he will say at the end of the chapter, “Be Perfect” – be whole – have integrity – be about one thing in your life. Be in sync with God. But such being in sync requires, as serious Jews have always known, swimming upstream against ordinary social practices.” Brueggemann went on to suggest we see the church as a body of coworkers who walk a different path in the world and that we live together “for the sake of the world that God loves!” He said we cannot “be the church by accident, but only with obedient intentionality.” In that Sojourner article, mentioned above, they quoted Brueggemann saying “the practice of prophetic imagination … requires energy, courage, and freedom, and the sense of being otherwise. And I have no doubt that we are now arriving at a moment when there is no more middle ground.”

As I pray for peace in our fractioned and turbulent world, and integrity within our policies and caring for the good of all those in society, I ask for the gift of understanding. I pray, also, to be transformed by the gifts of knowledge, fortitude, counsel and wisdom so that I may live in sync with God, radical in justice and mercy. Then, as St. Ignatius teaches, I will desire and choose only that which helps me attain the end for which I have been created.

Wishing you abundant gifts of the Spirit this week, Deena

Image: my favorite icon of the Trinity, created in the 15th century by Russian iconographer, Andrei Rublev.

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Trust the journey

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Madonna della Strada, Our Lady of the Way, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I recall the words of one of my wellness teachers in Michigan as I prepared to leave corporate life in the late 1980’s and move back to Illinois to open a business. He said, paraphrasing a bit, teach what you want keep practicing or what you want to learn. Many of us that write or teach do just that. It’s often a thought we want to explore more, go deeper with, or remember about our journeys. That is very true with today’s post!

The past couple of days have been challenging ones. I was doubting and wondering what lies ahead for me. It’s part of the reason that the past couple of blogs have been about listening to an inner call and watching for guidance from Spirit. But more specifically this week, I have been contemplating a way to present a concept about personal call and vocation in life, a Christ-centered approach to looking at the different aspects of our lives and making sense of how we decide what to focus on, the activities we pursue and how they fit in our mission in life. As soon as I put thoughts together, my inner critic would chime in and say “who cares”, “why bother”, “no one needs to know this” or worse, “no one wants to know this”. I got discouraged and depressed.

So Friday, I bought some plants! Dirt therapy is revitalizing! I have hope when I plant and watch my flowers grow and blossom. As I was finishing up outside Saturday morning, I was surprised by a visit from a good friend, Cheryl, who lives out of town, but was in the area to visit the cemetery and another friend. She dropped off an adorable cat, coffee mug, knowing coffee and cats are two of my favorite things. I was touched by the gift and the surprise visit! A few minutes later, another friend, Kelly, texted that she wanted to stop by and drop off a treat. It was an amazing chocolate expresso cupcake from a local bakery, Millstone, which I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday evening! Those brief encounters reminded me that no matter what else is going on, I have loving and cherished friends and have that to be grateful for.

Saturday evening I sat down to catch up on social media and saw a post by the Jesuits of Canada and the United States on Facebook honoring the Feast of Our Lady of the Way, Madonna della Strada, on May 24. I paused and gave thanks for the reminder to trust Divine Timing.

The fresco of Our Lady of the Way is displayed at the Church of the Gesu in Rome, Italy. There is also a replica of the painting in the Madonna della Strada Chapel on the campus of Loyola University in Chicago. St. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, had a deep love for our Lady. Our Lady of Arantzazu and Our Lady of Montserrat Shrines were significant in his personal journey, and the formation of what we now call the Spiritual Exercises and Ignatian Spirituality. St. Ignatius, and later his companions, the early Jesuits, formed and made solemn vows on Marian feast days.

Our Lady of the Way is special to me because she led me to my spiritual director and praying the Spiritual Exercises this past year. Last Spring, when I worked for Ignatian Ministries, I had been talking to Becky Eldredge about the Spiritual Exercises. I knew I didn’t want to walk through the Exercises with anyone that was on our referral list or directors that Becky knew. I wanted it to be with someone that didn’t know me or my work at the ministry. I browsed many Ignatian and Jesuit retreat sites and the minute I found Our Lady of the Way (see info and link below), I knew it was the right retreat center for me. I waited a couple of months, but once I felt that the calling was intensifying within, I browsed the spiritual directors and emailed one of the founders. Besides being trained to walk with people through the Spiritual Exercises, she was trained in Mind-Body, Integrative Healing and Cognitive Behavior Therapy. I just knew she was the right fit! We talked and it was! It’s been a grace-filled year.

This morning, Sunday, May 25, Pope Leo XIV reminded us in his Regina Caeli address that “in all that the Lord calls us to—whether in our life journey or in our journey of faith, sometimes we feel inadequate.” He said that Jesus sends us the Spirit so that we don’t have to worry or be anxious in life in our individual calling or regarding personal responsibilities. Pope Leo, who also has a deep love of Our Lady, said that we too, like Mary, can welcome the Spirit, so that we can be “signs and instruments of his love” to those we encounter. Those words give me hope. I pray that they are an encouragement to you too. Let us watch for the signs that God is with us and that we have the Spirit to guide and encourage us as we attempt to respond to that personal call in each of our lives.

I wish you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Our Lady of the Way, stay with us when we grow weary of the journey…Lead us when we cannot see the path…Because for all we lay down, we pick up something greater, we pick up freedom. Our Lady of the Way, show us the way. (Full prayer on Jesuits.org)

My spiritual director, and her colleagues, have a lovely description of the history and dedication of Madonna della Strada, as well as their retreats and information regarding spiritual direction, on their website, Our Lady of the Way. The Blog section has an abundance of articles on prayer and Ignatian Spirituality, I encourage you to visit it!

Image for today’s blog: the icon of Madonna della Stada at the Church of the Gesu, Rome.