Category: spiritual healing

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Savor these days

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a season of hope, advent, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, savor the days, seeing beauty around me, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith, waiting and reflecting2 Comments

I watched one of my cats, Butters, this morning after he finished eating and was ready to settle down for a morning nap. He walked the house and looked at all of his favorite spots before settling on his blanket on the couch. I will likely join him with a blanket later today and a steaming cafe latte. It’s a good day to stay warm and cozy after the rain and snow last night and, now, the chill and cold in the air this morning.

Friday I was beginning to feel the panic of the season set in – busy days with work, church activities and errands to get done. I cleaned up the cemetery, thinking ahead to Saturday and knowing that I should clean up a variety of pots at home too. I had some bulbs to get in the ground and transplant a plant from a pot to the ground before the cold. I started thinking about the Christmas cards and shopping that I haven’t started yet. I will be helping with a pop up ornament class at the unique shop that I do social media work for, as well as working two mornings a week. November has meetings and holiday events. In December and early January, I will facilitate an Advent book discussion for my parish. I found myself short of breath thinking about it all! I stopped and reminded myself that I didn’t want these next two months to be a blur of activity and stress but rather moments of prayer, worship, family, friendship, and celebration.

Yesterday I simply enjoyed the day. I went to the gym and coffee with my friend, Kelly. Then home to clean out the pots and get the plant and bulbs in the ground, with a heavy coat of mulch. I went to Mass and then dinner with Kelly and her husband, Mark. We laughed and enjoyed our dinner and each other’s company.

It all gets done. Whatever doesn’t, probably wasn’t that important. Or better yet, focusing on being grateful, celebrating Advent and Christmas, spending time with people and making memories is what truly matters. Stress and worry doesn’t help. It also prevents us from savoring the moments as they present themselves.

I am enjoying my Thanksgiving decorations before I move into Christmas. Each night, in the house, I light my candles, lanterns and sparkly pumpkin. When I decorate for Christmas, I leave those decorations up until at least Epiphany. Since it falls on January 4th this year, I will likely enjoy them until mid-January. The merry lights and decorations help with the darkness of winter. The decorations make me happy but also bring lovely family memories with many of them.

I want to move around and make the best decision for my spirit and my well-being, just as Butters did this morning. I want to pause and savor the moment just as I did as I watched this little bird, today’s post image, as it landed in my tree this morning, swaying with the moving branches in the wind.

Maybe you are like me though, and you have to remind yourself to slow down and savor the moments. I don’t want the days to be a blur of getting things done but not enjoying them. As we move into this busier time of year, I invite you to join me in taking intentional pauses to be present, aware of the people you are with and the things you are doing. I know it’s cliche but if today was your last day, would you be happy with how you spent it? Let’s step back from the rush and hectic pace and find ways to enjoy the things we are doing and the people we are with.

As Pope Leo XIV reminded us in today’s Angelus address, we are invited to walk in “the joy of being the holy People that God has chosen” to spread the Gospel message of love and mercy through our daily witness in life. I am pretty sure being stressed out and anxious isn’t the best way to share that message. So, let us be grateful to God for the lives and people we have been blessed with. Even with daily challenges, we can find something to pause and be grateful for. In doing so, we will likely be a bright light of hope to those around us.

I wish you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

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A whispering threshold

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a thin veil, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, growing in faith, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, remembering our beloved dead, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Saints as Models & Guides, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, Uncategorized, visionary faithLeave a comment

I visited the cemetery before Vigil Mass for All Souls Day yesterday (Saturday) afternoon to put small votive candles (as seen in today’s blog photo, I gave up on trying to keep real candles lit in the wind) on our family tombstones, a tradition on the evening of All Saints Day to light the path for souls and a symbol of love and remembrance. A few years ago there used to be groups praying as they visited each gravesite and many more candles. I only see a few now.

I love the tradition of Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead, altars with the many marigolds, pictures, food items and symbols decorating the ofrendas, altars, set up between October 27th and taken down shortly after All Souls Day. You can find many beautiful and elaborate pictures online if it is not celebrated in your area. At my parish, we have a lovely tradition of remembering our beloved dead with candles, many of us provide pictures to be placed by the candles, which will burn all month surrounding the altar. I love to reflect on the candles as all the souls that worship at the altar each Mass with us, Saints and saints, that join in our praise. I will add a photo of the candles this year, below, to the online version of this blog post.

There have been times during the year, or after the passing of someone dear, that I have experienced the thin veil between heaven and earth, the mist of time, more easily. Perhaps that is why I relish these days of All Hallows Eve, All Saints and All Souls so much. We can pause and reflect that it is literally a breath that binds us in our bodies and a more tangible realm. We take so many breaths each day for granted. If you have been with someone as they have breathed their last breath, you know how fragile and temporary life is.

This week, during my Wednesday Adoration time, Fr. Carlson played an organ piece, from the many he has downloaded and saved, that I hadn’t heard before. It was lovely, then dissonant like someone that might have hit the wrong note but it continued. It was jarring and unpleasant at times but then also hauntingly beautiful. I asked him about it afterwards but missed the name except that it was a Babylon meditation (if I get the full title this week, I will footnote it below). We reflected that it seemed a fitting reflection on the exile of Jews from Jerusalem to Babylonia. I later reflected on this symbolically for life. We are exiled, temporarily, from our true home, in Heaven. Life is full of those discordant moments, unsettling and disagreeable, in the middle of beautiful, soothing and joyful times. The next night I had a dream, full of symbolism about my life’s journey. I paused in the morning, journaled about it, not wanting to forget the details that I can reflect on and how they might be inspiration for areas of my life that need transformation. I viewed it as a thin, whispering insight between my conscious and subconscious being.

One of my favorite books, it is likely that I have written about it in the past, is Braving the Thin Places by Julianne Stanz. Early in the book she asks us to pause and take a deep breath, reminding us that “Our spirit did not generate itself; neither did we create it. It comes from a Divine Being who has breathed life into you and me, into all of us.” Stanz writes about her Irish heritage, Celtic wisdom and the beauty and symbolism of the “thin spaces and places” in Ireland. “Out of sight…does not mean out of soul.” The souls of those we love walk with us each day and remain close to us.

The Church asks us to pray for all those who have died, especially those who have no one to pray for them, this month of November. A lovely practice is to visit a cemetery and just pray the “Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord…” Often as I am driving between the tombstones of my grandparents and my parents I recite that prayer over all the tombstones at the cemetery. In the older section there may no longer be family members to pray for them. Whether you are close to the burial places of your loved ones or not, or others you have known in life, take some time during this month of November to remember them and pray in a special way for their souls. They have gone before us with the sign of faith, and have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection (Eucharistic Prayer in the Roman Canon). We shall join them some day.

“…do not let our brothers and sisters be parted from you, but by your glorious power give them light, joy and peace in heaven where you live and reign forever…Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen” (Give Us This Day post for All Souls Day)

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, in the company of all the Saints, this month. Deena

Candles for our beloved dead at Holy Family Parish, Oglesby.

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How you start your day

On By dpavinatoIn #sacredwork, a life of joy, A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, nurturing growth, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey2 Comments

Are your morning routines defined and predictable? Do you have things you do each morning that help you get ready for the day ahead? I have been reading lately that how you start your day, sets your day. I have a pretty reliable and set routine each morning but lately I have been questioning the effectiveness of each morning and also why I am not getting some of the reflection time in that I used to. I miss it and want to find a way to incorporate that quiet morning time back in my schedule.

I listened to Dr. Arthur Brooks, “the Happiness professor, best-selling author and Harvard professor, on YouTube a couple of weeks ago. He described his 6-step protocol each morning that he suggests will create a better day. He begins by getting up at 4:30 a.m. (Dr. Brooks cited a study that showed higher levels of productivity and creativity in those who began their day before dawn), after starting with an early bedtime the night before, exercising first thing (he has a gym in his home or when traveling only selects hotels with 24 hour gyms on premise), having time each morning to spend in spiritual reflection (he goes to daily Mass), delaying his morning coffee (saying that it improves focus and energy throughout the day) and has a high protein breakfast. Then he gets on with his day and makes sure his time is productive time by ignoring emails, the newspaper and social media until later, or checking hourly.

I enjoy listening to Dr. Brooks and his thoughts on happiness, reducing stress and anxiety, and spirituality. But I listened to these six points and felt like such an under-achiever! But to his credit, toward the end of the video, he said try it and adapt it to yourself, even inviting viewer response on how we might have changed it for our lifestyle.

Another routine I read was similar; plan the night before, get enough sleep, limit phone and technology use before bed, practice gratitude, hydrate in the morning, eat a healthy breakfast, move your body or exercise, and practice mindfulness or journaling.

Last week, in an online class, we talked about morning routines and setting daily intentions. Our discussion was about finding a routine that works for us and being aware, or conscious, as we completed all the tasks each morning that feel like an obligation or perhaps even prevent us from doing these things I have listed above. The main point was changing our attitude about those duties that feel as though they are hinder us from doing things we would prefer to do, in my case, my quiet reflection and journaling time.

I tend to get up at 4 or 4:30, feed the cats but don’t always stay up and begin the day at that time. That might be a good place to start, but that also means I have to do a better job of getting to bed early so that I am ready to stay awake at 4:30 a.m. I love watching the sunrise, so I am usually up by then, especially recently as the mornings are darker longer (well, at least until next week). Before daily Mass I do the social media posts for my parish, then get ready for Mass. When I get home the cats usually want more attention, or food if they ate at 4 a.m., and I want my coffee! I do a terrible time with a healthy protein-rich breakfast. At one point I thought about a protein smoothie first thing, but read one natural health practitioner say not to have anything cold first thing in the morning. I hate eggs and don’t eat meat, or very little, so that rules out lots of morning breakfast options. Maybe the better choice is still selecting the smoothie, even though it’s cold, because I would begin the day with protein and fruit.

I have been, over the past few months, working as a social media assistant for two different entrepreneurs, one an independent training and holistic practitioner and the other a retail establishment. I have noticed I get drawn into social media more than I did in prior months by checking out posts and techniques used, which then leads down a rabbit hole of viewing other posts and updates. I would like to discipline myself enough to come home from Mass, make the smoothie (or find a better alternative), make my coffee and sit down to journal before I begin my online work activities. A half hour or so isn’t going to make or break the day for daily sales at the store or online enrollments! Based on Dr. Brooks video, it might make me even more productive and focused.

If you are a pet parent, you also know that you have to be flexible for changes in routine. The cats love the patio as soon as I get home and I am happy to open the doors and windows to get fresh air in the house. The holistic practitioner I mentioned above, regarding the cold breakfast, suggested getting 10 minutes of sunshine early in the day, so it would be nice to step outside with the cats for a bit. That would add 10 more minutes to a routine before beginning work. But seriously, 10 minutes isn’t going to prevent me from getting things done and might even help, by standing outside, taking some deep breaths and reflecting on the day ahead before I sit down to journal.

The gym usually gets delayed until afternoon, if I get there, because I prefer to go when fewer people are there and I can’t imagine adding one more thing to the morning before doing my online work. But that works for me and I guess that is the point of this discussion. My recommendation is take in all the ideas and suggestions about creating a great day and then do what works for you. By all means be flexible and spontaneous too. This Sunday morning I was asked to “play the organ” (i.e., hit the buttons at the right time) on our amazing organ at church, that Fr. Carlson programmed with the music for Mass. I wasn’t in the mood to begin this blog on Saturday evening, my normal writing time is early Sunday morning, but I also wanted to help and relished the idea of attending Mass again this morning after attending Vigil Mass on Saturday. So I am posting it later than normal today. The world isn’t falling apart as a result. Often, on Wednesday mornings after Mass, the ladies invite me to join them for breakfast or a friend might reach out and suggest meeting for coffee. Being social and spending time with people I enjoy is also important to me and my well-being, even if it means other morning activities are delayed a bit. I think the most important thing is that we feel that we are choosing versus reacting to the activities in our day, having a positive attitude and making the most of the time we have been given.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on starting the day in a way that sets you up for a happier, more joyful, day. What routine has been most impactful for you? Do any of these ideas sound like ones you would like to incorporate?

As always, I wish you a week abundant in hope and peace, Deena

Blog image: Bela deciding that he needed to be a part of my morning routine a few years ago.

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Grounded in faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, grounded in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, lifelong learning, mindfulness, nurturing growth, Our unique call, Pause and rest, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, visionary faith3 Comments

I started reading Brene Brown’s new book, Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, The Tenacity of Paradox, and The Wisdom of the Human Spirit, the past few days. I have to admit that it is always her personal reflections and application of her work with the Dare To Lead program that I find most thought provoking in my own life. We’re all leaders in some way; family, church or social organizations, the way we interact and care in relationships, but having stepped away from corporate work I am less interested in leadership qualities at that level. Still, I was intrigued with Brown’s new book and thoughts she might have on the current state of our societal relationships and leadership. I am glad I followed the hunch to purchase her book.

She began with a personal story about recovering from a pickleball injury and how her coach helped her find and work from her core, engage her body and mind in the healing process, and connect to her “strong ground.” She suggests that many of us are struggling to find our ground. She proposes that individually, and collectively in our country and in organizations, “we need to push into the source of our strength and sturdiness so we can navigate the world. We need the ground to steady us and at the same time to propel us into purposeful action.”

Brown writes quite a bit about her study of, and personal journey with, the mindfulness work of Jon Kabat-Zinn in relation to finding our center and being grounded. Citing research she did for another book, Brown says that both anxiety and calm are contagious. She reminds us that staying calm is an intention. When we consider those we encounter each day, “Do we want to infect people with more anxiety or heal ourselves and the people around us with calm?” We need to pay attention; to our breath, to what’s going on within as we speak and make decisions. I NEED to reflect on the attitude I have as I leave the house, am I going to contribute to the day that others are having or am I going to be a tornado of worry, concern and anxious thoughts as I venture out? Some days it just might be better to stay in until the calm returns and I feel grounded in the truth of who I am.

So far, my favorite sections of the book have been on transformation and “grounded confidence”. I tend to read the first couple of chapters of a new book, then browse and read selectively to get an idea of the entire book I am reading, then go back and read more slowly and thoughtfully. In writing about transformation, and summarizing her reflections throughout the book, Brown examines the false notion that learning and change are only about effort one applies. She suggests that real change happens when we focus and build our foundation, and operate from that place of being grounded, instead of reacting to a current situation or perhaps even worse, being so set in our ways that we think that the problem is with everyone else, thinking they are the ones that need to change, not us!

Personally, one place that I build my foundation and center myself is in my daily prayer, reflection and journaling. Daily Liturgy of the Hours, Lectio Divina, or scripture reflection remind me of God’s love and presence, no matter what seems to be going on around, or within, me. The Letter of 2 Timothy caution us that there will be people around us that deceive us and will go “from bad to worse”. But remaining faithful to what we have learned and believed, from Christ, we will remain “competent and equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy: 3)

Remaining faithful to the daily practice of reflecting on the truth of our faith, we will be “strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3: 16-19)

With that as the source of my strength, I am grounded, more capable and willing, to engage with the world with hope and joy.

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Photo: Taken during a visit to Muir Woods, California

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Real life, real faith

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, growing in faith, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Personal call and vocation, praying for peace, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

Some days faith is hard. Life challenges us with the state of the world or the events of our own lives and families. We have constant updates from so many sources, so our minds are infiltrated with the news, close to home and beyond. The apostles following Jesus didn’t have iPhones or social media updates and still they said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” (Luke 17: 5-10, Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time). I pray the same request on many days!

Earlier this week we celebrated the Memorial of our Guardian Angels. I recalled a night, many years ago, walking the dog late in the evening. It was very late, no one out and about, so I chose to walk him in the middle of the street so he would have plenty of room and could survey the neighborhood. We were halfway down the block, but in the still of the night I heard a car turning the corner, speeding with screeching tires, on the street perpendicular to the one I was walking on. My heart raced as I had a feeling the car would turn onto the street I was walking. But I was frozen. In a split second the car did turn and we faced it head on. Suddenly I felt a push on my left side and looking ahead at the dog saw him move in the same way, looking straight ahead but his body being pushed entirely to the right in the same way that I was being moved. The car sped by. I knew in an instant that I didn’t move us and that we had been spared from being hit. I can’t say I thought of my guardian angel much before that night, after giving up the youthful evening prayer of “Angel of God, my guardian dear…” My faith in the presence of my guardian angel grew on that evening and in the many instances I have been protected since.

I read a reflection by Br. Michael Marcotte, OSB, of Conception Abbey on the Gospel for today. He pondered how we continue to find, and grow in, faith when we can’t see the Lord as the apostles did. He quoted Fr. Jacque Philippe and St. Augustine with thoughts to help us grow in faith. He wrote: “Fr. Jacques Philippe maintains that it is through prayer—especially praying with the scriptures—that our faith increases. He wrote “Faith is the capacity of believers to act not according to impressions, preconceived ideas, or notions borrowed from other people, but according to what they are told by the Word of God, who cannot lie.” (Time for God, p. 9). As St. Augustine put it, “Believe in order to understand.” Faith is not a matter of acquiring the right kind of knowledge. It is about entering into a relationship of trust and love.”

Scripture shows us that God is faithful. If we look at our lives over a broader spectrum of time, I believe that we can see that as well. It can be challenging in the moment so I think that Br. Marcotte’s suggestion offers us a roadmap for the journey. He asked, at the end of his article, that we consider how we can deepen our relationship with Jesus and grow in faith.

I need to spend time on that question this week. Maybe you do too? Then perhaps it will begin with the faith of the mustard seed, and over time, grow into a strong and sturdy conviction and confidence.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: One of the memorials in Portugal where the Angel of Fatima, or the Angel of Peace, visited the shepherd children preparing them for their spiritual mission and teaching them prayers.

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Live light

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

I don’t really remember what the discussion was the day my spiritual director asked me, during the 9 months of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, what I would take if I had to leave my home immediately but I have never forgotten the question and my answer.

This week I read a daily reflection in Give Us This Day, by Maxwell Johnson in “Travel Lightly to the Kingdom” in which he asked “how easy would it be for any of us to pack up, pick up and go?” He was reflecting on the possibility of having to quickly pack, leave our homes the next day with the possibility of not being able to return, knowing we only had time to pack a few things. He asked us to consider what we would take, leave behind and then the ultimate question, “How much ‘stuff’ do we really need?” As I reflected on these questions I wondered if the things I possess are bringing me joy or are just a source of stress and anxiety. The questions are natural in later years, along with a desire to purge and live more simply, but they are good ones to ponder each day as well.

Certainly in areas impacted by weather threats like fire or hurricanes, the question has been a real one for many individuals in recent years. People being forced from their homes and their countries as a result of war have faced the same concern. I am sure they could tell us the weight of those decisions, whether given a day or an hour to choose. For them, it isn’t just a hypothetical question. It wasn’t a probing inquiry to reflect upon or a spiritual analogy for all the things that weigh us down and distract us on our journey toward eternal life. It was an impactful decision that forced them to consider what they really needed or wanted.

I wonder, what would I take with me?

This weekend, the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time, the always disruptive parable, in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 16: 19-31) of the rich man and Lazarus, asks us to ponder the same soul-searching questions. Am I leading a life that brings me closer to God? Does my life reflect a love and concern for those around me? Or have I been living a self-centered life focused on more mundane and temporal concerns?

I invite you this week to consider the question in your own life. What would you pack today, knowing you have to leave your home tomorrow? Then, reflecting on your answer, what does that say about the other possessions that might consume your time, energy and financial resources?

Whatever the answer, I hope you find abundant peace and hope this week.

Deena

Image: A sketch of monks walking together I saw hanging in a monastery.

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Dawn of a new day

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual desolation, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, visionary faithLeave a comment

One of the things that I have realized in dealing with, and recently writing about, issues around mental health and well-being is that things always feel worse at night. The darkness, heavy with shadows and devoid of light, seems to forbid seeing possibility. Gloom settles in easily. In January I cancelled all streaming channels and was content to read or work on art projects. The past couple of months required noise from the TV or from YouTube videos, even if they were positive or spiritual talks, as a constant companion, reminding me I wasn’t alone. This week that noise has become a distraction and annoying, TV, especially the news, was intensifying the anxiety instead of calming it. That was a sign, for me, that things are beginning to change. I am beginning to find my way back to peace.

The darkness became a metaphor for the things that I didn’t want to face or deal with. Whatever flaw popped up in my mind became ten times worse when I refused to look at and acknowledge it. As I heard Fr. Ambrose Criste of St. Michael’s Abbey say this weekend as he began the St. Michael the Archangel Novena (preparing for St. Michael’s Sept 29th Feast Day), we need to acknowledge how far we have drifted from the light. We have to recognize and name the darkness, not to be discouraged by it, but rather to be healed. He remarked that only what is named and brought into the light can be healed. “Only what is seen can be surrendered.”

During the Healing the Whole Person Retreat that I attended at the beginning of August, Sr. Miriam Heidland invited us to engage our healing journeys with curiosity and kindness instead of judgment. We were reminded during the retreat that “suffering that is not transformed is transmuted.”

It requires humility to face those areas of our lives that we are not living to our full potential. Qualities that we have been gifted by God to live and express in our being but have been ignoring. To do so, for whatever reason whether doubt and lack of confidence, or due to some harm or damage inflicted by someone, is to ignore what God is calling us to do or be. It’s as if we are saying, I know better than God and my choice to live in fear and lack of trust is more important than trusting that God is leading me to live a certain way. It may also be the divisive voices of the world, the enemy, or the “false spirit” as I prefer to call it. One of those faulty messages is doubt.

Doubt, whether real or imagined, is harmful to our emotional well-being. It can lead us to self-isolate and avoid situations so we don’t have to pretend to act in a way that we aren’t feeling. It can result in procrastination and indecision because we don’t trust that we can make the right decision. We begin to use negative self-talk and criticism about the things we are doing and how capable we feel. We begin to compare ourselves to others, and if we do so through the lens of social media, we will never measure up because the standards we set become unrealistic. Doubt increases stress, anxiety and depression.

When we welcome the light of hope and truth, we can see the flaws as they really are, something to surrender to the grace of change. Then we move forward, yearning to live in trust and peace. We can cast doubt aside, even in difficult situations, and trust that we are not walking alone. I lean in to the words of Psalm 34, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”, the Lord delivers us from our troubles.

On Saturday, Pope Leo XIV spoke a message to those suffering with ALS, acknowledging the difficult burden they bear but offering an insight, and reminder, that the disease offers an opportunity to see that the quality of human life is more than achievements, it is dependent on love. He encouraged them to grow in gratefulness, especially for those who care for them, and for the “beauty of creation, of life in this world, and of the mystery of love.” I think this is a message we can all take to heart, no matter what we might be facing in life.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope this week, Deena

Image: Sunlight streaming through the trees and Anderson Japanese Gardens

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A stronghold

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, anxiety & depression, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, praying for peace, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, toolkit for the spiritLeave a comment

This weekend our local area Oblate group met and began our 2025-2026 reading and discussion of Sr. Joan Chittister’s The Rule of St. Benedict: A Spirituality for the 21st Century. Many of us have studied it in our Oblate groups before but it’s a wonderful commentary of The Rule to revisit for anyone desiring to follow this spiritual guidance in our secular world. As we began our study for this month, we read the chapters of The Rule on guidelines and order of praying the psalms in the monastery. Each monastery creates a breviary, or guidebook, for the praying of the 150 psalms. It is similar to the order of praying the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours, or Divine Office, prayed by clergy and lay people each day in a sequence of four “weeks”. St. Benedict in his Rule said that how and when the psalms are prayed could vary but it was required that monastics pray all 150 psalms. I don’t have a copy of the breviary used by the Monastery that I am an Oblate, so I pray the traditional “Office”. Over the course of 30 years since it was recommended, and that I have tried (my discipline and commitment have varied over the years, so don’t be too impressed!), to pray the Liturgy of the Hours each day, for Morning and Evening Prayer, certain psalms have become favorites. They become like a healing balm or a familiar friend on days that it feels difficult to pray or that nothing I pray or read seems to help.

There have been plenty of those days in recent weeks. The violence seen in our national news and the continued atrocities of war in other countries are hard to ignore, even if we don’t watch the news. I shared with my chiropractor this week that I am worried for the emotional well-being of young people who are bombarded on social media with these images and opinions. We pondered the impact these stories are having or wondered if they are becoming desensitized to it all. As a child of the 60’s I recall the impact of watching the violence of the Vietnam War on evening news, but it was only on the nightly news or in newspapers, we didn’t have constant images thrust upon us on cell phones and computers.

In this week’s blog I would like to continue the discussion about depression and anxiety and ways to deal with it. I am grateful for the abundance of information on social media in September for Suicide Prevention Month. These sites or pages are dedicated to raising awareness and breaking the stigma around mental health issues. It has not only raised my awareness of statistics regarding suicide and depression but helped me feel understood. Symptoms of depression are varied and we may not even associate them with our depression. It’s easy to try to convince ourselves to ‘just snap out of it’ or “get over it”, whatever the “it” is that perhaps we haven’t really identified anyway!

What can compound the stress is adding the belief that, as a Catholic Christian or person of faith, we should be able to pray our way out of it. The internal dialogue of “if I was holy enough,” “if I was faithful enough,” or “if God really loves me” suggest that if I was any of those things, then all of the anxious feelings would magically disappear. But that isn’t the way that it works! I am not saying that prayer isn’t helpful or that even if we don’t feel like it is working that we should give up on it. We have a wonderful model in St Teresa of Calcutta whose writing revealed 40 years of spiritual dryness, desolation and feeling abandoned. But in all of that, she remained faithful to prayer, to service of the poor and to leading her community.

This week I received and began reading a wonderful 30-day guidebook, Anchored in Peace, by the founders of the social media page, Mindful Christianity. The father and son writing duo begin the book by reminding us that our fear and anxiety do not disqualify our faith. The book is a combination of scripture passages, reflection questions, mindful Christian practices and prayers to help us navigate the difficult times we are experiencing. They suggest that we don’t want to hide the anxiety and pretend it doesn’t exist but bring it into the light and presence of God to be there with us. The authors counsel that we can let our guard down, present the honest feelings we are having, and let God be our refuge, anchor and peace, a day at a time.

After our Oblate discussion this weekend, I reflected that there are many psalms that can be prayed during times of anxiety and depression, psalms that can bring comfort and reassurance. I recalled one of those healing psalms for me. Psalm 144 is prayed on Tuesday of Week II, it is a prayer for victory and for peace. In the psalm King David is praying to God as a fellow warrior, defender and protector. As I pray that psalm I pray for the help of a God who can strengthen me in the daily battles I face, whether emotional or spiritual. I offer a few lines as comfort in the battles you may face in life.

Blessed be the Lord, my rock,

who trains my arms for battle,

who prepares my hands for war.

He is my love, my fortress;

he is my stronghold, my savior,

my shield, my place of refuge.

Wishing you abundant peace this week. Deena

Image: the medieval castle walls in the city of Avila, Spain

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.

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Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.