Category: Trust the journey

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Live light

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Benedictine Oblate, care for creation, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mental wellbeing, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faith2 Comments

I don’t really remember what the discussion was the day my spiritual director asked me, during the 9 months of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, what I would take if I had to leave my home immediately but I have never forgotten the question and my answer.

This week I read a daily reflection in Give Us This Day, by Maxwell Johnson in “Travel Lightly to the Kingdom” in which he asked “how easy would it be for any of us to pack up, pick up and go?” He was reflecting on the possibility of having to quickly pack, leave our homes the next day with the possibility of not being able to return, knowing we only had time to pack a few things. He asked us to consider what we would take, leave behind and then the ultimate question, “How much ‘stuff’ do we really need?” As I reflected on these questions I wondered if the things I possess are bringing me joy or are just a source of stress and anxiety. The questions are natural in later years, along with a desire to purge and live more simply, but they are good ones to ponder each day as well.

Certainly in areas impacted by weather threats like fire or hurricanes, the question has been a real one for many individuals in recent years. People being forced from their homes and their countries as a result of war have faced the same concern. I am sure they could tell us the weight of those decisions, whether given a day or an hour to choose. For them, it isn’t just a hypothetical question. It wasn’t a probing inquiry to reflect upon or a spiritual analogy for all the things that weigh us down and distract us on our journey toward eternal life. It was an impactful decision that forced them to consider what they really needed or wanted.

I wonder, what would I take with me?

This weekend, the Twenty-Sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time, the always disruptive parable, in the Gospel of Luke (Luke 16: 19-31) of the rich man and Lazarus, asks us to ponder the same soul-searching questions. Am I leading a life that brings me closer to God? Does my life reflect a love and concern for those around me? Or have I been living a self-centered life focused on more mundane and temporal concerns?

I invite you this week to consider the question in your own life. What would you pack today, knowing you have to leave your home tomorrow? Then, reflecting on your answer, what does that say about the other possessions that might consume your time, energy and financial resources?

Whatever the answer, I hope you find abundant peace and hope this week.

Deena

Image: A sketch of monks walking together I saw hanging in a monastery.

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A season of change

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, anxiety & depression, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, hope and healing, mental wellbeing, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, season of change, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Saturday morning I was motivated to get moving early and left for the gym by 7 a.m. While driving I saw a flock of geese flying from a body of water to their morning destination. I smiled wide and wished that I had been parked somewhere to hear their loud and noisy morning conversation, likely discussing the best field to descend upon. Seeing them in their large wedge reminded me that fall is on the way.

The past few days have been glorious with the arrival of cooler temperatures; chilly mornings, lovely sunlight days and crisp evenings. I have even seen a few orange leaves on trees as well as the subtle hint of change to come in the green leaves still lush on the trees. I am ready for more days like this and all of that change. It is absolutely my favorite season.

To be cliche, Autumn reminds us that change can be beautiful.

However, we can fear, resist and even struggle with change, whether it is internal and emotional or external and situational. That fear, resistance or struggle can bring on feelings of depression or anxiety. I’ve been battling with this for the past month or so. Things are getting better, but I want to share some thoughts and ideas over the next couple of blog posts in the event that you struggle with this at times. We all have a “bad day” now and then, but more serious, or clinical, depression is when it lasts for a longer period of time, such as a couple of weeks.

I saw an insightful post this weekend on happiness, Mental Health in America and Suicide Prevention Month. It reported that over 800,000 people die by suicide each year, one death every 40 seconds. They suggested that we destigmatize mental health and let others know that talking about mental health is not attention seeking. People die in silence every day due to the judgments of others. I know, for myself, it’s easier to hide behind “I’m fine” when asked how we are doing. In a world in which we are so constantly connected and “talking” to others, it is amazing that we can feel so alone and isolated. In 2024 a Gallup survey reported that 30% of adults experience weekly loneliness with single adults being more greatly impacted and young adults (15-24) feeling lonelier than any other age group. Yet, seeing any group of young people at a table or gathering, chances are you will see them with heads in their phones, staying “connected”.

I have been utilizing a variety of tools and resources to help deal with the feelings I have been having. Things like talking to my doctor, meeting with a counselor, seeking spiritual guidance, spending time in prayer and meditation, reading books and poetry, taking supplements to help with mood and relaxation, and exploring a variety of creative projects have all provided some assistance. Friends that are able to listen and provide genuine care and compassion are essential so seek them out and let them know how you have been feeling. Go slow and make sure you are sharing with a friend that will truly hear you so that you don’t feel worse after opening your heart. It isn’t the words that they say in response, but the care you feel that will make the difference. However, if you feel alone and that no one will understand, please know that there are places to turn. Reach out to your pastor/priest, deacon, or other resources in your communities of faith, such as a spiritual director or faith companion, or by exploring mental health resources in your community. I also hope that some of the ideas that I will share in upcoming blogs will be of some assistance.

In addition to any of those resources, we have to be willing to look at things in a new way and to be open to the grace that comes to us as we pray for change. Friday’s Gospel reading of the day, from Luke chapter 5, regarding the old and new wine skins is a great reminder. We need new wineskins for new wine. Jesus says new wine in old wineskins will cause them to break. He also says that the person that has been drinking the old wine doesn’t want the new wine, saying that the old wine is good enough. Change is hard. It’s risky. We have to put on new ways of seeing, thinking and being. If we just consider the struggle, we won’t want to change. But if we look for the opportunities, we just might see the situation in a new way.

I was reminded of the Autumn – Season of Surrender section of the book, The Circle of Life; The Heart’s Journey Through the Seasons, by Joyce Rupp and Macrina Wiederkehr. In one of the chapters in that section, Joyce Rupp writes “If you look at a sunset, you might see only the disappearance of daylight. If you look beneath, you may see darkness opening the splendor of stars… If you look at lost dreams, you might see only disappointment and doubt. If you look beneath, you may see the stuff that new dreams contain… If you look at yourself, you might see only tarnished unfinishedness. If you look beneath, you may see your basic goodness shining there.”

Let’s be willing to “look beneath”.

Today I conclude with a few lines from a favorite Mary Oliver poem, Wild Geese:

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Wishing you abundant hope, peace and the assurance of knowing you have a place in this world and that you are not alone, Deena

Photo: Tree colors from my visit to Anderson Gardens in Rockford last fall.

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Visionary faith

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, Pope Leo XIV, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, The Spiritual Exercises, Trust the journey, visionary faithLeave a comment

I met with a Catholic counselor/coach this past month to explore a prayer technique I was interested in learning more about and discuss experiences I had during a recent retreat. One of the most helpful aspects of the meetings was a recommendation to explore a couple of personal assessments and then meet again if interested to discuss them. One of the assessments explored life experiences, or achievements, and what they reveal about the truest expression of ourselves. The summary stated that we change over time but “What remains constant are the God-given motivations that fuel your decisions and behavior.” This reminded me of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, that I have written about in previous blogs. The Spiritual Exercises help us name desires and motivations and in doing so, discover ways that we can serve God, in our own unique and personal way, and lead us toward God’s deepening life within us.

The assessment summary provides a person’s top 5 motivations and top motivational dimension. My top motivational dimension was Visionary. Each of the motivations and this top motivational dimension make perfect sense and I can see why I am drawn to certain activities and relationships in life and why they fill me up or make me feel purposeful and alive. I think it will be helpful as I continue to discern what’s ahead for me in life.

As I thought about the dimension of Visionary, someone who loves to envision possibilities and ideas and find practical ways to bring them to life or to inspire others to bring things to being in their lives, I thought about life with God and visionary faith. To be a Catholic Christian in today’s world requires visionary faith. While this was not what the assessment was talking about, I reflected that to live and share our faith with others requires a visionary approach. We live with a faith that hopes in the promises of God, that looks beyond what we see in our current reality, and looks to the spiritual realities to direct and guide our choices. When we look to those in scripture that heard and acted on God’s voice and guidance, they hoped in a life beyond current circumstances, they lived and acted, on God’s promises. With visionary faith we are able to move forward in life based on hope not fear.

But we are called to live differently as a result of our faith. Pope Leo XIV challenged us in today’s Angelus message saying that God doesn’t want a church full of those who only offer prayers and sacrifices. He says that our faith should lead us to practicing justice and loving our brothers and sisters in this world. Pope Leo went on to say that it isn’t an easy path, that our choices in life may be unpopular, that we must fight “against our selfishness, giving ourselves for the sake of others, and persevering in doing good even when the logic of evil seems to prevail.” That is visionary faith!

So, let us choose this “narrow path” (today’s Gospel, Luke 13:22-30), believing in the life that Jesus invited us to, discerning God’s will in our lives, and acting with courage and hope in pursuit of a joy that comes from living more deeply in God’s love.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Photo: I selected this image of St. Bartholomew and St. Lawrence from the Museo de San Marco in Florence, Italy, because today, August 24, is the Feast Day of St. Bartholomew. St. Bartholomew was one of the 12 Apostles and was recognized by Jesus for his pure heart and acknowledgement of Jesus as the promised one of God.

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Toolkit for your spirit

On By dpavinatoIn a school of God's service, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Ignatian prayer, Life in the Spirit, Sacred Heart of Jesus, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual desolation, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, toolkit for the spirit, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

Friday evening I was listening to a YouTube recording of a conference talk by Monsignor James Shea of Bismarck, North Dakota. He began his talk sharing an experience he had during a flight delay, hotel layover and then subsequent flight back to North Dakota. To sum up his (humorous) introduction, he was having a bad day! He was honest about his attitude during the various events as they unfolded. While very funny, and a great introduction to the theme of his talk, I have to admit being very surprised. I had this ridiculous notion of this very intelligent and pious man living a life without the many reactions he voiced. The kinds of reactions I experience daily. I was surprised, but also relieved.

We all have those days, or perhaps weeks, when things just aren’t going the way we hoped they would or we find ourselves facing feelings we would rather ignore and stuff down, and away, out of sight and mind. But I am wise enough to know that, in the long run, that isn’t the right approach! We have to walk through those days and, leaning on support when needed, and look at the source of the feelings so that we can move through and beyond them.

Sometimes the light shines through and creates an opening when least expected.

I was reminded of this on Saturday morning by reading “Midmorning Blessing Prayer”, one of my favorites, by Sr. Macrina Wiederkehr (dec’d 2020) from her book, Seven Sacred Pauses. I can’t describe what happened except to say that the clouds parted and hope streamed in.

“What is a blessing but a rain of grace falling generously into the lives of those in need; and who among us is without need?“

Sr. Macrina’s writing has always been that glimmer of hope for me. Why did I forget picking up a favorite book of poems or blessing prayers, these past two weeks? Why didn’t I turn to the things that bring light to dark places? I reflected on those questions and realized I had a couple of answers.

First, in moments of desolation, it’s hard to remember to get up and seek a healing remedy. We don’t have the energy to seek out the very thing that might help us. St. Ignatius of Loyola would call “desolation” those times when we are feeling restless and in a state of dis-ease, when we feel hopeless or discouraged, when we might even sense that God feels far away.

I have been reminded this week, reading Experience Jesus, Really by John Eldredge and his premise that as “Disciples of the Internet” we expect immediate answers. We can Google and find out a solution to anything that might be going on in our lives. It might be true, I can find a supplement or exercise routine to feel better, but what is more likely is that I will participate in endless scrolling to distract myself. We’re “told” that prayer and mystery aren’t necessary (or desired). We also don’t see, or realize, that there is a darkness and evil at work that we need to protect ourselves from. We might not be comfortable calling that darkness “the devil” or a demon. “False spirit” or “enemy” might be easier words to use and grasp. Whatever we call it, it is a real force in the world. It’s a force we need to protect ourselves from. For another blog, but so I don’t leave you wondering, John’s book offers insight on prayer, provides several specific prayers, and suggests that the practice of being an “ordinary mystic” can bring us closer to Jesus and the refuge he offers us in a broken world.

I also reflected back to the three years, and the Ignatian wisdom I learned, while working at Ignatian Ministries. Becky’s (the founder) class series Going Past the Shallows, (GPTS) on the Ignatian Rules of Discernment, gave me a lot of insight on desolation and the false spirit, how to recognize and deal with times of desolation, and the concept of Agere Contra, meaning to fight against. (A new version of the first in the GPTS series, Ignatian Prayer Methods, is being offered this Fall.)

My pondering of my “stuckness” and desolation of the past two weeks reminded me that I need to have some things at the ready during times like this, a Toolkit so to speak, that I can turn to. All of the things I will mention were right here, alongside me, but I didn’t think to turn to them. Perhaps a list would have helped. Imagine having a list in preparation for a vacation, or young expectant parents anticipating the sudden trip to the hospital, the list makes sure we don’t forget the essential things we need to have with us.

  • Reading Sr. Macrina’s, or a variety of other authors that inspire and lift me up, with a cup of tea in a quiet spot.
  • Turning to a special prayer, like the St. Michael the Archangel prayer, or Litany to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Divine Mercy Chaplet or a favorite mystery of the Rosary.
  • Contemplating a prayer card, a favorite image of Jesus, Mary or the saints.
  • Knowing who we can turn to, a trusted friend or spiritual guide to walk with during the difficult times.
  • Setting aside times of prayer for daily Mass or Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.
  • Using a journal for writing, drawing or expressing yourself in some way.

What would be on your list? What do you turn to in times of need? How might they help you and how might you turn to them more quickly in the future when feeling the world weighing heavy upon you?

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: My photo in the prayer chapel of Benet House, the retreat house at St Mary’s Monastery in Rock Island, where I am a Benedictine Oblate.

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Before the bloom

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, nurturing growth, Our unique call, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journey, waiting and reflecting3 Comments

This week I happened upon an article about pruning lantana plants. I have a few plants in pots and didn’t realize to get the most proficient blooms that it is best to prune them when the weather is hot and sunny, then as things begin to cool down you stop pruning. So, I will have to see, with warm days still in the forecast, if I can revive them a bit.

As a result I began reflecting on my Savannah Grass blooms. It’s a lovely grass that my friend Kathy introduced me to three or four years ago. I learned after the first year, one plant in front of the house and one on the patio in back, that they prefer a longer day of sunlight. So the past couple of years, and this, I have had two plants on the patio that has a full day of sun exposure. They produce a lovely, delicate, pink plume that gently sways in the breeze like the one we have this Sunday morning. The cats actually love a piece of the grass each morning, they sit and wait for me, not so patiently, to find the perfect blade for them. As you see in the blog photo for today, one of my plants has produced the anticipated blooms but one has not.

I began reflecting on why one plant produced plumes and the other didn’t. I water them at the same time and the same amount. I feed them on the same days. They are only seven feet apart and get the same amount of sunlight. Then I remembered that after buying the plants, both started from seed at the same nursery, that I repotted one in a larger ceramic pot with new potting soil, and the other I left in the large container from the nursery and just dropped it inside a very tall ceramic pot. The first year I bought that particular pot I filled it with soil (a lot of soil!) which made it difficult to move. The next year I emptied it, filled with bricks so that my Savannah grass can sit nicely on top the bricks inside the pot and cascade over the sides. The difference it seems is the soil that I planted, or did not plant, each of the grasses in.

As I reflected on my plant situation I recalled a recent Gospel reading, Matthew 13: 24-30, regarding the Kingdom of heaven being likened to a man who sowed good seed in his field. While I don’t have any weeds, like the parable, my plant didn’t produce the desired blooms.

If you aren’t seeing the desired “blooms” in your life, or desired fruit, using another Gospel and garden analogy, I invite you to reflect with me on the following questions. I would like to continue with my garden metaphor and ponder whether I have been seeing the fruits of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, gentleness, patience, etc.

Has your “soil” been properly prepared so that you are seeing these fruits? If not, or if in some way someone or something was detrimental to that growth, what can you do to amend the soil? Are you watering your plants each day with prayerful reflection? Are you nourishing the soil with the support of a faith community? Are you watching for “weeds” or other harmful influences, that might choke growth and inspired living? Are you monitoring your growth or just hoping for the best?

As we enjoy these final weeks of summer, I hope you will use the opportunity to look at your flowers or gardens as an inspiration for your life, supporting and sustaining each day just as we would our precious plants.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

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Pulling out all the stops

On By dpavinatoIn a life of joy, A life worth living, a school of God's service, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, Daily Prayer, Every day Catholic, Fruit of the Spirit, Gifts of the Spirit, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Last week I mentioned that I enjoy watching YouTube videos for entertainment, instruction and reflection. I shared that I enjoy watching Paul Fey and his playing the great organs around the world. If you use technology you know that the algorithms see what you watch and then show more of that type of content to your feed in the way of posts or ads. Sometimes it’s helpful and sometimes it is just plain annoying.

The other night I opened YouTube to watch a video and saw an organ short titled “Pulling out all the stops”. I laughed out loud, not realizing the source of that idiom. I watched as the organist pulled out all the knobs on the side of the organ and how the sound of the organ changed and amplified.

My post photo today is our organ at Holy Family Church. You will see the stops on the side, we have about 30 or so stop knobs on our beautiful organ. On the large organ at Holy Name Cathedral in Chicago, built by Flentrop Orgelbouw, (image from my recent visit to Holy Name pasted at the bottom of this blog) there are 71 stops and 5,558 pipes. The stops are the primary way that an organist controls and shapes the sound that is produced by the organ. They produce the pitch and tone of the sound and allows the air to flow through the pipes on the organ.

The use of the phrase, “pulling out all the stops”, suggests that we are going to do everything in our power to make something happen or to succeed. I paused to think about this with regard to our faith life. What if we pulled out all the stops in our daily prayer and living of the Gospel message? What if I lived “full out” in my belief that I am a beloved daughter of the Father and a disciple and friend of Christ? Am I living my life in a world of “just okay” when God has something greater in store for me and my life? To use the organ analogy, by pulling out all the stops, can I get the loudest, fullest, deepest expression of what I am meant to be in life?

The Gospel message this weekend for the Seventeenth Sunday in Ordinary time encourages us in persistent prayer. Jesus, in Luke’s version, assures us to be confident in our prayer, to be bold and persistent. In our Old Testament reading, Abraham is bold in convincing God to spare Sodom if there are at least 10 faithful individuals who remain in the city destined for destruction. Jesus guides us to approach God, as our loving Father, confident and trusting.

That’s what I want in my faith life! Deep, rich, vibrant spirituality lived with passion and confident trust that God knows all I need and desire to live my best life giving glory to him! Are you living in a world of “just okay” or are you willing to place your trust in God and pull out all the stops in living that faith?

Wishing you abundant peace, trust, and hope this week, Deena

The organ at Holy Name Cathedral from the nave, or main seating area, of the Cathedral.

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Playing your hand

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, a school of God's service, a season of hope, Answering the great question, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, contemplation, curious and receptive, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, surrender, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I love YouTube videos! I can find something to satisfy every mood – videos to learn a crafting technique, Paul Fey visiting and playing organs in various churches and countries around the world, news reports (especially when I stopped streaming TV and wanted to catch up on events) and listening to and reflecting on various spiritual talks and discussions.

Last night, Saturday evening, was one of those nights when I wanted to listen to something inspirational. I had a strong desire to further reflect on my week and some of the things that came up in prayer and journaling, trying to make sense of what action might be next for me. A video by Fr. Gregory Pine, a very popular Dominican priest and conference speaker, popped up in my YouTube feed so I followed the serendipity of the moment and watched his talk at SEEK25. I’ve watched many of his talks in the past so I knew it would be worth the time to listen.

During the conference talk, Fr. Gregory, said that in life we need to play the hand we have been dealt. He said that the journey is to honestly reflect on the cards we have. We can look at others and say yes, there are others who are more talented or more gifted, but how are we going to play our hand? The goal is to “play the game beautifully even if you don’t have the best cards.” As we look at our lives we might not love what we find or where we are, but that’s ok because it is a starting point, the “Lord made you good, and he loves you, and he loves your destiny more than you do, and he is excited about the prospect of conducting you hence, strongly and sweetly.”

If you have been reading this blog over the past (almost) three years, you know well that I am always looking for ways to grow spiritually and improve my life. It has become more clear in the past year that I also want to discern the ways that I can help others do that. The past week or so has been a time of intense questioning of that desire and how that might come to life. I have to be honest and admit that in assessing thoughts about the “how” I have gotten dragged down and was melancholy about when it was going to become clear to me.

A couple of things happened this week that reminded me, as Fr. Gregory did, to slow down and trust the process and divine timing. Wednesday during my weekly two hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, during our parish Adoration time, I read a reflection by Christina Leano (on the staff of the Laudato Si Movement) in my Give Us This Day prayer guide that invited me to lean into curiosity and just show up in prayer, to simply ask “God, how do you want me to be with you right now?” and “rest knowing that the answer is secondary”. It was powerful and while letting go of the answer I might have been looking for, I was gifted with an insightful time of conversation with Christ. I was loved and beheld as simply who I am.

The next day I happened upon a seminar that might be helpful to me as I seek to use my gifts to help others. Then later in the week I listened to podcast that introduced me to some new concepts that are used in spiritual counseling. I was so excited about learning new ways that are being used to combine faith and spirituality in the realm of counseling, psychology, and brain science. I look forward to reading more about it, and my guess is, that in some way, it’s also a preparation and foundation for the healing work that will be experienced during my week long retreat the first week of August.

So Saturday evening, after listening to Fr. Gregory, I smiled in awe and gratitude in the ways that God might be aligning things in my path to pay attention to. I am also reminded today, in Luke’s Gospel for the Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, in the familiar story of Martha and Mary, that it is important to take the time to listen in prayer. Being busy, always doing, distracts from seeing those hints from God as they show up. It’s essential to be still and to be watchful for the guidance as it appears. But before all of that happens, it’s also important to know what it is I am seeking, to ask for the grace to be guided.

What grace do you seek this week? How might you just “show up” and sit in curiosity, watchful for the signs of God’s grace as they appear? Can you find time in your day to just sit and be held in the loving gaze and presence of God? You don’t need an agenda, or things to discuss, just show up and simply BE.

Wishing you abundant peace and hope, Deena

Image: Flowers and a bench on my patio

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Pause and rest

On By dpavinatoIn A life worth living, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Life in the Spirit, mindfulness, Pause and rest, Pope Leo XIV, Rest for the weary, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

Some days writing is like turning on the kitchen faucet and the ideas, like water, pour forth easily. Other days it is like watching water boil, but I am ready for the tea right now! None of the ideas I had to share today were developing. I decided not to fight it. I am just tired.

I am weary from the news. As if this week’s National news wasn’t enough, today my heart is breaking for the families who sent their children to Camp Mystic in Texas and now will be planning funerals. I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief they are experiencing. They will be on my heart, and in my prayers, along with all the others experiencing the devastation from the flooding river.

I didn’t realize how changes around me, some personal and some broader, were impacting me until I made an effort this week to breathe a little deeper and slow down. I felt the weight of those changes and decided to honor them instead of ignoring them.

This morning I saw a quote by Etty Hillesum, Dutch Jewish author and modern mystic who was murdered at Auschwitz in December of 1943, which said “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths, or the turning inwards in prayer for five short minutes.”

I sighed and thought “Yes, just rest today. You don’t have to write or do anything else.” I was going to simply write and suggest we all rest and pause today.

But, I was also reminded of Pope Leo XIV’s prayer intentions for July on discernment and the prayer he wrote. Part of the prayer says: “I ask you for the grace to learn how to pause, to become aware of the way I act, of the feelings that dwell within me, and of the thoughts that overwhelm me which, so often, I fail to notice.”

Like Pope Leo (as stated further in the prayer), I long for the choices that bring joy and bring me closer in my relationship to God.

So, today I pause and rest. I will make some tea, slowly, not rushing the water as it boils. I will enjoy the flowers that seem to be as relieved as I am from the intense sun and heat and are just radiant under the cloudy skies. Perhaps you will be able to take some time to rest today too.

As I researched the quote shared above by Etty Hillesum, to make sure I was sharing her words accurately, I saw another. I offer it to you today too.

“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace, and to reflect it toward others. And the more peace there is in us, the more peace there will also be in our troubled world.”

Wishing you abundant peace and rest today, Deena

Photo: Butters will be my muse for rest today. He is an expert!

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An ever-present call

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, An example of faith and hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, Ignatian prayer, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, Our unique call, Personal call and vocation, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Trust the journeyLeave a comment

I laughed out loud this morning when I read Kate Bowler’s Blessing for today on social media (“A Blessing and a Curse for your best life now”). “I am a project with a thousand open tabs. A walking checklist, forever waiting for the satisfying ding of completion. And this much is true: I am incomplete. But no one ever promised we’d get to feel whole.”

I LOVE THAT!

I often have this sense (and maybe you do too) of some magical finish line to cross. We think we will finally get all the insights, knowledge, tasks complete, big picture finally clear, etc. Then everything will be fine.

Nope! It doesn’t happen that way. It’s an ongoing, ever-evolving journey. (That’s exactly why I titled my weekly blog “Journeys”!)

We have to listen to the calls and invitations in life but then shape it to our own way of being in the world. One of my favorite craft makers and designers constantly reminds us, “You do you!” It doesn’t work to copy someone else or expect our “projects in life” to come out the same as their version. As a matter of fact, that would likely be pretty boring. Yes, I certainly look to others to inspire me but then have to do it my way, go “rogue” and make it my version of being.

Just the other day I was sharing a new project idea with a friend and thought it might be a great idea for her too. My project looked one way and the idea I had for her was something that would be unique to her and what she shares with the world. We both love to teach and help people grow in self-awareness and being their best selves, but we have two unique ways of sharing it. And that is just perfect! Neither of us could, or would want to, present our ideas the way the other one does. We support and encourage each other in our unique ways of being.

I’ve shared in previous blogs that this uniqueness of call is one of the things I love most about Ignatian Spirituality. Discernment, whether to our vocation in life, or the every day decisions we have to make, advise us to look at our desires, our unique gifts and aspirations, the needs of those around us and in the world, and most importantly, our dialogue with God and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God wants to use the things we love to do, and that we have been given the ability to do, to do God’s work in the world.

I love the quote by Blaise Pascal, “The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of… We know the truth not only by the reason, but by the heart.” We have to listen to the desires of our heart, in union with our intellect and the Spirit, as we respond to the “call” in front of us each day.

June 29 is the Solemnity of the Saints Peter and Paul, a great Feast Day in the church. Peter, despite his lack of education and constant faults, and even betrayal, was entrusted with the initial guidance of the Church. Paul, a persecutor and enemy of the early followers of Jesus, became the most distinguished and esteemed writer of the scriptures that serve as a roadmap for Christian living and offer instruction and guidance to the Church. Both died as martyrs for the faith.

I would venture to say that when Jesus said to Simon, “You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church”, or when St. Paul was knocked off his horse, blinded by light and led to the home of an early Christian that he would have been known for persecuting, that neither of them had a clear vision and goal, the perfect five-year plan, and knew what lied ahead for them. They only knew to respond “yes” to the call. God used who they were, and what they were in life, to call them to something more.

So, this week I propose we give ourselves a little grace to having it all figured out. Most certainly, I want to stop comparing and expecting to have all the answers that I perceive others to have. I hope to have a little bit more trust this week than last in the guidance I receive in prayer. I desire to be a better version of “just being me” this week than I was last. That seems like it would be wonderful progress to make!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace this week, Deena

Photo for this week: The San Damiano Cross, taken during my pilgrimage to Italy, in the Basilica of St. Clare in Assisi. It is said St. Francis was praying before this cross when the received the commission to the Lord to “go rebuild the Church”.

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Clearing the weeds

On By dpavinatoIn a season of hope, Benedictine Oblate, Catholic faith, Coming home to myself, contemplation, Daily Prayer, discernment, Doing what we love, Every day Catholic, hope and healing, Jubilee Year of Hope, Life in the Spirit, Life of purpose, mindfulness, sacred listening, sacred seeing, sacred waiting, Seeing things in a new way, spiritual freedom, spiritual healing, Spiritual Journey, spirituality, Teachers and Guides on the journey, Trust the journey, waiting and reflectingLeave a comment

I purchased two new plants to add to my flower beds, so yesterday, in spite of the intense heat, I grabbed the plants, and some garden soil to supplement the area, and dug new holes for the plants. Despite the abundance of plants and cared for beds, there are always some weeds to pull. It’s not too bad if you stay on top of it, but if an area is ignored for a while, it can take some time to remove the unwanted growth. I cleared the spaces, dug holes, then added the gaura and poppy plants. I also decided to move my “Silly String” hosta (shown in my blog image this week) to a place with better light and replenished the soil for it, and around a heuchera, that has been slow to grow. I’m hoping the extra nourishment of the garden dirt will give it the support it needs.

Caring for these plants yesterday was a perfect analogy for my week. I reflected that we have to get rid of the weeds to give space for the desired plants to grow. The garden can be disturbed or strangled by the degradation of pesky plant growth. Sometimes it just needs some attention and nourishment.

By Wednesday night of this week I realized that my own Garden was in a state of disrepair and rupture. But uprooting false ideas, and tending to wounds, can be a tender undertaking. It is, however, a necessary exercise if we want to move beyond a place we are in and approach a desired state of peace and wholeness. To use another analogy, one proposed by my friend Kate Brown in a program this week, we need to “clear the static” to tune in and be in a place of alignment.

After hours of crying and praying Wednesday evening into Thursday early morning, I turned to an anchor (a focal point) to help myself feel grounded and safe. I began to breathe more slowly, calm my mind and gently fall to sleep, trusting in the love and support of God. It was a difficult time, for sure, accentuated by some pain from a serious fall in the morning and, then later in the day, feeling dismissed, and undervalued, by someone. Without noticing and attending to the wounds when they occur, just like the weeds in my flower beds, they can overwhelm and choke the joy and life force from us.

On Saturday morning I found myself recalling the time I taught classes at the local community college, in some of which I shared the importance of relaxation and mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and anxiety. I then opened an email to a podcast on mindfulness and learned a new technique that I was not aware of. Author and mindfulness teacher, Julie Potiker, shared her concept and use of the SNAP technique she developed. SNAP is an acronym, and has a somatic component, like the snap of our fingers, which can help us manage difficult emotions and move through situations with more ease and peace. The S in SNAP stands for Soothing Touch. It might be placing your hand on your heart to get in touch with your emotions in the moment. N stands for Name the emotion. To stop and consider what we are feeling in the moment, not judge or dismiss it, can be powerful. As Julie said, “you name it to tame it”. A stands for Act, we choose whatever we have in our mindfulness toolbox to help us move beyond the place we are in and “change the channel”. It might be deep breathing, listening to soothing music or a teacher that inspires us, talking with a friend, going for a walk or simply picking up an item of meaning or significance to us. Lastly, P stands for Praise. She suggests that here we move into a state of gratitude for “yourself, your practice, the universe, or the deity of your choice.” As I moved through my own difficult emotions this week, I stopped to thank God for the healing work that is beginning, that the fog is lifting, so that I could see more clearly what lies ahead.

Yesterday after I was done with the planting and care for my plants, I was able to see the flower beds and know that I had helped provide an environment for growth for them. I also checked in on my own state of being and knew that I had begun the work of cultivating the soil for restoration and peace. It affirmed my decision (that I have been second guessing since registering last month) to attend to week long retreat on healing. It provided insight to the reasons I have been researching joy and what I hoped I would find there. I gained clarity on the work I want to do and ways that I might share it with others.

Our growth never ends, at least as long as we are on the journey in this life, and I am thankful for that. I hope that you feel the same and know that you are never alone on the journey!

Wishing you abundant hope and peace, Deena