Featured

Holding space for hard truths

Being honest about the thoughts we have, and the beliefs they represent within, can be challenging. It’s probably easier to ignore them with other thoughts like – it’s just a bad day or I’m not that different than everybody else. But if we really want to grow spiritually, personally or emotionally, it’s not a good idea to ignore looking at thoughts and reactions as they come up.

This week I’ve had some challenging invitations to go a little deeper.

Earlier this week I took a seminar with Reform Wellness and one of the introductory comments was “If Christ isn’t the center of your life, something else is.” There can be a million “something else’s” for each of us. It can be other people, jobs, opinions, status, fear or anxiety, money… I am sure you can think of some that are, or have been, true in your life. I definitely had to spend some time thinking about all the things I let guide my decisions or reactions that are not my relationship with God. Instead of looking outside for answers, we were invited to take those concerns we have and sit down for an honest conversation with the Lord. Seems simple, right? But am I willing to hear the answer that may come?

There were scripture passages that challenged me this week as well – Simon and his judgement of the woman with the alabaster jar, the parable of the sower and the seed that falls among the thorns and is choked by anxieties, riches and pleasures in life, and finally, today’s Sunday’s gospel parable of the harvest workers being paid, by the landowner, the wage for an hour of work as the workers who toiled all day.

Diana Butler Bass wrote an insightful article, in her Sunday Musings, regarding envy versus jealousy. She wrote “Envy is a murderer — of our own souls, of others, and of the possibility of communion and community. Envy drives us to have more, to take what we think we deserve, to beat others at the game.” I looked at my own reactions to others or events, desiring to be honest about them. But what surprised me even more was what it brought up about my feelings about injustice I see in our country and my constant, daily, plea, “Why are they getting away with this? God, when are you going to do something about it?” Sure, I have my vote (and that’s important), but how else might I be called to look at, and deal with, those feelings of anger and disgust?

There were a long list of items I would have preferred to write about today. I read emails and commentaries that responded and reacted so much better than I could, so I will leave that to more proficient writers than me. As a quick note, if you haven’t read Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper post, How We Fight, I would encourage you to do so. I think it might be my favorite article of all her articles that I have read. Maria has great insights on approaching the battles we fight, personally or as a society. I agree and want to try harder to implement this approach.

Besides being open and vulnerable, as Shriver suggests, I think it is also important to look for the wondrous moments that present themselves each day – the rain, the moments in between the rain, the cooler temps… simple, little moments can become moments to pause and be grateful.

Today’s photo image is a “grateful” plate I set out this time of year. I purposely left the dark shadow in the photo as I took it, because I think worry, stress, judgement, etc can be an “opposition voice” that gets in the way of our gratitude if we let it.

This week, if moments to look within and be honest arise, approach them gently and then look for ways to be grateful for the insights they are providing.

Wishing you abundant peace, Deena

Featured

Grateful anyway

I received Kate Bowler’s newsletter on August 12 titled “Why I’m Anti-Gratitude” and I have been on a gratitude practice recovery journey since. Now, first of all, if you have visited this blog before you know I am a fan of Kate Bowler. She’s a wonderful author, podcaster, speaker and professor at Duke University. I have her books and listen to her podcasts. So, this likely won’t change my overall opinion of Kate’s work. She began her newsletter sharing that she began a gratitude practice when she was recovering from a serious illness (Kate is a cancer survivor), and that it helped. But, she went on to say that the wellness industry has turned gratitude into a guaranteed cure for suffering and a “strategy for controlling life and our emotions. Another optimization project we can fail (or succeed!) at.” Simple, she suggests, write 3 blessings a day and you’ll never be sad again, concluding that it’s simply not true. She states that it has become a way to refuse that life is BOTH beautiful and hard.

Ok, I get that.

I paused. I questioned whether my daily practice was making a difference. I judged my current ongoing list of gratitude bullets (on that particular day my list was up to #1440) that I began after reading another author, Mary deTurris Poust’s practice of numbering and keeping the gratitude list going as a way to acknowledge the countless blessings in our lives. I wanted to go to Kate’s Substack account and comment that I don’t think most of us see gratitude simplistically, as a magic bullet for happiness. Instead I considered the study she quoted, that there wasn’t a positive benefit in those participants who journaled gratitude over those who did not. She teaches at Duke after all!

But it just didn’t settle with me. I couldn’t let it go. I believe being grateful does make a difference in our outlook and perspective in life.

Fortunately at the same time, one of the Facebook groups I am part of, facilitated by my Young Living Essential Oils manager organization and Brenda Schuler, our “Diamond” leader, began a 10-day Gratitude Reset Experience. Each day she has posted the benefits of practicing gratitude and rewiring our brains to focus on positive events and circumstances in our lives.

Our energy matches what we focus on. I believe this.

On July 12 Br. David Steindl-Rast turned 100 years old. He has long been a voice, known as the “Grandfather of Gratitude, for the transformative power of gratitude. His TED talk in 2013 tells us that it isn’t that happy people are grateful but rather grateful people that are happier. His 2017 YouTube video, A Grateful Day, has been one of my favorite reminders of the gift of each day. As founder of Grateful Living, Br. David and his organization, are committed to sharing the benefits, and practice, of gratefulness and the impact it can have on our lives and our world.

Dr. Arthur Brooks, a well-known author and podcaster, recently shared his 5 step process toward living a more grateful life. Also a professor (Vanderbilt University), Dr. Brooks says we are living in a “happiness crisis”. He writes and speaks extensively about finding happiness and meaning in today’s world by incorporating simple practices and attitudes into our daily way of thinking and being.

There are countless others. As I reminded myself of these respected teachers and scholars, I reflected that they aren’t suggesting we ignore the hardships in life. They aren’t saying do “this…” and your life will turn around and all difficulties will disappear. But I do believe they are suggesting that we are able to cope with and move through those times much easier when we have a foundation of gratitude for the blessings in our lives.

My faith does this as well. God doesn’t promise a life that is free from any worry or concern. However, I believe that I will be sustained during them. I was reassured as we prayed today’s Collect for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time: “O God, who have prepared for those who love you good things which no eye can see, fill our hearts, we pray, with the warmth of your love, so that, loving you in all things and above all things, we may attain your promises, which surpass every human desire.”

Today’s image is a picture of little Bela on the day he found me. While the pain of losing him this past February remains intense, I am grateful for the years we had together and all the joy and laughter he brought into my life.

Difficult and challenging moments will show up, that’s a given.

Be grateful anyway. Peace, Deena